le-malaise-du-moment

[le-malaise-du-moment]

the almost contentious but intimate relationship between a woman and the book she’s been trying to read for a year

[le-malaise-du-moment]

i hate emails. i hate sending emails. i hate receiving emails. i hate reading emails. i hate it all

[le-malaise-du-moment]

Oooo yes and it's INFURIATING. There's one patch at the base of my head that I call my anxiety spot. You can tell I'm super anxious by how much I'm scratching. It's annoying, it's uncomfortable, and it just adds to the anxiety, honestly.

epic that anxiety is not confined to the brain and just poisons every inch of the body. stomach. chest. neck. shoulders. everywhere else. really really cool

#i also hum #like outburts of sound

[le-malaise-du-moment]

will barnet, "dialogue in green," 1970, lithograph

[le-malaise-du-moment]

Vlasta Fialová in Divá Bára (1949) dir. by Vladimír Čech.

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[le-malaise-du-moment]

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might join the cicada this summer and scream constantly

[le-malaise-du-moment]

*through gritted teeth* it doesn’t have to be perfect, it just has to be done. it doesn’t have to be perfect, it just has to be done. it doesn’t have to be-

[le-malaise-du-moment]

— Penelope's Song by Louise Glück (Meadowlands, 1997)

[le-malaise-du-moment]

It's only 10:42 and it's been a rough morning:

I had trouble getting up

Forgot my laptop at home

Found out that my cat peed on my backpack and some of my papers got wet

Fortunately, I grabbed the folder with all of my printed out chapters amd exams, so I can continue to work on my dissertation intro analog. It just feels like it's one thing after another.

#personal #me #gradblr #dissertation

[le-malaise-du-moment]

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weekend? more like weakened. let me rest

[le-malaise-du-moment]

a full belly is sacred.

there is no shame in eating, and providing ourselves sustenance and pleasure through food is not only survival - it's a right and a ritual. as feeding others is sacred - so is feeding ourselves. as sharing food with others is sacred - so is accepting the food shared with us. a healthy body is a fed body.

this guilt, too, shall pass.

[le-malaise-du-moment]

i've had enough of being so brave about it i want to start screaming

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Cristin O’Keefe Aptowicz, “July”

[text ID: The figs we ate wrapped in bacon. / The gelato we consumed greedily: / coconut milk, clove, fresh pear. / How we’d dump hot espresso on it / just to watch it melt, licking our spoons / clean. The potatoes fried in duck fat, / the salt we’d suck off our fingers, / the eggs we’d watch get beaten / ‘til they were a dizzying bright yellow, / how their edges crisped in the pan. / The pink salt blossom of prosciutto / we pulled apart with our hands, melted / on our eager tongues. The green herbs / with goat cheese, the aged brie paired / with a small pot of strawberry jam, / the final sour cherry we kept politely / pushing onto each other’s plate, saying, / No, you. But it’s so good. No, it’s yours. / How I finally put an end to it, plucked it / from the plate, and stuck it in my mouth. / How good it tasted: so sweet and so tart. / How good it felt: to want something and / pretend you don’t, and to get it anyway.]

[le-malaise-du-moment]

crumpling under the weight of two unanswered texts