antigonick

antigonick

ATRIUM VESTAE

Pauline — FAQ, insta.

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Furby, that creepy 1990's doll, has a tumblr page.

antigonick·8 hours agoQuote
Jonathan Sims, “Binary [MAG065]”, for The Magnus Archives
That’s what’s terrifying, isn’t it? Your mind is all you are, there’s no backup, or you know, reset, if it goes. I’m not just talking about madness as it appears, but what it is from inside. The way people talk about it, it’s like you have to think you’re saying that our mind is everything we perceive, everything we are. That means you can never know when your grasp might be slipping. I’m not convinced that’s it, though.

Or maybe deep down somewhere inside, you understand what’s happening to you and—no. I am, I don’t know which scares me more.
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antigonick·a day agoText

unitedrussia:

I love thinkung how stupid sidestep actually is. The moment they cant read someones mind they die immediately. Completely useless. “Uhhh cant read ricardos mind, must be because he doesnt have any thoughts haha dumbass”, “cant catch steels thoughts? Its not his mental shields its because hes a robot, case closed”, “herald seems to have only one emotion, ok imma not gonna investigate further, i bet hes a dumbass as well”. 200 IQ

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antigonick·2 days agoAnswer
Thank you for taking the time to answer my question about Tolkien/Lord of the Rings! Although I'm extremely saddened that we disagree so drastically on the topic (since I do admire you, greatly but secretly, from afar), I completely understand your point of view as well and have heard similar opinions expressed from many pals of mine who I've tried (relentlessly, fruitlessly) to force the book onto. Apparently coercion has a low success rate. Who would've thought? I appreciate your opinion!!

My pleasure! Don’t be saddened, though—it’s usually tickling and very instructive to have different opinions and different degrees of knowledge and interests from people you enjoy interacting with, isn’t it? Lots to learn, lots to debate about, lots to understand about the other person by listening to what they latch onto about a specific subject. 

I don’t think I ever learn more and more warmly than when listening to friends talking about what they’re passionate about, or probing my own opinions.

Also yes. “Coercion” (I’m not a subtle lass: I call it big old plain bullying) usually doesn’t work if the victim is not already positively inclined. Why wouldn’t they read the integrality of Jane Austen’s novels in their fully annotated version and then discuss it with me for six months? she asked in disbelief. Because nobody cares that much about the landed gentry’s shenanigans, Pauline.

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antigonick·2 days agoAnswer
Would you mind telling us what the conference is about? It sounds very interesting (okay I’m a nerd about academia). Wishing you the best of luck!

Sure! It’s actually not a cool-themed conference with lots of aspects and speakers this time. I’m taking part in a research exchange between my university and the one I’ve been invited to, and part of that is presenting my research to the department. So… it’ll be just me talking about translation, experimental poetry, creation-based (empirical) research and Anne Carson. It’s a bit vague, but the summary is in French and slightly delirious, so I’ll… spare you that.

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antigonick·2 days agoAnswer
Hey! :) I really want to do a PhD and am wondering how you got to do yours (like the progress of applying; financing, etc). If it’s too personal I can totally understand (if this is the case: sorry that I asked). Good luck with your PhD! :)

Hi! Not too personal at all, don’t worry, but keep in mind that I’m doing mine in France and in literature/translation studies—the process varies wildly from department to department, and from country to country. I’m also not funded, so my “financing” is me working two to three jobs on the side. I think funding is more streamlined and more frequent in the US/UK, though registration is so expensive that I should hope people get funded more easily.

In my experience, going for a research-focused masters (MSc) specialised in the field you’re interested in is one way to have a solid “starter” application file. I’m sure there are others, but I don’t know about them. Grades weigh heavily in the balance too: the PhD programmes I was interested in all required a distinction for the overall MSc grade and for the masters’ dissertation. During the second semester of my MSc, I wrote my PhD proposal (the research project). Nobody expects you to know everything there is to know about your subject at this point, and feeling like you’re grasping at straws or you’re feeling your way around in the dark is perfectly normal. You’re asking, not answering. Don’t go into a research project with a clear idea of what you want to “discover”;  your hypothesis is not supposed to be an end, but a stepping stone to further reflexions that will come in time. What is important is showing the solid knowledge on which you’re basing your ideas, and in which direction you want to go from there. And of course, the exercise is a way to prove that your writing is solid, and your method and research abilities are sound. 

Anyway. When your PhD proposal is all neat and complete (you can find advice and outline templates online), you can send it to the advisor you’ve had your eye on. If you’re planning on staying with your alma mater, chances are, you already know the teacher you’ll want to target, and it’s usually easier because they can help and guide you. If not, you have to explore PhD programmes in other universities and deep-dive on their research advisors profiles in order to find those with whom you share research interests and specialisations, so that they will 1. be interested in taking you under their wing; 2. be constructive throughout your research. This actually went surprisingly smoothly for me, but contacting several people and having to defend your project is very common, so be sure that your proposal is solid and engaging. 

I think applying for funding happens at this moment in the timeline (or even earlier), at least in the UK. 

When you’ve secured your advisor, you’re finally ready to apply to the programme of your choice. Your project, student file (bachelor + masters + masters’ dissertation), and advisors’ recommendation letter will all be taken into account by a jury. Then you get in, and that’s that.

I think that’s the gist of it? Don’t hesitate to ask if you have other questions. And good luck, of course!

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antigonick·3 days agoAnswer
Do you watch much tv? I know there’s plenty of literature to keep you busy, but if I may recommend one show, I think you might enjoy The OA. It’s got lots of layers ripe for analysis!

I… like having (repetitive) background noise but I don’t actively watch a lot of TV, I guess. This might or might not mean that I just let the integrality of Brooklyn Nine-Nine run its course again and again while I’m doing other stuff. Although I will hunt down and binge-watch any baking show with alarming intensity.

And yes! Thank you! People have recommended the OA to me a few times already, I don’t know why I haven’t gotten to it. It’s on my elusive list! 

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antigonick·3 days agoQuote
Jonathan Sims, “Binary [MAG065]”, for The Magnus Archives
I suppose it isn’t language, not really, because, because language as we use it is about as far from digital as you can get. We may call them words, but, the units of data that a computer works with are by their nature discrete and definite, while the words we use are clumsy, vague things, always at the whim of interpretation and decay.

It’s the obvious thing to say, that a computer cannot feel, but it’s true. No sequence of distinct ones and zeros can replicate the swirling cocktail of chemicals and, and, you know, nerves that is a human being. Or any other animal for that matter. Nothing about humanity is binary.
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antigonick·4 days agoQuote
Georgette Heyer, Sylvester or The Wicked Uncle
—her own joyless existence was lightened by excursions into a world of pure make believe—
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antigonick·4 days agoQuote
Jonathan Sims, “Fatigue [MAG074]”, for The Magnus Archives
So much of what we see and hear are just useful lies that our brain tells us, filtering out the useless bits and adding in what it expects to see. No-one ever knows what they’re really seeing or hearing.
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antigonick·4 days agoAnswer
I love your thoughts on Tolkien because I thought the exact same thing!! I thought he wrote beautifully about middle earth and the scenery and it genuinely felt like another character in the book almost?. What I HATED was how slow paced it was and like... I genuinely did the exact same thing with counting the pages. I stopped reading in the supposedly most interesting part of the book (Frodo and Sam going up the mountain) and didn’t regret it. RIP the time I’ll never get back

Oh-oh-oh, Tolkien trash-talk is happening. 
(about this post).

To be fair, I usually like slow-paced. I was so young I don’t really remember what exactly didn’t do it for me in the rhythm, but if I had to guess, I’d say my tolerance for slow-pacing is tied to the characters and the society they evolve in—behavioural details, slow character development, delving into thoughts and communication and perceptions. And it’s just not what LoTR is about. 

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antigonick·5 days agoAnswer
Hi Pauline! I was wondering if you've ever read The Lord of the Rings (or any of Tolkien's other works), and if you have, what your opinion is on it? And if you haven't, why not? (Not that you're obligated to read anything, of course—just curious if there's a reason as to why!) I searched your tags and nothing came up for this book. It's one of my favorites, and you and I seem to have similar book tastes, so I'm just very interested (and nosy!). I sincerely hope you have a great day.

Hey there! Alright, so I guess it’s controversial opinion time. I did read Lord of the Rings, in French, when I was a kid. It bored me horribly. I remember counting the pages I still had to plough through. I remember gritting my teeth at Arwen. I remember finishing it because they (was it my dad?) had told me it was too difficult and too long for my age, and of course, that had made it personal. 

Then, getting older, the sheer peer pressure to watch the movies and worship Tolkien that comes from having fantasy lovers as friends and family made me hate it as a matter of principle. I’m less irrational about it nowadays—although I do like to throw fuel on the fire now and again just to watch some of my favourite people go absolutely rabid with self-righteous anger. 

I’ve encountered countless English excerpts of Tolkien’s works by now, and though I’m still not particularly impressed with his writing style and most of his characters, I can appreciate the prowess and intricacy of his world-building. I like the story of his worlds’ creation. I’m aware and casually interested in his references and the scope of his own influence, far beyond literature. I find the involvement of his son and the clean, youthful wonder that pervades his works endearing. And that’s about it. 

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antigonick·5 days agoQuote
Jonathan Sims, “The End of the Tunnel [MAG063]”, for The Magnus Archives
He kept clicking the switches, on and on, and I could feel his desperation, but we were still trapped in the pitch-black.

Eventually, he stopped, and we just stood there. I wanted to say something reassuring, to reach out and let him know I was still there, but I was terrified of breaking the silence. There was just his breathing, labored and scared. I became aware of my own breath: quick, and betraying the panic I was trying to pretend I wasn’t feeling.

And then I heard it: the third set of breathing. It was quiet, at first, long and slow, and very deliberate. The more I listened, the louder it seemed to become, as though whoever was down here with us was making sure we could hear it. And then another set of breaths joined it, deep and throaty. And a fifth—a sixth—then more. We were surrounded on all sides by the sound of breathing, getting louder, getting closer.
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antigonick·6 days agoQuote
Georgette Heyer, Sylvester or The Wicked Uncle
It was strange how the dullest party could be enjoyed because there was one person present whose eyes could be met for the fraction of a second, in wordless appreciation of a joke unshared by others: almost as strange as the insipidity of parties at which that person was not present.
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antigonick·6 days agoQuote
Jonathan Sims, “Hive [MAG032]”, for The Magnus Archives
You must understand, it sings so sweetly, and I need it, but I am afraid. It isn’t right and I need help. I need it to be seen. To be seen in the cold light of knowledge is anathema to the things that crawl and slither and swarm in the corners and the cracks.
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