incorrectirondadquotes

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steve: sam did two tours in Afghanistan

bucky: oh, thank you for your service

sam: i didn’t do it for you

#i feel like in light of the sambucky show i need to bring back some of my best sam & bucky content

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peter: hey, sorry i’m late! i broke down on the way here.

tony: is your car okay?

peter: car?

tony:

peter:

#peter parker #spiderman #marvel #mcu #avengers #tony stark #ironman #iron man #irondad #incorrect quotes #incorrect marvel quotes #incorrect avengers

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bucky barnes

#in light of the new sambucky show content #this is the shit he’d do to sam

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peter: you know, if there’s one thing being convicted of terrorism and murder has taught me, it’s that people are fucking WEIRD. there’s a difference between supporting spider-man, sorta avenger, local hero because you believe in the goodness in him and support his innocence, and then there’s the Very Specific niche genre of people who AREN’T a fan of spidey but DO have a murder kink. like, i knew people simped over murderers, but i didn’t think I’D be one of them.

the hot dog vendor, staring wide eyed at the vigilante whose face has been plastered on the news for days: uh... do you want ketchup on that?

#peter parker #spiderman #marvel #mcu #avengers #incorrect mcu quotes #incorrect quotes #incorrect avengers #incorrect spiderman quotes #murder tw

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peter: are you... you know... 💅?

harley: i am. are you... y’know? 👀

peter: oh you mean ✌? yeah.

#peter parker #spiderman #marvel #mcu #avengers #harley keener #parkner #parley #keenker #spider lad #incorrect parkner #incorrect quotes

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peter: okay, you’ve got a gun to your head. what are your last words?

harley: i am gonna go in absolute silence because nobody is gonna have that fucking power over me. they’d be like “any last words? you must speak.” and i’d be like “...”

harley: like just do it, man

(inspired by this tik tok)

#peter parker #spiderman #marvel #mcu #avengers #harley keener #parley #keenker #incorrect quotes #incorrect marvel quotes #incorrect avengers #parkner

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matt murdock: sometimes i use my blindness as an excuse to stick my hands into bowls of decorative rocks because i like the way they feel

father lanthom: also not a sin but ok

#matt murdock #daredevil #mcu #marvel #marvel incorrect quotes #incorrect quotes

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tony: so, are you the big spoon or the little spoon?

bucky: i’m a knife

steve, from across the room: he’s a little spoon!

#bucky barnes #steve rogers #stucky #avengers #incorrect avengers #incorrect marvel quotes #marvel #incorrect mcu quotes #mcu #tony stark #iron man #captain america #winter soldier

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tony stark, world renowned, award winning, genius, technology innovator and modern science icon with several PHDs: pepper! did you know the p in ihop stands for pancakes?!

#I JUST FOUND THIS OUT #WHAT #also did you know the f in nfl stands for football #iron man #tony stark #pepperony #marvel #avengers #mcu #incorrect marvel quotes #marvel incorrect quotes #incorrect avengers #mcu incorrect quotes #incorrect mcu quotes

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my mom put this on my christmas tree and all i could think is this is major tony stark energy

#tony stark #iron man #christmas #avengers #mcu #marvel #incorrect avengers #marvel incorrect quotes #mcu incorrect quotes #pepperony #irondad

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sorcerer villain of the week™️: i have endless knowledge that you can never even begin to imagine.

peter: oh yeah? i’ve got some knowledge for you.

peter: forbidden wisdom that no one wants to accept.

sorcerer: oh really? and what is that?

peter: baby yoda is to the mandalorian as the minions are to despicable me.

sorcerer: holy shit dude

#YOURE GONNA LOOK AT ME AND YOURE GONNA TELL ME THAT IM WRONG? #this has been on my mind for too long #peter parker #spiderman #marvel #mcu #avengers #incorrect quotes #marvel incorrect quotes #incorrect avengers #mcu incorrect quotes #the mandalorian #baby yoda

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please enjoy my bad russian

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flash: i just don’t get axioms. they don’t make any sense.

peter: you’re overthinking it. it’s simple if you just think of it in parts. like the first axiom. if a=c and c=b then a=b

flash: easy for you to remember.

mj: here’s another way to remember. if peter = night monkey and night monkey = spider-man then peter = spider-man

flash: while that’s completely impossible, that does make it easier. 

peter, sweating nervously: 

#peter parker #spiderman #marvel #mcu #avengers #flash thompson #michelle jones #mj #spideychelle #incorrect quotes #incorrect marvel quotes #incorrect spiderman quotes #incorrect avengers quotes #incorrect mcu quotes

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harley: country roooooaaaads

peter: take me hoooommmeee

harley: well, if you insist

peter: wait, those aren’t the words

peter:

peter: OH

#peter parker #spiderman #parkner #marvel #mcu #avengers #harley keener #incorrect quotes #incorrect marvel quotes #incorrect avengers #incorrect mcu quotes #parley #keenker

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someone on my discord server said what if we did to stephen strange what we do to benadryl cucumbersnitch?

styrofoam stratosphere?

stegosaurus stripper?

stinky straw?

please make more

#stephen strange #doctor strange #marvel #mcu #avengers

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sam: sorry for being late... i was doing... stuff

bucky, bursting into the room dischevled and panting:

steve, with a knowing smirk: hey stuff

bucky: he pushed me down the stairs!

#bucky barnes #sam wilson #steve rogers #winter soldier #falcon #marvel #mcu #avengers #fatws #incorrect quotes #incorrect marvel quotes #incorrect mcu quotes #incorrect avengers #sambucky

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based on a text convo i just had

peter: and that’s why i’ve decided to take the night off and take care of me! i deserve some self care.

ned: i’m so proud of you!!!

peter: i love you!!!!

harley: i love you, peter

ned: i love you most!

harley: this ain’t a contest, bitch

#peter parker #spiderman #parkner #marvel #mcu #avengers #harley keener #incorrect quotes #incorrect mcu quotes #incorrect marvel quotes #incorrect avengers #ned leeds