snailbat

[snailbat]

so much has changed since spring of 2016.

i am alone when I want to be, but never without anyone else.

life and myself are constantly ebbing and flowing and it is a vibe

“This is it. I overheat my leftover morning coffee, and it is such a relief to be alive now. Now I know how to inhabit my body. Now I know there are people who love me. It is spring, I am ripe, I’m becoming.”

it is spring here, now, finally.  i woke up at 8:18 and laid in bed for an hour doing nothing but scrolling through tumblr, a habit i badly want to break. there were so many other things i could have been doing for that hour: reading, writing, masturbating.  after my roommate left, i made breakfast.  overestimated the amount of butter i needed to grease the frying pan, got eggshells everywhere, made coffee, and heated up a bagel. sat on the living room floor, using the old steamer trunk my dad gave me as breakfast table. it’s nice sometimes, to be so alone here. i worry i will miss it too much once it’s gone.  i’ve spent this week alone, mostly. walking to work, working, walking home, and laying in bed. i think it’s good for me, to be alone sometimes. it reassures me that i can do this without anyone. i can get up in the mornings, i can come home in the afternoon, i can make myself breakfast and dinner, without anyone else.  i love people, but i don’t want to need them. i want to need myself only.  in a few months, everything will be different, again, already. 

#personal #circa 2016

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Obsessed with this as a concept

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this is such a billy/steve song

#stranger things #billy/steve #billy hargrove #steve harrington #loved you a little #Spotify

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fourth of july? like from the sufjan stevens song? you know thats not real right

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x

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As a clown I refuse to do sexy stuff in my real actual clown outfit because that is for the kids but I have a separate clown outfit for sexy stuff.

You’re a role model and a legend

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Hannibal / Salvador Dali, Red Orchestra (Music - The Seven Lively Arts) (1957), The Persistence of Memory (1931), The Bleeding Roses (1930), Autumnal Cannibalism (1936)

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film reviews that will haunt me forever

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I will never forget the year the police shot rubber bullets & teargas at children & journalists & medics, and then welcomed a mob of white terrorists into the Capitol building. The entire U.S. government should be on trial for crimes against humanity

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Driving I-65 from Louisville to Bowling Green on a summer night

Taken August 2018

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“A well-chosen book saves you from everything, including yourself.”

—

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Lol a mom and in your 30s? What're u doing writing smut?

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Carly Simon writing You’re So Vain about such a specific man, yet including the line “you probably think this song is about you” so that if he took it personally he would prove her point? Unparalleled power move

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having glasses be like: *cleans glasses on shirt* *cleans glasses on shirt* *cleans glasses on shirt* *cleans glasses on shirt* *cleans glasses on shirt* *cl

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Every time I reblog a cool pic I’m like … What the point. But I still continue

[snailbat]