A moth I mistook for a spider wafts through my room;
I should be asleep but I am
I have asked and
A woman from the 3rd story said,
“If you don’t get what you want…take it.”
And she laughed.
Lindsay so perfectly summarizes so much of what I felt at the end of GOT. My ramblings about inconsistencies rang true to most die hard GOT fans, but to more casual watchers, this better summarizes where the writers failed.
Imagine being gifted, literally handed on a silver platter, the perfect opportunity for revenge and justice in a movie with Nebula finally getting to kill her abusive father who tortured her for years and deciding you have a BETTER option and you kill Tony Stark with a snap instead. A man with very few ties to Thanos as a villain and who really could have been killed off any other way.
Mad Girl’s Love Song
i think i made you up inside my head,
i only see you when i’m in my bed,
in shades of blue and red.
I want to break the concrete.
I want to kiss your face, first.
I want to pour cement over my fist as it sits inside yours.
I want to play Agnes on my drive to you, on repeat, like I did last time.
I’ll drive slow enough to keep safe the deer and frogs and o’possums crossing, and I’ll drive just fast enough to still be late.
But maybe an acceptable level of late.
I’m sorry I’m always late.
Maybe I won’t be this time.
Maybe I’ll pour in like a cool breeze and wake you up, make you laugh, make you feel something new.
I want to press a thousand words into your ears and have them all mean the same thing.
I want your heart to drop when you hear me say your name, because it is candied in my breath and you’ve suddenly got the biggest sweet tooth.
I want to know you. Know you know-you.
I want you to know me. Know-me know me.
I want you to feel listened to.
I wanted to show you guys some of the shit I used to write, because I feel like you could do with some laughs. Unfortunately, I burned all my original works written at age seven in the last bonfire we had (and I’m not sorry) so instead, I’ll be treating you to some of the shitty warrior cats fanfiction I wrote aged ten!
…I’m going to regret this later…
Prologue; an excerpt
…The first cat spoke up. “No trouble has come for our clans. We can foresee none, and there is none now. The clans are at peace.” (As you can see, my fanfiction was really plot driven).
“But what of these cats that have the blood of every Clan? That is sure to cause trouble.” (Looking back on this, I just want to know which cat went and fell in love with cats from every single fucking Clan… probably a ThunderClan…)
“As I said before, Shadow, there has been none foreseen.”
“But Thunder!” Shadow’s voice rose to a high wail. “How can you tell that you did not look properly?!” (Look at this clever foreshadowing, I was a genius, a master of words-)
“Shadow is right, Thunder. Anything could rise out of the darkness and swarm around the Clans.” The third cat agreed.
The fourth and final cat spoke up. “Shadow and River are right, Thunder.” (Repetitive dialogue? Me? Never…) “There are always troubles for the Clans.” (We have become self aware apparently).
“I admit I was wrong, Wind.” Thunder said. “There will always be cold, hard leaf-bares. Always badgers and foxes. We just need to know how to survive them.”
“Let the Clans remain strong! Let new kits be born! Let them thrive!” River yowled.
Together, River, Thunder, Shadow and Wind left the clearing and went to StarClan camp… (I’m gonna cut out this part here, becaue it’s really long and it’s just talking about how nothing bad will ever happen again) …Suddenly, ten cats came in. (Just like that?)
“We think we have a right to be here!” One said. “We are Clan leaders. We believe we have a deal to make.”
“Our names are Forest, Lightning, Sun, Moon, Light, Dark, Ocean, Mountain and Sky.” Said one.
“Sky,” Thunder murmured. “Sky! Where is sky?!” He yowled. “I know you,” He said to Sky,
“Yes,” She replied. “We are the Lost Clans.”
So? Would you read it (I’m dying of laughter here).
The term “bad writing” gets thrown around when the reality is that it’s not bad writing, you just didn’t like it.
The Prequels gave Anakin Skywalker a backstory and fleshed out characterization beyond the mask of Darth Vader and made people think of him as a hero and made them care about what happens to him? Bad writing.
Tony Stark’s story is not that of a typical hero, but is instead the story of a man who discovered that he made a mistake and, having never had to face consequences before, has no idea what he’s doing and so his attempts at reinventing himself and becoming a hero go increasingly wrong when left to his own devices? Bad writing.
Daenerys’ sense of right and wrong and what she’s entitiled to and what she isn’t is scewed because of her history as the daughter of a rightfully deposed dynasty, and continues to be scewed as she conquers but never rules and is validated by people encouraging her along this path to take back the throne, until it twists her into becoming the very thing she swore she wouldn’t be? Well, it didn’t start out as bad writing, at any rate.
Bad writing is giving a character a backstory that does not inform their decisions as they go forward. Anakin’s backstory of slavery, being ripped away from his mother, freeing himself (but not really, see my comments on the treatment of Jedi by the Republic), having his mother die a brutal, horrible death in his arms, informs how he goes into being Darth Vader. An example of bad writing in a backstory: ???? I’m still thinking. It’s rare to find a character whose backstory does not inform their actions and interactions outside of fanfiction, mostly because that’s what the story is based on, usually.
Bad writing is when a character, a main character, doesn’t develop at all. Remember: backwards development is still development. A character who tries to change and fails is still development. An example of no development: Katniss. Susanne Collins’ attempts to not put Katniss in a situation where she would have to directly kill someone, despite that being the set up of the story, were, frankly, ridiculous. Katniss was the same person when she left the arena as when she went in, but, oh! We’ve gained a romance? It would have been amazing to see Katniss develop psychologically to be a killer, perhaps dissociating by thinking of the others as animals - because she does have a background as a hunter - and justifying all her actions as “they’re making me/have to get back to Prim, etc.” But we don’t get that. (Disclaimer: I’m only going off the first book, because that’s the only one I read.)
Bad writing is when a character does an about-face turn with no apparent lead up. Example: Thorin in the Hobbit movies. There were so many oppurtunities to show him having the potential to fall, or slowly falling to the Goldsickness the closer they got to Erebor, or even showing the progression once they got to Erebor. Instead there was a convenient time skip and by the time Fili and Kili got to the mountain, Thorin was in full Goldsickness mode without even a hint of it beforehand.
According to the time-stamp on this file, I screencapped and wrote the red text on it on 5/12.
Anyway, this just shows how shamelessly Crapcom wastes characters because they suck at storytelling.
In 4 and in 5, they didn’t even use characters that were already THERE, like Trish & Lady. They’re reduced to boring side characters who just say a few lines of dialogue and we never see them do anything cool.
RIP to all the shows, books, and movies that had amazing plotline potential and could have been great if not for their creators/creators’ bosses being petty, misguided, or flat-out terrible
I’ve Come to a Realization
2019 has made me into a cynic. Between Game of Thrones, Godzilla: KOTM, and The Lion King remake, I’ve been reduced to the walker bearing Granny yelling at uninspired hack writers to get off my lawn.
And no, it’s not fun being negative. Everyone else has no issues with what’s been happening in media, and I’m the ass that’s smoking in the corner looking like a tired Ben Affleck.
(Except Game of Thrones. Everyone hates how that ended.)
But hey, now I can use this gif unironically.
People who actually watch Riverdale, like, regularly, is this not how the teenagers on that show talk:
In fact, is this not how the writing is on that show in general?
Your stretch marks
They were these little lines above you hips, in that moment you became charming to me. It made me want to put my arms around you. But my heart has to be still.
There are stories that make you go “yeah, this was written by a child” and then there are stories that make you go “I hope to God this was written by a child.”
*takes a drag of juul * cauliflower sprouts, huh? Haven’t heard that name in ages.