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subliminal-circus · 3 years

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I know the worst is yet to come.

shove my emotions down the barrel of a smoking gun

shots fired ear deafening pain.

I take drugs in vain they only make my body numb.

If someone else dies I’m scared of what I might become.

Can’t see another open casket I swear I’d probably run.

It’s like people die for fun.

#poetry #poem #dead poets society #poets corner #poets on tumblr #i write #excerpt from a story i'll never write

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subliminal-circus · 3 years

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subliminal-circus · 3 years

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Love me like it exist.

I don’t think anyone know what it is.

We probably do but we ignore the thoughts.

Ignorance is bliss or some other cliche shit.

Whats the cost?

Nothings free.

Do you really appreciate the worth of what you’ve bought?

If you regret it I guess not.

I feel like my heart holds no value at all.

Love has got me no where so I have nothing to give.

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subliminal-circus · 3 years

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subliminal-circus · 4 years

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Please, reblog! IIt’s called self defense. Apart from having here, in the US, one of the highest cases of homicide and rape in the world and high rate of GBV, think about how this could help your mother or sister

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subliminal-circus · 4 years

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I often prefer artificial light more than real.

Looking at a screen hues beating into my eyes.

the real world barely exist.

the scent of a synthetic aroma from a candle.

Better than waking up to smell the coffee.

Fuck waking up at all honestly.

I’d rather float around in the infinite space of my dreams.

Until they become night terrors.

That’s just reality crashing.

Impending doom.

#poetry #poets on tumblr #poetsofig #my writing #writers #writers on tumblr #i write #excerpt from a book I'll never write #excerpts from my heart

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subliminal-circus · 4 years

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subliminal-circus · 4 years

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I don’t hate myself. I hate how I think, how I speak, how I act. I hate my voice, my hair, my skin. But I can’t seem to hate myself.

Or maybe I do. Maybe I just pretend I don’t. Hoping my hate will go away.

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subliminal-circus · 4 years

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Space Ghost Vs The Universe

I often don't understand the universe.

All I see some days is dark cold tired existence.

No true purpose but to expand chaotically into blackness.

Time means nothing to something like this.

Does it know of the life that lives inside of it?

Can it feel the warmth from the stars inside its very self?

love and hate and hope and despair live within its walls.

I wonder if its numb to the fuck all.

Is reality easy to brush off or hard to escape.

How does it feel knowing you’ve taken everything I’ve loved?

That your existence and the reality of it all is my hell everyday.;

Is mortality a thing to you?

It is to me and it Knocks on my door everyday sometimes just barging in.

Is my pain your despair or your will?

Or are you just as confused and hurt as me?

#poet #poetsandwriters #poetry #poets on tumblr #poets corner #poetselixir #poem #poemsociety #words n stuff #words from a book i'll never write #excerpt from a story i'll never write #poetscommunity #dead poets society #space #philosophy

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subliminal-circus · 4 years

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HAPPY UNBIRTHDAY

I don't want to celebrate.

No longer have dreams of wanting to grow

Instead my life is haunted by the hell I make.

I dont know the last time I felt awake.

Or any other feeling than regret or hate.

The world is doomed no desire to self educate.

Why do I always medicate

Don't wanna blow any candles out just my brains.

Memories on the curtains leave stains.

Not much left and all that remains sucks.

28 years later and now my brains twice as fucked.

I might be alive but I give up.

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subliminal-circus · 4 years

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Occasionally, fossils become opal instead of stone. They are called… opalized fossils.

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subliminal-circus · 4 years

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Nothing haunts me more than memories. Photo albums filled with ghost might as well be cemeteries. Drive by places that I used to know and my mind turns to a time machine. Scenes from a movie. They linger even after I leave. Left home because there were bones I couldn't bury. I cry at night face buried in my pillow holding the sides for dear life as if this cushion was my sanity. Going mad because I get lost in the past and then have to come back to reality. I feel like a piece of shit because I'd give up my soul to forget all of you and what you meant and what everything was. Who I am. Sinking into guilt like quick sand because I'm here and Tawni isn't. Our family broken but I can look at a park and see us at a bbq. Tears in my eyes as I remember rambo park and shooting hoops. Or as I walk into the hospital where I watched pap die because he drank himself to death. Pleading with a God I don't believe in to reverse time. I was going for a psych evaluation because I wanted to kill myself. Home hurt to much. I was wrong though. In the end you can't escape the past. You'll always live there as long as you love people you lost because that's where they live. What's the point of a future?

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My birthday is coming up. This isn't a poem this is where my head is. I needed to get it out. Didn't really work but here it is anyway. I didn't draw this.

#true story #writers on tumblr #i write #excerpt from a story i'll never write #words from a book i'll never write #my writing #excerpt from a book i'll never write #free write #writers #writeaway #writer #happy birthday

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subliminal-circus · 4 years

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Watch "Billy woods - Hiding Places" on YouTube

To anyone who's into music and likes my poetry. This is what's been beating my brain lately.

#billy woods #backwoodz studioz #hip hop #music #musicians #musician #feedyourspirit #feed your head #daily life #dark #dankest of the dank #dopemusic #underground #amazing

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subliminal-circus · 4 years

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Most days I hate the world but that's an understatement.

I leave my laundry in the yard for everyone to play with.

I'm not okay and nothings ever been ok since before I even was born.

Daddy loves drugs momma loves complications

I live with the repercussions of every man shes ever laid with.

Watching scenes play out it my head but nothing ever seems to make sense.

Since before I was born.

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Sorry this one is so short guys. Hard to write this one all the way through. Sorry my stuff is always so fucked up too. This is raw uncut me where I am. That's why there are no pictures of me here. That way you see me for my soul. Who I really am. Thanks -spaace Ghost

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subliminal-circus · 4 years

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Trying to roll a joint but my hands are shaking.

My insides turn. My head is quaking.

Sure its apparent the toll that its taking.

Problems that smiles cant cover.

There's no point in faking.

My bones move as I crawl in my skin.

Ignoring the calls from people who "call me friend"

Day dreaming of ways that all this will end.

Things arent ok but let all of us pretend.

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subliminal-circus · 4 years

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Why cant I sleep?

My brain hits the back of my skull as it beats.

Relief from the drugs that I take, what I seek.

Fighting away all my thoughts as they creep.

Looking for ways to get lost in the sea.

To have fought this disease well its taught me some things.

To sleep good at night you could slaughter some sheep.

The thing is that it makes it harder to sleep

You can't barter relief.

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subliminal-circus · 4 years

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