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They should pay me to sort objects by color and shape and size all day I'd be good at it I'd be so fucking good at it

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my friend was testing perfumes out at the store and she sniffed a bottle and anounced "ngl this bitch kind of sucks" The girl at the counter suddenly looked really sad, and my friend was like "I'm sorry, I wasn't talking about you." And the girl looked up and said "No don't worry, I didn't think that, but I just crushed a ladybug with my shoe" We both took a peak over the counter. she'd stepped on a red m&m

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if I ever met Ryan Gosling I would be like omg Ryan I loved you in hey girl I mean they

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People who fuck around on their laptops during lectures are so important I'm watching someone in front of me play tetris online enraptured

#nsfw text

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All my haters become craters when I hit them with the meteorite

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this grave keeper edible aint shit

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just got called out of work and I got so excited I put clothes on my dog

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how come sometimes when i am scrolling tumblr decides to force my phone to full brightness

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Therian mask from October that i apparently never posted

#my art

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Customer: MY DAD LOVES ME AND GOT ME A NEW CAR DMV: PP AS IN URINE Verdict: DENIED

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brutalist candy cane

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New zine that's free for anyone to print and distribute! Read the whole thing at newlevant.com/COVIDzine or in the rest of this post.

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spiders have got to figure out contracting I need to be able to call my local spiders union and be like "hey can you send a guy out for a few days the fruit flies are back" and then pay it in spider currency. I'll learn the conversion rates. I'll be generous with my rounding. please.

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yiké

just don’t do that

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The truth is out there.