jeffsmoreau

[jeffsmoreau]

Jeff “Joker” Moreau + Pilot jokes

#JOKER. #his entire personality right here ... JNDSKFMGNFD

[jeffsmoreau]

SHEPARD .         victamortem‌

❛   Hey ,  hey  Joker ,  watch  this .   Hey .  Joker .  Are  you  watching ?  Joker .  Hey  .  .  .  ❜   She’s  got  her  rifle  raised ,   ready  to  make  some  ridiculous  trick - shot ,  but  not  before  being  fully  acknowledged .

      ‘      @jeffsmoreau​  .

❝           THIS IS YOUR PILOT SPEAKING .          ❞          he drawls ,    voice dipping into the monotone of an old airplane pilot from the vids .    fingers swipe the holoscreen ,    bringing up shepard’s feed .          ❝        you are cleared for    ...     whatever the hell it is you’re gonna do .            ❞

#victamortem #THIS IS SO CUTE IM GNA LOSE IT

[jeffsmoreau]

the fact that most of jokers dialogue is just seth green sayin whatever he wants and the writers bein like “yea it works ig” n workin his character around seth ........... i--

#joker is just seth greens self insert #tbd.

[jeffsmoreau]

joker taking care of his bff shepard (´ ε ` )♡

#BROOOOOOOOOO :pleading: #I LOVE TO FUCKIN SOBBBBBBBBBB #joker cares SM abt shepard i wna cry #JOKER. #SHEPARD.

[jeffsmoreau]

THE    FIVE    SENSES     /      SENTENCE    STARTERS  .

some   may   be   nsfw   and   /   or   be   triggering.   

01    :     TOUCH .

❝ i love this [ FABRIC ], it feels satisfying. ❞

❝ your touch. it leaves me breathless. ❞

❝ your touch is unlike any other. ❞

​❝ have you ever felt anything more comfortable? ❞

❝ feel this. what does it feel like to you? ❞

❝ i wanted to see what it felt like. ❞

​❝ touch it. i dare you. ❞

​❝ you felt ice cold when i touched you. ❞

​❝ you feel warm to me. ❞

​❝ i love the feel of [ FABRIC ] against my skin. ❞

​❝ i love the feel of your skin against mine. ❞

​❝ i would never touch anyone else. ❞

​❝ i love the feel of your hair between each of my fingers. ❞

​❝ don’t you dare touch me. ❞

​❝ i want to feel your lips against my own. ❞

​❝ i can feel your pulse. it jumped. ❞

​❝ let me give you a massage. ❞

❝ you feel like home to me. ❞ 

02     :      TASTE .

❝ i love the taste of you. ❞

❝ i can never forget that taste. ❞

❝ fair warning, it does have a bitter taste. ❞

​❝ no offense, you just aren’t my taste. ❞

❝ can i have a taste of that? ❞

❝ i have yearned for the taste of your lips. ❞

​❝ that tasted pretty good actually. ❞

​❝ it just left a really bad taste in my mouth so no thanks. ❞

​❝ nothing taste better than chocolate. ❞

​❝ i’ve got something you might want to taste. ❞

​❝ i will forever savor that taste. ❞

​❝ blood has such a metallic taste. ❞

​❝ my taste buds are mad at me after eating that. ❞

​❝ how’s it feel to get a taste of your own medicine? ❞

​❝ you didn’t even taste it. ❞

​❝ trust me, you’ll want to taste this. ❞

​❝ i think it has a bit of bitter sweet taste. ❞

❝ so you tasted it, did you like it? ❞

03     :      SIGHT .

❝ i see you. ❞

❝ i’ve never seen things so clearer than i do now. ❞

❝ it’s too dark, i can’t see anything. ❞

​❝ how can you see anything? it’s pitch dark. ❞

❝ i’ve looked close enough and i see you for what you are. ❞

❝ please, just look at me. ❞

​❝ stop staring at me like that. ❞

​❝ get that light out of my face. ❞

​❝ it’s so bright outside today. ❞

​❝ what’s wrong? what did you see? ❞

​❝ you’re scared, you must have saw something. ❞

​❝ what i saw, you’ll never believe me. ❞

​❝ i’ve never seen you before. ❞

​❝ have we seen one another before? ❞

​❝ you see me for what i truly am. ❞

​❝ i didn’t see anything. ❞

​❝ did you see that? ❞

❝ i can’t believe my eyes. ❞

04     :      SOUND .

❝ shhh, i just heard something. ❞

❝ did you hear that? ❞

❝ what is that sound? ❞

​❝ i missed the sound of your voice. ❞

❝ do you hear me? stay away from me. ❞

❝ i hear you, loud and clear. ❞

​❝ i’m sorry, what was that? i didn’t hear you. ❞

​❝ i’ve heard that sound before. ❞

​❝ you didn’t hear anything at all? ❞

​❝ can you hear what they’re saying? ❞

​❝ aw, i love the sound of music. ❞

​❝ i never said i could hear them. ❞

​❝ wait, hear that? something is coming. ❞

​❝ i could hear screams … ❞

​❝ i heard you all the way upstairs. ❞

​❝ you didn’t just hear that? that sound? that noise? ❞

​❝ trust me, you’re going to want to hear this. ❞

❝ please, just hear me out. ❞

05     :      SMELL .

❝ what is that smell? ❞

❝ i have missed your smell. ❞

❝ you smell nice. ❞

​❝ it’s unlike anything i’ve smelled before. ❞

❝ i smell the food cooking from here. ❞

❝ do you smell that? ❞

​❝ how are you able to smell that? ❞

​❝ no offense but it really smells. ❞

​❝ it’s starting to smell. ❞

​❝ tell me, you’ve smelled this before. ❞

​❝ i know that smell, it’s the smell of lies. ❞

​❝ i can smell you from here. ❞

​❝ are you smelling me? ❞

​❝ i missed the smell of your hair. ❞

​❝ i need to step away, get some fresh air. ❞

​❝ do you smell that? that’s the smell of freedom. ❞

​❝ i could never erase your smell. ❞

❝ i can smell the fear on you from here. ❞

#okay i'm gna turn off discord / notifs for a hot second while i Hunker Down n try to be productive ... #since ALL i've done is shitpost #but hehehe hi

[jeffsmoreau]

yeah in part joker desperately wanted to save the normandy during the collector attack.  it’s his home.   he LOVES the normandy.   but it’s also about the fact that he just   ....   he’s so capable,    so sure of himself,   knows how good he is and IN SPACE?   the entire’s crew’s lives are in his hands.   he knows that,   and despite the jokes he doesn’t take that responsibility lightly or casually.   in me2,   his inability to save the normandy,   and more importantly the crew and shepard,  is something that weighs so heavily on him.    he can’t fail at what he does  --  if he fails,   they Die.    when he has to leave shepard behind a second time at the end of me3?   he has to be reminded that they Have to leave.   they Can’t stay.   joker is there til the Bitter End for the normandy,  for its entire crew and he would hold out as long as he could and do everything in his power to keep them safe and i just-- 

#'i can still save her' is not arrogance its Desperation #it isnt some selfish ego thing either. he knows the stakes and he just ... hes just ready to stay until the Bitter End #bro whatever. i love him im gna cry #tbd.

[jeffsmoreau]

SHEPARD .         victamortem‌ .

❛    Hey   they’ve   got   holo - cards  for   that  exact   thing   is   all   I’m   saying .   Though   I   wouldn’t   say   no   to   some   cake .   Maybe   an   Illusive   Man   shaped   piñata ?   I   trust   your   judgement .      ❜

❝          WELL ,    MAYBE YOU’RE GETTING PAID      enough for custom made illusive man pinatas ,    but i’m sure not .    i’ll get you a cookie next time we have shore - leave ,   or something .    you like fake space raisins ?           ❞

#victamortem #bro he is SO annoying i'm gonna THROTTLE HIM

[jeffsmoreau]

❝         Y’SEE THAT GUY OVER THERE ?       definitely marriage problems .    you can see the line around his finger where a ring should be .    probably recently divorced ,   or about to be .    or he’s cheating on his spouse   --    which would make him an even bigger asshole than his dance moves .    plus ,    that’s his fifth drink .    pff   ---        ❞         leaning on the counter ,    he knocks back the shot glass .        ❝         alright ,    your turn .          ❞

@biotek​ .           ♡ .    

#biotek #joker being Uncomfortably Observant when he wants to b is frankly the best thing the game hinted at and im RUNNING with it #anyways ... theyre bullying ppl in a bar or smth ......... but lmk if u want smth else!!! <3

[jeffsmoreau]

❝         HEY ,    UHHH     ---     look .     are you alright ?    i mean ,    i know the whole     cerberus     thing isn’t ideal ,    but it’s not all bad .    could be worse .          ❞           you could still be dead . 

@choseparagon​ .            ♡ .    

#choseparagon #yea we're kickin it off w/ this ..... Time To Suffer!

[jeffsmoreau]

#STOP STOP SHUT UP SDMFNKGNFMDS LITERALLYMDFMGND #this gets even funnier if u read it in their voices i CANTNMKSDFG

[jeffsmoreau]

GARRUS VAKARIAN .        turianrebel‌

❝  you  really  got  attached  to  that  stick  up  his  ass  line  ,  didn’t  you  .  you  tend  to  resort  to  it  a  lot  .  ❞  he  laughs  ,  shaking  his  head  .  ❝  you’re  going  to  haggle  with  a  batarian  for  essential  ship  parts  ?                 glad  i’m  coming  with  you  ,  then  .  i  don’t  think  the  illusive  man  will  fix  you  up  like  he  did  shepard  if  you  come  back  all  beat  up  .  ❞  garrus  crosses  his  arms  in  a  comfortable  position  and  switches  the  weight  of  his  body  to  his  left  foot  ,  rocking  back  and  forth  a  little  as  he  listens  .  ❝  where’s  this  batarian  hiding  out  ?  where  are  we  going  ?  ❞

❝        HEY ,    WHY MESS UP A GOOD THING ?      if the shoe fits    ...        ❞           his tone dips ,    dry ,   trailing off with the implied  wear it .    he switches gears ,    quite a bit more amicable now    --   even putting his hand on garrus’ shoulder ,    or about as close as he can reach ,    given the goddamn near two foot height different .      ❝        ‘course ,   i’m not talking about you ,    since you’re   --   y’know ,   gonna help me hassle this guy .    you’re a real friend ,     garrus .        ❞          irreverent ,    but still appreciative .    leaning forward on the supportive crutches ,    joker suddenly looks very interested in the paneling of the normandy’s floor .

❝          he’s not hiding out .     at least not criminally .    or ,   i  don’t know    ---    maybe he is .    but he is on omega ,     so ,    i mean    ---    take that as you will .     and since you’re a local ‘n all    ...   and it’s shore leave for the next couple of hours    ...    and i really don’t want to be mugged three minutes after gettin’  off the ship     ...    or killed .    damn .    but you get where i’m going with this ,    right ?     i have no idea if he’s in the rougher side of town ,    but it’s omega    --   so it’s all rough .         ❞

#turianrebel #THEYRE SO MUCHDFNGDF their dialogue is always so funny tho....... joker likes garrus he does ok :(( BJSDMFKGFD #the CHAOS........ #lbr here joker would Probably get mugged on omega .. this is why he doesnt leave the ship #RE : MASS EFFECT 2 .

[jeffsmoreau]

chaotic one liner starter call 

#i'm keepin them one liners this time i swear.. #MNDSFKGFND

[jeffsmoreau]

“It is over right? …It’s never over.“

#JOKER. #... 😭😭😭

[jeffsmoreau]

#thank u

[jeffsmoreau]

bioware seems pretty inconsistent with joker’s condition.   in mass effect 1,  he says that the disease is in his legs  ---  “i don’t fly with my feet,  commander?”  ---  and we never even see him walk,   and he claims that it’s difficult to get around even with crutches and leg - braces.   but throughout the next two games,   the disease is    1.   seemingly present throughout the body,    and  2.    he’s walking with a slight limp,    but he is walking,   and without crutches of any kind.   even with his condition being   “moderate to severe,”    and the fact that he fractured his thumb one time by pressing a button too hard.   but,   at the end of the suicide mission,   we see him handle an assault rifle ?   with that kind of recoil ?    given all of this,    i’m gonna take matters into my own hands.    

the condition is present throughout his body,    but is concentrated mostly in his legs.    his bones heal slowly.   a break takes months to heal,   and then months more to fully recover.     bones aren’t going to shatter from walking around,   but without added support of leg braces and crutches,    it is painful to walk around,    and his gait is incredibly slow    --   in part,   because he’s careful,   and his leg strength is extremely limited,    but also because of this chronic pain.    running is near impossible.    he received minor cybernetic implants in between mass effect 1 and 2,   courtesy of cerberus,   that reinforced the bones in his legs.   it gives him more maneuverability,   as well as lessening the pain in his legs.    he still uses leg braces and crutches,   however.  

his upper body is stronger than his lower body,    and the bones are less fragile.    extremities like fingers do break somewhat easily,   though.   if he were to be,   i don’t know,   punched in the side,   cracked ribs would result.   he does have some minor arm strength   (strength used very loosely)    due in large part to physical therapy that he’s done over the years.   but,    no,     i don’t believe he’d be able to handle an assault rifle.   the kind of recoil a weapon like that could have,   even if it’s the Future,   would simply be too much   --   it would shatter his shoulder.  

as a reference point,    poking at him isn’t going to break anything   --   punching him will result in a Broken Face   --   a fall won’t kill him,   but it will likely result in something getting cracked,   or broken depending on how bad the fall is.   

joker is definitely not as Buff(tm) as the game makes him out to be.   he has no muscle,   at all.   he’s got a mostly slender appearance.   not necessarily sickly,    but not broad,   and definitely not muscular.   his physique is slightly padded with body fat,   giving him a Soft Look(tm) around the torso,    but the lines of his bones do protrude slightly,   especially around the joints and legs. 

but joker it’s important to remember he isn’t incapable,   and definitely doesn’t need to be Babied.    his disease doesn’t make him someone to be infantilized or made a joke of.    there’s nothing that needs to be “fixed,” either.   he isn’t breaking bones every other week,   and to assume that is ridiculous.   he’s fully capable of taking care of himself.   

#HEADCANON. #ask to tag /

[jeffsmoreau]

Rocco e i suoi fratelli (1960) dir. Luchino Visconti

#post - shepard's death vibes ... yeah #INTROSPECTION.

[jeffsmoreau]

SHEPARD .         victamortem‌

❛    Mmm ,   is   it   too   late   to   say   too   soon ?   Cause  .  .  .  I  mean .    ❜

❝          OH ,    THAT’S GREAT    --      you managed to ruin the 200 year old pun .    you’re still not over that ?    yeesh .   what do i need to do ?    get you a     sorry you died and got brought back to life by the evil supremacist organization     cake ?          ❞

#victamortem #hes makin jokes but if u look closely enuff u can see the deep seated guilt