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paarthurnax59 · 1 year

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"Family Don't End In Blood"

Chapter 2

Warnings: angst, arguments, mention of abortion, violence, blood and kidnapping.

word count: 5779

Chapter 1

“I don’t want us to have kids.”

That one sentence echoed in your mind so loudly. Like if Dean had been standing in a cave and had just shouted the words, it would still not nearly be as loud as it was in your mind. Your face was blank and growing more pale. Mind now empty from the horror that you were facing. You felt sick, sicker than before you found out you were pregnant. Your stomach was doing somersaults making the unpleasant feeling so much worse. You couldn’t breathe, you sat still while you looked at Dean with your jaw dropped.

He didn’t want kids and here you were about to tell him that you were pregnant. Whichever god, deity or higher power that oversaw weaving the events of your life, truly had a sick sense of humor. You wish this were a nightmare. That at any moment you would wake up and in bed with Dean and you surprise him with a special gift that would say “World’s best dad” and he would shed tears of joy. Sam would be hugging you and excited about becoming an uncle and Castiel wanting to be your child’s guardian angel. Your friends would throw you a baby shower and having to drag Dean to it. Maybe bribing him with pie. Months later, you finally deliver your baby and Dean smiling down proudly at your child as he kissed your forehead. You smile contently as you fell asleep after hours of being in labor.

How you wished that was the reality. For Dean to be happy about being a father and you a mother. Yet, that wasn’t the reality that you want. Your own personal hell and nightmare was. Dean didn’t want to have kids with you, or at all. His mind was set on this and once Dean’s mind was made up, it’s damn near impossible to change.

absolute and full-on non-negotiable

You heard him right, and when Dean says something was absolute, he meant it. You didn’t know that to do. You were already pregnant, and you didn’t have the chance to tell him. You honestly don’t have any idea why he brought it up and why he had suddenly made this decision. Dean loved kids and so did you. He was always good with young kids and even wanted to help raise Ben. Yes, it wasn’t ideal to raise children in the hunter life. If it ever came to be, you would quit the hunter life if it meant raising your children in safety. You now had some stability and a home to call your own since your father’s house had burned down. What had changed his mind?

“What? Why not?” You asked wanting to know why the father of your unborn baby of why didn’t want kids.

“You know the hunt we were just on? The hunt with pregnant women that had gone missing?” He asked in return to help you get a good picture

“Yes.” You answered him.

“When we first go there, we started at the police station and found all of the addresses of the homes these pregnant women lived at.” He began softly, a sad expression was clear on his face. “I interviewed the husbands and boyfriends, and…I met this one guy that said that he and his wife had multiple miscarriages. And they were finally expecting, and she was far along. It was close to her due date, around eight months. I have seen a guy look so distraught.” When Dean explained to you about what went down, your heart broke. To have had a series of miscarriages and when finally, been gifted the miracle of life, something comes in and took that away from a happy couple. “We found through our research that it was a demon that gets it’s power from the essence of newborn children. A Lamia, by the look of it. She was undercover at one the clinic that was helping these pregnant women. She impersonated a nurse to get their medical information to search out these women during their third trimester. The clinic had no idea a demon was working with them.”

“My god.” You uttered while looking at Dean in shock and sadness. “Did you find the mother?”

“Yes, but…She was gone and so was her baby.” He sated, looking down at the table.

“You mean…” You try to finish while not wanting to hear the rest of what Dean was going to say.

“Yes, She died. And what I saw…was…” He tried to get out and his breath hitched. You can tell he didn’t want to give the details. “She was butchered, like she was some sort of science experiment. You have no idea how hard it was to tell her husband his wife and child were gone.” Dean was trying to hold back all the emotions and it showed. His tears were brimming with fresh tears. He didn’t go into further detail, and you most certainly didn’t want to hear about what happened to the baby. You just couldn’t image the horror of what Dean had seen. Without thinking you secretly placed your stomach, without Dean noticing. The need and desire to protect your baby had grown stronger when you heard Dean talk about his experience.

“Did you find the demon?” You asked quietly with your hand still on your non-existent bump.

“Yes, we iced the bitch and her minions fled after I put the bullet in her brain.” Dean leaned back and his face became where more stonelike when you mentioned the demon. You were relived at that, at least. The fewer of these monsters, the better. “When we drove back, I talked to Sam and venting out my emotions. I didn’t want to go through something like that. I don’t want to especially see you go through that. I don’t know what would happen if I lost you. Especially like that.” Dean said as he grabbed your free hand as your other hand laid on your belly. You truly saddened on how badly this had gotten to Dean. Hell, it was getting you to you too.

“Dean, this is a serious decision. I understand the risks of raising a family in the life. But, I can protect myself. I am a hunter, Dean. I have been raised this life. That poor woman you mentioned, had no clue of what was going to happen. We do. We know what’s out there and the monsters.” You try reasoning with him. Dean’s resolve always seems to crumble when it came to you. You were the only person that could break his walls and even somehow remotely change his mind on things. Which it was impressive considering how stubborn Dean can be. Seeing as you were going to have a child, you might as well try to change his mind. “Plus, we have the Bunker. It the safest and most secure place in the world. If that place isn’t safe for a child, then where?” You finally let go of your pregnant belly and then grabbed Dean’s hand. Looking deep in his eyes and smiled at him. “Was this really because of one hunt, Dean? I understand about what you had gone through and…” But before you could say anything else, Dean lets his hand slip from yours and gives you the cold glare. It was a look that you never thought Dean could give you.

“(Name), are you seriously saying that we should have a baby? To raise them in the life? To put their safety, happiness, and well-being on the line, just so we could be parents? I’m Sorry, honey, but that is honestly the most self-centered thing you could say.” Dean growled, looking at you like you were going insane. For the first time in forever, Dean had hurt you with his own words. “You know what it was like being raised in this life. You know what I had been through. The kind of life that my father raised us in and yours. Not only is it not ideal, it’s selfish.”

“But, you helped raise Ben. You got out and we can too if it comes to that.” You try to reason with him once, hoping that way you could have the courage to tell him you were pregnant. Ben loved Dean, he might not have been his father but there was no doubt Dean did what he could to protect Ben and Lisa. He cared for them like his own family.

“Yeah, look how that turned out!” He shot you down in a loud tone, making you jolt up in shock from his heated demeanor. The people in the diner started to look at you two, Dean noticed and tries to quiet down his voice. “I was pulled back into the life, there is no escaping it, (Name). I almost killed Ben when I was a vampire, Lisa got kidnaped by Crowley and had to erase their memories, forever. I was scared out of my mind and had to say goodbye to the people that I had considered family.” As he explained to you in a more hushed but no less angry. Apparently, that experience still got to Dean and “I don’t want to put the life of child at risk. I could barely protect Sam and you; you think I can protect our kids? No, I can’t. I’m sorry, (Name), but there is no way I’m going to put an innocent life in danger like this. I am not going through something like that. I will not raise a kid in the life. I rather die the next day, than risk my child’s life and watch them die. I don’t want to have kids, (Name). That’s final.” Dean said as if he was setting his words in stone. The commitment in his argument seemed to be absolute and there was no changing it. It scared you, Dean at that moment, terrified you. For the first time in your life, you didn’t know what to so regarding the man you fell in love with. Most importantly, you didn’t know what to do about the life growing inside of you. One is for sure, you can’t tell Dean. You just can’t, not right now at least.

You looked down and took a deep breath before saying anything.

“Okay, Dean. I’m sorry for fighting you on this.” You somberly apologize to your boyfriend, feeling incredibly defeated. Dean nodded and grabbed the burger and took a bite, you both ate in silence, not speaking to each other after that. What you both didn’t see was a pair of black eyes looking straight at you and your sad face, with a wide, wicked grin plastered on her face.

….

Dean’s PoV

The drive back to the bunker was silent. Nothing but uncomfortable dead air between the two of as both of them drove back home. The radio played on as (Name) looked out the window and kept her eyes away from her boyfriend. Dean, feeling a twinge of guilt over the way he reacted over her trying to change his mind. His brain was now chastising him for calling her self-centered and selfish because she may want to become a mother. There was nothing wrong with that it was human nature for a woman to want to have children. He couldn’t blame her and saying she was selfish was uncalled for. He just didn’t know why she was trying to fight him on this so much. They were always able to be on the same page with everything. Why is she fighting with him now?

He knew he had to get her to see his side of it. She had to know that raising a kid in this life is just out of the question. His upbringing had such an influence on him that the dream of having children was dead. There was a time where he wanted kids. He loved them and honestly thought (Name) would be the one to give him that. But after everything that he went through as a child, having to raise Sam by himself and all the things that he had seen happened to innocent children, that wasn’t possible for him. That hunt he went one just killed it for him, he had never seen anything like that. He knows he wouldn’t make a good father. He was so sure of it and she needed to see that. He loved her and wanted her to stay with him. If can just get her on board, then things will get better between them. They can go back to talk with one another. She will get over it in time he convinced himself. she was always resilient, so she can let of this dream of hers. Dean looked back to his girlfriend and turned off the radio so he could talk to her.

“Look, sweetheart. I’m sorry for the way I acted back there. Yelling at you is something that I didn’t want to do, and I shouldn’t have embarrassment you like that. You’re not selfish or self-centered. You’re the best person that I know and you didn’t deserve that.” He spoke softly as he looked the girl he loved. She didn’t say anything other than nodded at him with her chin be held up by her hand. (Name) continued to look out the window as Dean continued the conversation, even though she wasn’t responding to back to him. “But...I really need you to be on board with this. You had no idea how hard it would be to raise a child together. I mean, me and Sam are considered deceased in the eyes of the law. We won’t be able to find jobs, get a house or even take our kids to school. If we didn’t have the Bunker, we would still be jumping from motel to motel all the time. People are going to be asking questions about our lives and one day will ask what our kid’s parents do for a living and will expose the hunting life. They might even think we are crazy and CPS might take our kid away. Me and Sammy were almost taken from our dad when were little, and then had to leave so that the cops wouldn’t find us. You want that? You really want for our kid?” Dean tried to get through to her one more time, hoping this could help her deal with the fact that he didn’t want to have kids.

“No, I don’t.” She said gloomily not looking at him. Dean would normally be angry if someone weren’t giving him answers to his questions and not look at him. However, this was (Name) he was talking to. She was the one person to break down his walls. He couldn’t be cold towards her, he just couldn’t. “I get it you went through a ton of crap and don’t want to repeat history.” She finished, but still refused to look at Dean. Feeling sad and guilty, Dean grabbed her hand and stroked it with his large thumb. (Name) had now finally looked at him with her (e/c) eyes and could see the sadness in them. Dean’s heart broke when he looked at her. She looked disheartened by what he told her. He had to try to make it better. Maybe taking some time off from hunting and spending time together. They could use a few days off from the life and try to be normal for a while.

“How about we take a break, honey? Spend some time together? We can find something to do and have some fun okay?” Dean asked with that sweet smile that (Name) had loved so much. She took a deep breath and nodded.

“Okay. Sounds like a good idea.” She replied, sounding like she had nothing else to say. Dean then took his hand away and he placed both his hands on the steering wheel as the Bunker came to view.

….

Normal POV.

You didn’t sleep at all that night. Not even with Dean by your side, you just couldn’t let your eyes shut and drift off to sleep. Dean tried to get you to talk to him as much as possible, to try and steer away from the conversation away from the whole baby situation. He had failed so after the first few hours before dinner. Sam also noticed your strange behavior and saw how much you were ignoring Dean. You had told Sam that Dean didn’t want kids back when you went out to lunch. Sam knew that what is was about and figured you would be upset about it. He was the only other person Dean told that he didn’t want to have kids. You at least ate your fill of food because of the fact you were pregnant and needed to take care of your baby, the baby that Dean didn’t want. After you ate you went back to your room and decided to read a book until night fall. Dean finally came in and changed into his pajamas. He told you he loved you before you said your good nights and you returned with it with a soft kiss to his lips. After hours of failed attempts of trying to sleep, You looked at Dean again. He was fast asleep with his arm around you and his face buried in your hair. You turned your head away from him and slowly removed his arm from you. Carefully getting up from the bed you looked at your phone to look at the clock.

1:34 A.M.

You placed your phone down and got up, knowing that you weren’t going to be getting as much sleep as you would like. You carefully opened the door to yours and Dean’s room and walked out to the kitchen. Once you went to the kitchen, you went straight to the fridge and pulled out pickles and peanut butter form the cabinet. One thing you could never get used to being pregnant, were the weird cravings. Without hesitation, you opened the jar of peanut butter and took a knife you had gotten out from the drawers. Taking a large pickle, you spread the peanut butter on the pickle. You then took a large bite out of the pickle and for some strange reason, the bizarre treat made you moan in pleasure. Pregnancy, it does weird things to a woman. You were about to take another bite when a familiar voice spooked you from behind.

“(Name).” The gruff voice called you, making you jump and drop your midnight snack. You whipped your whole body to see that it was Castiel right behind you, doing what he always did to you and the boys, scaring the living daylights out of you.

“Jeeze, Cas!” You yell whispered when you saw the trench coat wearing angel in front of you. “Why do you do that?! Warn a girl next time!”

“Pardon my intrusion on your…” He looked at what was looking down at the food you dropped and back at you. “Nourishment? I know I am not knowledgeable about human cuisine, but I’m sure pickles and peanut butter sound awful together.” He observed as you picked up the pickle and threw in in the trash.

“Yeah, I know. But I can’t help it, Cas.” You walked away and washed your hands again so that you can’t another peanut butter covered pickle. The cravings just would let up, even though you weren’t hungry. “Where were you?”

“I was in Israel, it’s officially heaven’s business so I can’t reveal much.” Castiel answered with a dull and gruff response.

“I guess. Now can you please leave so that I can eat my midnight snack in peace?” You snapped but then regrated snapping at your friend when you saw the hurt look on his face. “I’m sorry, Cas. I’m just having a rough week.”

“I can see that, and I can see that you are not being yourself. Your mood has changed much, and your appearance seemed…altered.” Castiel noted making you look at him slightly nervous. You stayed calm, not wanting him to grow more suspicious of your condition.

“Like what?” You asked.

“Your face is more flushed, your more irritated and then return to your normal self within a second and you seem have this aura around you. A glow you would say.” Castiel explained and you look up at him, your eyes round like saucers.

“What do you mean ‘glow’, Cas?” You asked.

“The glow of new life.” Castiel avowed making you squirm. “New life that is growing inside of you, (Name). You are with child.” Castiel correctly analyzed and your jaw dropped.

“How did you know?” You asked, feeling like the air had left your lungs.

“I can feel a second heartbeat coming it from you, and the lifeforce is very strong and pure. The light of every expecting human mother has throughout their pregnancy. The child is Dean’s, I am sure?” He asked a little too loud for your taste and covered his mouth with a sush.

“Keep it down, or Sam or Dean are going to here you!” In a loud whisper while you kept your hand on Castiel’s mouth. “Yes, it is Dean’s but I haven’t told him yet.”

“Why not? I am sure Dean would be jovial about you expecting his child.” He asked while being genuinely confused.

“Because Dean told me at lunch yesterday that he doesn’t want child. Ever.” You retorted bitterly when you then chopped on another pickle covered in peanut butter.

“Ever?” Castiel raised an eyebrow at your statement, taken aback by what Dean had told you.

“Yes and he said his decision was ‘Absolute and full-on non-negotiable’.” You mocked your boyfriend’s words using air quotes and took another bite of your pickle, not caring how disgusting the idea of eating a pickle with peanut butter on it.

“So, Dean isn’t going to change mind on it huh?” Castiel asked while your crunched on your snack and shook your head and rolled your eyes. “Then, want are you going to do? You and I both know how stubborn Dean is, and he’s not going to budge. When he decides on something, he is unlikely to change his mind.”

“I know Cas!” You whined while you turned away from him and placed you hand on your head in frustration, groaning in frustration at what to do about your difficult position. “I have no idea what to do. I’m pregnant with Dean’s child! A child he doesn’t want! He told me that we shouldn’t be having a kid as hunters. I thought that I could convince him to leave the hunting life! That we can live normal life, but no! he said that there is no way he would be able to leave the life permanently! And it’s true! No matter how bad it was, he will always be pulled back into the life, one way or another! Our kid will never be safe!” You whispered yelled again, trying to make sure that you stayed quiet so that you wouldn’t wake Dean or Sam up. “You remembered what happened to Lisa and Ben, you are the one that erased their memories and Dean had to say goodbye, forever. I don’t want that to happened and I don’t to risk my child’s life.” You wanted to cry right then and there as the tears began to surface in your eyes. It seemed like all your emotions that you had bottled up for the past week were piling up. Now, you had just gotten the news that the love of your life doesn’t want kids, breaking your heart, while pregnant with his child. You start to weep silently but horribly. Covering your face with your hands, sobbing your aching heart out. Castiel, feeling every emotion that’s troubling you, walked up to you and embraced you in a tight hug. You wrapped your arms around Castiel’s shoulders, trying to find some sort of comfort from one of your best friends. You cried in Castiel’s chest staining his shirt. You were truly lost at what to do about your situation. Until, Castiel had spoken up and it made you wish he didn’t mention it.

“There is another option, (Name).” Castiel uttered quietly and then you looked up at him with a tear-stained face.

“What?” you speak up after crying your eyes out.

“You could get a-”

“No!” You yell-whisper as you pushed him away from you, knowing very well what he was suggesting.

“Why?! (Name), you’re not seriously considering of having this baby?!” Castiel kept his voice low as he yelled but the anger was clear on his voice.

“I’m not killing my baby, Cas.” You cried, feeling offended that the angel would even contemplate something as heartless as what Castiel was proposing. You knew what he was talking. He was asking you to abort your child. Castiel’s tone and expression came back to a calmer and more compassionate demeanor, regretting he even brought it up.

“I understand, (Name). I’m sorry for even considering it. But you need to know Dean is not going to change his mind. His stubbornness knows no bounds, and so will his anger when he finds out that you had been hiding this pregnancy from him.” He stated truthfully. “There is still time to consider your options. I suggest you do it before Dean finds out, or you may pay a much bigger price then what you feared, (Name).” Castiel walked away from you to who knows where, leaving you alone. The feeling of hopelessness overwhelmed you as you placed you hand on your stomach. What are you going to do?

….

You went to back to bed with Dean, while trying to keep your distance from him. Still not getting a wink of sleep, you nevertheless got up when morning came and took a shower. You felt like you were on autopilot after your conversation with Castiel throughout the entire week. You barely spoke to Dean and shot down any date night ideas. When Dean tried to give you physical affection and you had been pushing him away. Growing tired already of your attitude, he confronted you about it.

“(Name), I have had enough of this. I’m tired of this silent treatment you had been giving me for the past week.” Dean snarled at you while you and making a list for your weekly supply run. You didn’t look at him as you replied to him.

“Dean, I really am not in the mood right now. I need to figure out what we need for the rest of the week.” You huffed at your boyfriend while going over the list you made. You wanted to go to the store so that you could clear your head from all the drama that you had been experiencing. It wasn’t good for your or the baby to be feeling stressed out. Dean, not appreciating his girlfriend’s indifference from him, grew angry. To get you to speak it him, he grabbed the list. Making you yelled and reach out for the piece of paper. “Dean! Give that back!”

“Not until you talk to me, (Name)! I’m not going to stand you ignoring me anymore and I have to know what is that matter with you!” He shot back as he took the list far out of your reach. You decided to relent and folded your arms, looking to get this talk with Dean over with.

“Fine, go ahead.” You demanded.

“You have been really snippy with me lately and have been shooting down date nights and barely even let me hold you or touch you for the past week. Whenever I try to ask you what is wrong, you just barked at me and tell me to leave you alone. I feel like we are not even together anymore because of how distant you have become and it’s frankly getting to me!” He vented at you, while you stood as still as a statue looking at him. Dean’s expression soften a little, knowing that being cross with you was not going to work. You were your father’s daughter after all and Bobby never liked Dean talking back to him. “Please, just tell me what’s going on. It’s killing me that you aren’t talking to me. Did I say something? Do something? Is it the whole baby situation?” Dean begged as he began to let himself get more emotional and it made you feel a bit sorry for him. Does he really deserve this neglect that you had been giving him? No, Dean was a good person and it’s not his fault for him not wanting kids due his childhood. You understand him, you really do. No one wants to repeat the cycle of bad childhood experiences. It still doesn’t help the fact you were pregnant and refuse to tell him. It hurt too much to know that he won’t accept his own child.

‘Maybe you just need some more time, you will tell him when the time is right.’

Your conscious trying to reason and calm you from getting too heated, needing to think about the baby. You sigh sadly and dropped your arms to side. You don’t want to continue to fight with him, not when you loved him this much. In time, you will tell him and then you both can decide on what to do.

“Dean, I’m sorry. I didn’t to make you feel like you weren’t loved and neglected. I do love you. I know you said you don’t want kids, and I understand. I just feel disappointed is all.” You said, feeling guilty that you were not telling Dean the whole truth. You feel like you were lying to him and that made you feel like the worst girlfriend ever. “I just need some air and being in this bunker is not good for me. When I get back from the grocery store, we can go out, Okay?” You sweetly asked him with a small smile to him. Dean relaxed and returned the smile as he gave you the list you were working on. Once he gave you back the piece of paper. You grabbed your jacket and purse before giving Dean a kiss on the lips before heading to the Bunker door. “I’ll see you later, okay?”

“Okay, Love you.” He said looking at you with as you walked out the door.

….

You walked through the aisles of the store, nearly almost done getting your supplies for the week. You were now in the bakery section of the store looking at the different varieties of pie being sold in the bakery. You eyed one delicious looking apple pie freshly baked on the rack. You thought about getting it for Dean, hoping it might cheer him up after all the drama between you two. You asked the nice elderly woman if she could box up the pie you were eying. She packed the box right away and you said thank you for her help when you put the pie in the cart. You began to walk toward the frozen aisle to get the ice cream for the pie when someone had got in front of you. You bumped into them and looked up to see a dark-haired woman with tan skin standing in front of you.

“Oh! I’m sorry! I didn’t see you there. Are you okay?” You asked the lady in front of you.

“I’m fine, but I’m afraid I can’t say the same for you, (Name) Singer.” She said and blink her once golden-brown eyes and suddenly turned to pitch black. Your eyes grew wide and by pure instinct, you opened your flask and threw some Holy water on the demon woman, making her scream. You ran from the scene and suddenly heard the woman screaming from the aisle. “GET HER!” Screamed the demon as a few other demons began to run after you and all the parking lot. You reached for the impala when you were caught by a pair of strong arms.

“There is no escape for you, little girl!” Sneered the male demon that was holding you hostage. Knowing that you need to protect your baby, you reached for your demon knife and with all your strength to stab the demon in the eye. He cried out as you pulled the demon knife from his eye and kicked him out of the way. You quickly got into the car and started the engine. You left the parking lot and drove off back to the bunker. You picked up your cellphone to call Dean to tell him what had happened.

“(Name)! what up?” Dean answered the call after the first ring.

“Dean, I just got ambushed by a bunch of demons at the supermarket! They’re after me!” You panicked into your cellphone keeping your eyes on the road.

“What?! Are you okay?! Where are you?!” Dean yelled worriedly through the t other line as you looked back to see a couple of cars speeding towards you and looked back and gasp when you saw two other cars that suddenly appeared out of nowhere, stopping you from going any further. You dropped the Cellphone, with Dean still on the other line. “(Name)! what happened?!” Dean continued to yell on th phone while a large black guy came at your door and ripped the door open while a white guy that was equal to his size grabbed you from your seat and dragged you out.

“Let me go!!! The Winchesters are going to kill you when they find you!” You threatened as you struggled in the arms of the man holding you. A car pulled up as more people got out of the cars. You figured that they were all demons. The car pulled forward and out came the woman you splashed holy water at the store. You scowled at the demoness as she stepped closer to you. “Dean will find me and when he does, he’s going to kill you.” You threaten and all the demons snickered at you.

“Where we are taking you, Dean won't have a God damn chance of finding you. When we are finished with you, we will send you back to him piece by piece.” She smirked as she looked behind you at the demon that was holding you. She nodded and sudden intense pain hit you. Everything turned black making you completely helpless at the hands of demons that could do anything to you.

Chapter 3

#angst #steve x reader #the avengers #supernatural #dean winchester #marvel #captain america fluff #dean winchester angst #steve rogers fluff

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