my friend was testing perfumes out at the store and she sniffed a bottle and anounced "ngl this bitch kind of sucks" The girl at the counter suddenly looked really sad, and my friend was like "I'm sorry, I wasn't talking about you." And the girl looked up and said "No don't worry, I didn't think that, but I just crushed a ladybug with my shoe" We both took a peak over the counter. she'd stepped on a red m&m
if u ever find a genie and you’re really craving a dessert that looks like this:
do NOT say “i’d like a lifetime supply of raspberry crowns”
while this is, in fact, the name of the pastry, it’s ALSO the name of a species of wasp for some reason. the genie, being a nasty trickster, will no doubt give you a bunch of wasps.
today one of the student workers at my job told me that if she’s struggling remembering something important in her course work she’ll wait until her professor asks a question related to that topic during a lecture and then she’ll purposefully raise her hand and answer it wrong because, and I quote, ‘the combined shame and embarrassment of getting an answer wrong in front of more than a hundred of your peers will make sure that you’ll never forget what the right answer actually was’ and if that is not the most next level balls to the wall bonkers extrovert thing I’ve ever heard then I don’t know what is