Hi, I saw your post while browsing Christian tags on here. It looks like an older post, so I hope it’s ok to reply.
Sorry you are having trouble feeling joy in your faith. I hope this helps and isn’t too long. This will probably sound simple, It’s the “old old story” but it’s good to remember, and hearing it from others, even though I know it myself, gives me joy.
Joy as a Christian doesn’t come from safety from Hell, being involved in ministry, doing good works, or being liked, (though it is important to be in a Bible believing church and helpful to have close Christian friends.) It comes from knowing the depth and beauty of who God is, and what he has done for you. In order to know what God has done for us, we need to know what we are.
We, human beings, are sinners (We are evil in nature) Even if we appear good to others and ourselves, we are evil beyond measure.
I grew up in church, I’ve believed in Jesus my whole life, I have never murdered, I’m honest for the most part, most people who know me view me as good and kind. “Innocent” I was called by a friend just the other day. But if I dare to look just under the surface of my outer self, I find evil, even disturbing evil. Evil thoughts and desires that I would never carry out, but are still there nonetheless. Filthy things. Evil, Hate, gross immorality, and darkness.
God is Holy. He is “light, and In him is no darkness at all”. He is good, He is love, He is righteous, he is light. The exact opposite of what we are. He is also just, and a just judge, and our evil has consequences, death. We deserve death, and in our fallen state, we are dead spiritually already. Being dead we don’t even have the power to ask God for help by ourselves. A dead thing can’t can’t yell or wave its arms or beg for mercy. Being evil, we do not deserve anything from God but a verdict of guilty, and to be forever banished from his presence, where there will be “weeping and gnashing of teeth” Basically, being apart from God forever will be a miserable existence. It’s not the fire that people are so afraid of that we should be worried about, but being cut off from God, who is the source of all good things. Love, Joy, Peace, etc..
God is Love and loves us. he desires to show us mercy and to dwell with us and to call us His. But because He is also Just, he cannot let evil go unpunished. The punishment for our sin, our evil, is death, “the wages of Sin is death.” death will destroy us. death will separate us from God forever. What is the solution for this problem? Grace. This is where Jesus comes in.
I love the first chapter of John. It is long, Sorry, but it so eloquently describes who Jesus is:
“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made. In him was life, and the life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. There was a man sent from God, whose name was John. He came as a witness, to bear witness about the light, that all might believe through him. He was not the light, but came to bear witness about the light. The true light, which gives light to everyone, was coming into the world. He was in the world, and the world was made through him, yet the world did not know him. He came to his own, and his own people did not receive him. But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God, who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God. And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth. (John bore witness about him, and cried out, “This was he of whom I said, ‘He who comes after me ranks before me, because he was before me.’”) For from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace. For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ. No one has ever seen God; the only God, who is at the Father’s side, he has made him known.”
John 1:1-18 ESV
https://bible.com/bible/59/jhn.1.12.ESV
Jesus is God. The Son, specifically. There is One God in 3 persons, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. That’s a little complex to explain fully here, but it’s important to know. To understand the Gospel, “Good News” we need to understand that Jesus wasn’t just a man. He wasn’t a created being. He is fully God and fully man. He is Eternal God, Creator, and Ruler of all.
The glory of the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus is the joy of a Christian, because that is why we are able to know God, rather than be condemned by Him. Why we have life instead of death. That is How the mercy and justice of God, which would be in conflict any other way, embrace.
That God the Son, Author of life, equal to the Father, eternal, perfect and complete as he was, would take on a human body, be born, grow, and live among us as a man, human in every way, yet still fully God, knowing he would suffer rejection even though he was ruler and maker of all; how he would take the punishment for the evil that I committed against God, against Him, the beautiful irony that the one offended by my actions would take the punishment for those offenses, and pay the price, because I could not bear it without being destroyed; how the weight of the sin of the whole world and the death we deserved could not destroy Him, but He destroyed it by His infinite goodness; that He turned the tragedy of death into the victory of eternal life for all who believe by His resurrection, that He makes those who surrender to him by his grace alive and his forever by giving us His own Spirit to live in us, the 3rd person of the Trinity, the Holy Spirit, God, literally lives in us! That is the Joy of a Christian, not merely fire insurance, but God with us, his Spirit in us, his righteousness made ours, His life made our life. We were dead, worn, nameless, and lost. He made us alive, new His, and made His home with us.
“For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
Romans 6:23 ESV
https://bible.com/bible/59/rom.6.23.ESV
There is nothing that gives me more joy than this, and I hope it encourages you.
Do any other Christians struggle with not feeling joy, an urge to get to know Christ, or just not feeling anything at all?
When I think of hell I get scared. I don't want to go there. Id like to go to heaven, my mom is there. I know she's there.
But I just don't feel good or anything really when going to church or reading the bible. I used to when I was younger and unsaved, funnily enough.
But I don't really feel this joy of Christ I'm supposed to feel. I don't feel like reading the bible. I don't really feel like memorizing scripture like I used to. I don't feel like I fit in at church, I never have. I feel like an outsider. My 'friend's were all public schooled and did sports and very social. I wasn't and I felt like an outcast. Now that I'm older and working with the youth (or I was anyways until drama happened) I still feel like I'm some annoying little kid who wants to be in everything, even tho I'm the oldest one there besides the leaders.
Other then not going to hell, I just don't see the point in any of this anymore. In person at my current church at least.
My friend group who are homeschooled and also Christians I feel some thing I would like to call feeling like family. I think this is what people mean when they say we are brothers in sisters in Christ. Even though we're all different denominations. I feel good around them.
But life goes on and were growing apart. I feel lost. Someone tell me why I feel like nothing I do I church matters.
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