livvia26

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A nice read for anybody who has been ghosted in the past ❤️

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Also since I’m going try to use my old tumblr account more (probably as a personal public diary) imma finally have a space to put my shitposts. So enjoy these photos from one of my favorite IG artist. https://instagram.com/sirjoancornella?igshid=1lqoy4bwiig0f

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So I know I haven’t posted on here in a while (if anybody actually cares to read my shit) but recently I started working retail again. Was told today at work that a co-worker of mine that I had a crush on said that my “voice can get a little loud sometimes” (something that I know is kind of a problem in general that I somewhat don’t have control over). But instead of saying that behind my back to my other co-worker AND friend say it to my face next time 🙃🤷🏽‍♀️

#menarestupid #manup #growsomeballs

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Post-Grad Life

If someone were to ask me “how is post-grad life?” I would honestly tell them stressful as HELL. Earlier this week I got stressed about the GRE and getting into graduate school on time to the point where I woke up during the middle of the night just doubting my abilities. It also doesn’t help that both my aunt and mom decided to throw multiple questions at me about my plans for grad school, how am I going to pay for it, etc. It just overwhelmed me even more and just made me want to go crawl in a corner. Didn’t help anymore when my mom told me “I just don’t understand whatI I have to be stressed about”. I have only told 2 other friends about how stressed and how much anxiety I have right now about this test. I am just so scared for the future and just failing both my family and myself. 

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Spent this weekend in bed crying about how miserable my life has been since I was about 2 or 3. First kids made fun of me for my dark hair, then my skin, my small ”Asian eyes”, speech issue, and then belittling me with Asian stereotypes of eating my pets. I never liked people growing up too much my 8th grade English teacher especially. She made me sit next to my bully who would often attack me with racial slurs calling me a “Kamikaze”; she thought that putting us next to each other “we would eventually become friends”. My mom didn’t make it any better by the time I reached High school. By then I was attacked each year with something about my body and how I needed “loose 5 more pounds. You looked better when you were 112 pounds”, “if you keep eating like that you’ll end up on the Biggest Loser”, or something about the cellulite on my legs and how I should get rid of it. I came to hate my body to the point that I starved my body of basic nutrients during the summer before Sophomore year loosing 12 pounds by eating nothing but salads just about everyday for 2 months. Fast forward to now I am stronger than what I was in my youth but still struggle with my health and mental health. Lately I’ve been wishing for death (something my friend Kyriin would say) and I’m ready to leave this miserable life whenever. 

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Interestingly, when first meeting someone with Antisocial Personality Disorder, most people would say that they seemed charming, intelligent, and fun to be around. An individual with ASPD is a skillful “shape shifter” who is able to portray many diverse social faces or ‘personas’. The term persona “meant the mask once worn by actors to indicate the role played… It is, as its name implies, only a mask… that feigns individuality, making others believe that one is individual, whereas one is simply acting a role” (Carl Jung). The ASDP individual uses this skill to deceive and manipulate others in order to attain his own personal goals, often at the expense of others.

source

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This won’t make your blog look ugly. How could you not reblog this? REBLOGGING THIS COULD SAVE A LIFE!!!

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Men are stupid and useless to my existence. Not even sure why I even try with them anymore tbh

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