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incorrect-xena-quotes · 14 hours
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Xena: What a week, huh.
Gabrielle: Xenaz it's Wednesday.
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incorrect-xena-quotes · 17 hours
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Xena: Warrior Princess S03E18 - Fins, Femmes & Gems
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Joxer: Wow, you're so brave! You didn't even hesitate to throw yourself in danger!
Xena: That's because I have no regard for my own personal safety. You can ask Gabrielle.
Xena: I have never been more stressed in my entire life.
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Gabrielle: You look good in that armour.
Xena: You know where else I'd look good?
Gabrielle, zero hesitation: My bed.
Xena, at the same time: By your side- what?
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Joxer: I’ve got a new game. It’s called Argo or Gabrielle. I give you real things I’ve heard Xena say and you have to tell me if she was talking to her horse or her girlfriend.
Gabrielle:
Xena: I don’t think I like this game.
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Xena: The universe does not want me dead.
Xena: It does not want me happy, but it does not want me dead.
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Gabrielle: Are you always this sweet?
Xena: Nah I’m only sweet on Saturdays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays. Other days I’m a real asshole.
Gabrielle: Lucky for you, I like it both ways.
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Gabrielle: Come on, I want to show you something.
Gabrielle: *turns and walks away*
Xena: Nice.
Gabrielle: That's not it, but thank you.
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Joxer: If I need you, I’ll give a signal.
Xena: What’s the signal?
Joxer: I’ll imitate the scream of a terrified, little girl.
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Eli: Please don't kill me in my sleep.
Ares: Awake it is, then!
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Xena: No, I can go 24 hours without talking to Gabrielle. I'm not crazy.
Also Xena, that night: I take back what I said about being able to not talk to you for 24 hours. That was the longest 6 hours of my life.
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Xena: Every time! Your big mouth gets us into trouble every time!
Gabrielle: Not every time, only like, a third of the time.
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Callisto: And I’d love to be sorry for that, but we all know I’ve done much, much worse.
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Herodotus: I don't want my favorite daughter dating a screw up!
Xena: Well I don't want my favorite girlfriend daughter-ing a jerk dad! Burn on you!
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Xena: Can we all get back to work and stop talking about wedding dresses?
Joxer: No. We’re gonna talk about them, because while wearing a wedding dress, you leapt over a couch, sprinted down an alley, and jumped off a cart to subdue someone.
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Xena: Aphrodite, there’s something we need to tell you. Gabrielle and I are dating.
Aphrodite: I’ve known for the last few years, you two are inseparable.
Gabrielle: Years? We’ve only been dating a few weeks!
Aphrodite: Then what were you doing before that?
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Ares, looking at Xena: Our children will be smart and beautiful.
Aphrodite: Not to mention imaginary.
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