spellbookbitch

[spellbookbitch]

literally who CARES if straight cis men are wearing skirts for ‘clout’!!! I want to live in a world where being gnc is desirable to them rather than one where they make bigoted jokes about it. it’s GOOD that people with the privilege to do so are normalising gender non conformity and i dont give a shit if they have deliberate political intentions or if they’re just having fun you guys are all so annoying

[spellbookbitch]

literally who CARES if straight cis men are wearing skirts for ‘clout’!!! I want to live in a world where being gnc is desirable to them rather than one where they make bigoted jokes about it. it’s GOOD that people with the privilege to do so are normalising gender non conformity and i dont give a shit if they have deliberate political intentions or if they’re just having fun you guys are all so annoying

[spellbookbitch]

Object Constancy Prt 1 (with image descriptions under text)

ID: A title card featuring a red stick figure and a blue stick figure with devil horns. The text says "Someone experiencing the lack of object constancy versus Someone intentionally making you feel good one moment and bad the next." End of ID.

ID: Two panels. The first panel shows a blue child figure and a red child figure sitting in front of a fluffy dog with a brown spot on it's tail, back, and front paw. The text above says, "Object constancy is described as the ability to understand that just because aspects of something/someone has changed, does not mean that thing/person isn't what they were before". The second panel shows the two kids sitting in front of the same dog, but with shorter hair. Text that says "got a haircut" is beneath the dog. Someone off screen is asks "Is this the same dog as before?". The blue child says "yes" while the red child says "no". End of ID.

ID: Some text that says says, "As a child without object constancy grows up, their struggle begins to seep into their relationships with others. Their partner wanting the dynamic to change could cause them to question if this means the status of the relationship is changed. Their partner accidentally making them feel once off-handedly could cause them to fear that their partner will always make them feel bad." End of paragraph. The images shows a purple figure beneath the text saying, "Hey, what if we changed date night to Fridays?" The red figure is shown panicking and thinking in all caps, "Oh fuck, are they breaking up with me?" End of ID.

ID: Two panels featuring the purple stick figure and red stick figure. The caption above says, "it can be a struggle, as most of the time the partner has no idea what caused the distress". End of caption. In the first panel, the purple figure is posing dramatically next to a photo realistic image of some cheese cake. The purple figure says "I made cheese cake!". The red figure looks concerned.In the second panel, the red figure is running away with tears streaming down their face. "No thank you!" The red figure says. The cheese cake is now on the floor. End of ID.

ID: An image showing the purple figure and red figure eating cheesecake on a couch together. The caption says, "But it's totally possible to be self aware and to even catch yourself before you have negative or thoughts reactions". End of caption. The red stick figure says, "I'm sorry, we only have cheese cake in my birthday. thought maybe you were planning a special last date" before breaking up with me." The purple stick figure responds, "Aw babe I understand. I'm proud of you for talking to me about it rather than isolating." End of ID.

ID: A picture showing two panels. The first panel shows a purple figure scratching their head and saying, "Babe I was wondering if could do the shopping alone today? I feel really easily irritated, promise it's nothing against you!" End of text. There is an exclamation point above the red figure's head.The second panel shows the red figure thinking, "This is a change from the norm and they're excluding me. I have to remember that change is okay, and she won't always exclude me just because she is right now." End of thought. The red stick figure says, "That's perfectly okay!" There is a pink heart floating around the red figure. End of ID.

ID: A picture of a purple figure and red figure hugging eachother with hearts surrounding them. The text above says, "Learning how to stop, review the facts of what happened, and communicate your distress is a game changer! It is possible to have healthy relationships even without object constancy!" End of ID.

ID: A red stick figure is jumping in the air and saying, "This comic had an exhausting amount of information so I'll make a part 2 to explain the rest (lacking object constancy VS purposeful dysfunction)." End of ID.

_____

This is the version of the comic image descriptions under the image. This can make the comic overstimulating and hard to process for some people. Although I encourage you to reblog this version, to view the version with image descriptions in the alt text function, go into my "my comics" tags!

Points I forgot to mention:

Lacking object constancy is the reason behind certain feelings and behaviors, it is not an excuse for hurting someone. Even if it was not intentional, if you hurt someone you need to apologize.

The lack of object constancy is commonly found in NPD, BPD, and other traumagenic disorders. Often, someone who experiences the lack of object constancy also experiences paranoia - which explains the sudden leap to the worst conclusion.

Sensory rejection dysphoria and the lack of emotional object permanence are very similar!

#posts that make my emotional reactions to things make more sense

[spellbookbitch]

#LateStageCapitalism

[spellbookbitch]

hey if a customer service person ever does a survey make sure you give them the max score they can get. even if they didnt go out of their way or anything for you, if their corporate is keeping an eye out on survey scores 9 out of 10 times they literally discard anything that is not 10/10 survey scores. so dont put 4 out of 5 on cleanliness or service or whatever just because it wasn't perfect. that often times will count as a 0/5 score. you'd probably be better off just not doing the survey at that point.

[spellbookbitch]

for the record a cult isnt just any religion or ideology or person you dont like. a cult is intentional sustained abuse and keeping people isolated from others, often coupled with like financial abuse. go look up the Mormons and scientology for some ideology based cults that are real. go look up the BITE model and that 10 step thing and like. for fucks sake stop throwing serious shit around its not funny and yall are actually making shit worse

yall are sounding like the "being trans is a cult" fucks amd im about to lose my shit

[spellbookbitch]

Everyone mentions “but there are so many kids in foster care who need homes!” when someone talks about the connection between abortion bans and the adoption trade. Those adoptive parents do not want children with opinions, thoughts, traumas and experiences. They want infants. They do not want the effort of helping a child who has been in the system, they want an infant they can brainwash. This is why those freaky big Christian families often adopt lots of infants and toddlers but not older children. They see children as little pets instead of people with independent lives and personalities and the child being an infant when it comes into their care helps maintain that illusion.

Do not tell anti-abortion people to adopt. Do not. They do not deserve to ruin another child’s life. Not every home is healthy for a child. Not every family will be a family for that child.

[spellbookbitch]

Since pride month is literally right around the corner, DO NOT be fooled by companies that change their logos to rainbow when their money speaks for themselves. Image  ID below “keep reading” line. Source of said financial information is “florida campaign finance”

Keep reading

[spellbookbitch]

What Native people say about the use of sage: you can use sage, but you cannot smudge as nothing you are doing (waving sage around) is actually smudging. Smudging is a ceremony and you are, we promise, not smudging. Please buy sage from either us, or someone who sources the sage from us. White sage may not be considered endangered by the US government but corperate sourcing is making it difficult for us to source sage for our own religious purposes. Let alone to sell it.

What white people hear: never use sage ever, don’t ever buy it, don’t own it, don’t even look at it.

Look, y’all. There’s a couple of facets to my talk today.

1) Yes! You can buy sage! You really, truly can! Buy it from either native sellers (go to a powwow! Eat our food, buy our stuff, watch some dancing!) Or buy it from a seller who sources the sage from native people. Pick one. And no, buying it from 5 Below doesn’t count.

2) you CANNOT smudge. This isn’t just you “shouldn’t”— this is a YOU ARE INCAPABLE OF SMUDGING. Waving a sage stick around your doorways IS NOT SMUDGING. It is smoke clensing. Smudging, depending on the tradition and tribe, could easily have dancing and drums involved. You, as a white person, do not have the cultural BACKGROUND to even know how it works. At all. Period.

3) please, for FUCKS SAKE, stop making posts here on tumblr where you tell other white people about cultural appropriation and what they can and cannot do. Please stop, your license has been revoked because none of you bother to get the facts right. We native people are FULLY CAPABLE OF DOING IT OURSELVES. Consider instead: a) reblogging our posts where we talk about it! We’re here! We have made posts!! b) Making a post that states what we said and then LINKS BACK TO US. Screenshot with a link if you must. Stop centering your own voices in these conversations. You are already centered in everything, stop centering yourselves in a native space.

I’m tired of this nonsense, y’all.

Thanks for coming to my TedTalk ™

——

Help Support a Native artist?

Paypal: https://www.paypal.me/jnwampler

Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/khanji

[spellbookbitch]

the concept and idea of “you can always start trying to be a better person” is extremely important to me both in media and irl and i continue to be deeply deeply disturbed by the trend on this site pushing that these ideas in media are bad writing or even morally reprehensible

because theyd rather someone stay terrible or just straight up die than become a better person 

from a compassionate point of view it’s deeply distressing and from a pragmatic point of view it’s outright frustrating

it’s fucked up. 

[spellbookbitch]

more people would be for prison abolition if they just tried to send mail to an inmate even once

[spellbookbitch]

White Pagans stop calling non European polytheistic religions "Pagan" and for fucks sakes shut the fuck up, get off of your high horses, and listen to the native people who practice those religions for once challenge.

White witches stop calling every traditional cultural/spiritual practice "witchcraft" and for fucks sakes stop arguing, accept you are wrong, listen and learn for once challenge.

[spellbookbitch]

i cannot emphasize enough how important it is to have gossipy bitchy littl pirvate group chats or discord servers with like 4 people in them whose stated purpose is posting “new kind of guy” or “this reddit post is so fuckin dumb” or “i got into a fight on twitter today look at this idiot’s reply” so your homies can still see it and laugh and back you up but more importantly, so you are not tempted to post these kind of things on main

#I don't get why people hate the police theyve always been nice to me #thinking about our gc to document one person's ableism racism etc #they were a friend of one person in our friendgroup but had chronic wealthy white woman syndrome #once came up to me and my now ex(a black woman) durint the George Floyd protests and said #murder murder murder #:)

[spellbookbitch]

Text, from twitter user @LakesOfLotus: "Reminder that a lot of the photos of "kink at pride" are actually from folsom street fair which is literally a kink event

Consider that if people are having to lie about the origins of the thing you're denouncing queer people for, you might not be in the right"

[source: https://twitter.com/LakesOfLotus/status/1512885078799564800]

[spellbookbitch]

Advice for pet owners from an RVT

- Please be honest with us. We aren't going to report you to the police because your dog got into your stash. We need to know if your cat's wound happened two days ago or two hours ago. Just tell us what happened.

- VACCINATE YOUR PETS. We don't care about your stances on human vaccines. Your pets NEED theirs. Parvo is one of the worst things a puppy can get, it has a high mortality rate, and it's prevented by vaccinating. Distemper and Rabies are INCURABLE, and ONLY prevented by vaccines. Vaccinate your pets, even if they are indoor only.

- Your dog is not a wolf. It does not need a grain-free diet. Dogs have evolved to digest carbs and grains alongside us. Grain-free diets have been linked to causing a heart condition called DCM (dilated cardiomyopathy) and we are seeing more and more cases of it in younger and younger dogs. My clinic personally had 3 cases in the last two weeks, and it is a horrible thing to see.

- Spay and neuter your pets if you aren't going to breed them. If you are, do NOT breed before they're at least 1.5 years old. Two years is better.

- Besides altering your pet, leave the rest of their body parts alone. Your dog prefers having their ears and tail. Your cat needs their claws. Declawing is cruel and banned in many places, and ear cropping/tail docking isn't far behind.

- STOP LISTENING TO YOUR BREEDER INSTEAD OF YOUR VET.

- Retractable leashes are literally garbage and should be banned.

- Keep your pet on a leash or in a carrier when you bring them to the clinic! Do not carry your angry cat inside in your arms!!

- Cats do not do things out of spite. Your cat does not pee outside of the litter because it's angry. It's probably stressed, or is having urinary issues.

- Stop being rude to the vet staff. We have one of the highest suicide rates of any profession, and it's only getting worse. We have enough to deal with without you reaming us out because Fluffy needs their nails trimmed TODAY and we're booked up for 3 weeks.

- Stop scruffing your cats. Its an outdated form of restraint and it is physically painful.

- Train your dogs. Bad behaviours are 90% boredom and bad habits. Spend time with your dogs.

- Again. Please be nice to the vet staff. We're doing our best to help your pets. We're overworked, exhausted, underpaid and underappreciated. We are tired. Be gentle and be kind.

- IF YOUR PET BITES, JUST TELL ME IT DOES. I WILL NOT JUDGE YOU. I JUST WANT TO NOT GET BIT.

[spellbookbitch]

Oh nooo, I can’t imagine a worse fate than being possessed by a dEmON oF LuSt 😏

[spellbookbitch]

I hate when customers hand out those stupid and ugly religious pamphlets that are made to look like money because at first glance I am so excited to have money for food or medicine, but the back just has a quote and then followed by "this is more valuable than money". It is disgusting and insulting to give these "tips" to people, especially the poor, and expect a thank you as if you have saved their life.