ijustwanttofeelagain

[ijustwanttofeelagain]

some days depression and anxiety pop over for a visit…

no matter how many times i change the lock, they always seem to have a key.

but i no longer allow them to stay over.

growth? maybe.

or i just prefer the solitude.

i haven’t completely cleaned house though…

i still have an eviction notice sitting in the drawer that i can seem to give out.

the other two…i wouldn’t call giving the notices “easier” with them, but all they did was make me feel awful, which made it much more simple to recognize that their home shouldn’t be with me.

with that last tenant…

sometimes she does make me feel awful, but she also praises me, she makes me feel seen, she rewards me.

abusive? yes. maybe.

however, our connection is too strong - we want the same things (or at least she’s convinced me we do.)

how do you disconnect the lies from the reality when you’ve lived for the lies this long?

i’m afraid to lose her.

i am genuinely frightened to hand out that notice - not because of what she might do…..because….who would i be without her?

#text post #text #tenants #mental heath awareness

[ijustwanttofeelagain]

““Sometimes it’s good to just live life silently. Pay attention to your thoughts as they come and go, and reflect upon your feelings. Sometimes being overly social can offset our inner peace.” - Nicole Addison”

—

[ijustwanttofeelagain]

Don’t get angry at yourself for feeling drained. Growth takes a lot of energy. It’s really not as simple as it looks.

Nicole Addison @thepowerwithin

[ijustwanttofeelagain]

[ijustwanttofeelagain]

Anne Sexton, ‘The Addict’

[ijustwanttofeelagain]

blow my phone up when you miss me so I know it’s real

[ijustwanttofeelagain]

how the fuck am i supposed to make life decisions i’m not even sure i want to be alive

[ijustwanttofeelagain]

What’s today’s mood?

[ijustwanttofeelagain]

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU

lots and lots and lots and lots

[ijustwanttofeelagain]

Y’all ever fuck with a song so much you restart it before it’s even over?

[ijustwanttofeelagain]

Normalize disliking people and avoiding them without starting a conflict and insisting that they're bad people. You don't actually need to be able to call someone toxic and abusive in order to justify that you're not vibing with them.

[ijustwanttofeelagain]

i want to be a cat. jobless. educationless. useless. there to be pretty and soft

[ijustwanttofeelagain]

"Doing your best" means "doing what you can without harming your mental and physical health" not "doing something with no regards for your own limits."

[ijustwanttofeelagain]

"are u ok?" no but a new tattoo and some rough sex would definitely help

[ijustwanttofeelagain]

[ijustwanttofeelagain]

would you prefer to learn French or Italian before you die?

the threatening aura of this message reads like it was sent by the duolingo owl

[ijustwanttofeelagain]

what's your problem?

my problem is me