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C A C K L I N G

daryl: y/n and i don’t use pet names

rick: i see. hey daryl, what’s another word for an infant?

daryl: uh, baby?

y/n: [from the other room] yes, honey?

daryl:

rick: don’t ever lie to me again.

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Reblog if it's okay to befriend you, ask questions, ask for advice, rant, vent, let something off your chest, or just have a nice chat.

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put a "∞" in my ask box and I'll shuffle my music player and give you my favorite lyric from the song that comes up.

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Hello! Can I request number 56 - "Would you just hold still?" for Obi-Wan x female reader? I was thinking one where Obi-Wan and the reader go undercover at a club (the reader is not a Jedi) and she drinks too much so he has to take her home and unfortunately the criminal they're looking for escapes. With a super fluffy ending please. Thank you!

Intoxicated -

(Obi-Wan Kenobi x Reader)

summary: you and obi-wan are sent to a club to capture a criminal, only your drinking seems to change the mission objective all together.

requested by

(credit to gif owner)

warnings: drinking (it's basically just fluff)

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"Okay, I think you've had quite enough," a voice from your left shoulder announced. Smirking as you continued to lean over the bar, you merely shook your head and knocked back the last of the vibrant liquid in your glass. He couldn't take it away if your gullet got there first.

"Oh you Jedi," you mused. "Amusement still seems to be a foreign concept." With a shit-eating grin, you spun your slightly stumbling form around to face your accomplice.

Neon lights pouring down from the ceiling above his head, Obi-Wan stood before you, arms folded tight across his chest. Figure draped in layers of robes, his face projected an expression less of anger, more of amusement. Looking back upon the moment, you would have been able to understand why.

It had been a while since you had been to a club, especially one as lively as the one you found yourself in. You couldn't help yourself. One drink led to another... and another... and soon enough you found yourself unsteady on your feet.

Worst of all, you would have been lying if you had said you weren't enjoying yourself.

Especially how smug Obi-Wan appeared.

"Must I remind you, my dear, that we have a job to do." His voice was barely above a whisper, but somehow managed to penetrate the pulsating music from the speakers. Intoxicated as you were, you missed the sly term of endearment.

"Hey!" you protested. "I am on task." Saying so, you narrowed your eyes and gazed about the room. Everything seemed a blur; despite the haze, you could still make out the general's look. He did not look impressed.

"You, (Y/N), are barely on your feet." Two strong hands came toward you, one placed on your shoulder, the other steadying your left hip. "I should just take you home."

Immediately you began to shake your head. His touch was amplified by a thousand. In that moment, you realised he had never touched your before. Yes you had been friends for a while, but never like this.

Perhaps it was because he knew you wouldn't remember much of tonight in the morning. At least he hoped so...

"Let's get you covered up."

"General Kenobi, I am perfectly modest." That came with a giggle when the man addressed raised an eyebrow. He was right. Part of your cover was to blend in with the other club-goers, which (though you regret agreeing to it) included such a gab as the other frequenters. Consequently, you stood before him, a short, strapless, silver dress wrapped around your torso, a pair of matching heels, and your hair done up in such an updo it would make Padme proud. Across your eyes were silver streaks, accentuating the colour residing in your gaze.

Regardless of your protests, the protector in Obi-Wan dominated his feelings and he removed his cloak.

"Here," he muttered, offering it to you.

Like a child, you pouted and shook your head. In your drunken stupor, you decided it would be wise to test his patience.

"(Y/N) this has been a very long night. Now, it would be helpful if you would just do as I asked."

You were having none of it, and as you slipped out of his grasp, you attempted to run away from him. Though impaired as you were, you soon found the room spinning. Making it only a few feet away from him, Obi-Wan was quick to catch you before you gave yourself a concussion.

"Must you test me?" he murmured.

You writhed in his arms as he wrestled you back to your feet.

"Maker, would you just hold still?" As your playfulness twisted into fatigue, you gave into his will and allowed him to drape the cloak over your shoulders.

"Silly Obi-Wan," you sighed, though the warmth that radiated from the material was extremely comfortable.

"Oh yes, silly Obi-Wan," he breathed out in agreement. "I'm still taking you home."

"Hey but I was having fun!" you protested, delivering a light slap to his shoulder.

"I think you've had quite enough fun for one night." He escorted you out of the door of the club and into the back alley. Just as he did so, a man raced past, feet travelling at the speed of light. As soon as he had been seen, he was gone. Gritting his teeth, Obi-Wan knew it was the criminal you both had been sent to retrieve. If he had wanted to, he knew he would have been able to catch him; however at that moment, he was the foundation of your balance. Removing such would have caused you to topple over. Deciding your safe return was more important, Obi-Wan let out a small sigh and raised your unsteady form up off the ground bridal style.

"Hey! I can walk! I am not a child!"

"You're certainly acting like one."

Obi-Wan began to walk back in the direction of your home. Whilst doing so, you put your hand out and began to run your fingers across his rough beard.

"Stop that."

"Well if you're gonna call me a child I might as well be one."

"You're going to be the death of me, (Y/N)."

"Oh shut up, you love me really."

"Maker."

-

this is the first fic i've posted here so please be gentle :))

hope you enjoyed.

requests are open.

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Tagged by the talented @saiyanprincessswanie

Tagging: @kishara-hime @dianamolloy @titty-teetee

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lock screen vs last song

taggin whoever wanna do this!

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get to know me game

i was tagged by @longitud-de-onda -  thank you! 💖

Rule is to tag 21 people you wanna get to know better. (but i’m not gonna tag that many sorry)

nickname: i don’t really have a nickname but @dindjarindiaries did say i am ceo of statesman so i will accept that title and any nicknames you guys would like to bestow upon me

real name: elisha

zodiac: gemini sun, cancer rising, libra moon

favorite musicians or bands: oh gosh so many. lord huron, fleetwood mac, neil young, easy giant, and sea wolf have been in heavy rotation lately. also the weeknd and kygo.

favorite sports team: the compton clovers from bring it on lmao

other blogs: none

do I get asks: yes and they are my fave thing ever!

tumblr crushes: everyone i follow but to highlight a few -

@rzrcrst kenzie and her writing was like the reason i stopped lurking on this site and actually made an account and started posting fic at the end of january. she’s amazingly talented, she’s kind and encouraging, and honestly kind of my soul mate like i am so thankful to have found her and i love having someone to discuss writing with all the time.

@coredrive kat is hilarious and super fun to talk to and i love her gifs. she is also an amazing writer and i just love her! even tho she made me spit coffee into my bed from laughing so hard at a text she sent me.

@longitud-de-onda camila is such a sweetheart, she is wise beyond her years and her writing is just breathtaking. i have read her fic “on a universal constant” so many times now, it is truly one of my favorite stories i’ve ever read. and her un veneno series is amazing.

@dindjarindiaries omg molly the ceo of pedro nation and arm as acknowledged by pedro himself on twitter! she is truly a legend and such a sweetheart, her pedro nation dance video is incredible and she’s an amazing writer. also today is her bday please go wish her a happy bday bc she deserves it, she is an absolute gem.

@themandjalorian i just discovered jeni and her amazing stories pretty recently but have already reread some of them multiple times, she captures din and javi so well and she just published the first installment in a din djarin bodyguard au that i am honestly losing my mind over. she’s so talented and so sweet and just awesome.

honestly tho everyone i follow is amazing and wonderful and i could go on forever but i’m just gonna shoutout a couple more people real quick:

@djjarindin @winters-buck @hopelikethesun @madadlorian 💗

lucky numbers: 9

what am I wearing: lululemon crops, gray tank top

dream vacation: road trip across the u.s where i get to visit all the national parks possible

dream car: jack’s bronco

favorite food: pasta

drink of choice: water or cold brew

instruments: drums

languages: english and barely that

celebrity crushes: pedro pascal, oscar isaac, joaquin phoenix

random facts: my dream job would be stunt person

21 tags of people who I’d like to see play along:

not tagging 21 people but anyone tagged above or here is welcome to do this if they want! sorry if i double tag anyone!

@lannister-slings-and-arrows @huliabitch @gooddaykate @hiscyarika @ihaveashield @thisainttheway @ezraslittlebirdie

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Glamour Shots

Tagged by @princessmisery666. Google your first name and glamour shot, then pick the best of the first 5 photos.

Ready? Here goes...

Fabulous.

Tagging @letsby @kitkat-589 @rhyatt-deauxtreve and anybody looking for something fun to do

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This is fun Ha! Thanks for tagging me @bskarsgardlove92!

I tag: @aslongasitsrealtoyou @emmyrosee @mypersonalrambling @just4bill @loveinthemadness And anyone who wants to do it!

Make yours here (link)

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@ cybersoybean on twitter made a back of the head piccrew and I’m obsessed.

Tagging @putainmeuf @bloggideon @dtexo @britt-wie @thedeth @ravenbrenna09 @batmanstolemypony @sanderschmand3r @theonlysharyn @nocluewhatiamdoinghere and anyone who wants to do it!!

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Please help me 🙏🏻

Im seriously having the worst luck..after my abusive uncle kicked my bf, my cat and I out onto the street and ruined our plans of a safe place to go to we have now gotten into a car accident, my uncle sent my bfs unemployment cards back to the sender just to be spiteful so now we have to figure out where we can get mail sent to. He’s currently threatening to throw all my belongings out onto the street if I don’t get them out by Monday and our car is barely drivable so I have to find someone who can help quickly. Everything is an absolute mess and the only good thing so far is that someone got us an Airbnb but it’s only until July 17 and my cat is safe atleast. It’s just been really stressful, my mental and physical health are at an all time low. My head has been pounding since the car accident, I’m heart broken having to be away from my cat, I’m super upset that our car, the only thing we had is now destroyed and the roof over our head is going to be gone in the blink of an eye. We’re having trouble even keeping ourselves fed(which is hard as is since I’ve been having health issues where everything I eat causes me a ton of pain, nausea, sulfur burps etc) and with the virus making a come back jobs are scarce and risking getting it is scary when I have asthma. I really don’t know what to do. We don’t have an address to apply for assistance, unemployment has been taking forever and now we gotta work stuff out with getting my bfs card because of my uncle.

I really need some help to keep the Airbnb for a bit longer so we can sort stuff out(I’m really scared to end back up on the street especially with our car in the shape it is), make our car atleast semi drivable, get food in the fridge because I’m losing a lot of weight quick and my ED is incredibly triggered. I’m just really scared and have nowhere to turn. Please if anyone can help it would be greatly appreciated and once I get unemployment I will pay it forward to others in need 💜.

You’re all beautiful people and I’ve met such kind souls on here during the lowest point of my life.

Venmo: @brianajeannep

Cashapp: $brianapietropaula

PayPal.me/fakelie (my bfs PayPal)

I also have fbpay, zelle, chime and google pay but you’ll have to message me for that

Thank you everyone, I love you 💞

Disclaimer: the things I said about my uncle are true, whether he wants to admit it or not.

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Absolutely TIRED of being stuck in this situation. This year has been hell with losing everything I worked so hard on last year, having to move in with my abusive uncle and now this virus has made it even worse. I’ve lost so much weight thanks to not being able to afford food. My mental health has completely shit the bucket. I’m tired of dealing with my uncles abuse, and the. this morning he locked us out of the house...AGAIN and we’re stuck in the car with nothing and unless he decides to change his mind, we’re stuck. I’m over it..I wish I had anyone to help, but I have no one. I really just want to disappear. I feel like the absolute worst cat mom having to put Eira through this.

***Update: June 5,2020***

I found a safe place to go but have to get enough to get us and our stuff 2 hours away in a car and truck, so if anyone can just help with that I will finally be in a safe place!

I’m sure no one will help, but please if you can even if it’s just to get some food. I just don’t know what the fuck to do right now. Message me if you have any questions 💕

Cashapp: $brianapietropaula

Venmo: @brianajeannep

PayPal: if you have PayPal send me a message! I have one I can use but don’t want to post is publicly

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Absolutely TIRED of being stuck in this situation. This year has been hell with losing everything I worked so hard on last year, having to move in with my abusive uncle and now this virus has made it even worse. I’ve lost so much weight thanks to not being able to afford food. My mental health has completely shit the bucket. I’m tired of dealing with my uncles abuse, and the. this morning he locked us out of the house...AGAIN and we’re stuck in the car with nothing and unless he decides to change his mind, we’re stuck. I’m over it..I wish I had anyone to help, but I have no one. I really just want to disappear. I feel like the absolute worst cat mom having to put Eira through this.

I’m sure no one will help, but please if you can even if it’s just to get some food. I just don’t know what the fuck to do right now. Message me if you have any questions 💕

Cashapp: $brianapietropaula

Venmo: @brianajeannep

PayPal: if you have PayPal send me a message! I have one I can use but don’t want to post is publicly