#⋆｀. rel . renesmee‚ more than my own life.

[jimblejamblewritings]

romeo and...cullen? | part 21.

Summary: Y/N Cullen, youngest in both actual age and last to be turned in the Cullen clan. Her world is turned upside down when Bella Swan enters her family’s life, because Bella doesn’t bring just herself but drags some of her friends into the Cullen’s life as well.

Warnings for the Series: light violence, light angst, light smut

Pairing: Jacob Black x reader

Word Count: 1.7k

Previous Part | (Series Masterlist)

It took three days for both you and Bella to recover and five for Jacob to spill the beans to Charlie so your family wouldn’t have to leave. Of course, Charlie doesn’t know about the whole vampire thing. Just the fact that your boyfriend could turn into a giant animal. Jacob watched as you moved a little slower than usual in the Cullens’ kitchen while getting ready.

“I just had to recover just in time for the first day of school.”

“Senior year, babe.”

“You know this is pointless, I passed all the credit requirements last year. I’m basically going in to fill out a bunch of paperwork for the next like three weeks to get my diploma early. I should be able to do this online, not have to come in. So ridiculous.”

Edward came into the house with Renesmee. Your niece reached out for you. You bounced Renesmee on your hip and sung quietly as you poured out the smoothie you made into a glass. The baby giggled happily. Renesmee stuck a hand on your face and sent you images in your mind to let you know she liked your voice.

“Yeah? You want another song?”

“You’re good with kids.”

“Was a camp counselor at a daycare in my human life.” You handed off Renesmee to Jacob so you could finish packing and eating your breakfast.

Edward smiled from the couch. You and Jacob would actually make good parents. They way you two watched over Renesmee, he was sure of it. Bella came back with the rest of the family from hunting.

“Just in time, I was about to leave. Happy birthday, Bells.” You gave your friend a hug.

“I stopped aging three days ago.”

“Still your birthday, and the family’s got a surprise for you. Catch you all later, be back in like two hours.”

You walked out the door a little bummed you were gonna miss Bella’s birthday surprise, knowing Emmett spent literally all night working on the little cottage for Bella, Edward, and Renesmee.

~~

The house was a bit quieter that night without Edward and Bella but with a child everyone agreed it’d be nice for them to have their own space. Aside from the two hours you were filling out forms at school, Jacob hadn’t left your side. You were in bed, resting and watching television.

“You know, I’ve been thinking about what you asked in San Francisco,” you said rubbing up and down Jacob’s arms.

“Yeah?”

“What we’re gonna do with our lives. How we want to spend our future together… how much time I have with you…”

“As long as a wolf keeps phasing, he doesn’t age. You have as much time with me as you want,” Jacob answered.

You felt better knowing that. You knew it was a long time away but it still had made you anxious.

“I want forever with you.”

“Then forever you’ll have.” Jacob kissed you.

“Do we have to stay in Forks forever? Because of the pack?”

“What’s going on in that head of yours?”

“I wanna get married, I want us to have a family and enjoy life. Maybe move at some point.”

“Sam can hold down the fort here without me. You want to go back to San Francisco?”

“Maine.”

“Maine?” Jacob questioned.

“We have a family home there,” you explained.  “Practically an estate. Deed’s in my name, no more relatives. It’s probably a bit run down but it’s ours.”

“So we get married and move to Maine.”

“We renovate the house so the pack and my family have a place to visit anytime.”

“But we come back to Forks and visit frequently.”

“Of course, we shouldn’t make them come to us all the time. Plus we need to see Charlie and Sue.”

“And my old man would miss us a lot.”

“The old man’s coming with us.”

“Really?”

“Grandpa Billy needs to be close to the children.”

“Children? More than one?”

“What… did you only want one?”

“No, no, I like multiple. I just thought you’d only want one.”

“Well one would be easier to get through school. Tuition can be expensive.”

“Tuition? Private school?”

“My cousins went to one of the best in the state. My brother too, they had a boarding program. Top education, they’ve even got cute uniforms.”

“Could we afford that?”

“Well I have all my inheritance plus I’d get a job. I’m thinking of running a shop. Fashion design. Custom clothing and tailoring such.”

“You know how to design?”

“Second degree I got. Trained under Dolce and Gabbana.”

“Impressive. Can’t let you do all the work though, I’d run my own mechanic shop.”

“You should name it The Garage.”

“I like that. Nice ring to it.”

You and Jacob paused before looking each other in the eye and laughing.

“Not even on step one of marriage and we’ve already planned our whole lives,” Jacob said.

“Not even moved out of my bedroom.”

Jacob pulled you over so you were laying completely on top of him. The two of you had just calmed down from laughing.

“Should we make a dream board with our plans?” Jacob chuckled.

“I’ll get started on it tomorrow… I love you, Jake.”

“I love you, too.”

Jacob sat up so he could kiss you better. His hands roamed under the big t-shirt you were wearing. The lack of any clothes but his shirt made it easier for him to touch you. And his lack of shirt made it easier for you to run your hands up and down his body. You tried to push him down on the bed but Jacob didn’t budge. He brushed his hand against your cheek.

“I want to satisfy you, (Y/N).”

“Jacob, you do.”

“I want to make love to you. No needing to do more because I need it.”

“I thought we got past the bruises, babe.”

Jacob let out a short laugh. “Not the bruises. I know you want me to let go. You do that for me now let me do this for you.”

Jacob’s hands were once again under your shirt. He kissed a trail starting from your forehead to your neck. He slowly moved your hips in a circle as he nipped at your ear.

“Jake,” you half whispered half moaned.

Jacob kissed your lips gently but full of passion. “Let me take care of you babe.”

~~

Edward was very hesitant when you and Jacob suggested bringing Renesmee to see the pack, and very relieved when none of them imprinted. He might have a truce with the wolves for your sake but if one of them had imprinted on Renesmee he wasn’t sure what he’d do. With formalities out of the way, the pack was able to freely come and go in the Cullen house once again. Not that they all did too much. Everyone got along for you and Jake’s sake, but few had become like family to one another.

You parked your car in the garage and stumbled into the house knowing everyone would be there.

“Guess who’s graduated?!” you yelled into the house. “And they said I don’t have to walk if I don’t want to. Senior year, even easier the fifth time around.”

You joked as you came up the stairs from the garage only to find no one in the living room. Not even a scent left behind from anyone could be sensed when you dropped your shield. Not the Cullens, not the pack, not even Jacob. The only creature to greet you was Koda as she came down the stairs, licking your hand and demanding scratches.

“Really? Everyone ditched me?” you muttered as you made your way into the kitchen.

“I hope whatever you ditched me for was fucking worth it,” you yelled to no one but an empty house.

Jacob came bounding into the house as you yelled that, laughing.

“That would be my fault. Told them I was taking you out on a date tonight, everyone decided there was no point in staying.”

“Should I dress nice?” You looked at Jacob who was not too fancy but definitely a little more than casual, swapping out his normal t-shirt for a rolled-up button down shirt.

Jacob held up the pizza box he had behind his back. “You decide.”

Since it was pizza, you opted to match Jacob’s state of dress— not too fancy but not too casual either. Jacob pulled up to the ‘Welcome to Forks’ sign. You got out of the car and sat on the front hood.

“You know, I think this might have been my favorite dates we did,” you said as you ate pizza.

“Really? What about our vacation? This one was really your favorite?”

“Yeah, it was when everything was simpler. No supernatural bullshit. Just (Y/N) and Jake.” You looked over at Jake. “And your hair was longer.”

“You liked my long hair?” Jacob grinned as he ate a slice.

“Loved it.”

Jacob walked back around the car and brought out a Tupperware container of cake.

“Sue’s strawberry?” you asked hopeful.

“Right on the money, babe.”

It had been forever since you had any of Sue’s baking. Jacob was standing in front of you, both hands on your waist. Before he had a chance to grab your fork, you took a forkful of cake and fed it to him.

“You know we still have to pick a new date for Hawaii,” Jacob said after swallowing the bite of cake.

“Mmm? Maybe after Christmas. Everyone’s gonna want to spend Christmas together especially with Renesmee so maybe a few days after. I’m thinking New Year’s there must be fun.”

“Hey, (Y/N).”

“Yeah, Jake?”

“I wanna try something.”

You smiled, knowing exactly where this was going. You watched confused as Jacob didn’t lean in to kiss you but started to go down instead. Jacob fished in his back pocket and pulled out a small velvet box. He opened it to reveal a ring inside.

“Jacob, are you for real?” you asked barely above a whisper.

“(Y/N). I can honestly say I love you. Even before I knew it, you were my world the moment you entered my life and I don’t want you to leave it. It’s not just the imprint, I would’ve fallen for you regardless and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?”

“Jacob Black, of course I will marry you.”

Jacob slipped the ring on your finger before getting up and kissing you. You pulled back slightly to look him in the eye, not really believing what was happening. You smiled wider and kissed him again.

(Part 22)...

#jacob black x reader #twilight fic

[skyfall8600]

Children of Dawn - A Twilight Saga Fanfiction Pt. 1

Note: I originally created this story back in 2020 with the first lockdowns from COVID-19. I had posted it on Wattpad under a different name, SaturnFire2000. However, I kept being drawn back to this story. It might be a while before new chapters are added, but I thought it would be worth re-posting the story on here given my new-found family of followers. 

Summary: Years after the final battle, the Cullen family face new challenges. Edward and Bella take on new roles in life; Renesmee struggles to understand her goals and purpose in a world where no one is like her. The Volturi kept a large secret that could destroy them all. 

Series Masterlist 

Main Masterlist 

Warnings: Sexual references, violence, blood 

Chapter 1: Bella 

It has been six years since Renesmee’s birth. Life has been simple and pleasant, we decided to stay in Forks but on a low profile. Edward and I had to stop going into the main town often, people were starting to notice how young we looked… the same could be said about Jacob. 

With every passing year, I grew more surprised at how incredibly beautiful my daughter had become. Now, reaching her final year of growth she is even more stunning than when she was a child. Her reddish auburn hair had lost the defined curls, but the natural waves in her hair made her far more glamourous than before. Her body frame was much like mine, small and slender, thankfully she grew more into her feminine frame than I had. 

I am proud of the life we were able to provide for her, almost normal in some way. She and Jacob often travelled to nearby towns so she could interact with people outside of the family. Renesmee has become fonder of human food, incorporating more of it into her normal diet; as much as she loved hunting with us, she often felt sorry for taking an animal’s life. And so, we learned how to make better use of what we handed, using the remains for meat that she could consume for longer. 

Charlie has since learned more of what we are, yet the exact term has not been said yet. He and Sue married a little over a year ago, the wedding was not as extravagant as mine. It was a small ceremony, the Pack, a few towns people and my family all joined in the celebrations. Renee, the ever-supportive person she was, had to come and show her acceptance of the situation. It was not the first time Renee had seen me since my transition, two years after Renesmee was borne she looked like a prepubescent child, an appropriate time for her grandmother to be introduced to her. Using the same original story that we told Charlie, we adopted a young child from Edward’s family, only lying about the time period we had had her for. Since then, Renee believes that her adoptive granddaughter is simply going through teenage growth spurts in her transition to adult hood. However, she was starting to become suspicious of Edward and myself. 

We were set to travel to Volterra within the next month, Aro was eager to see the women Renesmee grew to be. Keeping him updated in her development was not something we agreed on, yet it was implied in the letters and gifts he sent to be sure that we kept to our word. Alice saw the Volturi capture Nahuel’s father, preventing him from creating any more experiments involving others of our kind. There has been no new news about any other hybrid children, Nahuel and his sisters have visited once or twice so Renesmee could be surrounded with people like her. The girls connected instantly, a strong bond forming between them and I was happy to see her have friends. Edward and Jacob were opposed to Nahuel visiting on his own, I even had to admit that perhaps his fascination over another hybrid outside of his relatives was far too great. 

I treasure whenever Renesmee and I are alone together, she remains to be the most precious thing on earth to me. She told me once that she could’ve sworn someone else was with her when I was pregnant, her young brain created imaginary faces to our voices she heard on the outside. I wish I could have given her a sibling, seeing the connection Nahuel’s sisters had with each other was something that came naturally. But she was loved and adored more than anything in this world. 

Renesmee was very curious of everyone’s previous life. She created family history documents and family trees, wanted to know as much about everyone as possible. Carlisle’s history was the oldest, and the most entertaining to her. Jasper and Alice helped her with her little project. At one stage, they found that Alice and I were distant relatives… her cousin married one of my great aunts, years before even Alice was borne. Of course, everyone agreed to the history project, she learned about so many historical events, wars and cultures of all kinds through us. 

Everything seemed perfect. 

“Can Jacob come?” Renesmee asked, we were finalising the plans for our trip and the thought of travelling without him made her fearful. Their relationship was slowly progressing to the romantic stage, I could tell in the ways they both blushed looking at each other and keeping more distance between them when someone else was in the room. Whilst the idea wasn’t ideal, nor did I particularly like it, at least Jacob is already part of the family. 

“He can’t leave the pack,” Edward responded to her. “It’s only a short trip Nes, we’ll be back before you know it.” 

“But what if it is a trap, Aro might still be sceptical about me. Or maybe he wants the three of us, for our powers.” 

“We can protect you, don’t worry.” He smiled, looking up from the couch of our cottage. She turned to face me, looking at me with those big brown eyes I could hardly ever say no to. 

“Maybe… it’s not such a bad idea.” I whispered, quietly. Avoiding the eyes of my husband, I instead focused on the book in my hands. 

“Bella, you know he can’t leave.” Edward said. 

“Leah is Beta, meaning she is in charge whilst he is gone.” I looked at him. “Think about it, I highly doubt Jacob would be too thrilled of Renesmee seeing the Volturi without him. It’ll calm everyone’s nerves.” 

“Bella…” 

“Just ask him,” I shrugged, my hair falling in front of my eyes. “If he says it is fine, I don’t see any reason why he can’t come.”  I subconsciously moved my shield to pass where Edward sat, giving him full access to my thoughts. Would you have let me go alone? I asked him. He narrowed his golden eyes at me, it was convenient sometimes to talk only between us. Yet, now it was me who thought it was unfair that I could not hear him. 

“Fine.” He snapped, looking back to our daughter in the lounge chair. “I will ask the mutt if he wants to come.” 

Edward! 

He laughed. As much as he wanted to get angry at Jacob, he couldn’t deny how important he had become in our lives. Jacob was family, forever and always now. 

Alice tried to see how our meeting with Aro would go, but for a few years now any visions of the Volturi were hazed. We assumed it was become of their hunt for Nahuel’s father, hybrids often blurred her vision. 

“Still nothing?” Japer asked her, everyone was now seated in the main Cullen household. 

“It’s clearer, but I can only make out this melody. Aro could have found someone to block me out.” Alice said, rubbing her temples. Beside her, Rosalie was slowly moving her fingers through Renesmee’s hair, creating a delicate braid. 

Although she was not a little girl anymore, Renesmee would always be the baby of the family, regardless of how mature she looked. Emmet had managed to convince Edward to let him ‘teach’ Renesmee how to fight, it was entertaining to see her win often. 

“And he learned the piano.” Edward laughed, clearly hearing the melody playing through Alice’s head. “I have to admit, it sounds good.” 

“Esme and I will be in Romania by the time you arrive at Volterra, it shouldn’t take too long to reach you if need be.” Carlisle said reassuringly to his children. 

“Thank you, Carlisle.” Edward nodded. 

I don’t regret my decision of joining this family. Never in my life had I seen such commitment and care for each other than I had between the Cullens, and now I was one of them. 

Renesmee ran outside when she heard Jacob approach the house, Esme and I laughed at how eager she was to see him. They looked almost the same age now, eighteen or nineteen in appearance. In one way, I was glad that Jacob was a wolf, preventing him to age for as long as he phased to his wolf form meant that Renesmee will never be alone without him. 

“It seems as though our daughter, has already told Jacob that I planned to ask him.” Edward said, looking out the window into the trees. “Impatient like her mother.” 

“Hey!” I responded; half flattered at the idea. She was a lot like me, and I was proud. Edward wished she would follow his musical instincts more naturally; she wouldn’t mind playing with him, but she would rather read and learn than play on her own. 

“I better go inform the guard dog of our plans.” He said, following after our daughter. 

I turned to Alice, hoping that she could be more open with me about what she saw. If Aro did have a shield, it meant he would be less after me to join him… even if he still wanted Alice and Edward. 

“I don’t think it’s a shield.” She said, slightly rocking back and forth on her toes. “It is only ever this fussy with hybrids and wolves, maybe he’s trying to learn more about what makes the wolves different to the Moon people.” 

“But he’s still in Volterra? Why would he take them there?” I asked. 

She shook her head, her pixie cut hair like small brown tassel shaking around her. “I don’t think it’s dangerous, but there is something happening. Perhaps I should come…” 

“Us three will be fine, Jacob will most likely be coming too.” 

“You were always too proud to ask for help.” She added. 

“I wasn’t six years ago.” I whispered, remembering the daunting events following Renesmee’s birth. I had never been so frightened in my life, thinking of the possibilities of someone taking her away from me when I didn’t know how much time I had left with her. I am forever grateful for the friends and family that stuck by us against the Volturi, but I hope to never live through that again. 

“I didn’t mean… Bella…I promise it will be fine.” Alice said.

“I know, Alice.” I said as I looked down at Edward, Renesmee and Jacob outside. “I know.”  

_______________________________________________________________________

A/n: If you like any of my work, please reblog. I promise it goes a long way in helping your favourite fanfic writers share their stories. 

#bella x edward #edward cullen #twilight #twilight revival #renesmee cullen #twilgiht saga #fanfiction #skyfall8600

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

Hi! What is your very specific Twilight AU?

okay, so. New Moon.

party disaster, dumping her and dipping, all happens normally.

but THEN. Bella finds out she’s pregnant.

(and I know you’re thinking- pre-marital sex?!?! Edward would NEVER! but listen. I am the author now. I’ve been around Christians my whole life. shut up!)

so anyway after a million pregnancy tests and a lot of googling about vampire baby legends, Bella’s like...well this is probably gonna be a situation,

Nessie doesn’t have an insane growth rate here because I hate that, so she has a normal amount of time to prepare, and she’s very...aware that the birth is gonna be Rough at best. So she goes to Jacob

who is NOT a wolf yet but Is aware of the pack and the treaty, and they are closer friends already, and she’s like ‘hey. paranormal emergency. you’re the only person in this town who enables me. help.’

 and Jacob’s like I’m Fucking Fifteen and goes and gets Leah, since she’s technically an adult and a girl

(ms. meyer How did you make one of leah’s only 3 character traits ‘upset she’s infertile’ and then not have her support bella’s choices in breaking dawn please make it make sense)

 so they start brainstorming solutions and the best they can work with is. Bella’s gotta ride out the pregnancy in hiding. they have no way of knowing whether she can survive the pregnancy and the only clue they have about whether the baby will be a monster or not is from google searches, but they also can’t exactly take her to an obgyn when her uterus feels like it’s calcified and her ribs are getting broken and she seems to be craving blood

So, Leah’s got her own little place. Bella moves in there, telling Charlie she wants to move back in with Renee (she knows her parents would never willingly call each other so as long as she keeps up communicating with both of them they should be none the wiser of her growing a little dracula in Leah Clearwater’s basement).

Leah has already defected from the wolf pack at this point (because...the Cullen’s left and she didn’t really like any of the guys anyway lmao) so they don’t run the risk of them hearing her thoughts while she’s in wolf form. She goes out and hunts animals, brings them back and her and Jake drain the blood from them so Bella can drink it. All three of them find this extremely disgusting obviously but Jake’s loyal and a little bit lovestruck, Leah’s a supportive friend and queen, and Bella’s just trying to keep her and her baby alive, and none of them feel like trying to rob a blood bank

Bella is 100% certain the baby will just be a baby who happens to like blood, like she was in bd, but the tentative plan is that if a crazy soulless monster comes out of her Leah will...handle that...

Which neither are thrilled about, so Bella’s just trying to focus on staying positive. And between that, trying to survive and stay hidden, Bella doesn’t really have time to...Check Out the way she did in new moon. Like, she’s absolutely still depressed, and she’s still getting an occasional Edward hallucination because carrying a vampire baby counts as reckless in many books, but she’s just more...resigned and pissed than anything. She’ll have days like the ‘possibilities’ scene, but more often than not she’s just telling the Edward hallucination to go fuck himself when he’s begging her to find the real him so they can have Carlisle deal with the pregnancy 

at some point, Seth gets roped into the whole mess (he’s prone to just breaking into his sister’s house) but since he’s like, 13 and The Best Baby Boy he’s immediately supportive. He didn’t even fucking know about the wolves and the vampires until he walked in on a six months pregnant Bella drinking blood while his sister and Jacob are hacking away at a dead deer, but he’s like...you know when you were 13 and sneaking around about Anything made you feel like the coolest person alive? point is he’s helpful

AND he can get away with spending a lot of time at Leah’s house without anyone finding it weird, unlike Jacob, so he starts spending most of his free time there keeping Bella company and brightening her day up

HE is the one who enables her when she comes up with the name Renesmee lmao

(just because she hates Edward doesn’t mean Esme ever did anything wrong!)

“bella I’ll throw you out of this house if you don’t come up with a real name” “leah she’s white you can’t just disrespect her culture like this omg”

anyway these four become the DORKIEST and WEIRDEST little family it’s cute

so then. labor.

it’s less...graphic than in bd because Bella hasn’t been actively dying the whole pregnancy and she doesn’t snap her spine in half, but it’s still. bad.

she essentially delivers a rock that Nessie then begins chewing her way out of. she’s actively bleeding out. Jacob’s having a panic attack. Leah made Seth watch so he would never have unprotected sex and the scare tactic is working. Leah’s covered in Bella’s blood which is not great considering she’s Holding A Rock That A Vampire Is Emerging From

Leah’s been taking classes and researching deliveries so she needs to stitch Bella up and see what else is wrong but Seth is rocking back and forth on the floor crying and Jacob’s screaming and pacing too fast to grab so she’s like. Bella babe I know you’re dying but you need to hold this thing for me ksjdfllksf

so while she’s handling That, Bella’s got this weird little rock in her arms and is watching the baby slowly fight it’s way out like this is a very fucked up egg or something and she’s just. overwhelmed. maybe it’s the blood loss but she’s looking at the messy, scrunchy little face and she’s already in love and envisioning their lives together.

and then, you know, the baby bites her,

she has just enough time to think ‘how did we not think to prepare for that’ before she can feel the venom coursing through her. it’s just as bad as she remembers from James’ bite but somehow...easier to tolerate. she blacks out pretty quickly

the other 3 notice and are like : 👁👄👁

Jacob...literally explodes into a wolf On Spot

Seth darts out the fucking door he’s seen enough for one day

Leah, sole holder of the braincell, realizes Nessie just bit and isn’t drinking from Bella, and deduces this is like...a survival instinct or something. the baby instinctively changes it’s mother first thing. weirdly...touching? 

So she gets the baby and checks that everything is physically okay with Bella (apart from you know. changing species) and is like...guess this is an issue for 3 days from now Leah

more immediate pressing issues: screaming new born baby and oh, yeah, the giant red wolf in the basement,

“Jacob I know this is disorienting but if you break anything in my house I’ll fucking kill you”

she really just leaves the poor boy to go get the baby cleaned up and warm up some of the frozen blood they’ve got in her fridge (RUINING HER TUPPERWARE, BELLA)

she’s not worried about the wolf pack mind meld yet because she knows Sam took the guys on a mission way farther up the coast for a few days and they’ll be too far away to hear Jake. hopefully, by the time they get back, Bella will be awake and they’ll have made an escape plan by then

and as she’s bottle feeding blood to the baby she’s thrilled that it seems to be like...relatively normal and not s horrific monster or anything. mission: unwillingly murder my best friend’s baby has been successfully canceled 

“Oh Goddamn it....Renesmee DOES fit you...”

Seth, from where he’s cowering behind the couch: “told you”

so, Jake eventually calms down, they spend the next few days cooing over Nessie and brainstorming how to handle Bella when she wakes up a vampire, and also nicknaming Nessie ‘Nessie’ because they know Bella will find that intolerable and they feel she deserves karmic punishment for stressing them out so much lmao

so, three days are up. Seth’s upstairs putting on a way-too-elaborate puppet show for the baby with not a care in the world. Leah and Jake are in the basement because they know Bella probably won’t want their wolf blood and their ready to phase in case she gets a little aggressive

but she just wakes up and is like. hey! how’s it going? where’s my baby?

sjdhfksdj they were expecting feral but Bella still has her super self-control. she didn’t even realize she’d changed into a vampire until they told her lmao

Bella’s a little too freaked out to try hunting yet so they give her some of the stored blood they’ve been feeding Ness and she’s like. good to go. Leah’s about to scream like have the elders been exaggerating this whole time or is Bella truly a freak??? lol

So, they spend a couple days just...relaxing, Bella and Renesmee bonding, they’re trying to come up with fun places Bella can move to with the baby so no one she knows finds out, and every now and then Leah and Jake go out and she tries to help him get the wolf thing under control

and then,,,,the pack get back from their mission early

and immediately are able to read Jacob’s mind

so they head over to Start Shit because there’s two bloodsuckers on their land but,

the pack not attacking because Jake imprinted on Renesmee? tired. the pack not attacking because Jake’s Alpha Genes have taken over and declared Nessie and Bella as part of his Pack and attacking would literally start a war? inspired

so they hash the whole thing out....ultimately Sam decides Bella is more of a victim than a threat, and since neither her or Nessie seem to be going on a bloodlust rampage any time soon...he decides to grant them immunity from the whole ‘kill the vampires’ rule. He’ll let her and her daughter stay in La Push as long as they agree to stick to animals and only hunt out of town. PLUS from what little Bella knows about the Volturi, she’s worried about them finding out about Nessie, so they’ll offer protection if that does happen, in exchange for her being able to help them with intel on any other vampire threats in the area (you know like. if a nomad is fucking stuff up in a nearby city, they’ll send her to talk to them first before deciding if they need to intervene. Sam has become acutely aware he has a lot of teens and kids in his pack, so he’s trying to keep them out of fights as much as possible)  

anyway that’s the story of Nessie gaining like 17 chaotic as hell ride or die uncles,

let’s fast forward a bit

it’s like 15 years later. Bella’s not living with Leah anymore, but she’s got a cute apartment in a nearby town, and owns and runs a bookstore on the first floor of it. she got her ged and did college online and teaches night classes at a community college. She’s still in contact with her parents, who Adore the life out of Nessie. She still helps the pack out and they’re all close. Nessie is a handful but in a fun and lovable way. They go on little weekend trips whenever they have time. Bella’s happy.

but then a. Situation. arises.

basically, the Volturi have been made aware of some unknown vampire chasing others out of the pacific northwest and conspiring with shapeshifters. and you know when Aro gets curious he tends to spin things dramatically. who’s to say this vampire isn’t conspiring against all vampires? against them? why has no one’s special talents worked on her? he simply must find out.

Bella and the Pack get word and decide their best course of action for now is to go on the run. they’re not gonna be able to take on a whole army but if they can bide some time and lay low they might be able to figure something out

except Bella is like....I have a teenage hybrid that the Volturi don’t know about yet...it would be EXTREMELY irresponsible to take her with me

but she can’t send Nessie to Charlie or Renee because they don’t know about her...dietary restrictions. She can’t stay with Billy or anyone else in La Push because the Volturi might trace the pack’s scent there and discover her. She’s panicking, they have to leave in a few days max and she can’t find a safe place for her daughter

and then she’s like.....fuck.

she had run into Jasper a couple of years ago- they have the same forgery guy and were heading to his building around the same time as a coincidence. She promised to forgive him for the party incident if he promised not to tell Edward he saw her and that she’s a vampire now. He agreed, but then told her Edward’s been living on his own for a while now and insisted on giving her his number...she never could bring herself to call it or delete it...but now...if she wants to be 100% Nessie is safe and protected...

fuck

So, the past 15 years have been fairly rough for Edward

he’s still convinced leaving in order to save Bella was the best course of action, but like...the vampires canonically mate for life. that’s his soulmate. he’s absolutely miserable without her. he’s thought about cracking and going to find her again but he always talks himself out of it, convinced she’d just tell him she hates him or something

so as stated in his patented Edward Cullen Self Loathing Guide, first thing to do is isolate yourself from all the lovebirds you usually live with. Sure, he keeps in contact, but...not well. he’s currently living alone and posing as a university student. He’s not even really sure what he’s supposed to be majoring in. He’s mostly been in a haze since he left Forks.

and one day....he gets a call from an unknown number. he ignores it, thinking it’s a spam call. but then it calls like 8 more times in a row and he figures answering might be a bit smarter than simply throwing it at the wall

And Edward...swears he came back to life and immediately had a heart attack the second he hears Bella’s voice

He feels breathless and disoriented the whole conversation, trying to figure out if his memory did her voice any justice, trying to rush out 15 years worth of apologies, trying to comprehend she’s actually speaking to him.

But Bella’s very blunt on the phone. She doesn’t want to let herself get emotional. She’s on a time limit, and she has to focus on getting her daughter to safety

And Edward swears he somehow misheard her the first ten or so times she told him. He had a daughter? that wasn’t possible

“she has the audacity to be your Evil Twin so I’m pretty sure it’s possible”

so she gives him a rundown. she needs to go into hiding, no I don’t need your help with that, gives him details about Nessie, what she’s like, what she likes to do, her diet, her favorite color, how annoyed she is by this whole situation, “Edward I know you don’t love me anymore, but I remember how protective you were, and that’s what I need Nessie to have right now. She needs you right now” and Edward wants so badly to refute Bella’s claim of lost love, to tell her he has absolutely no idea how to be a parent, but...her tone is aching so much he can barely speak. He can’t let Bella down again, and he can’t let this little girl he foolishly created and left down anymore than he already has, either.

So he agrees, she tells him to be at the airport in a few days, and hangs up. 

Edward loses about half a day staring at a wall in shock, before he jumps into preparations.

Bella told him while their daughter possessed some speed and strength, hunting was fairly dangerous for her. She was more delicate than his kind, and had a heartbeat. Reheated blood bags had been their best option, and she also needed human food as well. He also had to get a room ready for her- he wandered around stores for hours, reading young girls minds to see if there was any furniture or decorations that were universally liked- which was of course, fruitless, but he did manage to find a handful of things he was sure Bella would have liked at that age, and prayed for the best. He somehow got himself covered in purple paint that was a nightmare to get off. Bella had sent him some forged documents claiming Nessie was his younger sister he’d won custody of, and he got her enrolled in a nearby school. He lived every day leading up to her arrival staving off a panic attack.

it wasn’t until he was on the way to the airport that he realized he forgot to inform his family about this life update. they must’ve been on a hunting trip, because he got nothing but voicemails 

imagine being Carlisle and you come home to a voicemail from your son who’s banished himself from the family that’s just like ‘hi. you’re a grandfather now. I’m having a nervous breakdown and might crash my car. call me back at your earliest convenience I suppose” like what would you DO

 after he gets to the airport he starts panicking again, realizing Bella had never actually sent him a picture, worrying about how he’d find her, but then- he sees a tiny girl with untamed, dark red curls, features strikingly similar to his own that are pulled into the expression Bella always made when she was reading, absently chewing on her lip, and before she looks at him with her mother’s big brown eyes, he already knows who he’s looking at, and he’s certain if he was human his tear ducts would be having a fit right now

Renesmee, however, seems less willing to have an emotional meeting. She mumbles out a simple greeting before gathering up her bags and heading for the door, Edward rushing behind her to try and help

listen. the awkwardness of Charlie trying to connect with Bella. but 10000x worse because of Edward’s overthinking, self-deprecating ass and Nessie being like ‘ah yes the guy who broke my pregnant teenage mothers heart, fantastic’ lmao

the car ride is p a i n f u l. Edward’s trying so hard for light conversation and Nessie’s barely giving one word answers. Bella had warned her about the mind reading so she was carefully keeping her mind blocked, which Edward is trying very hard to be understanding about instead of annoyed, but By God does he want to know everything about her

when they get back to his place, she quietly thanks him for the room and then promptly locks him out of it lol. He spends the rest of the day just pacing back and forth until he realizes he should eventually feed her lmao

and that’s...kinda how the first couple weeks go. she only emerges from her room if he bribes her with food, she awkwardly tries to dodge his questions, he drives her to school and then begs her to tell him how it went when he picks her up, he spends his college classes distracted because he’s freaking out constantly about how to successfully bond with her. His favorite time of day now is night, because she can’t block her mind while she’s asleep, and even if her dreams are all nonsense they’re still...part of her that he gets to know.

His family keeps begging him to let them meet her, but he’s pushing back because if she’s this bad at adjusting to one new family member, how is she going to handle six more?

(meanwhile Alice and Rose started a group chat with her and are having a ball clowning Edward lmao)

wait ksjflksd I think this vine perfectly sums up the dynamic im envisioning  https://youtu.be/wQZIUHNORHg

anyway they....very slowly make some progress. much too slowly for Edward’s taste, but hey.

Like he finds out snacks she likes. or jewelry she likes. stuff like that and just...wordlessly leaves it around for her lmao. he thinks it’s like trying not to startle a deer, Nessie thinks it’s more like a cat trying to gift you a dead mouse, but either way it’s weirdly endearing.

He notices she always has a huffy little frown when he picks her up on Wednesdays. So instead of begging her for an ounce of information of her school life, he asks her one Wednesday morning if she’s excited for the day and she admits she has an elective class every Wednesday with a girl she doesn’t get along with.

He gets her school photos (and Weeps) and realizes apart from her room the home is fairly barren of decorations, so he buys a bunch of picture frames and hangs up the school shots, and some pictures of the Cullen’s over the years, and the few he has of Bella that he could never bear to part with. Other than catching her smiling at the prom picture of her parents, Nessie doesn’t say anything- but the next time he comes home from hunting, there’s a pile of pictures of her growing up on the table, and he starts weeping all over again as he hangs them up

(there’s one of her and Bella hugging and looking at the camera with identical grins and joy in their eyes, he can’t help but put that in his room. He hopes one day he’ll get to see a scene like that in person)

He starts trying to get her out of her room a little more- he still hasn’t managed to a get a ‘favorites’ list out of her, so he starts playing movies Bella loved, to see if any of them lure her out. some do, some don’t- he got halfway through a Lord of the Rings marathon, which was Torture in his opinion, but then Ness came out and quietly asked if he could restart it and suddenly they became his favorite movies ever.

Bella’s not able to contact her on a set schedule or anything because of her situation (and you can bet your ass Edward’s contacted every vampire he knows and ordered them to help her out if they come across her or the Volturi), and Edward realizes that’s probably taking a toll on the girl, so he starts telling her stories of her mother when he knew her in Forks. She’s particularly amused by the blood typing incident- the first time Edward hears Nessie properly laugh, he literally starts crying on the spot

could you imagine the sheer panic if she ever gets so much as a cold

And yes, she’s still pissed on Bella’s behalf, and yes, she specifically blasts 70s music because Bella told her he hates it one time, and yes, if he looks at her like he’s a kicked puppy one more time she might claw his eyes out, and yes, she refuses to introduce him to her friends from school because she Knows everyone will then start asking her about her ‘hot brother’ and she can’t live with that and also can’t live with him knowing that so she told him if he ever introduces himself to any of her friends she’ll set him on fire, and yes, she’s homesick 95% of the time but...he’s growing on her. like a mold, or something.

(okay, maybe when Seth tried to analyze why Mamma Mia is her favorite musical, he might have had a point. half a point. quarter of a point. shut up.)

And Edward’s still trying to not have a panic attack every time she’s out of his sight- he’s got Carlisle keeping tabs on the Volturi for him, and it’s not exactly hard for him to keep track of her through other people’s minds- but she’s so tiny and her heartbeat is Too Fast and what if she inherited her mother’s unlucky streak??

but they’re toeing the line of co-existing peacefully and Edward’s scared to push it past that

then he has to, because it turns out he sent her to one of Those Schools where the parents have to be involved in the school in some way or another and Nessie’s Annoyed

sdkjfsdkjf she keeps trying to get him to just sign up for like pta meetings or something and he’s like ‘I need you to understand you are the only person in this town I actually know or like I Cannot survive around fundraiser moms I can’t’ 

so she’s like ugh fine I’m in the drama club

listen.....Stage Parent Edward Cullen.......the power this holds...

that’s right this whole post was an elaborate ruse for me to make a musical theater headcanon again lmao

no okay but seriously he starts off just helping build sets and stuff like that but then midway through the year their music teacher gets fired and the schools like begging him to take over because they can’t find someone in enough time that’ll know the music for the show they’re doing and he’s like “I need you to understand Nessie will never talk to me again if I start actually working at her school” and they’re like “She also will never talk to you again if we have to cancel the big musical, though” and he’s like. fuck.

silent treatment for a week and a half

lmao so now he’s trying to juggle being an overly-enthusiastic stage parent who’s making costumes and sets and kinda crying backstage when he sees his daughter in her costume with also being the music director for the damn show and trying to teach a bunch of kids how to read sheet music 

one day he ended up in a coffee shop with the hair and makeup moms, gossiping about the cast’s love lives, and he literally doesn’t know how he got there

is it wrong to pass Nessie in class even though she’s putting all the wrong answers on the test but he Knows she knows the right answers and is only answering wrong to try and get a rise out of him

Bella sneaks into town to see the show- they thought it would push their luck if the pack came, but they sent an ungodly amount of flowers and candy. When she snuck into the house while Ness was sleeping she Was Not expecting to find Edward up to his elbows in sequins, trying to fix a bedazzler he accidentally broke in frustration, muttering under his breath about how if Nessie’s romantic opposite in the show doesn’t keep his thoughts clean he’s gonna kill him- and it just cracks her up. She WAS nervous about seeing Edward again but now she’s assured he’s still a dork lol

So Edward freaks when he sees her but they don’t wanna wake Ness up so they’re trying to be quiet but like. they’re going through it 

Like Bella Wants to be pissed at him but she can’t, she still loves him- and while she can’t just get over what he did to her, it’s also not lost on her that ‘leaving to protect someone I love’ is literally what she had to do to her daughter

And Edward....Edward, who only left to give Bella a chance at a safe, human life, seeing Bella in front of him as a vampire, knowing it’s his fault she ended up that way and she had to go through it alone, had to raise a baby herself because he’d made it so hard to find him...knowing if he’d just pulled his head out of his ass he would have been able to be there for her...would be able to form a coherent sentence around his love right now, would have long and fond memories of Nessie’s childhood, likely wouldn’t have to watch Bella hide from the Volturi...he’s back in a self-loathing spiral already

But they haven’t seen each other in so long and they just don’t want to...deal with the unpleasantness right now, so they just push it aside. Bella helps Edward with the costumes. Edward fills her in on what she’s been missing with Nessie. Bella tells him some stuff about when Ness was younger. They just spend the night talking, and it feels like no time has past between them at all- which just makes the heartaches a little stronger

When Nessie wakes up to her mother there she’s ecstatic- bubbly and loud and glued to Bella’s hip all day, giving her in depth play-by-plays of her school and rehearsals and friends she’s made, bouncing on her toes all morning, hyper, giggly, and- it kind of breaks Edward’s heart a little, even though he knows he hasn’t really...earned this side of his daughter, yet. 

(at least he got his wish of seeing their twin smiles in person)

(he wishes he could see them every second of every day)

so the girls spend the day catching up while Edward mostly feels like a thirdwheel, and then they have to get Ness over to the school so she can get ready

Bella decides to hang out around the school theater before the show actually starts- she leans against the wall next to the piano, the two talking in hushed tones while Edward runs through songs. Bella really missed watching him play- the only thing that managed to drag her away from it was when Nessie called her to the dressing room to help with a hair emergency 

she didn’t talk to him much at intermission, her attention being stolen by the rest of the Cullen family (who had been Very Loudly supporting the show so far, she knew Ness was probably dying of embarrassment backstage)

after the show, the three went back to Edward’s and just...talked. Nessie was gushing about the show and eating while her parents assured her she was the greatest actress ever born, simple stuff like that. she fell asleep sandwiched in between them on the couch 

Bella realizes she’s never going to be able to bring herself to leave again if Nessie wakes up, and tells Edward as much. He clearly doesn’t want her to go just yet either, but...she’s on the run, it’s not like she has much choice 

He has so much he wants to say to her but he just- can’t. it’s not the right time. but he’s hoping she can see that in his eyes

Bella shifts Nessie off her shoulder so Edward can hold her, and she gives him a light kiss and says ‘thank you, Edward’ before disappearing in a flash. she needed to go before she lost her nerve.

Edward can’t bring himself to let Nessie out of his arms, so instead of carrying her to bed he just stays there, holding her, trying his best not to think that that could be the last time for a long time he’d ever see his Bella again, trying not to let thoughts of a life he gave up unwittingly consume him

okay I didn’t mean for this to be So Long so I’m cutting it here uhh...let me know if anyone wants a part 2? sorry lmao

#twilight #edward cullen #bella swan #edbella #twilight saga #asks #molly mumbles #elephantlovingmouse

[lunastwilightblog]

The Volturi are the good guys and Bella is the up-and-coming villain

I’m on my computer for this as I know it might be long, but bear with me (insert Emmett pun here) 🐻

So wait - the Volturi are the good guys? But didn’t SM write them as the bad guys? 

Well, yes, SM did write Aro and co in as the antagonists of the series, but bear in mind that originally she didn’t write most of New Moon to happen, or the entirety of Eclipse. There was Twilight and Forever Dawn, which we’ll sadly never read. Her vision of the Volturi and their role as the evil villains who wanted to separate Edward and Bella became distorted as she had to flesh them out more and show their role as the governing body.

Then she wrote the Illustrated Guide and revealed their history and the horrors of the world without their authority; with the Romanians being as brutal as they were, the constant terror humans lived with and the fracturing of the world into many unstable and violent vampire-ruled empires (plus with way more children of the moon running about, probably as far west as - at least - central Europe). 

When the Volturi were coming to power they were laughed at with the idea of their law, a significant reason the Romanians didn’t take them seriously. But now they are extremely popular.

This isn’t just because Aro created vampires to go out and sing his praises. Volturi rule has been a blessing for both humans and vampires.

For humans it’s the obvious: they are not living their lives in fear, they are not subject to massacres (except if caught in newborn warzones), their population has been able to grow and expand, modern medicine and technology have been able to flourish, society is much more stable, people need to flee areas much less (if ever) so they can stay put and complete research/live to meet their grandkids/etc, and not have to serve a vampire in the local castle. 

For vampires it’s actually quite similar: with the human population growing to as large as it is today when at the time the Volturi came to power it was (estimated to be) only 210 million globally, vampires have been able to grow to even greater numbers also, and feed more often than before. If a vampire 2000 years ago killed 5 people in a town it would be an outrage the humans would certainly have noticed, however kill 5 people in a place as big as London, LA, Paris, Singapore, Bucharest... it would likely not be noticed very much, if at all (depending on who you kill).  

Humans like to measure things in percentages. Those 5 people is a huge number to a town of 2000 - that’s 0.25% of the whole town’s population. It would be talked about, and relatives of the dead/missing would all know each other. Yet kill those 5 in a city of 12 million (as is London), that’s only 0.00004167% of the population. And chances are, the dead humans’ families don’t even live in the area (or could be in another country entirely) never mind know each other to realise there was a mass murder.

So vampires, as long as they hide from humans, as is the only law (besides no immortal children or consorting with werewolves), they have a lot more freedom nowadays than they did before the times of the Volturi. There are so many people that they can easily get lost in a crowd, move internationally, and not be pressured for allegiance by a local vampire warlord (before meeting Aro, Caius ran afoul of the Romanians, and he barely escaped with his life).

With there only being one authority, and one that does not interfere with your day-to-day life, is a dream come true. As long as they don’t break this law that is very easy to abide by, they can do whatever the f*** they want.

Carlisle would have never been able to get a job as a doctor if he was known to be a vampire, nor could any of the Cullens have entered education of any form. They’d be stuck sneaking into libraries after closing, and googling. Edward would have never met Bella (neither would Edward’s ancestors have immigrated to America - in fact, Europeans may have never discovered America in the first place. The whole Cullen coven aside from Carlisle might never have been born).

So what the Volturi have done (despite many of them having not-so-savoury personalities corrupted by hunger for power or violence) is bring peace to the world, get rid of tyrants, increase the food supply, allow a greater amount of freedom, and the first kind of trials and justice ever seen in their world. Sure, Aro uses trials to find new talent, but it’s still a world away from before.

Which leads me on to the events of Breaking Dawn, and Bella.

So. Maybe controversial, but: the Volturi did absolutely nothing wrong in Breaking Dawn.

They turned up thinking a serious crime had been committed. They stopped to talk (which Vladimir certainly never would have done!), considered the evidence and processed new discoveries and discussed their legality, decided there was no crime to punish, and left with only the informant dead. Yes, Irina had been innocent in the way that she strongly had believed she had been telling the truth and her memories must have presented good enough evidence to Aro initially, but their witnesses had come to see justice being served, and in the vampire world that is execution. Aro could have continued with prosecuting the Cullens for something he now knew was false, or execute Irina instead.

(Side note: she did kind of deserve it too. She didn’t bother to check her evidence, she wanted revenge for Laurent’s death so her accusation wasn’t coming from a place of good intentions but instead she was willing to have her friends and family killed for Laurent. She was also forcing Aro into a position where he had to prepare himself to kill Carlisle, whom we know he cherishes. Remember also that Aro turned down Laurent’s application to the Guard because he’d followed the Romanians for a while, so he won’t have been entirely trusting of Irina anyway, her having been Laurent’s mate).

Anyway. Onto Bella.

So Aro’s impression of Bella after New Moon seems to be positive. Why? Well, through Edward’s thoughts he saw that Bella was able to keep The Secret. He had heard how much she wanted to be a vampire. In addition, Marcus showed him how strong Edward and Bella’s bond is. Both of them knew, that if E & B’s love was almost as strong as Marcus and Didyme’s, that no matter what Edward currently said or thought about Bella being turned it was invalid. If Bella were dying, he would turn her for sure, which happened. Then the obvious, that Edward had already proven he could not live without her.

Bella was trustworthy and probably going to be turned. Alice showing proof was just a formality so Aro could say he had evidence rather than admit he’d just made assumptions (and Alice having had that vision may act as proof that his assumption was correct).

Therefore, from Aro’s perspective, Bella was a human who wanted to become immortal so much that she would rather die than not, and she was already following his law. She was no issue. 

Yet.

Bella, knowing the law, should have been very grateful that she was left alive. Edward not being executed and she not being killed or forcibly turned on the spot... Aro had been very nice to them.

And again, in BD, he was very nice to them. Some people will inevitably say that he was weak in not killing them all. I mean, they stood beside Vladimir and Stefan! They have an army of wolves fundamentally opposed to vampires! Aro has lost Good Reputation Points by sparing the Cullens. He held as close to a trial as vampire society has ever had, and rightfully pronounced the Cullens innocent.

So shouldn’t Bella like him? He has spared her life and the lives of her loved ones more than one, and proven that he can be spoken to and conversed with properly and is willing to admit he was wrong. With Aro, we know it’s important to look more at what he does than what he says, and what he has done is be very kind to the Cullens (though who knows about the future?).

Yet Bella was creeped out by him when they met and interpreted him as a threat to Edward’s life. As she loves Edward, she’s always going to be of this mind, and first impressions are important.

Vampires are stuck with the mindsets they had when turned. An example of this is Esme, who was turned after her baby died and she tried to die too. She is permanently feeling maternal. She was turned only days after giving birth. Before knowing this, Bella even describes her as maternal and the mother of the family. Huilen also has a lot of care for Nahuel, being his aunt, because of her love for Pire, and while she was dying, Pire begged Huilen to raise him. Joham does not seem to have this parental love for his son and daughters; he never really knew Pire and was never affected by her love for Nahuel, and did not meet him until years after he was born. He’s only genetically a parent. He doesn’t have the protective mindset. When he was turned, he was a curious scientist (in fact, it was even why his creator turned him). He sees the world and people as things to study.

Anyway.

When Bella was turned, all she was thinking about was Renesmee. She begged Edward to get the baby out and didn’t care for her own life.

And she will be forever stuck in this high alert, must-protect-my-baby mode. Then for weeks as a newborn vampire, she was thinking of Aro as a threat and preparing to fight him. Compounding that, he was a threat to her daughter.

Both of these things will have had a significant effect on who she will have become after her newborn phase ended. It is impossible for Bella to ever like Aro now, even if she tried.

Her dislike of him, and willingness to fight against him, will be forever engrained in her brain.

This is dangerous.

Bella found the Romanians weird, but she didn’t dislike them per se. She would probably be willing to stand with them against the Volturi again.

We can take an educated guess and assume that sometime they will rise up again - and Bella might stand with them (though I highly doubt any of the other Cullens would).

Bella was not a problem for Aro until she stood beside Vladimir and Stefan. 

Here is this vampire who can block most of his coven’s gifts, stuck with an intense dislike of him, who he has seen with his own eyes stand with his enemies. He has every right to be nervous now. Her love for her mate is almost as strong as Marcus’s bond to Didyme - how strong is her bond to Renesmee? Likely more. Aro knows the threat in that. He knows that Bella may be viewing him in the way Marcus feels when he thinks of taking revenge on whoever killed Didyme.

Nobody wants the Romanians back in power. Those who lived under their reign and those who have heard first hand stories told to them all know very well that life under Vladimir would be horrible, brutal, awful for all beside his close coven members (though considering he had a very large coven that was often squabbling amongst itself, it was probably miserable for a lot of them too).

But Bella is young. She has no memory of the world before the Volturi, and knows no one with first hand experience of that world other than the Volturi. She will have heard that it was horrible, but she has no emotional or personal connection to the near-ancient past, and vampires who lived during that time are disappearing. No one lives forever.

Then, she is American. Like Garrett, she values freedom, and the Volturi are the only oppressive vampire force either of them has ever known. Despite them being the least oppressive in vampire history, Bella and Garrett haven’t experienced the alternative. They are a government that is at times harsh, is corrupt, and executes people. They go to war and they obliterate their enemies. Bella doesn’t see that the Volturi is the least bad government her world is ever going to get, and that they’ve granted her so much freedom. She is unable to see that because, in her youth, she has nothing to compare them against.

By standing against the Volturi, Bella isn’t just standing against Aro, Caius, and Marcus. She is standing against the peace they have brought between vampires, against humans living without fear, against modern civilisation itself. She stands a representative of the next world order, and Aro can sense it.

#bella swan #bella cullen #aro volturi #volturi #the volturi #the volturi coven #volturi coven #edward cullen #esme cullen #pire twilight #huilen twilight #nahuel twilight #Joham twilight #garrett twilight #irina twilight #Irina Denali #carlisle cullen #cullen family #cullen coven #THETWILIGHTSAGA #twilgihtsaga #twilightsagaedit #twilight renaissance #twilight revival #twilight renewal #twilight resurgance

[aro-is-gay-af]

Why do I think Resume will end up with Volturi - an attempt to explain Bella/Renesmee relationship

As within the fandom nobody likes Renee (no wonder why) I'd like to make an attempt at explaining to y'all what's like to have a parent like her (because I've got the same problem) and why this is going to cause problem over the years between Bella and Renesmee. This post will include such things as explaining:

why being in a relationship like this is so tiresome

what kind of effect has it on Bella

why Bella is just the same towards Renesmee as her mother was to her

why Bella and Renessme dynamics as mother/daughter aren't as fantastic

why is it so probable that Renesmee will eventually join the Volturi and what may be her reasons to do so.

1. Someone, who's never been in the kind of relationship that Bella and Renee have, is not going to catch up quickly with the point that I'm making in this post. Why? Because it's hard to imagine yourself being in an abusive or neglectful relationship with a person, who is a close relative of yours. You never want to acknowledge that something is wrong and instead, you're trying to find excuses for the person's abusive behavior. Fandom agrees on the fact, that Renee is, at best, neglectful of Bella, while at worst, she's downright abusive. I agree with both statements and in a moment you'll know why. You also need to know that everything I'll write here is from my experience from being in such a relationship hence it doesn't mean everyone will have the same experiences as myself. Now, why is such a relationship so tiresome and you struggle to find your true self in it? In my case, very similarly to Bella, I became responsible for things I shouldn't be responsible for at a very young age. I didn't have the time to actually be a kid because I needed to handle "adult responsibilities". When you have adults' responsibilities you lose something beyond reclaim. You'll never go back to your childhood and be a child once again. I was forced, not only to handle myself, but also my brother and mother, and our household. I didn't have time to do most things that kids do cause I was taking care of my brother, or my mother, or doing chores, or anything that was supposed to be done by adults, except it wasn't. While all of this made me extremely responsible, it also made me anxious, bitter towards my parents and I suffered from depression for a long time. I read somewhere that Bella is exaggerating and it's normal to help your parents within the house, to have responsibilities. The problem here is that Renee is Bella's responsibility in the same way my mother and brother were mine. You cannot give this up because you're too responsible but it also eats you from the insides. Also, if I remember correctly, Bella says somewhere in the book that she doesn't mind this because that's how things are for a long time. That's exactly what I'm talking about! When such responsibilities are forced on you at a very young age, you accept it and think it is natural. It isn't. Adult are adults, and kids should be kids, not kids forced into adulthood.

2. + 3. When you don't have time to be a child and you're forced into the adult world, there's always going to be some consequences that you cannot foresee prior. To Bella it ended actually sadly - we can see in the book, as well as in the movie, that Renesmee is almost as an accessory to Bella. Sure, Bella dies for her, but what else? Renesmee is described as mature and serious, she doesn't want to do things that kids usually do. Why? Smeyer made her this way, yeah, but apart from that, it's because Bella cannot handle a kid. The idea of full family appeared to her because she never had it herself. And while she admits that she doesn't even want children in Eclipse, suddenly in Breaking Dawn we see her change her mind completely. All she ever wanted was a) Edward and b) to be a vampire. So when she has these two goals achieved, why would she even bother with Renesmee? So Resume is mature enough and growing up quickly to relieve Bella from the burden of maternity.

4. Also, I'm not saying that Bella doesn't love Renesmee. Of course she does. Renesmee, also, loves her dearly. It's the same dynamics as between my and my mother, and between Bella and Renee. Bella loves Renne but needs to take care of her and be the responsible adult™. It also tires her, as she needs to think about how to handle the business in the most effective (and cheapest) way.

I think we can establish by now that love has nothing to do with this. So, because of her childhood and the poor illustrations of how relationships should work, Bella is exactly the same towards Renesmee as Renee (and partially Charlie) was to her. She thinks Renesmee is able to handle herself fine - she's constantly throwing at us proves that Renesmee is mature enough to do almost everything adults do. It's bullshit, of course, but Bella isn't aware of that. It's how she was brought up (or it's rather the lack of bringing her up by responsible adult) and she thinks it's the best way to fulfill parental duties.

As I said earlier, Bella is all smiles because she's got what she wanted - Edward and immortality. Yeah, it's great she has a daughter too, but like... hello, it's Edward and her and they have forever so why to bother with a child. It'll somehow work itself out. I will not ponder here on Edward being a father and how I see his relationship with Renesmee, however, I don't think it's pretty healthy either. Also, I need to add here, that Renesmee at least, has others (I mean other Cullens) who have probably more patience and time to actually raise a child. I think, and it's only a headcanon so take it easy, that Renesmee has excellent relationship with Rosalie. Rose will not treat her as adult - she'll prolong Renesmee's childhood as much as she's able to. She has time, patience, will and all love for her, so I think they're pretty close, and it would be a good, as well as a healthy relationship.

5. The older Renesmee will get, the more she'll be able to understand. Maybe the Cullens (and I hope it would turn out this way) would spare her this "being a premature adult" thing but her relationship with Bella will never be as close as she'd probably wish to. Sometimes, love isn't enough to keep up with the relationship and the shit that's going on around you constantly. One day, Renesmee will go to high school, then to university and then? Who the hell knows. She won't necessarily be with Bella. Sure, she'll be always her daughter, but she's not her property. At some point, Renesmee'll be mature enough to decide whether she wants to stay with her family, or travel, or join another coven. What I think, is that Bella won't be happy about it at all. Right now she has her fairy tale. She sacrificed nothing. She's living the life of her dreams with a man of her utmost desire. She has a child, even though vampires aren't suppose to have ones. What will happen if there will be a crack in her tale? Long, nasty cracks, throughout the wall. This is when I get to the point that Bella has no fucking clue what mess she got herself into (but that's for another post).

6. Holy Grail now. Lord, I'm always making this so long, this was supposed to be brief. Okay. So why do I think Renesmee will end up with the Volturi? A few reasons off the top of my head:

※ at some point Jacob will die and Charlie will die, and she'll now what's grief and how hard it is to go on. Yeah, yeah, I know that Jacob is also immortal right now, but he'll probably be killed while protecting Renesmee or Bella. I always think of their relationship as brother/sister because I cannot stand the imprinting shit Smeyer gave us. Also, I think I don't need to explain Charlie here. Renesmee will be devastated by both of these deaths and she'll have to come to terms with herself eventually. I guarantee you that she'll not be the same after that.

※ relationship with her parents. I briefly explained what I had on my mind when it comes to Bella. Renesmee loves her mother but that doesn't mean they'll have healthy and exemplary relationship. Sure, they can work on that, they have eternity but I think that at one point Renesmee will be fed up with the way how her mother is in love with eternity itself. Her relationship with Edward, as I said, is for another post, however I think with time it can get pretty hard. Could you live with the thought that your own father didn't want you? That he regretted that you exist at all? I don't think so. (Yeah, I'm simplifying, but I need to, so don't hate me for this).

※ Cullen coven can break or partially break. @therealvinelle talked about it here a little bit but that's also what I have in mind. Cullens are fairly young coven, with pretty unknown dynamics as we don't get to know them that much through saga (thanks Smeyer for not dwelling on it further). It isn't said anywhere that they'll last next century, not to think about more time passing.

※ she'll be fed up with constantly living with the humans. Imagine you need to constantly move, go to school/college and abide the rules that you didn't agree on in the first place. At first its great, Renesmee has time and reasources to flourish but she can also do that without anoyone else.

※ she has rampant hunger for knowledge. Where to find more books and more knowledge than in Volterra? Simple as it is.

※ she may not find vegetarian diet... sustainable for her. Remember how she was delighted when she drank first Bella's blood and than human blood in general? I think she can go on for some time on vegetarian diet plus/or human diet (if she was to attend i.e. med school which of course I think she would) but after some time, maybe a century, maybe less and maybe more, she'll eventually come to terms that she enjoyed drinking human blood. That's it. She's half vampire by descent. I don't think she'll be able to resist that much , also because everyone taught her from day one she could have what she asked for in a blink of an eye (remember Esme's spoons?).

AND most important (at least for me)

※ her worldview will completely change after a few/a lot of tragical experiences. Sorry, that's just common knowledge. Life is brutal, people are vicious and ruthless. She'll probably work or go somewhere, where she can see what humans are capable of (both in good and bad ways) and what one can do to achieve their goal. I think she'll go to Volturi to simply find comfort there. They've been alive for three thousand years. They can teach her things Cullen's aren't even aware of. Besides, I think it would be a great political move. We all know Aro wanted to know her so bad. If he would, she'll probably be able to influence him to some extent and spare her loved ones if it'd go that far. That's it! Of course, it's fucking long as hell. Sorry for that. Comment if you wish. I cannot wait if you think the same, similar or if you disagree completely! But no hate, please. Professionals have standards™.

#bella cullen #edward cullen #esme cullen #carlisle cullen #rosalie hale #emmett cullen #jasper hale #alice cullen #volturi #aro #aro volturi #twilight #the twilight saga #the twilight series #twilight revival #renesmee cullen #jacob black #charlie swan #renee dwyer #bella & renee #bella & renesmee #mother/daughter relationship #not healthy relationships #twilight imagine #twilight headcanon #resume cullen #i have 29 followers this is for you my friends #my writing #twilight meta #mine

[volturi-or-die]

Crazed: Chapter 2- Losses

Previous Chapter: Chapter 1- Trials

Next Chapter: Chapter 3- WIP

Point of View: Minalia

Word Count: 1858

Warnings: Explicit language

Crack.

The branch underneath me gave way, sending me backwards into the ground below. I attempted to maneuver myself into a crouching position, but it seemed fate wasn’t on my side. I hit the ground on my side, hard. 

“SHIT.”

Alec looked at me, completely unphased by what just happened. This was only the 20th time I tried to practice this move, and failed. I readjusted myself to lay on my back and placed a hand on the rib that was slightly fractured. I waited for a few minutes until it was back to normal then got up. 

“Again.” 

“Alec it’s not working.”

“Again.” He was disinterested in my attempts to reason with him. In the days we had been here, we had gone through multiple theories to trigger a transformation but none were effective. We tried everything from meditation to Alec’s ridiculous time of day theory a few days ago, nothing was working. Two weeks and no results.  

I spotted another tree I could practice on. Maybe the 21st time would be the charm? Alec’s latest idea involved tapping into animal instincts, or as I liked to put it, becoming one with the cat. Needless to say, Alec didn’t find that quip funny either. 

Our relationship was different now. The softness and kindness from that night wasn’t there anymore. I thought, maybe, just maybe, we would actually become friends, but I was wrong. The Alec I knew that saved me left, replaced by the one I believed to detest my very being. He resented me. He was here, far away from his own life, his own family, to help save mine. 

I was so lost in my thoughts that my foot slipped as I climbed up, and once again I was flat on the ground. 

“Minalia are you even trying?” 

Oh that was it. Of course I was trying. This was my life that I was fighting for. He didn’t have anything to lose in any of this, just maybe his pride. In all honesty he could afford to lose some of it. I wasn’t going to stand here and be disrespected like this. Yes, I was failing, but not through any fault of my own. 

“Yeah I’m trying you total jackass.” At that he turned to look at me, a tinge of shock present. Finally. I got his attention. “You heard me. I don’t need to put up with this, or with you and your stupid condescending attitude.” 

By this point I was up and looking up at him. 

“Fine, then I do not need to put any more effort into training you,” he snarled. 

“Oh right because me falling out of a tree over and over again is definitely training.”

“It would be if you could actually land.” 

He really was an insufferable jackass sometimes. I didn’t have to put up with this, nor was I going to. I turned around from him and began to walk away. 

“Where are you going?” he called out after me. 

“Away from you!” I picked up the pace to a full sprint and began making my way through trees. I caught the scent of the sea breeze and made my way towards the beach. With an island so small, I wanted as much space from Alec as possible. I slowed to take my shoes off before going into the water. 

I stood there letting my body soak up the sun. I just wanted to scream, let all the anger go, but that would only summon Alec to me. So instead I did the next best thing; I cried. 

The waves sprayed water all over me as the tears felt. Why could I not get a grip on my transformation? How was this even possible? Jacob could transform on the whim and turn back so easily, yet here I was failing at the first before I could even fail at the second. It was so easy that night, so easy to give myself over. 

I remember the feeling of my paws in the dirt, the musky smell of the vampires around, sounds of heartbeats. It wasn’t me. It was an animal. I died and in my place there was a creature. I woke up to my body being that creature’s body. The voice didn’t wake me up, it woke up a beast. 

That was the last time I heard it too, that voice of warning. Maybe that was for the better. Stupid thing only caused me trouble anyways. It caused me more troubles than those damned nightmares I was having too. If only Renesmee were here. She could help me with them in a heartbeat. 

I wondered how Ness was doing. What was Emmett up to? I missed them. I missed going rafting with Ness. I missed watching movies with Jasper. I missed cooking with Esme. I missed painting with Rosalie. I missed them all. That was my family. I needed to live for them. I needed to keep trying for them. I couldn’t fail them. 

I had to keep trying. 

My outfit was soaked now, the salt water making my skin itchy. I willed myself to get out of the water and go back to the house. It was a relatively large property for being the only one on the island. Alec explained to me when we arrived that it was only truly there for appearances, to keep people away from why a shell corporation had a private island. It did draw attention, but it was better to allow people to conclude it was a billionaire’s private getaway rather than anything else that could pique their curiosity.

Although the island’s initial purpose was for training, but not for me. It was for unruly newborns, on the very rare occasion the Volturi actually took any in. In even rarer cases, it was for hiding the kings and the wives away from danger should the compound in Volterra ever be threatened. According to Alec, the last time that happened was during the war with the Romanians. 

The same ones that I met that night. Stefan was his name. I tried getting more information from Alec, but he swore he did not know why I was captured. He told me that Stefan was concerned about my death and that Renesmee was just a pawn to get me. Neither of those things I understood, and it was perhaps the one instance in which I wish Alec would’ve lied to me. 

Speaking of the devil, I finally reached the main door to the house. Oh how I did not want to face the argument we would surely have. However, when I opened the door I was hit with the smell burnt...chicken? I hurried into the kitchen to see smoke coming from the oven. Alec was huddled over it fanning it with a dishcloth, his brows furrowed. 

“Alec, what on earth are you even doing?” I took the cloth from him and grabbed a mitt to pull the pan out of the oven. I opened the door to the porch and placed it there and left the door open to air the kitchen out. 

“I attempted to cook,” he replied, trying to keep the shame from his voice. 

“I can see that. I’m asking why.” 

It was clear he did not want to answer me. I gestured for him to answer me. “It was an apology. The past two weeks have not been easy on either one of us. I have not been mindful of your struggles with this, so I wanted to apologize. I have not been in this position to truly train and lead someone before, and I am sorry.” 

There had to be only one explanation for this. “Did Demetri yell at you again?” Alec glared in response. I held my hands up, “Just asking. Last time that’s what happened.” 

“I am perfectly capable of knowing when I should apologize.” Uhuh. So he says. But I wasn’t going to question him on that now.

“So what exactly were you trying to make?”

“It was something my mother used to cook.” His mother? I had never heard Alec speak of anyone besides Jane. In fact I did not know much of what actually occurred in Alec’s own past. I simply knew the stories how formidable his abilities were and roughly how old he was, but everything else was unknown to me. 

“You remember something that detailed from your human life?”

He paused before answering, “Truthfully, no. I remember my mother and the meals Jane and I would share with her. It was something to this effect, but I do not know what it fully was.”

I wanted to tease him. I doubt Alec knew the basic thing about cooking human food. The oven being set to 500 degrees Farenheit was proof enough. I pressed the button to turn it off and faced him. This wasn’t a time to really critique him, so I hugged him. “Thank you. Does this mean you’ll listen to me now?”

He placed his arms around me to hug me back. “I will take your ideas into consideration, and if you truly believe something is not working then we shall stop.” 

“That’s all I can ask for,” I replied as I loosened myself from his grasp and looked around, “Now, help me clean up the mess you made.” 

We cleaned the kitchen silently. I put away the various spices he tried to use; somehow I doubted Alec’s mother used ginger during her time. In less than 10 minutes we were done. 

“Are you ready to go back out and try again?” Alec asked. 

I shook my head no. “Let’s try a different type of training?”

Alec looked at me curiously, “What plan do you have?”

There was a possibility he could say no to this, but it was worth a shot. “Let’s not focus on what I can’t do but just pretend I can. If I am to be an effective member of the guard, we will have to trust each other right?” 

“Yes.” He seemed puzzled by where I was going with this.

“So, let’s stay in and get to know each other a little bit. I’m not asking you to divulge your deepest darkest secrets, but Alec, we can’t work together if we don’t know how we work. Two weeks secluded together doesn’t really work if we don’t really talk except when bickering.” 

“That may be the most sensible thing you have ever said.” Glad to see Alec had not lost his ability to be as blunt as possible. “Very well, we shall stay inside and talk.” 

“Fantastic!” I exclaimed as I grabbed his hand and led him to the living room. We spent hours talking. It was basic things, our simple interests. I learned that he liked to read most of the time, although he had a special interest in poetry. I told him of the games I liked to play with Emmett. Simple things. Small things. I learned more about him in the hours we spent talking in the entire time we had been here. 

Maybe, just maybe, this wouldn’t be so bad.

--

Tagged: @alecvolturi @volturisecretary @lamiafantasia @phil-dwyer-stan-account @janes-eyebrows 

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#alec volturi #alec volturi imagine #the volturi #volturi #twilight fanfiction #the twilight saga #twisted series

[tohavelost-arch]

but let’s talk about leah for a moment as i reword a bit of my rant from a few years back,

her boyfriend goes missing for two weeks and most people give up on searching for him. she ignores school and ignores her parents warnings, sneaking out of the house to go look for him in the forest herself. when he comes home a few short weeks later he is more muscular and looks different, almost older, more mature. his skin is burning hot. he never tells her where he was and she finally learns to respect it because she worries that he had to deal with awful things and she shouldn’t press it. he’s a bit distant at first, almost as if he is scared to get too close to her. he drops out of school and is nowhere to be found at random times of the day. soon jared and paul join him, dropped out of school, muscular, looking a bit different. there are rumors that they started a drug gang and leah refuses to believe them and holds back even though she wants to tear out people’s throats when she hears them whispering about sam. but things fall back to somewhat normal and she finally introduces her best friend to the man she was ready to marry when she finished school. and in an instant, sam’s looking at emily like he used to look at her. he avoids her for a few days and then tells her he can’t be with her. not long after, he’s with emily after she is injured in an awful animal attack.

then she loses her father and becomes a shifter herself. it hurts more than it should because she feels 100% responsible for his death, because in the books it is said that she blames herself for his death, the shock of her being the first female shifter triggering his heart attack. to ramp that up, he had to have seen her shift for that to happen. which in my mind, she was probably arguing with him about sam and emily, him saying that she shouldn’t judge them so harshly because he knows the truth. because leah so very much loved her dad, i don’t see another way for her transformation to get triggered. anyway, she phases and watches her father die before her eyes. she can’t reach out for him and can only howl, she sees she has paws and believes its a nightmare. suddnely, sam comes into the house stark naked and yanks her silver furry ass into the forest and phases back to his wolf form to try to communicate with her since none of his words as a human are connecting. he’s compassionate and tries his hardest to calm her down – tries to convince her that it wasn’t her fault. he has to spend over an hour trying to console her in the right ways that won’t piss her off more to get her to phase back. when she finally does phase back, she goes to the hospital to find out that her father is dead. sam’s heart breaks for the girl he still loves, the girl he wished he didn’t have to hurt and stays by her side to console her and she’s too distraught to push him away, even though a large piece of her knows that it’s going to hurt her more when she snaps back to reality.

then she has to deal with him going back to emily after he makes sure that the elders are there to help the clearwaters get home from the hospital. after some sleep, she has the state of mind to sit with the fact that the legends are true and that means that imprinting is true and nobody but emily had any true say in te matter. but even if she had had the strength to push him away or say that she only wanted to be friends with him – his love for leah would always be second to his love for emily and she wouldn’t have been able to deal with that either. she has to hear his thoughts constantly, how in love he is with emily. she probably even catches glimpses of their intimate life together from time to time. she sees emily through his vision as he explains to other shifters what imprinting is really like – hears the explanation jake ends up telling bella. has to sit through dinners at emily’s place and the bonfires and see sam and emily happily exchange kisses in front of her. and he proposes to her within a year, they’re living in a house that she should have been sharing with him. she has to deal with the sometimes silent judgements, about how kind emily is compared to her and how good her cooking is – even though leah can cook well too because it was one of the things she and emily loved doing together.

not to mention, she has to deal with the theories about how a woman shifted. she’s heard whispers that she may have some undiagnosed genetic issue that wasn’t strong enough to be noticable, but giving her enough male influence to shift.  then comes the heartbreak when she’s supposed to get her period for the first time since she started phasing and it never comes. was she barren? is that why sam imprinted on emily instead of her, because even though she has some of the most powerful wolf genes within her she simply wouldn’t be able to have his children to spread it on? her infertility a spark for more whispered conversations about everything.  she refuses to believe that the love she and sam shared wasn’t real – that emily was simply a better match for him in that regard. despite all of this, the first few months of phasing are filled with the boys drooling over their glimpses of her naked frame and she has to see the fantasies that play out in their minds in her own when they can’t help themselves, because lbr teenage hormones.

during the time of the newborn war, she hasn’t been in the pack that long. all of the above is still relatively fresh and her best strategy is to lash out to make everyone leave her alone – but it ends up in them (understandably so) lashing back. she doesn’t want to get close to anyone because she has lost sam, emily, and her father and doesn’t think she could handle any further heartache.  she doesn’t want others to care for her and tries not to care for them herself. surely, something is starting to stir between her mother and charlie around this time as bella becomes closer to edward and less present at home. and it pisses leah off because they should still be grieving over her father. charlie will not replace her dad and he shouldn’t even be looking at her mother that way – and how could she look at him that way? maybe nothing concrete happens until after this time – but she can sense it. so, she basically feels hopeless, that she really has lost everything in her old life at the drop of a hat. likely, she’s starting to wonder if things will ever get better for her, because she has no idea how long she’ll be stuck in the pack defending the tribe. running away isn’t an option because she could never consciously leave seth all alone, even when she knows he has to be getting dragged down by her inability to cope appropriately too, since he’s such a happy kid most of the time despite it all.

so she tries to take on that tick because she does believe she’s strong enough – and it’s really not a loss to anyone if she’s not. she isn’t being reckless to prove herself, she is just doing what she’s supposed to do, without a reason to worry about anything bad happening to her. not to mention her packmates nor the cullens saw the vampire at first and she knew there weren’t seconds to waste when it came to vampires. jake pushes her out of the way and nearly dies – and in an instant she has something else to feel guilty for. in her mind,  she knew jake didn���t do it for her, believes in her heart that he was trying to prove to bella that he would do anything for her. prove to bella that she cared about him. maybe he is starting to feel as hopeless as she felt, too. so she tries to play it off and tells the boys she could have taken it and gets yelled at by both paul and sam. that stings, it always does, when sam looks at her fueled with anger. she stands alone as they fix jake because no one, not even billy who was such good friends with harry that she would have a strong connection to, wants to look at her. if she hadn’t been reckless jake wouldn’t have had to step in. it’s her fault and she knows they all think it. his screams as carlisle rebreaks his bones tear her apart.

when she escapes sam’s pack to join jake’s, at the very least the two come to a strong understanding, a friendship, (since i know not everyone was converted to a hardcore blackwater shipper as the movies were coming out) which is something she hasn’t had in a long time. despite her best efforts to keep people away up until this point, she lets him in, empathizes with him so he doesn’t cast her back to sam’s thoughts. he says she’s less annoying that paul, even when seth said she ruins everything when she showed up. it hurts her when she sees him crying on the steps after bella’s heart stops beating because she knows either she dies or she’s worse than dead to him – and she knows how much he cares for bella and that his pain in this moment is unimaginable to her. not comparable to her feelings about sam, because at least sam’s alive and not a vampire. she holds seth back because she knows it’s better to grieve alone for a little while. then he imprints on renesmee and she feels imprinting has taken someone from her yet again because getting that instant strong connection to someone else would always change someone. he could turn into a lovestruck zombie like the others as renesmee quickly grows up.  not to mention she watches his pain get zapped away and wonders why she’s left out in the cold, feeling that her only solace can come from leaving everything behind. the incidence of imprinting picked up in their pack and even though she wouldn’t want to be forced into loving someone so absolutely in an incident, it would at least take her pain away. it would be a blessing in disguise unlike everything else that happened to her.

so yeah, leah is bitter, but you can’t sit there and tell me she doesn’t have reason to be.

#leah clearwater #『♫ 』 ʀᴇᴀʟɪᴛʏ ʙɪᴛᴇs... ᴀɴᴅ ᴅᴏᴇsɴ'ᴛ ʟᴇᴛ ɢᴏ (headcanon; leah) #[yo don't tell me i dont love my girl #my one true queen forever and always]