#*climbs in and sits there like a baby kangaroo* | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

shadamyheadcanons · 2 years

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Headcanon #270: A Rosie Outlook

((This is the Shadow-centric prologue to Shadow Sitting, because God knows I can’t stay away from that story. You have to squint to see the shadamy.))

Cross-posted on AO3.

Jo the kangaroo finished off her stack of paperwork and nodded in satisfaction. She was just reaching for the next pile when she heard the sound of a motorcycle from the driveway outside. When the engine stopped, she peeked up to see the door of the building swing open, the bell over it ringing jauntily as a black hedgehog with red stripes strode inside. His handsome face was set in a stalwart scowl, making Jo flinch. She recovered and acknowledged him.

“Welcome to the Chao shelter, sir!” she emphasized, in case he had somehow wandered into the wrong building, a possibility she felt was likely between the motorcycle, the leather jacket, and his glare. “What can I do for you?”

“I’m looking to adopt.”

His gravely voice was just as at-odds with his mission. She brushed it off and put on her Customer Smile. “Wonderful! The Chao are right through here.” She power-walked to a nearby door and inched it open, making sure no Chao were lingering behind it in hopes of escaping. The hedgehog followed her inside.

A porcupine was leaning against the wall by the entrance, feeding a baby Chao from a bottle. “Hey, Jo. Do you think you could--oh!”

The porcupine immediately stalled out upon locking eyes with the man. A haze of infatuation spread across her face. Jo held a hand to her forehead. Here we go again...

“H-hi! My name’s Charity. What’s yours?” She held out a hand to shake his and leaned forward, fluttering her eyelashes in an attempt to look cute. The Chao in her arms frowned in discomfort and grumbled quietly.

The man ignored her, instead reaching his hand past hers to support the Chao she’d partially let go of. “Are you alright?”

At the support and his concerned tone, the Chao settled down and smiled once more. The hedgehog nodded in relief, then fixed Charity with a look of irritation. “A Chao this young needs support at all times, literally and figuratively. Two hands.”

Charity’s eyes bugged out. She recovered and held the Chao with both hands again. “Right! Right. I knew that.”

“Hmph.” The man was clearly unimpressed and made no secret of it. He kept walking, leaving Charity flabbergasted. Jo chuckled under her breath and jogged to catch up with him.

“So is there any type of Chao you’re looking for in particular, Mr...?”

“Shadow. Shadow the hedgehog. I don’t have anything specific in mind.” He squatted down to pet the head of an older, grayish hero Chao, who preened at the attention. “Cute.”

“As you can see, we let the Chao walk around freely if they can handle it.” She gestured to the expansive cages in the center of the room. “Even when a Chao needs a cage, we provide a roommate so no one gets lonely.”

Sadness crossed Jo’s face. Except for one of them.

She turned back to Shadow, only to find one of the goofier flying-type Chao had taken residence upon his head, while a power-type had climbed up onto his shoulder. Shadow held a normally introverted dark swim-type in his arms. Jo held in a laugh at the silly picture. “You’re running out of room there! You really have a way with them, don’t you?”

Shadow held her gaze for a few seconds, then looked back down at the swim-type shyly. “I like Chao.”

“Really?! Me, too! I bet we have a lot in common,” Charity gushed, already past his earlier rebuff. Shadow barely glanced at her before continuing down the walkway, not even dignifying that with a response. Charity looked devastated. Jo had to cover her mouth to keep from laughing.

“As you can see, we have quite the variety,” Jo continued. “You’ll find all alignments and specialties, as well as different colors, two-tones, jewels, shinies--”

“I want to meet all of them.”

The blunt demand startled her, but she put on a smile once more. “Of course!”

The trio kept moving. Shadow stopped to pet every Chao he passed, and before long, he was covered in affectionate Chao who seemed to see something in him that the two workers couldn’t, especially Charity, as he smoothly shut down every advance she made. For all the clingy Chao he accumulated, however, Shadow didn’t seem to latch onto any one in particular, even as he had to walk slowly and carefully to account for the ones on his legs, arms, shoulders, head, and quills. All the while, his face never once faltered from his disgruntled scowl. It was a constant source of amusement for Jo.

At last, they’d looped around the whole place. “Are there any others?” Shadow asked, looking between each loving Chao that had plastered itself to his body.

Charity scratched her chin. “I think that’s it...”

“No.” Charity and Shadow both looked up at Jo. “There’s one more.”

Charity’s eyes widened in recognition. “You mean...” She cringed. “Are you sure, Jo? She’s...”

“I want to meet her,” Shadow cut in, his eyes flashing.

Jo nodded. “She’s over here.” If there’s anyone who can handle this Chao, it’s him.

Jo led the way around a corner to a separate part of the room. As Shadow approached it, the other Chao whimpered and climbed off of him to scurry back where they’d come from. Shadow’s serious expression was marred with worry. “What’s wrong? Where are they going?”

Jo winced and lowered her voice. “This next Chao has a tendency to...lash out. Her original owner was...”

She trailed off. Nausea spread across Shadow’s face. He swallowed his apparent pain at the injustice and nodded. Jo kept moving until the three of them stood in front of a sturdy cage in the corner held shut with a variety of locks. “What’s with all the locks?” Shadow asked.

“She’s a real escape artist!” Charity piped up. “Smartest Chao you’ll ever meet. Takes a lot to keep her in!”

Shadow’s frown deepened. “Understimulated, probably. I’d like to see her.”

Jo took out her keys, sighed, and got to work on the locks. “Alright, but don’t be disappointed if she’s a little standoffish. She doesn’t like to be held, even by us.”

“I’m patient.”

His response was automatic and authoritative, allowing for no arguments. Jo peeked up at him from the corner of her eye. We’ll see if that attitude’s still here in a few minutes.

Jo finished with the locks and carefully swung open the creaky door. Nothing happened for a few moments, but then a pair of wide eyes peeked out from the dark corner. The Chao tentatively crept forward into the light, still hiding half her body behind the wall of the cage as she poked her head out inquisitively.

Jo could see Shadow’s eyes widen. They shined with obvious affection the moment he saw her.

“She’s pink.”

Jo tilted her head in curiosity. Charity chimed in once more, her tone hesitant. “Yup! So...are you shopping for a girlfriend? Daughter...?”

Jo rolled her eyes. Honestly, can you get any more obvious?

Shadow didn’t look up. “No. I’m here for me.” Charity sighed in relief.

The Chao took another step into the light. Her color shone even more vibrantly, and her tiny, perpetual smile came into view. Shadow’s eyes looked smitten already.

“If you’re interested in adopting her, I’d ask that you please spend some time with her in the playroom.”

Shadow looked back up at Jo. “No problem. Is that the shelter’s policy?”

Jo bit her lip. “Not for all of them, but...” She lowered her voice. “She’s...been brought back a few times.”

Shadow’s eyes widened and blazed with anger on the Chao’s behalf. He took a deep breath to control himself. “I’d love to spend time with her.” Jo nodded. She reached down and tried to pick up the Chao. As always, the Chao whined in displeasure and wriggled away from her.

“Come on, now. We’re just introducing you to a new friend! It’ll only be for a second!” The Chao shook her head insistently and retreated to the back corner. Jo pouted and looked over her shoulder. “Just give me a second. She’s--”

“Have you tried walking her over instead?”

“Huh?”

Shadow crossed his arms. “You said she doesn’t like to be held. Why not hold her hand and lead her to the playroom instead?”

Jo held her mouth open for a moment, then closed it. “I haven’t tried that...”

"That’s such a good idea!” Charity gushed. “You’re really good with Chao. Maybe you should work here!”

Shadow blatantly ignored her to bend down next to the cage. “Chao feel more comfortable if you get down on their level. Try bending down like this.”

Charity pouted, while Jo took his advice. Slowly but surely, the Chao stepped forward. She warily reached up to take her hand. Jo smiled. “There we go! Let’s head over, shall we?” The Chao sucked on her paw. It was a nervous habit that most Chao outgrew before reaching adulthood.

Then again, this was no ordinary Chao.

Jo led them to the playroom, bending down awkwardly the whole way. She could see the way Shadow gazed down in admiration at the Chao, just as so many had before him. Between her perpetual smile and bright pink coat, she was the epitome of cuteness. Jo almost wished that weren’t the case; too many parents had taken her in, thinking such a cute Chao would be perfect for a child without considering the challenges this one would bring. Each time she was returned to the shelter, things got worse. On top of all that, she was clever enough to cause all sorts of mischief...and smart enough to understand what was going on every time another family brought her back. Jo looked back up at Shadow over her shoulder.

Please, please be different.

“Here we are,” Jo announced, leading them into the play area. Immediately, the Chao started whimpering and shuffled away into a corner, fear apparent in her eyes.

Shadow’s eyes immediately snapped up to the two workers. “Back up. She feels crowded.”

Jo and Charity backed up automatically at the demand. The Chao relaxed, and Shadow nodded in satisfaction before turning back to them. “Leave us. I’ll take care of things from here.”

His brusque tone left no room for disputes. Jo shuffled a reluctant Charity away from the playroom and told her to go back to feeding the Chao. As Jo got to work with a few chores of her own, she kept an eye on the pair in the playroom.

Through the plexiglass walls of the enclosure, she could see Shadow lie down on his stomach off the bat, keeping his motions slow. His face lacked the aggressive scowl he’d worn around Jo and Charity. He gazed across the enclosure at the Chao and waited for her to settle down, giving her as much space as he could. He remained motionless for several minutes.

In time, the Chao relaxed. She unrolled from the defensive ball she’d curled into, though she still kept to her side of the enclosure. She sucked on her paw, still eyeing him warily. Instead of advancing further, Shadow picked up a nearby box of crayons and a piece of construction paper, then started sketching something. After a few seconds, he subtly rolled a few crayons in the Chao’s direction, locking eyes with her briefly before going back to his own drawing. The Chao inspected the crayons with suspicion. After a moment, she cautiously picked one up, retrieved some paper of her own, and followed his example.

At first, it seemed as if he weren’t paying any particular attention to her. They were just two creatures sharing a space and an activity. The Chao soon stretched out lazily on the floor as she colored, looking far calmer than she usually did. Jo pondered this.

Chao love being held and getting attention. It’s good for them...but this one’s been picked up and held by strangers her whole life. And with how her first owner handled things... Jo winced as she kept cleaning out one of the cages. I wonder if she’ll always need extra space.

Shadow didn’t seem bothered. Once the Chao stopped coloring, he set down his own crayons and turned the paper around to show her. Jo squinted, but all she could see was a patch of pink and red. The Chao seemed to like it, though. She shuffled forward to show Shadow her own picture. Chao were never the best of artists, but Shadow appeared to pore over it with all the seriousness of an art critic. After a few moments, he nodded solemnly and muttered something Jo couldn’t hear. It must have been a compliment, though, as the Chao crossed her arms and nodded back proudly in response. Jo held in a snort. Those two look so different at first glance, but...

Shadow brought over a toy car next. The Chao turned away in disinterest, and Jo tsked and shook her head. You’re not gonna get anywhere with that one. She’s never liked the car. Jo started sweeping in front of the cages.

Shadow noticed the Chao’s lack of interest, too, but instead of pushing it, he flipped the toy car onto its back and started idly spinning one of its wheels. Jo paused in her sweeping to tilt her head in confusion. Now what is he up to?

The soft sound of the spinning wheels drew the Chao’s attention. She pretended not to be interested at first, but Shadow kept doing it, seemingly oblivious. Soon enough, she hesitantly crawled over. She sat down close to the car and started spinning the wheel farthest from Shadow. She did so slowly at first, then sped up her motions. Her tiny tail wagged in excitement. Shadow’s eyes flicked up, and he gave a small smile, the first one Jo had seen from him.

Jo’s eyes widened, and then she grinned. He’s not treating her like a pet. He’s treating her like a friend. Why have I never thought of that?

Shadow continued to play with the Chao for a while longer, longer than anyone else had ever played with her. Jo had time to fill all the other Chao’s water bowls. She glanced back over to the play area once she was done, only to find that Shadow had removed one of his hands from the toy. Instead of trying to pet the Chao, he laid it down on the floor palm-up. The Chao scooted forward to sit closer and cautiously sniffed at his glove. Seemingly deciding it was safe, she poked at his hand, curiously exploring it. She kept going until she got to the gold ring he was wearing on his wrist, and she tugged at it. Immediately, Shadow gently took her paw and held it aside. Jo saw him mouth a quiet but firm ‘no’ as he did so. The Chao reached for the ring again. When he stopped her paw with another firm but gentle touch and a repeated ‘no,’ she paused for a moment, then burst into tears. Shadow cringed.

Jo sighed and dropped her head. Here we go again. This Chao had figured out early on in life that she could use tears to get what she wanted. Jo, Charity, and the others had gotten used to her antics, but she was persistent and hard to ignore. It was a common complaint among families who’d brought her back: she’d cry constantly, so they’d keep spoiling her to try and make it stop, but it never made anyone happy for long. At least she’s starting early this time so he knows what he’s getting into, Jo thought. She looked back up in trepidation.

The Chao was still crying, but Shadow wasn’t cringing anymore. He wasn’t soothing her, either. He was just lying on his stomach on the playroom floor, arms folded in front of him as he waited. In time, the Chao “calmed down”--or rather, she paused her act to check on his reaction. At his blank stare, she sniffled loudly.

Shadow just wagged his finger. His expression remained stern. The message was clear as day.

I know exactly what you’re up to, and it’s not going to work on me.

The Chao sucked on her paw for a moment longer and sniffed again. When he still didn’t react, she sighed and closed her eyes, apparently giving up. Jo’s eyes were wide.

Already?! Is it just because he didn’t cave in from the start?

In time, Shadow’s expression softened once more. When the Chao opened her eyes, he reached up as if to pet her on the head, and she instinctively cringed, curling up defensively. Seeing this, he held back, then changed his approach. He lowered his hand and held it palm-up instead. She loosened up again and waited warily as his hand approached. Finally, he got close enough to scratch her under the chin with one finger.

At first, she just froze, but she started shaking as he kept scratching...and then she let out a giggle. He kept it up, and soon, she couldn’t help but crack up laughing, eventually unrolling entirely so he could scratch her belly, too. Jo grinned widely at the sight.

Shadow kept playing with her for quite some time. Jo had enough time to finish sweeping the whole place and settling all the Chao in for the night. Once she finished and nodded in approval, Shadow’s low voice chimed in from behind her.

“We’re all set.”

Jo turned around. Shadow’s face was set in the same solemn gaze as ever. He was holding hands with the Chao, who was standing idly and rocking back and forth a bit, the image of contentment. “So you’re adopting her?” Jo asked. When he nodded, she beamed with genuine excitement. “Wonderful! Right this way.”

Shadow took his time following her to the front desk so the Chao could keep up with him. Jo had enough time to set up her adoption papers. When the two got there, Jo set down a pen next to the forms. “Okay! First up is the adoption fee.” He handed over a credit card. When it cleared, she pointed to a couple boxes on the forms. “Sign and date here and here...and put her new name here. If you need a minute to decide on a name, that’s fine!”

She didn’t mention that the shelter had technically closed ten minutes ago. If it means this Chao can finally find a forever home, I’ll wait as long as I have to.

She watched as Shadow signed the forms, his penmanship unexpectedly elegant for such an outwardly rough person. When he got to the name section, he wrote down an “A” and an “M” before stopping and panicking. He frantically scribbled out the letters and instead wrote “Rosie.” He looked embarrassed. Jo tilted her head. What was he planning on writing?

Jo held up a stamp pad next so the newly-named Rosie could sign with her own pawprint, an unnecessary but endearing tradition the shelter had. Instead of lifting Rosie up to the table, Shadow let her climb up on her own, holding his hands out to spot her in case she fell. After signing the form with her paw, Rosie tried to put it in her mouth out of habit, but Shadow caught her and gently kept her paw away until they could wipe the ink off.

Shadow bid Jo farewell with a nod and a curt ‘thank you,’ then departed hand-in-paw with Rosie. Charity, who’d apparently finished with her closing duties in the intervening time, stepped over to stand beside Jo. She leaned in to speak to her, tone full of excitement.

“Do you think he’ll be back?”

Jo watched as Shadow took out a Chao-sized motorcycle helmet he must’ve bought in advance. He delicately clipped it under Rosie’s chin and helped her up into a cute sidecar Jo hadn’t noticed before. Before driving off, he leaned down to say something to Rosie, and the Chao nodded back. Both of their faces showed true smiles. Jo grinned.

“No. I have a feeling we’ve seen the last of both of them.”

#shadow the hedgehog #sonic the hedgehog #Chao #shadamy #Chao Dad Shadow is Best Shadow #hc #Rosie the Chao

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and-stir-the-stars · 1 year

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Now time for Dire Consequences Mike inside the plushie <3

Evan can't let go of Mike, even if it's just his corpse,and holds the plushie close as he stays wrapped up in the corpse's arms. Mike is uncomfortable (x10) with the arrangement but he can't argue for Evan’s sake. Sometimes Evan will try to curl into the cut in the corpse's stomach like a baby kangaroo climbing inside its mother's pouch, but THAT is too fucked up for Michael’s brain to comprehend and he begs Evan to stop. Evan is so far gone in his grief that he doesn't even comprehend what his new plushie friend is saying, but he can hear the tone of voice and the tone scares him enough to listen.

Mikey finally gets Evan to move away from the corpse only for Evan to "project" his dead brother's spirit on his new plushie friend. And even after getting Evan to leave the corpse, Ev makes an alter of sorts for the corpse because he knows that his big brother will come back. Mikey HAS to come back for him.

But as time goes on, Evan’s faith wavers. No matter how hard Mike-plush tries to keep his spirits up, Evan just sort of... fades. He stops playing games. He stops talking. He just lays down and holds his plushie friend close with his eyes closed.

"He left me," Evan whispers one day. "He's not coming back. No one is coming to save me."

Once he puts it to words, Evan realizes that he's angry. Angry at his big brother for leaving, angry at himself for believing things could be any different.

Evan goes over to the alter he built for Michael’s corpse. His hand hovers over the corpse, and the whole thing lights on fire.

Despite himself, Michal-plush is relieved. They'll both burn, and then they can finally move on.

Except Evan grabs his plushie and leaves and watches as the whole pizzeria goes up in flames. He sits there in the ashes for a long time. Evan doesn't know what he's looking for in the outside world, but he does know that if he can't save himself, then he isn't going to be saved at all.

#For his part michael is terrified of evan leaving the pizzeria #As he probably should be. Evan murdered him. What will evan do in the outside?#He has to fight to keep evan reigned in #But i think eventually Evan will realize that there's truly nowhere for him to belong anymore #I think his hold on earth will start slipping after that #No one is coming to save him. He can't save himself. There's nothing left to save.#Tho i think this ending could work equally well-- perhaps better-- in the ending #Where the plushie isn't Michael’s ghost at all #And ev is just hallucinating it talking to him #Dire consequences au #Tw body horror #tw corpse

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petculiars · 2 years

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Frill-Necked Lizard Facts

New Post has been published on https://www.petculiars.com/frill-necked-lizard-facts/

Frill-Necked Lizard Facts

Chlamydosaurus Kingii, the frill-necked lizard, frilled dragon, or frilled agama, is part of the Agamidae family and is one of the most common dragon lizards in Australia.

The frill-necked lizard enjoyed fame in Japan for a long time, after which it became the symbol of Australia, along with koalas and kangaroos.

The recognition came from the fact that the image of the lizard was used in an automobile advertisement.

Where is the frill-necked lizard found?

The frill-necked lizard is an arboreal lizard that lives in Australia, Tasmania, and Papua New Guinea. There it lives in dry forests and forest steppe.

A frill-necked lizard spends 90% of its time in trees. When it sits still or rests it is very well camouflaged on the bark. When looking for ants and other insects, it can be very fast and agile.

What does a frill-necked lizard look like?

Its size reaches 85 cm and weighs between 800 and 900g, featuring a sturdy body, elongated limbs, and a long tail.

The distinctive feature is the presence of a wide skin “collar” supported by the cartilage, which expands when the lizard feels threatened. It has a dual role as it is used both as a defense and also in the process of thermo-adjustment.

You might also like my articles on:

Whether Komodo dragons are dangerous

Whether bearded dragons are dangerous

Whether crocodiles are reptiles

The color of the lizard is relatively dull, in shades of gray and brown. Its collar is often strongly colored blue. When attacked, it can run, supporting itself only on the back legs. Because of this behavior, the animal is also known as the bicycle lizard.

When cornered, it turns its face toward the aggressor and opens wide its famous collar around the neck, while opening its bright yellow-pink mouth, as a threat.

What do frill-necked lizards eat?

The frill-necked lizard is an arboreal species that spends most of its time resting at the roots of trees or on their branches. The only time they go to the ground is when they feed.

The frilled dragon is insectivorous and eats, in principle, small invertebrates. However, lizards are sometimes known to feed on small mammals.

These lizards prey on insects, spiders, small mammals, and, sometimes, other lizards. It also likes to eat bird eggs.

Behavioral characteristics of the frill-necked lizard

This creature spends most of its free time climbing up trees or large shrubs, where it can also eat. The frilled dragon is not very active during the hunt, patiently waiting for the desired prey to approach. During the dry season, all the inhabitants have difficulties in procuring their food. But the frill-necked lizard is so patient that it climbs into the crowns of trees and waits there for up to 12 weeks. The fact is that when it is in the shade of branches, the lizard lacks heat, and the metabolic processes in its body slow down by 70%.

In open areas, representatives of the species have a large number of enemies, as these lizards are hunted by wild cats, snakes, and even predatory birds. In the process of evolution, these individuals have developed a unique system of protection.

By its nature, the frill-necked lizard prefers to lead a solitary lifestyle. When the lizard feels danger approaching, it immediately begins to turn into a terrible predatory “beast”.

Although this charming creature prefers to live in low humidity conditions, with the advent of the rainy season, its activity increases several times compared to normal.

At the same time, the breeding season begins, which is very interesting. Before starting the mating process, the male must draw the attention of the female lizard, and as soon as it succeeds, it begins making rhythmic movements of the head that resemble inviting assent. After successful mating, the female buries 8 to 14 eggs in a wet sand hole. After about ten weeks, the baby lizards hatch.

How do they defend themselves?

Seeing the enemy, the frill-necked lizard stops moving, as if numb, and tries to hide so that the enemy does not notice it. If that doesn’t work, then the lizard takes other actions.

The reptile begins making hissing sounds, opening its mouth wide, opening the umbrella collar, twisting its tail, and rising on its hind limbs. In most cases, the predator becomes confused and backs down.

If such actions were not successful, then the lizard quickly runs away, being again upright, using the hind legs, and the long tail to maintain balance.

The frill-necked lizard’s frill

Its peculiarity is that it has a wide collar of skin very well supported by cartilage, which expands when it senses danger. It serves them primarily as a defense mechanism. When opened, the attacker feels like it is in front of a much larger animal than expected.

Another role of its collar is to be a tool for storing solar heat and increasing body temperature. As with other cold-blooded lizards, their body temperature depends on the environment.

In the male this very interesting collar is larger; it can have a radius of 10-25 cm. Its color is yellow, reddish, orange, or brown, depending on the temperature of the environment where the animal stood, how much blood was pumped through its skin, and its stress level.

It also plays an important role in attracting females and fighting rivals.

Cold-blooded creatures

Another purpose of the protruding collar is to regulate body temperature. In the morning, the lizard stays in the sun, and in case of severe overheating, it helps the lizard to cool down.

If this is not enough to scare the enemy, the frill-necked lizard can stand on two legs and run away, but instead of running with its tail between its legs, the dragon will let it hang in the back to confuse its attacker.

Facts about the frill-necked lizard

The frill-necked lizard is one of the most common dragon lizards in Australia.

Its dimensions reach 85 cm and it weighs between 800 and 900 g,

They open their mouth and collar when threatened.

The distinctive feature is the presence of a wide skin “collar” that expands when the lizard feels threatened.

When the babies come out of the nest, they are immediately able to display the front collar, completely.

A frill-necked lizard has a painful bite, produced by the two teeth-like fangs on the lower jaw.

When it runs, it gets up and runs on its hind legs, while using the tail for stabilization. In most cases, it runs to the nearest tree.

The frilled dragon is insectivorous and eats, in principle, small invertebrates.

Chlamydosaurus Kingi does not adapt very well in captivity.

This lizard spends most of its time resting.

The average life expectancy is 12 years.

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jesusatmysix2-allgodspennies · 2 years

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Watch "Vicious Clap Back To Man Who Brags About Having 30 Kids! #shorts" on YouTube

Niggas is playing cheap.... Suave, debonair wit the white chicks, but in all you just a creep. All you young niggas wanna battle me. Cause my truth is, you try'in to change the face of reality. And it may take twenty years to surface your mistake. By then my nigga, it's gonna be too late. Leaving sister behind to raise little boys, but today! It don't even matter! You too damn pathetic to teach your son how to climb The Ladder. White and tasty, quick on the dick. I'm trying to tell you nigga, the shit is a trick.

Tell you what prompted this post:

Riding the bus last night, this white(she)/black(he) couple got on the bus. Nice looking couple. But almost immediately this cunt gave off the vibe of, "look at me, Im the shit and with the finest nigga in town." Dude had one of those baby girl faces, about 6'4".

I never really looked directly at them. But I can watch four different directions at one time. And almost immediately she spotted me. So, before they could even sit down, she leans towards him and lets him know my presence. He glances, and they sit. The bitch sit directly in front of me. So, she spent her entire ride encased in her self righteous vanity thinking that I'm watching her. You know I tend to think out loud, "bitch grow up!" So, her posture becomes indignant and she shifts towards her left.

What got me though was this asshole young whigger. He's not paying any attention to me or this catty bitch. But when they went to get off. Dude looks down at me, "hghh!" I never looked at or acknowledge his presence.

Ive said it before, and I reiterate..... "Black males here in Maricopa County who are ashamed of their colour, believe they can change the dynamics of white acceptance by making mulatto babies. I've heard them speaking on it for years. In the same regard, whites are grabbing opportunity to create a more acceptable black race." I stand on my convictions!

1. I've never said or written anything against black and white couples. What I have said, is the shit that's going on here is "TRENDING", and love ain't got shit to do with it. These niggas know, these white whoes will suck a dick quicker than a black woman. Plus, they like being Mommied!

2. For decades I've been listening to black males talk and preach about black people being God's chosen race. So, why are you same spineless ass black males trying to change the dynamics of God's divine order?

3. When they see while with their black spineless whigger, white whoes try to rub their arrogant smelly shit in my face. Bitches! A whore is a whore! I don't have a rats ass if you go to New York and lick salt from a kangaroos ass in Macy's window for the world to see. These black mfr's that lay up with y'all and y'all's EBT cards are mfr's that don't no real sister wants. All y'all dumbasses are is ghetto rubbish removal. Love Ain't Got Shit To Do With It! Enjoy sucking that dick! Enjoy eating that build up underneath the foreskin of that white clit BRO!

Good luck in the future!

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scandalousadventures · 4 years

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Please just take this

#pathologic #artemy burakh #category: things i make alone in my room laughing to myself #i like how this is formatting in the post preview because its very ''scroll for a surprise''#off topic but i love artemy's stomach pocket #*climbs in and sits there like a baby kangaroo*

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chickensarentcheap · 3 years

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Never Gonna Be Alone -Chapter 26

Title: Preparations

Warning: it’s filler. I figured we needed some cute daddy Tyler. lol

Tagging: @c-a-v-a-l-r-y, @innerpaperexpertcloud, @alievans007, @miss-smutty, @tragiclyhip

“When you met mumma, you guys were working together, right?”

Addie poses the question as she sits atop the kitchen island; legs swinging back and forth as they dangle over the edge, the heels of silver and gold glitter infused jelly sandals lightly thumping against the wood. She insisted on bringing one of her favourite pairs of shoes from home; arguing that she didn’t care that they were ‘out of season’ and that she would wear what she wants, when she wants, and no one could tell her otherwise. In the end they’d gone perfectly with the new ‘Christmas’ dress she’d picked out Bloomingdales; a vibrant yellow concoction with capped sleeves embellished with strips of lace, a sash around the waist that ties in an enormous bow at the back, and an elaborate tulle skirt several layers thick that shimmers in the light. Forgoing all the burgundy, emerald green, and red dresses that had lined the regular priced racks in favour of an outfit from the leftover and highly discounted summer section. It was a hill Esme hadn't been willing to die on; preferring that Addie showcase both her independence in choosing her own outfit, and being proud of her personal style and preferences. And it suits her; as bright and adorable as her personality with just enough ‘no fucks given’ sprinkled on for good measure.

While tiny and seemingly fragile, she can be extremely assertive and adverse to any form of compromise; tenacious to a fault and digging her heels in and sticking to her guns when she feels she’s one hundred right about her stance. Even if there’s mountains of proof to show that she is, in fact, completely wrong. Someone so stubborn and feisty lingering inside that cute, wee package; able to hold her own while out playing with her older siblings and not afraid to get a bloody nose or a fat lip or a black eye. And not deterred in the slightest when she DOES get injured; right back to what she was doing only hours after getting stitches or a cast removed. Not shying away from climbing trees or splashing in mud puddles or helping muck out the goats stalls while wearing clunky rubber boots paired with a Disney princess dress. Very much like her older sister had been at that age; enjoying being physical and active and playing sports and rough housing one minute, then showcasing her more ‘girly side’ the next. Loving trips to the salon with mummy for manis and pedis; enjoying picking her own shade of polish and then getting to sip orange juice from a champagne glass while getting a facial and her hair trimmed. Collecting dolls along with various rocks and shells and beach glass. Superhero figures taking up residence on her bedroom shelves right alongside stuffies of her favourite animals -koalas, sloths, and kangaroos currently at the top of the list- and snow globes from different parts of the world. Her closet filled with not only frilly dresses and sparkly leggings and colourful sweaters emblazoned with unicorns and french bulldogs and flamingos, but old hand me downs from her brothers; ripped and faded jeans and tattered t-shirts and board shorts.

“Right,” Tyler confirms, as he tends to running a brush through her waist length hair; damp from misting it down with a spray bottle in order to easier part it into sections.

It’s a far cry from his old life; his beaten and busted up hands with their multitude of scars and calluses once used to being soaked in blood and caked with dirt. Large and weathered with misshapen knuckles, they’d long ago gotten accustomed to hard, manual labour and the brutality that he’d had to inflict on others; fists that pummelled bodies and faces and fingers that pulled triggers and wrapped around throats and choked the life out of combatants. And while they still get caked in mud from working around the house and they’re still entrusted to load magazines and are capable of taking a gun apart in thirteen seconds flat, they’ve morphed into other uses. Beginning with diapering babies and tending to the impossibly tiny snaps on jumpers, buttons on little sweaters, and zippers on sleepers. Moving on to tying kid sized shoe laces and cleaning and patching up skinned knees and elbows. Advancing to far more difficult hair styling techniques than the simple ponytails he’d began affixing on Millie when she was a toddler; various styles of braids adorned with ribbons, and snapping barrettes and clamping clips into place.

Being a girl dad is unlike anything he’d ever experienced before. The six short years -despite the little time he’d actually been home- he’d spent with Austin had prepared him for raising boys. His son, when healthy, had been extremely active and fearless and full of curiosity and energy; getting as messy and as dirty as possible and loving every second of it. Obsessed with superheroes and sports and always clad in clothing that displayed his favourites; football jerseys and baseball caps and sweats emblazoned with Superman or Batman logos. He had been terrified twelve years ago when the news had come in that Millie was in fact going to be a girl; not only envisioning frilly dresses and a closet full of pink and those ridiculous headbands parents insist on putting on their infants, but thinking back to his own treatment of women. The days when he’d used them for nothing more than sex; random strangers picked up in bars or that he’d meet on the street in whatever city a job sent him to. A failed marriage; putting more of a priority on the military than he did on treating his wife properly. And all he could think about was how having a daughter was somehow a punishment for the bad shit he’d done. A little girl that he’d have to protect from guys like him.

It was hard to get used to; big fingers having to master putting in tiny earrings and tending to impossibly small zippers and buttons , getting comfortable with the amount of pink and purple in their rooms and closets. Eventually graduating into attending tea parties and playing with Barbies and helping make crafts; getting used to paint on his palms and between his fingers and glitter stuck under his nails and in his hair and beard. Determined to be a hands-on father even if its activities are way outside of his comfort zone; gymnastic meets and dance recitals as opposed to lacrosse matches and football games. Being a girl dad isn’t for the weak; having to worry about your little girls’ hearts being broken and if the guys they pick will treat them right and if they themselves will make smart and responsible choices as teenagers. And the hormones; the up and down emotions and the drastic switch from bitchy to overly sensitive. Having a wife go through it once a month is enough. never mind the thought of three other girls. The worry of how he’ll handle not only the emergence of puberty, but if all four female ‘clocks’ decide to sync up. He doesn’t know if he’ll be able to handle THAT; all the women in his life going through the cramps and the moodiness and the demands to be coddled and babied one minute and left the fuck alone the next.

“Does that mean mummy beat up and killed bad guys too?”

“No. She never did any of that stuff. That was my job, not hers.”

“What did she do?”

“She tracked down the bad guys. And where they were doing mean things to good people. Then she told me...or guys like me...where they were so we could go and take care of things.”

“So you could go and kill them?”

“You don’t always have to kill people. Sometimes it’s enough to just rough them up a bit.”

“And other times they fight back and try to hurt you and you have to hurt them first?”

“Pretty much.”

“Have you killed a lot of people?”

“Not that many," he lies. It's actually a staggering amount; the death toll -from his hand alone- in Dhaka putting the count well over three hundred.

“How many is ‘not that many'?’”

“I don’t know, Peanut. I’ve never kept track.”

“But you’ve helped more people than you’ve hurt. That’s what mummy said when I asked if it was true. If Tyler was lying when he told me you kill people for a living.”

“That’s a while ago. That you asked mummy that.”

“I was three. That’s a whole two years ago. But sometimes I think about it. Especially when you go away. I think about you having to kill people.”

“And what do you think WHEN you think about that? About what I sometimes have to do?”

“I dunno know,” Addie shrugs, and then lifts the spray bottle clutched in both hands and holds it towards her face; giggling when she pulls the trigger and catches some of the mist in her mouth.

“Does it bother you? When you think about it? That I’ve killed people? That sometimes I still have to?”

“Why would it bother me?”

“Kind of a hard thing to hear, don’t you think? That daddy has to do stuff like that?”

“It’s your job. It’s what you do. You have to hurt people to save other people. And sometimes, if they try and hurt you first, you have to kill them. Because if you didn’t, they might kill you and then you never come home and we never get to see you again. It’s not THAT hard to hear. I’d rather you kill someone and come home than never see you again.”

“You know,” he plucks the spray bottle from her hands and dampens a section of hair. “You’re pretty smart for only five.”

“Smart like mummy.”

He leans in to press a kiss to her cheek. “Cute like her too.”

“Are you going to get in trouble? For killing people?”

“Who would I get in trouble with?”

“God. Isn’t that one of the things we’re not supposed to do? Kill people?”

“How do you know about that? We don’t talk about that stuff at home.”

“I hear things. At school. Some of the older kids talking. Are you? Going to get in trouble? For killing people?”

“Probably,” he admits. “I’m sure I’ll face some kind of judgement for it. When my time comes.”

“But wouldn’t it be okay ‘cause you only kill bad people? That were hurting good people? Wouldn’t that be allowed? And if you had to kill someone so you could come home to us, wouldn’t that be okay too?”

“I don’t know,” he snags a yellow cloth ribbon off the island and begins braiding a section of hair around it. “I’ve never thought that far ahead about things.”

“It would suck if you got in trouble for helping people. That wouldn’t be fair at all. If you got sent to hell for doing stuff like that. I mean, you were doing something GOOD. You weren’t doing something bad. You HAD to kill evil people to help good people. And to make sure you come home to mummy and us kids. I can’t see you getting in trouble for something like THAT.”

“Doesn’t make much sense to me either. But not a lot does anymore.”

“I’ll be really mad if you get in trouble and sent somewhere different than me. I don’t want us to be in two separate places. I want us to be together. All of us. You and mummy and all us kids. I don’t want us to all be separated. Well, maybe Millie could be. Because she’s mean to me. All the time.”

“Millie is going through some stuff. She’s going to be a teenager soon. A lot of drama leading up to THAT.”

“She says I’m annoying. That she used to really like me when I was a baby and couldn’t do anything. But now I can do lots of stuff and I can talk and she says that pisses her off. That I’m a bratty little sister.”

“You are NOT bratty.”

“Right? That’s what I said. She’s bratty if anything. Am I annoying, daddy? Don’t lie. You can tell me the truth.”

“You are not annoying. If anyone is annoying, it’s Millie.”

“I said THAT too! But she’s mean. She even threatened to cut my hair off. Shave it. Because I couldn’t find my brush and I borrowed hers and she didn’t like that. So you know what I did? While you were gone?”

“What did you do?”

“I took the tops off two Oreo cookies and I ate the middle and then I put in mayonnaise and I put the tops back on and gave them to Millie. I told her I was being a good little sister and bringing her a snack. And she put a whole one in her mouth! She almost puked!”

He can’t help but chuckle. “You actually did that?”

“Yup. It was awesome. I laughed so hard, I almost peed! But then she started chasing me around the house threatening to kill me. Mummy was screaming at her to lighten up, that it was just a joke. And then she told mummy to shut up and Tyler got mad. REALLY mad. He tackled Millie and grabbed her by the hair and pushed her face into the carpet. Then he put her in a figure four leg lock and made her cry.”

“Millie told your mom to shut up?”

“Oooops…” Addie tilts her head back to look at him, a sheepish smile curving her lips. “....I wasn’t supposed to tell you that part.”

“Who told you not to tell me? Millie?”

The five year old shakes her head.

“TJ?”

Another shake, followed by a tiny “No.”

“Addie…”

“It was mummy! She said not to tell you because you’d get pissed off and you didn’t need to. Because she took care of it right when it happened. Well, Tyler did. He was really, really, REALLY mad. She learned her lesson. I’m sure of it. He made her cry. Lots.”

“Did that happen a lot? Millie getting mouthy with your mom?”

“Not really.”

He stares pointedly down at her.

“A few times,” she reluctantly admits. “She said some things that were really mean. To mummy. And she said the F word once, too. Mixed with the B word.”

“She said that ? To your mom?”

Addie chews nervously on her bottom lip. “Yeah, she called her an f-ing B word.”

“What did mummy do?”

“She didn’t get a chance to do anything. Desi freaked out. And he’s really big and he can be really scary when he wants. Like you. Desi told her that she should never, ever talk to her mum like that. And that you’d be really mad if you found out. And that she’d rather deal with him than you. Which is true. Desi might be bigger than you, but you’re definitely tougher. I mean, he doesn’t kill people for a living. You do.”

“Things were pretty bad, huh? While I was gone.”

“A little. Millie went off the reservation. Big time. She’s lucky she’s even breathing. ‘Cause Tyler was ready to kill her. And I don’t blame him. You’re mad, aren’t you. Are you mad, daddy?”

“A bit.”

“You know how I can tell? That you’re mad? Your neck moves. Right here,” she reaches up to press to fingertips against the side of his throat. “Where the bad guy shot you a long time ago.”

“How did you know about that?”

“Mummy told me. I asked her how you got that scar. She said that a long time ago, her and Ovi were in trouble and you had to get them out of a really bad place. And then you made sure they were safe and sound, but a bad guy shot you. In the neck. And that’s why you have the scar there.”

“Did that scare you? Hearing that?”

“A little, I guess. I mean, you could have died, right?”

“I could have, yeah.”

“And then you and mummy never would have gotten married. And had kids. Millie would be the only one to exist. None of us would. So yeah, that part scared me a bit; that the bad guy could have killed and none of us ever would have been born. Did you kill him?”

“Eventually.”

“Mummy said she stayed with you. After it happened. And that she went back to Australia with you and that’s how she ended up there. It’s where you guys got married. And had Millie and me and Kota and Brookie. That we were the ones born there. So we’re REAL Australians, like you. Everyone else is American.”

“Everyone else WAS American. You’re all Australian now.”

“How does that work?”

“A lot of papers you have to fill out. To become a citizen. But you all are. Mummy and I made sure of it.”

“Is mummy an Australian too?”

“By marriage, yeah.”

“It’s a good thing she married you. You’re a lucky guy, daddy. That someone like mummy fell in love with you.”

“I am,” he confirms. “Very lucky. She’s a pretty good mummy, huh?”

“She’s the best mummy EVER. If we could pick our mummies, I’d pick her. Because she’s nice and she gives good cuddles and kisses and she tells the best silly jokes. And she’s super smart and really cute too. And little! Like me!”

“That’s where you get from. Being so cute and wee. You’re just like your mumma.”

Her eyes sparkle as she smiles broadly up at him; the corners and the bridge of her nose crinkle. “And that’s a good thing, yeah?”

“A very good thing,” Dropping a kiss on her forehead, he brushes the tip of his nose against hers; smiling at the way she throws her head back and giggles.

He’s seen her mother do that exact movement and expression a number of times; excitement while on the rides at Disney World with the kids, when she’s had one too many glasses of wine and even his terrible ‘dad jokes’ are suddenly hilarious, when they’ve been on one of their ‘mommy and daddy’ vacations and she’s gotten up the guts to try something new and exciting; emboldened by his encouragement and forever feeling safe and secure as long as he’s by her side. So much of Esme in the tiny little girl in front of him; tenacious and ferociously intelligent and loving deeply and fearlessly. Knowing the darkness and the horrors that exist in the world but not allowing herself to be tarnished by it; always finding ways to smile and laugh and find the beauty in every day.

“What do you think mummy would have done if she didn’t do the job she did?” Addie inquires, when she finally drops her head back down and he’s able to return to tending her hair.

“I don’t know. Teach? Be a nurse? Maybe a doctor?”

“How would you have met her? If she didn’t do her old job?”

“Maybe I would have met her on the beach. In Australia. Maybe she would have come there on a vacation.”

“Maybe. Or maybe you would have gone to where she used to live. In Chicago.”

“She used to live in Colorado. That’s where she was born and where she grew up. Chicago is a totally different place.”

“She used to live by the mountains. When I was in her tummy, you guys lived on a hobby farm. And you had goats and chickens. Mummy says we still own that house.”

“Yup, we do. We rent it out.”

“Can we go there one day? I’d like to see it. I’d like to see where you guys were living when I was in mummy’s belly. Is that where I was made?”

“We’re pretty sure that’s where it happened. Not many other places it could have been.”

“Maybe we can go and visit. And I can see where I was made. That would be fun. I want to see the mountains.”

“Maybe one day.” He finishes up the first braided pigtail, securing it with an impossibly small elastic before turning his attention to the other section of hair.

“If you met mummy a different way, would you have still liked her? Would you have still fallen in love with her?”

“Yup. Why wouldn’t have I? She still would have been mummy. She still would have been the same person. Still would have been the most beautiful girl ever.”

“Do you think she still would have fallen in love with you?”

“I sure as hell hope so. Would sure suck if she didn’t. Your mumma is pretty special, Peanut. She’s the love of my life. Took me until I was thirty five to meet her.”

“You were married before, though. To Austin's mom. You didn’t love her?”

“I did. But not in the way I love your mum. Your mum? That’s who I want to spend the rest of my life with. Grow really, really, REALLY old with. It’s a whole other kind of love. And you know what? It’s not easy to explain. You just know what you feel.”

“Imagine if things were opposite? If you went to Colorado and met mummy instead of her meeting you in Australia and working with you? And then you would have stayed there; where the snow and the mountains are instead of the beach and the ocean. How come you moved? Why didn’t you guys stay? Where the mountains are?”

“Things changed. We weren’t happy there anymore. We needed to get away. Go back to the place where we were the happiest.”

“In Australia?”

“Yup.”

“That’s where I’m happiest too. I love it there. I love how warm it is; the sun and the sand and the water. I like the sound it makes; listening to it when I’m trying to fall asleep. And I like how the beach feels; between my toes and when I let it run through my fingers. And I love my room and my toys and my school and my friends and all the goats and our pigs and our chickens. And Charlie. I love him the most. I love making him peanut butter sandwiches. I’d miss him the most. If we had to leave. We won’t have to leave will we, daddy?”

“I don’t see why we would have to.”

“I don’t ever want to leave Australia. It’s perfect there. It’s where I was born. And where you were born too. We have that in common. We were BOTH born there.”

“Yeah…” he grins, and presses a kiss to the back of her head. “...we were.”

“I mean, we have other stuff in common too. Because you’re my dad and that means you helped make me so that means half of me is half of you. The other half is from mummy. And we both love surfing. And animals. And Vegemite. I LOVE Vegemite. It’s sooooo good.”

“Speaking of Vegemite, was it you that left the Vegemite and Nutella sandwich for Santa?”

Addie giggles. “Maybe…”

“Why would you ever put the two of those together?”

“Tyler made it for his school lunch once and he let me try a bit and it was really good! So I thought Santa might like to try it. Part American, part Australian.”

“You know, that’s pretty genius. And it worked. I tried a bit and it wasn’t bad.”

“Right?! You wouldn’t think it would work, but it does. Somehow. Kind of like you and mummy.”

“What’s THAT supposed to mean?”

“You and mummy are so different. You’re really tall and big and she’s really short and small. Like, you know how mummy is a morning person? She’s always really cheerful and smiley? And you’re not? You’re moody and miserable. A total grump face! And you don’t like to talk until you’ve had your first coffee. With three shots of espresso in it.”

“You notice all that stuff?”

“I notice everything. Mummy says I’m very observant. And that I have really good instincts. Like you. She says ‘cause my tummy tells me if something is right or wrong. And yours does too. You know how else you and mummy are different?”

“How?”

“Mummy talks to everyone! She’s very talky talky. A chatterbox.”

“Geez,” Tyler grins, and tugs playfully at the completed pigtail. “I wonder who ELSE is a chatterbox?”

“She’s a social butterfly. She makes friends everywhere she goes. People like her. Because she’s so bubbly and cute and she makes peoples hearts feel warm because she’s so nice to them. You’re more serious. You don’t talk a lot. At least not to people you don’t know. People are scared of you sometimes. Because how big you are and because you got all the drawings on you and the scars and stuff. They think you’re mean. ‘Cause of all that.”

“And what do you think?”

“I think you’re just daddy. I KNOW you’re not mean. I KNOW you’re a nice guy. I KNOW you give awesome hugs; your arms are big but they feel nice and they wrap all the way around me! If people really paid attention, they’d see that you’re nice. You have soft eyes. They’re blue and they’re pretty and they’re kind. Especially when you smile and they go all crinkly. If people really gave you a chance, they’d see you’re not scary at all. You’re only like that if you HAVE to be. If bad people are near mummy or us kids.”

“Are you ever scared of me?” It’s a recurring thought; if his children ever pick up on the worry and the tension and the fear that comes with his issues. It’s a feat some days; forcing himself out of bed and putting one foot in front of the other. Wanting nothing more than to stay under the covers and surrender to the exhaustion that comes with doing battle with his own mind every day. But his family is his number one priority, whether it’s a good day or a horrible one. And he’ll ‘fake it until he makes it’ as long as his children and his wife know that they’re loved; provided and cared for and made to feel safe and protected.

“Why would I be? Why would I be scared of my daddy?”

“Well, you know what I do for a living. You know what I’ve had to do to people. Does that scare you?”

“Nope. Because that’s just your job. It’s not who you are. When you come home, you’re just daddy. You take us bike riding and hiking and swimming and surfing. And you help us find rocks and shells and you let me sit on your shoulders when we walk on the beach or go into town. And we take naps. On the hammock. I love our naps on the hammock.”

He smiles. “So do I.”

“Sometimes I get a little worried. When you get upset. Or you and mummy argue. I don’t like when you guys argue. I always worry that you’ll hate each other. That you’ll get a divorce. And then you won’t live with us. It makes me sad when I think about that.”

“You don’t need to be sad, Peanut. That’s never going to happen. I’m never going to go and live somewhere else. I’m going to stay right where I am; with you guys and your mumma. And just because we argue? That doesn’t mean we’re going to hate each other. I could NEVER hate your mum. And I’m pretty sure she’d say the same thing about me. We love each other. Very much. Divorce is NOT something you need to think about. But do I ever scare you? Have I ever?”

“I don’t have a reason to be scared of you. Because you love me. You’d never hurt me. I never worry about that. Not even when you yell and your voice gets REALLY loud. I know you’d never do anything mean to me. Just to bad people. And I’m not a person. I’m a GOOD person.”

“You definitely are. You’re a VERY good person. An amazing little person.”

She smiles. “Like mummy.”

“Just like her. More than even I ever realized.”

******

“Addie…” TJ singsongs as he saunters into the kitchen, both hands tucked behind his back. “...what are you doing?”

“Tyler!” She cheerfully greets, and excitedly waves to him with both hands. Her entire face lighting up at the sight of her second favourite male in the house

She’s become extremely close to her oldest brother during her five years on earth; idolizing him and turning to him for help and comfort when daddy is either caught up with one of the other kids, tending to work related matters, or out of the house -and sometimes even the country- all together. And TJ dotes on her in return. Spoiling her and babying her ever since she was an infant and he was always more than willing to help change her diapers and give her feedings. In awe of how tiny she was and how she’d look up at him with so much adoration. He’s the quintessential older brother; patient and loving and ready to kick anyone’s ass that dares messes with her.

“Look at my dress! It’s the one I picked out when I went shopping for mommy. That I kept a secret. Isn’t it awesome?”

“Awesome just like you. It’s really pretty, Ads. Your favourite colour too!”

“Yup! Mummy bought it for me. She said it’s perfect for me. For my personality. It reminds me of Belle’s dress. From Beauty and the Beast.”

“Looks a little like it, I guess. But you know what? It’s even prettier. And you’re more beautiful than Belle. WAY more beautiful.”

“Really?” she gasps, and a noticeable blush creeps into her cheeks, spreading all the way to the tips of her ears. “You really think so?”

“I REALLY think so. Belle has nothing on you. You’re the prettiest princess EVER. Way prettier than ANY of them.”

“Oh goodness!” She clamps both hands over her mouth in embarrassment, then giggles into them. “Like mumma? Just as pretty as her? Mumma is the prettiest EVER.”

“Just a smaller version of her.” TJ leans in close and presses the tip of his nose against hers. “Guess what I have? What you forgot in my room?”

“Adeline!” she cries, when he reveals the item he’d been keeping behind his back. And she snags the doll from him and showers its head and face with kisses as she clutches it tightly to her chest. “Adeline! I’m sorry I forgot you! I didn’t mean to!”

“I kept her safe for you,” TJ says. “So Declan wouldn’t grab her. You know how he likes to get a hold of dolls and torture them. I didn’t want him getting her. She’s way too pretty and I know how much you love her.”

“He’s mean to my dolls! He’s always taking their heads off and putting their arms where their legs should be and crazy shit like that.”

“Hey,” Tyler frowns, and tugs on the half braided pigtail. “What did I say?”

“No bad language. Especially on Christmas Day. I can’t help it though; sometimes it just slips out. If you didn’t swear so much around us kids…”

“That’s it. Throw me under the bus.”

“You swear A LOT, daddy. Especially in the car. When other people don’t drive fast enough or use their blinkers. If mummy knew exactly how much you DO swear around us, she’d be mad. REALLY mad.”

“Your mum has a worse mouth than I do.”

“As if!” Addie scoffs, and he can’t help but smile; easily hearing Esme’s voice and picturing the expression on her face; the corner up her mouth and her nose scrunched up in disgust, eyes slightly narrowed. “Thank you, Tyler!” She curls an arm around her brother’s neck, squeezing as tight as she can. “You’re the best! Thank you for keeping her safe from the Ginger. You’re the best brother EVER! I only trust you with her. And daddy. That’s it. You guys are big and strong and will keep her safe no matter what.”

“What the hell are you wearing?” He addresses his son as the latter moves to the fridge, pausing in the braiding of Addie’s hair to survey TJ’s wardrobe a pair of ill fitting and impossibly baggy jeans, an enormous untucked dress shirt with its sleeves rolled to his elbows, and a loose pink, purple, and grey striped tie.

“Your pants. And one of your shirts.” TJ reaches into the fridge and grabs a carton of chocolate milk and a jug of white. Closing the door with his hip and carrying them to the counter by the sink; pouring a mix of both into a plastic tumblr retrieved from the dish rack and then snagging two straws from the cupboard. “Mum told me to. She said none of my clothes were good enough for Christmas dinner. All my jeans have holes in them and all t-shirts have to do with surfing. We’ve never had to dress up for Christmas dinner before. Why do we have to start now?”

“Your mum’s trying to make things perfect. To avoid drama. With your grandmother.”

“Too late. Grandma brings drama with her. And drops it on everyone else.” He drags a bar stool across the floor and places it in front of his little sister. “Here Ads,” he holds the cup in front of her. “A yellow straw just for you. So you don’t have to share my germs. Let me hold it; so you don’t spill anything on your dress.”

Giving a delighted squeal and a smile of appreciation, she takes a pull from the straw. “I think you look handsome, Tyler. You’re growing up. You’re going to be as big as daddy soon.”

“It’s going to be a while before I’m THAT big. But I’m going to work on it. As soon as I’m allowed, I’m going to lift heavy too and put on ALL kinds of muscle.”

“Then you can go after bad people too. And beat them up and kill them when you have to.”

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” Tyler suggests. “Something tells me mummy might have an issue with that.”

“Why doesn’t mum just tell grandma to get lost?” TJ inquires. “It’s not like they like each other. They never have. They’ve always fought. I remember how they’d get into it at Christmas. When we were still living in Colorado. Grandma would get drunk and she’d pick fights with mum and mum would fight back and cry and then you’d go off on grandma. Is that going to happen this year? ‘Cause it’s been nice and quiet at Christmas. Do we HAVE to listen to grandma's shit?”

“What did I just tell your sister? About the language?”

“She’s five, but she’s right. It IS hard to stop and it does just come out. But do we, dad? Do we really have to put up with her?”

“It’s one night. I think you can manage. If I can grin and bear it, so can you. Suck it up.”

“If she starts in on mum about ANYTHING, I’m going to lose it. That’s my mum. No one talks to my mum like that. I almost taught Jacobi a lesson. For calling mum cute and wanting to ask her out. I’ll teach grandma a lesson too. I’m not afraid of her.”

“If anyone is going to teach her a lesson, it’s going to be me. You stay out of it. Your mum wouldn’t want you getting into it with her. You’re TEN.”

“Doesn’t matter how old I am. That’s MY mum. And no one is going to treat her bad. We’re supposed to protect her, remember? You and I.”

“You’re supposed to be a kid and stay that way as long as you can. I’M supposed to protect your mom. And I think I’ve been pretty damn good at it for the last twelve and a half years. And if your grandma starts? I’ll stop it. You don’t have to worry about that.”

“Why does she hate you so much anyway? Is it still the same crap? How she’s pissed because you stole mum away from her family and moved her all the way to Australia? ‘Cause you got her pregnant before you married her?”

Addie scowls. “Who cares? Lots of people have babies and they aren’t married. And so what if mummy didn’t go back home and she stayed with daddy? She’s an adult. She can do what she wants. And she wanted to be with daddy. None of grandma’s business. I’mma tell her that too. If she starts saying mean things about daddy or mummy. I’mma tell her what for.”

“You’re not going to do a thing,” Tyler informs her. “You’re going to leave all the telling off to me, got it?”

“I don’t like her,” Addie says. “She’s not a nice person. She has a mean smile. And her eyes are empty. They don’t sparkle or anything like that. Are you sure that’s mummy’s mummy? Because when mummy smiles, her eyes sparkle. She LOOKS happy. Grandma? She just looks mean.”

“No one likes her,” TJ grumbles. “Best thing we ever did was get away from her. But IS that why, dad? Is that really why she doesn’t like you? Because she still thinks you stole mum and took her all the way to Australia?”

“It’s a few things.”

“I bet it’s the job too. I bet she really has a problem with THAT.”

“Again…” Addie huffs dramatically. “...who cares? So what if daddy kills people? They’re BAD. They deserve it. He helps good people and sometimes when he’s helping them, he has to kill the bad guys. I don’t see a problem with that. If they try and hurt him or kill him, he HAS to kill them first. So he can come home. To us. And mummy. It only makes sense.”

“If Ads can get it, ANYONE can,” TJ says. “She’s only five. What’s grandma? A hundred? If a five year old can get it…”

“Daddy makes the world a better place because he gets rid of the bad people,” Addie continues, as she takes another sip of the drink her brother offers her. “If we had less bad people, everything would be great. There’d be less wars and less people getting hurt and everyone would love one another and be happy. Daddy’s doing a good thing. By sticking up for people. Like you do. At school. You beat up the bullies when you have to. Remember the older kid that tripped me and shoved my face in the mud? Remember him? He’s in grade eight AND you kicked the crap out of me. Because he picked on me.”

“You’re my sister. It’s my job to protect you.”

“And remember that other guy? On the playground by mummy’s store? The one that pulled my hair and told me I was adopted because I’m small and I don’t look like any of you guys. You freaked out on him and made him apologize and scared him away. He’ll cross the street now if he sees you coming.”

“You can’t let bad people get away with doing bad things,” TJ reasons. “If you don’t stop them, they’ll just keep doing bad stuff.”

“Exactly! So it’s a good thing that daddy goes after the bad guys. Grandma needs to learn. And she needs to learn TODAY. You should tell her, Tyler. You should tell her off. You’re not scared of anyone.”

“Not being scared of anyone or anything is not always a good thing,” Tyler informs her. “If you’re not scared, you don’t take a situation or people seriously. That’s when you get hurt. And you know what? No matter how big of a bad ass you think you are? There’s always a bigger one out there somewhere. Believe me. I’ve learned THAT lesson the hard way.”

“The guy who shot you just got a lucky one in,” TJ reasons. “You were already hurt. You weren’t one hundred percent. Some guy had already shot you, hadn’t he? A sniper?”

“What’s a sniper?” Addie inquires. “Is it like Swipper on Dora? Something like him?”

“We don’t need to talk about that,” Tyler says. “You don’t need to know that stuff. Not until you’re older. WAY older.”

“A sniper’s a guy that hides somewhere and shoots you,” TJ replies. “Somewhere where no one sees him. It’s why they’re so dangerous. You don’t even know where they are. They just shoot you. And they kill you before you even know what happened.”

“But daddy didn’t get killed. If a sniper shot daddy, shouldn’t he be dead?”

Combing his hand through her bangs, Tyler tips his daughter’s head back. “What did I just say? About you not needing to know about this stuff?”

“I’m curious now. Tyler said they hide and shoot people and kill them. How come you didn’t die? If a sniper shot you?”

“I guess he didn’t manage to get a good shot in.”

“It was the other guy that almost killed him,” TJ says, and takes a sip of the concoction in his hand. “The one that got him in the neck. That’s when he almost died. Mum saved him.”

“How? How did mummy save daddy? Daddy…” she swivels around in her stool to face him. “...how did mummy save you? Did she shoot the bad guy back?”

“Mum stuck her fingers in his neck,” TJ says. “To stop the bleeding. Or he would have bled to death.”

Addie’s eyes widen. “She DID?”

“When you’re older, MAYBE I’ll tell you more more about it. But for now…” Tyler places his hands on her shoulders and gently turns her back around. “...you don’t need to know this stuff. And you…” he stares pointedly at his son. “...don’t talk about this around her. She doesn’t need to know about this. She’s a baby still.”

“I’m not a baby!” Addie objects. “I’m five! I can almost ride my bike without training wheels. Babies can’t do that.”

“Just don’t, alright?” He addresses TJ. “Don’t talk about this stuff around her. Because she’s going to repeat all of this and she’s going to repeat it to your mum and that won’t end well. For you OR me.”

“It happened though. I mean, it’s part of how you guys met and got together and ended up getting married and stuff. It’s your history. I don’t see why…”

“I said ENOUGH. No more. Not around her. Got it?” He’s on edge; the mere mention of Dhaka and the incidents on the bridge playing straight into the anxiety and the panic he’d felt the night before; when he’d woken up from the nightmare and been on the verge of losing control and had turned to the fentanyl for relief. And it scares him; how easy it had been to not only access the powerful med, but actually take it. He’d encountered no resistance or hesitation; remorse and guilt not setting in until the following morning when he’d woken up and it had been the first thing on his mind. It’s alarming how quick things can return; an addict’s mind and behaviour.

Nodding, TJ holds his hands up in surrender.

“You’re both going to be nice tonight,” he says, and finishes Addie’s final braid. “To grandma. Because your mum is already stressed out enough and we don’t need to make it worse for her. So if the best you can do is smile and nod, just do that. I’m not asking you to kiss her ass. I’m just asking you to be civil. Can you handle that?”

TJ nods.

“You?” He tugs on one of Addie’s pigtails. “Can you do that? Be civil?”

“Do I have to be near her? Or sit on her lap? ‘Cause I draw the line there.”

“You don’t have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. Just don’t be a little asshole, alright?”

“Me? I’m Mary Freaking Sunshine, remember? That’s what Grandpa Koen calls me.”

“Well then live up to it and be nice to your grandmother. Smile until your face hurts, got it?”

“What do I get out of it?”

He smirks.

“Mummy says to always negotiate. Never settle for the first offer. Can I sleep in the big bed tonight? For being nice to grandma?”

“No.” Wrapping an arm around her waist, he lifts her off the stool; pressing a kiss to her cheek before setting her on the ground.

She turns to face him. Head cocked to the side and one hand clutching her doll, the other planted firmly on her hip. “Can I have ice cream for my bedtime snack?”

"Maybe."

“Maybe isn’t good enough.”

“You ARE just like your mom, aren’t you.”

“I’ll be nice if I can have ice cream for my bedtime snack and you snuggle with me and draw on my back for half an hour. And that’s after FOUR stories.”

“You're bossy, you know that? Two stories.”

“Three. That’s as low as I’ll go.”

“I will give you two stories, ice cream for your snack, and forty five minutes of snuggling and drawing on your back. Instead of half an hour. We got a deal?”

Her eyes narrow as she considers it; nibbling on her bottom lip and swishing her hips back and forth. “You’re good at this.”

“This isn’t my first rodeo, Peanut. I’ve dealt with tougher than you. What do you say?” He offers a hand. “Deal?”

“Deal!” she agrees, his hand easily swallowing hers as they shake on it.

Grinning, he runs a hand over the top of her head and then drops a kiss on her hair. “You really DO have a lot of your mum in you.”

“Great things come in small packages,” Addie reasons, standing on her tiptoes as he leans down and pecks her lips. “Thank you, daddy!” she chirps. “My hair looks beautiful. You always do it perfect.”

“Pretty hard not to when my subject is so cute. Good thing I married your mum, huh? So I could have a kid as cute as you?”

“You really are a lucky man!” she declares and then cheerfully skips out of the room.

“I hope grandma is on her best behaviour,” TJ says, as he finishes the drink in his hand and then slides off the stool and returns it to its place at the island. “Because if she DOES start on mum, it’s going to be a wild night. I really hope she watches her step.”

“My too, kiddo,” Tyler sighs, and reaches out to tousle his son’s hair. “Me too.”

#Tyler Rake #Tyler Rake fan fiction #Extraction fan fiction

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a-la-la-llama · 4 years

Text

The One Where Marinette Gets Attacked #4

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 5

Cloud nine was where Marinette was currently residing after leaving the flower shop. The owner, Pamela, with the most vibrant red hair she had ever seen had wanted Marinette to work with her. Even though she now had a million problems on her hands with the school situation, she couldn’t fight the smile on her face. Maybe this wasn’t the most professional way to get a job but she went along with how Pamela was acting so it couldn’t be that bad. Tikki seemed to be on the same page as her because she could feel a hum of excitement on her thigh.

“How about we eat out for lunch instead of going home? I haven’t actually been out in the city since we have gotten here?”, she said out loud. Even though surrounded by people, no one gave a second glance at her antics. Having only traveled the city by rooftops and eating take-out made Marinette foreign still, even having stayed there for more than a year. Turning a corner to a cafe she had passed, Marinette waited in a short line. Walking up to the counter, the worker feigned a fake smile.

“Welcome to Caffeine Café, what could I get you today?”, the woman asked.

Marinette was given a strange look with the amount of caffeine she ordered but brushed it off. Settling into a corner booth with her tuna sandwich, she patiently waited for her name to be called by looking out the window.

Usually when she would look out her apartment window Gotham always appeared grey and gloomy. Right now, Marinette felt the warmth of the sun partially covered by a cloud on her skin. It must be Tikki’s doing. Sneaking a glance at the Kwami while grabbing her phone, Marinette was able to see Tikki happily snacking on the cookie she had packed.

“It’s a nice day, how does a trip to the park sound?”, Marinette asked.

Tikki silently nodded in agreement before returning to her meal as did Marinette.

Gotham had reminded Marinette much like they had depicted New York City in movies. It had a large park that included the famous Poison Ivy Botanical Gardens and that was open to the public like Central Park. Marinette decided going somewhere secluded was the best option due to Tikki wanting to be out. Even though she was tiny did not mean the god didn’t get cramped being in her purse.

“We could climb that hill, Tikki. It has a tree on top that we could sit under too!”, she suggested.

“Brilliant spot, my chosen. We’ll be able to have a great view and you could put the new sketchbook to use!”, Tikki cheered.

Marinette really should have been on guard out in the open all alone but something about the peacefulness of nature put her off guard. Any other time and she would have seen the attacker from behind coming. Any other time Marinette would have been able to swiftly dodge and apprehend them. Any other time but not this time. This time something tackled her to the ground just eight feet away from the top of the hill. Now, just because she was blindsided didn’t mean Marinette couldn’t swiftly recover. Tucking into a roll, she was able to end the fall squatted low on her feet instead of face planting on the floor. She was facing where her attacker should have been standing fully ready for a fight.

There was no one there.

Well, no one until she felt something wet brush the left side of her face. Turning towards the source she was met with the sight of a black Great Dane towering over her. She realized it was the one she had seen when working with Catwoman. Eye-contact with the animal was not her best choice because Marinette soon found herself rolling down the hill. Marinette couldn’t tell if it wanted to play or just recognized her since it continued to lick her face when they stopped at the bottom of the hill.

“Hello there, buddy. It’s nice to see you too!”, she said, sitting up gently scratching its head.

“Marinette! Are you okay? Are you hurt anywhere? Should I get Kaalki? We can-“, Tikki worrily pestered Marinette.

“I’m fine, Tikki. Titus just got a little excited!”, she soothed the god while reading the dog's name tag.

“You need to be more alert, Marinette! It could have been someone really dangerous. Plagg will certainly come with you next time once he hears about this!”, Tikki scolded.

“Calm down, Tikki. No one is even here besides me and this good boy. Aren’t you a good boy!”, Marinette cooed.

“His owner doesn’t seem to be here. What do you plan to do?”, the Kwami questioned.

“The dog is from that house we visited with Catwoman, Tikki. I think that’s why it ran up to me. Or it could be your magic since we do have pigeons circling above us?”, Marinette said.

“Then it would be best if you return him home without coming in contact with his owners.”, suggested Tikki.

“Right! We’ll have to cut this outing short and go get Kaalki. How does that sound Titus?”, Marinette asked the dog.

It let out a bark in agreement. Well to everyone else it sounded like a bark. She would never get used to the whole animals and plants talking to her thing. Standing up Marinette, Titus, and Tikki made their way back to her apartment. Titus even followed her up the stairs. It wouldn’t be surprising the dog was able to maneuver up the small steps with the mansion it lived in. Titus would have to have experience!

“Miri’s, we’re home!”, Marinette called the Kwami’s by their nickname. Since they lived in the miraculous’ she had decided a name played of the word would be fitting. Creating the nickname ‘Miri’s’. The kwami that had permission out flew up to greet her and her guest. She briefly saw Tikki pull Plagg to the side most likely to tell him about their day.

“Kaalki, you remember Titus right?”, Marinette grinned at the Kwami.

“Yes, it’s that mutt that lunged at me when I came to retrieve you!”, the small horse spat out.

“That is no way to speak about him and you know it. Baark would be disappointed to hear this!”, she scolded.

“Sorry, Mari.”, he quietly apologized.

“It’s okay! Now, I need to return him home ASAP and I need your help.”, she explained.

“Of course, guardian! I’ll be glad for an adventure.”, Kaalki exclaimed.

“Great! Kaalki, full Gallop!”, Marinette called.

A turquoise portal was opened up in front of her that led to a well taken care of yard. Marinette saw how Titus was wary of it and comforted him with a bright smile.

“Don’t worry Titus, your home is just on the other side. I’ll keep my hand right here while we go through!”, she said resting a hand on the top of his head.

Coaxing the dog through was much easier than dealing with a civilian. She’s had her fair share of people refusing to flee to safety just because it was magic. Seriously people, your heroes or vigilantes can’t save everyone! It’s not like you can’t peek your head through first before crossing, she would never understand Gothamites. Titus seemed to be trusting of her and calming followed her in and stepped out onto the grass.

“See, nothing bad happened. It was nice to see you again Titus but I have to go now! Be safe and try not to run off again. I’m sure your owner would deeply miss you.”, Marinette whispered while giving his head a final scratch. Titus barked a goodbye as she stepped back into her apartment and closed the portal.

Calling off the transformation, Marinette flopped onto her couch and nestled into the blanket there. She hadn’t been back home for a full minute before she was bombarded.

“What’s this about you getting attacked!”

Damian would kill whichever one of his brothers left not only the front door but the gate open when they left. He hoped it had been Drake since he despised him the most. Titus had run off when he saw his opportunity for freedom out of the well-known manor grounds. Damian had spent the whole day running around Gotham trying to locate him. The dog even had the gall to disable the GPS location chip on his collar by running into a pool of water. He knew this because of the notification of water damage when he first started his chase. Now Damian was home and in a sour mood.

“Chill out Demon Spawn! Titus is hella smart and will come back eventually. Just let him roam around and live a little.”, Jason stated.

“You do not know that, Todd. For all we know he could be in a terrible pound or worse.”, Damian retorted.

“Baby Bird, he has a collar with our number. I’m sure when someone finds him they’ll give us a call.”, Dick said trying to reassure the youngest Wayne.

“Wait, we were looking for Titus? Isn’t that him in the yard?”, Tim questioned from his seat by the window.

There the missing dog was in all his glory barking a poor squirrel up a tree.

Tag list

@legallyspawned @chocolate1721 @spartanxhunterx @dreamykitty25 @toodaloo-kangaroo @vixen-uchiha @loveswifi @amayakans @jeptwin @thewonderlandartist @buticaaba @books-and-left-behind-journals @gigibnl @aegyobutpsycho2 @crazylittlemunchkin @maribat-is-lifeblood @myazael @abrx2002 @pawsitivelymiraculous @silvergold-swirl @chaos-inperson

#maribat #The One Where Marinette

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zambie-trashart · 3 years

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Weredad: Rewritten Series

Masterlist

Screams: HELLO! ANYONE THERE? I WAS GONE FOR A WHILE BUT I’M BACK NOW! YOOHOO!

A special thanks to my bro @loveswifi for helping me get back into writing these.

Summary: What goes wrong when Robin starts to figure out that Marinette might have a secret that she’s not telling anyone and she tells him that she has a crush on him? Just about everything.

.....................................

Ladybug and Superboy were fighting a giant baby destroying buildings in the process and one of which happened to be the bakery that they lived in.

“That can’t be good,” Superboy said as Tom ran into the building going to check on his daughter and nephew.

“We need to finish this fast, lucky charm!” A giant tire fell and Superboy caught it not wanting it to crush his cousin.

“Can we hurry this up, my arms are starting to hurt.” The two figured out how to use the tire and fixed everything. “He’s in your room!” Superboy yelled and the two flew up to the balcony hiding while Marinette transformed back and Jon changed.

A shadow watched them from another rooftop suspicious but willing to hear out an explanation. He jumped to the rooftop as Jon slid down into Marinette’s room.

“There’s something a little odd about how you’re always standing at the scene of a crime to help out your cousin and yet you never seem to be hurt,” Robin said and Marinette turned around facing the brooding teen.

“Well it’s not just for Jon,” Marinette said and Robin’s eyes narrowed.

“What for then?” Robin asked arms crossed and Marinette tried to think of something that would make him lose his train of thought.

“I just... I love watching you fight because I’m in love with you,” Marinette said leaping onto the bird boy. Tom chose that moment to peek his head through the trap door and Jon was in Marinette’s room laughing hysterically obviously hearing the whole thing and texting Adrien about it.

“Oh my goodness,” Tom said hands over his mouth smiling.

“This is probably my cue to leave,” Robin said going to turn around but Marinette’s massive father’s hand landed on his shoulder making him turn around.

“You should come join us for brunch tomorrow,” Tom offered and Robin looked skeptical. “There’ll be macaroons,” Tom said winking and Robin gave cause he wanted to hear Jon stop laughing.

“Yeah, I’ll uh be there,” Robin said diving off the roof swinging away and onto a rooftop where a girl waited for him. “I’ve had enough to deal with tonight,” Robin dressed the young girl.

“Oh, I know,” she said smirking holding up her phone where a text from Jon sat poorly written in the received side of her screen. “What ever happened to the crush on your little love bug?” she asked eyes widening in false concern.

“Shut up, or do I need to call your father, chances are, he doesn’t even know you’re here,” Robin sneered.

“Killjoy!” she called as he jumped away and she fell back onto the roof sighing. “Good seeing you too Damian.”

.....................................

Jon laughed over the phone at his friend who was trying to think of a reason not to go.

“I don’t want Marinette to be in love with Robin Jon, Robin isn’t good for her,” Damian said sighing.

“Oh cheer up sourpuss, you better be coming cause Uncle Tom put his everything into this meal,” Jon said looking at Marinette who was pacing around the room trying not to panic.

“Are you sure that it’s that and not that your cousin has a crush on me?” Damian asked frowning.

“He was up last night talking about courses dude, you’ve got to get here,” Jon said hanging up and he saw Marinette move to the balcony and he followed her.

“He’s not going to come Jon, he’s too broody,” Marinette said to her cousin who was resting his head on his hand looking up at her from the entrance.

“You underestimate him and you’re going to regret it, he hates hurting people’s feelings if they mean something to him,” Jon said before immediately regretting what he said.

“I mean something to him? That idiot better not have fallen in love with me or something!” Marinette yelled getting closer before hearing her father’s screams of joy.

“He’s not in love with you Mari, don’t worry about that,” Jon said as they walked down to the main room just in time to see Robin getting crushed by a hug. “Ouch?” Jon asked and Robin just sent his friend a glare making him laugh.

Jon walked back up to Marinette’s room at Sabine’s request to which he happily obliged calling Adrien telling him to come over so they could listen in.

“Um thank you for inviting me,” Robin said a little nervous but he needed to get things out before he was in too deep.

“Oh no problem at all, is being a superhero a stable job?” Tom asked and Robin’s eyes widened chocking on his own spit.

“Oh no you’re right dad I can’t date a superhero what if I get hurt,” Marinette said trying to act like it was such a disappointment.

“He won’t be a hero forever, he’ll have to retire eventually won’t you?” Tom asked and Sabine just face palmed.

“This is hilarious,” Jon whispered to Adrien from where they were sitting on the floor.

“I can’t retire, I have a long complicated family issue and my work is much too dangerous, I can’t get too close to anyone,” Robin said and Tom’s eyes widened.

“Does that mean that you can’t date Marinette?” Tom asked sadly.

“Yes, I can’t date her or anyone right now,” Robin said turning to Marinette. “I’m truly sorry,” he got up and walked out the door and he heard Marinette crying and run up to her room slamming the trap door.

“Wow, was the date that good?” Jon asked confused.

“Oh please, like you weren’t listening the whole time,” Marinette said falling back into her chair before rumbling below them started and Adrien and Jon were separated and Jon was now alone with Marinette in a bubble of vines.

“What is happening?” Jon asked getting up and feeling something stab his back. He tried pulling the vines apart then lazering them then using his freeze breath but nothing worked. “It has to be an akuma,” Jon said grabbing his cousin’s hand so they wouldn’t lose each other.

Adrien looked up at the tangle of vines and over at Robin. “Jon is in there,” Adrien said panicked and Robin just looked at him before rolling his eyes and getting back to the matter at hand which was stopping the akuma.

“Transform already, I don’t have all day,” Robin said and Chat looked back at him smiling signifying that he already did.

They climbed to the top and a giant wolf man pounced down on them. “I am Weredad and I will protect my babies from ever getting their hearts broken.”

“Isn’t your nephew already in a relationship?” Chat asked and Weredad swung a vine at him almost knocking him over. They fought him dodging swinging vines and fists but suddenly the tower of vines collapsed and Weredad turned back into Tom as they were free falling back to Earth.

Marinette was screaming falling back to Earth and Jon was just chilling in the air hands behind his head checking his phone.

“Jon do something!” Marinette yelled and he rolled his eyes flying back down to Earth and getting changed flying back up to grab each of them and bring them back down safely except for Robin who was grabbed by a streak of purple and green.

“Thank you so much Superboy,” Tom said hugging his daughter but the akuma was still on the loose.

“We should get you back inside, I need to examine your daughter for a moment to make sure she doesn’t have any broken bones or anything like that,” Superboy said and Chat led Tom back inside to Marinette could transform and fix everything.

.....................................

“So what did we learn today?” Jon asked arms crossed leaning back against the ladder of Marinette’s bed.

“Not to lie about a crush,” Marinette said and Jon just smiled.

“Good.” Jon started to walk out of the room but an akuma alert went off on his phone. “It’s August again,” Jon said suiting up. The two went out into the city meeting up with Robin and Chat who were already fighting the baby.

A blast of green flew past Marinette’s face and she turned around to see a girl with purpleish black hair and purple suit and glowing green eyes standing there watching as the giant baby fell backward and Ladybug went down to repair the damage and revert the akuma. When she got back to the roof the girl was standing on Superboy was hugging the girl and Robin was trying to punch her. Ladybug stood over by Chat confused.

“Who is she?”

“My name is Nightstar and I have traveled all the way from America to see my favorite boys again!” the girl said hugging Jon again and kicking Robin in the knee.

“Favorite boy is more like it, watch out, he’s got a boyfriend,” Robin warned gesturing to the one blonde of the group.

“Aw, he’s adorable,” she squealed.

“How long are you staying again?” Robin asked holding his temples.

“Just a week Rob, nothing to worry about,” Nightstar said smiling at Ladybug. “We’re going to have so much fun together.”

.....................................

HPT: (new group only for people who get the joke, you’ll have to go far into my past posts to get this one) @loveswifi

JPS: (we back baby!) @ash-amg @moonspiritwolf1 @thatonecroc @ive-tumbled-down-a-rabbit-hole @wannajointhecrabcult @mochinek0@mochegato @liquid-luck-00 @toodaloo-kangaroo

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makeste · 4 years

Text

BnHA Chapter 265: Tamaki What Did You Eat

Previously on BnHA: The heroes began their invasion of the Ol’ Villain Marriott. Down in the basement, Re-Destro was all “what’s going my fresh villain citizens, what a beautiful day, well I guess we should start that meeting” and they were all “WE’RE UNDER FUCKING ATTACK” and he made a face and I laughed. Class 1-B, Edgeshot, and Midnight then jovially killed some people, and then we cut to Dabi and Hawks! Hawks was all “sorry it has to be this way Bubaigawara but I’m gonna have to arrest you” and Twice got all Harry Potter in that one scene from the Prisoner of Azkaban movie, and then he did the thing, and fucking Hawks just fucking stood there and DID NOTHING. So now he’s gonna have to fight 100,000 Twices I guess, and meanwhile Dabi is running up the stairs on his way to intervene and somehow make things even more chaotic. Also either Hawks or Dabi thinks heroes are scum, and I’m still not clear on which. But basically it’s safe to say that angst is on the way, friends.

Today on BnHA: Tamaki turns into a horse. I have questions. Dark Shadow fights fucking Re-Destro and fucking destroys him in like two seconds flat, like holy shit whaaaaat. Then Tokoyami just hops on inside of Fatgum like a goddamn marsupial, and spends several pages like this, during which I completely can’t focus the entire time but I do remember that we learned that Machia won’t be joining the fight because he apparently only listens to Tomura, so that’s convenient I guess. Then we cut to Twice and Hawks (I literally typed out “Dabi and Hawks” just now and had to go back and change it, so you can see where my mind is at), and Hawks defeats Twice and is all “guess I’ve got no choice” and is seriously going to kill him (hahaha what the fuck), but then DABI FUCKING BURNS THE ENTIRE ROOM DOWN WITH EVERYONE IN IT WHILE LAUGHING AND THEN THE CHAPTER JUST ENDS. I feel like I just got slapped in the face.

so before we start, let me just mention that I got a ton of asks and messages about the whole “HERO SCUM” line, and I appreciate everyone keeping me up to date on the twists and turns of our wild little fandom lol. so as you all probably know, in Viz’s translation of the last page they had Dabi saying the line (“Twice, this isn’t your fault. as always... scummy heroes are to blame”). so naturally everyone was either like “whaaaaat!” or “I KNEW IT!!”, but then Caleb went and deleted his original tweet saying that it was Dabi, and replaced it with a new tweet, the gist of which was basically “I don’t fucking know either” and admitting he wasn’t an authority on the matter. so to sum everything up, we basically don’t know and will never know until the anime airs this in about three years’ time, or until the only man who can actually clear this up decides to stop drawing weird mushroom men for five goddamn minutes so he can clarify for us

anyway, so in the meantime it’s time to see who’s having angst this week! probably everybody! let’s just assume it’s everybody and save some time

ohooo so we finally get to see why they had Tamaki and Tokoyami in the vanguard, eh?

(ETA: gotta say, “you” is an awfully impersonal way to address someone whose entire body you are shortly going to stuff inside your little quirk papoose and tote around like a fanny pack.)

honestly this isn’t much of a mystery though lol. Tokoyami is obvious, and with Tamaki it’s probably because of his kraken thing if I had to guess

...excuse me sir is this leading where I think it’s leading

sir. Mister Gum, sir. please do not tell me you are actually about to lead these children into the building and down into the basement. first of all the thought of you and Tamaki in yet another basement is already giving me PTSD so no thanks. and second of all, ???!?!?!?!?! [gestures incredulously to the two children] ?!?!?!???? [emphatically taps my computer screen with the wiki page showing their respective ages] ???!?!?!?!?!?! [gestures wildly toward a picture of Gigantomachia I pulled up just now in a google search. yeah that’s right. Gigantomachia!! you all forgot about him didn’t you!! well guess who didn’t forget about him?? that’s right. so you’d better explain yourself right the fuck now, Fatgum. oh wait I’m still talking in action brackets whoops]

holy crap is Tokoyami giving orders lmao

well look at you. a general, huh? somebody must’ve told them about his little maneuver at the Battle of Taanab

so now some generic villain guys are all “HOW’D THEY FIND OUR SECRET PATH” and “WE MUST DEFEND IT” and I sure can’t wait to watch them get their asses kicked three panels from now

OH LORDY

EVERYONE TAMAKI HAS JUST TURNED INTO A HORSE. I IMMEDIATELY HAVE SEVERAL QUESTIONS, THE MOST PRESSING OF WHICH ARE (1) WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN TO HIS PANTS, AND (2) DOES THIS MEAN TAMAKI ATE A FUCKING HORSE. PLEASE STAY TUNED AS WE URGENTLY INVESTIGATE THESE NEW DEVELOPMENTS

lol and the cow horns too. why though. just completes the look I guess

loooooool he’s all “apologies, but please remain still” who are you, Tuxedo Mask??

LOOOOOOL

by the way, I almost skipped right past this, but the text says Tamaki will be a sidekick at the Fatgum agency starting “next year”, which presumably means “in a couple of weeks because the school year is about to end.” our boy is graduating! I’m so proud, and also really pissed off about Mirio all of a sudden, just throwing that out there. how much longer must his dreams be put on hold. where is the justice. man I need a minute

okay! anyway so now Tokoyami is just running into the basement alone!! hooooo boy. I know it’s dark down there and that’s presumably why they’re sending him of all people, but still. hooooooooo boy

ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS NO WAY

IS TOKOYAMI GOING TO TAKE ON FUCKING RE-DESTRO AND IS THIS REALLY HAPPENING AND WHY THE FUCK IS NIGHT ON BALD MOUNTAIN SUDDENLY PLAYING

KDSFLK;L’LLL

AM I IN THE RIGHT MANGA. DID DARK SHADOW REALLY JUST GROW NINETY FEET TALL AND START WRESTLING THE SAME FUCKING GUY WHO ALMOST* BROUGHT DOWN THE ENTIRE LEAGUE OF FUCKING VILLAINS

*except he didn’t, let’s be real. didn’t even come close. but still, on paper the hype looks real good!!

AND DO RE-DESTRO’S ROBOT LEGS SOMEHOW FUCKING CHANGE SIZE ALONG WITH HIM. CHALK ANOTHER ONE UP FOR THE MYSTERY BASKET. PUT YOU RIGHT NEXT TO “BUT FOR REAL THOUGH DID TAMAKI ACTUALLY EAT A FUCKING HORSE”

OOOOOF

LOL DETNERAT’S MERCHANDISE REALLY IS TOTAL SHIT. CAN’T EVEN HANDLE A LITTLE CLASH WITH A GIGANTIC SHADOW DEMON

by the way, check out that one guy in the bottom right corner who just totally doesn’t give the least of fucks. he’s fresh out. he wants to know how much longer this is gonna last so he can go home and get back to playing the new Animal Crossing. did you know they added a new crafting feature. can’t believe he’s stuck here at this boring meeting. this man genuinely doesn’t seem to be at all aware of anything that is currently happening around him and it’s amazing. added to the box of questions

oh man. I don’t quite understand what is happening now but I keep expecting Gigantomachia to just pop up out of nowhere any second and I can’t fucking stand it. Horikoshi please stop showing us these close-ups of destroyed walls

OH GOD OH GOD!!!

(ETA: what a casual fucking line implying that Tokoyami genuinely believed that there was nobody in THE ENTIRE LEAGUE OF PLIFF who stood a chance against his latest super move. don’t mind him everyone, he’s just been lowkey biding his time to become the strongest member of class 1-A offscreen while his loser classmates were having dramatic family dinners. how many High Ends could Dark Shadow take out I wonder. why did I suddenly get a mental image of Toko losing an arm only to sigh and nonsensically quote Shakespeare or some shit before wrapping Dark Shadow around the stump and getting back to the asskicking.)

NO TOKO NOT THE ANGRY BALD MAN, HE’S TALKING ABOUT SOMEONE ELSE!! OH FUCK OH FUCK

LMAO

:) :) :) can we maybe get my solemn bird son out of this fucking DEATH BASEMENT right the fuck now. can we do that, please

holy shit!?

:) :) :) I can’t decide whether I trust these panels or not. why is he so confident. does this mean Machia really will be sitting out the arc, or is a trap. help

(ETA: I guess it’s okay for now. ... dammit I’m still suspicious sob.)

also, Tokoyami’s “?!” face is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen though. the fact that he’s physically incapable of altering his expressions no matter what is true comedy gold here

NEVER MIND, THOSE WERE THE WORDS OF A CALLOW YOUTH WHO KNEW NOTHING OF TRUE COMEDY GOLD

WHAT A FOOL I WAS. PLEASE PARDON MY IGNORANCE. SO HERE WE HAVE TOKOYAMI’S MONOEXPRESSION BIRD HEAD STICKING OUT OF FATGUM’S JOLLY BELLY FOR NO REASON, WHILE FATGUM IS ALL “DON’T YOU FEEL LIKE WE’RE KICKING TOO MUCH ASS AND SOMETHING TERRIBLE IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN”, AND SOME OTHER POOR GUY WITH SCISSORS HANDS IS JUST LYING THERE DEAD IN THE BACKGROUND. MY GOD. I’M IN AWE OF THIS

dfkjkjk oh noooo

“does this young man amuse you,” Horikoshi says as he darkly pencils in the disturbingly concave shadows of Fatgum’s ridiculous fucking quirk. “are his ‘magnificent fellow’ bird antics pleasing for you to watch. I guess it sure would be a shame if I gave him some... angst”

but for real y’all I genuinely can’t take this at all seriously when Tokoyami’s head is still stubbornly and persistently poking its way out of Fatgum like a goddamn baby kangaroo in every fucking panel

we are entering another Tokoyami+Hawks mentor flashback and this is still all I can think about. why is he even in there. why is any of this happening. Tokoyami really just flung Re-Destro into a wall and then climbed inside of Fatgum feet-first so they could run along to freedom. just fucking ensconced himself. do you think it’s cozy in there. do you think Aizawa would fall asleep

hey Toko please stop having ominous thoughts about my other bird son

have you ever heard of an announcer jinx. “now here’s a guy who the fans have loved since the moment he was first introduced. and if you look at the stats, fourth place in his first popularity poll, which was taken only ten chapters after his introduction. heck, he’s so popular they even went and gave him a role in the second movie even before he appeared in the anime! it’s undeniable that this young man has a bright future ahead of him, Al.” now you listen here. I don’t at all like where this is headed and it needs to stop right now

anyway so of course on that note we are cutting back to Hawks

so we’ve confirmed that Hawks has his hands full just melting all of the new clones as they come, and doesn’t have the speed or the excess feathers (or the conviction? :|) to go after the original and put a stop to all this

or you could just ignore everything I say ever because immediately on the next page Horikoshi is all “actually he’s winning lol”

anyway but it sure would be a shame if someone were to run in and set you on fire right about now. that probably sounds sarcastic but it actually would be really bad lol please don’t set Hawks on fire

(ETA: motherfucker. goddamn. fucking --)

and now Hawks is making clones of his fellow League buddies oh shit!! but right when I was about to scroll down I noticed that Hawks is carrying some sort of recording device?? or communications device?? in his hand very conspicuously in that last panel? and so what is going on here, exactly?

oh shit and never mind about those LoV clones

that’s all well and good Hawks, but I need you to please just be very cautious and aware and proactive about not catching on fire okay. watch your six

oh my god oh my god

“now here’s a guy whose rise in popularity was unexpected but just a real pleasure to watch. he just really cares about his friends.” “you said it; he really came into his own a couple arcs back. twenty-third in the most recent poll, and the fans all love him.” fffffff Hawks isn’t a killer Hawks isn’t a killer, I can’t hear you lalala

LA LA LA

maybe... he’ll just... punch a small hole through one of his lungs... ...

...

or... a large hole... ... ,,,

oh THANK GOD he’s jumping on top of him. so clearly he’s fine because Shounen Rules. that’s right, this is a manga where Toga survived blowing up from the inside out and Jeanist survived being murdered and stuffed into a tote bag. (right??) why am I so tense I hate this!!

HEY WHAT IS THIS

or you could just KNOCK HIM OUT??? ?????!??! did they not teach you that in peewee assassin league?! Hawks

I DON’T LIKE THIS I DIDN’T SIGN UP FOR THIS!!

STOP SHOWING US TWICE’S SAD THOUGHTS YOU BASTARD NO I DON’T LIKE THIS YOU’RE GOING TO MAKE ME CRY SO STOP!!

GODDAMMIT HORIKOSHI I FUCKING HATE YOU

“HERE’S A SERIES OF PANELS WITH TWICE CRYING AND THINKING ABOUT TOGA WHILE HAWKS HOLDS A FUCKING KNIFE RIGHT ABOVE HIS EYE,” HORIKOSHI SAYS WHILE IGNORING EVERYTHING I SAY AND DISABLING ALL COMMENTS ON HIS TWITTER, PROBABLY. WOW I JUST LOOKED IT UP AND APPARENTLY YOU CAN’T DO THAT? DAMN, TWITTER REALLY SUCKS, BUT ANYWAY

FINE THEN DABI YOU CAN SET HIM ON FIRE!!

JOKE’S ON YOU ASSHOLES, YOU CAN’T HURT ME IF I CAN’T SEE THE LAST PAGE OF THE CHAPTER THROUGH ALL MY TEARS

FUCK

[SLAMS HANDS ON TABLE] THE FUCK WAS THAT

DON’T YOU EVEN DARE, HORIKOSHI. I DON’T WANT TO HEAR ANY “BUT YOU GAVE HIM PERMISSION”, COME THE FUCK ON, YOU AND I BOTH KNOW THAT DIDN’T MEAN SHIT AND I WAS LIABLE TO CHANGE MY MIND YET AGAIN ONLY A PAGE LATER AS PER USUAL! WHAT SORT OF TWISTED MIND WOULD DECIDE THAT THE ONLY WAY TO SAVE TWICE WAS TO SET THE ENTIRE ROOM ABLAZE AND THEN HAVE DABI GLEEFULLY STOMP ON HAWKS’S FACE. WHAT KIND OF SICK MONSTER WOULD DREAM THIS UP. THIS ISN’T HOT AT ALL. HOW DARE YOU

ALSO WTF DABI, “HERE I COME TO RESCUE TWICE” WHILE BURNING HIM ALIVE AS WELL, JESUS CHRIST THESE FUCKING TODOROKIS I SWEAR TO GOD. DID YOUR BRAIN CELLS CATCH FIRE TOO

I CAN’T BELIEVE I WAITED ALL WEEK IN A FUCKING LOCKDOWN FOR THIS SHIT. THIS CHAPTER WAS A FUCKING TRAIN WRECK, AND I DON’T KNOW IF I WANT TO THANK ITS STUPID CONDUCTOR, OR PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE. it’s not the manga we need, but it’s the one we deserve. I guess

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lu-undy · 3 years

Text

Chapter 55 - SBT

Here it is!

"Uh… Spook?"

"Oui?"

"I-I'd need to go to my van to get some clothes…"

Both men finished bathing. Mundy followed Lucien from the bathroom to the bedroom, each wearing nothing but a towel around their waists.

"Nonsense. I will lend you some clothes for the night."

"For the night?" Mundy asked.

"Unless you would rather go back to your van but-"

"No, I'd… I'd love to stay actually."

Their eyes met and they exchanged a smile.

"Glad to hear it. Now, which color do you prefer, navy blue, light blue, Burgundy red or off-white?"

Overwhelmed by the choice, Mundy went for the last one he heard.

"Off-white?"

"Interesting choice." Lucien passed him some pyjamas and a pair of underwear.

Mundy took them and realised it was a shirt and a pair of trousers, made of satin and matching of course. They had motifs of branches and leaves of fern sewn in, in white cotton. Lucien opted for the Burgundy one with golden sewn flower motifs.

Each of them turned their back to the other and dressed up. Lucien was the first to finish, he turned to Mundy and heard him mumble and curse under his breath.

"What is it, mon loup?"

[my wolf]

"It's the bloody buttons, I can't get them right, I always mess them up…"

"Let me help." Lucien moved in front of Mundy and did the buttons. "If you have any difficulty, start from the bottom and go to the top."

"Why would it be easier that way?" Mundy asked. "Doesn't make sense, does it?"

"But it does. The buttons at the bottom you can see easily, whereas the ones at the top are right under this lovely chin of yours." Lucien tickled it gently as he finished and Mundy chuckled.

"Thanks…"

"My pleasure."

Mundy looked down at himself.

"Uh… We might have a problem, Spook?"

"What?" Lucien went to sit on the bed, with his back against the wall.

"Well look at me…" Mundy wiggled his shoulders and pulled down the end of the shirt. "The sleeves are too short, and look down, the legs too! And if you don't mind, I'll open the buttons cause it's too tight on my shoulders."

"I would be an utter fool to complain when you want to sleep with your shirt open, Mundy."

"N-no, I mean, it's not like that, it's just your shirt's too small for me… Also, wait, what? You want me to sleep here?"

"Unless you prefer the rusticity of your campervan…" Lucien raised an eyebrow and Mundy shrugged.

"Ok, I get it… But this time, don't take all the blanket, alright?"

Mundy took the other side of the bed and both slid under the duvet.

"Me?! You were the one to steal it all night long and I had to pull it off your limbs!"

"As if…" Lucien answered and he stopped when the door to the bedroom creaked.

"Meow."

Perle trotted to the bed and jumped to climb on it.

"Perle, mon bébé, you should really sleep in your bed tonight."

"Meow?"

"Cause your dad wants me to sleep with him." Mundy answered and she went under his fingers. Yes, Papa knew how to choose his companion wisely, the scratching was divine.

"Meow…" She answered, disappointed, but started purring under the delightful head scratches.

"Don't worry, kitty cat, I'll take care of him. I'll keep him warm and safe, alright?"

"Meow?"

"O'course you can say goodnight to him, you'd better do it actually, he might be pissed off if you don't, eh."

Perle went to Lucien and climbed his shirt to settle on his shoulder. He hugged her and kissed her repeatedly, saying sweet nonsense that Mundy could hardly understand.

"Bonne nuit, mon bébé, fais de beaux rêves."

[Good night, my baby, sweet dreams.]

He kissed her fur and put her down on the floor next to his side of the bed. To his greatest surprise, she climbed in her little cosy basket and curled into a ball of fur.

When Lucien came back to lie down in the bed, Mundy wrapped his arms around him and pulled him to himself.

"Ah, here we go for the clingy kangaroo."

"Oh alright then…!" Mundy let go of his lover and turned his back to Lucien.

"Non, mon amour, please…!" The Frenchman spooned him and laced his arms around him. "Please turn to me…"

"The clingy kangaroo says no."

"Mundy, please…" Lucien begged as he brushed his skin under his lover's open shirt.

The Aussie melted. Hearing Lucien beg him to give him attention was something that his mind barely managed to understand. He rolled on his side to hold him back.

"Right, right…"

Lucien hummed happily as he buried his head against Mundy's hairy chest, lovingly. The Aussie closed his arms around him and held him close.

"Gosh I never imagined I'd feel all this one day."

"Feel what?"

"Wantin' to hug someone that badly."

"I feel that for you too." Lucien answered as Mundy made sure the blanket was around him properly.

"Oh-?" The Aussie blushed when he felt Lucien kiss his chest.

"Ticklish?" Lucien asked.

"Surprised." Mundy answered.

"Is it too much?"

"N-no. It's just… I didn't expect that."

Lucien stopped and just cuddled with the taller man. They both appreciated the warmth, the fingers exploring each other's silhouettes, the hands sliding on clothes and skin.

"Lu'?"

"Hm?"

"I feel weird right now…"

"Why?"

"I love you."

"And that makes you feel weird?" Lucien asked.

"Yeah… I mean… It's been a few days since, y'know, you told me that you liked me and I liked you and…"

"Oui?"

"I haven't left your side for those past few days. It's weird. Spent years on my own and I never liked people. Now, I can't get enough of you."

Lucien smiled against Mundy's chest.

"It's weird…" Mundy repeated.

"You are thinking about it in a weird way." Lucien answered.

"What d'you mean?"

"I do understand what you mean of course, as I have gone through a similar… sentimental desert for years."

"You haven't tried to get anyone?" Mundy asked.

"Non. I couldn't get her out of my head."

Mundy looked for Lucien's hand under the blanket and when he found it, he slid his fingers between the Frenchman's.

"What's her name?"

"Mary but I always would call her with my French accent 'Marie'."

"Mary…" Mundy repeated. "What's she like?"

Lucien grinned as he reopened the most colourful chapter of his life in his mind.

"She was charming, in her own way, and I never thought I could fall for a woman like her. She was American, she lived in Boston. I met her there as she worked as a waiter in a diner, similar to the one Victoria works for."

"Ah, I see."

"She had black hair that would hardly touch her shoulders. She would always wear a headband that matched her outfit. My favourite one was her blue dress, it enhanced the colour of her eyes."

"She had blue eyes?"

"Oui. Darker than mine and lighter than yours. She was about… half a foot shorter than me and the curves of her body were proof of the existence of God…"

"What d'you mean?"

"She had a slim waist and beautiful hips, oh… She had the most feminine silhouette."

"Have any pictures of her?"

Lucien frowned.

"You would want to see her?"

"If that's ok with you. I mean, if it hurts or anythin', you don't have to."

"I just fail to understand why you would like to. Wouldn't it make you feel uncomfortable? Actually, perhaps it was foolish of me to talk about her at all…" Lucien rubbed his face with a hand and frowned. "I shouldn't have."

"No, I was the one to ask, I mean, if you don't mind…?"

Lucien sighed.

"Fine, give me an instant." He got off the bed and Mundy watched him go out of the room. He thought that he might have pushed too far and his mind pictured Lucien locked up in the bathroom crying of grief, or anything worse maybe?

But no, Lucien re-appeared and sat back on the bed, his back against the wall. Mundy sat up next to him.

"Your cigs case?"

Lucien nodded as he opened the metallic case containing the nicely lined cigarettes. He pushed them slightly and retrieved the photograph hidden behind them. It wasn't facing him, but rather was turned such that Lucien needed to flip it to see it.

"Here." He took it away from the cigarette case delicately without flipping it, and handed it to Mundy.

"Can I see?"

"Oui."

Mundy flipped it.

"Oh… It's… her with…"

"Jérémy, my son, and myself."

The black and white photograph showed the three of them. Lucien, Mary and young Jérémy in the middle. Lucien was lacing his arm around Mary's hips, and she was resting her hands on Jérémy's shoulders as he smiled to the camera. The Frenchman was wearing a white shirt and dark trousers but no tie or vest. Mary was wearing a dress with a headband of the same shade of grey and Jérémy had a baseball jacket that seemed a bit too large for him.

"You three look cute in this picture. And wow, you look quite younger too."

"No grey hair and not a single worry in the world." Lucien answered.

"Why d'you keep this picture upside down?"

The Frenchman sighed.

"Because I am a heavy smoker as you know, and it is too hard to see them all the time. I keep them close to my heart, but I cannot afford to look at them. It is too strong, even after all this time."

"Right, I see. Any other pictures you have, or did you leave them in France?" Mundy asked as he gave the picture back.

"They are indeed in France but not in my possession."

"What d'you mean, 'not in your possession'?"

"I…" Lucien thought fast. He didn't want anyone to know about this but Mundy was surely the last man he was speaking to, so he might as well confess all his sins. "After Marie and Jérémy passed, I gathered all evidence of their existence, and all proof that I once was happy. Any photographs and souvenirs I put in a box and on a rainy night, I went to a park in Paris."

Mundy frowned.

"The rain was pouring on me and my clothes, drenching me to the bone. I could feel my suit sticking to my skin and all my hair was soaked. I picked the lock on the gate of that park and entered it. I walked such that I was sufficiently deep in and at some point I dropped to my knees, in the muddy grass. I took my knife out and started digging a hole with it and with my hands."

Mundy's jaw started to lower down. He could guess where it was all going.

"When the hole was sufficiently big, I lowered the box in it. The rain drops falling on it made an unbearable drumming noise. I then put the dirt back on top of it and made it look like any other mole hole."

"Holy…"

"All of what I was before is in that box which to this day lies under the ground in Paris." Lucien summed up. "I guess you surely think that I am a fool for this. But I don't want to keep secrets anymore, especially not with you."

Mundy pulled Lucien to himself and hugged him.

"No. You're not crazy. I… After my parents went away, I put my rifles, bullets, bow and arrows, everything in a large tin crate and buried it in the middle of the desert. I prayed each day that I forgot where it was so that I can't go back to it. I'd learned my lesson. With a rifle in my hands I can not only kill the bloke in my scope, but also all the other people that I don't see when I scope. So yeah, I took everything, tossed it in a box and ditched it far from anyone and anything."

Lucien snuggled against Mundy.

"We both did the same then." He said.

"Yeah. We both tried."

"And look where it led us." Lucien said as both sank down to lie on the bed and intertwined their limbs together again.

"I dug up my rifles again."

"And I went back to three-piece suits and balaclavas."

Both sighed.

"But it's the last time we do that, right?" Mundy asked.

"Oui. This is it, the final job."

Mundy was lying on his side with Lucien tightly between his arms, his head against the Aussie's chest, under his jaw.

"Love you, Lu'. Love you more and more."

"So do I."

Mundy lowered his head and kissed Lucien's still slightly damp hair.

"Mh, merci, mon loup."

[Thank you, my wolf.]

And those were the last few words they exchanged before falling asleep in each other's arms.

The minutes and hours hands spun, sweeping past the clock's face and soon the sun rose again.

"Mh… Lu'... What are you doing… Stop it… Let me sleep, please…"

"Meow."

Mundy opened his eyes.

He thought Lucien was playing with his hair on his face again but no, it was actually Perle brushing herself on Mundy's face.

"Baby cat…" He hugged her and kissed her, looking over to Lucien who was still sleeping giving his back to him.

"D'you think we should wake your Dad up?"

Perle purred and stretched under the rough fingers and the exquisite scratches all along her back.

"D'you want to wake him or…?"

"Meow." She answered and rolled to offer her belly for Mundy to scratch.

"Right, I'll do it myself then, but you need to leave, Pearl."

"Meow?"

"Cause it's not a sight for kids. You'll understand when you grow up."

"Meow…"

"No, you're still a baby, look at your big head and massive eyes. Also, your tail is very short."

"Meow!" She answered.

"Yes, it is. Now, here," He kissed her and rolled on the bed until he was at the edge to drop her on the floor. "Go and play while you wait for me to wake Papa up, ok?"

"Meow." She brushed herself on his hand one last time and trotted out of the room.

"Right, now, to us…" Mundy got closer to Lucien and if his first thought was to spoon him, the temptation to kiss him overwhelmed the man and laced his arms around Lucien to kiss his back, on his satin shirt. He shifted closer to stick his body to the Frenchman.

"Someone is happy to hug me…" The voice with the French accent sung and Mundy blushed. "Very happy, hm? Unless you keep a dagger in your underwear at all times."

"Uh, n-no, I mean, it's just that, uh, I just woke up, ok? Sorry…" Mundy shifted away from Lucien's body but the Frenchman pulled his arms to make him come back.

"When did you hear me complain about it?" He asked and Mundy came back right behind him with his happiness of the morning very much stuck to the Frenchman.

"Sorry…"

"Mmh… Don't apologise, there is no harm done. How did you sleep?" Lucien asked, revelling in his lover's arms.

"Yeah, good. Didn't have nightmares but didn't dream about you either. Could be worse and could be better."

"Hm? Have you ever dreamt about me?" Lucien asked.

"Y-n-no, I mean, I might have, once or twice, maybe, ahem, anyway, did you have a good night?"

Lucien smiled. He understood his lover's uneasiness at the question.

"Oui, I have slept well, and woke up in the arms of the man I usually dream of, day and night."

"Oh, so you dream of me sometimes?" Mundy asked.

"Of course. My mind shows me images that my mouth can barely speak of."

"Why? Is it nightmares?" Mundy asked, oblivious.

"Quite the opposite, Mundy. In fact, there are hardly any dreams more pleasant than those…"

"Oh." Mundy now caught on what Lucien was meaning. "Right, ok, wow! I'll uh…" He pushed the blanket away from him.

"Are you hot this morning?"

"W-well, yeah, a bit, I mean, it's what you said, it's like you're meaning that you dream about-"

"Oui, I do." Lucien cut him. "I did and I still do with my eyes wide open, Mundy."

He rolled to face the Aussie and sensually ran the tip of his fingers on his stomach and sides.

"Gosh…"

Shivers everywhere and Mundy shut his eyes, frowning. Then, Lucien's lips on his chest, kissing softly, nipping here and there, up to his neck, under his jaw. Mundy's fingers were twitching on their own, they were lost, paralysed. Lucien finally arrived on Mundy's lips. He kissed them slowly, taking his time to appreciate each contact, each time he pressed his thin lips against the sharpshooter's, as he ran his fingers behind Mundy's back.

Without consciously realising it, Mundy slid his hands on Lucien's slim cheeks and kissed back, passionately, his legs stretching and his toes curling under the blanket. He felt Lucien slither his legs between his.

"Gosh, Lu'..."

The Frenchman smirked and buried his head in Mundy's neck, nibbling softly there as his hands glided down Mundy's back, lower and lower until...

"Oh-?!" Mundy got startled at Lucien's sudden grasp for softness.

"Sorry, it was way too tempting." Lucien whispered in Mundy's ear.

"Yeah, nah, it's fine, it's just… I didn't expect it." Mundy lowered his head and kissed Lucien's hair. He shyly whispered. "Can I do the same to you?"

"I'm all yours."

Mundy's hands slithered down Lucien's satin, dark red pyjamas until they reached the bottom of his back.

"You sure?"

"Please."

Mundy timidly slid his palms lower and didn't see Lucien roll his eyes in bliss when the Aussie grasped the softness of the situation.

"You have wonderful hands." Lucien purred.

"Oh, uh, ok, I don't know…"

"Do with me what you wish." Lucien snuggled closer to Mundy, sticking his chest and abdomen to the Aussie.

"Oh, God…" Mundy realised that Lucien too was happy to wake up next to him. The surprise of it made his hands twitch and squeezed what they held for an instant.

"Oh!"

"Shit, sorry!" Mundy removed his hands.

"Non… It was delightful." Lucien's voice was begging for more without the words.

"C-can I-?"

"Oui."

"But you don't know what I was going to say?" Mundy chuckled.

"Whatever you want to do," Lucien raised his head to Mundy. Their eyes met and Lucien pushed Mundy's long hair away from his face.

"Please, do it."

#tf2 sniper #tf2 spy #sniperspy #SBT

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peterxwade24 · 4 years

Text

BWYD Shorts

So Affectionate and Happy

Marinette walked into the living room of the apartment, her shirt-dress hanging off her lithe form. Her hair swayed with her movements, catching the light and showing the unnatural blue hue that separated her from her other dark haired siblings. She rubbed at her eyes, their sapphire colour hidden. She let out a yawn, comparable only to that of a kitten.

Dick, sitting on an overstuffed armchair with a book open in his lap, looked up at the sound of her yawn. He smiled before running a hand through his free hair. “Hey Tiny Bat.” He watched as her sapphire eyes snapped open and she seemed to pause. He looked down over her outfit and felt a smile grow on his face. “Nice duds you got there.”

Marinette looked down at what she was wearing before looking up at her older brother with a fear filled gaze. She had completely forgotten she was wearing a heather-gray shirt with a navy blue Nightwing logo emblazoned across the chest. She gave him a sheepish grin and shrugged. “Did they take Oberon when they left?”

Dick nodded, “he was acting like a puppy so they took him. Baby Bat and Collie didn’t want to wake you, they said you’d been awake most of the night.” He looked at her sternly, or as sternly as he possibly could while she was wearing the shirt.

Marinette walked over to her brother and climbed into his lap. “I was working on suit designs.” She let out a yawn as she rested her head on his shoulder. “Planning to make your’s out of a more flexible material so you can show off your gymnastic abilities more and Jay-Jay’s out of kevlar and Tim-Tam’s out of a different colour because his colours aren’t working for him.” She settled comfortably against Dick’s wide frame and smiled when he started petting her hair. “Oiseaux jaune’s will be less fluorescent and Damian’s will be more him.”

Dick nodded along, humming the song his mother used to sing to him in her ear. “Where’d you get the shirt Tiny Bat? Doesn’t look like it fits you.”

“Jay-Jay.” She yawned and smiled. “But I think he got it from Ubaba.”

Dick’s face softened more as he looked down at Marinette. He couldn’t believe the history of the shirt but he was insanely grateful for his family.

---

Duke walked into the apartment, Damian, Colin and the dogs behind him, and a smile spread across his face. “Hey Dick. Whatcha got there?”

Dick looked at him over Marinette’s head, happy tears streaming down his face. “I need you to call B or Jason. Right now. I would but my phone’s in my pocket and I can’t get to it.”

Duke smiled, noticing the three cats laying on top of Marinette before he called the cave.

“Duke. What are you doing? Why are you calling at this hour?” Bruce’s voice flowed out of Duke’s phone before Duke flipped the camera around to show the chair Dick, Marinette and the cats were in. Bruce’s eyes widened. “Why didn’t you tell me she was sleeping?”

Dick’s cerulean eyes shined with tears “you had a Nightwing shirt?”

Bruce frowned, Duke flipped the camera back around and handed the phone to Dick. “You weren’t supposed to kn- is she wearing my shirt? Where did she get my shirt?”

Jason strolled through the cave, his eyes landing on the picture. “So that’s where the shirt went!”

Marinette looked at the camera, a glare in her eyes. “Jay-Jay. Ubaba. I love you but shut up.”

Bruce and Jason let out a laugh before they nodded. “Anything else Dick?”

“I love you.”

@dast218 @toodaloo-kangaroo @amayakans @crazylittlemunchkin @marinettepotterandplagg

#maribat #mlb x dc #ml x dc #ml crossover #mlb crossover #bruce wayne's youngest daughter

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stark-tony · 4 years

Text

irondad and spiderson ft biological son au fic recs part 2

* = incomplete

Close To The Ground series* by boo_boo_thefool

summary:

pairings: none

tags: angst

warnings: none

I'll Dedicate Everyday to You series* by sluttytonystark

summary:

pairings: none

tags: hurt/comfort

warnings: none

Every Breath of Me series* by doctornineandthreequarters

summary:

pairings: pepperony

tags: fluff, hurt/comfort

warnings: none

i promise you kid that i give so much more than i get series* by geralt_of_rivia

summary: Just short little ficlets of single dad Tony and his son Peter. No chronological order to these or anything - some will be before Tony is Iron Man TM and some will be after, all depending on his and Pete’s age in the fics of course. If you want to make a request, feel free to shoot me one here!

pairings: none

tags: fluff, hurt/comfort, angst

warnings: none

his greatest creation series* by peterstank

summary:

pairings: pepperony

tags: fluff, hurt/comfort

warnings: none

5 times Tony showed off Peter, and 1 time Peter showed him off by Webtrinsic

summary: Tony loves to show off his son.

pairings: none

tags:

warnings: none

The life of Peter Stark* by Malya

summary: Peter Stark's life seen through the media.

(Taking a break due to college)

pairings: none

tags: fluff

warnings: none

Radioactive by Emily_F6

summary: Things haven't always been great between Tony Stark and his son. He wasn't ready to become a father...didn't even know he had a son until the boy's mother died. Over time, though, he thought he got the hang of it. But that was before his son went on a field trip to Oscorop and was seemingly left fighting for his life. *Written for Iron Dad Big Bang*

pairings: none

tags: angst

warnings: none

Kangaroo Care by TonyStarkissist

summary: “It is commonly referred to as ‘Kangaroo Care’, sir. The skin-to-skin contact is proven to enhance a child's immune system, calm its heart rate, and increase familial bond between parent and child.”

Irondad Bingo Fic #2 AU: Biological Dad

pairings: none

tags: fluff

warnings: none

Sunlight by ArdenSkyeHolmes221

summary: “Stop pouting and ignoring me. You’re giving me a complex.”

“I am— I’m not pouting,” he sputters, avoiding his father’s gaze.

“Oooh, but you are ignoring me.”

***

Or the one where Peter struggles reintegrating in his own life after his dad lived five years without him.

pairings: pepperony

tags: fluff, angst

warnings: none

Twist of Fate by karenninaaa

summary: A single picture triggered Tony Stark to suspect that Peter Parker was his son, biologically.

pairings: pepperony

tags: fluff

warnings: none

An Anatomy Lesson by stained_glass_heart

summary: Completely self indulgent fluff to start healing from Endgame. No plot at all. Just soft Irondad caring for a baby spiderson.

Includes broad generalizations of anatomy, a stubborn carseat, Peter Parker being the most chill baby ever, and no beta.

pairings: none

tags: fluff

warnings: none

Father Figure* by vanillaxo

summary: Tony was panicked.

No, scrap that, he was frightened. Inconsolable. Perturbed. Hysterical. Definitely not capable of being a father- much less one overnight to two kids.

Father. Two. Kids.

God. It even sounded insane. Was the universe serious? This had to be a joke, right?

- CURRENTLY ON HIATUS -

pairings: pepperony

tags: fluff

warnings: none

Outsider by PinkEasterEggs

summary: “You know,” his Dad mused when they were halfway through the bread and the ducks were all swimming around them. “I used to come here during the 5 years when you were . . . gone.”

Peter didn’t know what to say, he’d half expected his Dad to of brought Morgan.

“I never brought any bread,” Tony sighed. “I just sat on that park bench for hours. I thought about bringing Morgan one year but . . . i wanted this place to be ours and ours only.”

Peter couldn’t even say how much that meant to him.

“You’ve changed,” Peter admitted. His Dad had created a whole new life for himself, one that Peter wasn’t really sure where he fit. All of his stuff had been thrown out and the Tower was sold.

“I know,” Tony sighed, ducking his head down to kiss Peter’s crown. “But i’ll always be your Dad."

Peter tries to find his place in the world after the Avengers defeated Thanos. As much as he knows he's loved, he can't shake the feelings of being replaced when he comes into a new world where his father is now married and had another child.

(No Spider-Man Far From Home Spoilers)

#10: Biological Child

pairings: pepperony

tags: angst

warnings: none

The Chilling Realities Of Hunting And Being Hunted by Buckets_Of_Stars

summary: All Peter and Tony had to do was cross the mountains. That’s it. Just climb a few hills and get to the Convention. They didn’t count on the snow, or the wind, or the fact that neither of them have cell service.

And they definitely didn’t count on the fact that they would be hunted—stalked—as they sit, freezing and shaking, on the side of the road.

pairings: none

tags: angst hurt/comfort

warnings: none

Scarecrow Pose by ArdenSkyeHolmes221

summary: “J, you gotta help me.” Tony puffs air like he’s been a chain smoker all his life as he gasps on the hardwood floor. “Pete’s— Pete’s got too much energy.”

“If I may make a suggestion, sir, perhaps what young master needs is to channel his energy constructively.”

“Such— such as?”

“Perhaps yoga, sir?”

pairings: none

tags: fluff

warnings: none

A Pool For Two? by PinkEasterEggs

summary: Peter Stark knew that he wasn’t allowed outside their Malibu mansion without his father’s approval. But he decided that his dad couldn’t be too mad because all he wanted to do was splash about in the pool for a little while. Last summer Peter hadn’t been all that confident in the water, shying away from the newly built slides and rides. This year, however, Peter was older and far more experienced. And man did he wanna go down those water slides.

Peter just wants to go for a swim; too bad his dad stops him-- or does he?

pairings: none

tags: fluff

warnings: none

Better? by crowkag

summary: While Tony and Peter might be afraid of different things, what they have in common is where they go for comfort: each other.

pairings: none

tags: fluff, hurt/comfort

warnings: none

Two Vodka Martinis: Extra Dry, Extra Olives, Extra Fast by PinkEasterEggs

summary: “Well, Tony Stark, fancy seeing you here.”

Tony’s expression went blank as he searched the woman’s face, a hand moving out as he took a guess at her name. “. . . Karen.”

“Christine,” she spoke over him. “You have a lot of nerve showing up here tonight. Can i at least get a reaction from you?”

“Panic,” Tony supplied, looking to the side and trying his best not to look at his young son’s confused face. “I would say panic . . .”

Tony takes his son, Peter, to the Stark Industries' Annual Benefit for the Firefighter's Family Fund where they run into a face Tony would rather forget.

#4: Gala/ Press Event

pairings: pepperony

tags: fluff

warnings: none

Postage Parenting* by TheLastStraws

summary: In the silence of his lab, Tony slid the letter out from the envelope, aggravating the permanent creases to unfold it. He read it again. Well, he skipped down to the one sentence, looped in bubbly cursive handwriting, that sent him into a panicked, aggravated, and depressed tailspin these past few days. Just one sentence.

“I’m pregnant.”

(Tony discovers he's father to a precious, eleven-year-old Peter Parker a few months after the Battle of New York. A retelling/AU of Iron Man 3 and beyond.)

pairings: pepperony

tags: fluff

warnings: none

A Bite-Sized Experience by Buckets_Of_Stars

summary: When Tony mentioned to Peter one time that he knows how to make pasta-- not the shitty "get in a box at the store and heat up for 10 minuets" pasta-- but the real deal, Peter would not shut up about it. Honestly, it had started to drive Tony insane.

Tony's solution: Teach Peter how to make homemade spaghetti.

(Or: IronDad and SpiderSon make some food and shenanigans result)

pairings: none

tags: fluff

warnings: none

We'll get there someday Peter by Webtrinsic

summary: "It angered him. His son was not broken. No one would dare tell him otherwise"

pairings: none

tags: hurt/comfort

warnings: none

Damaged At Best (Like You've Already Figured Out) by JolinarJackson, ShoyzzArt

summary: ”Don’t come any closer,” Spider-Man said, his hand raised threateningly, his fingers resting against a trigger mechanism nestled into his palm. ”Alright,” Tony answered. For a moment, they looked at each other – Tony stuck to the wall on one side of the alley and Spider-Man stuck to the other – then Tony opened his helmet to show his face. ”Hey, there”, he said. ”Nice to finally meet you.”

---

The Avengers are left shaken in the aftermath of the Sokovia Accords. With half the team under house arrest at the Compound, Tony finds himself seeking refuge in Avengers Tower and starts forming a tentative friendship with the neighborhood vigilante Spider-Man. A friendship which is quickly threatened by Secretary Ross doubting Spider-Man’s intentions and integrity. Tony is left wondering who to trust, especially when Spider-Man manages to uncover the one secret Tony never wanted anyone to know about: the child Tony had with a woman named Mary Fitzpatrick sixteen years ago.

pairings: none

tags: angst

warnings: alcoholism

#mcu #irondad #irondad and spiderson #tony stark #peter parker #my fic recs #tw alcoholism

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avengerscompound · 4 years

Text

The Tower: The Queen of Asgard, 5

The Tower: The Queen of Asgard An Avengers Fanfic

Series Masterlist PREVIOUS //

Pairing: Avengers x OFC, Bruce Banner x Bucky Barnes x Clint Barton x Wanda Maximoff x Steve Rogers x Natasha Romanoff x Tony Stark x Thor x Sam Wilson x OFC (Elly Cooper)

Word Count: 1437

Warnings: none

Synopsis: The twins are now three and while the Avengers know that Clint and Thor are the biological father’s none of them know or care which blond, blue-eyed baby is related to which man. When Riley gets the power to control wind and it becomes evident that she is the heir to the Asgardian throne, Elly, Steve, Thor, and Tony take the twins to Asgard to train her.

Not every Asgardian is happy with their king’s choice of consort, nor the impurity of the heir’s blood. While others expect Thor to make things more official. What’s clear is, the role of Queen of Asgard is not easily filled.

Author’s Note: Written with @fanficwriter013 and her confused mouth

Chapter 5 - Puppies!

The following morning Clint, Bucky, and Thor took the kids out to a shelter that Tony had contacted. Apparently, there was a puppy mill that had been raided and now it was a little overloaded. In exchange for a rather large donation, the kids were getting a private tour and allowed to pick out a puppy without it getting out to anyone outside the family.

The rest of us spent the morning at work. I made sure I was back by lunchtime because I was super excited to see the new puppy. I had been wanting one more than the kids.

Natasha had the same idea and we were just thinking of going and making some lunch when the kids came charging into the living room. Bucky followed them in looking slightly amused and carrying two large dog beds. Clint came next with his arms laden down with bags. Finally came Thor holding two squirming puppies. One was a tiny, black, white, and tan Cavalier King Charles spaniel with big floppy ears and the other was a dalmatian with what looked almost like a paw print on its nose.

I jumped up from the couch and clapped my hands, not able to hold in my excitement. “Oh, no. Tony’s going to kill us.”

“They couldn’t decide and they gave daddy Thor this big, practiced - obviously practiced - twin, puppy dog eyes, and he just caved,” Bucky explained, putting the beds on the floor.

“Oh my goodness, you terrors,” I said, ruffling each of their hair. “Are you going to introduce me and mama to the puppies?”

Pietro took my hand and tugged on it while Riley bounced back to Thor like a kangaroo. I followed after her and held my arms out for a puppy. “You’re in so much trouble, Mister.”

Thor looked sheepish as he put the Cavalier into my arms.

“Dis one’s a…” Riley said and looked up at Clint like he might be able to fill in the word she couldn’t quite find.

“It’s a Cavalier,” Clint said. “I think they want to name it Cap. Or Colonel. They can’t quite seem to get the word they want.”

“He’s so cute,” I said, playing with his silky ears. “Can either of you even say Colonel?”

“No,” Clint laughed. “That’s why they haven’t decided.”

I took a seat on the ground and let the puppy into my lap. The twins came over, Riley flopping over my leg so she could pat him and Pietro lying down in front of me so that the puppy could lick his face. “You don’t want Cap either?”

“No,” Riley said. “Dat’s not it.”

The puppy started to sniff at the ground and looking at it nervously.

“Buck, if we have training pads, you might wanna put them out or someone’s gonna pee on the carpet,” I said.

Bucky immediately began rooting through the bags for the training pads and I went back to playing with the puppy’s ear. “What about Carol?” I asked.

Riley gave me a look like I was an idiot.

“What?” I laughed. “She’s a Cap and a Colonel.”

Riley shook her head firmly.

“Well what then, you say something,” I said.

Riley shook her head again and I picked her up and started tickling her. “What do you mean, no?” I said as she squealed and kicked her legs.

I put her back down and held my hands out to the other puppy. Thor put the dalmatian into my arms. “Oh my god, they are both so cute. Does this one have a name?”

“Get this,” Bucky said, chuckling. “Spotty.”

“Spotty? Her name is Spotty?” I asked as I patted both of them.

“Yup,” Bucky said, popping the p.

“Oh, goodness. What a perfect name, kiddos.” I said, kissing the puppy’s head.

“I think they want the Cavalier to have a fancier name,” Bucky said.

“Oh, a fancy puppy name,” I said, playing with his ears again. “What about duke?”

Riley and Pietro shook their heads.

“What about something Norse sounding? Like Loki’s puppy? Fenrir.” I said.

The twins looked at each other and Riley squeaked and nodded her head.

“You like Fenrir? Or something like that?” I asked.

“Like dat,” Pietro said.

I looked up at Thor. “Do you have any ideas.”

Thor took a seat and gave the puppy a pat while he thought. “Perhaps Tyr would fit.”

Riley and Pietro looked from the puppy to Thor and back to the puppy again. “Yep. Tyr.” Riley said.

“Welcome to the family, Tyr, and Spotty,” I said, patting them both. “Did you have fun picking them out? Were there lots to choose from?”

“Wots and wots,” Pietro said pushing his face between the puppies so they’d both lick him.

“Okay, kids. We have to figure out where these guys are going to sleep and eat, don’t we?” I said.

“Yeah, guys,” Bucky agreed, moving to sit next to me and taking Tyr. “What are we going to do with them?”

“Dey can sleep wif us,” Riley said.

“Yeah, dat’s good.” Pietro agreed.

Natasha started laughing and shook her head. “Well, that’s sorted.”

“We need to make sure they get taken out regularly,” I said.

“Every three hours at the very minimum.” Bucky agreed.

“And we need to train them so they can sit and walk on the lead and come when we call them,” I said.

“And they can come running with us. And play dead. And do yoga with Daddy Clint.” Bucky added.

I laughed. “Oh man, I just got the best mental image of them going under him while he’s doing bridge pose.”

“Or when he’s doing up dog, and the dog is on his back.” Bucky chuckled.

“It’s already super adorable when the kids are there trying to join in,” I said.

“Now the kids and the puppies,” Bucky said as he played with Tyr’s ears. He looked up at Clint and smiled. “It’ll be like herding cats, Clint.”

“We should get a cat too,” I said and both the kids started to bounce.

“Are you kidding?” Nat asked. “We already got two puppies. We’re already pressing our luck.”

I sighed. “Yeah, I guess. With the move and going away now’s probably not the best time for a cat anyway.”

“Nope,” Bucky said.

Tony appeared from the stairwell and stopped dead. He looked at the puppies and then at Thor who was still sitting opposite me. “I said one.”

“They gave Thor the puppy dog eyes,” Clint said with a shrug.

“Who let Thor go?” Tony said.

“The children couldn’t decide whether they wanted to stay and play with me or go and buy a puppy. So I decided it was best if I went with them so they could do both.” Thor said.

“In my experience, often when you expect one of something, multiples are pretty great,” I said.

“But I wasn’t even used to the idea of one dog,” Tony said.

“Yeah, well. You weren’t used to the idea of one romantic partner or one kid. But now look at you.” I teased.

Tony narrowed his eyes at me, then broke and started laughing. “You got me there.” He said and sat down on the couch behind me. “Alright kiddos, tell me about the puppies.”

The kids told them their names, while I leaned back against him and he started to play with my hair. The puppies both passed out in a pile on Bucky’s lap while the kids were talking and when they finished Pietro climbed up on Natasha and wrapped his arms around her neck and nuzzled into her.

“You a little tired, bud? Need a nap?” Tony asked.

He shook his head and Natasha rubbed his back. “He just wants to sit with Mama, isn’t that right?” Natasha said. He made a little grunt sound and patted her neck. “And if you fall asleep on Mama that’s okay too.”

He crawled up on her so she was supporting his weight a little more. “Think he’s going to fall asleep,” I said.

“Not tired,” He grumbled.

“Uh-huh. Not tired, little one. I think you’re exhausted.” Natasha teased.

“Nyet, mamochka,” Pietro said as he wriggled and seemed to burrow into her more. I started giggled and Natasha chuckled softly and whispered something to him in Russian. It wasn’t long until his breathing evened out.

“Three babies down, one to go,” Clint said.

“What about you, bug? Are you going to sleep?” Bucky asked.

Riley shook her head and started to climb up Thor. “Nope.” She said.

Thor chuckled and flipped her upside down. “She is most definitely my daughter.”

// NEXT

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