actually-diabetic

[actually-diabetic]

amir khusrow (1253–1325 CE)

[actually-diabetic]

The Dark Side of Type 1 Diabetes

What’s it like to have type 1 diabetes? What’s it really like? 

It’s like you want to kill yourself, because being dead would be so much easier than dealing with this on a regular basis. Except, you would never actually end your life. You want to, so badly, but you’ll never do it. You don’t want diabetes to win. You won’t let the thing that’s slowly killing you to finally do it’s job. Instead, you just think about death. Obsess over it. To the point where now this disease is a mental game. No matter how often those thoughts cross your mind, you won’t do it. You refuse to let this bastard win.

It’s like you’re drowning. The waves are crashing over your head and water is slowly, and painfully, filling up your lungs but you just won’t die. You need to get air in your lungs. You can’t bare this torture any longer but the pain won’t take you away. You are stuck there in limbo. You can’t die but you can’t live either. Your life is now consumed by pain and no matter how badly you want that breath of fresh air, you won’t get it. Ever.

It’s like you listen to your parents. You follow their step-by-step instructions but they still ream you out for something that was out of your control. You did everything you were supposed to do but it still wasn’t good enough. So, you try to apologize, try to make up for it, but they aren’t having any of it. They punish you and you think ’this is so unfair’ but this is your life now and you have to get used to it.

It’s like the world around you is on fire. Everyone and everything you have ever loved is going up in flames. You do absolutely everything in your power to try to save them all but your efforts are in vein. You’re the only one not getting touched by the fire but you see and hear all your loved ones crying out for your help. There’s nothing you can do. You feel completely helpless. You wish you can do more, but they go up in smoke right in front of your eyes. 

It’s like contemplating giving your self one too many extra units of insulin. Because, maybe then, all of this would go away. You know you’re stronger than that though. However, you’re sick of being strong, sick of being told you’re strong. But, like before, you won’t let diabetes win. So you give yourself the proper amount

It’s like being isolated. No one truly understands where you are coming from. They try to empathize but they’ll never actually get it. You’re constantly the butt of everyone’s jokes. They mock you, tease you, and you feel completely and totally alone. So you shut down, shut everyone out, even if they want to help.

Diabetes feels like you can never win. You can try your damn hardest, but you’ll always lose.  

[actually-diabetic]

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.

Dr. Seuss (via psych-facts)

[actually-diabetic]

some kid just skateboarded down my street crying

[actually-diabetic]

All chronically ill people are cool as hell I’m sorry I don’t make the rules

[actually-diabetic]

mushroom nightlight ~5.50 🍄🌱

http://amzn.to/2wjLyJ9

[actually-diabetic]

10 Steps to Self Care

1. If it feels wrong, don’t do it.

2. Say “exactly” what you mean.

3. Don’t be a people pleaser.

4. Trust your instincts.

5. Never speak badly about yourself.

6. Never give up on your dreams.

7. Don’t be afraid to say “no”.

8. Don’t be afraid to say “yes”.

9. Resist the need to always have control.

10. Stay away from drama and negativity – as much as possible.

Source: Lessons Learned in Life

[actually-diabetic]

This was meant to be a quick warm up, but it turned into a comic that I’ve wanted to draw for a while. This is something that is extremely important to me, and I appreciate it if you read it.

A while ago, I heard a story that broke my heart. A family went a cat shelter to adopt. The daughter fell in love with a 3-legged cat. The father straight up said “absolutely not”. Because he was missing a leg. That cat was that close to having a family that loved him, but the missing leg held him back. Why?!

Many people have the initial instinct of “nope” when they see an imperfect animal. I get it, but less-adoptable does NOT mean less loveable. 9 out of 10 people will choose a kitten over an adult cat. And those 10% that would get an adult cat often overlook “different” animals.

All I want people to do is be open to the idea of having a “different” pet in their lives. Choose the pet that you fall in love with, but at least give all of them a fair shot at winning your heart.

Don’t dismiss them, they deserve a loving home just as much as any other cat. They still purr, they still love a warm lap, they still play, they still love you. Trust me, next time you are in the market for a new kitty, just go over to that one cat that’s missing an eye and see what he’s all about!

[actually-diabetic]

[actually-diabetic]

[actually-diabetic]

[actually-diabetic]

apply for jobs you’re not qualified for! audit upper-level classes! get drunk with your TAs! see that poster advertising that lecture series? go there take notes and ask questions! thank the presenter for talking about this topic you love! if the class is full before you register, email the professor and ask if they can squeeze you in! RAISE YOUR HAND! tell the disability accomodation office to do their goddamn job! ask for help! file complaints! go to class in your pajamas and destroy the reading! you got this! you KNOW you got this! be arrogant enough to learn EVERYTHING! take your meds! punch a velociraptor in the dick! fear is useless and temporary! glory is forever! shed your skin and erupt angel wings! help out! spread your sun!

i had a really good morning! you deserve a really good morning! kill anyone who says you don’t and build a throne from their bones!

[actually-diabetic]

Some weeks ago i was with a friend in Edinburgh for a weekend, and i had planned this Rowling city-walk for us.  We started out at her old house, then walked to the hotel where she finished Deathly Hallows, then went to the Elephant House, and took a stroll by the street where the other cafe had once been. Then, my last stop was a tattoo shop where i had this piece done.

[actually-diabetic]

“Slowly, very slowly, he sat up, and as he did so he felt more alive, and more aware of his own living body than ever before. Why had he never appreciated what a miracle he was, brain and nerve and bounding heart?”

[actually-diabetic]

[actually-diabetic]

me: okay! time to make a short playlist so i get to hear every song on it!

also me: -adds 170 songs to the playlist making it 10 hours long-

[actually-diabetic]

rapper: Shake what ya momma gave ya !!! me: *shakes my debilitating low self-esteem issues and horrible social anxiety*