amusewithaview

[amusewithaview]

I rise out of the depths of tumblr avoidance to set the record straight about something that probably doesn’t matter to anyone but me, but what is the Internet for, if not explanatory narratives about something nobody needed explained?

OKAY SO, Fanlore attributes me writing soulmate fic to a post I made WAY BACK IN THE YEAR OF OUR LORD 2014 (here is the post, reblogged by me on May 22nd, in case anyone was curious [https://web.archive.org/web/20170707232038/https://amusewithaview.tumblr.com/post/86538169905/cinderlily-parnela-lansbury-kenezbian]).

HOWEVER, I have always always always said, whenever anyone asked, that I got the idea for First Words Soulmate Stuff from a post in the Les Mis fandom, so seeing my inspiration INCORRECTLY ATTRIBUTED annoyed me because like—give credit where it’s due, you know?

So I finally hunted down the Originating Instigating Post, the one I STILL REMEMBERED all these years later, and here it is: [https://amusewithaview.tumblr.com/post/85267114295/yo-so-i-just-read-that-post-about-couferre-and]. Discerning readers will note that I reblogged this Les Mis fandom post on May 9th, 2014, a whole 13 days before I reblogged the post that Fanlore currently sites as my likely inspiration.

I’ll grant you, IDK where THEIR inspiration came from, and frankly I do not currently care enough to hunt through their back catalogue of posts circa 2014 and find out, but I WAS INSPIRED BY THIS LES MIS POST.

@dameferre — hi, I cannot for the life of me remember whether we actually interacted at one point or if I was just one of many Internet goblins following you way back in 2014, but—for better or worse—none of my Darcy soulmate stories would exist were it not for you.

On a whole other note—my first soulmate story with soulmarks was posted on AO3 in 2012, in the Teen Wolf fandom, but idk if that’s relevant to the “first words” debate.

And there we go, an explanation—WITH SOURCES!—for something you probably never needed explained.

You heard it straight from Amuse’s mouth.

#fanlore #fandom #soulmate identifying marks #soulmate au #soulmate first words au

[amusewithaview]

[amusewithaview]

At last, accountability.

For the first time in his cruel, racist, abusive, mendacious, privileged life, Donald Trump has been held accountable for his actions. A majority of Congresspersons, representing a majority of Americans, have done all they can do to protect and defend our country from Donald Trump’s crimes. The American people have spoken, and the American people believe Donald Trump abused his power and obstructed Congress, in violation of the laws of our nation.

The trial of Donald Trump is over. Donald Trump is guilty of high crimes and misdemeanors. The evidence of his crimes is overwhelming and undeniable, witnessed by no less than seventeen people. His guilt is established and indisputable. As President of the United States of America, he violated his oath of office, and he has been held accountable by the American people.

And now a new trial will begin. It is, in many ways, more consequential and more urgent than the trial of Donald Trump.

The trial of the Republican Party is about to begin, and the result of that trial is as important, if not more important, than the trial of Donald Trump. That trial is about the future of America, as a Republic.

[amusewithaview]

In this holiday season, especially in light of the impeachment (I was not expecting a present from the government but thanks!), I vote we all put a moratorium on political discussions and come together over a topic we can all agree on:

Chris Evans Thirst

(Knives Out was awesome.)

#chris evans #chris evans thirst #be safe out there kiddies #political discussions at christmas are never a good idea #something clever in cleveland

[amusewithaview]

On Thanksgiving my 15 year old niece told me that Cardi B. stands for “Cardigan Backyardigan” and now I cannot unhear that.

#cardi b #backyardigans #thanksgiving memories #these kids and their memes #cardigan backyardigan

[amusewithaview]

This is in the running for “favorite addition anyone has ever made to one of my posts.”

"fic I'll never write game" with Darcy/Imhotep "Dance Me to the End of Love" because everyone else is doing it

This would be that fic where Loki curses both Jane and Darcy to Hel, but has no idea that there’s a prior claim on Darcy’s soul.  Darcy ends up in the Egyptian underworld with no freaking clue where she is, why she’s there, or what the fuck is happening (obligatory disclaimer that I know a lot more about Greek mythology than Egyptian and am borrowing heavily from the former).  She wanders around lost for quite a while, dodging dangers with great difficulty, and ends up bleeding, frightened, and hiding in a cave when a strange man finds her.  She has no idea who he is, but he looks vaguely familiar and he seems to recognize her… she’s not sure if that’s a good thing or not, and it doesn’t seem like he is either.

He acts as her guide and, lacking a common language, that’s what she calls him.  He leads her through the strange landscape she finds herself in, keeping her safe and relatively sane.  Darcy starts having strange dreams and they all seem to feature Guide.  She’s not sure if they’re his memories or hers or something else altogether.  Slowly, through the dreams, she starts to understand his language and, by the time they near the exit, she’s basically fluent.  Which is good, because people with animal bits suddenly appear out of the woodwork (literally) and start talking about a trial.  One of them blows something at her face and suddenly she remembers everything.

Especially Imhotep, her once-love.

They don’t get time for a reunion before the trial, and Darcy is put into the bizarre position of having to literally compare two lives before a court of Egyptian deities, defending her right to continue existing as Darcy Lewis before a court that really doesn’t like her past as Anck Su Namun.

Then Imhotep steps up as her defense.

The priest makes a surprisingly good lawyer and, eventually, the gods agree that Darcy can go free.  They grant the two a single day together in the underworld with all memories intact.  It’s not enough, and it never could be enough, but it’s all they’ll get in this lifetime, or for many lives to come.  Imhotep may have argued that Anck’s penance has been paid across multiple lifetimes, but Imhotep deliberately subverted Osiris, his sworn patron, and even if it was done in the name of love, it was still a betrayal of his sworn oaths.

They get the day to hash out old grievances and reconnect as new people.  Imhotep discovers that he likes the person Anck has become, and that his love for her is unchanged.  Darcy discovers that Jane and Thor’s star-crossed-and-separated situation is actually not a worst case scenario.  She’s living the worst case and she’ll keep living it until Imhotep has finally paid his dues.

Imhotep asks for one final boon of his god before Darcy leaves.

Osiris, being merciful, grants it.

Darcy ends up back in the real world not five minutes after Loki cast his spell.  Unharmed, and with no memory of where she’s been or what she’s done.  Months later, Dr. Strange will wonder why a physicist’s assistant has the Blessing of Osiris, but it’s not his business and he never brings it up.

[amusewithaview]

Part Two

...

Darcy didn’t actually expect to see either of them again.  Or, well, realistically she knew she would see them again, but she didn’t expect that they would actually stick to what Clint had declared…but they did. It started the very next morning, in fact, when she woke up to find a warm bundle of fur curled around the side of her head.  Through some sort of magic (cat or spy-specific), Natasha started purring just as soon as Darcy woke up.

She stared at the ceiling for a minute or two, processing.  “For the record,” she said, voice still thick with sleep, “sneaking into somebody’s bedroom is more creepy than cool, but I guess there are allowances I can make since you’re a cat right now and I have yet to meet a cat that gave a shit about propriety.”

Natasha’s purring kicked up a notch.

“But if Clint is under my bed, or hiding in my closet, I am going to sic Thor on you.”

A paw came into her line of vision and gently ‘booped’ her nose.

“I’m gonna take that as a ‘no, Darcy, there are no other spies in your suite aside from yours truly.’”

Another boop.

“Okay, well, I need to get up now.  Ah… would you mind leaving while I do shower things and get dressed?”

Natasha got up, rubbed her cheek against Darcy’s briefly, then jumped off the bed and (presumably) headed out towards the regular living area.

Darcy stared at the ceiling some more.  “My life is weird.”

…

Clint was not in her apartment, but he was in the common kitchen area waiting with fresh coffee and an assortment of breakfast pastries and flavored cream cheeses.  As soon as Darcy entered the kitchen, Natasha jumped off her shoulder and onto the counter, making a close pass by Clint’s arm so she could rub up against him briefly.

“Okay…” Darcy said, “you weren’t kidding.”

“Nope,” he said cheerfully. He pointed to the place setting that sat opposite him, “Sit?”

“Sure.”  She sat, grabbed the mug of coffee he slid over to her and took a swig.  Plain black, not doctored to her specific tastes, oddly comforting in light of everything else the two spies were doing.  “So,” she said after liberally dosing her mug with flavored creamer, determinedly ignoring the way both man and cat watched her fix her drink, “what’s your deal?”

“My ‘deal?’” Clint asked curiously.

“Yeah.  Why all of,” she waved a hand at the table, “this?”

“Maybe I think the Tower could use more sane people.”

“Hah!  You jump off tall buildings!  I’ve seen the footage from New York: you are in no way sane, sir.”

He grinned.  “I didn’t include myself in the ‘sane,’ count.  I just said the Tower needed more sane people.”

She squinted at him, “Fair point.  I notice that you didn’t actually answer my question, by the way.”  She grabbed the nearest pastry and bit into it without looking to see what it was: cheese Danish, not her favorite but acceptable. Darcy was not about to deliberately hand either of them any more information about herself, she got the feeling that they already knew more than she would be comfortable with and she still didn’t know why they seemed so invested.

“Didn’t I?” Clint asked, smiling innocently.

Darcy gave him a disbelieving look over the rim of her glasses.  “You’re two broken noses and several thousand devious thoughts away from pulling that off, buster.  And no, you still haven’t answered my original question of why do you care?”

He tilted his head to one side, considering.  “Does it really matter?”

She opened her mouth, then shut it and paused to think.  The odds of them having an ulterior motive that would hurt her were pretty close to nil: they were close with Thor, after all, and she didn’t think they’d want to make the big guy mad.  Also, she was not a bad guy, so they wouldn’t really have any reason to want to hurt her.  Plus, she wasn’t exactly a big player in the grand scheme of things.  Sure, she was close with Thor and Jane, but they were the only Important People that she was connected to, so she didn’t really see how they could benefit from any sort of bait and switch.  They were Avengers, and had Thor’s seal of approval, so they were probably good people (good people who were good at killing people, but still). Darcy considered all of that, and realized that she trusted that they didn’t have malicious intent, so…

“No,” she answered, “I guess it doesn’t.”

Clint grinned so widely that she spent a worrisome microsecond wondering if she’d verbalized her thought process.

“But I’m still gonna ask, because I still wanna know,” she told him.

“Okay,” he nodded. “Now, what were your plans for the day?”

…

That was the pattern for the next week or so: Darcy would wake up with Natasha curled at her neck and purring like a small diesel engine, then Clint would appear with some sort of morning drink and/or snack and an offer to hang out or do something after she was done working with Jane.  She watched movies with him and Sam Wilson (apparently one of the only truly sane people around), made food with Bruce (who she’d been getting to know on account of adjacent lab space), and she found herself starting to like the Tower.  It was surprisingly homey.

Clint didn’t hover, per se, but there was rarely a moment when she was without the company of either him or Natasha.  Natasha-the-cat even followed her to work with Jane, curling on her desk for a nap or playing with a tablet that Stark had modified for her paws.  It was surprisingly… not bothersome.  Jane’s attention was very taken with Thor and SCIENCE at the moment, and it wasn’t as if she’d come to the Tower with a bunch of friends.  Darcy had always found it much lonelier to be alone around people as opposed to alone in solitude, and this wasn’t exactly a normal ‘hosting’ situation.  Without Natasha and Clint, she probably would have shut herself up in her room and been quietly miserable.

They weren’t always doing things together, though.  Sometimes they just did things near each other. Darcy would read in the library and Natasha would curl up beside her, or Clint would bring his tablet and work on… something that was probably classified and therefore Darcy wasn’t going to worry over it.

It was…nice.  She found herself really liking the Tower, and feeling wistful over the idea of leaving – but it was less the place and more the people.  Darcy genuinely liked Clint, he was funny and nice and just enough of a smartass that she could cut loose and snark right back.  Natasha couldn’t exactly impress with her scintillating conversation at the moment, but the fact that she was taking the time to try and make Darcy feel at home was…really nice. Surprising, and she still wasn’t sure why, exactly, the duo were so invested, but she found herself less apt to question as the week went by and she found herself really enjoying their attention.

She was starting to get to know the rest of the Tower’s denizens through them, too.  Sam was sane, Bruce was secretly a total troll, Steve was a lot funnier than the history books let on, and so on.  Darcy still hadn’t done more than meet Stark, sort of contradictory, considering it was his Tower she was staying in, but from the stories the others shared, she thought it likely she’d enjoy him as well.

Darcy was slowly coming around to the idea that the Tower might not be such an awful place to live.

Then, just as she was starting to get used to the status quo, Loki’s magic wore off and Natasha became a human again.

Purrfect Love (Darcy x Natasha SM AU)

A/N: Kicking off my contributions to the Darcyland Autumn Revival with Part One of a story I conceived and wrote MANY moons ago.  Will post part two this afternoon and part three tomorrow at the latest (still polishing).

…

Darcy wasn’t entirely sure how she felt about this whole moving-into-Stark-Tower thing.  She could understand Thor’s reasoning: with Loki having escaped Asgard (again) it was best for Jane and co. to be close to some sort of protection.  On the other hand, Stark Tower had a history of being ground zero for battles and/or attacks.  Darcy had seen this movie before, she was pretty sure it was of the ‘plucky sidekick sacrifices self for heroine’ stripe and while, yeah, Jane was pretty awesome and, to be honest, she probably would throw herself between the scientist and any psychos, she’d really rather not be put in that situation.

“I still don’t see why we couldn’t have hung out on the Bus,” she told Jane a few days into their stay.

“The what?”

“The Bus. At least, I think that’s what I heard Thor call it.  That one agent, that guy who stole all your stuff?  He’s trying to rebuild SHIELD without Hydra, and he’s got some sort of flying base-of-operations.”

Jane paused in her inventory of their machines to shoot her s skeptical look, “Are you sure this was an actual conversation and not the product of weird late-night snacks and bad TV?”

“I maintain that cheesecake and tacos are a fantastic combination,” she replied loftily.

“Uh-huh.”

“Oh, come on, it was one time, Jane!”

“You woke up screaming about blue aliens, Parks and Rec, and cherry bombs,” the scientist said evenly, “it left an impression.”

“Fine, I allow that the Tower is probably a good choice right now,” Darcy muttered.

“Good, because…I was thinking that maybe we should stay.  Even after they catch Loki again.”

“You were what?!”

…

The Great Base Debate was put on hold when Thor comm’d them via JARVIS to let them know that he was returning with his friends.  Loki was ‘not yet defeated,’ but he had been ‘struck a grievous blow.’  Darcy was impressed with JARVIS’s ability to imitate Thor’s speech cadence all while maintaining his trademark dry, verging-on-bored tone of voice.  She wasn’t sure if it was a programmed or a learned skill, but she definitely wanted to cultivate it.

She hung back in the lab finishing what was left of the inventory, which was apparently a much more urgent task than she’d realized since Jane was considering converting this trial run to a more permanent move.  Darcy knew that by the time she finished, Jane and Thor would have reunited and headed off to the nearest appropriate quarters for a more horizontal post-battle reunion.  Since she’d been allocated a bedroom that adjoined Jane’s suite, Darcy thought it would be a good idea to avoid her room for a bit, just in case.  Thor was surprisingly quiet, it was Jane that was the screamer.

Chalk that up as Reason #8 that most people don’t live with their bosses. There are just some things you don’t want to know about the person you collate for.

Darcy finished up, shut the lights off – asked JARVIS to shut the lights off, really – then took the elevator up to the area Ms. Potts had told them was ‘for everyone, really, I mean that.’  The ‘everyone’ area included a kitchen, small library, and TV room.  Darcy planned to avail herself of the first two, not entirely because Jane might have had a point about late-night snacks and bad TV.

She was about 90% certain that Stark would have channels she’d never even heard of.

The kitchen was…not as deserted as she’d expected.  There was a cat sitting on the counter next to the fridge.  It was a really pretty cat, big and fluffy, its fur an interesting combination of what looked like every shade from black to white, making it look almost like a living shadow.  As she got closer, she could see that its eyes were a brilliant green and that it was watching her every bit as closely as she was watching it.

She slowly offered her closed fist for a sniff, voice falling into the saccharine coo of cat lovers everywhere as she murmured, “What a pretty puss! Bet you purr awful sweet…”

The cat’s ears flicked back as she started speaking, but it held still while she reached out towards it. Darcy stopped when her hand was about two inches away from the cat’s nose, letting it decide what it wanted to do. It looked at her face for a moment before leaning in and rubbing its cheek across her knuckles.

A muffled sound behind her had Darcy jerking back and spinning to find a strange man standing on the opposite side of the kitchen island, one hand pressed to his mouth while he stifled…laughter?  He had a bow on his back, so that made him Hawkeye, or Clint Barton.  Darcy had yet to meet any of the Avengers (not counting Thor), they’d already headed out by the time Thor arranged for transport to the Tower.

After a moment, he recovered enough to offer her a smiley, “Hello!”

“Uh, hi?” she said. “Is she yours?” she stepped to one side, gesturing… which she realized belatedly was entirely unnecessary as there probably weren’t multiple cats wandering around the Tower.  At least, she thought there probably weren’t?  On the other hand, she’d been surprised to find this one, so who knew?  Maybe Stark had a whole menagerie.

“In a manner of speaking,” he said, eyeing Darcy with a twinkle in his eyes.

The cat let out a low hiss.

Clint rolled his eyes. “That,” he pointed at the cat, “is Natasha Romanov.  She’d introduce herself, but she’s kind of…incapable at the moment.”

Darcy opened her mouth, shut it, and then attempted a reasonable response: “Are you serious?”

He nodded, “Yep. She’s why we broke off the attack on Loki: he zapped her just as Thor was about to go in for the takedown.”

Darcy turned so she could see both the cat and the man at the same time.  The cat, which may or may not have been the Black Widow, was giving Clint a very unimpressed look, but that was normal cat behavior and not really an indicator of secretly-a-person-ness.  She rubbed her temples with her fingers.  “This is some Prisoner of Azkaban type shit.  Is it always like this?”

“The Tower?”

“Yes.”

He paused, obviously thinking it over.  “This is the first time somebody’s been turned into a cat,” he offered, “but there was a de-aging incident last week and an interdimensional doppelganger the month before.”

Darcy stared at him. “I can’t tell if you’re screwing with me or not.”

He rolled his eyes, “Relax, I only fuck with people I know.  Speaking of which, you are…?”

“Darcy Lewis: lab assistant to Jane, friend of Thor.  He wants us here for our own safety while Loki is running amok…but it might become a more permanent thing, I guess,” she grimaced.  “Assuming I can’t talk Jane out of it, I mean.”

Clint took a step forward and hooked one of the stools out from beneath the lip of the island, seating himself on it.  He had an oddly intent look on his face, like he was measuring her, or something, but he was some sort of secret agent. That sort of behavior probably came with the territory.  “So you’re Darcy.  Thor speaks very highly of you,” Clint told her, “and I know he’s been talking about discussing a move with Jane for a while. You don’t want to live here?  With all the superheroes and cool gadgets – “

“And weird magic and alien invasions?”  Since it looked like he was settling in, she grabbed a seat too, snagging an apple from the bowl between them in the middle of the island.  “I mean, I was there for the New Mexico thing, and the London thing, and the Saskatchewan thing, so magic and aliens and sentient tree-things aren’t exactly new,” she explained, picking at the stem and studiously avoiding his eyes, “but they’re not really normal either, and I’m just not sure I want them to become my new ‘normal.’”

He nodded in understanding, “I get it, I do.  Have you looked for other work?”

She shrugged, then tried not to jump when the cat – Natasha(?) – was suddenly at her elbow, sitting not six inches away.  “I have,” she said slowly, side-eyeing the cat, “but not seriously.  I don’t actually want to leave Jane. I like working with her, it’s fun and it’s interesting, and she’s doing good work that matters, you know?”

“I know,” Clint said solemnly, and, well of course he did.  He was an Avenger.

“Anyways,” Darcy shrugged, “It’s not set in stone yet.  I’m gonna work on talking Jane out of it.  I’ve got till you guys catch Loki, right?”

“Right,” he said, nodding slowly.

The cat stood, the tip of her tail twitching back and forth, and crossed over to him.  The duo engaged in a brief stare down, and then the cat was climbing onto Clint’s shoulder, settling down with a satisfied-sounding, “Mrrr.”

“So,” Clint said, turning his focus back to Darcy, “that means we’ve got just as long to convince you to stay.”

“… What?”

He got up, one hand lifting to brace the cat in case she lost her balance (highly unlikely since 1) she was a cat, and 2) she was Natasha Romanov). “We’ll try and show you the normal, not-crazy side of the Tower so that, even if you can’t convince Jane to change her mind, you won’t have so many reservations about living here.”

Darcy stared at him.  “You and the recently-a-human feline,” she said slowly, “are going to convince me that this place isn’t crazy?”

“We’re gonna try.”

The cat started purring.

“Why?” Darcy asked, suspicious.  “I mean… no, I really just mean the ‘why.’”

He smiled amiably, “Maybe we just need something constructive to do while we wait for the magic to wear off.”  With that, he turned and left the kitchen.

She stared after them. “This place is so weird.”

#the thot plickens #and yes cat!nat absolutely boops other people's snoots #SOVIET CAT SPYSASSIN BOOPS YOU #clint makes the joke once #nat hisses at him #tony is making himself scarce because he cannot stop making pussy jokes and nat WILL claw his face off

[amusewithaview]

Purrfect Love (Darcy x Natasha SM AU)

A/N: Kicking off my contributions to the Darcyland Autumn Revival with Part One of a story I conceived and wrote MANY moons ago.  Will post part two this afternoon and part three tomorrow at the latest (still polishing).

...

Darcy wasn’t entirely sure how she felt about this whole moving-into-Stark-Tower thing.  She could understand Thor’s reasoning: with Loki having escaped Asgard (again) it was best for Jane and co. to be close to some sort of protection.  On the other hand, Stark Tower had a history of being ground zero for battles and/or attacks.  Darcy had seen this movie before, she was pretty sure it was of the ‘plucky sidekick sacrifices self for heroine’ stripe and while, yeah, Jane was pretty awesome and, to be honest, she probably would throw herself between the scientist and any psychos, she’d really rather not be put in that situation.

“I still don’t see why we couldn’t have hung out on the Bus,” she told Jane a few days into their stay.

“The what?”

“The Bus. At least, I think that’s what I heard Thor call it.  That one agent, that guy who stole all your stuff?  He’s trying to rebuild SHIELD without Hydra, and he’s got some sort of flying base-of-operations.”

Jane paused in her inventory of their machines to shoot her s skeptical look, “Are you sure this was an actual conversation and not the product of weird late-night snacks and bad TV?”

“I maintain that cheesecake and tacos are a fantastic combination,” she replied loftily.

“Uh-huh.”

“Oh, come on, it was one time, Jane!”

“You woke up screaming about blue aliens, Parks and Rec, and cherry bombs,” the scientist said evenly, “it left an impression.”

“Fine, I allow that the Tower is probably a good choice right now,” Darcy muttered.

“Good, because…I was thinking that maybe we should stay.  Even after they catch Loki again.”

“You were what?!”

…

The Great Base Debate was put on hold when Thor comm’d them via JARVIS to let them know that he was returning with his friends.  Loki was ‘not yet defeated,’ but he had been ‘struck a grievous blow.’  Darcy was impressed with JARVIS’s ability to imitate Thor’s speech cadence all while maintaining his trademark dry, verging-on-bored tone of voice.  She wasn’t sure if it was a programmed or a learned skill, but she definitely wanted to cultivate it.

She hung back in the lab finishing what was left of the inventory, which was apparently a much more urgent task than she’d realized since Jane was considering converting this trial run to a more permanent move.  Darcy knew that by the time she finished, Jane and Thor would have reunited and headed off to the nearest appropriate quarters for a more horizontal post-battle reunion.  Since she’d been allocated a bedroom that adjoined Jane’s suite, Darcy thought it would be a good idea to avoid her room for a bit, just in case.  Thor was surprisingly quiet, it was Jane that was the screamer.

Chalk that up as Reason #8 that most people don’t live with their bosses. There are just some things you don’t want to know about the person you collate for.

Darcy finished up, shut the lights off – asked JARVIS to shut the lights off, really – then took the elevator up to the area Ms. Potts had told them was ‘for everyone, really, I mean that.’  The ‘everyone’ area included a kitchen, small library, and TV room.  Darcy planned to avail herself of the first two, not entirely because Jane might have had a point about late-night snacks and bad TV.

She was about 90% certain that Stark would have channels she’d never even heard of.

The kitchen was…not as deserted as she’d expected.  There was a cat sitting on the counter next to the fridge.  It was a really pretty cat, big and fluffy, its fur an interesting combination of what looked like every shade from black to white, making it look almost like a living shadow.  As she got closer, she could see that its eyes were a brilliant green and that it was watching her every bit as closely as she was watching it.

She slowly offered her closed fist for a sniff, voice falling into the saccharine coo of cat lovers everywhere as she murmured, “What a pretty puss! Bet you purr awful sweet…”

The cat’s ears flicked back as she started speaking, but it held still while she reached out towards it. Darcy stopped when her hand was about two inches away from the cat’s nose, letting it decide what it wanted to do. It looked at her face for a moment before leaning in and rubbing its cheek across her knuckles.

A muffled sound behind her had Darcy jerking back and spinning to find a strange man standing on the opposite side of the kitchen island, one hand pressed to his mouth while he stifled…laughter?  He had a bow on his back, so that made him Hawkeye, or Clint Barton.  Darcy had yet to meet any of the Avengers (not counting Thor), they’d already headed out by the time Thor arranged for transport to the Tower.

After a moment, he recovered enough to offer her a smiley, “Hello!”

“Uh, hi?” she said. “Is she yours?” she stepped to one side, gesturing… which she realized belatedly was entirely unnecessary as there probably weren’t multiple cats wandering around the Tower.  At least, she thought there probably weren’t?  On the other hand, she’d been surprised to find this one, so who knew?  Maybe Stark had a whole menagerie.

“In a manner of speaking,” he said, eyeing Darcy with a twinkle in his eyes.

The cat let out a low hiss.

Clint rolled his eyes. “That,” he pointed at the cat, “is Natasha Romanov.  She’d introduce herself, but she’s kind of…incapable at the moment.”

Darcy opened her mouth, shut it, and then attempted a reasonable response: “Are you serious?”

He nodded, “Yep. She’s why we broke off the attack on Loki: he zapped her just as Thor was about to go in for the takedown.”

Darcy turned so she could see both the cat and the man at the same time.  The cat, which may or may not have been the Black Widow, was giving Clint a very unimpressed look, but that was normal cat behavior and not really an indicator of secretly-a-person-ness.  She rubbed her temples with her fingers.  “This is some Prisoner of Azkaban type shit.  Is it always like this?”

“The Tower?”

“Yes.”

He paused, obviously thinking it over.  “This is the first time somebody’s been turned into a cat,” he offered, “but there was a de-aging incident last week and an interdimensional doppelganger the month before.”

Darcy stared at him. “I can’t tell if you’re screwing with me or not.”

He rolled his eyes, “Relax, I only fuck with people I know.  Speaking of which, you are…?”

“Darcy Lewis: lab assistant to Jane, friend of Thor.  He wants us here for our own safety while Loki is running amok…but it might become a more permanent thing, I guess,” she grimaced.  “Assuming I can’t talk Jane out of it, I mean.”

Clint took a step forward and hooked one of the stools out from beneath the lip of the island, seating himself on it.  He had an oddly intent look on his face, like he was measuring her, or something, but he was some sort of secret agent. That sort of behavior probably came with the territory.  “So you’re Darcy.  Thor speaks very highly of you,” Clint told her, “and I know he’s been talking about discussing a move with Jane for a while. You don’t want to live here?  With all the superheroes and cool gadgets – “

“And weird magic and alien invasions?”  Since it looked like he was settling in, she grabbed a seat too, snagging an apple from the bowl between them in the middle of the island.  “I mean, I was there for the New Mexico thing, and the London thing, and the Saskatchewan thing, so magic and aliens and sentient tree-things aren’t exactly new,” she explained, picking at the stem and studiously avoiding his eyes, “but they’re not really normal either, and I’m just not sure I want them to become my new ‘normal.’”

He nodded in understanding, “I get it, I do.  Have you looked for other work?”

She shrugged, then tried not to jump when the cat – Natasha(?) – was suddenly at her elbow, sitting not six inches away.  “I have,” she said slowly, side-eyeing the cat, “but not seriously.  I don’t actually want to leave Jane. I like working with her, it’s fun and it’s interesting, and she’s doing good work that matters, you know?”

“I know,” Clint said solemnly, and, well of course he did.  He was an Avenger.

“Anyways,” Darcy shrugged, “It’s not set in stone yet.  I’m gonna work on talking Jane out of it.  I’ve got till you guys catch Loki, right?”

“Right,” he said, nodding slowly.

The cat stood, the tip of her tail twitching back and forth, and crossed over to him.  The duo engaged in a brief stare down, and then the cat was climbing onto Clint’s shoulder, settling down with a satisfied-sounding, “Mrrr.”

“So,” Clint said, turning his focus back to Darcy, “that means we’ve got just as long to convince you to stay.”

“… What?”

He got up, one hand lifting to brace the cat in case she lost her balance (highly unlikely since 1) she was a cat, and 2) she was Natasha Romanov). “We’ll try and show you the normal, not-crazy side of the Tower so that, even if you can’t convince Jane to change her mind, you won’t have so many reservations about living here.”

Darcy stared at him.  “You and the recently-a-human feline,” she said slowly, “are going to convince me that this place isn’t crazy?”

“We’re gonna try.”

The cat started purring.

“Why?” Darcy asked, suspicious.  “I mean… no, I really just mean the ‘why.’”

He smiled amiably, “Maybe we just need something constructive to do while we wait for the magic to wear off.”  With that, he turned and left the kitchen.

She stared after them. “This place is so weird.”

#amuse writes stuff #darcy lewis #natasha romanov #darcy x natasha #darcyland autumn revival 2019 #kicking things off with a darcy x natasha soulmate au #which may actually be clint x darcy x natasha poly au in disguise #why yes darcy's words to nat have been a trial for most of nat's life #and yes i figured out the words before the story #nat's words to darcy will be more normal i promise #part two will be up this afternoon

[amusewithaview]

Or possibly Darcy/Clint Nutmeg?

Darcy’s only warning was the brief light that flared in Thor’s eyes before he spun her out to a flourish in the music - and directly into someone else’s arms.  She shook her head, body automatically sinking into the familiar warmth, and glared up at her new partner. “I thought you’d sworn off attending anymore Stark shindigs?”

Clint’s answering smile was more a grimace. “Yeah, well, that was before Nat sent me a snap of you in this dress.”

“You like?”

“It looks great on you.”

Darcy waited until they had a little distance from the other couples on the floor, then went up on her toes. “You’re picturing it on your bedroom floor, aren’t you?”

The look Clint shot her in response was equal parts heat and chagrin.

“Now the real question is, are you picturing me on your bedroom floor? Or the couch? Or the-”

“Keep that up and I’ll be seeing you up against the coatroom wall.”

“Promises, promises.”

#amuse writes stuff #promptkinspice #darcy lewis #clint barton #clint x darcy #please picture Clint with a slightly wrinkled button up and no tie #wearing a suit jacket and pants that fit him expertly because he has them lying around #but he genuinely wasn't planning on attending till nat sabotaged his self control

[amusewithaview]

So that’s two angry flashbacks and two encouragements to write more “Darcy smells like breakfast/Steve smells like coffee.”

Let me get through the spice prompts first and then I will see what I can do.

It'd be wonderful if you would continue the omega Darcy x alpha Steve ficmagine thingy 🙏🙏🙏🥺🥺🥺

…which one?  There are, like, eight(teen).

No but seriously, you gotta give me the specifics.

#u mad #steve and the mysterious omega who literally smells like breakfast #bahahahaha #that one fic #there is only one THAT ONE FIC in my repertoir

[amusewithaview]

Darcy/Bucky Allspice, or Darcy/Steve Cloves?

"You know, Thor, when you told us who all else was gonna be at the Tower, it would have been real nice if you’d mentioned another werewolf,” Darcy said, using the god as a shield between her and the enormous werewolf who had met them on the landing pad.

“In truth, I did not realize another of Fenrir’s kin called this place home.”

“Wait wait wait,” Stark broke in. “Werewolves? You’re kid-” His incredulous exclamation was cut off by yet another basso growl emanating from the shaggy-haired brunet to his left. Stark glanced from the man to Thor and back again. “You’re not kidding. That’s a thing? How did I not know that was a thing?”

“We keep to ourselves, mostly. Try not to draw too much attention.”

The growl cut off into a groan and the man staggered forward, grabbing at his head. “I don’t - I’ve never-” he trailed off into incomprehensible Russian, causing Thor to stiffen.

“Ah,” he said. “That would explain my ignorance. You did not know either.”

“Wait, what?” Darcy said, edging out from behind Thor. The new dude was emanating distress instead of aggression, still grabbing at his own head. “You didn’t know? How could you not know!”

“Freeziepop has only been out of the ice for a bit, and they removed a helluva lot of hardware and chem implants last week,” Stark mused. “There’s a full moon in three days, should we be stocking up on silver?”

Darcy eyed the strange wolf. “Nah, that would just make him mad.”

Jane broke in with obvious reluctance. “Darcy...”

“No.”

“I really think-”

“Not an option, Janey.”

“Well, what other options do we have?”

Darcy’s shoulders slumped. “Fine, I will call my mom, but YOU have to fend her off if she gets... weird about him.”

“Deal.”

#amuse writes stuff #promptkinspice #darcy lewis #bucky barnes #bucky x darcy eventually #darcy is a werewolf #bucky is a werewolf #bucky did not know this becayse hydra #the allspice prompt says fragrant and we're nearing halloween so yeah shapeshifters #darcy's mom is the leader of a pack #darcy is a lone wolf #darcy is not gonna be so lone anymore

[amusewithaview]

Promptkin Spice: Garam Masala + Darcy/Johnny Storm

“Stop twitching!”

“How long are you gonna ask me to stand here,” Johnny asked impatiently. The cute brunette assistant had made him stop moments after he got into the lab and she was doing something behind him - he guessed taking measurements of some sort - but wouldn’t say what.

“Almost got it... okay, yeah, done. Thanks!”

Johnny turned to find the assistant putting the final touches on a s’more. “You’re kidding,” he said flatly.

“I never kid about ooey-gooey mallows,” she said, not even giving him the courtesy of looking at him. She took a phone out and snapped a picture. “This is totally going on my Insta,” she murmured, ignoring his continued presence. After a second she looked up. “I’m all good, hotshot, I only wanted the one, and your sister is probably wondering where you are.”

“You know,” he said as he watched her take a healthy bite of mallow, chocolate, and graham, “most women at least take me out to dinner before using me for my body.”

“I only needed you for like a minute, tops, that’s - what - twice as long as ‘most women’ get, right?” she asked. She smirked at his slack-jawed face and sauntered away.

“...I think I’m gonna marry that woman.”

#amuse writes stuff #promptkinspice #darcy lewis #johnny storm #darcy x johnny #darcy roasts a mallow on johnny and then roasts johnny #ooh burned #and other such flame based puns

[amusewithaview]

to get you back into a darcy headspace...how about: darcy x sam wilson + Coriander (warm and bright)

The first time Sam brings Darcy tea she squints at him, but says thanks.

The second time, she pauses in her work on her dissertation [The Politics of Powers: Superheroes and Social Reform in the Early 22nd Century]. “I haven’t even gotten to Cap yet, you know,” she says.

“Oh?”

“Yeah. You don’t need to butter me up, I’ll probably say nice things about you.”

“Probably?” he says, rocking back on his heels and placing a hand over his heart. “That’s cold.”

“Mmhm,” she says, eyeing him while she sips at the tea. “That’s academia. No tea is worth compromising my objectivity.”

“What if I told you I don’t want your work on Steve?”

“I’m listening.”

“A little birdy-”

“You’re not getting my commentary on Hawkeye or SHIELD, either.”

Sam grinned and continued, “-a little birdy told me you were thinking about writing up the bug squad and their counter-terrorist reallocation of scientific experiments.”

She gave a one shoulder shrug. “It serves as a nice counterpoint to the early Iron Man activities, what of it - oh. Oh right. I almost forgot - you met Scott first.”

Sam pursed his lips. “In a manner of speaking.”

“And you lost to the Ant.”

“’Lost’ is such a strong -”

“Tell you what. You start bringing me coffee, and I’ll let you look at that chapter before I send it in for final edits. I won’t change anything, but you’ll have forewarning.”

#amuse writes stuff #promptkinspice #darcy lewis #sam wilson #darcy x sam (eventual) #sam shows up in her dissertation in three places #but he's proudest of the dedication #because it says something nice about how he kept her in coffee and tea (and kisses) #his mom is proud of him for landing a smart one #darcy's dad is glad that of all the superheroes she could date at least this one can FLY after jumping off of or out of tall things #which is more than can be said for bucky or steve or tony or clint or nat or-

[amusewithaview]

@typhoidmeri - Yes! That’s the coffee one where Steve has to take Darcy back to her room because she’s sleepwalking and having caffeine withdrawal. I could deffo do a continuation of that one - yes/no?

It'd be wonderful if you would continue the omega Darcy x alpha Steve ficmagine thingy 🙏🙏🙏🥺🥺🥺

…which one?  There are, like, eight(teen).

No but seriously, you gotta give me the specifics.

#steve and the mysterious omega who literally smells like breakfast #and there’s no way for him to say that which doesn’t sound like a come on #steve’s life is hard #sam has no sympathy #asking jarvis would be CHEATING

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@phoenix-173 - to be honest, anytime anyone references “that one fic” in those words I assume they mean the soulmate oneshot where Darcy meets Bucky while he’s putting pressure on her gut wound...

It'd be wonderful if you would continue the omega Darcy x alpha Steve ficmagine thingy 🙏🙏🙏🥺🥺🥺

…which one?  There are, like, eight(teen).

No but seriously, you gotta give me the specifics.

#whoopsie #that time i traumatized everyone #not linking because then y’all will get mad again

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@belladonnaprice - the tricky bit there is that I genuinely do not recall them all and hunting them down might take longer than writing a follow up.

It'd be wonderful if you would continue the omega Darcy x alpha Steve ficmagine thingy 🙏🙏🙏🥺🥺🥺

…which one?  There are, like, eight(teen).

No but seriously, you gotta give me the specifics.

#i may have written too much fic #i have like 40k+ of fic on my laptop that hasn’t been published anywhere and its all Darcy

[amusewithaview]

Darcy-su-namun. Allspice or cayenne

Darcy was rather haggard when she stumbled into Strange’s workshop. She leaned against a table and waited until he was done with...whatever it was that he had been engrossed in before she interrupted. She honestly didn’t care. Instead of trying to figure out what he was up to, she focused on not falling asleep. It was difficult, as she hadn’t managed more than four hours of rest in the last three days.

“How can I he- oh.”

Darcy glared. “Yeah, oh. I need something stronger for the dreams.”

Strange steepled his fingers and peered at her over them, brow furrowed in thought. “Have you considered allowing the dreams to reach their natural conclusion? It is interrupting them that is putting you in this...state.”

“‘Their natural conclusion?’“ she echoed incredulously. “Doc-” she scrubbed a hand over her face, then paused. “What, exactly, did you think I was dreaming about?”

“Your story is rather infamous,” he said. “I had assumed it was some form of revenge.”

“And you wanted me to try dying in my dreams?” Darcy asked, half incredulous and half genuinely curious what his thought process had been.

Strange rolled his eyes extravagantly, something that made him look a lot more like Tony than either man would be comfortable with. “Dying in your dreams does not translate to dying in real life, that is-”

“Pure fiction, yeah, I’m aware.” She sighed and stood up straight. “They’re not revenge dreams. I don’t know what you think you know about my ‘story,’ but it’s not... like that.”

“Then enlighten me, Ms. Lewis,” he said.

She scowled. “My ex is sending me explicit sex dreams but he’s not letting them reach their natural ‘conclusion.’“

Strange blinked twice, a faint flush rising on his cheekbones. “Sex dreams?”

“With no climax, yeah.”

“And...you desire my assistance...?”

“With BLOCKING the dreams!”

“Ah, well. I might have something around here. And... thank you for the warning that your ex is back.  Do you know-”

“Pretty sure he reincarnated. No, I don’t know if he’s still all end-the-world.” Darcy smiled wryly, “Signs point to ‘no.’“

#amuse writes stuff #promptkinspice #darcy-su-namun #darcy lewis #dr. strange #darcy x imhotep #imhotep is sending darcy sexy dreams #sex dream edging because he's not letting her orgasm #darcy is VERY REASONABLY tired of this #dr. strange is awkward #also i swear i need to write something where he and tony are related because it would make SENSE damnit