Just some thoughts on turning twenty.
Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice (the fact twenty-one is the cut off, the time when women must become self-conscious of their age. It’s a different time, sure, but it’s still strange to be on this precipice...), Mitski, ‘Class of 2013′, extract of a poem I wrote (tormented by how birthdays sometimes seem an endurance test, it is a miracle to still be alive, to have outlived others, the privilege of growing up and growing old, and yet it is all so exhausting to know you still have decades of life to get through, joy and pain, etc.), Unknown seventeenth-century painter from the Veneto, Portrait of Angela Adorni Sbardellini, Prioress of the Zitelle (I like the contrast between her and her costume, the complicated creases and folds vs her still young face, she seems a girl peeking out of an adult body), Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals, Florence + the Machine, ‘Free’, picture of Marilyn Monroe at twenty, Luke Hemmings, ‘Diamonds’
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I can't keep it in anymore... they quoted Taylor swift in my Shakespeare exam 😭
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The right spot for today
#pascalcampion
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Alexander Tkachev - Two on the Road 1980.
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“Everyone stands here alone.
I tell you the gods are still alive
And they are not consoling”
-May Sarton
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Taylor Swift, All Too Well (Ten Minute Version) (Taylor's Version) / Pascal Campion, Time after time
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Lovely trip to Lacock today.
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oh, i am finally old enough to know why my parents took so long to grab their coats. why they would ask us to get ready to go only to sit down for another round of coffee. what would i tell myself, at 10 years old? it’s okay. sit down with them too. take in the extra hour with your friend and her family. when you get home, write down every moment in your diary. one day you will be older and you will be waving goodbye to your best friend, and you will turn the key to start your beat up little car engine, and you will look back over your shoulder. her hair will be blowing in the wind and she will be beautiful and you will be, for a moment, struck by all of it. what you will feel is so wide and nameless that it will engulf you. and you will think of being 14 and kicking her under the table in math every time you wanted to whisper something behind the teacher’s back. you will think about how long the days felt, and how you could hold her hand whenever you wished, but you didn’t. and you will think about all of the people you could have lingered with. and you will wish, more than you have ever felt a wish, that the universe just gave you that - more time to linger. more time to say - i love you. i know i need to leave, but i don’t want to leave you. and when i go, i am leaving a piece of my heart that lingers too.
one more round of coffee. the days are so short, and you are so lovely.
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i love how different the sea looks at certain moments
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Scent bottle (18th century) enamelled decoration with the motto ‘Tout pour vous’ (All for you).
Image and text courtesy MFA Boston.
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I'm so used to giving and now I get to receive 😭
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Second hand bookshop haul 📚
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Reading books all day is all my younger self wanted for me so I hope she's pleased with my adult life
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The point of reading isn't just consume tropes 🙄 it's to log every book you read at your local librarys summer reading program making you eligible for fun prizes and an end of the summer pizza party
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Ignoring my reading list to indulge my terminal addiction to detective fiction
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