A Fine Word Like Waffle Would Turn Out Just Awful

(THERE WILL BE NO FUCKING PEDOPHILA IN THIS FUCKING KITCHEN!!!)This is a blog. Truely you've seen one before, right? You know what to do. Slytherin // INTP // Scorpio // Wampus // Pansexual // Atheist // Team Iron Man & part of the Tony Stark Defense Squad // Pro-choice, Pro-sex, Pro-feminism I ship what I ship so don't throw a fit. If I like it, it’ll end up here. Have fun!

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somethingscarlet13·a minute agoText


The ghost wind or whatever literally led Klaus to Jesper, the fist time it was like a building up fate meeting, and then the second time Klaus actually thought Jesper was his wife, Lydia - however! I read to much into it and Jesper is basically Klaus’s new wife/husband because he gets Klaus to start making toys again and to laugh and get out of his shell and brings him a family through the Saami people and Klaus and Jesper are Husbands and Dads and I’m not saying Jespers wooden figure should have replaced Lydia’s but it should’ve gone next to Klaus’s. I mean I don’t even know how to put it into words about the scene of the wind leading Klaus to Jesper and seeing the outline and thinking it was the love of his life (it was, it was Jesper, Jesper is the love of his life)

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somethingscarlet13·4 minutes agoText


I just read it and OMG

I love it, so much thank you thank you thank you , I really wasn’t expecting someone to write it, it’s so cute and great, I honestly need more


Nutcracker au where Klaus is really lonely after his wife dies and one of his toy nutcrackers come to life.

The nutcracker, new to life and without a name, is scared of everything. This includes Klaus so the nutcracker runs away. The town proves to be a more dangerous place.

He runs into the school with Alva and is confused by what she is saying. His lived with Klaus as a nutcracker for long enough to understand English but he can’t speak it.

Alva walks over to where he is after the lack of a response and asks, “who are you?”

The nutcracker just looks away kind of miserably. He doesn’t have a name.

“Oh,” Alva starts. She takes a second to think of a name. She looks over the nutcracker in front of her. A small name is printed on his wrist, Klaus. “How about Klaus? Is that your name?”

The nutcracker shakes his head. He opens his mouth, wanting to say something about names and how Klaus isn’t his but all that comes out is a small breathy noise and a grumble.

Alva looks a little annoyed. She looks around, looking for some kind of name to give the man in front of her.

She sees one of her fish, a Jasper fish. An idea sparks in her head.

“How about Jasper?”

The nutcracker shifted uncomfortably before shaking his head. It didn’t sound quite right.

“Uhm, going off of nothing here. I’m just gonna switch some letters with others. How about Jesper?”

The nutcracker didn’t shift, didn’t move his head, didn’t make any noises. He kind of liked it. Jesper. Sounds good to him.

He smiles a little. Alva smiles a little back, though she still looked mainly annoyed.

“Can you talk?” Alva asks.

The nutcracker, now known as Jesper, opens his mouth and tries to talk. It’s a newfound sensation.

“I-I’m Jes… Jesper,” he says. It’s slow and raspy. Alva lights up a little at it.

“Good job! You can talk! Good, that makes this easier. Where are you from?”

Jesper reaches deep into his memory to figure out the name of the place he came from. What did Klaus call it? A house? Yes.

“A, uhm, a house? I thi-think?”

“Very broad. Can you point to where it is on a map?”

Jesper probably wouldn’t be able to but he nodded anyway. What else did they call the house? He blanked for a second. It started with a C.

“A cabin?”


“That’s where I was… I think. A- uh, a cabin.”

“That’s weird there’s only one real, can be considered a cabin, cabin here. The woods mans cabin?”

Jesper shrugged, “maybe.”

“Okay. I don’t want to go there but I also don’t feel like helping you. You can from the cabin I’ll get you back to the cabin. Come on!”

Alva grabbed a coat, hat, and gloves before leaving very quickly. Jesper followed her, his pace at a small jog.

It was almost a whole days trek, the two of them getting there at the dead of night.

“Alright, this is where I stop. I’ve heard things about the woodsman and I don’t want to deal with whether or not they are true. You’re knocking on the door and going in.”

Though desperately wanting Alva to go with him, Jesper sucked it up and knocked on the door. No repsonse.

Jesper turned around to shrug at Alva when he saw a man, large and burly, behind her. Jesper screamed and fell to the ground.

Alva turned around and tried to remain composed. She smiled and mumbled a sorry, speed-walking away as fast as she could without it being considered running.

The man watched her walk away before turning to Jesper. Jesper stayed on the ground.

“Please don’t hurt me! Please I’m new! I don’t know what happened! Wait, you’re Klaus right?”

Jesper didn’t wait for the man to answer, “you made me! I’m Jesper!”

He raised the sleeve of his postman uniform to show the man the word on his wrist. Klaus in fancy lettering.

Klaus eyes opened wide, “the nutcracker?”

“No? Maybe? Yes? I have no idea!”

“Well why don’t you come inside? Out here in this freezing weather is no place for a nutcracker… or a person.”

And they went inside.

I hope you liked it, I’m no writing expert but I like this one!


Again, I don’t see anyone saying it so I’m gonna do it

We need a Nutcracker!Au for Klausper

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somethingscarlet13·23 minutes agoAnswer
Hey do u have any nsfw headcanons about Victor,,, I need to know them,,,, for science,,,

Oh there are some right here, but I’ll do more because I feel like we all need some nsfw Victor Van Dort in our lives.

Everything under the cut is suuuuuper nsfw.

  • This boy has a praise kink 100000%. If you give him even the tiniest bit of praise in bed he’ll make all kinds of airy moans.
  • Speaking of airy moans, that’s about as loud as he’s gonna get. This boy is suuuper quiet. The loudest thing you’re gonna get from his is maybe a gasp.
  • Give! This! Boy! Bruises! He loves being covered in bruises, all over his neck and torso especially. The best way to do this without causing him too much pain is by just covering him in hickies. Give him hickies until he’s black and blue, please. He will wear them all with pride. 
  • Peg him. Usually he’s so so quiet, but if you peg him it’s the once instance where he’ll be super fucking loud. Just make sure no one else is home, otherwise they’re going to hear him pathetically begging for more. 
  • Ride him. This boy is a bottom through and through, so he loves to be ridden. This is a win-win for both of you because he gets to look up and admire you, while you get to see the adorable faces he makes. 
  • Call him pet names, but only really sweet ones. His favorites are: angel, my love, darling, darling boy, & baby boy. Those last two will make him cum on the spot, so only use them if that’s what you want. 
  • His number one kink? His favorite one? The one that will have him giving you big wet goo-goo eyes for about two weeks straight? The one that, if you use it, that’s it, he’s yours forever? Mommy kink. Make him call you “mummy” (don’t worry, he loves it) and offer to “nurse” him while you fuck (which he will 1000000000000% do) and that’s it. You own him now. 

These were really fun to write, and if you ever want more I’ll totally do them! Thanks for the request!! ;)

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