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VERY IMPORTANT ADDITION

The Snail Joke Man. God bless you, Snail Joke Man

okay, so, basically, I decided to finally check out this ‘tiktok’ thing the kids have been talking about during the quarantine. Here are my favorite genres so far: 

The ‘never have I ever’ ones where it’s just one, very very specific event that obviously was obviously stressful to for the person to go through. And then when they are done describing the event, they smile and shrug all cute while putting down one finger. “Guilty!”

Describing _____ thing badly. 

That one dance where you touch your shoulders and wiggle, and people are using it to show off their cultures. 

The Vibe Check guy with the glasses and the green hair - you know the one.

getting educated by POC and learning how to be a better ally (sometimes this one happens with the person standing in front of a bathroom mirror holding random objects like a doll stroller or a lamp, for some reason???)

Covers of meme songs that have been rewritten to be about quarantine that hit way too close to home.

the ones where it’s just someone reading aloud internet posts with the music-y sounding voice filter

That good, good gay shit

The unsettlingly insightful ones about history or the economy that describe what’s happening in the world right now, why, and also the obstacles to fixing those problems and how those obstacles can be overcome - somehow presenting a nuanced argument in less than a minute???

That one guy who does the DIY women’s clothing hacks

And I think my most favoritest thing is that that is pretty much the exact order that they appear on on my For You page. Like. The whiplash. That’s like 70% of the experience. 

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WE HAVE TO MAKE THIS HAPPEN

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okay, so, basically, I decided to finally check out this ‘tiktok’ thing the kids have been talking about during the quarantine. Here are my favorite genres so far: 

The ‘never have I ever’ ones where it’s just one, very very specific event that obviously was obviously stressful to for the person to go through. And then when they are done describing the event, they smile and shrug all cute while putting down one finger. “Guilty!”

Describing _____ thing badly. 

That one dance where you touch your shoulders and wiggle, and people are using it to show off their cultures. 

The Vibe Check guy with the glasses and the green hair - you know the one.

getting educated by POC and learning how to be a better ally (sometimes this one happens with the person standing in front of a bathroom mirror holding random objects like a doll stroller or a lamp, for some reason???)

Covers of meme songs that have been rewritten to be about quarantine that hit way too close to home.

the ones where it’s just someone reading aloud internet posts with the music-y sounding voice filter

That good, good gay shit

The unsettlingly insightful ones about history or the economy that describe what’s happening in the world right now, why, and also the obstacles to fixing those problems and how those obstacles can be overcome - somehow presenting a nuanced argument in less than a minute???

That one guy who does the DIY women’s clothing hacks

And I think my most favoritest thing is that that is pretty much the exact order that they appear on on my For You page. Like. The whiplash. That’s like 70% of the experience. 

#tiktok #quarantine #question for the young and hip: #why is a vibe check when you hit someone #but vibing is just hanging out #Gen Z explain #Explain #what do you mean #we vibing?

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We interrupt your scrolling for an important announcement

Virgil: *leaps on screen*

Virgil: Beep Beep bitches

Patton: It’s the drink water alert

Patton and Virgil, in unison: Hydrate before you die-drate.

Patton: Is it nighttime?

Patton: Go to bed.

Virgil: So help me I will sick Remy on you.

Patton: Sleep.

Virgil: You’re wearing a binder?

Virgil: Make sure to take it off.

Patton: Dysphoria is hard, but making sure you’re healthy is the top priority.

Virgil: Go make some food if you haven’t eaten.

Patton: Have you taken your meds?

Virgil: Unclench your jaw.

Virgil and Patton: *jazz hands* self-care

You may now return to your regularly scheduled scrolling

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There are so many unintended consequences to well-intentioned actions. It feels like a game you can’t win.

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logan is now genderfluid because i am so here’s things of logan vibing with it

- patton making logan friendship bracelets that has what pronouns they’re using currently

- logan not really caring what they appear outwardly because clothes have no gender his good ol polo and jeans are comfy

- but at the same time letting himself indulge in it

- so roman and virgil helping him indulge in makeup and clothes so she can look how she wants

- finding out how much he likes skirts and the history of clothing

- “heels used to be for men specifically, roman!”

-logan having unsure days but its usually cool cause he can switch pronouns throughout the day

- uncool days being not sure of her identity so bfs cuddle pile him

- so them wearing all the bracelets all at once

-“what pronouns for today” “idk spin a wheel”

- “what pronouns today””the stars indicate neither male or female”

- logan has stolen all the gender and he’s not giving it back

- scheduling cause they can

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my brain, at all times:

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the implications of Percy having made international news for being “kidnapped” in the lightning thief are literally the funniest things to me I genuinely never stop thinking about it

Like of course he’s not famous but his name will sound kinda familiar to the average person and if you look him up you’re probably going to get result after result of Percy Jackson on a list of famous abductions along with this awful Yancy Academy year book photo of this smol, endearingly tough-faced  kid.

Like, there are just too many bizarre circumstances to the mortal eye that wouldn’t have Percy’s kidnaping stand out like this kid literally blew a hole in a national monument, crashed a bus, and had a “shotgun-to-rifle” battle in Los Angeles that exploded cop cars, and people are so gonna talk about that. Like the idea that his “captor” was a huge burly guy that this twelve year old took on with a gun and then the dude fled and still has never been found?? Amazing. Spectacular. Perfectly Absurd.

Documentaries, Youtube videos… @emily-elizabeth-rose said #Buzzfeed Unsolved does a video on Percy Jackson when he’s in college and Percy gets weird looks for weeks afterwards and I love it cause that’s just so fucking funny

And also speaking of college – Percy having to write a college admission’s essay on facing adversity and overcoming hardship? He has an entire kidnapping story at his disposal with countless documents and media sources to support it and a college essay reader, somewhere, is going to lose their damn mind.

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I had another idea!

Ready? Ready for this?

Remus and Logan fighting over Patton?

~

(yes, you may write this)

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So imagine an AU where Virgil is a barista at a small town coffee shop run by his dad, Patton. And life’s pretty good, nothing particularly important ever happens other then the occasional Karen screaming about her drink not being hot enough.

Until one day when Virgil is alone in the shop, and he accidentally spills an entire black coffee on someone’s laptop...

Which is not good.

And it turns out the person he did it to is the cute theatre kid from his school, Roman Prince, and now the laptop is not turning on.

Which is very not good.

And it turns out that on that computer is the only copy of Roman’s final English paper, which he is due to email to his teacher- who according to Roman is the most hardass teacher in the school that has already said he is not accepting late papers under any circumstances- in five hours.

Which is extremely not good.

Now Roman’s in hysterics, almost crying, about this paper he is about to get a zero on that’s worth 30% of his final grade. And Virgil already feels guilty enough about the laptop, so he is not letting that happen.

Then he remembers his best friend Damien works at a computer repair store, so he calls Damien and Damien says he MIGHT be able to fix the laptop in time if they haul ass across town to his shop ASAP.

Now it’s a race against time to get to Damien’s store in time. This race includes:

Roman admitting he takes the bus and Virgil’s car battery dying

Roman calling his brother and the two of them getting picked in Remus’ hot pink convertible

All of them getting into a three way screaming match over the aux chord because Remus is listening to some screaming Finnish band and no one wants that

Remus getting into a fight with an elderly woman over the last parking stall in front of the repair shop

Finally they get to Damian and he manages to fix the laptop in perfect working conditions... about half an hour after the paper was due.

Virgil feels so guilty he’s about to cry as well. Especially with Roman sobbing about how now, “Mr Crofters is going to fail me!”

And that sentence makes Virgil want to bang his head against the wall, because dear god he’s a moron. So Virgil dissapears for a little bit and comes back with someone on the phone with the contact name “Mr Dad” that wants to speak to Roman.

So Roman answers the phone, and he’s super confused. Until a familiar voice over the phone tells him, “Hello, Mr Prince. This is Mr Crofters. As you know, I am not usually one to make exceptions to deadlines under any circumstances. However, seeing that it was my son that caused you to be late in the first place under no fault of your own, I am more then willing to extend your due date until next week. Oh, and next time you find yourself in my husband’s coffee shop, know you now eat for free there. We figure that that’s a good compromise for the repair cost of the laptop. Thank you”

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do you ever

do you ever just have

that one class

that one freaking class

that just depresses you when you think about it because

oh god you hate it so much

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Now you see, I've watched enough cartoons to know that this square of the carpet is on a separate animation cell from the background & therefore something funky will happen if I step on it. You won't catch me making a rookie mistake like that no sir!

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trans rights

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Someone: Star Trek is set in the future, why would disabilities exist? me, a disabled trekkie remembering that tng had a disabled character in the main cast, had an episode about a ‘genetic utopia’ in which that disabled character finds a solution to their problem BECAUSE he’s disabled, and that star trek has shown multiple people with some kind of disability: in the grand future, disabilities are ACCOMMODATED for, not erased.

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