SoleSu: I think I’m doing quite well for someone who’s internally breaking down every second of every day.
Kellogg: I knew you were coming. But you will never obliterate me, because I am unoblite— unoble— unobitababl… You can’t kill me.
Hancock, holding up a photo: This is the Dead Sea. The saltiest place on earth… second only to Nick Valentine.
SoleSu: Did you know the moon landing was fake?
Hancock: You believe in the moon?
SoleSu: If there’s anything being frozen taught me, it’s to sleep as much as possible
SoleSu: That way, you don’t have to face the horrible disaster your life has become.
Kellogg: I know 200 ways to kill a man.
SoleSu: You could glue an open jar of rats to his face, then blowtorch the other side of the jar so the rats have to eat their way out through his face.
Valentine: Hancock has been trying to convince me ‘gwen’ is short for ‘gwenjamin’ for the past thirty minutes and I’m three seconds away from snapping his neck
(The Sole Survivor and Hancock are running away from a building)
SoleSu: Well, I don’t think that could have gone any worse!
(The building explodes in a mushroom cloud)
*Preston loses SoleSu in a crowd*
Preston, looking around: Babe, where are you?
*A bit later*
Preston: Alright. New plan.
Preston: PRESTON GARVEY SUCKS!
*Combat Ready starts playing from a distance*
Preston, smiling fondly: Found them.
Navigator: Boom? Can you elaborate?
SoleSu, firing the USS Constitution’s cannons: BOOOOOM!
Deacon: I should be the Duolingo owl. I can scare people into speaking other languages
Curie, carrying medical supplies:
Deacon, dropping from the ceiling: Hey Doc.
Curie, dropping the medical supplies: *panicked French noises*
Kellogg: In case you haven’t noticed, you’ve fallen right into my trap.
Preston: You can’t trap justice! It’s an idea, a belief!
Kellogg: Even the most heartfelt belief can get corroded over time.
Preston: Justice is a non-corrosive metal!
Kellogg: But metals can be melted by the heat of revenge!
Preston: Revenge is best served cold!
Kellogg: But it can easily be reheated in the microwave of evil!
Preston: Well, I think your warranty is about to expire!
Kellogg: Maybe I got an extended warranty!
Preston: Warranties are invalid if used beyond their intended purpose!
SoleSu: Ugh, girls, girls, you’re both pretty! Can I kill him now?
Cait: Catch These Hands! With your hands. We’re holding hands now. This is nice
Fahrenheit: Hancock, who is nearly 37 years olf, just whispered, “Oh, this is going to be so fucking efficient,” before spraying air freshener directly into the ceiling fan and proceeding to cough his guts out when it blew back in his face.
X6-88: Anything that comes out of your mouth is either stupid or dangerous, and should be disregarded.
Hancock: The Institute.
The Institute: Look, we made synths based on a pre-war child’s pure Genetic code, and raised him with our ideals!
SoleSu: You fucked up a perfectly good child is what you did. Look at him, he’s got apathy.
Piper: So what’s it like working with Ellie?
Nick: Once, I asked her for some oil while she was pissed at me, and she brought me a bowl full of plants and said “wait.”
*Power goes out*
SoleSu: It’s so dark…
Preston: Don’t worry, I’ve got this *stomps feet, sketchers light up*
X6-88: I don’t need love. It is a waste of time.
Also x6-88: I will literally kill for you if you give me 1 (one) ounce of affection
Hancock: I don’t usually ask astrology questions but I really wonder — why do I always catch myself having conversations in my head? Is it because I’m a gemini? I talk to myself about literally everything and sometimes it’s suffocating…
Mama Murphy: It’s called thinking