Ok but imagine Flash insulting Peter and Pete responds like “aw thanks babe” and Flash is standing there confused and a classmate is right next to Flash just like “bro are you and Parker dating??”
tony: hey, kid. you ok?
peter, vibrating on the spot: i must join my comrades in the area 51 raid. join me, mr stark, and together we will unearth the aliens.
tony, scared shitless: you’ve literally been to space.
carol, landing outside: yo, parker, hop on.
peter, jumping onto her back: ALIENSSSSSS!
carol: alien tiddies!
tony, screaming after them: YOU LIVED IN SPACE FOR FIVE FUCKING YEARS!
peter retaliating against “baby monitor protocol” by changing the names of Tony’s Iron Man protocols
“hey FRIDAY, zoom in on that building over there”
“Old Man Bifocals protocol activated, Boss”
“what the fuck did you just say to me”
“FRIDAY alert the team that my thrusters are down and i can’t fly”
“sure thing, activating I’ve Fallen and I Can’t Get Up Protocol”
“PETER WE TALKED ABOUT THIS”
Tony: FRIDAY, open these encrypted files we don’t have a lot of time-
FRIDAY: activating the Fr E Sh A Voca Do protocol
Tony, sobbing: PETER WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK DOES THIS MEAN
-Peter gets hurt in a battle-
FRIDAY: Bone Hurting Juice Protocol has been activated - Mr. Parker is in distress.
Tony: -stops- He’s what? The what?
Peter: -over the com- Oof, ouch… my bones…
Tony: FRIDAY! Engage autopilot!
FRIDAY: Activating Jesus Take The Wheel protocol.
Tony: Really, Pete?
Tony: Where in the world is that kid??..FRIDAY!! Activate Peter’s GPS
“ Helicopter parent protocol”
Tony: *sighs*….why do I even bother
Tony: FRIDAY divert all energy to thrusters
FRIDAY: nyOOOOOooOOoM protocol activated
i literally can’t breathe from this
Tony, in front of team: FRIDAY activate the electric taze blast
Friday: Activating ‘Wanna Be Thor’ protocol
Thor: *triumphantly laughs*
Tony,mumbling: Now the boys’ gone too far.
Tony: Friday, time to bring out The Blades
FRIDAY: “oh my god why does he have a knife” protocol activated
Villain: did you name it like that on purpose or,,,
Tony, crying: shut up loser
This gets better everytime it shows up on my dash
I’m always going to reblog this! If I don’t, then it means I’m dead
tony: friday, reset all protocol names
friday: i’m sorry sir, the “i’m a bad bitch, you can’t kill me” action is restricted
tony: peter what the fuck-
Tony: FRIDAY activate missle launchers!
FRIDAY; activating “this bitch empty, YEET” protocol
Tony: PETER WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?!
Tony: eject arc reactor
FRIDAY: activating Boob Window protoc-