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literally everything Sam did in his childhood somehow had these horrible consequences while he was just. being a good or normal kid. like. he broke his imaginary friend’s heart. he goes back to his old high school and the person he was closest to killed himself! and he destroyed his bully’s life by standing up for himself once! his friend who was his first kiss lost her mother because of him and then his brother ended up murdering her! and it just goes on and on like he goes to college and he is cut off from his family. he lets himself have a college best friend and he’s possessed and killed by a demon. and then his first love died above him. And this is like. before the show starts just what we know of his life. everything Sam is just is collateral damage. he can’t exist as a normal person without making the world around him worse. and all he wants is to do good.

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—Kid? You all right? —No, actually.

#pretty pretty please #that gesture 🤌 #his hair 💘

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literally john comes back and DOTES on jack. listen azazel is dead, mary is alive. the chronic two-decade emergency is over. his wife is a stranger whose memory he has sanctified & also betrayed. his sons are strangers with a lifetime of extremely complicated feelings about him personally.

jack has zero baggage on the subject of john winchester & an eternally wide-open heart to new dads, john is lonely and it's so much easier to go for a blank slate. I think he'd be the world's #1 grandpa. and I think sam and dean would lose their minds <3

#screaming #sam and dean had bad vibes perhaps #lmao I can't

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baby brothered so close to the sun dean almost exploded. 5 minutes before this he was holding a gun to sam’s head. insane show

#insane show for insane people

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If, by some miracle, we pull this off... I want you to lose my number. You understand me?

Supernatural S5E01 Sympathy for the Devil

#how you can look atbhim and not like #baby

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sometimes i remember that kripke was gonna have sam jump into the pit and then have dean do it right after, because he couldn’t live without sam, and i go a little bit insane

#how things should have ended

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Catherine Lacey, “Cut”

#sammy 🤲

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there’s something about wincest in the pre-slash era (whenever that is) where i think the dynamic is: one of them does not have sex with men. doesn’t think of them that way, because it feels too dangerous, too easy to slip into those fantasies he keeps locked away. and the other one fucks guys, but only ones who are eerily similar, carbon copies to his brother. the type of resemblance that would turn most siblings off. and the roles could go either way, for either of them. just… the dynamics of the different types of desperate “unrequited” feelings and the way they try to get away from them.

like. dean getting drunk and making out with some tall, long haired guy at a bar. nasty desperate hands down the back of the guys jeans, stifling a sigh that his ass isn’t quite round enough to be sam’s. he has blue eyes, not brown, but dean isn’t looking at his face anyway. fucking not-sam rough in the back of the impala, moaning baby and cutting off before brother, saying sam’s name when he cums, trying not to stare at the army figure in the ashtray. hating himself for it, swearing off it, but always crawling back, chasing the high like an addict. feeling deep in his soul that sam was right to leave, that he’s better off without his sick freak of a brother.

sam being into girls with short hair, accidentally hitting on lesbians because he struggles to be attracted to anything not wearing a crew cut, flannel and work boots. he’s sick, he knows, that’s part of why he had to leave. frosh week drunk, he lets a guy flirt with him, because he’s just tall enough, just different enough, that sam can give himself plausible deniability. his lips are too thin, he’s too gentle, he smells like axe and fake leather, but sam needs something, and this is all he can get. it’s going fine, until the guy— too late now to ask his name— goes for sam’s belt and sam feels like he’s going to puke. the wrongness of it comes over him all at once, like a hex. clarity piercing his drunken state: not dean’s hands, not dean’s voice, not dean, wrong. at least it gives him an excuse to back out, a good reason to lock himself in the bathroom and sit on the floor, trying to determine if the dry heaving is cheap beer or grief.

girls are— safe. long hair, soft hands, sweet and gentle and nowhere close to 6’1. this way, there’s nothing reminding sam of the absence, nothing pushing against the barrier he’s made around what he really wants. he can be normal.

he knows it’s dean after the first strike, knows his footsteps and his breath and the outline of his shoulders, even in the dark. but sam doesn’t stop fighting, because he’ll have to stop touching dean, and sam can allow himself this one thing, after so long. dean’s leather jacket on sam’s bare arms is making him dizzy, and sam lets dean take him down, the beginning and end of sam’s understanding of desire. a reminder, familiar like dean’s rough palms on his wrists, his weight pinning sam, his shit-eating grin and drawled easy, tiger; sam has never been normal.

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john left the boys alone during a hot southern summer back in '97 core

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MARY & GEORGE (2024) 1.02 The Hunt

#oh wow

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watched mystery spot. thinking about mystery spot. about how sam spent half a year grieving his brother and turning that pain into obsession just like his father did. thinking about how both sam and dean are so fucking. unmoored. untethered and careening into destruction without each other. when dean died in that parking lot sam was saying “not today it’s not supposed to happen today” because he KNOWS dean is living on borrowed time but he will not accept dean dying before his year is up. he’s like i didn’t plan for this. i’m supposed to wake up now . cue 6 months of psychosis

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"Cesare Borgia 's code of honour was simple, and consisted in just one article: complete security in return for absolute loyalty. He never departed from this one rule. His bloodiest actions always came as a consequence of betrayals, rebellions and duplicities." — M. Pingiotti

#cesare borgia #he is sooooooo

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"it's just a scene from a tv show it can't hurt you"

the scene from the tv show:

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the way dean's amulet is like a wedding ring (never removed, calls attention to importance of most significant relationship) and Dean only gets rid of it when he and Sam are at their lowest point, like when one might remove a wedding ring during a divorce or separation. But Sam fishes it out of the trash when Dean gets rid of it and keeps it. In his pocket. For six entire years. We aren't given a reason for why he keeps it but its like when someone keeps their wedding ring after a divorce -- it's a subconscious clinging like our love mattered and it was real and I want a physical reminder of it even if you don't love me anymore because it was a big part of my life. I can't just throw it away.

Sam relies on Dean wearing the amulet to remind him of the significance and commitment of their relationship and is unwilling to let go of it for *years*. Sam and Dean have one of the most tangled up, unhealthy, insane relationships in all of media and I'm obsessed

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A lil s1 sammy doodle for the soul

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The best actor in Hawaii Five O is Eddie the dog.

#author and size #and series

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Out of respect for the discord, I'm gonna say this here, because I was watching the eclipse and killing my car during the discussion.

Fanon =/= Headcanon, and it's not the same as a singular fan's headcanon that isn't supported by canon

Fanon is essentially a reading, interpretation, or headcanon that spreads widely in a fandom and gets adopted as a popularly accepted "fandom canon." Such as Sheriff Stilinski's first name being John before the show named him something completely incorrect.

Headcanon is personal to each individual's preferred reading of the show, based on canon or not. A canon that exists in one person's head.

The reason fanon tends to have a pejorative tone in fandom is because some fans are prone to attacking others for not accepting a common fanon, or the readings of "subtext" that led to it, as canon. And they insist that the way THEY read canon is the ONLY possible reading of canon.

And, personally, I think it's important to distinguish my headcanon of bi!dean (and aro!dean) apart from the fanon (dare i say, qfanon) of the hellers' bi!dean. The particular distinguishment being that I understand that wasn't the intent of canon, and there was no hidden bi agenda that got snuffed.

Having some of the same bi!dean subtext notes isn't the problem. It's when someone insists that was the intent. It's the unironic "there is no heterosexual reason for this" of it all. I know we're all queer shipping around here and all, but that doesn't exclude a certain whiff of homophobia and gender binary shit to the insistence that straight guys can't do [thing].

Just because you read Dean's look at Dr Sexy as queer, doesn't mean that's what it was. TPTB have said this themselves. And just because [a character from the book the vibes of spn was based on] was intended as bi doesn't mean Dean was intended to be bi. You can read that subtext into your headcanon, but that doesn't make it canon overall. Not even if it becomes fanon.

So when someone insists that's what it WAS not what they HEADCANON it was, it starts to make those of us scarred by heller qfanon very wary.

That said. We need to stop conflating fanon and headcanon so we can each enjoy our individual readings and share in the love of the show.