insomnia-productions

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the inherent tension between the acronyms JFC, JFK, and KFC .......

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Number of Goblins, ranked

One Goblin - That's just a goblin. He's probably just getting his groceries or something. Leave him alone, you asshole.

Ten Goblins -- That's a fairly normal amount of goblins. There's generally around ten goblins in any given situations. They're just here for aesthetic, so you know it's a fantasy world. Remember to tip them when you leave.

One Hundred Goblins -- Ok this is too many goblins, but this is a reasonable amount of too many goblins. Like, this is maybe an army of goblins or something? My point is that they're probably here for a good reason. Best not to mess with them, they're likely load-bearing in some way.

One Thousand Goblins -- This is probably a goblin town, in which case this is really more a case of One Human, which is a completely different list only available on goblintube. If not, all these goblins are lost. Return them to the goblin town. The orcs are worried.

One Million Goblins -- A million goblins? I'm not sure I've even seen a million things in my life , and now there's a million goblins? That's, like, all the goblins. Why are you at a convention of all the goblins? Are you a goblin? Actually, no, that would make sense. Yeah, that's probably what's going on here. Sorry you had to find out this way.

One Billion Goblins -- Ok, look, at this point you have clearly been sent to a future time where humanity is extinct and goblins have inherited the earth. I can think of no other explanation for a billion goblins. This sadly means that you're the weirdo, and you have to go be a cryptid now. At least you can find a phone and read the goblin creepypastas about you.

One Trillion Goblins -- How? What is happening? This is more goblins then there are birds, and they'll all in your house? How is your house this big? Wait, forget the goblins, how is your house this big? Are the goblins here to guillotine you? Probably! Move out of your stupid mansion and let the goblins have it, you weird rich bird-hoarding freak.

One Quadrillion Goblins -- One quadrillion? I'm only like 80% sure that's even a real number! Luckily, you won't have to deal with a quadrillion goblins for long, because soon they'll collapse together under their gravity, forming a far more manageable single planet-sized goblin. Picard's not gonna be happy about this one!

More Goblins -- Fuck off, you do not have more then a quadrillion goblins. Why are you lying? Are you worried I won't like you if you don't claim to have an implausible number of goblins? Don't worry. Your worth is not dependent on your goblin numbers. Go back to the actual number of goblins secure in the fact I love you, no matter how few goblins you have <3

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I thought of him when I saw this

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#brb getting on the red line #cats that look like my friend oz

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being a fan of a friend's ocs is actually so humiliating....... like yes my favourite character rn is tragically doomed and a pillar of humanity who i think is relevant to the current world. you can find information about them on discord dot com and sometimes in late-night conversations with this guy i know. what the fuck

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I hate when you're looking for something and folks are like "oh I'm sure it's somewhere." well aye that's sort of the base assumption for most things but cheers. big help

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Autophobia: an irrational, extreme fear of being alone

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Something about the bad kids getting back from the last stand in the middle of the night.

A few months ago they came home late at night after being away all summer fighting, barely surviving, they lost friends in that fight, they lost themselves a bit too. They came home exhausted, nervous about the year ahead, they just wanted some time off. Schools almost out, it’s almost summer again.

This time they come home, not a single one of them dropped in battle, they were masters of combat they were perfect students,

Someone who shouldn’t have still died, they are still exhausted, their nerves have turned to pure stress, they haven’t gotten any time off.

and once again they return home in the middle of the night.

Everything's changed and yet nothing has.

#d20 spoilers #fantasy high spoilers #fhjy spoilers

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i love how brennan sticks to lore agreements in order to have silly little mechanics. like him letting fig make a persuasion check on the pentacorn because it was made for fig is so fun

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my horrible horrible wife (regency twink obsessed with horrors beyond human comprehension)

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THE JJK LEAKS????

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learned today (after googling it upon seeing the "Sadomasochism Brothers" post) that masochism was named by a psychiatrist who had read Leopold von Sacher-Masoch's erotic writing and was like "I feel safe in concluding that this man had Fucked-Up Freak Sex Disorder, which now until forever will bear his name", while von Sacher-Masoch was still alive. there are accounts of von Sacher-Masoch being like "bro what the fuck" about this

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writing smut like

how many synonyms for “penis” do I actually know?

#i saw meat wand once

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Funguary day 9: Silver leaf fungus

Well, I’m a bit behind schedule :’) Anyway, this one was pretty straightforward to complete thanks to its single color. I aimed for a fluffy texture with this character

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#COLIN ROBINSON LFGGGGG

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Write a horror story in the format of an Internet search history

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I wish wizards were real so bad imagine coming out of a wal mart and seeing some guy with long robes and a big hat in the parking lot surrounded by wacky particle effects screaming some shit like "By the moon and the starlight, by the shield and the sword, I summon to me, my Honda Accord!" And then just getting into his car and driving off

#prev i WHEEZED