lyrsui

[lyrsui]

was just looking up this comic to show someone but couldn't find it on my own page so am leaving myself a reference: https://sourcedumal.tumblr.com/post/29315676650/fumblingtowardshappiness/amp

(it's an erotic comic called Monster Under the Bed by Savannah Horrocks. I first saw this on Tumblr yearssss ago.)

#comics #monster #monster under the bed #savannah horrocks

[lyrsui]

currently working on a poetry manuscript,

and that's been true for the last four years. but around this time in 2019, i had a handful of poems, and i had some vague ideas of what i was writing about--at first i thought i was writing a satirical commentary on internet culture, but then as i wrote more and more, i had these other pieces that were like... sadder. in early versions of the book, i tried to tell a straightforward sort of "story" but the poems didn't work quite that way. so, i found other ways to sort them.

so, what have i accomplished since then?

in the fall of 2019, i probably had like 6-8 poems tops

then i signed up for a yearlong writing program at the start of 2020. it was costly, but it helped me a lot. it was a crash course in poetry. i read books. i wrote new poems. at the end of the program, mid-2021, i had something like 20-25 poems, but i was not yet at a full-length count.

i spent another year writing poems on my own. i joined a writing workshop or two but mostly i wrote in solitude. i finally got to about 35 poems by the summer of 2022. i felt hopeful.

in fall 2022, i submitted my manuscript to first book contests. i had done a lot of revising on my own. i asked a person or two to be my beta-readers. i felt good about most of my poems, as i had been diligently revising the 2019 drafts to their best, and i was nervous about the newer pieces but happy to have them included.

i received a lot of rejections. but i had two poems published online, and a third included in a horror poetry anthology. i was also named a semifinalist for one of the book contests i'd entered. these were all small wins.

i took a break from the poetry stuff to focus on school, then on job hunting. now things in my life have settled down and i am back to thinking about poetry.

i signed up for a poetry conference this weekend, where real live editors offer their genuine feedback and talk craft with us. i'm excited by the opportunity. i was given the first ten pages of notes and some of it was cutting, but goodness it's been so long since i really had sharp feedback on my work, and i am appreciative of it nonetheless. the conference runs till Monday morning. the notes are truly invaluable.

i plan to pursue an MFA in 2025, which would only be an extension of the $$$$ i am invested in my writing already. the yearlong workshop was several thousand, the conference a couple thousand as well. the manuscript consultations i plan to pay for will also run me a few hundred each, and the submission fees add up quick. truly, no one is lying when they say that writing is a pursuit mired in privilege. I am grateful to work a day job that makes a lot of all this easier, but it's cushioned work, isn't it? i recognize that more and more lately.

i am not mentioning the price tags to brag, but really just to highlight that money has felt so necessary in lieu of organic connections or inner networks. money isn't buying me placements in top tier lit mags but i feel like it is buying me the notes and feedback to guide my revision towards stronger poems that may one day be lit mag worthy.

i am excited by the work ahead. invigorated by the energy of knowing i have work worth launching into the world. i plan to use october to edit and refine, as there are many upcoming contests and i want to have better drafts to send along than i sent last year.

i plan to sign up for more paid workshops that will help me with drafting my fiction. i only have one short story under my belt, and i'd like to slowly round out that list too, eventually having three then five then ten, all in rotation to lit mags submissions too. i want my name to hold weight eventually. to become familiar.

it feels really good to have clear dreams and a clear plan for my writing career. my goal is to work on these poems and continue trying to place them. to partake in writing programs that may help me get exposure to other editors and mentors, etc. i hope that by the time i am ready to apply to MFA programs that I will be able to ask for a reference or two out of these workshops. by the time i apply for a poetry MFA, i hope to just use the published poems and an unpublished one or two as well, to feel confident about my abilities. then i'll generate a second book of poetry, who knows about what, and publish that too.

it's all fun to think about!

#writing #creative writing #poetry #poetry community #notes on craft

[lyrsui]

Recent Selfies —

I turned 29 this summer

I graduated college this year, and now have a BA in linguistics.

I have a FT salary job, assisting with grant applications at a nonprofit.

I’m working on getting a poetry collection published. I’ve been slowly gaining acceptances and diligently submitting my work

#pictures of me.

[lyrsui]

hello, i know it's been ages:

i was coming through my archives a couple of weeks ago, digging up research on old feelings. and today i found myself sort of bouncing with excitement and realizing i don't have quite the right place to dump all the feelings in my head in any sort of public forum. thank goodness for this platform and my account still existing, and really i should back them up somehow, right? is there a way to do that?

anyway, i have updates i wanna talk about and so on, which i will post in a little bit next. no idea who's active of my old following, and i am not a reliable user of tumblr anymore, so this is no less of a shout into the void than a post of mine on any other platform...but at least i can write in paragraphs

[lyrsui]

so metropolitan museum of art has a register of books they’ve published that are out of print and that you can download for free! they’re mostly books on art, archeology, architecture, fashion and history and i just think that’s super useful and interesting so i wanted to share! you can find all of the books available here!

[lyrsui]

One of my favourite pop culture useless pieces of information that I know is the fact that trends in horror movies can tell you about the general fears of the world at any given time in cinematic history.

#fascinating #horror #film theory

[lyrsui]

I log in here like once a year but do sometimes miss this space. I think my updates on life are as follows:

At the beginning of the year, I decided to retire my college dropout lifestyle and enroll in school again. So I’m wrapping up a BA in linguistics, which I don’t intend to use directly but it will help me move up in my field. I currently work in arts administration (event production, programming) so that’s what I hope to move up in and continue with. 😌

I have an art studio! Have I posted about it before? I’ve had it for nearly a year and it’s been one of my best self investments!!! I’m really proud of the space and in fact I won an artist grant that will allow me to continue having the space for at least the next year and a half. I’m very grateful.

Hm what else … my book is still coming along. I’m struggling with it but I have faith, I really do.

My love life is chaotic as always. We’ll skip that one. We’re in the chapter where I’m supposed to heal and exercise self love and that’s so boring. 🥱

I have a great loving circle of friends, as always. I love that.

No family drama to report, thankfully. Summer is on the horizon so it’s birthday season in my household. Yesterday my youngest brother turned 19. It’s cute to watch my siblings grow up. I’m growing too! I’ll be 28 in July.

I don’t know what else to update with lol. Those are the big things.

[lyrsui]

this is what I’ve been looking like lately 💛

#pictures of me.

[lyrsui]

selfies from last year! I have new ones to spam

hey 💛❤️💙

[lyrsui]

I don’t actually want to learn to cook but I want to maybe start a Pinterest board of recipes that don’t intimidate me. I think a good starting point could be learning how to make food I usually only get to have as takeout. things like that would make it exciting for me. I think I want to collect some good baking recipes because I’d love to bake scones or pies or donuts! Also want to learn to master baking bread and cookies from scratch! So used to box mix but I think it would be nice to branch out 💛

[lyrsui]

I don't want my life to just be one drawn-out negative reaction to whiteness, maleness, and capital.

[lyrsui]

okay a list:

Learn to swim (again)

Learn to ride a bike

Learn to roller skate

Learn about data analytics

Learn to cook

Try to read 2 books per month

At least one makeup look per week (more =merrier!)

just wanna try to encourage myself to pick up new skills...

it’s a merge of fitness goals & wanting to improve my creative skills as an aspiring MUA and then wanting to cultivate positive feelings around cooking, and wanting to read more because I just... don’t do that

[lyrsui]

Angel eyes, Miki Kim

[lyrsui]

I got vaccinated and I’m excited for the summer. I feel like it’s safe to look forward to my birthday. I’m also looking forward to being able to figure out fitness activities that are fun. for example, I think I’d love to learn to roller skates this summer! I also think I might want to take swimming lessons again. I took classes when I was a kid and I didn’t exactly fail but I also didn’t exactly become a master swimmer! so I think that’s something I wanna tackle! I miss pole dancing a lot. and I miss yoga but yoga is the most accessible kind of fitness there is.

I know that diet culture is a big frown but to be honest I want to go on a diet. I don’t really care about the fact that sometimes a lot of it is glamorized disordered eating.... basically because I don’t have — and have never had! — “good” eating habits. what I’m interested in, though, is getting back into a routine of eating small meals again and simpler snacks. I used to have healthy cravings for things like yogurt or salads. (In 2015 I was like. Addicted to a good salad!) anyway. a lot of this is, yes, motivated by a desire to be slimmer or achieve a more “desirable” body type. I think that maybe a part of me wants to work on my extreme aversion to cooking but I think that’s a lot more than I care to unpack right now, you know?

I think the goal is. I am not happy with my body for various reasons. there are different things that displease me about it, whether it’s my weak knees that interfere with me trying to do cute dance moves, or my poor stamina, or the way that my tummy looks in a dress. I’m interested in working on this but also am nervous about it! so it’s a quiet goal for now. but definitely not an unrealistic one.

[lyrsui]

honestly I don’t know who’s even still active on here among my own followers and then people I’m following. sometimes i wanna clean house and start over on here. i feel like giving some generalized updates and I’m not even sure where to begin with that process!

the main thing is that I’ve been working on a book. not huge news but it’s definitely something! each day i get closer to done with it. it feels like the most stabilizing update i can give.

aside from that ! there’s been some family drama but it’s mostly resolved. I’ve been going through some depressive episodes but that’s kinda normal. I’m in the process of job searching which I’m not excited about. I’ve been taking up some interesting side hustles that I’m not interested in detailing lol. my love life is a roller coaster! as always. i have many crushes or fleeting interests but it doesn’t always materialize. there’s then the general angst of former romantic partners and those complicated relationships. on a regular day, i keep to myself and agonize over my feelings a lot. it’s cute

I’m most active on Twitter, and Instagram. I was really into clubhouse for a few months, then got bored. I scroll tiktok every now and then. I usually only blog on peach but I hate that I can’t search my archives there like I can do here! so that sucks a lot for me.

I guess if people wanted to message me about my life with questions, I’d answer! but in general not even sure what there is to say 😭

[lyrsui]

[lyrsui]

The Mermaid (2016).