asgard-nine-nine

[asgard-nine-nine]

Loki: Ok, this is what I learned and I think you're gonna go crazy for it. There are three cans of shaving cream in here and there's two cans of hairspray. If we just switch those nozzles, we can cause some serious mischief.

#norse mythology #loki #source: space force

[asgard-nine-nine]

Sif: Oh no, why hasn't he texted back? Did I say something wrong?

Thor: (frantically googling "how to spell georgus")

#norse mythology #sif #thor #source: tiktok

[asgard-nine-nine]

Odin: Hello, everyone. Good to see you all here, mingling around with your various secrets. Who really knows which of you are who you say you are? No way to know unless I pull your skeletons out, right? Ok. Take her easy.

#norse mythology #odin #source: the good place

[asgard-nine-nine]

Odin: Can I say something? I know I'm in the doghouse--

Frige: Oh, you're not in the doghouse.

Odin: I'm not?

Frige: No, you're going to have to work really hard to get into the doghouse.

Odin: Ok, so I'm in the yard, which is still an enclosed area...

Frige: ...

Odin: ...unless I'm in the pound. Frige, am I in the pound? Where's Loki, is he in the pound with me?

Loki: Why do I have to be in the pound?

Odin: So we can get adopted together like two inseperable little puppies!

Loki: I don't want to be in the pound, Odin!

Frige: Guys!

Odin and Loki: Sorry, Frige.

#norse mythology #odin #frige #loki #source: TBA

[asgard-nine-nine]

Idunn: I have roughly four brain cells and none of them are used for anything useful.

Bragi: Idunn, as an adult, you have roughly 100 billion brain cells. However, while your statement is factually inaccurate, it is a huge fucking mood.

#idunn #bragi #source: tumblr

[asgard-nine-nine]

Odin: We're gonna have to cut him loose.

Thor: What, you mean kill him?

Odin: I was thinking more, deleting him from out Whatsapp group.

#norse mythology #odin #thor #source: the other one

[asgard-nine-nine]

Odin: If I was a ghost, I would be so pissed if I ended up haunting a place for a thousand years. Those local kids should've solved my puzzle by then.

#norse mythology #odin #source: my brother my brother and me

[asgard-nine-nine]

Odin: You never want your kids to see you scared. You want to be that rock they can hold onto in a stormy sea. Well, a rock would sink, so a floating rock. Let's start over. It's windy, and you have a lot of papers.

#norse mythology #odin #source: modern family

[asgard-nine-nine]

Sif: Sorry I left early. I had some lady problems.

Thor: Aw damn, which lady? You want me to talk to the bitch?

#sif #thor #source: tumblr

[asgard-nine-nine]

Sigyn: Dancing queen... Feel the meat on the tangerine...

Loki: Dancing queen... Eating Chinese with Mr Bean...

#norse mythology #sigyn #loki #source: peter kay

[asgard-nine-nine]

Nanna: I would die for you.

Baldr: I would die for you first.

Frige: NO ONE HERE IS DYING!

#nanna #baldr #frige #source: TBA

[asgard-nine-nine]

Loki: What are you doing?

Thor: Looking for something to break the door down with.

Loki: Ok, well I'm gonna look for a key, because I'm smarter.

Thor: Sure, but I get to hit stuff.

Loki: ...Crap.

#norse mythology #loki #thor #source: night in the woods

[asgard-nine-nine]

Loki: So, just found out that the world doesn't actually revolve around me. Bit fucking pissed off about it.

#norse mythology #loki #source: tiktok

[asgard-nine-nine]

Frige: He gets... flashbacks.

Odin: What are you telling them? I do not get flashbacks. I remember bad things vividly.

#norse mythology #frige #odin #source: starkid #source: black friday

[asgard-nine-nine]

Baldr: And now you're a big strong boy.

Thor: I'm a huge man.

#norse mythology #baldr #thor #source: my brother my brother and me

[asgard-nine-nine]

Loki: Do you or do you not still have me saved as "Odin's weird friend" in your phone?

Frige: ...Your hair looks nice today.

Loki: Answer the question.

#norse mythology #loki #frige #odin #Source: TBA

[asgard-nine-nine]

Tyr: Me and the boys made Guy Scouts and we are thriving. I just got a badge for having too many HDMI cables and Baldr got a badge for emotional honesty.

#tyr #baldr #source: twitter