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Luther and Five: Shotgun!

Five: I said it first!

Luther: I was born first.

Five: And you’ll die first, too.

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Thank you bisexuals

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Ben: can you keep it down, I’m trying to sleep

Klaus, High out of his mind:

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A Timeline of Luther’s Body Dysmorphia/Eating Issues BEFORE(!!) and after the Accident

TW: Talk of food, eating disorders, Exercise bulimia, Orthorexia, Restriction and b/p 

Okay I’ve said most of this before but I think this needs to be condensed into a solid timeline/logical explanation. 

Here is how I HC Luther’s eating habits before the operation, IE the unhealthy mindset/disordered eating he has always had which would inevitably be triggered into a full-blown eating disorder after he was mutilated:

Keep reading

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Diego at the beginning of UA:

Vanya betrayed us…she doesn’t get a vote

Luther, at the end of UA: Vanya needs to be contained

Diego *getting out knives*: excuse me what the fuck did you just say that is my siste-

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Klaus: can’t wait to hang out with my family

His family:

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Fuck Cha-Cha

valid

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OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD

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Klaus: hey I miss you guys!

His family:

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allison, vanya, klaus:

five, luther, diego:

ben:

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Klaus: Vanya!

Vanya: Yeah?

Klaus: HIT IT.

Vanya: [begins playing Toxic by Britney Spears on her violin]

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Diego: Eudora’s just upset because the historically entrenched patriarchy has created a culture of victim-shaming that supresses any power in our masculo-phallic system.

Klaus:

Patch:

Diego: I couldn’t sleep last night so I watched a documentary on Netflix about feminism.

Patch: I love you

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Number Five + WTNV tweets (1/?)

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Luther: hey dad the moon’s great! Here are the reports that took me four years to make!

Reginald:

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Interviewer: We’re here with 7 year old Klaus Hargreeves, who fended off a kidnapper earlier today. How did you do it, Klaus?

Klaus: Well, thank ya for askin’. I used the Bittenbinder method. When I saw the perp approachin’, I chewed up a tab of Alka-Seltzer I carry with me at all times. This created a foaming-at-the-mouth appearance that made it look like I had rabies. Now I’ve thrown him off his rhythm. Then I reach into his jacket pocket where I had planted a gram of coke and I went, ‘Whoa! What the fuck is this?’ And he goes, ‘That’s not mine. I never seen that before.’ I go, ‘Boo-hoo, it’s in your jacket. You’re doing two to ten and your kids are going into Social Services.’ Now he’s cryin’! Then I grab a telephone book and I beat him on the torso with it. ‘Cause as any Chicago cop will tell ya, a phone book doesn’t leave bruises.

Interviewer: Well, that was 7 year old Klaus Hargreeves, currently being sued for police brutality.

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one time an eye lash fell into Klaus’ eye and he thought it was a ghost attacking him. 

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Klaus, dancing around and twerking everywhere: You like? My HAIR. Gee thanks just BouGhT it. I see it I like it,, I want it I. Got. It

Allison: you’re thirty years old and I still pay your rent