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sheojo · 7 months

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So, I wanted to rant about ascended Astarion a bit. I think a lot of people try to look at it and maybe only see some of his dialogue, and decide that because his decision was to ascend, then this is the best one for him, or for the romance. This is specifically for a romance perspective. Btw, ascend him away, do it, I am not saying it is a bad choice, I am saying that it is an interesting one that should be seen clearly because it is written so so well.

First of all, I want to say that the core of this path, in my opinion, is confirming his fear. The world is NOT kind. The world is cruel, and the only thing that can protects him is power.

The note on him wanting more vengeance is that he is scared, deep down. He will also refuse to say Cazador's name, something that spawn Astarion can and will discuss with player character.

By letting him ascend, you did not see him. You did not see the moments of guilt and hesitation that he showed to you in his journey through the palace, or through the game in general. You did not see that he could be something else or that he did not need power to feel safe. I know some people do not like the "persuasion" choice, but the sentence is so short, it is just a moment, where the MC will show him that he CAN be something different. It is not easy returning to a place of such horribly long abuse, be surrounded by such violence, and remember that just a few seconds before... well, he was admitting that he saw himself in the spawns in the cells, as something pathetic that needs to be destroyed.

LOVE

Something interesting in the vampire ascended route is how much you can talk about love. Two of the options in particular are at the first night, if you can ask him what he learnt from this experience.

If you select that you hoped he would learn to love you, then this is his answer, which makes it seem like the game almost calls out the player: Is this not enough? Then this is not the route for you.

He is offering you this eternity and power and that is love for him. Later, he will also tell you "I love you, isn't this what you want to hear?". He knows what you want, and he is giving it to you, but how much of this is what he wants?

Differently from spawn Astarion there is no way to ask him here, no way to complete his arc with the third and last "What do you want?" question.

The other is related to love, you can tell him that you hoped he would learn that sex and relationships are not about power, to which he angrily replies that EVERYTHING is about power. By letting him ascend, you confirmed to him that this is true. Power is what he needed to be safe, power is what he needed to escape. Power over others is the only thing that can work and basically... exists. So even sex and relationships are about power.

In the talk just after you let him ascend, you get something similar, where he looks at you and says that you, like all the lowly creatures who desire to serve, are also awaiting his command. He sees everything as a power struggle, now.

The third mention of love is actually after you break up with him. You can see it here in this video. He pronounce the word "love" with disgust, and says that that is the game he knows, so he will play it, but that he respects you for not allowing him to destroy your love.

SELF HATRED

As I said at the start, this choice of letting him ascend is based in reinforcing the idea that the world is dangerous, sex and relationships are power struggles (and he WILL turn yours into one too), and that there is no kindness, that he should be scared.

There is also a deep level of self hatred and disgust. He wants to cut ties completely with his old self, so much that if you tell him you miss his former self he will be shocked. The dialogue in screenshots is not enough to convey the emotion so I'd recommend checking a video:

Here too:

Instead of embracing the journey and continuing, the cuts himself from his past self completely. This is quite heartbreakingly realistic.

A TRANSACTION

Another thing that is easy to notice is the transactional feel of this relationship. After he expresses surprise that you let him kill all those people, he asks you what he can do for you, what you desire. One of the options is "I want your body", to which he answers "You earned it."

This is the character who had gone through a whole arc about how sex used to be transactional (he offers you his body in exchange for the bite, if you get him to proposition before the party, he seduces you for protection), and had to ask to the player to go slow, because he never really knew what intimacy really was without sex as something transactional being involved.

Here, he is offering you his body as something you earned, as a reward.

Regarding the sex scene... seeing both this and the spawn one with the free camera mod, I could see that the movements are the same - the difference is that ascended continues to show sex, and they are naked... and spawn is more hesitant. You can see it in the way he hesitates after he pushes Tav down.

You can compare the videos (ascended here, THEY ARE NAKED use caution, and spawn here). The scenes are like NIGHT AND DAY.

Ascended Astarion does not push you, he does not crawl over you, he does not even seem to make much eye contact (images of ascended is from the video I posted the link of).

Look at the eye contact in spawn Astarion.

The whole scene is completely different.

OWNERSHIP

"How is being beholded to one another too different from being enslaved"

This is one of the things ascended Astarion tells the player if you break up with him, after a couple of nights. He will reveal that he would have used your trust and love until you were nothing. There are many MANY ways Astarion expresses ownership over you.

One example comes from meeting Araj:

Here he is referring to the fact that Araj thought him your slave, but now it is you who belongs to Astarion.

Another small moment is when you can ask him "Are you going to compel me like Cazador did with you?" He doesn't even reassure you, or deny it, he tells you "Why would I need you, you are going to be obedient." The key word here is obedient.

This is reminiscent of one of Cazador's rules "Thou shalt obey me in all things".

Coincidentially, a few lines after, Astarion even tells you his version of Cazador's third rule "thou shalt not leave my side":

And "Thou art mine":

Notice that you can ask him in game "you made me a spawn, what will happen to him" and he won't reply, he will just correct you on the word, saying that consort is so much better. There is another two occasions where he will talk about his desires to what will happen with you. One time he mentions that he wishes he could sequester you in his palace, but that will have to wait, and in another occasion you can remark (after break up) that he would have treated you like furniture and he does not deny. If you play as Durge and you choose Bhaal, he will laugh about you sitting naked in his lap, while he gives order to his horde, from HIS palace.

There is an ownership in the whole dialogue choices of this path that is really hard to miss.

BREAKING UP... 4 days later

Another interesting thing is that if you choose the harshest break up options he will say "There you are, the real you shows himself at last." And yet, indipendently from it, any kind of break up will end up in an aftermath scene.

This scene will trigger three nights (or two?) after, and Astarion will say some very interesting thing. I posted the whole scene here, but basically... he will reveal that he respects you for breaking up with him, he did not think you had it in him.

The difference with the wisdom check is glaring:

CAZADOR's WORDS

I already talked about how Astarion's words kind of betray the start of his intentions to almost adopt (maybe unconsciously) Cazador's rules. This is not surprising given that the game explicitly calls his story a cycle of abuse and power, and like Cazador's got his rules from his previous master, Astarion did from Cazador. I also noticed in other moments that Astarion uses similar words to Cazador's.

Pet. One of the things Astarion will often call the player is pet. This is something similar to using "pup" in act 1, during the party, but as far as I remember never repeated (Cazador also calls Astarion a "disobedient pup"). The important thing is that you can call him out on it "I am not your pet". He says he is just joking, life is a joke!

Little wretch, cattle, stupid. There are all things that Cazador called him or used in general. I will need to dig deeper to find them all, but the most interesting one was for me "pet". I might be wrong, but I think this is something Astarion uses only post ascenscion.

KARLACH

I don't want to talk too much about Karlach because I did not play as her yet, but I know that she has a whole new path for this... and it is not a good one. Astarion's first sex night with her has him horribly aggressive and nasty, because of his own insecurities (confirmed by the devnotes). And Astarion's sex night when he ascend is even worse.

He will be so overcome by his new power to believe that he can bite her anyway, even with her engine. He will end up hurting himself and immediately accusing her of being broken, not normal, of reuining everything. Even after Karlach tries to tell him that it is not her fault.

Absolutely horrible. Given Karlach is the player character, the same would have happened to any Tav is something had prevented Astarion from biting them.

You can see the video here.

WHAT DO YOU WANT?

To conclude, Astarion's character goes through a complete arc of finding out what he wants and being seen as spawn Astarion, while ascended Astarion goes through a complete arc of finding out that power is the one thing that can save him and protect him, and obtaining it, so much that he basically owns you too.

It is two completely journey, and I think both with a satisfying conclusion.

One follows the trails of asking Astarion "What do you want?" and the other follows the trail of Astarion asking you what you want and telling you this is what you might want.

In the case of ascended Astarion, the final "what do you want" (after act 1, where he deflects, and act 2 where he says he doesn't know, he never tried it before) is "You, this", this being the safety you offered, being seen. He remarks about being seen, in particular.

For ascended Astarion, there is no option to ask him "what do you want" again, but the character still concludes the arc by using the same words he used in act 1. "This is what you want, isn't it?", where he offers the player this fantasy and the player just has to accept, and say yes.

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sheojo · 8 months

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This is SO canon

La Petite Mort

Summary: Gortash walks in on The Dark Urge fucking a man to death. That's it! Sorry, Larian?

Word count: 1713

Unresolved Gortash/Dark Urge is strongly implied. 18+ this is explicit. Do not read it if 1) you're under 18 or 2) you know me in real life (please). Durge is named Kira and is a tiefling.

Warnings: Someone is murdered mid-fuck Gone Girl style. Other than that, voyeurism, I guess? Really it's the mid-fuck murder here that I feel like you should be warned about. That's kind of the big one.

Like most of my writing, this is a work of erotic horror.

Oh, and BG3 spoilers, particularly for the Dark Urge origin! This is canon compliant so you can't come after me!

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The damned woman never answers her sending stone.

Stalking toward her office in hurried annoyance, Gortash curses under his breath. Why did he even get her the stone if she was never going to keep it near her? His partner of several years, Kira, has a lovely penchant of being able to solve all of his problems with her blade- once he’s able to find her, that is.

He just hopes she hasn’t slithered away back to her Temple- despite their partnership, he still hadn’t been granted access to it, and those cultists of hers could never convey the message right. If she’s gone underground, it could be days of ritual slaughter before she emerges again.

As he approaches her office door, a noise from within makes him pause. He thinks he’s misheard, until the sound repeats- a broken moan, and then an airy laugh that follows. He knows that laugh- he’s heard it a hundred times, right before the blood begins to run. Well, he’s found her.

The annoyance he’d had evaporates, replaced by a fervent curiosity and a jolt of lust that makes him feel lightheaded. The Black Hand preserve him, but the sudden image of her naked and writhing is impossible to keep from flashing through his mind. What does she look like now, in the throes of her pleasure? Perhaps more importantly, who is her lover? Is it someone he knows?

He has to know. Perfecting his mask of indifference, Gortash turns the knob and shoves open the door, striding into the room without knocking. Kira is obviously dangerous, but not so bloodthirsty that she would kill him just for walking in on her. At least, he hopes she isn’t.

It takes a moment for him to register what he sees as he enters. In the small sitting area of the office, spread out over her loveseat, Kira lounges with her legs spread. She is completely nude, the deep red of her skin exposed entirely, a slick wetness between her legs that he can see coating her inner thighs. Gortash only hesitates briefly before he continues into the room, eyes trained on her body, taking in the details and committing them to memory for later. He already knows that it’s an image he’s going to want to revisit many times over.

One of her legs dangles over the edge of the loveseat, while the other extends straight out. Similarly, one of her arms is thrown back behind her, over the armrest, while the other reaches out to grip the hair of the man who’s kneeled between her legs. Though he can’t see the space where her legs meet- and he does, almost desperately, want to see- he can see her breasts, full and soft, her nipples stiffened to points.

Gortash doesn’t recognize the man- a drow, young looking, whose attention (and mouth) are on Kira. The drow instinctively tries to turn to look at him as he enters the room, but Kira’s fingers twisted in his hair keep his head locked in place between her thighs. Her half-lidded eyes meet his, and Gortash is relieved to see her grin.

“Now, now. Don’t stop on my account,” Gortash says with a wave of his hand, slowly walking across the office with his eyes trained on the pair. Kira huffs, undignified, as if to say, “I wasn’t going to.” She keeps eye contact with him as she brings her free hand to her chest and pinches her nipple between her fingers, grinding her hips up against the mouth of the drow.

“Don’t you know how to knock?” She asks, her voice throatier and breathier than normal. He’s trying to remain unaffected, but Gortash can feel mouth go dry. How gorgeous that voice would sound, screaming his name.

“Would you have stopped if I knocked?” He fires back, eyebrow raised. The smirk she gives him says no, she wouldn’t have.

She doesn’t answer him however, instead addressing the drow. “I didn’t tell you you could stop. I’m- it won’t take much more for me, so he can wait here until we’re finished. Now, up.” She taps the drow on the shoulder, and the drow pulls back and stands over her, hand at his belt. He tries to sneak a look at Gortash, and in response, Kira twists the hair in her grip and yanks. The drow lets out a pained cry, wincing.

“No, here,” She murmurs, “Look at me, don’t look at him.” The drow nods at her, keeping his gaze on her face, and unbuckles his pants. Her voice is soft, the way it is at her most dangerous. If the young man has reservations about Gortash being present, it hasn’t tempered his eagerness to be inside of her. His hands fumble, unable to free his cock from his pants fast enough.

“If you answered your stone, you could have just told me you’d be done soon, you know. I wouldn’t bother you if it wasn’t an emergency.” Gortash hums thoughtfully, “But I understand. You do enjoy showing off.” He can’t help himself from commenting, from keeping her attention as the drow lines himself up at her entrance. He’s made his way over to her desk and poured himself a glass of wine from the bottle there, but has kept his eyes on her all the whilee. He prefers to think of his attention as passively intrigued, rather than lecherous, but the latter is probably closer to the truth.

“You think everything is an emergency, Enver,” she sighs, with a roll of her eyes. They both pause as the drow pushes inside of her easily, groaning loudly in a broken voice and bracing himself against the loveseat. He cages her in, leaning entirely over her smaller frame and panting as he begins to move, slowly and clumsily thrusting into her.

Kira moans, her eyes closing in pleasure. When she opens them, she makes direct eye contact with Gortash. A shiver of arousal runs across him, and his grip tightens on his glass of wine. He takes a sip, watching, trying to appear nonplussed and failing. He’s half-hard, and getting harder with every second that passes.

“Faster,” Kira moans, and the drow, forehead already speckled with sweat, complies. Gortash can see how wet she is, hear the smacking of the sex as the drow thrusts harder into her. His technique could use improvement, Gortash thinks, I wouldn’t do it quite like that. But Kira smiles, whining, and that’s when Gortash catches it in her eyes-

The urge. At least, that’s what she’s called it before. That delicious little urge that darkened her pupils, made her do those terrible, violent deeds, that pushed her toward her gory little delights.

The drow moans again, and closes his eyes, hips stuttering. It happens so fast, Gortash is sure that the drow doesn’t even realize it’s happening at all.

With a swipe of a dagger that seems to have appeared in Kira’s hand from thin air, the drow’s throat is sliced open, spilling out blood all over her. She’s drenched in a cascade of it, splattering across her face and covering her naked body as it spills out across her.

She laughs, a high-pitched peel of giggles, and shoves the drow off of the loveseat. She flips him easily onto the floor, settling on top of him with the practiced ease of someone who has done this before. The drow clutches at his neck, eyes wide, gasping and gurgling. Gortash can hear the blood in his throat and lungs as the drow attempts to cry out without success.

Kira moans, settling down against the drow as he claws at his neck. A hand reaches up to her arm limply, and she swats it away, riding him as the life drains from his body. Gortash no longer has even a sliver of her attention- she is completely lost in the bliss of it, whimpering and grinding down on him, fucking him ruthlessly as he dies.

She groans, cupping her breasts, and throws her head back as she comes with a cry of ecstasy. Riding out the vestiges of her orgasm, Kira grinds down a few more times on the drow’s cock. He’s no longer moving as the blood pools out across the floor. Eventually, she stops, breathing hard.

“My, but you are depraved, aren’t you?,” Gortash remarks when he finds his voice. She looks up at him in surprise, as though she’d forgotten he was there. Her expression is alight with joy, an excitement he’s seen only in the aftermath of her kills. Gods help him, but it’s almost cute.

“Ah- ha. Ha. Gods,” She pants, and runs a bloodied hand through her hair as she gets up off of the drow. Naked, drenched in blood and disheveled, she is a beautiful horror, the picture of perfection and pain. Gortash is equal parts apprehensive, aghast, and aroused by her, and feels a strange swell of pride that she is his blade- his most prized assassin, his partner in ascension.

Gortash watches her swallow, watches the darkness recede from her eyes. The smile she shoots him is only a little guilty, as she walks toward him and pours herself her own glass of wine.

“Well, we all worship our Gods in different ways, don’t we?” She replies lightly, taking a sip. Gortash must look skeptical, because she laughs, breaking the tension. “Don’t be jealous. Unless you want a turn?”

“Please,” Gortash scoffs, “This is a new coat, I don’t want to get blood on it.”

Kira throws her head back, and laughs again. He taps the rim of his glass against hers in a toast, and drains it of its wine.

It’s this image of her that Gortash thinks of when she approaches him in the audience chamber- the image of her naked, covered in blood, smiling up at him. She doesn’t recognize him now, the light in her eyes different, curious rather than vicious. She’s older, but in a way, she almost feels younger than before. A mind wiped of the sins the hands are stained with.

She seems shocked when he tells her they were partners- oh, but the stories that he could tell her could make her head spin. And he could tell her anything.

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