madefate

[madefate]

updated my most muse list ! finally took off some muses that i really wish i was in the headspace for but aren't breaking the hyperfixation. it's honestly mostly hellaverse now w / a sprinkling of fire emblem & o.w. !

#( ooc. ) #( housekeeping. ) #eventually my muse will come back from the war ! #and obviously ALL muses are available i'm just sort of obeying the brain waves rn

[madefate]

average mammon enjoyers circa age 14

#hh tw #( blitz. ) #q.

[madefate]

um i just saw a tiktok & had to rush in, winded, exhausted to say that both blitz and moxxie were warrior cats fans, and if moxxie ever found out that blitz was too he'd kill them both -

#hh tw #( blitz. ) #did blitz learn to read to function in society ?? #NO he learned just enough to read warrior cats

[madefate]

some mental health discussions & headcanons ! under the cut just in case. don't reblog !

i 100% play blitz with borderline personality disorder. i could see it being somewhat genetic through cash, but also the environment alone of constant neglect & abandonment, having to fight to survive was a huge contributing factor. blitz's stability in that family was completely conditional, and only moreso the sicker tilla got and the less she could protect him & barbie. the symptoms that manifest to the highest degree are:

efforts to avoid real or perceived abandonment, such as plunging headfirst into relationships—or ending them just as quickly.

a distorted and unstable self-image or sense of self.

impulsive and often dangerous behaviors, such as spending sprees, unsafe sex, substance misuse, reckless driving, and binge eating.

in the current timeline, he manages his symptoms much more effectively & they're less impactful day to day - and yes, he is in therapy, he started after adopting loona - but over the years he has consistently self sabotaged in response to the intensity of his emotions and fear of abandonment. he 100% split on verosika at the end of their relationship - and i still don't think it was particularly healthy on either of their parts, but the second he thought that the relationship could become more real and she might leave him eventually, he imploded and burned that bridge hard.

he also c-ptsd. again, i see this as very much affected and fostered by his environment growing up, and the cycles he threw himself into as a young adult. in particular, he manifests:

difficulty controlling your emotions

feeling very angry or distrustful towards the world

feeling as if you are permanently damaged or worthless

he also experiences some physical / psychosomatic symptoms of recurring headaches / migraines. he doesn't traditionally have too many full flashbacks outside of sensory hallucinations (smelling smoke, usually), but he does sometimes dissociate - particularly when alone - and he does deal with panic attacks.

therapy helps! like, a lot. he's not the most forthcoming, and he's not the easiest patient, but he made a real commitment to be healthier and work on healing to give loona a solid place to call home. he hasn't considered medication - yet, at least.

#hh tw #( blitz hc. ) #like textbook DEFINITION honestly.

[madefate]

"First Time" (stolitzweek)

There always a first time for everything.

#hh tw #( blitz. ) #q.

[madefate]

↪     𝑴𝑶𝑹𝑩𝑰𝑫 ᶜᵘʳᶤᵒˢᶤᵗʸ .    (  a  collection  of  various unsorted question prompts .  adjust  phrasing  as  necessary .   will  be  updated  frequently .  )

are you kidding me ?

[ name ] ,  what just happened ?

hey !  what’d you do that for ?

did you plan on ever telling me ?

do you want to tell me the truth ,  this time ?

you seriously think i could’ve done this ?

did you know about this ?

[ name ] ,  what were you thinking ?!

can we talk ?  alone ?

why are you doing all of this ?

it can’t be that bad ,  right ?

haven’t you heard the stories ?

who did this to you ?

what are you insinuating ?

what did you think was gonna happen ?!

you think i could do something like that ?

who do you think you are ?

why won’t you let me help you ?

do you have any evidence of that ?

can we put away our differences for a second ?

where have you been ? 

is that  …  blood ?

what’s your problem ?

are you real ?

where’s your sense of adventure ?

would you kill for me ?

you’re  [ name ] ,  aren’t you ?

why can’t you just let it go ?

do you want me to stay ?

what if we left  …  ran away ?

what else was i supposed to do ?

how did you get this scar ?

could you give me a hand with this ?

do you ever stop talking ?

you’ve never done this before ,  have you ?

where do you think you’re going ?

how many fingers am i holding up ?

what can i say to make it better ?

why can’t we all just get along ?

can i stay the night ?

what’s that supposed to mean ?

where did your common sense go ?

you seriously don’t believe me ?

what aren’t you telling me ?

do you have a minute ?

why are you lying ?

you’re gonna walk away from this ?

where am i supposed to go ?

can we stop and think about this rationally ?

how long has it been since you’ve slept ?

why can’t we be civil about this ?

what makes you so special ?

where is all of this coming from ?

how are we gonna get out of here ?

you’ll never leave me ,  right ?

were you in on this ?

care to join me for a bit ?

shows what you know ,  doesn’t it ?

do you want to get out of here ?

what were you expecting to happen ?

what are you working on ?

i can tell you’re upset ,  what happened ?

when can i see you again ?

where do we go from here ?

can you sit up for me ?

how long have you been awake ?

what are you getting out of this ?

can we put this behind us ?

where are you ?  nobody’s heard from you .

how can i make this go away ?

were you following me ?

where does it hurt ?  show me .

[ name ] ,  what the hell ?

hey  …  can i ask you something ?

you’re not gonna tell me where we’re going ?

really ?  you’re gonna do that right here ?

are you even listening to me ?

we can help each other ,  right ?

hey  …  did you hear that ?

you have no idea who i am ,  do you ?

how long have you known ?

what exactly are you asking me to do ?

how was i supposed to know that ?

are you new around here ?

can you stop and listen to me for a second ?

do you think there’s something wrong with me ?

what ,  you think i’m not qualified ?

why did you help me ?

can you just look at me ,  please ?

what can i do to convince you ?

where did we go wrong ?

oh my god ,  are you bleeding ?

why the long face ?

are you trying to get yourself killed ?

what do you make of this ?

how much do you wanna bet ?

you’re sure this will work ?

why are you so concerned about me ?

what are you trying to prove ?

did you ever care about me ?

are you drunk ?

isn’t this amazing ?

how long have you been standing there ?

what are you suggesting ?

why are you such a pessimist ?

did you know them ?

can we call it a day ?

where did you come from ?

#( memes tag. )

[madefate]

NEW LVL UP PRINT IS EVERYTHING

#hh tw #( blitz. ) #( loona. ) #OH THIS IS IT THO

[madefate]

recovering from some work shit, but please feel free to send me random things ! i'm gonna try to tackle some drafts, too, but the inbox is probably easier for me right now :')

#( ooc. ) #i am! exhausted #apprently i saved this as a draft ??? what in the fuckin world. #just fyi i am always accepting random stuff !!!! if i don't answer it's literally just spoons

[madefate]

their height difference is everything to me!!

#hh tw #( blitz. ) #q.

[madefate]

the lights are on but nobody's home.

sneak peek of my next chibies 🥺

#hh tw #( blitz. ) #he's GAY he's good at MUSIC he's very interesting #q.

[madefate]

Helluva Boss + Text Posts

[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] [16] [17] 18

#hh tw #( blitz. ) #q.

[madefate]

#hh tw #( blitz. ) #o you !! #q.

[madefate]

From his periphery, Blitz watches Stolas fluff up a little bit, and he has to hide his grin. Something warm flares in his chest - he'd meant it; it's easy to fuck up and then say fuck it and just bail. But despite the pressure and the world being kind of a shit place, Stolas always seems to be trying. He always has a soft word and a gentle hug for Octavia, and that - that goes a long fucking way.

Blitz does snort a little when Stolas waves off the thought of paying like it's a matter of course. Well - good. Good ! That's, uh - huh. That's kind of a weird feeling that Blitz opts to ignore in favor of a broader laugh when Stolas fumbles entirely with the phone. Honestly, he hadn't meant to shove it that hard - call it a reflex, to dodge the questions that set off signal flares in his nervous system, warning of danger.

He thinks he's off the hook from whatever Stolas had been about to say, busying himself grabbing things from the closet - then flash of magic catches his eye, the dancing lights cascading around the entire living room. Blitz freezes, arms full of extra blankets and their extra pillow, half turned in time to watch Stolas summon actual mattresses like it's nothing - oh, right. To him, it probably is.

Blitz is - not embarrassed. He's not ashamed. - Right ? His tail flickers hesitantly behind him, and he's quiet for a long breath - then immediately lapses into an easy smile and kicks the closet door closed behind him with practiced, feigned indifference. ❝ Well, if I'd known you came with turn down service, I'd have invited you over a while ago, ❞ he jokes, sauntering over to casually drop the linens on the mattress top, looking just past Stolas' gaze.

Don't overreact, he tells himself, forcing that shitty, defensive habit down - the one that wants to rear up, spitting in defense of a pallet on the floor because it's more comfortable than hard wood or park benches - but Blitz knows it's just a way to create distance. A way to deny the fact that Stolas is right, this is more comfortable and it is helping. And if he wants to fuck, this'll be a lot easier on Blitz's back - probably Stolas' too. So chill the fuck out !

He crawls back on the pushed away sofa, tilting his head as he watches in fascination as Stolas scrolls through the menu properly - and the noises he makes. Is he even aware of them ? It's - cute.

❝ Do you expect me to say no to free dessert ? There's a better place to get from - lemme know when you're done and I'll show you. - What, uh, what kind of stuff do you even like eating, anyway ? ❞

stolas preens a bit at the acknowledgement that he's a good dad. he's grown far too used to his wife calling him every bad thing in the book -- the bad dad insults always hits him hardest , especially when he knows he's been so preoccupied lately. it's nice to be praised by someone who actually knows him. knows whats in his heart.

he simply waves a limp wrist at the idea of paying ----- he has the money , why not spend it on someone else ? especially someone like blitzø , who brings so much to his life. so he just keeps looking around while blitzø goes about his ordering , not giving any input one way or the other. HE TRUSTS HIS JUDGEMENT &* TASTES !

phone is pushed into his face , causing a flutter of feathers to puff out at his neck as he scrambles to grab the device. ❛   blitz ----- ! i can ---- ❜ he starts to object , but the other is up &* about already. he blinks wide eyes , glancing at the phone , then over at the imp. he doesn't say anything as he waves a hand , causing the objects taking up space in the living room to be enveloped in a blue , starry mist. the furniture shifts out of the way , then two mattresses appear , stacked atop each other for the height. nothing particularly fancy or regal , but cozy -- &* bare. ❛   we can use your pillows &* blankets. this just seems more comfortable than a palette on the floor. ❜

he smiles to himself , pleased with his contribution , then looks back to the phone. a few excited little bird noises slip him as he picks what he would like to try --- which is a lot , considering he hasn't eaten from here before. ❛   we should spring for dessert as well ! i am craving something sweet. ❜

#hh tw #( ic. ) #( blitz. ) #maimedaffair #they're GAY they're BABIES they're STUPID

[madefate]

@fizzarollitm & @wcshedup how did we get here -

#hh tw #( cursed. ) #merry wednesday - #precious :')

[madefate]

It's such a strange, unsettling feeling, to not quite know where he sits with Fizz - hating each other, ( or, more accurately on Blitz's end, hating only himself ) was at least something to cling onto. There were rules: don't look at Fizz's posters, don't buy his products. Ignore the robo-Fizz at his short stint at LooLoo Land; keep the memories hidden in his photos app because he's not allowed to cradle them. Get through the day, don't die, the usual bullshit.

And when they were young ? Fuck, it was like breathing. Even when his intestines were tied in knots as his hormones kicked in and his emotions only swelled over time, it was still them: Fizz and Blitz. One of the three people in the entire world that Blitz cared about - but the only one that kept him company in his dreams at night, or had him running to his mom to help him spell a letter correctly all the way through.

When Fizz doesn't pull away - when he reciprocates the gestures and turns his hand to hold on - Blitz could scream, cry. It feels like a sign that he might not have fucked up so spectacularly - or some unearned forgiveness. It's not absolute; worry is still threading through each heartbeat, with Fizz still slumped in on himself, his light dim in a way that breaks Blitz's fucking heart.

❝ Don't have to - ? ❞ It's genuine confusion - it sounds like there's more that Fizz stops himself from saying, but Blitz doesn't have enough to put the pieces together. He turns a little, tries to focus more on Fizz than on the sensation of his finger against Blitz's palm because he knows what's the priority right now, and it's not the touch he's been starving for.

The joke falls so flat in a way that Blitz does understand. As someone versed in deflection in all of its dialects, humor especially, he hears the sound of someone trying and failing to push something away. His stomach twists as he leans in. ❝ Fizz - I wasn't kidding. Look, I get that no one can change the way you feel about yourself but you - believe me, I get it. And I know I'm probably the last person you want to hear anything like this from, but you've always been perfect exactly how you are. Even when you're trying to push yourself and find all the shit you've done wrong - it was true then, and it's true now. You are enough. As is. ❞

he doesn't like this. none of it -- especially since his brain is telling him blitz is lying. doesn't like that he can't just take the jokes &* bounce off of them. everything's been so off kilter since he quit. FACING DEMONS ( literally &* metaphorically ) MEANT ACTUALLY WORKING THROUGH SHIT APPARENTLY ! total bullshit. would not recommend. where blitz feels guilt , fizz feels ... he's not even sure ! SHAME ? he believed his best friend would leave him for dead ; wholeheartedly believed that for fifteen years ! &* now he's just supposed to look at blitz &* not feel like shit for all the awful things he's thought ? fizz is just supposed to listen to blitz talk sweet &* even attempt to hold his hand even when fizz hadn't stopped to consider that blitz got hurt in that fire too ? ----- god , when did he start feeling nauseous ?

but blitz is calling him hot ! touching him ! things he'd cried himself to sleep dreaming about for his entire childhood ! &* all fizz can think clearly is that blitz is just lying to cheer him up.

❛   you don't have to ------ you know ... ❜ lips purse as his brows knit. emotions are disorienting. especially since he started bottling them up all those years ago. he'd promised himself he'd come out of that fire stronger -- no more crying &* whining. he wouldn't have blitz around anymore to stand up for him. a sigh , then he's slumping against the wall with a frown. he flips his hand over under blitz's as his gaze falls to them. one clawed finger traces along the length of blitz's palm. ❛   nevermind. i know. i'm the hottest girl at the party. ❜ his inflection brings to mind the imagery of a balloon deflating. it's said like a joke , but it's so glaringly clear he doesn't agree -- doesn't have the energy to play.

#hh tw #( ic. ) #( blitz. ) #maimedaffair

[madefate]

"that shitheel might have gotten away from us, but at least we got a cool new rifle out of it! how did Stolas feel when you told him about the stunt Striker tried to pull?" to blitz from millie lol @gethellbcnt

❝ Yeah - extremely cool. Extremely fuckin' lethal, too - we're gonna have to get a new safe, I don't want this thing anywhere near where someone else can get their mitts on it. ❞ Blitz keeps his voice smooth and neutral and casual; he's currently focusing on filling Millie's cast with a very special episode of his as-of-yet untitled horse comic - and has obligingly centered the Millie and Moxxie, horses, of course. It's a tour de force, if he does say so himself, and a great distraction.

His nerves are still screaming in the wake of everything that had gone down, but if there's one art Blitz has truly perfected over the years, it's bullshitting his way through the hard stuff. Case in point: Millie, Moxxie, and Loona aren't completely down and out, and he plans on keeping it that way. Even as dread is still blooming, icy and dead-feeling in his gut at the implications of blessed weaponry - at very nearly losing the only people he cares about because he hadn't been fuckin' fast enough to see through Striker's snake oil.

No, he's not going to worry them. This is something that Blitz can carry - can poke at, puzzle over. He's already spent the last day quietly putting feelers out for any news of a particularly skilled mercenary. Millies second question, though, brings him up a little short - pausing for a moment before he goes back to his feigned carelessness.

❝ Nothing, because he doesn't have to know. He was really fuckin' clear that it wasn't a work trip, so I don't think he'll be inclined to pay us. And it's not going to be a problem - we'll get the fucker soon enough. ❞ Honestly, if Blitz didn't have so much practice keeping the fear out of his voice, he'd be proud of himself. As it stands, though, he'd simply be disappointed if it did bleed out. ❝ More importantly, do you want Millie-horse to have an axe or a hammer ? Because both is greedy, Mills, and it leaves no room for character development. ❞

#hh tw #( ic. ) #( answered. ) #( blitz. ) #gethellbcnt #blitz ??? deflecting through humor ??? oh NEVER.

[madefate]

" boy,  that  sounds  complicated. “ ( for blitzø ! ) / @wcshedup

❝ Nah, it's like - okay so it started transactionally. ❞ Blitz waves around the fry he grabbed, gesturing wildly with it before shoving it in his mouth. ❝ I knew he had this fancy magic book - oh shit, right, remember that first kid that Dad sold me to ? The prince ? That was him! Well, at the end of that day, we were outside and he was telling me about this magic book diary thing that could take him to the living world and that shit makes an impression let me tell you. ❞

Blitz's voice has a cheerful lilt, a little devil may care, and what he doesn't admit are the dreams he'd had as a child: a colorful world of sinners before they died, a strange new place with different air that didn't reek of desperation and smog, with Barbie and Fizz and Tilla - their father far behind them, down below in the brimstone.

No, for now, mostly for the sake of how much he wants to wrap himself up in this moment with Barbie sitting with him, eating lunch with him, letting him talk - he keeps it light. Entertaining.

Please stay.

❝ So of course when I.M.P. needed a real gimmick to help it break away from the pack - lightbulb moment. I sneak in, but he catches me - but get this, he fuckin' remembered me. And he thought it was something out of one of his bodice rippers or somethin' so I ... y'know ... well he was happy with that night. Yadda, yadda, yadda we set up our whole thing, and for one night of sex a month I got this entire fuckin' book that let me kill up top. Simple ! ❞ Blitz picks up another fry and waves that one, too, enthusiastically before devouring it.

❝ But, y'know he's ... he's good, Barb. Like a good person. He's great with his kid, cares a lot - saved all of our asses before. I figured that it couldn't have been ... real. With him being him and me being me. But he - stayed. He gave me space when I needed it. He cared. Cares. I - ❞

Blitz glances down, pressing a claw tip against the table, giving them both the grace of not having to look into each other's eyes when he trails off into something more serious. ❝ - I missed you. I'm glad you're here, Barbie. ❞

#( ic. ) #( answered. ) #( blitz. ) #hh tw #wcshedup #slips this into my verse w/ helldustedstories #to make it MORE complicated. #he LOVES HIS SISTER TT-TT