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elizabeethan · 3 years

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Watch the Sunlight Fade: 14 / 17

Emma Swan finds out that her boyfriend has been hiding something from her: he’s in a gang and trying to get out. Reluctantly, she decides to support him, sticking it out with him until they have enough money to flee to Florida. All she has to do is wait and ignore that feeling in her gut that something is seriously wrong. With the help of a kind and handsome stranger, she just might make it out alive.

Or, alternate summary: I’m horrible at summaries, please just read it.

Something of a cross between a What Still Remains AU and a Sons of Anarchy AU.

A/N: Here comes the whump!! There's a good amount of violence in this chapter (well, not really, but it's more than I've ever written). As always, if you need more details you can message me!

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~~~~

“Hello, hard worker,” she hears from the door as it creeps open. Looking up from the blank screen, she smiles at Tink.

“Hi,” she greets in return. “How are you?”

Tink gives her a smirk and chuckles. “Probably not as good as you are.” Emma’s eyes widen and her cheeks turn hot at the implication. She doesn’t even know what Tink is implying, but she does know that she’s pretty experienced in all things related to sex, so her assumtion probably has some backing. “I’m not gonna say anything,” she finally consoles.

“You know?”

She moves into the room, the door already shut as she makes her way for the chair Killian usually sits in. “He didn’t tell me, if that’s what you’re worried about. But when he mentioned leaving, and when he mentioned getting you out, specifically… It was obvious.”

“Oh,” Emma nods, biting her bottom lip into her mouth. It’s sweet that the way he talks about her gives him away, but she can’t help but feel nervous about it. Could he be giving himself away to just anyone?

“It’s also obvious that he loves you, just so you know. But only because we’ve been friends for so long.”

She takes her words as consolation. They’ve been each other’s only friend for years, learning each other emotionally and physically, so it makes sense that Tink would figure it out before anyone else does. “Thanks,” she says with a smile.

“And I don’t want you to worry. He ended things with me the night you came here. He and I are friends before anything else; I’m just happy that he’s so happy.”

“I wasn’t worried,” Emma says truthfully. “I trust him. And… and you.”

“Good,” she says pleasantly, her smile meaningful as she seems to understand Emma’s sentiment; her implication that they’ve become friends, too. “So I guess you’re just sitting here and wasting time until we can go, huh?”

“Yeah,” she laughs. She enjoys Tink’s company. It’s easy to laugh with her, her lightheartedness contagious despite them both knowing the danger they're in. Killian has been quietly planning their escape, and it’s almost time to go, so the danger is getting more and more real as the minutes tick on.

They sit for a while, joking and laughing together, and Emma reflects silently on how nice it is to have a friend. Killian’s been her friend from the moment they met, but she hasn’t felt this close to another girl in all of her life. She hasn’t felt supported and genuinely liked by another girl since she was a kid, before the runaways and the homelessness left her completely and utterly alone.

“You seem happier,” Tink reflects with a soft smile. “The first time we met… Just-- I’m sorry, Emma. I should have been nicer to you. I’m just glad things are starting to look up for you now.”

“Thank you,” she smiles. “It’s nice having a friend.”

“Yeah,” she laughs. “Elsa’s nice but… I don’t know.”

The conversation takes an unexpected turn, guiding Emma down a path she didn’t know was there. The inclusion of Elsa in their discussion of friendship should seem natural enough, but Tink’s suggestion is that she isn’t as good a friend as either of them are to each other.

“What?” she asks, easily letting her confusion be known.

“Something about her,” she answers with a shrug. “I never trusted her. Killian does, though.”

“Well, she’s almost like his sister-in-law, right?”

She rolls her eyes, shaking her head. “Yeah, I guess. Not like that seems to mean much to her. Her loyalty lies with her family.”

Emma’s eyes narrow suspiciously, wondering what on earth Tink is talking about, where she’s gotten this idea, and what she could possibly know that Killian doesn’t. Killian is Elsa's family. “What are you--”

“Hi,” Killian says as he pushes the door open. She bites down against the smile teasing at her lips.

“Hi,” she whispers back. “Everything okay?”

She wasn’t expecting to see him today, not in the middle of the day, at least. But his arrival is nothing short of a pleasant surprise. It’s not entirely unusual for him to pop in during the day and see how things are going for her, but they should be lying low to avoid stirring suspicion, especially after their risky meetup in the bathroom last night.

“Aye, just checking in,” he answers as he bends to plant a kiss to her forehead. “Morning, love,” he says to Tink.

“Good morning, fearless leader. Everything all set for today?”

“Yes, indeed,” he answers playfully. She hasn’t ever seen him this light and happy outside of his bed when they share it together. The prospect of finally, finally leaving is a weight lifted off of all of their shoulders, and it’s clear that his spirits are lifting the closer they get to implementing their escape. “Just taking care of some last minute details.”

Tink nods knowingly, and Emma immediately wonders what he’s talking about. Without her having to ask, she turns to Emma and explains, “convincing Elsa to go will take a certain level of… finesse.”

“Not to worry,” Killian consoles gently, placing his hand on hers and giving her a soft and loving smile. It’s the one she knows he saves just for her-- the one she never saw until they started to get close. “I’ll take care of it. I’m about to go and talk to her now, I just couldn’t resist giving my lady love a kiss before I went.”

She giggles like someone who has never felt pain before and he bends towards her, planting a soft, slow kiss to her lips that leaves her craving more. She’ll always crave more. And soon, she won’t have to deny herself the pleasure of being with him

~~~~

They’re almost ready. Robin and Killian just need a few more things, some food and clothes and weapons with which to defend themselves, before they're ready to depart. Emma has already shaken enough from Neal’s safe to last them, and she’s certain that he hasn’t noticed and likely won’t until long after they’re gone. The availability of Gold’s yacht is certainly convenient as well, but they must be careful to load their supplies at the last minute, just before they're ready to leave, to avoid being caught.

Really, all that’s left is to round each of them up. Tink is more than ready, the two of them dreaming of fleeing for years and finally ready to take action. Robin has been silently wishing his life to be different since he was born into the club. The only person he truly worries about is Elsa, because she’s been gaslighted and unfortunately hasn’t been able to see past their tactics. She spent most of her life here, her mother bringing her and her sister into this lifestyle when they were just children. Now, he has to go against decades of brainwashing to convince her that it’s dangerous here-- that it’s not worth the risk that comes with staying.

He’s just stepping out of his apartment, having just dropped off some groceries, when it happens. He doesn't even see who does it. He isn’t sure who hits him and with what. But in the blink of an eye, his hopes are dashed as his world goes dark.

~~~~

The blackness fades slowly, the buzzing around the edges of his vision dissolving as he comes to. He moves to scrub his hand over his eyes, but it doesn’t move, prevented by the rough material around his wrist. His other stays put as well, the same material keeping him still.

Of course, he thinks in the darkness of the muggy, dank room. Of course this is happening. They were so happy-- they were so close. Of course they’re found out just before they planned to leave.

“Ah, he lives. Glad you didn’t knock him out too hard, Neal.”

“I want him to suffer some more before I do.”

He wants to roll his eyes, but when he tries, he’s met with innumerable pain. Neal must have done a number on him, his eye swollen and painful. With each breath, his ribs sting and he hisses. He mumbles, “Bloody hell,” but it’s probably a bad idea.

Another fist strikes the left side of his face, further damaging his skin and the bone and tissue underneath and making him cry out. “You’re in for it now, Hook,” Neal hisses. “Elsa told Peter what you did, and I'm gonna make you suffer for it.”

He lets out a pained groan, blood trickling from his cheek. He tries again to wipe it away, but the ropes stop him, burning the tender skin of his wrist. “Elsa?” he asks in confusion, still fighting against the haze that’s perpetuated by another strike, this time to his right cheek. His neck cracks in such a way that can’t be good news as his head is whipped to the side.

“That’s right. Did you expect loyalty from your family? Good luck with that. Unlike you, she understands that we are her family.”

Something hard whacks against his shin, making him cry in pain again. It’s not a fist; more likely to be a metal rod or perhaps a plank of wood. “That’s right, Neal,” Peter praises. “We’re all family. Elsa doesn’t have loyalty to only one.”

“Because you’ve brainwashed her,” he argues, met with another strike against his already stinging ribs.

“We’ve enlightened her. She’s dedicated to her family.” He isn’t even sure which one of them speaks as Neal delivers another sharp blow to his chin.

His ears ring as Neal’s open palms meet them, clapping both sides of his head at once and making his eyes grow wide in breathless agony. He can barely make a sound in response, his jaw dropping but any noise in protest stuck in his throat.

As the fog in his brain clears after a few moments, Neal allowing him to recover slightly before continuing his torture, he finally speaks again. “She also told us how she found out. She overheard you in the bathroom. During Rufio’s funeral. You sick bastard.”

His hand finds Killian’s throat, squeezing firmly until one eye starts twitching and his lips begin to go numb. Then he squeezes harder.

“Tell him what she heard, Neal.”

“You murdered Rufio,” he accuses knowingly, and Killian realizes that any sense of privacy that he and Emma thought they had was false, even with the door locked. Elsa must’ve gone to use the bathroom they commandeered, and she must’ve been forced to tell Peter and Neal what she overheard when she was caught, too.

“And what else?”

“She heard you attacking my girlfriend,” he hisses, throwing Killian back until his throat is released, although it’s at the expense of his back as the chair tips and he lands solidly against the concrete ground. “She heard you trying to take advantage of her!”

He lets out a rasped, choking sound as Neal’s boot pushes against his throat, barely giving him time to recover from his last assault. He can’t breathe, the muscles in his neck protesting against the firm weight pressed to him. He isn’t sure if the back of his head hit the floor when he collided with it, but he knows that would be bad.

“You fucking bastard!” Neal screams, clearly not worried about their location or activities being given away by an excessive noise level. “You tried to ruin her? Why?!”

Neal’s question needs to be answered with finesse. He can’t say anything that will imply that Emma was in any way a willing participant in their activities. He can’t let Neal find out that their affair is two-sided-- that they love each other. That they plan to run away together.

Of course, the possibility of their plan actually going off at this point is slim. Honestly, Neal might kill him tonight, his derangement making it impossible for him to see that Emma wants out just as badly as he does.

“Answer me!” he finally screams again, removing his boot and driving it forcefully into Killian's ribs. He can’t even double over, or roll onto his side to ease the pain, because he’s still bound to his chair. “Did that whore let you soil her? Or did you force yourself on her?”

“She had noth-- nothing to do with it,” he gasps, barely able to speak, barely able to breathe. “It meant nothing; she means nothing to me. I just did it to piss you off.”

Neal kicks his broken ribs again and Killian sees white. His vision blurs in response to his torment, but he hopes he doesn’t pass out because he knows he might not wake up if he does. It would be so easy to give into the blackness that clouds the outer rim of his sight, but he can’t.

“You took advantage of her. She’s weak, she can’t defend herself. She doesn't know what’s best for her. How dare you?”

“Aye,” he agrees painfully. It hurts to admit this in falsity almost as much as it hurts when Neal’s heel drives into his stomach.

He hears Peter say something, but his voice is tinny in his ears and he can’t make out his words. He’s slipping under the blanket of unconsciousness, the numbness taking over far too intriguing as he lets his eyes fall shut and his mind go black.

~~~~

“Bring him out,” Peter commands, his violent voice making Emma jump in her seat. She can’t help but notice that her chair has been placed suspiciously closer to Neal’s than it usually is. He sits beside her, his body still and rigid and his eyes staring straight ahead. His face is threatening and tense, his jaw locked. “I need everyone to see what happens when you betray this family.”

A family meeting was called unexpectedly, interrupting Emma's sham of dedication to her research. She and Tink stared at each other, terror written across both of their faces as they stood and followed the small crowd to the intimidating room, met with Peter looking absolutely irate at the head of the table. Neal’s knuckles are bruised and bloodied, she’s realized.

The door opens slowly, two men dragging along a limp and seemingly lifeless form before throwing him into a chair and laughing when he groans.

Killian.

Emma stiffens, her eyes stinging and filling with tears that she immediately works to blink away. She bites the inside of her cheek until she tastes blood. She can’t let anyone see her reaction to seeing him like this, but the fact is, she thinks she might be dying on the inside.

He’s so broken, so mutilated. The bruises on his face make him almost unrecognizable, the swelling of his eyes and chin and cheeks distorting his beautiful features painfully. He’s holding his arm over his middle, likely suffering from some injuries to his ribs. He looks like he can barely breathe. There are deep purple bruises painted around his neck, taking on the shape of someone’s angry fingers.

The same angry fingers grab for hers, and she knows immediately that Neal has done this to him. He’s hurt her endlessly, but now he’s battered the man she loves, and this cannot stand.

“Tell the men what you’ve done, Hook,” Peter insists. One of the men holding him upright in his chair, Walsh, snickers madly.

“I--” he starts, his voice rough and tattered. Walsh laughs as he pushes his hand against one of his bruises for sport, causing Killian to wince. “I killed Rufio.”

The men around the table gasp, each of them straightening and making as though they’re about to stand and hurt him even more.

“And what else?”

“I tried to damage Neal’s property. I manipulated her; I told her lies to make her believe that I felt something for her.”

The words are rehearsed. They trained him in exactly what to say. But still, she feels a stab in her heart at him announcing that she means nothing to him. “And tell them why.”

“Because I’m mad. I wanted to cause Neal pain. And I--” he cries out again as Walsh pushes his finger against another angry bruise, laughing at his response. “I want to cause the club to suffer.”

“He wants the club to suffer, and he’s succeeded. I want everyone to take a long, hard look at the man who used to be our brother. Killian Jones is a dead man. He’ll die at sunrise, but for now, he’s to act as a symbol to anyone considering betraying the club. We’re a family, and we will not be trifled with.”

The crowd around the table cheers loudly in agreement, each of them getting riled up in response to Peter’s ostentatious speech. He continues, “As for the Kings of Elsinore, we’ll continue our plans of attack. I don’t know about you lot, but I’ve about had enough of people who want to see us suffer. No one messes with the Lost Boys and lives to tell the tale!” The men cheer, fists banging against the table and making Emma jump. “They Kings will be a symbol for any other club thinking of going up against us. We are the rulers here! Prepare for battle, men. At dawn, we raid the Kings’ clubhouse!”

She’s silent as the room empties slowly, everyone who walks past Killian giving him some form of further physical punishment as they make their way out the door. Soon, it’s just Robin who remains, staring angrily at Killian, and Neal by her side.

“Ems,” Neal says darkly, and her blood runs cold in sudden fear. She’s been so consumed with worry and anger for Killian that she hasn’t even considered the repercussions from Neal at them being discovered.

She turns to face him nervously, her fingers shaking as she grips the arms of the chair. “Yeah?” she nearly whispers.

He gives her a soft, if not terrifying smile that she thinks is an attempt at being comforting. “I forgive you.”

Her brows raise on her head, almost meeting her hairline, and she asks, “You… what?”

“I know this bastard manipulated you. I know you’re not… Well, I know you're naive and desperate for attention wherever you can get it. Hook trying to seduce you isn’t your fault. I forgive you.”

She nods weakly, feeling as though she's in a trance. In a moment of clarity and brilliance, she decides to go along with his thoughts and says, “Can I have a minute with him? I need to look into the eyes of the man who… who tried to hurt us.” She chooses her words carefully, saying exactly what she knows will coerce him into giving her what she truly wants.

“I don’t know, baby,” he shakes his head, taking her hand and roughly dragging it towards his mouth. “That’s not your brightest idea.”

“Robin’s here,” she reasons. “Look at him-- he’s just as mad as we are that his friend betrayed our family. He’ll keep me safe.”

He gives her another leering smile that she’s sure he thinks is sweet and winks. “I guess you’re not so useless up here after all,” he concedes, tapping his finger against her temple. She forces herself not to flinch away. “Rob,” he barks as he stands, “keep her safe from this asshole.”

“‘Course, mate,” Robin answers, taking Neal’s hand and shaking it. “I’ll watch him like a hawk.”

Neal is out the door in an instant, not bothering to say anything more to Emma in favor of shoving against Killian’s shoulder on his way out.

She's still for a moment, taking in the grievous sight of him and barely able to move. It takes her just a second after he lets his eyes fall shut and a weak breath fall from his lips to hurry to him and take his hands. “Killian,” she pleads in a whisper.

His brows screw together in pain and she pulls back, but his grip on her hand tightens. “I’m sorry,” he struggles.

“No,” she cries, pressing her lips firmly to the top of his hand, the one part of him that hasn’t been battered violently. “Don’t say that, baby. It’s okay. You’re gonna be fine.”

“I didn’t mean it.” He opens his eyes, or tries to, one of them almost completely swollen shut. She’s met with his genuineness, and it breaks her heart.

“I know that,” she promises. “You didn’t have to take all of this punishment just to keep me safe.”

“They’ll never hurt you,” he vows, and it’s like he's promising himself, too. She stands, bending at her knees so that she can look at him head on. His bottom lip is swollen and bloody, but she plants a kiss there anyway.

“I love you,” she tells him seriously. “I’m so sorry.”

He doesn’t respond-- she doesn’t think he can-- but she does feel him squeezing her hand once more and bumping his likely broken nose against hers.

This is her fault. He wouldn’t be here if not for her. If not for her making stupid mistakes and getting caught up in ridiculously dangerous situations, she wouldn’t be here and he would be okay. He wouldn’t be bleeding and bruised and have cracked ribs, and she wouldn’t be worried about his lungs being punctured or his skull being fractured. She would be alone, she would be lost without ever knowing him, but at least he would be okay.

“We have to get him out,” she says to Rob after a few moments of thick and desperate silence. “He needs help; he needs a doctor.”

“I know,” he nods in agreement.

“No,” Killian begs weakly. “Just go. Leave me, please. Don’t risk getting caught--” he cuts himself off, gasping in pain as he tries to move in his chair. “Please.”

“Killian, no offense, but shut up,” Robin says. “We’re all planning to flee. There’s not a chance in hell we let you die while we walk free.”

“Right,” Emma breathes, relieved to hear that his friend feels the same as she does. “It’s almost dark. Do you think anyone will be here much longer? Can we sneak him out?”

“Rob,” he practically whimpers, letting his head drop back as his breath catches against the pain in his throat. “Please. Don’t put her in any more danger. Please.”

The room falls silent again as Robin considers his friend’s pleas, looking between the two of them pensively. Honestly, she doesn't care how it’s done. She just needs to make sure that Killian is out of here and away from danger as soon as possible so that they can follow through with their plan.

“Alright,” Robin concedes. “Emma, you should go back with Neal. We still don’t want to tip anyone off to our plans. I’ll get him out since I’m supposed to be keeping watch anyway. But at that point, we’ll both be wanted by the club. Round up Tink and Elsa and meet us. You talked to them both, right?” he asks Killian.

He shakes his head. “You have to check on Elsa first,” he insists. “Leave me and make sure she’s alright. She told them--” He gasps again, and Emma rubs her thumbs over the tops of his hands. When he looks into her eyes, he says, “She’s how they found out.”

“What-- she what?”

Emma’s dumbfounded, shaking her head in thought, unable to wrap her mind around the betrayal. It isn’t until her conversation with Tink makes itself known in her memory that she realizes what she meant.

Elsa’s loyalty lies with her family.

“Emma, please, check on her. They probably tortured it out of her.”

She nods, if only so that she doesn’t cause him any further distress as she figures out the truth. There isn’t much about this lifestyle that makes sense to her, but one thing that seems abundantly clear is the fact that Elsa has never been as loyal to her brother-in-law as he has to her. Emma doubts very much that Elsa was tortured at all, much more likely to have given up the information freely.

“I will,” she promises, kissing the top of his left hand. “I’ll meet you soon. I love you.”

“I love you,” he whispers, letting his eyes fall shut.

When she stands, she makes anxious eye contact with Robin and says, “Get him out of here. He needs to see a doctor.”

“I will. Grab Tink and Elsa and meet me at the docks when you can. I’ll wait a few hours before I start looking for you.”

She nods, making her way towards the door and making a silent vow to herself. She’ll grab Tink, and she’ll prove her own hunch about what Elsa has done to Killian.

~~~~

Robin has just gotten to the docks, tucking his friend away safely on the boat they’ve pilfered, when he hears the footsteps. He got Killian to the bed, cleaned his wounds-- although he didn’t look much better when he was done with him-- and gave him some rum to help him sleep before he heard someone rustling above deck. Only it’s too soon for Emma to be back. As he steps out of the cabin, he sees a shadowy figure on the dock.

“You,” the figure calls, making their way towards their stolen boat. Robin nervously reaches for his gun and points it at the shadow. They reach for something as well, holding it up before themselves, and Robin cocks his gun in response.

“I’m armed,” he warns.

“FBI.”

~~~~

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#Watch the Sunlight Fade #captain swan #captain swan fanfic #cs ff #sunlight ff #captain swan au #killian jones #whump #killian jones whump #captain swan angst #once upon a time #ouat ff

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omg-im-such-a-masochist · 3 years

Text

SECOND CHANCE

Prompt: Just some good old fluff with Finny boy

Word Count: Long, bitch! So fucking long

Pairings: Finn Bálor x Reader

Warnings: Angst, fluff, smut (implied)

Editor: @thenightmareismyreality

Tag: @theworldofotps , @new-zealand-chic , @sassymox , @waywardwrestlewritingwaif , @yungbludjazz360 , @starwithaheart

Notes: Found this in an old file (wrote this about two years ago, maybe?) But I kinda like this little story ❤️ If you’d like to check out my previous works, you can find them on my Masterlist 😉

A deep sigh of relief left my lips as I brushed my damp hair. I heard a commotion in the living room, and began to dread the potential fight I would have to break up between a four and six year-old over a remote control.

“Mommy, mommy, mommy!” Caleb screamed in excitement, while bursting through my bedroom door like a maniac

“You’ll never believe who’s downstairs with us” He jumped with a cheeky smile

“Cal, who’s downstairs?” I ask worryingly, instinctively reaching for the gun that I kept in my nightstand

Caleb laughed and ran downstairs again.

As a homicide detective, my cop instincts combined with my motherly instincts took over me and I ran to the living room in only a tank top and panties, with my gun already aimed to shoot.

Although, the last person I thought I would see standing there, braiding my daughter Maeve’s hair in a style reminiscent of queen Elsa, and watching Caleb showing off his somersault technique was HIM…

That caught me off guard and he must have sensed it, because the first thing he did was look up.

“Hi” He said shyly

“What are you doing here, Finn?” I asked, putting my gun down on the dinner table

“I swear I didn’t break in” He laughed, attempting a joke

“What do you want?” I decided to ignore the small talk...there was no need for that, not after everything he did

“I have an injury. So I have some time off for a while and I wanted to stop by to see the kids and you” He whispered the last part

“Injury, huh? Is it bad?”

Even after everything he did, I couldn’t help but worry about his well being, you know, for the kids sake!...

Ok fine, I still love him, but he doesn’t need to know that.

“No, nothing serious. But I got two months off and I was excited to see my family” He looked at me when he said that

“Are you going to see your parents?”

“Yeah and I was thinking if it would be ok with you if I take the kids with me?”

“Of course! Why would I mind?”

His family was always very loving and kind to me, and we became very close once the kids were born. Sometimes I would take them to Ireland on my vacation so they could see their grandparents or they would travel to New York so they could see the kids.

“Because of...you know” He trailed off

“Neither your family or the kids have anything to do with that. I’m a grown woman, Finn. I know how to separate the sheep from the goat, ok?!”

I could feel the air becoming thicker with the tension, until Maeve said

“Mommy, why aren’t you wearing any pants? Are you feeling hot? I can get you the Japanese hand fan daddy gave it to me, if you’d like” She smiled

“Thank you buttercup, but that won’t be necessary. I’ll be right back”

......................................................................

Now, properly dressed, I made my way towards the kitchen to get dinner ready.

“Do you need any help?” Finn asked from behind me

“No, thank you. You can go stay with the kids” I didn’t even bother to turn around to face him

“Y/N, can we talk?”

I sighed “There’s nothing worth talking about, Finn”

“Please?”

“What can you possibly say that will change what happened? Nothing! It will be a bunch of empty sorry’s and excuses, so let’s just save it, ok?!”

“It’s not empty, I truly am sorry”

“You should’ve thought that before you believed the bunch of lies she told you”

He opened his mouth to say something but Caleb began calling for him to go watch the cartoons with them.

......................................................................

“Mommy, can daddy have dinner with us?” Maeve asked

“Of course, pumpkin. If he would like to”

“Yay” She screams “Daddy, come!” She beckoned him

The subjects of conversation at dinner were mostly controlled by the kids. They, as per usual, asked me how many bad people I had taken down that day, but also asked Finn about his traveling, which state or city he liked the most, the best foods he’d eaten, which LEGO set was he building, if the hotel beds were soft and ‘what about the blankets?’

“Alright, I know you two are very excited to see daddy, but we need to brush those teeth! So, let’s go kiddos” I got up from my chair

“I’ll do it” He grabbed both kids, resting one on each side of his hip and went up to brush their teeth

When he came back down alone, I give him a questioning look

“They’re asleep” He smiled softly

“Oh, you already put them down for bed?! Thank you” I said, cleaning the kitchen island.

He nodded “I just didn’t bathe them because they said you already did”

“Yeah, that’s the first thing I do when I get home. Or my mom does it for me if I get caught up in a case, but most of the time I do it”

“How’s work?” He asked, sitting down on one of the high benches.

“Good, Richard is my superior again, so he helps me a lot with my shifts, because of the kids” I smiled

“The old man is still working?” He laughed, amused

“Yeah, he already said he will only leave his badge when he’s dead” I cackled “How’s road life? Amazing, I presume”

“Nah, don’t let the bright lights fool ya” He laughed, bitterly “I love wrestling, being in the ring, performing for the audience, but once I pass through the curtains backstage it gets lonely” A little bit of sadness could be heard in his voice “It’s very lonely... it’s different from when I came back home to you and the kids. Now I just get back to an empty apartment, wishing I could get back home” He looks at me

“Finn, please”

“I love you! Why can’t we just try again?”

“Because no!”

“Why?” He pleaded

“Because you don’t know what it was like ok?! You don’t know how much it hurt me, the things you said, the fact that you believed some envious woman’s gossip about me having an affair with Lucas! He’s married for fuck’s sake! To a man!”

“I- I didn’t knew Lucas was gay, Y/N”

“Yeah, you didn’t! And why is that? Oh yeah, because you did not trust your own wife, all you saw was the fact that he is a man and my work partner so you just bought the assumption that woman sold you, choosing to believe her instead of me!”

“It wasn’t like that, ok?” He tried to explain

“It wasn’t like that, you say? When you were the one who came in here filled with accusations! Saying that I had an affair with him, that I cheated on you, that you wished you would’ve slept with half of the women who throw themselves at you everyday, doubting that those kids upstairs are yours, when they’re the fucking spitting image of you! You said all those horrible things, Finn. Not me!”

He stared at his knuckles as I continued, now crying

“How do you think that made me feel? To listen from my own husband how much he wished he had cheated on me. Bragging about all of the hot young women who are waiting to be fucked by a wrestler...You know it was always hard for me to accept that you wanted me and not some hot girl in the locker room, that you had chosen me, that I got lucky enough to not only marry a man who’s physically breathtaking but also such a beautiful person on the inside. And still, it was that same Prince Charming who became the frog! I never thought that” I had to stop myself from saying the next horrible words roaming through my mind

“You never thought that, what, Y/N?”

I shook my head

“Say it”

I shook my head again and he got up from the bench, coming to where I was standing

“Say it, love. I can take it”

“I don’t want to say it” I whispered as more tears rolled down my cheeks

“Shhh, it’s ok, love” Finn pulled my head to his chest “Please don’t cry, I hate when you cry” His arms are tightly locked around me, providing me the sense of comfort that only he could give. And I hated that!

“Let me go” I tried to push him away

“What’s wrong, Y/N?”

“Just don’t touch me” I said, shoving him away

He knew that I was closing him off, I could see it in his eyes

“Say it! You never thought that what?” He insisted, more forcefully this time

“I never thought that someday I would regret meeting you! Marrying you, starting a family with you. If I could do it all again, I wouldn’t!” I spat

“You wouldn’t?” He scooted closer

“No” I answered with venom in my voice, trying to turn my undying love for him into hatred

“But I would!” Finn said firmly

I shook my head in denial, as he cupped my cheeks in his calloused hands, making me look up to meet his blue eyes

“I would do it, all over again. Meeting you, dating you, marrying you, having kids with you, in the future seeing the kids graduate high school, college, be at their wedding, take our future grandkids to the park, and spend the rest of my life with you! I would choose you over and over and over again! I choose you everyday, Y/N”

I squeezed my eyes shut

“You’re lying! Stop lying, Finn” I whispered

“Am I though? Open your eyes and look at me. I was never able to hide ANYTHING from you, I can lie to anyone but you. You can always see through me, so just look at me and tell me if I’m lying. If I am, then I promise you, I’ll leave this house right now and you’ll never have to see me again! Just open your eyes” He kissed each closed eyelid

After a few minutes, I gathered the courage to finally look at him and I could only see love, regret, pain and truth.

“I love you Y/N and always will. Yes, I was dumb to listen to some random gossip and I’m paying the price for it, but the only thing I ask you is: please, don’t give up on us! I’ll give you whatever time you need, just promise me that we’ll fix it. That we’ll be together again...You, Caleb and Maeve are my life! I would die to save you in a blink, love. If I had to choose between your life or mine I would choose yours, becau-“

I placed two fingers on his lips

“Stop talking like that! You know I don’t like it. It attracts those bad vibes, you know?”

Finn lightly chuckled “But I mean it”

“Stop! I don’t like when you talk like that... I hate to think that something bad could ever happen to you. You know, because of the kids” I tried to hide my feelings

“And you wouldn’t miss me, not even a little bit?” He teased

“I miss you everyday” I quickly slapped a hand over my mouth when I realized what I just said

He smiled sweetly, leaning down to place sweet and innocent pecks all over my face.

Finn started on my forehead, then he went to my temples, followed by the cheekbones, apple’s of the cheek, jaw, chin, side of my lips. Finn pulled back to search for any resistance signs and when he found none, he kissed my lips. A lazy kiss, that grew more urgent by the minute.

“Fuck, I missed you so much” He moaned, now kissing my neck

“Finn, wait. Wait a minute” I tried to pull his head back by his hair but that only made him moan.

“Finn!” I said harshly, finally having his attention

“What’s wrong, love? Don’t you want it? I thought that-“

“Have you seen anyone since we broke up?” I asked, not even letting him finish his sentence

“We didn’t break up! You asked me for some time and-“

“Finn, just answer the fucking question please” I pleaded

“No, I haven’t been with anyone in those 8 months. Except for my hand when I look at your pictures” He smirked

“You’re so ridiculous” I whispered in relief as my arms circled his waist

“So...do you still want to make love?” He eagerly asked

“We never made love, Finny. We’ve always fucked senseless” I laughed

“No! We’ve always made love it’s just that we’re more frantic about it” He chuckled

“Ok, we sleep together and then what?” I asked

“Then you stay here and I go back to my apartment” He simply said

My heart sunk in my chest as a faint “Oh, ok” left my lips

“So I can pack my clothes and bring them back home” He said, as a devilish smile grew on his face “That’s of course, if you want me here”

“Asshole” I lightly punched his chest “I thought you just wanted a one night stand and that’s it. You scared me!”

Finn chuckled, beckoning me closer to him

“You could never be just a one night stand, love. You fuck too good to be just a one time thing” He winked

“So you just want me for my bedroom skills, huh?” I teased

“Yes and no” He giggled “Yes, because no other woman fucks like you do” He bit my neck, growling “And no, because there’s so much more about you than the bedroom” He hugged my waist “You’re my best friend, my nurturer, my supporter, the air that keeps me alive, my everything!” He kissed me passionately

“Can we try again? Start over and leave all that shit behind us?” He whispered

“If you promise me that if we get back together, you won’t listen to other people’s gossip and will come to me whenever you hear somethi-“

“Yes!” He pecked my lips excitedly, as a wide smile took over his face “I promise you, love! That’ll never happen again, you have my word!” He gave me a bear hug and spun me around the kitchen

“Finn!” I squealed, when we almost fell to the ground “We’re going to wake up the kids” I giggled

“Oh no, shhhh” He shut me up with a kiss “We can’t let that happen! Because as much as I love our children, I haven’t gotten any in eight months and I can’t wait to change that with you right now” He pushed us towards the couch and laid on top of me

“But I thought you were going to go and get your clothes”

“I don’t need clothes, woman! You know I like to sleep naked” He winked

And roamed his head down to...

Please, if you’re comfortable with it, let me know your thoughts on this? Feedbacks are always appreciated 🥰😘

#finn balor one shot #finn balor x reader #finn balor fanfiction #finn balor imagine #finn balor #nxt x reader #nxt imagine #nxt #nxt wrestling #wwe nxt #nxt fanfiction #masochist writes

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emotionalcello-makefanfics · 3 years

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Disclaimer tho, all my knowledge of the fandom is strictly from fanfic and google. I don't read the comic or watch the anime. I only have some vague knowledge of what's canon or not and making this fanfic has been somewhat of a fever dream.

Tags: Fluff and angst. Attempt at humor. Crying. Probably ooc. No smut, just holding hands and some hugging and some kissing. Shouto smokes, and probably incorrect depictions of smoking. Implied child abuse (you know who). Lowkey Fuyumi bashing.

Warning: In character cussing from explodo boy.

Summary:

They found each other in coinciding vulnerability. Shouto was smoking, Katsuki was crying. Miraculously, no one died. It seems that vulnerability is exactly what they need to get through their respective problems, because vulnerability makes them do the one thing the two boys are allergic to do, opening up.

Or, Shouto and Katsuki cope with each other. It miraculously didn't end in explosions, just a lot of physical affections and crying.

Words: 10.9 k

You don’t have to take life so seriously Shouto! It can be whatever you want to be, it’s yours!

Shouto knocks his head back and parts his lips. White ribbons bleed to the orange sky. The clouds are pretty pink instead of white. The smoke doesn’t blend in with the white clouds anymore like a few hours ago. He taps the amber ash on the portable coffin-shaped ashtray. More than a dozen filter buds crammed there.

He should go back to his room. Any darker then it would be noticeable when goes back to his room. But there’s always that small whisper at the back of his head: Maybe after one more. This spot has been his salvation from overstimulation. It’s the highest building in UA, the rooftop of the dorm. He’s been here for two years and has always been alone.

The door slammed open.

High on nicotine, Shouto passes through shock to immediate acceptance that he’s busted.

Only, he’s not busted. The next sound that came is sobbing. The first thing he sees is awry blond hair and a tear-streaked red face. Soon came the already red blood-shot eyes, staring at him with a sadness that not even in Shouto’s wildest imagination can imagine on Bakugou’s face. It takes a few seconds too long for the default glare and anger to return.

“The fuck are you doing here!” He yells, his voice croaks in a not angry way. Wet and breaking at the pitch.

Shouto, still a bit floaty and relaxed from the nicotine in his system, nor is he yet to register the shock from seeing Bakugou’s tears, just points down towards his fingers.

“What does it look like I’m doing?” his voice is scratchy, a tad bit deeper. He never smoked so many that that happened. Then again, today is a special day.

Seemingly just as shocked, Bakugou seems to still. Shouto expects crackling hands, bared teeth, or maybe a ‘TELL ANYONE AND DIE’, but never that he strides his way and sits on the floor beside Shouto.

“Still have one of those?” Bakugou leans back.

Wordlessly, Shouto digs the last pack from his pocket. There are six left. Bakugou takes one, and Shouto lit a fire on the tip of his thumb towards Bakugou.

“How do you do this?” Bakugou says, eyeing the fire.

“You’ve never done this before?”

“I wouldn’t have asked if I have Icyhot! Now fucking tell me already.”

“You put it between your lips, and inhales a bit as you put this corner on the fire.” Shouto crowds him cupping the end of the smoke with his palm and keep the fire controllably small. It feels like Deja Vu, but this time, Shouto is showing someone how to smoke instead.

Bakugou tries, and before Shouto can say to take it slow, Bakugou already choked and doubled over coughing. Shouto pats his back.

“What the fuck was that!” Bakugou roars and grimaces when he sees the stacks of cigarette buds on his ashtray. “How the fuck do you smoke that many!”

Shouto shrugged, “I’m used to it.” He puts out his bud on top of the pile and picks up the mostly one-piece cigarette that Bakugou chucked to the floor and lights it up. He feels eyes on him as he put the filter on his lips and lit it up in one smooth move.

With the cigarette properly lit, he offered, “Wanna try again?”

“No! That shit’s nasty.” Bakugou snarled at the hand holding the smoking cig.

“Suit yourself,” Shouto takes a deep drag and sighs. Surprisingly, Bakugou doesn’t up and leave, and more so that Shouto doesn’t mind the silence.

Alas, it only lasted exactly 33 seconds.

“How the fuck did you get in here!” Bakugou grumbles, “The door was locked.”

“I made ice stairs from my balcony.”

“Like how Elsa did?”

“Exactly like Elsa did, she was my inspiration.”

Bakugou snorts. No sadness left, just a condescending smile, which is better than the ghostly tears in his eyes.

“How did you get in through the locked door?”

“How else would you think?” Bakugou lifts his hand, cradling a small cluster of explosions.

Shouto face palmed, dragging it down.

“What?” Bakugou barks.

“Well when they figured out the door broke then they gonna figure out that someone’s been here, don’t they?”

“That nicotine is already killing your fucking brain cells.”

“That’s not how it’s-”

“Let’s get the fuck outta here before anyone finds us you loon.”

“But I-”

“You’ve burned through enough death sticks, let’s go!” Bakugou grabs his hand and pulls him up.

“Fine fine, let me tidy up.” Shouto could barely close his ashtray with all the buds in it, and he dusted the ashes that drops to the floor.

Shouto already makes the stairs down to his room before looking back at Bakugou, “Want me to drop you to your balcony?”

“I don’t know,” Bakugou narrows his eyes dangerously, “Will it suddenly melts away as I walk on it?”

Shouto huffs, “You have no faith in your favorite sparring partner?”

“The only thing I learned these past couple of years with you being shoved at my face as my sparring partner is that you’re a little shithead.”

Shouto makes the stairs towards Bakugou’s room first, reveling in how badly Bakugou tried to cover his amazement at the stairs.

“Just like Elsa’s, right?”

“You want me to give you Elsa’s number 1 simp trophy?”

Shouto melts Bakugou’s step and lets him fall blond head first into his balcony.

“YOU’LL FUCKING PAY FOR THAT, COCA-COLA SHITHEAD!”

Bakugou roars, and Shouto giggles as he jumps upstairs to his room with explosions fading behind him.

Not until he’s laying in bed that night that he thinks about Bakugou’s tears again. Rest assured, his imagination spiraled to ‘what could it be’ until 4 am.

++++

I don’t understand why your dad wants you to be number one when he should’ve want you to just be happy. Nothing in life really matters unless you’re happy.

Shouto loves everything about living in the dorm, but it has one and only one weakness. He can’t smoke as freely.

His dad knows and just rant about how it’ll affect his performance.

Now, Aizawa knows, and he’s at the principal’s office.

Shouto instantly knows how. Bakugou broke the rooftop door. Iida must’ve found it, reported it to Aizawa-sensei. Maybe his homeroom teacher has magnifying vision too because Shouto could’ve sworn he left no trace.

Yet Shouto can’t find it in him to blame anyone. He knows as an aspiring hero he shouldn’t smoke, those reasons never matter at those desperate times he needed to smoke.

“Tea?” Nezu raises his pot of pink teapot, Shouto narrows his eyes at the paw (how did that paw hold the teacup?)

“Yes, thank you.” The cup is equally pink, with two cheerful yellow flowers on each side. This looks like a tea set Eri had.

Shouto sips the possibly herbal tea, trying to ignore the glare Aizawa-sensei is sending his way from beside Nezu.

“Todoroki, how long have you been smoking?” His sensei’s voice gravels, like he just woke up from bed, his bed hair supports the theory.

Apparently a little mental, Shouto said, “Overall or in school?”

“Both.”

“Started when I was in first-grade junior high school.” As soon as he has any time away from home. “In UA, as soon as I stayed at the dorm.”

“Now, Todoroki,” Nezu put his paws together, “You know someone as young as you shouldn’t smoke. You’re underage, and an aspiring hero on top of that...”

Nezu then continues his PSA on smoking. Nothing Shouto hasn’t heard. Every word goes in the left ear and came out the right. He also isn’t surprised that Aizawa will be taking his stash of cigarettes. It doesn’t suck as much because Shouto doesn’t have a lot left anyway, nor is he been regularly smoking. He smokes when he’s stressed and nothing else could calm him down. He never reached out to the cigs first. The coffin-shaped portable ashtray reminded him that.

As soon as he’s back at the dorm, he’s greeted with a cheerful environment. Half his classmates are hanging in the living room. There’s a group playing Mario Party, a group that’s putting on nail art, and a group that seems to cook something ambitious. Shouto usually joins the group, but not today.

“Todoroki!” Iida comes from the hall, “Aizawa-Sensei came earlier and ran through your room! He seems to confiscate a pack of cigarettes. I’ve tried to tell him that it’s all a misunderstanding-”

“No, it’s mine.”

“Todoroki! At our young age as aspiring heroes we sho-”

“Nope, sorry not today Iida. Good night.”

Todoroki feels a few eyes on his back, but he walks on. With him naturally keeping things to himself, his friends tend to worry but they trust him to reach out to them in his own time. When it gets too long they usually check up on him. Shouto wished they never will.

+++++

You have the power to be whatever you want, but why are you following the wishes of someone you hate? I know he’s your dad, but your life is yours, Shouto.

Shouto’s wish didn’t come true when Bakugou bugs him on the rooftop again two days after he was raided.

It’s Deja Vu, but fewer tears from Bakugou and Shouto isn't a pack and a half deep in cigarettes.

“I fucking know you’d be at my spot again!” Bakugou spat scathingly.

“Excuse you,” Shouto scowls, “I’ve been smoking at this spot since the dorm opens. This is my spot.”

“Well, I’ve been- I’ve been-” Shouto should’ve known that Bakugou would turn red and explodes instead of admitting he’d been caught emoting, “What the fuck are you doing here anyway! You’re doing nothing!”

“No thanks to someone.”

Bakugou narrows his eyes, confused at the implication, but his exploding friend is smart, so he figured it out, and isn’t happy with what he figures out. “The fuck, get your accusing eyes away from me discount Sans, I don’t tattle.”

“No, but you exploded the door which leads to Iida reporting it, which leads to Aizawa inspecting the premises, and him figuring it out that smoked here.”

“That’s just your fucking fault for not covering your trace clean!”

Shouto inhaled indignantly, but then too tired to justify himself. There’s no ending of arguing with Bakugou, and Shouto had learned to choose his battles.

“How about you? How did you get in here?”

“Stole a key from Iida.”

“Are you here to cry again?”

Bakugou’s palms explode, his face an embarrassed flush and teeth bared in anger, “WHOS FUCKING CRYING!!?”

“I have eyes.”

“You’ve been sucking on those death sticks way too much.”

“I wasn’t smoking that type of substance.”

“Whatever, I’m not dealing with this,” Bakugou turns to step away.

“I don’t get it, it’s not a big deal!” Shouto raises his voice a bit, for some reason his heart rate picks up when Bakugou starts leaving. “So what if you sweat through your eyes? Midoriya does it almost every day, sometimes twice a day...”

“Don’t fucking compare me to fucking Deku you fucking fried ice cream!”

“...And Midoriya beat you at this year’s Sports Festival,” Shouto dismissed.

Bakugou grits his teeth, but his eyes watch over Shouto. “Stop stalling and tell me what you want from me,” Bakugou growls.

Shouto’s eyes widen at the sudden honesty, he nibbles on his bottom lips, “Stay here?”

For a second, Bakugou glares at him, but after two years of being his classmate, Shouto can confidently say that they’re friends. He knows Bakugou isn’t angry at him. As to prove his point, Bakugou sits beside him, a bit closer than Shouto expects him to, though still with that permanent scowl. Shouto moves his palms from his pocket, letting go of the aluminum ashtray. Shouto tests the waters and moves closer so their shoulder bumps. No explosions, no snarl, success.

Instantly, Shouto relaxes. Focusing on the pressure of their shoulders, the light shifts Bakugou does (because he can never fully stay still), and the clouds moving. No thought, just being alive.

Alas, no quiet ever lasted long with Bakugou, he expected it though.

“No wonder Aizawa figured it out, this place still stinks of tobacco.”

“It does?” Shouto takes a deep sniff, all he smells is Bakugou’s sweat that always smells sweet because of his quirk. “I didn’t smell anything.”

“Yeah no shit scar head, your nose is probably numb at this point.”

“I don’t smoke that much.”

“Said someone who smoked more than a dozen in one sitting,” Bakugou’s nags turns to worry, “Damn, was it really in one sitting?”

“Is that worry I detected?” Shouto deflects.

Bakugou grits his teeth, “I’m not worried! Go die off lung cancer I don’t fucking care!”

“Good, then, because yes it was, and there’s nothing wrong with it.”

“Fucking hell it’s not! What the actual fuck are your lungs made of? I barely suck it past my throat and I almost coughed out my insides.”

“I missed your dramatics,” Shouto says genuinely, and he waits for an explosion to come. Bakugou doesn’t do well with praises thinly veiled with snark.

It never came, Bakugou watches him closely instead, “Yeah? And who’s fault is that?”

Shouto dared to glare back, but it didn’t last long, he knows the answer. Shouto had come out of his shell nicely, as Momo had put it. He’s still awkward, can’t really quite grasp ‘pop culture’ and how to correctly implied it, but he regularly hangs out with his friends. As of late, he’s noticeably withdrawn. Going straight to his room after class, and opting out of game nights, nail nights, and even soba nights.

They had been giving him space, which he finds endearing. Of course, Bakugou isn’t one to give anything liberally.

“Mine...” Shouto admits, and Bakugou looks surprised.

The fun part of befriending Bakugou is that Shouto could be a bit of a bitch and Bakugou would be a bitch back, and it wouldn’t matter. No one’s feelings were hurt, and Shouto can let go of steam without guilt. Shouto could’ve been in denial, said that Bakugou should step off his dick and no feelings would be hurt.

But he had enough of space, though admittedly, he should’ve confessed that with someone that wants to be in his space.

“Finally, you’re done moping around, everyone’s been on my ass worrying about you.”

“Why would they be on your ass?”

“Hell would I know.”

“Was that the reason you cried?” Shouto is just teasing, but the grim in Bakugou’s face isn’t a familiar one.

“I told you that didn’t happen!” he growls lowly.

Shouto considers, clueless yet curious. “I’ll tell you about me if you told me about you.”

“Just because you’re vomiting your crisis that I didn’t ask for, doesn’t mean I’m obligated to do the same!”

“Okay, that’s fine too.”

“No, shut-”

“My mom and dad are getting back together.”

Bakugou’s expression mellows to confusion, “That sounds convoluted as hell. Didn’t they just got a divorce or something?”

“They never got a divorce. She’s just sent to a mental hospital and never came home, doesn’t mean the marriage is legally broken.”

The fact seems to sink slow with his explosive friend, “What the fuck.”

Shouto sighs, looking down his jittery hands, his mouth dries. “Last year when I visited my mom, we were talking about the future. She said she’d filed for a divorce, and I’d live with her.” Shouto feels oddly numb, but there’s this dull ache deep in his chest that’s constant. “I should’ve known. She said that before he ‘tried to change’... she said that when everything was still bad, she thought it still happened.”

“What still happened?” Bakugou sounds angry, but he always does.

“I got hurt a lot when I was a kid, because of training. She thought he still hurts me.”

He felt the shoulder beside him tensed. Beside Shouto’s jittery hands is Bakugou’s clenched shaking fist. Shouto looks up from their laps and finds that Bakugou’s face... an eerie stoic.

“Hmmm,” Bakugou hums, and a chill runs down his spine. “When did you start training by the way?” not even a curse in that sentence.

Shouto realizes then, this is Bakugou truly angry, even though Shouto can’t figure out why on earth would he be.

“The day after my quirk manifested.”

His childhood is unforgettable. The day his training starts with fear and pain, then ends with exhaustion and anger. The day Touya never came back, the day his mom left, the longing stare towards the backyard wanting to play with his brother and sister. He remembers it all, like a tattoo in his memory.

“We been knew that Endeavor was an ass but I didn’t know he’s a fucking child abuser.”

The words snap him away from his musing. This time, Bakugou looks angry angry. Teeth-gritting, scowling, boiling anger.

Oh, that’s why he’s angry.

“It was training.”

“Not at five fucking years old you e-boy himbo!” Bakugou barks.

“That’s new, what’s a himbo?”

“Not the fucking point!” Bakugou takes his shoulder away, and suddenly Shouto feels cold. Then he’s held by his shoulders, pinned by sharp maroon eyes, and the lack of warmth turns cold when a growl says, “You’re telling me that your dad’s been abusing you, and no one stopped him? And he’s fucking getting away with it??”

There are so many things wrong with that question and implied statement. One is that it was not abuse. Two is that no one could’ve stopped the then number two hero. Three is that Shouto didn’t tell him any of that but Bakugou assumed anyway.

Shouto doesn’t get to say all of it as Bakugou lets go of him and takes deep breaths. Bakugou pinched the bridge of his nose, seemingly displeased at what he’s thinking.

“Why did you think your mom wants to get back together with your dad?”

Shouto feels relieved now they’re back on topic, “I don’t know. It feels like one moment she’s afraid of him, and now she wants to be with him again. I guess... he did ‘try to be better’. Everyone else seems to forgive him, but I can’t.”

Then Bakugou does something that he didn’t expect, he defends them, “I mean... He’s not that much of a dick now, right? He’s a dick but he was pretty alright when we have a work-study at his agency. And your mom’s better, so maybe they could make it work?”

Shouto knows it’s technically true, but displeasure clawed him still, his blood boiling.

“I don’t care whether it works! I hated that she forgives him so easily!” Shouto shouts.

“Well, that’s selfish of you, isn’t it! It’s her decision, not yours!” Bakugou barks back.

“What the fuck do you know about it?” Shouto spats, he stands up, “They’re going to destroy each other, and what then? Do they want me to just look at their trainwreck while they insist everything is okay? No! I’m not going through that again!”

“You’re just not trusting your mom! Things changed!” Bakugou stands up too, he looks exceptionally angrier than ever.

“No, I don’t. Especially after she said she wanted to get a divorce with him then changing her mind only a year later. Of course, I don’t trust her!”

“But isn’t it better to have both your parents together?”

“No, it doesn’t especially when she’s not happy!”

Bakugou doesn’t bark back, and Shouto only realized how Bakugou’s question was laced with a cracked voice. Shouto looks, only partially surprised that the eyes that look back thinly veiled with tears. The heat in his bloodstream wanes out, more worried/horrified that Bakugou is now openly crying.

This is the worst. Both of them are socially awkward lone wolves that have no idea how and what to do with emotions. So, Shouto does his #best.

“You can tell me.”

Bakugouu glares. Okay, so maybe Shouto’s #best isn’t what he needs.

“Only if you want, if you don’t then it’s okay too.”

“Shut the fuck up, thermostat.”

What else do you do when someone cried? Shouto racks his memories of times when he was crying a lot when he was little, trying to find examples he could follow. He remembers his mom.

“Come here.”

“The fuck are you trying to-”

Shouto cuts him off with a hug. It’s as awkward as it comes. Shouto has his arms around the broad shoulders, his chin hooked on the right side. Shouto doesn’t know how tight he should hug, but it’s enough to press their chest together. Then one of his arms, the left one, rubs Bakugou’s back, emitting a slight warmth. In two languid swipes, Bakugou’s tenseness bleeds slowly.

“I don’t know what’s wrong,” Shouto says, mimicking what his mom had said once upon a time when he’s upset. “But it’ll be okay. Maybe it’ll take a long time, or it’ll be really hard, but you...” have me, you don’t have to deal with everything alone, was what his mom finished with. He doesn’t know if Bakugou would see him as reliable, but Fuyumi had said that intentions are the most important. “You have your friends, and you have me. I don’t know what will help, but I’ll do it if you asked.”

Shouto surprised himself that he means it. When he encounters an emotionally fragile situation, he usually gets Midoriya, or Urakara, or Momo to handle the situation. With Bakugou however...seeing that his usually prickly friend tipping at the edge like this, Shouto felt like he wants to help. Perhaps it was the camaraderie of the S.S. Emotional Constipation that makes him reach out his personal hand towards Bakugou.

Shouto found another surprise when Bakugou hugs him back, his spiky blond head tucked at the crook of his neck. Shouto also didn’t expect the reflex tears pooling in his eyes at the feeling of tightening arms around his torso. He’s being held, tight and needy. When was the last time he’s held like this? Tears pours without his will when he realized the last time someone hugged him was Touya as Dabi when he was about to burn himself along with Shouto.

They stay there on the rooftop just holding each other as if they’ll fall apart if they don't. When Bakugou lets go, his eyes are even redder than it already is. When those red eyes look up, he noticed the tear streak down Shouto’s face and doesn’t comment about it.

Instead, Bakugou says, “My parents are splitting up.”

Shouto says nothing, only to pull him in his arms again.

They say nothing else as they sit at the same spot on the concrete floor leaning on each other, hand in hand. Shouto instinctually teared up again when he remembered the last time someone holds his hand was his mom as she walked him to a park, all those years ago. Other than that, it was for survival and fighting.

Bakugou leans his head on Shouto’s shoulder first, Shouto says nothing about it. He then leans his face on top of Bakugou’s hair, it feels like a bed of grass, Bakugou says nothing about it too. Shouto realizes that Bakugou can be vulnerable as long as no one points it out. Being untalkative, Shouto can do just that.

The future is scary, especially when their supposed foundation is changing. Bakugou’s foundations are breaking apart, while Shouto had grown accustomed to the torn apart pieces now move together crossing fingers that they fit.

But the future is for tomorrow. The changes are not theirs to make. All they can do now is hold themselves together as everything changes, hoping they don’t break in the process.

Eventually, nightfalls, but none of them moved. Shouto suspects that Bakugou might be sleeping on him.

It’s a suspicion no more when Aizawa found them there, and Bakugou doesn’t stir from being found. Those tired eyes already look exasperated as he finds Shouto’s tear-streaked eyes looking back.

Aizawa sighs, “Is it life-threatening ?”

Shouto knows that the teacher is prone to worries despite his appearance. Their stumble at first year seems to scar him and made him extra vigilant with his students ever since.

“There’s nothing we could do about it,” Shouto says, which is true, but seemingly a wrong thing to say.

“That doesn’t answer my question, trouble child.” Aizawa scowls, which means his worry cranked up to max. “Are the both of you facing a problem that harms you, or threatening your life?”

“It’s nothing like that,” says the bundle of blond in his shoulder. Bakugou sits up and stretches, yawning so big his jaw seems to unhinge a bit. He doesn’t look angry, just tired. “It’s family drama, you know how it is.”

“Is it really just drama?” Aizawa squints at Bakugou, too knowing for someone without a mind-reading quirk.

Bakugou looks at Shouto, searching and prodding. Shouto doesn’t understand what he could be looking for, or what he wants. Bakugou just sighs, “Yeah, just drama.”

Aizawa looks at Shouto too and softens. “If you two need to cuddle you can just do it in your respective room.”

“Nah, too many nosy people.” Bakugou starts to leave.

Shouto follows with a “Good night Sensei.”

Aizawa grunts.

“We can use my Elsa stairs,” Shouto pipes in as he walks alongside him.

Bakugou looks at him and huffs, “Turns out you’re not a himbo after all.”

Since Bakugou won't tell him, Shouto looks up ‘himbo’ himself. This raises a lot of questions about how Bakugou has been seeing him, but Shouto decides that he’d be offended by it.

++++++

You could still be lonely even though you have tons of sibling, or even when they really love you. I guess they just don’t know how to show us they love us.

He really should’ve known. He really should’ve fucking known.

The thought spins in his head as he smoked the last cigarette on his freshly bought pack. No one to catch him this time. It’s the weekend and he’s supposed to be at home, but it’s unbearable to be in the same room with his family. Usually, he could just slurp his soba in feigning ignorance but not now.

He’s sitting by the bench of a lonely park. He’s been sitting here since sun down. He has no idea what time it is. His phone in his pocket is on silent, he hasn’t checked on it since he walked out.

He should’ve stayed at the dorms, fuck the family dinner.

It’s not that Shouto wants things to end up badly. It’s not like he doesn’t want to be home, especially since his mom finally comes home after so many years. Everyone is happy that she’s back, even Natsuo, even his dad. Everyone except her. It looks so hard for her to be there. Shouto can see in her face that some places still hold strong bad memories for her.

His mother is strong because she pulls through. She holds herself through it all even though it seems only barely.

Yet why is he still so angry at her? Maybe not angry, frustrated. Shouto wants to ask her clarity. Why is she doing this? Why did she change her mind? Why come back here? Why not grasp the independence she had been telling Shouto she strived for? Was she coaxed to be here? Was she feeling some kind of responsibility to go back here? To salvage that sham of a marriage she had with Endeavor?

Shouto wants to ask, wants to understand. He crowded her with questions that moment when they said they’d be getting back together, only for his mom to wince, eyes widen, and quickened breath. For the second time in his life, his mom had looked at him with fear. Today, Shouto could barely meet her eyes again.

Is he really such a monster in her eyes just because he’s half his father? Then why go back to his father at all?

Shouto bought half a dozen packs as per tradition. Also because of his self implied tradition, he puts all the ashes in the coffin-shaped ashtray, even though there’s a park ashtray right beside him.

“You carry that everywhere,” Says a groveling voice that Shouto would notice anywhere.

Bakugou is in casuals. Black jeans and a grey hoodie seem like he’s out in a hurry. Just like Shouto.

“You’ve got to stop stalking me,” Shouto inhales deep, watching red amber burns till the filter and sighs.

“Who fucking stalking you Zuko.”

“Zuko doesn’t have-��

“Shut up,” Bakugou plop his ass beside Shouto, sitting waaay too close. He snatched the coffin tin, inspecting it. “Even when you didn’t smoke you carried this.”

“How did you know?”

“It shows your pocket, not big enough for a phone.”

Shouto knows he can’t get away once Bakugou began prying. “My first friend gave it to me.”

“That fucking Deku???”

“No,” Shouto chuckles at the image of Midoriya taking the role of what his first friend did. “It’s someone I met first-year junior high. She gave me this after introducing me to cigarettes.”

“That’s so fucking passive-aggressive I would’ve punched her in her teeth,” Bakugou grumbles, putting the ashtray to Shouto’s lap. “And why the fuck would anyone smoke at thirteen anyway!”

“Exactly because we’re thirteen, Katsuki, just because,” Shouto chuckles again at the memory. Seemingly too carefree from the nicotine, Bakugou had become Katsuki in his tongue. Katsuki bristles at his given name, but says nothing about it. It mysteriously made Shouto very happy.

“Among everything though, she was my first best friend, she teaches me a lot of things that make me who I am. She made me realize that I didn’t have to follow my dad’s wishes. That I can be what I want to be instead of what I was born for. That it’s valid to be lonely even though I technically have a big family. That it’s okay to not strive to be the best and just to be... happy.”

Shouto closes his eyes, remembering her lessons always fell bitter-sweet. But he’ll hold it in his heart forever.

“What you’re born for?” Katsuki says scathingly.

“Yeah, you know about this.” Shouto was told that Katsuki had eavesdropped on his conversation with Midoriya. Shouto was born to fulfill another man’s vendetta. A purpose first, and a son last.

“Seem like a wise person for a thirteen-year-old,” Katsuki sneers.

“She was, I loved her,” Shouto’s confession brings Katsuki’s face to a red grimace.

“Shit, I didn’t ask you to tell me your fucking secrets.”

“It’s not a secret.”

“Oh, really?” Katsuki spat bitterly, “Then why are you hiding your girlfriend from us?”

So many things wrong with that question. Shouto raises his eyebrows in surprise, “She’s not my girlfriend, and I’m not hiding her. She’s dead.”

The grimace fell like a hot potato, it would’ve been fun watching how Katsuki splutters if he didn’t look like he’s legit choking. “Holy fuck, that's... fuck, then why the shit you’re so stoic talking about it,” Katsuki seems appalled.

“It happens a long time ago. She seems accepting of her death that I... well I want to respect her decision.” Shouto knows it’s weird to not feel mournful of the departure of your closest friend. He still misses her, but she had been so positive until the very moment she left. Shouto was sure that she’s happy, so Shouto wants to be happy for her.

Katsuki paled, horrified, seemingly to misunderstand again.

“She had a terminal illness. Very likely no chance of survival. She chose to live her remaining time normally instead of undergoing treatment.”

“There’s... There’s no way her parents let her do that.”

“They’re economically challenged. They tried though, just too late in the end.”

“Fuck...” Katsuki cursed, running through his hair roughly. “Never thought you’d be the type of person to have life-changing moments like that.”

“A lot of people have proven to me that everyone has potential to be unexpected, and that’s just how it is.” Shouto looks pointedly at Katsuki, who glares at him in retaliation. “There’s a reason why we’re both here instead of home.”

“Yeah?” Katsuki mumbles, clearly not wanting to talk.

Shouto doesn’t too, to be honest, and yet keeping it in feels more exhausting, “My mom’s home.”

“No shit?” Katsuki was mildly surprised, “So it’s really happening huh.”

“It’s like walking on eggshells with her. I wanted to ask, but last time I did she flinched at me. I couldn’t look at her today.”

Katsuki sighs. This time, Katsuki is the one that scoots over till their shoulders touched all the way to their thighs. The contact makes Shouto breathes easier, he’s drawn to it like moths to a flame. His body goes limp as if it’s been too tense too long from holding itself together, and he drapes himself on top of Katsuki. Shoulder pressed together, his head heavily falls on Katsuki’s shoulder. Instinctually, his hand looks for another hand. Katsuki snakes around his hand and clasps it with his. It’s uncharacteristic, but Shouto finds himself grateful for it.

It’s warm, it’s damp, it’s grounding. Like lying on even earth after running away for so long.

“I don’t want her to be with him under the obligation that parents are supposed to be together for the kids. She’s been through so much, I would’ve understood, but I didn’t know how to say it without triggering her.” Silence follows, and Shouto realized what he said. “Sorry, uh, I’m not insinuating-”

“Shut up candy cane, I know.” Katsuki leans closer, his head on top of Shouto’s.

It’s warm, just what he needs in the middle of an emotional crisis at the beginning of November. It’s a bit out of character for Katsuki to do this, nor Shouto, neither of them are known for physical contact or talking about their personal lives. Yet here they are.

And Katsuki speaks anyway, “They’re fighting.”

Shouto, contrary to what Katsuki called him, isn’t a himbo. He knows who they are and he knows what a fight could entail.

“Did they hurt each other when they fight?” Shouto asks, then mused even if they did, could Katsuki do anything about it? Shouto couldn’t back then.

“No!” Katsuki says, indignant, “Of course not, they’re just bitching at each other about... about... I don’t know, it’s fucking stupid.”

“Hm, that’s good.”

“Fucking hell it’s good, they’re being idiotic!”

“They’re not hurting each other.”

Katsuki paused, his hands clenched tighter, “Did he hurt your mom when they fight?”

Shouto takes a deep inhale at the surge of memory. The fear that settles is old, he knows. Just leftover trauma that never went away, still, it bubbled to the surface, makes his skin cold.

Not trusting his voice, Shouto nods.

“They were fighting about me,” Katsuki says after a while, his voice a bit shaky, and Shouto knows better than to point it out. He keeps his head on the shaking shoulder and listens. “They didn’t know I was listening, they never did. They never... Turn-Turns out they didn’t even plan on having me.”

Katsuki holds his hand tighter and trembling.

“I’m a fucking accident,” Katsuki spat, venom dripping in every word. “Then they had a shotgun wedding, they didn’t even love each other at all.”

Shouto hears one escape of a sniff and lets himself relax, feigning clueless that Katsuki must’ve been crying. He lets the silence stretches until the hand holding his relaxed and the shaking subsides. Shouto had the same breakdown before. It downs to him that they’re not so different after all, children of a loveless relationship. Though he wonders if that instantly means he’s unloved. It had felt that way, but now... now it feels so much complicated than yes or no.

“Does it matter why we’re born?” Shouto hears a deep inhale of an incoming rant but he cuts it off with, “We’re our own person, with our own lives, and our own dreams. No one can tell us otherwise. Not even the one who makes us.” Shouto pauses and listens, what came to his ears is soft breathing, so he continues. “So what you’re not planned? That doesn’t mean you’re unwanted,” Shouto rubs his thumb over the damp knuckles, “You’re not unloved.”

Because Shouto had been to the Bakugo residence. Bakugou Mitsuki is as explosive as he is, but he can see her adoring stare at her son even when she’s scolding him. Bakugou Masaru is softer, always trying to calm both of them and giving small smiles when Shouto tells him stories about his son at school.

“What the fuck do you know, water dispenser?” Katsuki lowly growls, but it doesn’t have that biting hate, he doesn’t move away from Shouto.

So Shouto only hums and lets the silence stretch. He grabs the ashtray with his other hand, rubbing the plain surface with his thumb, remembering her, thanking her.

“What’s her name?” Katsuki says after minutes of silence, his voice with less snarl.

“Arisu.”

“... I’m sorry you lost her.”

And that’s what happened, isn’t it? Shouto may be able to let her go, but she’s still lost to him. Still hurts, Shouto still mises her. “Thank you.”

They didn’t let go of each other until Shouto’s phone rings. It’s Natsuo. His brother is just as unhappy about their parents' reunion, though for him it’s more about hating their dad and less about questioning their mother as Shouto did. Natsuo called to offer to spend the rest of the weekend at his place. Shouto immediately agrees, then he remembers Katsuki.

“Is it okay if I bring one of my friends?”

Katsuki instantly glowers at him.

“Who?”

“Katsuki.”

“Who??”

“Bakugou.”

“Oh, yeah sure. Buy some dinner on the way, I didn’t get to eat much.”

“Okay, me too.”

As soon as they hang up, Katsuki bares his teeth.

“Who says I’ll go with you, Pokeball?” His voice raised a bit, his arms crossing defensively.

“I’m not, I said if. You don’t have to, but if you want, you can.”

“No one fucking asked you for shelter,” Katsuki scoffs, facing away.

“I know...” Shouto knows Katsuki would rather leave than accept help. The only way he accepts it is that if no one acknowledges it. He knows Katsuki can take care of himself, but Shouto is the one that doesn’t want him to leave just yet. Shouto knows he’ll go back to Natsuo’s place only to hear him bitch about Endeavor when the real problem is with their mom and her odd decision.

“Can’t you just stay for dinner?” The desperation in his voice is real, Katsuki seems to notice it and is bewildered by it. “Please?”

Katsuki’s eyes widen at the magic word because no, Shouto doesn’t say it often, much less towards Katsuki, he had enough ego already.

Nose flared and fist clenched, Katsuki finally barks, “Fine! But we’re cooking instead of ordering take-out, I fucking know what you’re gonna get you soba simp. Your brother better has a kitchen.”

“He does,” Shouto replies, the upbeat tone in his voice is rare. Can you blame him? He’s excited that he’s not coming home, and Katsuki goes with him with his admittedly superior cooking.

At Natsuo’s apartment, Shouto helped Katsuki cook, nothing more than chopping stuff. Natsuo gave him a brief summary of what happened at home after Shouto left, but thankfully, he’s not saying too much because Katsuki is there. Once Natsuo finished talking and left to get beers, Shouto gives Katsuki an arm squeeze of thanks. Katsuki only grunts.

Dinner is ‘simple’ in Katsuki’s opinion. Stir-fried vegetables, miso soup, and hamburg steak. As always, it’s delicious, and Natsuo who’s none the wiser to Katsuki’s God-like cooking skill is blown away.

They’re in the living area on the sofa watching TV when Shouto scoots closer again. Natsuo is in his room studying.

“You can stay here for the rest of the weekend if you want,” Shouto says, bumping shoulders.

Katsuki frowns, eyes on the screen. “I don’t have my change of clothes with me.”

“You can borrow mine, I have some here.”

“Ran away a lot don’t you?” Katsuki sneers.

“You have no idea,” Shouto admits.

The sneer falls, “Why?”

“Just because I finally can.”

“You couldn’t before?”

Shouto shakes his head, finding his head heavy, so he lays his head on Katsuki’s shoulder again. “Before he was number one, he insists on using all my free time on training. If I didn’t, he’d take my phone, or the internet, or my manga, even burned them on some occasion. He even flushed my pet fish, rest in peace Kiya. Then he’s number one, and the dorms are established... so...”

Shout shrugs. He doesn’t reach for Katsuki’s hand this time, just pressed against him, afraid if he pushed then Katsuki would retract. Shouto doesn’t want to stop his newfound comfort just yet.

Then his hand is grasped by a firm clammy hand. Shouto keeps thinking of how Katsuki’s sweaty hands must be because of the nitroglycerin of his quirk. If he’s not thinking about Katsuki’s quirk then he’d think about how it makes his heart skipped a beat that Katsuki initiates the touch again. So yeah, clammy hands that hold him tight.

“Why didn’t you tell anybody?” Katsuki says, weaker than he’s accustomed to. It makes Shouto wary.

“I don’t know what is there to tell.”

A groan stretches, “What do I do with you?”

“Hey...” Shouto mock complains “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Does he still train you like that?”

Shouto feels a bit of whiplash with all these questions. Katsuki has been asking personal questions left and right, and Shouto doesn’t understand why answering it doesn’t feel as hard as usual.

“No, not since he became number 1.”

Katsuki scoffs, “Got what he wanted didn’t he?”

“Sometimes I wonder if that’s the case. When he got it, he didn’t seem happy, just angry. Then he started wanting the family he broke to get that number one spot.”

That renders Katsuki to another bout of silence. He knows Katsuki strives to be number one too, and at first, Shouto had ridiculed him about it. Why does a superficial title mean so much anyway? Katsuki changed over the years though, with Midoriya being the main cause of it.

Heart on his throat, Shouto dare asks, “Hey, Katsuki? Why do you want to be a hero?”

Katsuki tensed, but Shouto holds him tighter, “Why are you getting nosy all of the sudden?”

Shouto knows he’s not getting things easy, “I just wanna know.”

“Yeah, that’s nosy.”

“No, I just want to get to know you.” Shouto bites his lips as soon as the words left, was that too forward?

They’re not looking at each other, but Shouto can feel the glare directed at him. “Why?”

“We’ve been friends for a while...”

“We’re not fucking friends-!”

“...But I feel like I’m taking you for granted. I didn’t even know you’re going through something so big.” Some friend I am, Shouto broods.

It takes a few seconds, but Katsuki defeatedly sighs, and Shouto smiles in victory, “At first, I just want to be the best.”

“Best at what?”

“Everything...” Katsuki muses, his head knocked back, “Then I realized that it was an impossible goal... Did a lot of thinking, did a lot of uh, self-reflecting. Started talking to Ito-san too. I realized that I just want to be needed.”

It makes sense why Katsuki is here then. Shouto wished he could outright say that he needs him so Katsuki would stay longer, but just imagining him doing so already makes him pink in embarrassment.

Ito-san is the school counselor, her doors are open for every UA student. Shouto had half the mind to go to her, but there’s always this weight of silence from being a son of a high-profile hero. Endeavor always drilled him about secrecy and how he shouldn’t say anything about his family to anyone or it’ll ruin everything. It’s the reason why Arisu was his only friend, she was dying, and she did take his secret to her grave. Shouto still feels guilty about that.

“Have you ever talked to Ito-san?” Katsuki asked as if reading his mind.

“Can’t.”

“Why?”

“Everything that comes out of my mouth is tabloid-worthy. Endeavor had drilled me from way young that I can’t run my mouth about our lives. He’s right about that at least, I didn’t want paparazzi swarming us demanding half-assed rumors if I can help it. It had happened before, someone even sneaked into my mom’s hospital to reach her. I guess... that’s also why I never told anyone at all about anything.”

“You told Arisu didn’t you?”

Shouto bites his lip, guilt gnaws at him, “Because I know she won't carry my secrets long enough.” Please don’t hate me. Shouto’s grip on Katsuki tighten.

“But you told Deku, you told me.”

“Well, I trust you,” he says like it’s the most obvious thing. “You sure you don’t want to stay over?”

Katsuki leans away, and the cold strikes immediately. Shouto leans back, pointedly not looking at red irises.

“Fine.”

Shouto quickly looks up, then he finds Katsuki’s face odd. There’s something familiar with it. He’s... smiling, only slightly, but it’s a smile, and his eyes aren’t furrowed or angry or glaring. His eyebrows relaxed and he looks.... soft. Maybe Shouto fell asleep and currently dreaming.

“I’ll need to call my parents first,” Katsuki says after clearing his throat, looking away a bit flushed.

“Sure, I’ll get you settled.”

Shouto is half excited half worried. He told Natsuo that Katsuki will be borrowing the couch, which only replied with a hum while his eyes doesn’t leave the book. His brother is not unfamiliar with runaways. Shouto isn’t the only one seeking shelter at his place.

Shouto passes the balcony where Katsuki is screaming at his phone. Shouto can only hear muffles, but he gives Katsuki some privacy and gets some spare clothes. When Shouto sees that Katsuki is still on the phone even after ten minutes have passed, he takes the liberty of taking a shower first.

When Shouto walks out, he finds Katsuki sitting by the sofa, his hands suspiciously inflamed. He faces the screen but looking particularly nowhere. Shouto had seen those empty looks before.

“Katsuki?”

He jerks slightly as his name is called. Katsuki schooled his expression to a careful stoic, walls up. No matter, Shouto thinks, sometimes you don’t need to tear down walls to help a person, just hold their hand through the gate.

“Go take a shower, bath’s warm.”

Katsuki nods, taking the towel Shouto offered and the spare clothes. Shouto makes tea, for him, his brother, and Katsuki. Shouto delivers the cup of tea to Natsuo’s room, seems like the books are multiplying around his brother.

“Tea,” Shouto says before putting it on a coaster.

“Thanks.” Natsuo finally looks away from the book and takes a sip. “That Bakugou, how is he?” Natsuo asks, knowing that Shouto only brings his friend here in a dire situation.

The only other person he brought was Kaminari, believe it or not. Kaminari had said he didn’t want to come home for the weekend because he was scared of facing his parents after he came out via text. From the replies, it hadn’t been good. Kaminari spent the rest of the stay switching between sobbing and full-on crying. Only God knows why Kaminari asked him instead of any of the Baku-squad, but Kaminari is still his friend too, so Shouto provides.

But today with Katsuki is different though. Shouto had to beg him to stay, whether it’s for the benefit of him or Shouto the line had blurred.

“Hopefully he will be,” Is all Shouto can offer. Natsuo nods before going back to his book.

Shouto lays out his futon in the living room adjacent to the sofa. He’s laying down, scrolling at his phone. Putting his dad on read and ignoring Fuyumi’s and mom’s chatbox. He opted to look at cat videos instead. Soon, Katsuki came out of the bathroom, drank the offered tea, and laid down on the sofa.

They spent probably an hour separately looking at their phones when Shouto finally calls it a night. He turned off the lights, and tuck himself in. Before he said goodnight, Shouto thinks and his desires take.

“Wanna hang out tomorrow?” he asked.

Blood red eyes look at him from the screen, “Where?”

Shouto shrugs, “I don’t know, just around, get my mind off things. There’s a cat cafe I’ve been wanting to see, then we’ll go from there.”

Katsuki stares, seemingly thinking it over, “Have you ever been to a rock climbing gym?”

“A what?”

Katsuki smirks, sharp-teethed and evil, “Oh you’re in for a fucking experience, red velvet oreo.”

Shouto is a bit suspicious, even so, he finds himself looking forward to tomorrow.

+++++

I’m sorry for not telling you sooner, but you shouldn’t think that way. Of course you’ll have more friends. You’re more lovable than you think, Shouto.

Something changed between them after that weekend. Comfort grows between them. Comfort that they don’t want to let go just yet, perhaps not anytime soon.

The bad thing about it is that everyone notices. Everyone.

To their friend's credit though, they came to school together, walking very close to each other. It was fully initiated by Shouto, but Katsuki didn’t snap or push him away, so he assumed everything is okay.

Everything is absolutely not okay because the moment he walks to class everyone has eyes on them. Shouto thought it won’t matter to him, but Katsuki tends to be defensive. When Katsuki is defensive, he pushes people away. Shouto tried not to watch Katsuki for the whole class.

Momo noticed, of course, but she notices more than superficial things.

“Shouto,” Momo whispers, “Everything alright?”

Shouto gives her a smile and nods.

It’s not until they’re getting up for lunch that Shouto is tested in a form of Kirishima.

“Bakubro! How long have you been dating Todobro?”

The world screech halt, and Kirishima tensed at the sudden chill he’s feeling. When Kirishima found the source of burning in his back, he sees Shouto, glaring hard and terrifyingly at him. Face darkens, pupils small, ready to kill.

Kirishima squeaks, “He-hey, uh-”

“Back off Kiri, it’s none of your business,” is all Katsuki says. Not even a scream, just a conversational tone as if he’s bored. No defensiveness, no snarling at Shouto in retaliation. “The fuck are yall extras staring at? Move outta my way, I’m hungry!” Then he left.

No one is barging Shouto with questions instead. It’s out of character of his classmates to not poke their nose in something juicy, but as he drops his butt at his chair, he finds himself alone in class.

Shouto is left in class with a big wave of relief, so much that he couldn’t stand. Why is it that the thought of Katsuki pushing him away scares him this much?

A hand landed on his desk, he looks up to find Momo’s honest stare, “Something is not alright.”

Shouto sighs, “No.”

Unlike Katsuki, Momo never pries, only assuring that she’s there for him. Unlike Momo, Katsuki understands that some things can’t be fixed, wherein if he opens up to Momo and some others, they tried to help by fixing. The number of times his friends told him, again and again, to go to Ito-san when they found out about Dabi being his brother is an exhausting amount. Maybe that’s why Shouto has been more comfortable with laying his problems to Katsuki.

So he eats lunch with Momo in the silence of comfortable company, and there’s just that.

+++++

Thank you for being there for me. You’re the bestest best friend I could ever wish for. And you won’t be lonely for long, you’ll see.

Shouto has peaceful days following that first Monday. His comfort with Katsuki doesn’t change. Though they don't get together on the rooftop anymore (Iida never let go of his key since Katsuki managed to steal it), they still gravitate towards each other whenever they don’t feel particularly great.

Katsuki would approach and say things like, “They want me home this weekend.”

“You wanna stay at the dorms or my place?”

“Can’t. I know they wanted to talk to me about who I wanna stay with.”

“We can make up an excuse if you want.”

“Hm.”

Then they spent the rest of the day together, just sitting at the school’s lawn, looking at particularly nothing. And if they sit too close together and their clasped hands only partially hidden by their legs, no one pointed it out.

Shouto would approach and say things like, “Fuyumi wants to call me, I know she’s just gonna talk about how I’m tearing the family apart.”

Katsuki snaps from his bed towards the window where Shouto is stepping down from his Elsa stairs.

Katsuki’s shock then turns to fury, “Your sister, Fuyumi, THAT Fuyumi said that to you?”

“She wanted the family together. I think she’s frustrated that I keep making my parents' union difficult.”

“You know what, her spicy mapo tofu isn’t that delicious anyway!” Katsuki barks his hands clenched down mini-explosions. It’s one of Katsuki’s outbursts that Shouto doesn’t understand, nor does he understand why her mapo tofu is related in any way, so he doesn’t comment.

“I’m gonna head up to the roof, wanna come?”

“No, you’ll just smoke and you’d give me fucking cancer.”

Shouto feels cold, Katsuki had never said no from hanging out before, “Fine.”

“Who said you can leave? Come here!” Katsuki held his ankle from the balcony, gripping tight.

Shouto blinks, remembering what Aizawa-sensei had said some days ago. “Oh, are we gonna cuddle?”

Katsuki’s face set aflame, “Just fucking come in here Katy Perry, before I yank you by your stupid Poland flag hair.”

Shouto finds himself obeying at the thought of cuddling, but then confused, “Why Katy Perry?”

“Hot and cold.”

“I guess that’ll make sense if I know who Katy Perry is but.”

Katsuki spat a curse, “Alright, time for a session of pop culture.”

“But I already had them with Mina and Sero”

“And they’re doing a shit job about it if you didn’t know the person that shapes a whole ass generation.”

It started with a music video of Hot and Cold by Katy Perry and ends with a retelling biography of Lady Gaga. Who knew Katsuki is so knowledgeable about female pop stars.

“TELL ANYONE AND DIE,” He said after Shouto pointed it out.

Most important of all, they did cuddle. They were sitting on the bedside then suddenly they’re laying down side by side. They’re watching a gameplay video of a Swedish man playing a horror game, another important role in pop culture as Katsuki said. It’s an old video, and Katsuki said that the man owns some part of Antarctica, which Shouto knows it’s some kind of an inside joke.

The nights getting late, and Shouto is reminded of the text on his phone, how it vibrates occasionally. Shouto has been in Katsuki’s room for four hours, but he doesn’t want to go back to his room.

Katsuki notices him lingering, “You wanna stay here for the night?”

Shouto looks up from Katsuki’s phone with big sparkling eyes, “You sure?”

“Tch, I wouldn’t have offered if I don’t.” Katsuki looks away, exposing his neck that seems red to the tip of his ears, “It’ll be a little cramp though with my single bed.”

“I don’t mind it. Just don’t kick me out of bed.”

“No promises.”

Katsuki didn’t. He curled away from Shouto as soon as the blankets tucked. Their backs pressed against each other because of the small space. Shouto finds it hard to fall asleep, could be the new environment or the gnawing anxiety.

He’ll admit that Fuyumi is his favorite sibling. She’s there for him when he was condemned in that lonely manor only to train and study. Fuyumi stays back for him, tend to his wounds, cook for him, keep him company. Natsuo had left and rarely come back, even though he’s there for Shouto in the end.

Then his dad had a bootleg redemption arc and Fuyumi dropped him like hot potato and shoved both of them together despite what Shouto feels about his dad. When his parents are getting back together, Fuyumi stopped consoling Shouto and started to support them blindly. So desperate to have their family together. Doesn’t she know that there’s nothing to salvage? Doesn’t she remember what he did?

“I can hear you from here, air conditioner,” Katsuki grumbles, his back vibrates, “Go to sleep.”

“I’m trying.”

Shouto can’t stop thinking, can’t stop getting angry and getting hurt. It hurts when his sister is pointing the blame at Shouto, it hurts even more when it’s kind of true. It hurts that despite his fear of facing her, he still owes her a call at least. He’ll never be ready for what she’s about to say, never be ready to be hurt by her. Shouto turns around and buries his face at Katsuki’s back, ducking under the cover.

“What is it?’ Katsuki asks, not demanding, but Shouto’s floodgates are opened.

“I don’t understand how they could forgive him. He hurts mom, he hurts Touya to a point that he left and hates us, and he... he hurts me. It’s just training but-but- fine, okay, it hurt and I was scared most of the time that he’s not gonna pull his punches. Fuyumi forgives him so easily, and mom just went back in there even though they were never in love in the first place. It’s like they’ve forgotten what he had done, how deeply he scars all of us. Like what- like what happened didn’t matter.” Shouto’s voice breaks the whole time, a sob escaped in between the jumbled words and he’s trying so hard, so hard not to cry.

Katsuki turns around, his arms wrapped around Shouto’s hunched shoulders. A burnt sweet scent hits his nostrils, his face pressed against a defined neck and collarbones. All tenseness bleeds away when Katsuki starts rubbing his back, and tears break from his eyes without his will. Shouto wraps his arms around his friend’s torso, feeling his chest constrict when Katsuki mercifully says nothing about the silent tears landing on his chest.

He shuts his lips, pressing tightly because he’s not sobbing to Katsuki’s chest. They’re comfortable with each other but not that comfortable... right? Shouto’s tolerance to breakdown cries is thanks to exposure to crying most of his childhood, the same can’t be said for Katsuki. The hug is enough, it’s everything. Shouto never realized how much he craved being touched until that day Katsuki sits way too close to him.

His lips pressed tight keeping from sobbing, but his hands tremble on Katsuki’s back instead.

“Damn, you’re touch starved aren’t you,” Katsuki sighs to his hair, his face buried there.

“I didn’t know,” Shouto’s voice shaking pathetically, breaking at the edge and Shouto is too torn to care about it.

“Me too.”

Shouto doesn’t know which one Katsuki meant, but neither let go until they sleep.

++++++

I love you too, Shouto. Don’t be scared of letting people in, okay? Not all of them are gonna leave you, I promise.

Things get rough, but their comfort pushes each other through.

Katsuki chooses to stay with his dad, but he’s co-parenting with his mom. Katsuki spends his weekends at both their house, switching every weekend. There’s still tenseness between his parents, and Katsuki explodes whenever his dad or mom asks Katsuki about the other. ‘Stop fucking asking me! If you wanna know so much then you shouldn’t have gotten the divorce!’ Katsuki doesn’t want to hear their reasoning, feeling better to just accept the change and move on, but Shouto thinks he’s just not ready to hear it. Sometimes Katsuki stays at the dorms with Shouto or the Todoroki estate when he gets overwhelmed.

Shouto finally talks to his mom. At first, it didn’t go anywhere. She’s as unsure as Shouto, but her willingness to try and salvage the marriage is as honest as it comes, even though her feelings might not be there yet. It feels like hearing Fuyumi talk, hearing the same desperation and blindness in putting things together. It’s hard to understand her foolishness, but Shouto tried to trust her. Shouto’s opinion might have been persuaded a little when his father announced that they’ll be moving houses due to mom’s tense reaction to the place. It’s a plus that his dad is willing to do that for his wife, but Shouto is still keeping an eye on them.

Then things get better, but their comfort doesn’t stop. Shouto is comfortable in following his desires without questioning them, but he quizically finds that Katsuki seeks him too even though he no longer approach Shouto with that near tears scowl, and situation bomb.

“How’s your mom?” Katsuki asked out of the blue under the summer blue sky. They’re sitting by the school lawn, their backs to a tree trunk, their friends strangely been leaving them alone.

“She’s fine.”

“Then why did you want to meet here?” Katsuki murmurs, looking down at the comic book Shouto lends him but not reading it. The tips of his ears are red.

Oh, Katsuki is testing the waters, “I just want to be with you.”

Katsuki flushes, “Ew, where the fuck did you even get that cheesy line.”

Shouto pays the snark no mind. “We haven't had any excuses for being together lately, do we?”

Katsuki hums.

“Do you not like it?”

“It’s fine,” Katsuki grumbles.

“Say... If I ask you to go to a cat cafe this Saturday, will you go?”

“Satan in hell, cat cafe again? I still have fucking fur on my black jacket from the previous visit! I felt like we’ve been to all the cat cafes in the country!”

Shouto pouts, “That’s not possible.”

“Let’s go hiking instead.”

“Okay.”

Katsuki twist his head towards him, “You would?”

“Just us two right?”

“Obviously, there’s no way I’m taking those extras. Those nature documentaries made them wimps.”

Shouto only listened to the first word he uttered, “I’ll go with you.”

Then Katsuki looks him that way again. Soft eyes, relaxed eyebrows, fond stares, and the most devastating of all, a small genuine smile.

“Cool. Come to my place, we have to wake up early. I miss seeing the sunset there, it’s awesome.” There’s light in his maroon eyes, excited to go, and he’s taking Shouto with him to his hobby, his precious place.

Shouto feels warmth radiating from his chest all the way down to his toes, a smile blooms on his face. He’s been feeling this mysterious warmth pretty often lately, only now has he realized that Shouto is happy and that he hasn’t been lonely despite his current family strain.

Katsuki’s rambling about his favorite hiking spot is cut short when Shouto leans in to kiss the corner of his lips. The smile is exchanged with shocked parted lips. Shouto feels himself shrink by the silence of Katsuki’s loud mouth and the pinning stare of his sharp eyes. Blood rushed to Shouto’s cheeks, knowing that he’s blushing up a storm, suddenly nervous.

“Is that okay?” Shout asks, too cowardly to say that he wants more, closer, to continue being together for no reason at all other than just because.

“No.”

He’s grabbed by the face, and a pair of lips pressed against his. Shouto expected to be bitten, his head clawed, and his lips bruised. But the weeks he spent with Katsuki should’ve made him know better. Because the gentle hands cradling his face, the complete capture of his lips, and the soft nips are all unsurprising. Shouto melts away, leaning his whole weight so they’re chest to chest. He grabs Katsuki by the hips, pulling closer, kissing back.

Katsuki hums, and the vibration echoes on Shouto’s body deliciously. Katsuki’s lips taste sweet and hot as it moves to nibble Shouto’s bottom lip. The hands cupping his face moves past his neck. One is clutching his back and the other plays with the hair at the back of his head. Fingers card gently around his nape and Shouto has a whole body shiver.

Then the lips go missing, and Shouto goes limp in Katsuki’s arms, gasping for breath on his chest.

“And that’s how you kiss, Strawberry Shortcake,” Katsuki says smugly, patting Shouto’s back condescendingly.

Shouto scoffs and leans back. Katsuki still has that fond eyes as he looks at him, but now paired with a cheeky smirk. Shouto wants to kiss that too, and Shouto does.

From then on, it’s expected that he sometimes steps down his icy stairs just to cuddle with Katsuki, and it’s perfectly acceptable that Katsuki barges into his room and starts pulling his hand towards wherever he wants.

They’d still bicker sometimes, and sometimes Shouto unintentionally steps on some lines that set Katsuki to explode. Sometimes Katsuki is frustrated with him. Those days they fight makes him nervous.

But they always say their apologies eventually. Katsuki always comes back and tries again with him. Even when the fights are between them, they eventually get over it and get better while they’re still leaning onto each other for comfort.

Eventually, Shouto keeps the coffin ashtray in his keepsake instead of his pocket.

He’d like to think that he can finally let her go now that she’s proven right.

Shouto finds someone that loves him, someone that makes him happy, and someone that doesn’t leave.

++++

nicknames that didn't make it: Colgate toothpaste, hot pocket, tide pod, dry ice. nicknames that I magically forgot: Half and half.

Tag yourself as Shouto’s nickname, I’m water dispenser.

#todobaku #bakutodo #todoroki shouto #todoroki shōto #bakugo katsuki #todobaku fic #todobaku fanfic #Todobaku fanfiction #emocel's #I'm crying #i googled shouto's nickname for this #I saw 'Strawberry Shorcake' and I lose my mind #I saw a trope that Bakugo smells like caramel becs of his quirk and i lose my mind #todoroki shoto fluff #boku no hero #boku no hero fanfic #my hero academia #my hero academy fanfiction

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wandering-bard-from-the-id · 3 years

Text

Daughters of Arendelle - Chapter 48

Read chapters 1 - 47 at FF.net

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12222767/1/Daughters-of-Arendelle

I really am working on finishing this tale.

-----------------------

Chapter 48

September 18, 1840

Anna’s eye began to twitch. She rubbed at it, causing a bead of sweat to tickle her brow. Reaching to her sleeve for a handkerchief, she found it empty. I left it on Elsa’s vanity. Biting back a curse, she swiped at the annoyance with a fingertip, wiping it clean on the bandage covering her forehead.

She suspected the twitch, along with the dull throbbing behind her eyes, had more to do with Poul’s droning voice, than the head wound. Her back and legs had begun to protest against the unyielding wood of the council chair. How can sitting be so exhausting?

Stealing a glance at the clock, she wanted to groan. Less than an hour had passed since she’d arrived for the meeting. She hadn’t wanted to leave Elsa’s side, but the council had requested a meeting to update her on state affairs.

As Regent, it was her duty to govern, until Elsa was able to resume her duties. Words of one of her less tactful tutors whispered in her ear. There must be spares to heirs, in case the heir dies. That bit of news had sent her eight-year-old self crying to her mother’s lap, and the tutor seeking employment elsewhere. It had taken a visit to Elsa’s door, and a whispered answer from beyond, to satisfy her that Elsa was safe inside.

How she longed for the comfort of her mother’s arms. She shook away the thought. That comfort has long since passed, and there’ll be no whispered assurances of Elsa’s safety.

Elsa trusts me, I won’t let her down. She would act as Regent, even if it meant suffering through Poul alternating between complaining and bragging about his trip to France.

It didn’t help her bodice was trying to squeeze her to death. Alma had insisted it would help support her bruised ribs, instead it was slowly crushing her. On the bright side, if I pass out, I won’t have to hear any more about Poul’s trip. She swallowed a chuckle at the thought.

Tugging at the bodice, in an unsuccessful attempt to loosen it, she shifted, unable to find a comfortable position. The discomfort couldn’t distract her from thoughts of Elsa. She’d spent the last two days at Elsa’s side, with no signs of change.

Hours of talking and reading to her, had no effect. Unanswered questions swirled through her mind. How long can she survive without food or water? How do you heal magic?

Sighing she sank a little deeper into the chair.

“Are we boring you, Your Highness?” Poul’s arrogant snip pulled her from her thoughts.

“What? No, I just…” She straightened, heat burned her cheeks, as it had when her tutors had called on her for daydreaming. Poul is not my tutor. The heat cooled as she leveled a glare at the man. “Carry on, please.”

“Your Highness,” Bishop Solberg offered a sympathetic smile.

Anna found it almost as annoying as Poul’s snips.

“Perhaps we should adjourn till tomorrow. You’re still healing, we wouldn’t want to over tax you.”

“We can’t adjourn.” Poul bellowed, sweeping a hand over the stack of papers laying before him. “We’re not even half way through the agenda.”

Biting back a sigh, Anna couldn’t keep her shoulders from slumping. The thought of suffering through more of Poul’s rants caused her eye to twitch.

“If Her Highness,”

Anna’s teeth grit at the way Poul sing-songed her title.

“Isn’t feeling up to acting as regent, perhaps she should assign the duties to someone else.” His lips rose into what Anna assumed was an attempt at a smile. She found it mocking. “Just until she’s feeling better, of course.”

Her hands tightened atop the table. I’m Regent, I could knock his teeth out, no one would complain. They might even give me a medal, at least a plaque. She attempted a smile, though it felt more like a snarl. “There’s no need for that, councilman. I assure you, I’m more than capable of handling my duties.”

Oblivious to his impeding peril, Poul flicked a speck of dust from his sleeve. “It’s obvious the princess’s thoughts are elsewhere. Perhaps she’d like to take her leave and attend to whatever is more pressing than state business.”

“Watch your tongue, Poul.” Admiral Halldor warned, a hand coming to rest on his sword hilt.

Stitches and bruised ribs were all that kept Anna from leaping for the man’s throat. “You arrogant, pompous ass,” She was too angry to enjoy the way Poul’s jaw dropped in stunned shock. “My thoughts, Councilman, are with the Queen. I left her side to handle my duties as regent, as she would want. In case you have forgotten, her health and well-being is of great concern to the state.”

Poul’s face flushed an alarming shade of red, his mouth began to open and close as a fish gasping for air. For once, he seemed at a loss for words.

Reigning in her rage, Anna managed a civil tone as she turned to Halldor. “Admiral, you mentioned a report on repairs to the fleet. Please go ahead.” She glared at Poul, daring him to challenge her for cutting off his report.

“Yes, ma’am.” Halldor made no effort to hide his amusement at Poul’s expense. “With the help of Her Majesty’s kraken, we’ve recovered all of our fleet along with most of the Lienz’s fleet.”

How many of the dead were recovered with those ships? She couldn’t bring herself to ask the question aloud.

“Several of their ships were destroyed beyond repair.” Halldor said. “The captured Lienz ships are being converted to our needs. We are well ahead of schedule on repairs. The entire fleet should be ready to sail by the end of the month.”

“Good.” Anna nodded, her mind racing. “Admiral, with the addition of the Lienz ships, won’t that double the size of our fleet?”

“Actually, it will triple it, ma’am.”

Lost in thought, Anna’s mouth twisted up at one corner. “Could we decommission some of the older ships, and use them to replace some of the merchant and fishing vessels lost and damaged during the attack?”

It was Halldor’s turn to ponder. “I believe so, some of the older scout ships could be converted to fishing vessels, and there are several larger frigates that could be used by merchants.”

“So, we’re just going to start handing out ships?” Poul said.

“What do you suggest we do with them, Councilman?” Anna asked.

“Sell them. Build up the kingdom’s coffers.”

Something twitched in Anna’s gut. She couldn’t decide if it was anger, disgust or both. Why does Elsa allow him to remain on the council? “Councilman, our people have lost their ships, most don’t have the funds to replace them. It will cost Arendelle’s coffers nothing to give those ships away, and it will help those hurt by the war.”

“The Princess makes an excellent point,” Bishop Solberg jumped in, cutting off Poul’s response. “Many have lost or suffered damages to their businesses. They will need help rebuilding.”

Poul’s head shook from side to side, red flush crept up his neck and cheeks. Snapping papers about, he mumbled something under his breath.

Anna was glad she couldn’t hear it. Let him stew in his own anger for a bit.

“Admiral, begin selecting ships to be decommissioned, and we’ll work out a plan for issuing them to those in need.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He nodded.

“How are repairs going in town?”

Halldor shifted his arm sling. “Not as well as the fleet repairs, ma’am. Most of the docks were damaged. Teams are working on them, but it will be several weeks, possibly a month before all of them are reopened.”

“A month?!” Poul spun toward Halldor. Wood creaked under the strain. “Have you any idea how much trade revenue we’ll lose in a month?!”

“Not as much as we would have lost had the Lienz fleet taken the town.” Halldor’s icy gaze, caused the man to shrink back in his chair.

Ignoring Poul, Anna pressed on. “Admiral, please thank the crews for their hard work.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“What is the status of the traitors, Admiral?”

“We’ve identified Tollak, Baron Ulstein and Earl Stewart as the leaders of the rebellion, ma’am.”

“Earl Stewart, you must be mistaken.”

All eyes turned to Poul.

He cleared his throat before continuing. “Earl Stewart is a well-respected nobleman. His family has been in Arendelle for generations.”

“Be that as it may,” Halldor said. “We have confirmed he hired the mercenaries who attacked the Queen and her guard atop the North Mountain. Captain Olsen,” He motioned to the officer at his side. “Led a troop to the Earl’s estate the morning following the battle in town. Captain, give a report on your findings.”

“Yes, sir.” Olsen directed his reply to Anna. “Upon arriving at the estate, we were greeted by Lady Ursala. When I called for her husband, she announced he was deceased, and I was welcome to take his corpse back to town as she didn’t wish to soil her lands with it.”

“Deceased?!” Anna hadn’t meant to squeal. “How?”

“Gunshot wound through the heart, ma’am. I examined the body and confirmed he was indeed dead.”

“Through the heart?” Anna eased back in the chair. “Suicide?”

“No, ma’am. Lady Ursala caught him cleaning out his safe with money he had obtained by selling off her family’s lands. She confronted him about his involvement in the rebellion. He confessed to his crimes, at which point Lady Ursala drew a pistol, and shot him dead.”

“Really?” Nervous laughter left her in a snort, she covered her mouth with a hand.

“Yes, ma’am. Lady Ursala sends her regrets she did not realize his traitorous behavior sooner.

“Remind me to give her a medal.”

Murmured laughter circled the table. All but Poul found amusement in the quip.

“Lady Ursala, also sends wishes for the Queen’s speedy recovery.”

Mention of Elsa squashed Anna’s moment of relief. “Thank you, Captain.”

“It appears, ma’am,” Halldor said. “Tollak was the leader of the traitors in the ranks. He managed to place his men in key positions throughout the town and castle to cause the greatest damage.”

Tollak, Fingernails sank into the palms of Anna’s fists. He played me, just like Hans.

“Your Highness?”

“What?” She realized all eyes were upon her.

Halldor had the good grace not to point out her lapse. “I have the casualty reports, if you would like to hear them?”

No, I would not like to hear them. Steeling herself, Anna nodded. “Please, continue.”

Olsen handed him a sheet of paper.

Halldor’s eyes swept over it, his mustache dipping low. “Confirmed deaths during two days of battles, among Marines five hundred and thirty-four. Sailors three hundred and ninety-seven.”

Fingernails bit deeper into the palms of Anna’s hands, she said nothing.

“Royal Guard, seventy-eight.”

Faces of Anna’s guard detail haunted her vision. Her knuckles whitened.

“Wounded among Marines eight hundred and seven. Sailors six hundred and two. Royal guard one hundred and thirty-eight.”

“Why,” she swallowed to keep her voice from cracking. “Are the Marines’ losses so high?”

“Most of them were aboard the ships. Once the ships began to sink, they were either trapped below decks or were weighted down by gear and unable to swim to safety.”

Anna’s chest tightened, she forgot to breathe. Unable to answer she managed a nod.

Taking that as a cue to continue, Halldor picked up a second list. “Casualties among the civilian population are eighteen dead, one hundred and twenty-three wounded, so far.”

“So far?” The words left Anna’s lips as barely a whisper.

“Yes, ma’am. We’re still recovering bodies from damaged buildings and the sea.” His gaze dropped. “And there are a number of wounded who are not expected to survive.” Drawing himself up, Halldor looked her in the eye. “The coming days will give us a better sense of the total numbers.”

Anna slumped deeper into the chair, crushed beneath the weight of his words. Her mind swirled through the numbers. “So many lost.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Halldor agreed, sitting aside the paper. “Though I assure you, the losses would have been far greater if not for the Queen’s ice creature. It turned the battle in our favor when all was thought lost.”

Unable to speak, Anna’s head moved up and down in a slow nod. A thousand dead. Almost two thousand wounded. Something hot and wet trickled down her cheek. She swiped at the tear.

How many more are we going to lose? Elsa’s pale face filled her thoughts. Squeezing her eyes shut, she shook away the image.

“We have patrols searching for traitors, and the mercenaries who fled into the mountains. A few have already tried to sneak back into town and onto ships. The new port master is keeping a close watch.”

“New port master?” Anna pulled herself back to the present.

“Yes, ma’am,” Olsen said. “The former was working with Tollak.”

Anna noticed Olsen made a point of ignoring Tollak’s rank when speaking of him. It was a fitting insult. “Is there any word on the man who stabbed my sister?”

“No, ma’am. We located the area of the attack, but there was no sign of either man. We’re still looking.”

“Captain, when he’s found, I want him brought to me immediately. Understood?”

“Yes, ma’am.” He dipped his head to her.

“Admiral have you managed to get any information from Hans?”

“No, ma’am. Doctor Engen has allowed him to be moved to the dungeon, but he is still weak. I attempted to question him this morning without any success.”

“Keep trying, I want to know everything he knows about that disk.”

“Yes, ma’am. Your Highness, with your permission, I would like for Captain Olsen to begin replacing the heavy losses suffered by the Queen’s Shield.”

Heavy losses, The warmth of Morten’s blood covered her palm. She rubbed it against her skirt, unable to remove the imagined stain.

“We need to get trustworthy soldiers into those positions as quickly as possible. As long as there are traitors on the loose, we can’t afford for you or Her Majesty to remain unguarded.”

“Trustworthy soldiers…” Anna’s mind reeled, pulling her back to darker moments.

“Is that a yes, ma’am?”

She looked up to find Halldor watching her. “Yes. Yes, Admiral, do what you see fit.”

“Thank you, ma’am.” Halldor tugged at his arm sling. “There is one more thing I would like to discuss, Your Highness.”

“Go on.”

“With the Lienz fleet’s surrender we’ve been overwhelmed with prisoners of war. They are currently being housed in a warehouse near the docks. Conditions are not ideal, and it is taking a great deal of food and supplies to house them. With Your Highness’s permission, I would like to take a few of their stripped-down ships, load them with as many non-commissioned soldiers and sailors as possible, and send them back to Lienz.”

“No.”

Halldor frowned at the reply. “May I at least send the wounded back?”

“No.”

“Your Highness, the longer they stay here the greater the risk of…”

“If they are not pleased with their accommodations, they should have stayed in Lienz.” The chill in her voice could have rivaled Elsa’s ability to frost over a room.

“Ma’am, we’ve no reason to keep them.”

“They murdered our people! Why should they get to return safely to their homes and families?!” Anna’s heart began to race, blood roared in her ears.

“Might I remind, Your Highness,” Halldor’s tone took on a eerie calmness. “the Queen promised no harm would come to them, if they surrendered. She promised them safe passage home.”

“Then they should pray for her speedy recovery, because I made no such promise.” Muscles tightened along Anna’s jaw. Deep down she knew Halldor was right. Still, she refused to yield.

“Princess Anna,” Halldor held her gaze. “to break the Queen’s surrender terms would be a great dishonor not only to Arendelle’s reputation, but that of the Queen’s. If word were to spread of Arendelle having failed to honor terms of surrender, we would be seen as little more than pirates upon the sea.”

“Admiral,” Anna sat a little straighter, ignoring the throbbing in her ribs. She leveled a hard glare at him. “those men will stay where they are until the Queen is ready to decide their fates.”

“Your Highness, I must…”

“Enough!” Her fist slammed against the table with a solid thud. Pain shot through her hand, bringing with it a fresh wave of anger. She looked to each man as she spoke. “We have been attacked by traitors and thieves. I will not allow them to slink away in the night. The prisoners will stay where they are. I’ve made my decision.” She dared any of them to challenge her. None did. “We’ve nothing more to discuss. You may take your leave, gentlemen.”

Heavy silence hovered over the room. Poul was the first to stand.

The others followed suit, gathering their belongings in silence. Each gave Anna a curt bow before bolting for the door. Halldor tucked a leather satchel under his arm, and stepped to Anna’s side.

“Princess Anna, I know you are hurting, physically, and in your heart. For the sake of your people, don’t let that pain blind you to a proper path.”

She stared at the far wall, unable to meet his gaze. “Good day, Admiral.”

His mouth opened to speak, instead he sighed, offering a bow. “Good day, Your Highness.”

Walking away, his footsteps faded in the hallway.

As the council room doors clicked shut Anna slumped over the table, pressing the heels of her hands against her eyes. The pulsing ache that had been building in her head grew stronger. Damnit! Damnit all to hell! I can’t even run a council meeting without screwing it up. Her head bowed, fingers running through her hair, before digging into the tender flesh beneath. Elsa what am I going to do? Three days. Three days and she hasn’t stirred. What if she doesn’t wake up? No. Stop it. She’s going to wake up. She has too. Tears burned her eyes, she blinked them back, raising her head. She has too. “Kai.”

“Yes, Your Highness?” He appeared at her side.

“Help me into the chair. Please.” She reached for him.

“Yes, ma’am.” He slipped an arm around her waist helping her up. “Would you like to return to Her Majesty’s room?”

“Yes, please.” She didn’t want to go back to Elsa’s room. She didn’t want to sit and wait, watching as her sister slowly slipped away.

With a grunt, she settled into the chair, taking hold of the tiller. If only she could see Kristoff. She longed to feel the reassuring warmth of his hand in hers, but, that would have to wait as well. He’d gone into town to meet with the ice guild.

She would have to wait for his return. What else could she do? It was what she was good at, after all she’d had a lifetime of practice.

#Daughters of Arendelle #Frozen #Elsa #Anna

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superheroesofbothuniverses · 3 years

Text

An Enchanted Evening(Wintershock)

“I hear Pepper and Tony are throwing another Disney bash. You excited?”

Darcy looked up from her laptop as Clint stuck his head in her office to deliver the news. It never failed, if something interesting was happening, he’d be stopping by to discuss it. He was worse than her great aunts when it came to gossip, Darcy thought fondly.

“Yeah, but I’ll have to find a date. I don’t wanna be Giselle without a Robert, unless I can get Jane to go with me. She loves going as the evil queen.”

Clint looked confused.

“I thought you and Barnes were an item. I see you together all the time, looking all cozy.”

“Appearances can be deceiving, Clint,” Darcy sighed. “He doesn’t seem to want anything more than friendship right now. But he is pretty great at the whole friend thing.”

“If he did want more, would you go out with him?” Clint pressed, watching her searchingly.

“Totally,” Darcy admitted, knowing better than to lie to him. “But don’t you dare interfere and ruin this for me. I don’t want to push him away after how long it took me to get him to warm up to me.”

Bucky had been very skittish when he’d first arrived and Darcy tried the technique she’d used when befriending neighborhood feral cats: kept her distance while offering friendly greetings and looking as non-threatening as possible, left plentiful treats around, and cracked ridiculous jokes in his hearing in hopes of earning a smile. It had taken several months, but Darcy succeeded in Operation Befriend Bucky.

“Who are you and Laura going to go as?” Darcy inquired, trying to change the subject.

Clint grinned. “OutlawQueen, of course,” he supplied.

“Oooh. Going with the Once Upon A Time ship. It’s perfect,” Darcy admired. “Can’t wait to see it. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a lot of work to do if I’m going to be able to afford the dress I’ve got my eye on.”

“Just so long as you show up,” Clint relented. “See ya, Doc.”

With a wink, Hawkeye made himself scarce and Darcy returned to her work, trying not to picture Bucky dressed as a Disney prince.

Bucky had just finished an intense workout and was trash talking Steve in a way only a best friend could get away with when his long suffering friend decided to turn the tables on him.

“So I hear you’re the only one who hasn’t RSVP’d for the big disney ball,” Steve commented. “Thought you would be going with Darcy.”

“How many times do I have to tell you we’re just friends?” Bucky sighed.

Steve gave him a look of utter disbelief and sighed.

“Still in denial. But you do know you can accompany her as a friend, right?”

“And have to hear you lot gossiping even more? No thanks,” Bucky muttered, even as he really wished he had the guts to ask Darcy. Despite what he’d told Steve, Bucky was very interested in the new astrophysicist in a definite more-than-friends way, but so far, he hadn’t seen any signs that she shared this interest, so he’d stayed quiet rather than ruin one of the best friendships he’d made in his post-Hydra life.

Steve just smiled knowingly at him.

“If you change your mind, Darcy is going as Giselle from Enchanted. Nat told me yesterday. They’re going shopping for dresses tomorrow.”

“Never heard of her,” Bucky muttered, splitting off from Steve to take the stairs to his floor. The next evening, a Blu-ray of Enchanted had appeared on his coffee table. Bucky turned up his nose, but Natasha’s commanding note had him sighing and watching the movie anyway.

Despite the typical Disney cheesiness, Bucky found himself enjoying himself and actually laughing a few times at the antics of the ridiculously over the top Prince Edward. Robert seemed a more realistic hero for once and he found himself sympathizing with the man. Bucky was pretty sure there wasn’t going to be a happily ever after for himself, either.

After the movie ended, he sat and thought for a while, then called Natasha.

Darcy bought her dress, shoes, and jewelry, happily spending way more than she normally would thanks to her long hours and careful saving up for the day. The wine colored fit-and flare dress looked amazing on her and the skirt swirled in a very satisfying manner when she turned around.

“You’re going to be turning heads tonight,” Natasha commented as they hauled their purchases home. “Especially a certain someone.”

She wiggled her eyebrows and Darcy sighed.

“Whatever you say. I have no comment,” she said rather stiffly.

Natasha laughed.

“You say that now,” she said.

In the end, Darcy went by herself to the ball, having chickened out about asking Bucky, which she was already kicking herself for. Oh, well. At least she looked fabulous in her dress that looked just like the one Amy Adams wore for the dance.

She perked up a bit when she got to the fancy ballroom Tony had rented and met the rest of the Avengers in full costume. Sure enough, Clint and Laura were Robin Hood and Regina and looked amazing. Tony and Pepper were Captain Hook and Emma Swan.

“Aren’t you a little grey to be Captain Hook?” Darcy teased him. “But that’s a nice costume.”

“Hook’s a lot older than he looks,” Tony replied, waving his fake hook hand around.

Natasha and Steve were Ariel and Eric, which was an unexpected choice, but Nat looked great in her slinky, iridescent turquoise dress and Steve was a fabulous prince. Sharon and Sam were Rapunzel and Flynn Rider and Wanda was Princess Elsa, complete with a gorgeous icy blue dress and fabulous blonde wig. Thor strode around dressed like Hercules and Darcy hung out with him for a few minutes, exchanging small talk.

“Are you also unaccompanied, Darcy?” Thor asked.

“Yeah,” she admitted. “But I’m hanging out with friends and feeling fabulous, so I’ll be alright,” she assured him.

She completely forgot what she’d planned on saying next because Bucky Barnes arrived and was looking so gorgeous, she found she couldn’t breathe.

Bucky, feeling stiff and awkward in his fancy costume, was keeping his eyes peeled for Darcy, even as he greeted Steve, Nat, and Sam, all of whom seemed very surprised, but pleased to see him.

“She’s over by Thor,” Nat whispered helpfully and Bucky looked where she indicated and felt his heart skip several beats and his mouth go dry.

Darcy was looking incredibly gorgeous in a dress like the one from the movie, which was a simple design, but very flattering on her. She’d left her dark hair down and had simple silvery earrings that sparkled in the light from the massive overhead chandeliers.

In this moment, Bucky knew he was a goner. These were NOT platonic friendly reactions he was experiencing right now. Not at all. She locked eyes with him and her own widened, and she full on smiled at him, which propelled him towards her, now oblivious to everyone else in the room.

Darcy swallowed nervously as Bucky approached, looking stunning in an embroidered dark blue jacket clearly meant to replicate Robert’s costume from Enchanted. He’d pulled his hair back into a small ponytail and it only added to the appeal.

“Hi,” she said softly, giving him a smile.

“Hi,” he answered back, looking at her in a way that made her feel downright giddy.

“Wow. Darcy, you look beautiful,” he told her, sincerity oozing from his voice.

“Why thank you,” she replied, trying to resist the urge to fan herself. “You’re looking pretty fabulous yourself. I’d say what a happy coincidence we picked the same movie, but I know our meddling friends better than that.”

Bucky grinned at her.

“Yep. And I have to tell them they were right later.”

“Right about what?” Darcy asked, knowing what the answer was but wanting to hear him say it.

“That I’ve got it bad for you, doll. I didn’t think you felt the same way, so I’ve been trying to ignore it, but I don’t think that’s possible anymore.”

The way he was looking at her was giving Darcy tingles all over and she took a step close to him.

“We’re a couple of fail boats then, because I’ve been feeling the same way, and was also convinced I was stuck in the friend zone,” Darcy admitted. “All our friends could see it, but we sure were oblivious.”

“We were. As a trained spy, I should be embarrassed, but I’m just happy,” Bucky told her. “Wanna dance?”

“Gladly, handsome,” she told him. “I heard you’re very talented in that department.”

Bucky flushed a bit, but shrugged.

“People exaggerate, but I did enjoy it back in the day. Let’s hope I’m not too rusty.”

If Bucky was rusty, Darcy certainly couldn’t tell because she was enjoying herself too much. She’d never danced with a guy who could lead as well as he could and it was glorious. Looking into his blue eyes, she couldn’t help but flush at the expression in them and wondered if she looked equally smitten.

Bucky was thinking about how perfectly they fit together and how her eyes were downright sparkling. That look she was giving him was downright dangerous and he never wanted this moment to end.

They ended up dancing through three more songs before Darcy pulled him away from the party.

“Tired already?” He asked teasingly.

“Bucky Barnes, you’d better kiss me right now, or so help me, Thor…..” she threatened playfully, pointing her finger at him. She didn’t have to say it twice. Bucky had been wanting to kiss her for a long time and just like with the dancing, proved to be very skilled.

“That good enough for Ya?” He finally asked.

“It’s a great start,” she whispered as she caught her breath.

Across the room, their friends looked on in amusement and approval.

“Nice work,” Steve told his girlfriend, who was looking very pleased with herself. “I thought you’d have to lock them in a closet or something.”

“Don’t think that wasn’t on the table if they kept being oblivious or Barnes refused to show up tonight,” Natasha admitted. “And I used to think YOU were the stubborn one.”

Steve laughed.

“You’re my favorite Disney prince, Bucky Barnes,” Darcy told him as they swayed together to a slow song.

“Just don’t expect me to sing or talk to chipmunks,” he muttered playfully. “Gotta draw the line somewhere.”

#wintershock #fluff #Disney inspired #darcy lewis #Bucky Barnes #I just watched enchanted

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gryfon-spanish-werewolf · 3 years

Text

A Sister Like You

Inspired by this post in which Elsa her 8yo self and Anna is her 18yo Frozen 1 age at the same time, AND @themountainsays ‘s tags about how it could make an interesting bastard!Anna au.

Special shout out to @like-redhead-probably and @daughterofhel for your encouragement! And pssst @jabs-wocks this one is much cuter and fluffier, I promise <3

Edit: Ao3 and FF.net

---------------------------------------------------

The king and queen had a terribly kept secret: their firstborn was a bastard.

It was a terribly kept secret because, well, everyone loved her.

Anna of Arendelle was too much like sunshine on a cloudy day for people to hate her. The cooks loved her because she wasn’t a picky eater like her father, and the maids loved her because she always helped mend the sheets she ripped during her playtime. The gardeners and stablemen loved Anna because she talked to the ducklings and horses and goats, and even the flowers weren’t ignored. The people loved her because she was a bright child who walked among the crowds in the market and bought pastries from the local baker with a smile full of missing baby teeth. Anna danced with the town’s children during the festivals and chased after ships until the end of the dock as they set sail.

And perhaps most importantly, her parents loved her - one of blood and one of adoptive heart. They promised to care for the little red-headed baby as their own, regardless of what people said.

Truly, Anna was a light in the dark, even as a toddler, a fire in the midst of winter during her childhood years, and that warmth only soared to bonfire heat with the birth of the first true princess, her little sister, Elsa.

Anna’s love for Elsa was similarly earned in the way it was passed to her: instantly, freely, and without hesitation.

Elsa was born in the midst of a terrible winter storm that ended as soon as Anna was let into the birthing room. The king was right behind her, kissing his wife’s head sweetly as they peered down at their second daughter. The question was asked if Anna wanted to hold her little sister and Anna nodded furiously, already getting a leg up on the bed. They laid Elsa in her arms and Anna's eyes filled with wonder at the tiny bundle. She sat completely frozen, not wanting to move or change her position lest she disturb Elsa. The babe fussed and grabbed Anna’s small finger in an even smaller fist. Everyone in the room fawned over the action.

“She’ll be queen, right?” The king and queen exchanged a glance, hesitant. Anna had not seemed put out by the fact that she would never officially rule, but she was only ten, and they weren’t sure if that would always be the case.

The king cleared his throat. “Yes, darling. She will.”

Anna looked back down at her baby sister. Looked at her like she was her whole world. Elsa hiccupped a little and Anna smiled her blinding smile.

“I can’t wait,” she said, wiggling her trapped finger back and forth so Elsa turned towards the motion. “She’s gonna be great! And I’m gonna help her!”

The mood shifted instantly and everyone relaxed, rejoicing. Elsa’s forehead wrinkled at all the noise and she began to wail until Anna soothed her, shushing all the adults with a serious tone. They did, but not without some laughter.

And then Elsa sneezed.

Frost dusted Anna’s twin braids and bangs. She blinked. Everyone stared in complete shock. A small snowflake fell delicately from nowhere to land on the tip of Anna’s nose. In her arms, Elsa made little noises of satisfaction and nestled herself further into Anna’s hands before falling asleep.

“I take it back,” Anna whispered excitedly while the room found their tongues. “She’s going to be the best!”

-------------

In the middle of the night, Anna crept through the darkened hallways of Arendelle castle, easing the door of her parents’ room open. She lifted, with some effort, the door from the bottom with her toe so it wouldn’t squeak and give her away. She closed it just the same, sidling over to the crib along the far wall. Voices came from the opposite side of the room, in the connected bathroom.

They were arguing. Again.

She couldn’t remember them arguing when she was little, but Anna wasn’t sure that was because they hadn’t, or because they’d not had a reason to.

Because now they were always arguing about Elsa.

Anna dragged the stepstool up to the side of the crib. Elsa was deeply asleep, mumbling vague syllables as Anna rocked her bed gently with her knee. Half a year had passed and Elsa kept getting bigger everyday. Her hair was growing out, her cheeks were soft and pudgy (“Just like yours!” The staff would often remind Anna), and she had started to laugh and laugh and laugh at all of Anna’s antics. Anna was utterly enchanted by her, her little sister was genuine magic.

And of course, Elsa was literally magic, too.

Raised voices rebounded around the walls as the king and queen found new ground to battle over. Anna saw Elsa’s lower lip wobble and put her hand down into the crib so Elsa could hold it. With her other hand she touched the bandages around her head.

“It’s okay,” Anna murmured, “I know it was an accident.”

They’d been playing Peek-a-Boo.

Anna had surprised Elsa for the hundredth time with a joyful, “Here I am!”, only this time Elsa had placed her hand on Anna’s temple as she giggled and there was a flash of white. The next thing Anna knew she was on horseback, jostled back and forth in the king’s lap. They rode hard, to a clearing she didn’t recognize. Creatures rolled out of the mist and popped open, revealing themselves to be trolls. Anna would have been excited under normal circumstances, but the looks on the king and queen’s faces, and the fact that Elsa was crying her tiny lungs out, had her clamping down on any questions.

The adults talked, human and troll alike, but Anna was having a hard time paying attention. Elsa was so far away, upset, and she couldn’t reach her. Her body felt stiff and cold, especially her head. She couldn’t stop shivering. One of the trolls saw her reach out from the king’s arms and told everyone that Anna was awake.

The old troll informed her gravely that her life was in danger, that Elsa’s power would only continue to grow. He showed her images with his magic: a figure in blue turning water to ice, then being pounced upon by figures in red. They were beautiful, and frightening, making Anna’s heart pound sluggishly in her chest. The queen and king said the troll could do whatever he needed to save Anna’s life and protect Elsa from such a fate. The troll approached Anna, with more magic shining in his rocky palm, and said that everything would be fine, that it was just her head and not her heart. He chuckled humorously.

“Much better to lose a few memories than your life.”

Anna refused.

The adults sputtered.

“Will I remember Elsa?”

“Yes, of course but-”

“Will I remember her magic?”

“The magic is what did the damage, and to remove it I would remove-”

“Then no.”

And she wouldn’t hear it any other way, even as her body grew colder and the vision on her right fractured and split. A frozen headache pulsed at her temple, spreading rapidly across her skull. Still, Anna sought out the sound of Elsa’s voice, even though others were getting in the way. She couldn’t tell who was who. Some of them wanted the troll to do it anyway, that Anna was just a child, only ten, and didn’t know better. Some wanted Anna’s wishes to be respected, that perhaps there was another way. Even more worried about the future, the kingdom, what it might mean to have a queen with powers… or a bastard without memories of them.

What were the consequences of hiding Elsa’s powers from the public? What were the repercussions of making the same mistake over and over, if Anna was literally unable to remember the danger?

So many questions, so many voices.

All of them wanted her to live.

Anna took air into small lungs embedded with ice shards, speaking softly but clearly even as fatigue stole over her.

“Elsa’s powers are a part of her. Forgetting them means I’m forgetting part of Elsa. I don’t want that. How can I help her if I don’t know her?”

When Anna next awoke she was in her room back at the castle, wrapped solidly in blankets. Summer sunlight filtered through the curtains, bright and cheerful. She thought perhaps it had all been a dream, and she’d been allowed a rare day to sleep in.

In fact here was Gerda, thankfully with breakfast, walking through the door. Anna sat up to make space and shot her a cheerful, “Good morning!”

Gerda dropped everything she was carrying in one huge clatter and rushed to Anna’s side, burying her in a deep hug.

“Oh, my little Princess!” She always called Anna that, even though she wasn’t really. “We thought we were going to lose you!”

Anna went to protest but spied her reflection in the mirror over Gerda’s shoulder. Her hair was it’s usual post-slumber mess, but this time instead of it being held away from her face by sheer luck, it was by bandages.

Gerda set about getting her dressed and fed and ready for the day. She did Anna’s hair last of all, delicately peeling away the strips of cloth. It hurt a little, but not too bad. Anna wasn’t sure what she expected to see as the source of the pain, but that wasn’t it.

“Did I get some of the powdered sugar in my hair?” She asked.

Gerda looked sad, gazing at Anna through her reflection. “No my dear, that’s…” She paused, deliberating. Anna touched the white streak at her temple, following it back where it disappeared behind her ear.

“I don’t know all the details,” Gerda finally continued, “but I’m told you were very brave.”

Anna watched Gerda comb the white streak into her braid and remembered.

And to her everlasting relief… she remembered everything.

-------------

Anna and Elsa grew up, little by little, leap by leap. Space was cleared out in Anna’s room for Elsa’s bed and things, but by that time they were already inseparable. From the moment Elsa could walk she followed Anna everywhere. Laughter was common, and anyone in the castle who caught an earful of it drifting and caterwauling through the halls always gave a smile. Unless it was followed by the sound of something breaking, then it was usually a kickstart to a sprint.

As Anna edged into her teenage years things got… a little silly. Now at ages fifteen and five, the girls could get into all kinds of mischief. Nothing terrible of course, mostly playing knights in the hallways with the armor and freezing their tutor’s inkwell after a particularly difficult day of study. But then of course, there was the time Elsa made sleeping versions of them to fool people into thinking they were tucked away for the night, only to get caught sneaking into the fjord waters for a late night swim. Or the time Anna pretended Elsa was sick and was only taking requests through the door - requests that included chocolate cake, chocolate chip cookies, hot chocolate (in summer), chocolate mousse…

The future that the king and queen feared never came to pass; Elsa’s powers indeed grew as she did, but they were tempered with the practice that came along with frequent use, namely entertaining herself and her older sister. Anna never got tired of watching Elsa, “Do the magic,” and Elsa never got tired showing her.

Anna’s sunny disposition never wavered even when others thought it might, when, despite their closeness, familial bonds, and education, Anna’s status as an out of wedlock child started to become more frequently pronounced. If anything, Elsa took more offense to her sister being addressed as, “Lady Anna,” while she got “Princess Elsa”, than Anna ever did.

“But you are a princess!” Elsa protested one night. They were both in their respective beds, across from each other, flat on their backs as they watched the hues of the Northern Lights waver over their ceiling.

“I’m technically half adopted,” Anna clarified.

“What does that mean?”

“It means one of our parents isn’t my flesh and blood parent, even though I call them Mama and Papa just like you do.”

“That’s so weird,” and Anna could hear Elsa’s frown from her side of the room. “Which one?”

Anna shrugged. “I dunno. It’s not like I haven’t wondered, but it just, never seemed to matter enough to ask.”

“I could ask.”

“No, sweetheart, you don’t have to.”

“But I wanna know!”

Anna sighed. She watched the lights dance a moment before saying, “I don’t.”

“Oh…” Elsa went quiet. “Can I ask why?”

“Sure you can.”

A few seconds passed before Elsa huffed irritably and Anna grinned in the dark. “Why don't you want to know?”

“I want to be mysterious,” Anna teased.

“Anna!”

“What? If you get to be queen, then I want to be the spooky, strange older sibling!”

She expected a laugh but was met with silence.

“...Did you wanna be queen?”

Anna opened her mouth to reply how she always did, but stopped. This was her sister, not some dignitary in a hushed tone or some drink toting duchess at a dinner party. She deserved a real answer.

“No,” Anna said finally, “not really anyway. Even when I was little I didn’t dream of holding Papa’s scepter or wearing Mama’s crown. I felt like that was their thing, and you had your thing! And I was… am, happy just being me.”

“Is that because you really never thought about it, or because someone told you it would never be yours?”

Anna’s brows knit together and she sat up quickly. “Hey,” she smirked, “who said you could be a five-year-old philosopher?”

“Sorry!” Elsa sat up too, her arms hugging her bed sheet covered legs. “I just think you’d be really good at it!”

“Good at it?” Elsa nodded, the Lights roaming through her hair. “What makes you say that?”

“Well…,” Elsa began rolling her hands in a circular motion. A small ball of twinkling snow appeared between her hands, rotating gently. She did this whenever she was thinking. “You’re smart and patient and kind. You’re always explaining things to me, and telling me stories. You help me when I’m mad at my homework or miss a stitch while sewing. You’re always thinking of new games to play, you read me books and take me out into the town for a day of fun! And you always save some of your peas from dinner for the ducks in the pond. You claim it’s because you hate vegetables but really it’s because you know it’s their favorite snack.

“But as much as you teach,” Elsa continued, the snowball spinning and sparking, “you also listen. You know everybody in the whole castle’s birthday. A sailor told you that he always missed the baker’s lun epleterte when he was out at sea, and now the baker always has extra when he sees that ship come home. Kai mentioned once that his favorite flowers hadn’t bloomed yet in the garden so you staked out the hedge for weeks. The moment they bloomed you ran to go find him, a few flowers already in your hands. You’re very-,” Elsa paused, her hands stopping too. Her lips twitched in annoyance. “I don’t know the word. But you know people and you care about them, and I think that would make you a great queen.”

The little snowball shrunk and disappeared, returning the room to the flickering patterns of pinks, blues, and greens of the Lights. Anna propped her head and elbow up on her thigh. “Hmm, I suppose you’re right. But that doesn’t change the fact that I’m not really interested, and even if I were, I still couldn’t.”

Elsa waved her hand dismissively. “When I’m queen I’ll just make you queen too.”

Anna scoffed, though not without humor. “That’s not how it works.”

“Says who? I’ll be queen! Who’s gonna say no?” Elsa barreled on, not waiting for Anna’s response. “It’ll be perfect: I’ll be Queen, you’ll be Royal-Big-Sister-Queen, and then you and I can both do whatever we want! We’ll be perfect together!”

“‘Royal-Big-Sister-Queen’? That’s not a thing.”

“It will be,” Elsa replied confidently. Anna exhaled heavily, a smile on her lips. Elsa noticed her lack of enthusiasm. “Okay, I’ll work on a better title but…, I just don’t want people thinking that you’re not part of my family.”

Anna’s eyes softened. “C’mere you.”

Elsa kicked off her covers, grabbed the stuffed penguin Anna had made for her fourth birthday, and ran on bare feet to Anna’s bedside. She lifted her arms and Anna picked her up, nestling her close. “It will never matter what other people say about me, because I know that the family that chose me, and that I choose right back everyday, loves me very much, and just wants me to be happy.”

Anna ran her pinkie softly down the bridge of Elsa’s nose. Her little sister blinked drowsily when Anna did it again. “What do you think about that?” She asked quietly.

“I think… you’re my best friend-older sister,” Elsa said softly as sleep dragged at her, “who tries to put her cold feet on my back when we sleep together, always forgetting that I can’t feel the cold.”

Anna chuckled low in her chest. “And I think you are my sweet-but-silly little sister,” she replied, tweaking Elsa’s nose which made her giggle, “who is always stealing the blankets despite claiming she’s never cold, leaving me to freeze to death.”

Elsa cuddled closer to Anna, yawning fiercely. “I promise I’ll share them tonight. Pre-Queen’s honor.”

Anna put a hand to her chest. “That’s a big promise, your Almost-Majesty. How do you know you’ll keep it?”

Elsa already had her eyes closed and her head on Anna’s pillow. “Because I love you.”

Anna smiled warmly. She scooched lower and drew the covers up over her shoulder, planting a kiss on Elsa’s forehead as she got settled.

“I love you too. And I still will, even when I wake up tomorrow and all the covers are on your side of the bed.”

-------------

Elsa never did come up with a better title for Anna’s rise to royalty. Not that she didn’t have time; to most people three years is quite the span, but for children and young adults it may well have been the blink of an eye. And it certainly felt like no time at all when Kai knocked on their door, parchment in hand and tears in his eyes, to deliver the news that their parents had died at sea.

Anna was eighteen, and Elsa, heir to the throne, only eight.

The funeral was delayed until proper mourning attire could be fashioned for such young women. The headstones were grand but simple. After the rain and the prayers, Anna and Elsa walked back to their room, silent. Anna worked on autopilot: helping Elsa disrobe, comb out her hair, put her in sleepwear. Until she felt the ghost of a memory, not long past, of her hugging the queen and king around the waist, expressing her wish to see them soon. The last time she’d ever touched them.

She heard Elsa sniffle beneath her hand, and caught sight of their reflection in the mirror. Tears dripped out of red-rimmed eyes as Elsa’s hard fought composure (already so heavy for a child) fell apart at Anna’s momentary lapse in normality. Then they were holding each other close, fingers digging into clothing and faces pressed close together.

They slept in the same bed for months.

But during that time an uncomfortable question arose. One that, out of respect for tradition, should have waited, but realistically speaking, couldn’t.

Who was in charge now?

Obviously no one expected an eight-year-old to be officially running a country, especially since her Coronation Day was over a decade away. And while Elsa had already Ascended to ruling status, legally she wasn’t making the rules, and it couldn’t be advisors forever. Especially not after the period of mourning, which at max placed Elsa at twelve. She would be involved in ongoing diplomatic and national matters of course, as she would have been anyway, though now to a larger degree, but the fact of the matter was that Elsa was a child.

She still had a bedtime.

And it couldn’t be Anna… could it? She had the training, the disposition. Even if she’d never desired it personally, could she be persuaded to step up, even if it was, in the end, invisibly? The advisors knew that generally speaking, the people of Arendelle would not turn their backs on Anna being their ruler in Elsa’s place, but politically, they felt the pressure of putting the correct outward face on their country.

Anna walked past two advisors, picking holes in the same arguments she’d heard for weeks, and closed her ears to it all. If they --the crown, the staff, the castle-- needed her help, she’d do it in a heartbeat, but right now, she was more concerned with the remaining family she had left.

Namely, finding her before her upcoming royal duties.

They were starting slow. A few of the old guardsmen had retired, and today was their replacement’s first day on the job. Elsa, as queen, was supposed to formally greet them and thank them for their service. Fairly straightforward, all things considered, but Anna had seemingly lost track of Elsa after breakfast and between a few meetings of her own, and now was looking for her little sister.

Well, she was pretending to look. Anna knew exactly where to find her sister, but she gathered that, with all the fuss over dress and ceremony, Elsa may want just a few extra seconds to be alone, not being touched by people’s hands or her hair pulled by combs or set in tight braids and buns along her head.

But they couldn’t delay forever. Anna tapped a special rhythm on the door to their room, hearing a muted, “Come in!” from the other side.

As she entered, Anna’s breath caught in her throat.

Elsa was dressed like, well…

She looked just like Mama.

“Gerda says if I keep my steps high, I won’t trip on my cape,” Elsa said, spinning to show off the purple floor length cape. “But I can’t walk normally if I do that, I look like a puffed up frog!”

A little tiara nestled in her snow-blonde hair bounced light around the room as Elsa shifted. A fleck caught in Anna’s eye and she blinked harshly, bringing her back to the moment.

“Good thing you only have to walk a few feet,” Anna agreed, closing the door behind her and striding up to her sister. “You’ll be the best dressed frog in the room.”

Elsa folded her arms and scowled, looking very queenly indeed. “I’m surprised you’re the one saying that, considering what you’re wearing today,” and she gestured up and down at her sister.

It was true, Anna was wearing a dress that was almost entirely green from top to bottom, excluding the bodice which was black. The pleats of her skirt were alternating shades of green, the only spots of color otherwise being the rosemaling against the black silk on her chest and abdomen. Anna looked down then back up, and grinned. “I guess you’re right. You’ll have to teach me how to walk then. Does it look something like this?”

She marched dramatically in place, all high knees and right angled elbows, a look of comic determination on her face. To her delight, and relief, Elsa burst into giggles. She held her two gloved hands up in front of her mouth.

That was the Elsa she knew.

“You’re going to embarrass me, Anna,” Elsa laughed.

“Lucky for me, that’s the older sibling’s job.” Anna put her hands on her hips. “Ready to go?”

Elsa’s smile dropped, looking down at her outfit. “I look like I am.”

Anna crouched down to be level with Elsa. “You certainly do,” she said softly. “You look beautiful. But I asked if you were ready.” Elsa didn’t meet her eye, instead fidgeting with her hands and wringing the soft blue leather of her gloves.

“I don’t think I’ll ever be,” Elsa confessed, downcast.

Anna acknowledged that with a little hum. “Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, maybe not for a long time. But I think that’s okay too, it just means you’re still willing to learn. And you know, you’re not alone. You’ve got Kai and Gerda and all the staff, you’ve got the tutors and experts and all the other adults that know what to do. And, you know,” Anna shrugged, “you’ve got me, too. So I’m pretty sure it won’t be a complete disaster.”

Elsa looked up. “Really?”

“Positive,” Anna winked. She pinched her pointer finger and thumb close together. “Just a little one.”

Elsa laughed again and shoved Anna’s hand away. “Okay, okay, I’m ready. Let’s go.”

“After you,” Anna said grandly, opening the door wide for Elsa with a sweeping bow. Elsa shook her head, then squared her shoulders and tilted her chin back, adopting the posture she’d learned over many lessons of how to walk like a queen. Anna sheltered the little spark of pride inside her heart, and the flicker of sadness that came along with it.

They started to make their way down the long hall, Anna a step behind to Elsa’s right, as was expected. As they neared the halfway point, Elsa’s pace slowed, and Anna noticed immediately.

She tapped Elsa on the shoulder and gently took her hand.

Elsa glanced ahead and behind furtively. “I… shouldn’t.”

“I know but, you don’t have to be ‘Queen-queen’ until we turn that corner, so…” Anna ran her thumb across the back of Elsa’s gloved hand, “You can keep holding my hand until then.”

Elsa squeezed back. “And after that? Where will you be?”

Anna beamed.

“Right next to you. And after that? Wherever you need me to be.”

#I've always had some THOUGHTS^TM about Anna being awake during the scene where her memories are changed in F1 #I am nearly 100% certain that if Anna thought losing her memories of Elsa's magic #was the safest option for ELSA then she would agree #but that's a HUGE thing to convince someone #I really believe that if Anna had a choice she'd want to remember - even if maybe the damage took longer to heal #so that's why that part is in there lol #but otherwise this was just me being like 'omg Anna's older and she's gonna be the BEST older sister ever'#cuz she's already sunshine and now she gets to be sunshine for every second of Elsa's life #childhood separation? I don't know her #the sisters allowed to be together to process their greatest joys and deepest griefs? now THAT I can get behind #themountainsays #like-redhead-probably #daughterofhel #bastard!Anna au #A Sister Like You #yes the title is an intentional nod to 'A Sister More Like Me'#because that book is super cute and charming <3 and that was the goal of a few scenes in this one #fairly confident I succeeded: /I/ was certainly smiling and laughing writing it #Little Elsa #Anna #King Agnarr #Queen Iduna #Kai #Gerda #Trolls #F1 canon divergent #my writing #fan fic #story

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lelitachay · 3 years

Text

Frozen fanfiction: Søsken

Summary: An accident in the North mountain forces Elsa to spend several weeks in her brother’s apartment under Anna’s care. And during this time, Anna begins to notice there are peculiar things about Elsa’s life she wished she could understand. Everything starts to make sense after a family reunion.

Modern AU. Kristanna - Frohana - Kristoff & Elsa BrOTP.

Chapters 1 to 10 - Here

Chapters 11 to 20 - Here

Chapter 21 - What to do

Chapter 22 - What’s there to lose?

Chapter 23 - Seek the truth

An abrupt end

Anna looked at the letter in her hand and smiled. Thinking what was best to do with it until she saw her mother, she picked one of the books Elsa had returned earlier that day to save it. She was placing the letter inside, when she heard Marshall's voice coming from the front door and she thought it was the perfect time to thank him.

Even if she had no idea what Marshal had said or done to change Elsa’s mind, she believed it was best to show him her gratitude. She was convinced Elsa would still be avoiding her mother's letters if it hadn't been for the mountaineer.

Once the letter was safely placed inside the book, she hurried to the door to greet and thank the man; but, as she was getting closer, she heard Marshall’s request. I need Anna's phone number. Anna looked at Kristoff who was walking by her side, and he looked as confused as her by the request.

"She's here if you need to-" Elsa tried to say before she was interrupted by the mountaineer.

"Is she?” He stepped inside the house before Elsa could invite him in. His attitude told Anna something was definitely off. It didn’t matter how much Elsa insisted, Marshall always waited for an invitation to set foot inside her house. “Tell her I need to talk to her."

"Marshmallow, are you okay?" asked Elsa, who had sensed something was wrong too.

Marshall ignored Elsa and walked until he was standing in front of Anna. She soon noticed his disarray hair and, more importantly, his frown and tightened fists. He looked nothing like the Marshall she had gotten to know in the past few months, and the sight was truly unsettling. She often referred to him as someone intimidating, but truth was, up until that moment, Anna had never found a reason – beyond his size and serious demeanour – to consider Marshall frightening. Not once had he looked as threatening as he looked right at that moment.

"Anna," Marshall called her attention, bringing her back to reality. "I need Hans' address."

"I’m sorry, what?" She was still very much distracted by his dishevelled appearance to understand coherently what he was saying.

"Hans." His harsh tone showing he not only looked angry, he was in fact raging. "He’s your ex-boyfriend, isn’t he? I need his address."

"His address?" The last thing she wanted was to anger him further but she was still having a hard time understanding what was going on. His demand didn’t make much sense to her. Doesn’t he work for his father? Why not ask him? she wondered.

“Yes,” he said, little by little losing his patience. “Do you know where he lives?”

"What do you need his address for?" Kristoff asked, standing in front of Anna.

"I just need to know where he lives." Marshall answered the question but didn’t pay Kristoff much attention. Any information Anna could provide was more important to him at that moment.

Anna was about to answer when she noticed Elsa's worried expression. Her sister’s gaze was fixed on Marshall, as if she was trying to read what was wrong with him. It was clear she had never seen him so mad before, and that increased Anna's curiosity.

Elsa closed the door and quietly walked to his side. "Won’t you tell us why?"

He shot her an impatient side-glance. "No. I don’t want to talk."

Anna's eyes widened. Never had she imagined Marshall giving Elsa such a cold reply. Something definitely was wrong. The mountaineer could be impatient at times, but Anna had never seen him act that way around Elsa. Not knowing what to do, she shared a quick look with her sister, who was growing more concerned by the minute.

"Calm down, Marshall." warned Kristoff, showing he was not going to tolerate that kind of behaviour. "What the hell happened to you?"

Marshall glared at Kristoff, and for a moment Anna wondered if they had said or done anything to annoy the usual mild-mannered man.

"Marshmallow," Elsa called his attention by gently holding his forearm. "Tell me what’s going on, please."

Anna watched him close his eyes and take a deep breath. For a moment, she thought he was going to ignore Elsa's request, but to her relief, he answered, "I just need to know where I can find Hans and then I'll be on my way."

"I understand that." She caressed his arm with her thumb, trying to appease him. "I just want to know why… Is everything okay?"

Anna's mouth quirked at the intimate gesture. She was surprised to see Elsa so calm and collected given the situation; it was clear Elsa trusted him more than she let on.

The mountaineer averted his eyes and his frown deepened. He stayed silent looking at the floor, trying hard to avoid Elsa's gaze. He didn't say anything until Elsa tilted her head to lock eyes with him again. "I was fired," he muttered finally.

"What?" Anna and Kristoff asked.

"What happened?" Elsa knew there was a problem. Marshall was Petter's more dedicated and responsible employee. The idea of him being fired didn’t make sense, at all.

"My boss thinks I stole money from him." His tightened fists showed how angered he was with the whole ordeal.

"And did you–?" tried to ask Kristoff, but Marshall’s murderous look stopped him.

"Of course I didn’t!" He barked. "Hans told his father I took the money!"

"Why would Hans say something like that?" Anna had seen the disrespectful way in which Hans treated Elsa and Marshall, but part of her still wanted to believe he was not capable of doing something so despicable.

“Because your ex-boyfriend is a piece of shit! That's why!” A cold hand grabbed his, and Marshall stopped to look at Elsa. She then asked for a better explanation and he complied. “Remember the day you and Anna stopped by? Hans paid me for the things I repaired and to keep his party or reunion, or whatever, a secret. Apparently the money he used for the party and the one he gave me was from the resort’s income.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Kristoff knew a thing or two about the youngest Westergaard, he knew he was an unscrupulous person. But stealing and making a man lose his job was more than he had ever imagined Hans capable of.

“I fixed everything in a day, kept his stupid reunion a secret, and this is how he pays me! I want to rip his head off!”

Elsa could feel him shake with rage and tried to offer a solution before he completely lost it. “Can’t you go back and talk with your boss about this? Explain what happened? Anna and I were there. We saw him.”

He shook his head. “Petter kicked me out and wouldn’t give me a chance to explain myself.” He turned to Anna and asked for a third time. “Anna, I need to find Hans so we can talk. Can you give me his address?”

Now that she understood his problem, Anna couldn’t refuse. “He lives in-”

“Don’t,” Kristoff interrupted her. “I don’t think he wants to talk.”

“Let her talk, Bjorgman.”

“Do you really want to talk to Hans?” Kristoff countered. “By the looks of it, you want to beat the crap out of him.”

“He wouldn't do something like that,” said Elsa in disbelief. She turned to Marshall for confirmation but he averted his eyes. “Please, tell me you don't want to find Hans just to beat him up,” she exclaimed, shocked to realise her brother’s suspicions were correct.

It was clear by the way he was avoiding her gaze he wasn’t entirely proud of his idea. “Someone needs to teach him a lesson. I don't mind being that person.”

“Are you insane?! Hans is your boss’s son.”

“Petter's no longer my boss.”

“You won’t get your job back like this!” Elsa let go of his hand before he noticed how cold it was getting. She had remained calm until that point but the idea of Marshall doing something so incredibly stupid irked her.

“I don't want my job back,” Marshall admitted. He knew losing his job was going to be a headache in the near future. But at that moment, he couldn’t care less about working for the Westergaards again. “I want Hans to admit what he did and clean my name.”

“Let’s go talk with your boss if that's what you want. Anna and I saw Hans that day,” she suggested. “I’m sure there are more people out there who saw him too.”

“No,” he grunted.

“Marshmallow!”

“I'm not going to beg Petter,” he said, raising his voice. “He wanted to believe the word of his lazy-ass son, then fine. But I won't let Hans get away with this.”

“Please, think about it for a second,” she tried to reason.

“No, Elsa!”

“For heaven's sake, why are you so stubborn?!” Elsa countered in a loud voice, surprising Anna and Kristoff.

“You're one to talk!”

Something told Anna it wasn’t the first time they argued about their shared stubbornness, and so she thought it was best to stop them before they said things they could regret. Anna agreed a hundred percent with Elsa, but fighting with an angered Marshall didn’t seem smart either. “Guys, calm down. Yelling at each other won’t solve anything.” Anna said, standing between the two. The way Marshall towered over her made her regret her decision for a moment, but if her sister trusted the mountaineer then she would too.

“Elsa’s right. You won’t get anything out of beating Hans to a pulp,” Kristoff said, trying to talk some sense into him.

“I’ll get inner peace,” he murmured.

Anna, who had been standing close enough to hear, smiled and whispered back, “I can’t argue with that.” She then cleared her throat and offered her own opinion, loud enough for everyone to hear, “I agree with Elsa and Kristoff, this is not the right way.”

“Will you tell me where he lives?” Marshall asked Anna once again, not caring about her or anyone’s opinion.

“No,” answered Kristoff. “No, she won't.”

“Let her answer herself, Bjorgman.” He glared at him once again.

“I won't let Anna become your accomplice.” Kristoff looked at Anna, letting her know he was not kidding. “Do you want to kill a man? Do it on your own.”

“Fine,” said Marshall, turning around and walking towards the door. “I’ll find his address some other way.”

“Marshall, stop,” begged Elsa, stopping him from leaving the house by blocking his path.

“Let me out, Elsa.”

“I won't let you go and do something like this.”

“Elsa,” he said, exasperated. “I won’t kill the man. Can you please move?”

She held his hand once again, hoping he would listen. She only wished he didn’t notice how freezing her own hands were. “Can I talk to you? Alone.”

Anna watched Elsa try to convince Marshall and, by the way Elsa's eyes found hers, she realised the request was not only for him, but also for Kristoff and herself. Thinking it was best to let Elsa try to talk him out of it, she called her boyfriend's attention. “Kristoff, can you help me for a moment?”

"What?"

"Just come with me." She grabbed his hand and began pulling him into the kitchen.

When Anna heard the front door open, she turned around and noticed Elsa giving her a small smile before pushing Marshmallow outside. By the mountaineer's tired sigh, Anna noticed he was not in the right mood for a conversation, but Anna was relieved to see he had at least agreed to it.

"What are we doing here?” asked Kristoff as soon as they stepped inside the kitchen. “That guy is out of his mind right now." Kristoff seemed ready to follow his sister outside but Anna stopped him before he could.

"If there's anyone who can calm the big guy down, that's Elsa.” She was sure her sister could placate Marshall. It was only a matter of time until he began to listen. Or so she wanted to believe. “However, in case she can't change his mind…” said Anna as she began putting her things inside her bag. “I'll go to town with him."

“Excuse me?”

“I'm going with him,” she declared. “He may leave any second so I need you to help me gather all my things.”

"You’re not going with him." Kristoff stopped her by putting his hand on top of her books. "He’s planning to travel all the way to Trolheim just to give someone a beating. He'll probably end up in jail tonight, Anna."

"That’s exactly why I’m going with him. He’ll find his house one way or another. If I go with him, I'll have forty extra minutes to talk him out of it." She hoped Elsa could do her charm and change his mind before it came to it, though.

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Kristoff tried to remain calm to convince Anna to give her idea a second thought. “You just said Elsa is the one who knows how to calm him down. What makes you think you'll be able to do it if she can't?”

Anna knew he had a good point. If Marshall didn’t listen to Elsa there was only a small chance, he’d listen to her; still, she needed to try. She felt pity for Marshall and the way Hans’ family had treated him. “Hans and his family can easily send Marshall to jail for less than a beating — no matter how well-deserved the beating is.” She murmured as an afterthought. “There’s no-way they’ll listen or try to understand Marshmallow’s situation. Well, maybe Jonas would, but we can't rely on Jonas alone. It's best to stop Marshall.”

“Who is this Jonas again? Wait, no. That doesn’t matter, what matters is you travelling with this madman.”

"Madman?" Her eyes opened in disbelief. "He was wrongfully fired and accused of a crime he didn't commit. You'd be livid too."

"I guess… But the way he’s acting does nothing but make me uncomfortable."

"You know he's a good man, Kristoff."

"I also know he's a temperamental loner."

"So what? Should I stop helping people just because they are somewhat different? Or simply because they make you uncomfortable?” Not giving him enough time to answer her questions, she continued, “What would have happened to Elsa if your parents didn’t give her a chance just because she made them uncomfortable?”

Anna noticed his expression change from surprise into a frown, and for a moment she felt truly guilty for using such a cheap trick against him. She waited for an outburst or an answer of some kind, but it never came; so, she continued putting her things away — making sure she took the book and the letter with her too.

Opting to avoid a confrontation, Kristoff let Anna off the hook. He massaged his temples and released a tired sigh. All he had wanted was to spend a quiet night with his sister, and somehow Marshall and Westergaard had managed to ruin it. “I want a peaceful day off for once. Am I asking too much?” he said to no one in particular.

Ignoring her boyfriend, Anna hung her bag on her shoulder and turned towards him once again. “Let’s see if Elsa convinced him, maybe all this conversation was for naught.” She walked out the room, happy to see Kristoff following close behind. She knew he couldn’t deny his curiosity to see if their sister had been successful.

Anna wasn’t sure if Elsa had had enough time to change the mountaineer's mind, but truth was she still needed to get home before her father’s associates arrived and the sooner they could solve Marshall's problem, the better. She stepped outside just in time to hear one of Elsa’s frustrated demands…

"If you would at least listen to me for a second-"

"No,” Marshall interrupted. “I said I’m leaving.”

To Anna’s disappointment, instead of finding a solution, they were no longer listening to each other. No wonder they had quarrelled about their stubbornness before.

Anna was about to suggest going with him, when Elsa tried to stop him one last time. “Marshall…”

“Listen,” he said, turning around to face Elsa. “I didn't come here for you to change my mind! Just stop it!”

The man was furious, that much was obvious. Yet Anna felt it was unfair to let the anger get the best of him, especially when her sister was on the receiving end.

“Fine,” Elsa answered in a low tone of voice. “Have fun acting like the brute everyone thinks you are.”

Anna and Kristoff watched from the top of the stairs Marshall curse under his breath and begin to walk away.

Anna wondered if there was a point in trying to help Marshall herself. He had certainly made up his mind about finding Hans and giving him the beating he deserved, so there wasn't much she could do… Yet, somehow, she couldn't stop feeling bad for the man. She had clearly seen regret and pain written on his face after Elsa's retort. And maybe, just maybe, she could use that to her advantage. She wasn't sure she could change his mind, but at least now she had an idea of what to say to sow doubt in his mind. She only needed to try.

"You still want to go with him, don't you?" asked Kristoff, distracting her from her thoughts. He had noticed the way Anna kept biting her lower lip. Something he only saw her do whenever she was pondering over one of her crazy ideas.

"I know you think I'm crazy. But I need to try something…"

"Anna…" Kristoff tried to stop her, but Anna climbed down the stairs two at a time, and began running in Marshall's direction.

"Anna, stop!"

"I'll call you once I get home," she yelled back, trying to reassure him.

Elsa was still focused on her powers, trying hard to tame them before they could manifest on their own, when she saw Anna run past her and she heard her brother yelling by her side. She had been so absorbed in her argument with Marshmallow she had failed to notice Anna and Kristoff had joined them.

"Where is she going?"

"To try who knows what," he answered. "I've got to go after her. I know you trust Marshall, but he's not thinking straight right now."

Elsa let a long sigh escape her lips. "Would you mind telling me what's wrong with them?"

"I stopped trying to understand people a long time ago,” he admitted. “I'll get my keys and go after them. Are you coming with me?"

"I guess I don't have a choice." She wanted to be there for her friend, even though it was hard to stay level-headed when her powers were uncomfortably dancing under her finger tips. "So much for a peaceful evening."

---

The moment Anna came up with her plan, she had been thinking in a way to help Marshall change his mind. For that reason, she had impulsively run after him. But now that she was in the old rattletrap SUV with the quiet man, she realised she had no idea how to start a conversation with him, making her whole idea almost impossible to achieve. By nature, Marshall was a person of few words and to Anna’s dismay — she was only now realising — it was even worse when he was mad.

Anna discreetly looked from the passenger seat in his direction and tried to read his body language. Tightened fists held the steering wheel, as he kept his eyes on the road. And sadly, he was still frowning — even deeper than before. Something told Anna he was doing his best to remain civil, knowing well she was not to blame for his problems; but no matter how hard he tried to hide it, his awful mood made him look like a beast ready to attack whatever crossed his path. And what was worse, said mood was acting like a giant brick wall between them. Impeding Anna from getting close to him and talking things through.

It was only when they were a few kilometres away from the outskirts of the city that Marshall surprised her by starting conversation.

"Where does Hans live?" He was being gentler than when he demanded the information in Elsa's house, so Anna felt confident enough to try and deflect the question.

"You know, I want Hans to learn a lesson too, but I-"

"Are you suggesting I beat the crap out of him in your name too?" he interrupted, not giving Anna enough time to finish her idea.

The seriousness of his answer made Anna worry for a moment, but she tried her best not to get distracted. "Not exactly. I'm not-"

"Should I throw him out a window?"

A shudder ran through her body and she made a mental note to never be on the receiving end of Marshall's wrath. "I'm not sure I agree with your teaching methods. And it is not nice to throw people…"

Marshall waited for her to suggest something since his ideas didn’t seem to be of her interest.

Thinking it was best to stop beating around the bush, Anna confessed, "I'm not here to give you any ideas on how to make Hans pay."

"What are you doing here, then?" asked Marshall after letting out a tired sigh.

Testing the waters and his humour, Anna playfully said, "I needed a ride."

"Are you fucking kidding me?!" He gripped the steering wheel harder and looked at her. "You said you were going to help me!"

That was clearly a bad idea, Anna thought to herself. But still tried to act tough around him. "You kiss your mother with that mouth?"

He glared at her and growled before returning his eyes to the road.

Under any other situation, Anna would have laughed at his annoyance, but she didn't want to test how long his patience could last. "I am going to help you. I intend to stop you from doing something you’ll regret. I know Hans, you'll end up in prison if you do any of the things you suggested. Hans’ family has contacts"

"I won’t end up in prison."

"In his father's eyes you're a thief. You don't want Petter to think you're a violent man too," she warned. "He'll make sure you do if he needs to."

"I am not a thief," he clarified with anger. "And I am not violent."

"I never said you were. Though, you were suggesting throwing Hans out a window just now." She cleared her throat when she noticed he wasn’t particularly enjoying her comments. "I'm trying to help you see the whole picture here."

Taking a deep breath, Marshall tried to get rid of his anger for a moment. "I appreciate your concern, but you don't need to worry. All I want is Hans to know I won't let him get away with the things he does anymore… I'm not going to murder him," he clarified, with a small laugh.

Anna felt relieved to notice he had let his wall down, at least for just a moment." Marshall, you are too mad to think straight. Things can go out of hand before you realise, and you'll regret it. Why don't you drop me off as soon as we get to the city centre and you return home?"

"I won't return home." He scowled again.

"Beating Hans up won't clean up your name."

"That prick can't live his life doing whatever he pleases. He needs to learn a lesson!"

"Do you really think he'll learn anything from this?" She hated being the one to show Marshall the unfairness of it all, but she needed him to understand he didn't have a chance against him. "He'll play the victim part like he always does. In his father's eyes you would have broken his nose because he exposed you, not because he framed you. You won't get anything from this."

"The arse takes advantage of my good predisposition, steals and lies to his father, and gets me fired," he listed patiently. "Please give one good reason why I shouldn't fight for what I think is right!"

"Fighting, literally speaking, won't solve anything. You'll be responsible for everything that happens."

"Because I'm the brute mountaineer, is that it?"

The bitterness in the way he said brute didn't escape Anna, making her feel truly bad for the man but excited at the same time. Without realising it, he had tackled the topic she had been waiting for. "Well… yes."

"Is that the way everyone sees me?" the sadness in his voice almost made Anna regret her plan. But she had come this far, she had finally been able to get real, long and well-constructed sentences out of him. She couldn't let the opportunity slip. Especially when it meant he could avoid a bigger problem.

"No. Not truly," she declared. "There's one person who has never seen you that way before." Even she had to admit she had had certain reservations towards him at first. "Elsa has always thought the world of you. And earning Elsa's trust is- Well… It's one of the hardest things there is.” The corner of her mouth raised, thinking back to those first days she had spent with Elsa, long before they found out they were sisters. It had been a challenge to get her to open up. “I don't know how much you know about her childhood, but trust me when I say she's been to hell and back." The way his eyebrows raised let Anna know he didn't. "It’s for that reason she analyses everyone she meets in a careful, almost methodical way. She rarely let people in. Yet, you managed to earn her trust. She must have seen the kind and caring person you are.” Thinking it was best to be honest with him, she confessed, “Something the rest of us couldn't do.”

"I guess that means you think I'm a rough man…"

"No, I don't," she assured him. "Elsa wouldn't let me believe it — not even for a second. I've got to admit you are intimidating when you're angry, but I know the kind of person you are, thanks to Elsa."

He knitted his brows and kept his eyes on the road, trying to process everything Anna was telling him, but offering no real response.

After a few moments in silence, Anna pushed him a little bit. “Let me ask you, is it worth it?”

“What?” he asked, not looking at her.

“To throw away her trust just to beat Hans up.”

“Elsa knows she can trust me,” he said sure of himself. “This doesn't change anything.”

“No offense, but look at you,” said Anna tentatively, knowing he wasn’t going to like what she had to say. “You've barged into Elsa's house, demanded I give you Hans' address and yelled at Elsa for trying to change your mind and help you – something incredibly stupid if you ask me.”

He looked at her for a fraction of a second before returning his attention to the road. Anna swore she had seen guilt in his eyes. Proving she had been right. Elsa was Marshall's weakness, in a way, and part of her was certain he was going to stop himself just to avoid upsetting Elsa. She only wished it was enough for him to do an u-turn and return home.

"What am I supposed to do, then?" He looked at her. His seriousness showed he actually wanted an answer this time. “Should I let people like Hans walk all over me? Should I accept being treated like garbage?"

“If you had listened to us, you'd have realised we weren’t suggesting you forget about this. We’re merely asking you not to act without a second thought.”

He opened his mouth to contradict Anna but she stopped him. “You were accused and fired unjustly. We know that. But hitting Hans will take away your credibility. Every argument you can come up with will banish.”

Sighing in defeat, he admitted, “I guess you're right.”

“Yes!” She couldn’t stop herself from cheering out loud. “Does that mean you'll go back home?” To her disappointment, her happiness was short-lived.

“No. I still need you to tell me where he lives.”

“Wait, what?” Anna had been so close, but she guessed her sister was right, he really was stubborn. “Didn't you just said-”

“I changed my mind about beating him up…” He reassured her. “But I need to talk to him, Anna. I've been able to withstand Hans' abuse before - more times than I should have. This time he went too far. I can’t let it go. So, please, tell me, where does he live?"

Maybe she needed to trust his word and expect the best outcome. She had been able to make him understand her point of view at least. Now the responsibility of what he did was his alone. “786 Southern St."

---

Kristoff cursed under his breath when a car blocked his view of Marshall’s SUV. He had been following him close behind since they left the mountain, and the last thing he needed was losing him when they were so close to the city. He had no idea where Hans lived, and something told him Anna was not going to be able to change Marshall’s mind.

He looked at the passenger's seat wondering if his sister was still awake. Even if he couldn’t picture his sister sleeping in that situation, she had been so quiet during their journey he thought it was best to check on her.

“Penny for your thoughts?”

She had been looking out the window, not really paying attention to her brother until he spoke. She looked at him and at that moment realised maybe he could help her make up her mind. An idea had been roaming in her head for weeks, and finding out about Marshall being fired only fuelled that idea. “Is it nuts to ask Marshall to work with me?”

“The two of you working together?” If he was honest, Kristoff wasn’t sure what he had been expecting when he asked Elsa what was on her mind, but for sure that was not it. “Where did this come from?”

“Marshmallow lost his job,” she answered, matter-of-factly. “He's angry right now, but soon he will be down in the dumps. He loves what he does. He put up with Westergaard just because he enjoyed his work and the mountain too much to leave.”

“I guess that makes sense... ”

“We've always understood each other well,” Elsa continued explaining her idea. “He's a good instructor – better than most. And an excellent climber too. I think maybe we could complement each other well.”

He could understand her reasoning, still, he was surprised to see Elsa willingly choosing to spend more time than necessary with someone who wasn’t part of her family - with someone who didn’t know about her powers, to be precise. “I get what you’re saying. Yet, I think you shouldn't make rush decisions just to help him, Elsa.”

“It's not rushed,” she declared, surprising her brother once again. “I've been thinking about it for a while now. The accident made me realise I can't do my job alone anymore.”

“I thought you wanted to get a different job this coming season. In one of the resorts.” As far as he knew, it was the sole reason she had started studying once again.

The corner of Elsa’s mouth turned up as she remembered the conversation with Anna a few weeks back. “Anna may have had something to do with me changing my mind about it… She says I need to be more optimistic and give my business a second chance.”

Kristoff offered a small smile in return. He was still amazed by the way Anna kept encouraging Elsa to grow and work on what she loved.

“Do you think continuing to work independently is a good idea?” she asked, still unsure.

“I guess it sounds good.”

“What about Marshmallow and I working together?”

He wanted to encourage his sister the way Anna did. He truly did. But he couldn’t ignore what Anna was failing to see every time she put ideas into Elsa’s head. Her powers. “My only concern is… Are you sure you can do it?”

“What do you mean?”

“The two of you will need to be together for hours on end. What will you do about your powers?”

“Keep concealing them, I guess.” She shrugged, not giving it much thought. “There isn't much I can do.”

“You once told me you couldn't stand the city because suppressing your powers was physically exhausting, didn’t you?” He watched her nod her head once. It was clear she didn’t feel comfortable talking about it. “Are you sure it won't be hard to conceal them? What about the snow? You don't own a snow gun yet, he'll be suspicious.”

“I'm still not sure what to do about that…” Elsa admitted in defeat. Kristoff was certain she had gone over her options several times before talking about it, and by her disappointment it was obvious she hadn't found a solution to that particular problem.

"Just think about it for a little while longer, okay?" he suggested. "Take your time. Try to think what's best for you."

"Maybe you're right…"

Kristoff watched her look out the window once again, and he smiled. By her serious expression she was clearly trying to come up with reasonable excuses for the things she did with her powers on the slope on a daily basis. After all, they were the only reason she had been able to prepare such an amazing place on her own. Without them, things could get harder. But maybe, Marshmallow's help would be enough for them to start a proper ski school together.

But for that to happen, they needed to make sure Marshall didn't kill Hans, or else Elsa would need to find a new colleague to work with.

---

Okay, this took forever to write.

Sorry for the delay you guys, but this chapter not only took way longer than I imagined, it also came out way too long in the first draft. So long I ended up splitting it into two. This is the first part. Luckily for you, that means I’ll be updating chapter 25 sooner than you imagine! Right now you may be wondering why I included Marshall’s problem in the story, but do not worry, this part has a purpose. You’ll understand the bigger part in the next chapter and then the rest by the end of the story! As always, comments and reviews are always welcomed! Tag time:

@swimmingnewsie @melody-fox @kristoffxannafanatic @kristannafictionals @neptrabbit @skneez @ellacarter13 @wondering-in-life @who-i-am-8 @fanfictionrecommendations-com @815-allisnotlost @khartxo @joannevixxon @betweenthedreams @burbobah @rileysfs @earlvessalius @blood-jewel @disneydreamer8901 @the-sky-is-awake @disneyfan103 @the-magic-one-is-you @anamaria8garcia @welovefrozenfanfiction @bigfrozenfan-archive @bigfrozenfan @frozen-snips @deisymendoza @zackhaikal123 @cornstarch @roostercrowedatmidnight @showurselfelsa @fuzzyelsalikeiduna @when-dawn-arrives @drafteedragon @snowycrocus @tare8chan @localarendellian@wabitham @roostercrowedatmidnight @just-your-local-history-nerd@dontrunintofirexoxo @daphmckinnon @poketin @bruni-is-love @luna-and-mars @anotherpersondrawing @lovelucywilde @shimmeringsunsets @aries1708 @wabitham @agentphilindaisy @anotherpersondrawing @spkfrozen @thegeekogecko

#søsken #sosken #frozen #frozen fanfcition #frozen fanfic #Elsa #Anna #Kristoff #Frozen AU #Frozen modern AU #Kristanna #Kristoff & Elsa BroTP #frohana #chapter 24

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elsanna-shenanigans · 3 years

Text

April Contest Submission #20: Waves and Wonders

Words: ca. 2,500 Setting: mAU Lemon: no CW: mentions of drinking, minor injury

After two years of moving thousands of miles away from home, Elsa learned only one thing about herself: that she would never be able to avoid the love she has for her sister. She couldn’t get rid of the sinful feelings, no matter how far the distance she tries to put in between them. The yearning Elsa has for her sister, Anna, grows stronger with each passing day, and it terrifies her beyond measure. Nevertheless, she is determined to not let her fear ruin what she’s got planned for her sister’s birthday. She asked Anna what she would like for her twenty-first birthday, and Anna’s response was to spend time with her, so Elsa has been busy planning this mini-vacation for the two of them.

Elsa checks her phone for the hundredth time to see if there’s a new message from Anna. She offered to meet Anna at the airport, but her sister had insisted that she’s an adult now and can get to the hotel all by herself.

After staring at her phone intently for a few seconds or minutes, she doesn’t know anymore, a text from Anna finally arrives: Be there in 5!

The text makes her feel both nervous and excited. It’s silly but knowing that she will see her sister again after two years makes her ridiculously happy, and she smiles to herself. She slips her phone into her back pocket and heads down to the lobby to wait for Anna.

The first thing Elsa notices as she steps out of the elevator is how busy it is at the hotel today. She had suggested a less touristy spot like a cabin in the wood where they could enjoy playing board games and catching up on their favorite shows, but Anna emphasized that she wants to spend her vacation near a beach with lots of sunshine and ice cream, so they settled for San Diego, which was only a 2-hour drive for Elsa, and a 6-hour plane ride for Anna.

Elsa makes her way across the lobby, and just as she got to the front desk area, she felt a light tap on her shoulder. Startled, she turned around. And there she is, her little sister is beaming at her, that cheerful, infectious grin Anna seems to reserve only for her.

“Boo!” said Anna, still grinning.

“You know, giving your sister a heart attack at the start of a vacation isn’t the smartest idea,” Elsa said teasingly.

“Oh, come here you.”

Anna pulls her in for a hug she didn’t know she’d miss so much. Elsa hugs her back tightly.

“I miss you so much, sis,” said Anna.

“I miss you too, Anna,” Elsa whispers.

They continue their embrace for another minute or so before Elsa pulls back and reaches for Anna’s luggage.

“Wanna check out the room before we head out for some tacos and soft-serve ice cream?”

Anna gives her the biggest smile. “Yes!”

The taco shack that Elsa had found through Yelp only took the girls a ten minutes walk to get there. They settled for the table tucked at the very corner of the restaurant so they could be further away from the noises and have some quality time to catch up and enjoy their lunch.

“So, how’s work, Elsa?” Anna asks before taking a bite of the fish taco.

“It’s fine,” Elsa responds with a shrug.

Anna gave her a skeptical look. “Huh… that’s an interesting response. I was definitely expecting something more positive than it’s fine.”

“What do you mean?” she asks quietly, dreading where this conversation is heading.

Anna didn’t give her a response right away. Instead, she took a sip of soda and another bite before she mumbles through a mouthful, “Well, you did leave us for this job two years ago; it was so out of the blue, I thought that this is your dream job or something.”

“Anna, I—” Her response was interrupted by a young brunette with an apologetic look on her face.

“Sorry to interrupt your conversation,” said the brunette. “Would it be okay if my friend and I share this table with the two of you? All the other tables are taken, and we see there are two spots left here.”

Elsa looks at Anna, who gave her a shrug, and back at the brunette. “Yes, of course.”

“Thank you so much,” the woman takes a seat next to Elsa, and her friend takes the last seat next to Anna. “I’m Rapunzel, and this is Meg,” said the brunette.

The sisters gave the women a polite smile before they continued with their food in silence.

After a couple minutes of awkward silence, Elsa reminds herself that this isn’t the time for any weirdness and that the goal of this vacation is to enjoy their time together. “So, what do you want to do next?”

“Hm… I’ve always wanted to try beach volleyball,” Anna tells her.

“We need four people for beach volleyball… what about—”

“Rapunzel and I are looking for another pair for beach volleyball if the two of you would like to join,” Meg cuts in.

Elsa closes her eyes and exhales slowly; she could feel her irritation slowly forming, questioning why these strangers kept interrupting them. Still, she pushes her annoyance aside for the time being. “What do you think, Anna?” she asks instead. “We’ve got enough people now.”

When her sister gave her a smile and nodded excitedly, she almost forgot why she was annoyed in the first place.

The four of them make their way to the beach after lunch and split up into two teams. Elsa doesn’t like the idea that Meg gets to decide the teams, and she especially does not like that Meg had paired herself with Anna.

Rapunzel, to Elsa’s surprise, possesses exceptional quickness and agility in her movements. For each time she missed the ball, Rapunzel would spring up from behind her, returning the ball to the other team with force.

“Ready, Elsa?” ask Rapunzel as she picks up the volleyball as it’s their turn to serve.

Elsa gives her partner a nod, feeling guilty that her focus is not on the game at all. Instead, her focus is set on the other side of the net. She couldn’t stop the irritation that spread through her when she saw Meg giving Anna a high five and saying things that made Anna smile. She wishes she could be on the other side and be the one to put a smile on her sister’s face.

Gosh, she really needs to shake off these unhealthy thoughts and set her focus back into the game, she thought to herself.

“Elsa, look out!” she heard Anna yell out before she was knocked to the ground by the damn volleyball.

She must have blacked out for some moments because when she could finally feel her surroundings again and open her eyes, Anna is already beside her.

“Oh, thank goodness you’re okay,” said Anna before she turns to Meg, “It’s not nice to aim the ball at people!”

Meg takes a step back and puts her hands above her head, “Wow, I promise that was not intentional,” said Meg. “I’m sorry, Elsa, are you okay?”

Elsa nods as she slowly gets up from the ground. She catches the concerned look in Anna’s eyes. “I’m okay. Really,” she says with a smile. “It wasn’t Meg’s fault. I really shouldn’t have spaced out so much during such an intense game.”

“And the award for Spaced out Queen goes to… Miss Elsa.” Rapunzel teases.

The sisters bid their farewell after thanking Rapunzel and Meg for spending the afternoon with them and headed back to the hotel.

They spend the rest of their afternoon catching each other up on the events that happened since Elsa left. Anna did most of the talking, of course, but Elsa doesn’t mind it at all. Her stories were more interesting than Elsa’s anyway.

Later that evening, Anna suggests that they head down to the bar for some drinks so she could make good use of her ID now that she’s twenty-one.

When the bartender approaches them for their drink orders and asks to see their ID, Anna was happy to comply.

Elsa chuckles at her sister’s silliness. Oh, how much she’s missed this, Elsa thought to herself. She couldn’t help but wonder how different things would be if they are not sisters. Or better yet, if she could crush this feeling of guilt into a million pieces every time it makes its way through Elsa’s head when she thinks about Anna.

She must have spaced out for some time because she notices two familiar faces at their table when she snaps out of it. God damnit! These people are like cockroaches, Elsa thought to herself.

“You really are the Queen of Spacing Out,” Rapunzel comments as she takes a sip of her drink.

“Oh, hi,” Elsa mumbles.

“So, Anna, you were saying something about computer viruses?” asks Meg.

“Oh yes, did you know that you’re more likely to get a computer virus from visiting religious sites than porn sites?” Anna said proudly. “I learned it from my computer science class.”

“I call bullshit; that can’t be true,” Meg chuckles.

Elsa watches the interaction between the two, finding it harder to ignore the distress she feels with every passing moment.

“So Anna, do you have any plans for tomorrow night?” Meg asks.

This is too much for her. Elsa could sense her anxiety bubbling up, and she must get away before she breaks down in public, worst of all, in front of her sister.

“I got to go,” she announced before rushing out of the bar.

She heard Anna calling after her, but she didn’t stop. She can’t stop. But she wasn’t fast enough, because Anna caught up to her.

Stepping in front of her, Anna reached for her hands and held on to them tightly.

“Elsa, what’s wrong?”

Feeling a lump forming in her throat, not trusting her own voice, she shakes her head instead.

“You’re shaking,” Anna noted, “Was it something I said? Are you okay?”

“No,” she whispers, looking down at the ground to avoid making eye contact with her sister.

Without another word, Anna pulls her away from the lobby area, out the nearest door, and towards the beach, which was just across the street from the hotel.

She notices the beach has gotten less populated with the dawn of the early evening as Anna continues to lead them towards the east side of the beach. Anna stops once they’re far away enough from the tourists. She lets go of her hand then as they turn to face the beach. They remain silent for some time.

After watching the steady rhythm of the ocean waves hitting the sand repeatedly for what seems like forever, Elsa feels herself calm down a bit.

Few more moments pass by before Anna grabs her shoulder, turning her around so they could face each other, forcing her to make eye contact she’s been avoiding.

“What is it, Elsa? Why are you shutting me out again?” Anna asks quietly.

“I… I’m not,” she began, finding it difficult to speak. “I’m a messed up person,” she whispers.

Anna remains quiet, so she continues.

“I’m so sorry, Anna,”

“Why are you sorry?”

She takes a deep breath and continues, “You’re my sister, I can’t—” her voice broke. “I thought by putting some distance between us would make it disappear, and I really believed that it had worked. But when you gave me that hug in the lobby this morning, when I saw Meg getting close to you and her asking you out…” she let out a shaky sigh. “I can’t have feelings toward my own sister. It is wrong, but I can’t help it, no matter how I try to conceal these wicked feelings. I just can’t…” She looks down at the sand, getting overwhelmed by her feelings.

“But I can,” Anna said softly. “And maybe… maybe that’s enough for now.”

Elsa met her sister’s eyes, giving her a confused look.

“Let me start over,” Anna suggests. “I’m going to ask you some simple yes or no questions. You don’t even have to speak— just nod or shake your head, okay?”

Elsa nods slightly.

“Is this about what happened at your birthday party two years ago?”

She nods.

“You didn’t move across the country because you found your dream job, but because you want to run away from your feelings, right?”

She nods again.

“Feelings you know are wrong to have for your own sister, but you couldn’t stop it from developing?”

She let out a shaky breath and nod again.

“So… if I deduced this correctly, you’re… in love with me,” Anna asks quietly.

“God, yes, I—” she whispers, feeling a lump forming in her throat again.

“I told you, Anna. I’m a messed up person. I should be the older sister who would be there for you through all life events, but I can’t, because I realized that I… I want to be more than just your sister. Which is why I had to run. I had to keep my distance.”

“You were acting all weird around Meg because you were jealous of her?” Anna continues with her questioning.

Elsa nodded. “I was,” she said. “I couldn’t help but envy her because I want to be able to openly flirt with you, to be able to ask you out on a date. And be able to take you to that fancy restaurant down the street that serves really delicious maple bars that are even better than the chocolate bars you love so much. And after that, we would take a walk around the park, and you could continue to talk about all things you encountered that day while I would enjoy listening to you.”

“And then?” Anna whispers as she takes a step closer.

“And then… I would…” she paused for a few seconds. “wait for the right moment to lean in and kiss you,” Elsa said shyly. She can feel the heat spread from her cheeks.

Anna takes another step towards her. “And I would say yes,” Anna grins. “To everything on your list.”

“But what about—”

Anna cuts her off quickly before she starts going on the spiral path of incest guilt again. “Let’s just take a little break from being sisters for the rest of this vacation, a break from what’s right and what’s wrong; we could deal with the rest later on,” she smiles softly. “But for now, maybe… we could go through the items on your list because they sound pretty good to me.”

Elsa stares at her sister in disbelief. She couldn’t believe what was happening, but if this was her only chance to be with Anna, then she’ll take it.

“I like this idea very much,” said Elsa, feeling a sense of happiness radiating through her veins. Maybe this feeling isn’t so terrifying after all, she thought to herself before reaching out for her sister’s hand.

#elsanna #submission #April 2021 contest #prompt: break

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violetwolfraven · 4 years

Text

Into the Unknown

Warning: Not sure if this is really in-character, and I don’t really know how accepting society back then was in this particular place, so not sure how accurate it is, but basically, Elsa has some internalized homophobia/puts pressure on herself and slight angst/fluff insues.

...

As queen, even if no one said it, there was always pressure on Elsa to marry and have a child, preferably a son, even if Arendelle hadn’t really been doing things traditionally since her father married a commoner.

But there was always those little remarks from nobles who thought they were just teasing. (“So, no possible King in the picture yet?”)There were little jabs from servants who had a little too much to drink at a party (“I’m sure your heir will be quite the handful, Your Majesty.”), or even teasing comments from Anna or Kristoff when she rolled her eyes at them having a moment in front of her (“You’ll understand when you get a boyfriend.”)

That pressure had been there since Elsa could remember. Even her parents joked about Elsa not being so disgusted by Anna’s romantic inserts in their games when she met an nice boy someday.

The pressure had been there so long that Elsa put it on herself, even as she got older and knew most women her age were either with some man or at least gotten a crush on a boy at some point.

Now that she was simply the Ice Spirit, Elsa didn’t have to worry about marrying anyone, but she did. Years of expecting to suddenly fall in love with some boy didn’t go away overnight.

It wasn’t that she didn’t notice men. She knew that Kristoff was kind and Ryder was funny, but she didn’t care about them that way. They were like brothers to her. Friends, nothing more.

The only person she really noticed more than them, or any man for that matter, was...

No. That was not happening. That wasn’t how things worked. It didn’t matter how Elsa felt. How she was drawn to this person like she’d never been to anyone before. It was just friendship. She was just confused.

I can hear you, but I won’t.

Elsa could feel that pull, like she was magnetically drawn to this person, but she didn’t want to. She knew that love could too easily lead to hurt. Not that this was love, of course. Still, it was like there was a bond between them. Like a piece of Elsa had been missing, even if she didn’t know it, and now it was right here in front of her.

Some look for trouble while others don’t.

This was definitely more trouble than it was worth. If Elsa listened to her feelings—if she admitted anything, even to herself—no good would come of it. She would get hurt and the person she was somehow drawn to would feel guilty, even if it wasn’t her fault.

There’s a thousand reasons, I should go about my day.

Making things awkward would help nothing. It would destroy her friendship with this woman, which already mattered to Elsa more than it should. And that was only one reason not to admit anything.

And ignore your whispers, which I wish would go away.

But... Elsa couldn’t ignore the feeling. As much as she wanted to, the...call—drawing her to Honeymaren, was always. right. there.

You’re not a voice. You’re just a ringing in my ear.

No. Elsa couldn’t think about this. Even if she was in love, and even if it was unreciprocated, and even if she knew it would never happen, she couldn’t afford to think about it. It would only hurt her worse than it already did.

And if I heard you—which I don’t—I’m spoken for, I fear.

Elsa already had enough to deal with. She didn’t need to be more distracted than she already was. Being the Ice Spirit—being the only Spirit who could speak to humans directly, which meant she had to speak for them all—was a full time job. She had no time for love.

Everyone I’ve ever loved is here within these walls.

Unfortunately, even if Elsa refused to give in to her feelings, Anna always noticed when something was going on with her. She always confronted her about it. Fortunately, this time, finding enough tact to get an excuse for Sven and Olaf not to be in the room.

“Elsa, what’s up with you?” the Queen asked finally, “You’ve been distracted for weeks.”

“Nothing. It’s nothing, Anna. I’m just tired.”

“Hmph. Well, I was hoping you’d come to me on your own, but seeing as how you haven’t, you’ve forced my hand. You’re not leaving this castle until you tell me what’s going on.”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Kristoff called over from where he was looking at possible wedding invitation designs.

“What?” Anna asked, clearly confused.

“I grew up with trolls, remember?” the blond said simply, “All the signs are there—she hasn’t been eating when we get together, hasn’t been sleeping much, judging by those dark circles under her eyes, is super distracted, like, all the time, got red-faced when you mentioned it...”

“Oh,” Anna said before turning back to her sister, “Are you dying?! And you didn’t tell me?!”

“What?” Elsa exclaimed, “No!”

Kristoff rolled his eyes, “Oh my gods, Anna. She’s in love, babe!”

“Ohhhh!” Anna realized, “Oh, it’s so obvious! Who is it? Who is it? Who is it???”

“No one,” Elsa insisted.

“Is it Ryder?” Anna pressed, “He’s nice. He’s got this weird thing about reindeer, but I mean, so does my guy, so it’s not like I can—“

“Ew, no,” Elsa said, actually making a face.

Something in Anna’s face changed, and she put her hand on Elsa’s knee reassuringly.

“Is it Honeymaren?”

Elsa stood up suddenly, feeling the temperature in the room drop due to her anxiety.

She couldn’t deny it. She couldn’t tell Anna either way. Somehow, she couldn’t find the words to do anything but walk away, feeling fortunate that Anna didn’t follow her.

I’m sorry, secret siren, but I’m blocking out your calls.

Returning to the Enchanted Forest, Elsa couldn’t face anyone yet. So she just sat against one of the shrines of the different elemental Spirits and stared at the stars.

For the first time, she really let herself think about her feelings. Her confusing love for this fearless, strong, beautiful woman.

I’ve had my adventure, I don’t need something new.

Elsa knew she could never make a move. But that thought became harder to hold onto as Honeymaren herself came and sat down next to her, not speaking. They both just stared at the stars as Elsa tried to calm her racing heart.

I’m afraid of what I’m risking if I follow you.

“Yelana says that the stars form patterns,” Honeymaren said after a few minutes of silence, “I don’t see it.”

“I didn’t either, at first,” Elsa admitted, “Not when I was little. But some of the stars are brighter than others, and they make pictures up there.”

Honeymaren was silent for a second before her brown eyes found Elsa’s blue ones and she spoke softly.

“Can you teach me?”

Into the unknown!

Despite Elsa wishing she could just avoid Honeymaren and her feelings, their meetings out by the shrines became more and more common until they met every night. Elsa would teach Honeymaren constellations and Honeymaren would tell Elsa about traditions that her mother would have been a part of. It became easy, just to talk. They never talked about it during the day, not even to each other. Those nights were theirs and only theirs. No one else needed to know.

Into the unknown! Into the unknown!

It was weeks of this before Honeymaren came out later than usual, her eyes unfocused.

“What’s wrong?” Elsa asked immediately.

“Nothing.”

The other woman sounded guarded, like she didn’t want to talk about it, but Elsa asked, anyway.

“Honeymaren. You know that you can tell me anything, right?”

Honeymaren sighed before she responded, “I love the stars. I love nights out here, telling stories and watching the sky. I can’t go back to the darkness again. If I had to live under that mist again, with no trace of starlight or sky...”

Elsa understood, “Nightmares.”

Honeymaren nodded, “Nightmares.”

The two had talked about their pasts before. Honeymaren was a warrior and Elsa was a queen. They knew everything about each other, which was how Elsa knew she could tell her.

“Sometimes I dream I have gloves on,” she admitted, “Gloves I can’t take off. And I’m locked in a room where I can hear Anna asking me to come out, but my voice won’t work, so I can’t tell her that I want to.”

“That’s terrible.”

Elsa shrugged, “That’s life. I think being human means you can’t ever get rid of your pain. I just thought maybe you’d want to know that there’s nothing wrong with you. That you’re not alone.”

Honeymaren hesitated before she put her arm around Elsa, pulling her against her shoulder.

Elsa’s heart was hammering so hard that it took her a second to realize that Honeymaren was singing slowly, lyrics they both knew.

“Where the north wind meets the sea, there’s a river made of memory. Sleep, my darling, safe and sound, for in this river all is found.”

Elsa joined in the second verse, her voice rising to create a beautiful harmony with Honeymaren’s lower tones.

“In her waters, deep and true, lie the answers and a path for you. Dive down deep into her sound. But not too deep or you’ll be drowned.”

Elsa wasn’t sure if she was diving in too deep.

What do you want?—Cause you’re keeping me awake.

Their moment on the night Honeymaren had a nightmare was somehow too much, as Elsa found herself unable to so much as talk to the brunette afterwards. Two days, she managed to hold out before she had to get answers. Before she had to ride out to Ahtohallan.

Are you here to distract me?—So I make a big mistake?

“What is wrong with me, Mother?” Elsa asked the river desperately, “Am I in love with Honeymaren? Is loving a woman wrong? Mother, please.”

An image appeared—a woman standing with a younger version of Elsa’s mother. Presumably Elsa’s grandmother.

Another woman walked up, throwing her arm around Grandmother’s shoulders and kissing her, much to the annoyance of young Iduna.

Or are you someone out there who’s a little bit like me?

Elsa still avoided Honeymaren when she got back. Actually, she just avoided the Northulda, instead riding to Arendelle to talk to Anna.

No matter how much her internal compass wanted to be near a certain brunette warrior, Elsa needed to clear her head, first.

Who knows deep down, I’m not where I’m meant to be?

“So, Mother’s parents were two women?” Anna asked.

Elsa nodded, remembering the image.

“It’s not wrong, you know,” Anna said, “I don’t care who you love. Oakan is in love with a man, so I’m sure women can love women, too.”

“But I’m not sure I should,” Elsa mumbled, “Anna, a queen is supposed to marry a man. She’s supposed to produce an heir.”

“Well, then, I guess it’s a good thing I’m the one who has to worry about that.”

Elsa took a deep breath. She knew logically she shouldn’t care about this anymore. But she did.

“You made me queen for a reason,” Anna insisted, “Part of that reason was so you didn’t need to worry about all that stuff with having an heir. I mean, sure, that’s pretty far in the future for Kristoff and I, but still. If you want to be with Honeymaren, or any woman, you should do it.”

“But how do I do that?”

Anna shrugged, “Admitting you love her would be a start.”

Elsa took a deep breath, “I love women. I love Honeymaren.”

“Great,” Anna said with a smirk, “So go get the girl. And if she doesn’t love you back, she’s not the one for you.”

Elsa still had no idea how to confess, or whatever she was supposed to do. But she knew she couldn’t keep acting like her feelings for Honeymaren were nothing. Not with the intense, magnetic pull she felt towards the warrior.

Every day’s a little harder, as I feel my power grow.

Honeymaren was waiting, glaring, when she got back.

“Our spot. Sundown. Don’t be late.”

Don’t you know there’s part of me that longs to go?

“What did you want to talk about?” Elsa asked awkwardly as they met at the spot they always watched the stars.

“Seriously?” Honeymaren asked harshly, “Elsa, you’ve been avoiding me for four days. Don’t act like you haven’t. I saw you ditch Ryder a few days ago to avoid talking to me. You’re acting weird. So talk to me. Tell me what’s going on with you, because I can’t help if I don’t know.”

Into the unknown!

Elsa took a deep breath, “Honeymaren, I... I love you.”

Into the unknown!

“I have for a long time. It took me a while to accept it, but I’ve loved you almost since I first moved to the Enchanted Forest. You’re strong, and brave, and so beautiful. And usually Anna’s the one who rambles, but I get where she’s coming from now. The way you make me feel... I just can’t fit it into words.

Honeymaren was silent, clearly not knowing what to say as her face betrayed her surprise.

Into the unknown!

“I’m sorry,” Elsa said wearily, “If I’ve scared you, or ruined our friendship. But I can’t help my feelings. I love you, Honeymaren.”

The way the brunette still wasn’t responding made Elsa feel terrified and excited at the same time. She usually was good at reading people, but this time, she had no clue.

Are you out there? Do you know me?

Then the warrior pulled her close, locking her lips against Elsa’s, and it felt like the most natural thing in the world as they stumbled back until Elsa was pressed between Honeymaren and one of the shrines.

Can you feel me? Can you show me?

“Maren? Someone told me you would be—oh.”

They pulled apart as Ryder ran up, looking as if he wished he could unsee what he’d just seen.

“What do you need, brother?” Honeymaren asked calmly, not moving.

Ryder swallowed nervously, “It was a reindeer thing. It can wait. Until morning at least. Bye.”

As he left, the two laughed a bit, savoring the look on Honeymaren’s brother’s face. Elsa had to admit, it was one of the funniest things she’d ever seen.

“What do you say we go somewhere a bit more private?” Honeymaren asked, “Somewhere my brother doesn’t know about?”

Elsa nodded, “I’m all yours.”

Where are you going? Don’t leave me alone. How do I follow you, into the unknown?

#frozen #frozen 2 #disney #elsamaren #queen elsa of arendelle #honeymaren #northuldra #the enchanted forest #queen anna of arendelle #kristoff #ryder #fanfiction #violet’s writing

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