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#BAD WRITING

Originally posted by annieliinaa

My breath freezes in my chest. All the noises and lights fade into the rush of blood in my ears. He’s not supposed to be here. He’s not supposed to be here with her. “Alex?” I whisper. That’s all I can manage. He turns around lazily with his hand resting underneath her shirt and just looks at me. I can smell the alcohol from where I am and I think that’s what does it. Everything goes numb as I watch him roll his eyes at me. He slurs my name over and over and it sounds angrier the more he says it. It makes me flinch but I don’t think he notices. The girl beside him, already half inside him, notices. She leers at me and it occurs to me that she knows. She knows that he was moaning my name yesterday. She knows that half of my closet is filled with his clothes. She knows that he is supposed to be mine.

“What are you doing, Alex?” it comes out as a whisper again.

“What does it look like?” he waves a hand in front of the girl and she winks. I don’t say anything, I’m not sure what I’m supposed to say anyway. “She’s better than you. She’s better in every way,” he says again. The words tumble out of drunken lips but that doesn’t mean they are any less true. I’ve been waiting on him to decide that he wanted someone else. It’s a miracle we made it this long in the first place. “You aren’t good enough anymore. Go home,” he throws at me one last time before he turns around. I stand there for a second longer to make sure that he isn’t going to turn around and this was supposed to be a twisted sort of prank. He doesn’t turn around so I do. I turn around and walk out with his words rattling around inside my head. They change from his voice to my parents’ voices, back to his and then finally mine. You’re not good enough You’re not good enough I’ve never been good enough I shove it away, the way I’ve done it before until it is barely a mumble at the back of my mind. I go home and methodically, robotically, I put all of his things in a bag. I take his t-shirts out of the drawers and fold them into the bag. I drop his deodorant and toothbrush in there too. I pack and pack until all that’s left are the bare bones of me. Who am I without him? I shake my head as I look around the apartment. My apartment. It was never his. I was never his. I simply wanted to be. He was a mess and hurting and he needed me. We were friends but I wanted to be more. I thought loving him would be enough. I should have known nothing I do is ever enough. I sigh and flop into my bed. These feelings, these thoughts, they’re nothing new. They almost provide comfort with how familiar they are. Almost. I pull the comforter up over my head and make a promise in the dark to not let them consume me again.

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avissText

I was in an interactive theatre play today, a Murder Mystery, where we were placed in groups to follow the actors and then try to solve the crime. It was a hoot, honestly, and had some pretty interesting moments. 

The thing is, the premise of the story is a woman witnessed a crime 50 years ago or so, now she just passed away without ever resolving the crime. So she hires in her will an investigator (paranormal investigator, so he can tell her on the other side, it was funny like that) to find out who the culprit was. 

I’m not going to get into the plot, the fun fact was that we had to talk to characters and gather clues and in the end, point out who we thought was the killer. One of the characters who might be a suspect is the witness who becomes the old lady in the end.

At no point whatsoever in the narrative they leave any clue that she might know what’s happening. They repeatedly tell you she knows nothing and she’s basically the investigator alongside with you. 

At the end of the play, just as they were going to reveal who the murderer was (I got it right!) a big chunk of people, and I mean at least 20%, pointed at the woman as the suspect. And their only reason for it was, it would be shocking! 

Nothing points out to that character, and it would make no sense whatsoever for a person who died before finding out the murderer and hired a paranormal investigator so she could just know from beyond the grave (silly premise, I know, but fun) to have been the murderer herself. 

But hey, it would be shocking! So it must be her! because what TV is now teaching us that shock value is rated over common sense or good , so let’s go with the one that would make the least possible sense of all the answers. 

Actually, these guys knew how to write better than a certain pair, it turned out the clues pointed at the real killer and everything made sense. 

It wasn’t shocking, but it was satisfying. 

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ejzahText

Why am I so terrible at writing necessary exposition and backstory? In my head it sounds great, written out it’s the worst thing I’ve ever read.

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Me and a fifth of scotch were just celebrating another night short on sleep but long on dark memories when he breezed into my office like the wind before a summer thunderstorm, cool, but with a hint of the danger and electricity that followed him…

…. sorry. I saw this picture and was forced to start a bad noir detective novel. I think I am better now.

He was average height, but that was the only thing average about him. His powerful build and the confidence in his stance all but screamed that he knew his way around a fight, but it clashed hard with the vulnerability written all across his face. Taking in that look combined with his full lips, as soft and pink as cherry blossoms, and those green/blue eyes that radiated enough intensity to light this whole dismal town, I knew immediately that I was already in over my head…

…. er- maybe I should go lay down until the noir goes away. :”)

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I want you terribly, want like

the fourth-grade four-leaf clover found, encased in tape, brought

home in a ziplock and lost when I

showed you after getting off the bus, how

I tried to recreate them with

a three-leaf clover and one-leaf stolen from a second, and

my numbers fell but the tape held the

mockery, transfixed, a farce, a hybrid

is that all we are now

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I guess GoT fans now see what Voltron fans were given.

Seriously this trend of crap endings and then blaming fans “expectations” is childish. Like yeah you don’t have to obey the fans every demand but perhaps take cues to properly finish your story if you personally cannot figure a good way to finish it.

This trend in horribly written endings needs to stop.

Now there is a rumour these writers are going to move to the last Star wars film. Which if this serves any example, is not good.

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Here, ultimately, is my problem with the writing of the last three episodes of Game of Thrones.

They say Daenerys’ brutality and madness were foreshadowed for a long time

 Indications that Daenerys was going mad only if you take her actions out of context.

For example, in seven seasons, not one of her advisors questioned her mental state.  They questioned her decision making, because that’s what advisors do.   But character after character after character – Jorah, Barristan, Varys, Jon, and Tyrion – said again and again and again that she was not her father.  Were we supposed to think that Tyrion and Varys and Jorah and Barristan were blind?  Stupid?   Wrong? (Jon is all three of those, I’ll admit.) If she had surrounded herself with sycophants and yes-men, then I would accept that.   But the writing told us that Jorah, Barristan, Varys, and Tyrion were brilliant, insightful men.

The people point to brutal acts of justice and vengeance as indicators of incipient madness.  If they’re right then Westeros needs a really large mental facility.  Every act she committed was mirrored by people who were considered sane.

Daenerys burned the Lannister army!   (Tyrion burned Stannis’ entire fleet.)

Daenerys executed the Tarlys, Varys, and almost executed Tyrion without mercy.  (Jon Snow executed Janos Slynt to make a point.  Jon Snow executed Allister Thorne who acted out of duty and Olly who acted out of trauma.  Arya Stark stabbed out Meryn Trant’s eyes and taunted him before slicing his throat.)

Daenerys crucified the Great Masters of Meereen for crucifying children.  (Arya Stark murdered the entire male population of House Frey without regard if they participated or even knew about the Red Wedding.)

Daenerys burnt Mirri Maz Dur alive.  (Sansa fed Ramsay to his own hounds.)

We were supposed to cheer the Sack of Astapoor.  (How many Bolton men died during the Battle of the Bastards?)

This didn’t subvert expectations – this was trickery and manipulation.  We’re told for seven seasons by people we’re supposed to trust that Daenerys is not her father.   We’re shown her triumphant over her enemies, and we’re supposed to cheer it.   We’re supposed to cheer other characters who do the very similar things.   And then in the last three episodes, we’re supposed to believe that what we were shown in the first 70 episodes wasn’t true at all.  She was her father; she was always going mad, and she’s not worthy of even a bittersweet ending.

It’s why they didn’t show her face during the burning of King’s Landing – because it wouldn’t be the character we watched for the 71 episodes previously.  That’s why they Reifenstahl-ed her up in the last episode.  That’s why no one mentioned her name after she died, because they knew mentioning her name would remind people that this was a surprise turn.  Being angry that your friend and son were murdered right in front of you is not madness, it’s a legitimate reaction, so not a single other character could mention what she suffered. 

The writers told us “You’ve loved Daenerys for 70 episodes, but you were wrong to do so.  You should feel sorry for Cersei instead.  You should think that Sansa would be a better queen because she’s Littlefinger 2.0.  Jon was right to kill her while kissing her.   (Because women are emotional creatures, and the man killing his love is such an empowering moment – for the man.  God.)  It’s not like she was armed when they were alone in the throne room.

And, of course, Jon and Tyrion aren’t going to be executed for this!  They are Right and Good, even though their mendacity, stuborness, treachery and horrible decisions directly led to this outcome! 

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What can I say about this show that everyone else already hasn’t, the sloppy, half-assed at best writing and insane character assassinations taking the cake. I had hoped for a satisfying end to GOT due to my mounting doubts GRRM will ever finish the series off, but it wasn’t to be, rather than be remembered as a truly remarkable show that peaked at around season 4, but remained okay until season 7 when the fissures started to open up. I still maintain that, like Rian Johnson, Dan & Dave are awful writers but competent directors, with there being some really good shots sprinkled throughout the series. The next show to come out will probably be the wheel of time, and though I got sick of its wheel spinning by book 12 there’s a chance the show may correct these problems… it really is a shame that I now expect shows to be poorly written garbage and be shocked they’re good, rather than being shocked they’re bad. I’ve been told that my criticism of these shows isn’t helpful, but if we don’t call out poor quality when we see it, then why should anyone bother anymore, it was the reason I started to write my own stories. Perhaps sooner rather than later shows in the west will focus less on identity politics and get back to good storytelling, rant over… for now.

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I have been thinking what is the point to write this, when many people knows the GOT last 2 season were badly written, and many people already came out some solutions and break downs. My POV is mainly come from the books, because I love them, and because I was disappointed in the tv show very quickly. I found the casting phenomanal, some of them literally looks like then I imagined before when I was reading the books. But the show made small, but significant changes which lead to totally different characters sometimes. I am not prude, but the unbelievable and most importantly unnecessary amount female nudity was the first red flag for me. 80% of them were nothing to do with the story or the character arcs. Its were only there because the two showrunners are two disgusting pig, and they had sacrificed valuable minutes in every episode to show some naked woman, like two teenage boys, who stole daddy’s porn magazine in secret.

But many of the tv show fans didn’t realised they are horrid writest, because the source material was so damn good. But they run out of it…

And this is the beginning of something we’ve never seen before. Many people are saying GOT is the best tv show ever, and I am not arguing with them, I just don’t agree. But we definitely haven’t experienced that such a global phenomenon went so wrong in the end. (maybe Lost, but I never watched it.)

D&D never understood the characters, that’s fact. The season 8 made that crystal clear. The best things in the S8 are the mems, unfortunately. I could have accepted almost any ending ( maybe except Bran as king) if the road which led to there is well executed. But D&D simply don’t have enough talent and wit to do that. This is the biggest shame.

I have my own ending (like a fan fiction) and I am stick to that. I really hope GRRM really trolling, and he is already wrote the books, and he is going to publish soon.

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My point of view on GoT

So, I’m a huge fan of the GoT books but I must confess that I haven’t seen the HBO show. Not a single episode.

Usually I prefer to read the books before watching the movie or tv show adaptation of something. And I still have book 5 to read so I waited to watch the show. I know I’m a slow reader… But I have other books to read, and fanfictions, and Netflix to watch, and… Yeah whatever !

The point is during these 8 years I did my best to not be spoiled. And trust me i did a fucking good job to avoid spoilers ! Before I read this part in the book, I didn’t know for Viserys. I didn’t know how things went for Jeoffrey exactly. I didn’t know for Jaime’s hand. Or for Tywin. Or for Brienne. Or for Daenerys. Or for Jon and Ygritte apart the fact that Jon knows nothing. Hell I even succeeded in not knowing what happened during the Red Wedding before reading that chapter ! No really I did a fucking great job to avoid spoilers !

And now that the show ended I must say that I got spoiled. I know about Daenerys, Jon, Bran, Cersei, Tyrion, Sansa, Arya, Brienne… I know almost everything ! And the worst is : I spoiled myself ! I read all the posts about season 8 !

And you know what ? I don’t care about spoilers on the HBO tv show anymore ! I don’t care at all ! And I don’t care about watching it after I finish the books.

The HBO tv show is not Game of Thrones. The actors are perfect for the characters and I’m sure the crew did an awesome job. But this is not Game of Thrones !

This is the worst AU written by drunk fake geek boys ever !

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My Least Favorite Tropes

Faux Action Girl: It’s okay for a action girl to be the one in danger and need of rescuing sometimes, but stop with the fake outs. Faux Action Girls tend to be stupid and incompetent and their other strengths gets put on the back burner in favor of making them the damsel in distress. It’s even more frustrating when the narrative tells us that she’s strong but doesn’t actually show us how and why. 

Designated Hero: Don’t expect me to root for someone who is a complete asshole. I don’t care if he’s “flawed and unique” if he doesn’t have anything to give him redeeming qualities or character development I won’t care. Especially if his shitty actions are never called out, or they’re portrayed as a positive thing. 

Token Pink Female/Pink Girl, Blue Boy: Can’t girls be any color other than pink/light red/purple? Now I like pink but I’m so fed up with female characters especially the Token Girl being pink, especially if it only serves as an code for them being the distaff of the male character? I get it if it’s To Sell Toys but, that gets annoying and turns into a stereotype that female characters must always be pink. Why not orange or green? It’s more irritating when the Token Pink Girl ends up having no personality beyond Strong Female Character™ or a trophy between the male characters. She’s essentially “the color pink the character.”

Sassy Black Woman: Because black women can’t have any other personality trait. She can’t be spunky but also knowledgeable, or shy and docile, she has to constantly spit out salty one-liners and act all ratchet and ghetto in order to be relatable. I’m more annoyed that dark skinned girls get pigeonholed into this type of role.

Derailing Love Interests: Screwing up a perfectly normal character in an attempt to shove a pairing in the audience’s faces is one reason why people hate shipping wars so much. You don’t have to warp characters just to make a potential partner look good. Everyone has good and bad traits. It’s especially aggravating when it’s used to promote a toxic pairing/character over a nice character who can be part of a healthy relationship. Quit pitting people, more specifically women, against each other for the sake of pointless romantic drama.

The Complainer is Always Wrong even when he’s right and provides good arguments for said complaints. 

Creator’s Pet: I have a special list coming up for this trope because I really hate it. In short, a genuinely awful character is given love and support by their original creator or author yet has done little to nothing to receive said praise. Also the good and popular characters get shafted or demonized to make this character look good. I happen to share my birthday with one of the biggest Creator’s Pets in Western media (Brenda Barrett from General Hospital). 

Human Focused Adaptation: If I want to see a movie about say, Road Rovers, I want to see the dogs in action, not their owners in their world of boring politics. If I want to see a movie about Bionicle I don’t want some crummy and cliche white kid sucking up the spotlight from the Toa. Basically, this takes the characters from the original franchise and regulates them to special guest stars IN THEIR OWN MOVIE!!!! 

What’s more, the humans from the original franchise are forgotten or never given expanded roles; alternatively they end up hogging spotlight from the actual cartoons and given a stupid and forced romantic arc over helping their friends saving the world. In fact if the original show was about saving the world, expect that to take a backseat to “I gotta impress the person I like so much” or “I have a crummy job” plot. I’ll write more about this trope later on, but for now it’s the one thing about these types of “cartoons to live action” aspects that I hate. 

Bratty Teenage Daughter/Dumbass Teenage Son: Again, teens can’t have unique or complex personalities. If they’re a girl expect to always be a brat or bitchy or so stupid in life they can barely function. If they’re a guy then they always spend their time talking about girls and being dicks and failing school. The teenage girl can’t be nice or nerdy or smart, and the teenage boy can’t be competent or selfless. This perpetuates harmful stereotypes on both ends. 

Other Tropes I hate or find irritating

- Strangled By the Red String

- Woman Scorned

- With Friends Like These

- Badass Decay

- Villain Decay

- Flanderization

- Mentor Occupational Hazard

- Freudian Excuse

- Draco in Leather Pants

- Ron the Death Eater

- Spotlight Stealing Squad

- Designated Love Interest

- Official Couple 

- Revenge by Proxy

- Idiot Hero

- Karma Houdini 

- Jerk Sue

- Flat Character

- Darker and Edgier

- Dumb Muscle

- Love Dodecahedron

- Chickification

- Superhero fights another superhero

- Smurfette Principle

- Disproportionate Retribution

- Tangled by the Red String

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