dainaella

[dainaella]

So I need to get this out, even if no one sees or reads this. For six years, I struggled to eat. My body physically couldn’t do it. I had six surgeries and scars all up and down my abdomen from them, which I’m actually totally okay with, I posted a pic below. At my sickest I weighed 115 lbs at 5’8. I was a skeleton, which I posted a pic of, with the canula. I remember the day I stopped walking, paused, and realized “oh my gosh. I have a thigh gap.” And that made me so unhappy. I became what “everyone wanted”. Skinny, thigh gap, pretty face, and despite being “gorgeous”, I was absolutely miserable and in extreme pain every day, every meal. I got a feeding tube soon afterward which hurt every second I had it in me.

On November 26th of last year, I had an auto-kidney transplant which was the final key to making me able to eat (that’s the pic of me with fabulous hair in a hospital bed). Now I weigh 155 lbs and it’s a mixed bag. I’m so happy that I have fat now, I’m finally healthy and I can EAT, which I still marvel at; I even get happy at being hungry cause I know it’s not gonna hurt eating, but social media makes me feel like I’m this huge whale. Sure I’m pretty, but oh boy hun your waistline. A size ten? Excuse me, not okay. I notice every pound I gain, cause I was so skinny for so long. I use to call my ribs my personal xylophones as a way to try and stay positive and funny, which I did.

I recognize that this is an issue and I’m trying to alter my mindset with my body and body image. The @taylorswift Miss Americana actually really helped me start seeing my body as good, healthy. It’s gonna take time, lots of talking to other survivors of chronic illness and people with eating disorders, but it’s gonna be worth it. I know I can do it, I know I can accept my body for what it is. I can do this. I posted a picture of me now to show that I am okay. I am acceptable. So, thanks to everyone, and honestly thank you @taylorswift for helping me start accepting my body as it is. I’m learning to step into the daylight and let it go.

#POTS #MALS #ChronicIllness #TaylorSwift #missamericana #bodyimage #positivity #lookingup

[dainaella]

Guys, I’m scared. I’ve had six surgeries in the last six years to make it so I can eat without pain and for the past week I’ve been hurting after eating. I know it could just a bug in my system but it scares me: the what if. What could be wrong. I logically know it’s gonna be okay but I feel like crying, I’ve felt like this every night this week. I’m losing weight already. It’s probably nothing but it’s the what if.

[dainaella]

I get mystified by how this city screams your name

[dainaella]

All I say is I was enchanted to meet you...

untouchable like a distant diamond sky

#taylorswift enchanted #taylorswift #speaknow

[dainaella]

favorite ts lyrics: don’t blame me 

[dainaella]

This is me to the T.

We’re trained to say ‘sorry’. Yeah, we legitimately are. [insp]

[dainaella]

When someone says they haven’t voted for Taylor in the #iHeartAwards today yet… 

JK but here is your reminder 😹: http://iheartradio.com/awards

[dainaella]

I would be complex. I would be cool.

The Man - Live From Paris is out now! taylor.lnk.to/theman-lfp

[dainaella]

Magic

Madness

Heaven

Sin

#taylorswift #1989 #blankspace

[dainaella]

Story of my life

[dainaella]

Find out what you want, be that girl for a month...

#taylorswift #1989 #blankspace

[dainaella]

I have my first real date since my kidney transplant tomorrow and I’m nervous. He seems super kind and respectful.... I’m hoping this goes well. More news to follow.

[dainaella]

I’ve learned something new about myself! My hair is naturally wavy! And my skin isn’t oily! Being chronically ill and recovering from that has REALLY changed my body in more ways than one haha! https://www.instagram.com/p/B8u2iaYlg8quJBoVGn-bWZ8QPPr6Bsdve4BbJk0/?igshid=1037eqltz2tit

[dainaella]

🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻

Spread a little joy today

🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻

[dainaella]

@taylorswift @taylornation

Hi Taylor

My name is Dor I just graduated from my uni after 4 years 😊

You’re in my life for almost 12 years now and you inspire me ALOT . My final collection inspired by you. And it’s 113% FoR YoU ❤️ I worked all year on my collection making patterns prints embroidery and I did everything by myself they allowed us to use professionals but it was important to me that I’ll do everything by myself. it’d mean the world to me if you’d see it 🤞🏻

• The pics are from the graduation fashion show •

• This one is from the final try on the models •

I love you with my whole heart

Dor

@taylorswift @taylornation

[dainaella]

Miss Americana premiere look 💜

@taylorswift @taylornation

[dainaella]

I say casually in the car