poemsnotpromises

[poemsnotpromises]

A brief q and a.

If you always thought

you'd die long before

a single line

touched your face

what are you

supposed to do

when time catches up

and the gray

transforms your temple

somehow older,

unrecognizable

until there's someone

else's face staring back

in your hand mirror?

---

It is true,

I used to have potential,

but I waited around

over 10 years

just to forget

how to talk to you

not doped out

of my mind.

---

And when it's all done

but there's still so much

to say, do you choke

on your words

or commit to them?

You don't commit

to shit.

---

At last, at last

oh at last, a

definitive

answer.

#poetry #poem #spilled ink #rejectscorner #creative writing #alt lit #burningmuse #poets on tumblr #writerscreed #my brain is fucking stupid

[poemsnotpromises]

Oh, the disappointment!

Once I swallowed

so many seeds

that my stomach

sprouted crimson

poppies and

carried me off

to sleep for ten years,

adrift among them

like I was one myself,

resting softly

atop a red sea.

---

The real me

is much less

interesting,

far less potent

than I once claimed

to be, too mild

to be of much use

to anyone

who doesn't get it.

---

I didnt get it.

I do now.

Do you know what I mean?

You do,

you do.

#poetry #spilled ink #creative writing #poem #alt lit #rejectscorner #tw: drugs #tw drugs #burningmuse #writerscreed

[poemsnotpromises]

Where have I gone?

I live in fear again.

The knowing is worse

than not knowing

but being miserable

anyway,

like the poet

who scowls

when she should be

happy, like the way

you grind me to dust

as soon as I get

complacent

about your love

when everything in me

is screaming

this is wrong.

---

The real threat

is much more

insidious,

invisible, yet

could take me out

at any time. Yes,

I live in fear again

but I don't know

what for.

---

Yes I've had some

problems, exposure

through film negatives,

the way you used to

turn all negatives

to positives

with just a hunch.

---

I don't want to fall asleep

and never wake.

I wish I had

more pills to take.

---

I am tired.

#poetry #poem #creative writing #alt lit #spilled ink #rejectscorner #twcpoetry #twc #original poetry #original poem #burningmuse #writerscreed #poemsfromtheendoftheworld #poemsfromquarantine

[poemsnotpromises]

Lies.

When I'm alone

I whisper what

I really want

three times in a row

just in case

theres someone

cosmic listening

who gives a shit

as I rehash the past

and it blurs

with the present

where nothing is

possible.

---

if you cant even

tell yourself the truth

who can you trust

when it all falls apart?

My ghost haunts

these streets,

those sheets

you curl up in at night

like an illness

you've spent two years

running from.

---

I will never recover

from my own

stupidity or you

and that is exactly

the fucking problem.

#poetry #poem #creative writing #alt lit #spilled ink #rejectscorner #burningmuse #writerscreed #no one hates me like i hate me

[poemsnotpromises]

A thumbs up it is, then.

Two thumbs up

for how many years

I fucked up,

ten more

for how fucked up

I am now.

---

No one has even asked

if I'm okay but

rest assured

I'm in abject terror

every goddamn time

I shut my eyes

and see your face.

---

Twenty thumbs up

just for that alone,

alone like me,

eyes wide open,

heart closed

for business.

#poetry #poem #creative writing #spilled ink #alt lit #rejectscorner #writerscreed #burningmuse #twcpoetry #poets corner #poetryriot

[poemsnotpromises]

Living with it.

I view my self worth

in pills, as many

as it takes

to hollow out my

insides like

a long dead

tree trunk.

---

I'm just trying

to forget you

on my own terms.

#poetry #poem #creative writing #alt lit #spilledink #rejectscorner #poets corner #poets on tumblr #tumblr poets #twcpoetry #poetryriot #writerscreed #burningmuse #tw drugs #more of my usual i guess

[poemsnotpromises]

Fears.

Don't forget

you used to pretend

we were cool

long after

I went off

the fucking deep end

if I have to

still pretend

I don't remember

the way you'd always

grab my hand

in your sleep

like it was last

fucking

night

instead of

a couple thousand

ago.

#poetry #spilled ink #creative writing #poem #alt lit #rejectscorner #poetryriot #burningmuse #writerscreed #heres to you and the myriad of other reasons i hate myself

[poemsnotpromises]

All hope abandoned.

You're goddamn right

I am angry

I can't remember

security, meanwhile

you sleep soundly

at night

with a song

in your head

in all my dreams

and all of my dreams

are of you.

---

To know yourself

does not mean

you have to like it.

---

It just means

you don't have to

wait in line

if you want

a front row seat

to the slaughter.

#poetry #spilled ink #creative writing #poem #alt lit #rejectscorner #poetryriot #burningmuse #writerscreed

[poemsnotpromises]

Changes.

When you forget

me I promise

not to shed a tear

if only you

sedate me.

---

I am like

a car crash

in the summer

when no one's around

to hear me scream.

In winter

I adjust

accordingly

and scream

whenever

necessary.

---

Let me stumble

back home.

Welcome me

without fanfare.

---

I am so sorry.

I just didn't know.

I just didn't know.

#poetry #spilled ink #creative writing #poem #alt lit #rejectscorner #poetryriot #writerscreed #burningmuse

[poemsnotpromises]

Carrying on.

I remember the room

where we met

like I could've lived

there forever

if only you didn't

leave.

---

When one door shuts

so does another

and another.

It will never be

enough and

neither will you

no matter how many

times I batted my eyes

in your general

direction.

---

You get what you give

back, which explains

my current position

in your gutter.

---

There's just too much

death and no way

around it

other than through.

#poetry #poem #alt lit #creative writing #original poetry #original poem #spilled ink #rejectscorner #poetryriot #burningmuse #writerscreed #im so fucking tired of death #ive lost 6 people i love in under a year and only one was covid

[poemsnotpromises]

Now you're a loss.

Your absence

never felt like loss

until I realized

you

can't

go

back

in

time,

no

matter

what hell

comes your way.

#poetry #poem #creative writing #alt lit #spilled ink #rejectscorner #poets corner #poetryriot #burningmuse #writerscreed #someone died that i always thought id reunite with and i hope he's at peace now

[poemsnotpromises]

Shameless.

Practice self defense

inside me,

kicking and screaming

and pounding against

this emptiness

in me, the vast chasm,

my body a great

dark void

you are paid

to navigate. Thrust

harder, make me

cry out like

we are the only two

people left

inside and

we have to get out

soon.

---

If all we do is fuck

there wont be time

for anyone else

to notice that

not only did

we leave together

we never showed up

in the first place.

---

It's all or nothing

baby, and

I've come prepared

to take it all.

#poetry #poem #creative writing #alt lit #spilled ink #rejectscorner #original poem #original poetry #poets on tumblr #poets corner #twcpoetry #burningmuse #writerscreed #poetryriot #tw sex

[poemsnotpromises]

In someone else's gutter.

I don't have a

better self, just

this shitty model

balanced

on a shelf, yet

somehow

I am still

the optimist

even when

I am kicking and

fucking screaming.

---

Things never turn out

the way we wanted them

to, for instance

I am sure you never thought

I'd be sleep walking

cardboard mazes

of tiny screaming faces

night and day,

day and night,

never finding

relief.

---

While it seems true

that I've smoked myself

stupid, with me

you'd have drank

yourself to death

and never made it

half this far, and

hey. Now you don't

have to watch me

die here

---

beneath these paper

sheets, young and

stupid, or

some old genius

it doesn't matter

anymore.

---

Never has.

This isn't your gutter.

Not this time.

#poetry #poem #creative writing #spilled ink #alt lit #poetryriot #rejectscorner #twcpoetry #burningmuse #writerscreed #i am garbage

[poemsnotpromises]

Recycle, reuse, repeat.

You liked me better

when I was less

bitter, still

shiny, new,

less sore.

---

I liked you better

awed by me

when I wouldn't

have known

what to do

with you

in the first place.

---

Things can sour,

it's what you do

with the rot

that becomes

the reality

or the compost.

#poetry #spilled ink #creative writing #alt lit #poem #rejectscorner #twcpoetry #twc #tumblr poets #poets on tumblr #poets corner #poetryriot #burningmuse #writerscreed #you havent got one of these in a while and i hope it's very clear to you that it's yours

[poemsnotpromises]

SNRI Blues.

Here,

take this fog

and replace it

with a new one,

one you cant

crawl out from

and by the way,

if you ever do

and change

your mind, well,

that's not your

choice to make,

pal.

---

You will burn

and itch

and never run out

of places to scratch

until you find out

what for.

---

Your bones will

still ache. So will

your broken heart

as you stare up

at the big wide world

from the gutter

you belong in.

---

It's better this way.

It's what you deserve.

But it's not,

it's not,

it is not.

#poetry #poem #alt lit #creative writing #spilled ink #rejectscorner #poets on tumblr #poets of tumblr #poetryriot #twc #twcpoetry #burningmuse #writerscreed #mental illness #I'm crazy #no seriously cymbalta fucked me up

[poemsnotpromises]

Give and take.

When I'm alone

I make due trying

to fit myself inside

these paper walls

and wait to see

how long it takes you

to even notice my

chewing and

clawing.

---

I've been masked

for so long that

the ones I was born

with no longer seem

like enough

now that I've been

unmade and

recycled over

and over again

here at the end

of the world.

---

I still cant

make eye contact.

---

Look,

I may be a shadow

of a whisper

on your wall

elongated

by the moon, but

I thought you were

the fucking sun.

#poetry #spilled ink #creative writing #poem #rejectscorner #alt lit #poetryriot #poets on tumblr #original poem #original writing #burning muse #poets corner #writerscreed #poemsfromtheendoftheworld #i dont know how to get over it and part of me hates you for it

[poemsnotpromises]

For long lost ghosts.

I hope you know

wherever you are

that I didn't know

it was the last time

the last time

I got to see you.

---

I've spent

my whole life

crying for ghosts,

never considering

you wouldn't want to

haunt me anymore.

---

We both know

I was never worth scaring.

I only wanted to be.

#poetry #spilled ink #creative writing #rejectscorner #poem #alt lit #poetryriot #poets on tumblr #tumblr poems #burningmuse #writerscreed #i dont know how i lost so many family members in under six months god damn this is grief #jennas talking about ghosts again #please haunt me #twcpoetry