#CRIKEY WHAT THE DAMN FUCK

[sgiandubh]

This what I mean 👇🏻

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/3518505943900484/

Dear (returning) Bitchy Anon,

I wrote this answer yesterday, but I am posting it today, because I did not want to give you any satisfaction. Your coming back in here proves there is not an ounce of humanity left in you: just a #silly obsession for an actress who does not even know or care you exist. I promise you she doesn't. Confidently so.

But then, onwards to your 'evidence'.

You thought you would give me the creeps on Christmas Day with a controversial picture allegedly taken at the Weinstein (yes, that Weinstein!) and Netflix Golden Globes afterparty, on January 8, 2017?

No, seriously now: you actually did?

Crikey. As we say in Romanian (and yes, it is very rude, but also dementedly funny): mi se umple fundul de lacrimi/my arse is in tears. Perhaps the equivalent of I don't give a flying fuck, btw.

If you did read me before posting your laughable shite, and I think you did, you should know by now how I usually work, at least for those things I choose to make public (the rest is none of your business, I am afraid). You found this pic on Pinterest, originating from a Tumblr blog: @clairebeauchampfan. Since this person started blogging one year later than the moment this picture was taken, she probably found it chez Contemplating Outlander. You know, that pseudo-social scientist-cum-shrink, who thinks people are machines and adds a shitload of footnotes to her rantings, because she truly believes it makes her biased crap more credible (it doesn't, and this comes from an academic researcher: it is legit pathetic). So Claire Beauchamp Fan shared it and forgive me, but I did not bother finding her post, I just looked for her source (*urv's fetish):

This took me to CO's really nasty blog and you could have spared me that ordeal, Anon: it's literally akin to severe constipation. And then, onwards to Instagram:

A further search revealed she was wearing a Romanian designer (Maria Lucia Hohan) dress and Amrapali earrings. And then, I read the comments on that Insta post. Maybe you'd read them too, they are enlightening - for someone who's 'been around since 2015', people are rather confused about his real status in her life, don't you think?

But Internet is really forever, no matter how you try to hide your trash, Anon. Here is a copy of O'Callaghan's post which was, indeed, deleted: maybe *urv was too insistent? It wouldn't surprise me:

She should have won the Golden Globe in 2017, that's true. And it was S, not McIdiot, the one who told the Internet she should have won all those prizes, if memory serves. How odd McIdiot is never mentioned in that particular post (y'all would have paraded it for YEARS, if it were so) - but household staff, no matter how promoted, never really is. And before you screech, tell all the damn truth Anon, and put this pic in its right context:

How odd the 'successful music producer and entrepreneur' (he is not successful, nor a music producer and much less an entrepreneur) was not tagged, by someone who is active in the industry, who clearly knows C and who attended that Golden Globes gala!

Just a last word on that pic. C was obviously smiling and talking animatedly with O'Callaghan and then McIdiot (who looks malnourished - but hey, humble beginnings, eh?) got dragged in the middle, for the convenient pic. I sometimes wonder what kind of social life you people have and sadly, I have to say - next to 0, for some of you. I never fuck the dozens of men with whom I do have similar 'just because' pics, interrupting my conversation in the middle of an event.

Also, check this very warm & fuzzy pic with one prominent member of her own, personal and very, very gay Circle of Trust. Because I am sorry, but what straight man wears lipstick, as McIdiot clearly does (and no, it's not because they were smooching in the lavatories, what are you, 14?):

She looks happy, doesn't she?

I mean: really, honey. Get a Real Life and stop trying to persuade me with ye olde Pinterest pics you clearly are completely clueless about, ok?

And before you open your mouth to vomit CO's trash again, please carefully do your homework about McIdiot. But as carefully as I did. Then you can talk, share your interesting findings. Merry Christmas and....

#anon #fandom #shitshow

[mdhwrites]

The Lumity Kiss is Bad

Which is really weird when the actual, physical kiss is pretty much textbook perfect. However, this isn't a quick kiss or a throwaway one. It's the BIG kiss in a romantic subplot. The second half of the resolution we got in Knock Knock Knocking with the confession and the show frames it that way. As such... The kiss is more than just the kiss and it's every element around the physical action that ruins it, making even the textbook nature of it somehow flawed.

Let's start with the positive though. Now I've actually said I don't like how the kiss is animated and I do kind of stick to that. If you go to the 57 mark of this clip of the kiss, you can literally watch as Amity's face slides back to being on model.

And kind of like a lot of moments in the show with big budget animation, that's not a HUGE issue but it is deciding that frame rate and smoothness is king for good animation without considering how jarring it is to watch in the show and if it actually fits within the style of the show. I find TOH fights WAY more enjoyable to watch when isolated by themselves because of this because they aren't in an uncanny valley where they feel like a well produced fan animation than something official and I do still hold to that with the kiss itself. I just wish I could better describe why.

BUT! I said I had a positive to talk about and I do. For three seconds, the scene is just right. Luz says the date will be perfect before then Amity, looking at Luz, the person who the mere thought of was comforting her and who she's been worried about for a week, decides to go in and kiss her. Her hands are gentle as they take Luz's face and she leans in. Luz is shocked that this is happening but then quickly gives into the bliss and holds Amity's hand in her own. It is sweet, quick but incredibly impactful. It is a textbook example of how to do a kiss that one half of the pair didn't see coming and the couple are meant to be deeply in love. It's nothing new but doing the classic spot on is never a bad thing.

Those three seconds die the second Luz says, "Crikey," let alone the fact that it's in an Australian accent. And don't get me wrong: You do not have to make a kiss like this sappy. I Was A Teenage Exocolonist has a romance route with a very clinical, scientific person and when you two get together, she snarks at you if you ask what next. That I should know her well enough to know she has a logical decision deduced from what is correct for the situation.

"So are you going to kiss me or am I going to kiss you?"

Great. Amazing. Silly and not taking itself too seriously but above all else IN. CHARACTER.

I'm sorry to break it to you all but Luz is NOWHERE NEAR "Lol, random" enough for this. Hell, in both this scene and Looking Glass Ruins, the writers point out how Amity is driven to act on emotion and on what her brain pulls her towards more than Luz, especially on this topic. It's why Amity is ALWAYS the one to do the firsts in their relationship. Meanwhile, Luz's only times where she blurts out something random is "Snorses" which had a clear correlation to what was happening and "You damn rat!" which also was explicitly tied to the stimuli causing it.

What stimuli here makes her go "Crikey" and turn FUCKING AUSTRALIAN!? The only reasonable excuse I could even think of is to say she's a huge Crocodile Dundee fan but Luz was born theoretically somewhere around 2006, literally TWENTY YEARS after that movie came out and I don't feel like Camila would push something like that for her to watch or really fits in with most of what else Luz seems to enjoy.

Fucking BAZINGA would have been more in character because at least nerds still mock Big Bang Theory. Other options for a random word or reference would have been "Excelsior!" or "Wahoo!" as she jumps into the air like the hyperactive gremlin she's supposed to be.

Neither one would work though in general because the tone and framing of the scene isn't right for a joke, let alone this sort of joke. Part of what makes the kiss feel so justified in this moment is the setup... Though only on Amity's side. I'll get to the problems with Luz's setup for the kiss in a bit.

Amity has thought Luz might be dead for a week. She hasn't heard back from her, she's scared, distressed and strung out. She wants things to go back to simpler times like in Season 1 when things weren't so scary. She's emotional and is actively using the thought of Luz as a way to comfort herself. Then, out of nowhere, Luz comes in, promising romance, better times and safety, all while proving she herself is safe.

It is perfect setup in a story like this for the first kiss. Honestly, they could have gone one step farther and mentioned that they haven't even had a big kiss but they went with the missing out on the date element, which works just as well. It's nothing new but it's correct. It's good. However... It's also genuinely serious. Like this is effectively Amity laying out exactly why she likes Luz. The strength she gets from Luz. Why this relationship is important to her. It is great setup for an "I love you," or a first kiss.

It is a REALLY bad setup for a joke. However... as bad Luz's joke is... Amity's is actually worse.

"I can't believe I just did that!"

Yeah and I can't believe that in this moment that should show how far Luz and Amity have come as a couple, the strength and joy they've gained after being a couple for half a season, you're literally reacting the EXACT same way as you did when you kissed her on the cheek back in Looking Glass Ruins. It doesn't matter that you have nicknames now. That you two keep twirling each other about. Have had deep conversations about Luz's pain while Luz ignored yours. *eye twitch at Reaching Out* And it doesn't matter that in this moment, you have EVERY justification to be confident in this choice. To simply happy and overcome with emotion that your partner is simply ALIVE.

Her response should have been, "I'm so happy to see you," not literally going back an entire half a season for a cheap, repeat gag.

To be fair though, while this entire scene, from the moment it cuts to Amity talking to Emira and Edric, is obviously paying reverence to how big of a deal this is and trying to make the kiss be correct... The jokes are in keeping with how quite literally the rest of the episode treats Lumity. Remember, this episode starts with Luz claiming she'd like to pull a romantic rescue but deciding to opt out because despite having literally nothing to do with the plan, and likely being detrimental to how stealthy they need to be because fewer numbers are better here, she would rather be prepared to help Eda and King than actually break her girlfriend out from being grounded by the EC. This is despite, in Luz's own words, "You know me. I'll always choose the chaotic option." That... Isn't a good starting point.

Then the rescue is comically easy and Luz doesn't actually do any of it. It's all Gus, Willow and Hunter. Luz just gets to take the credit and get the big hero kiss, which this ABSOLUTELY IS. Amity was a damsel in distress for Luz to save, complete with a kiss for doing so. That's also without getting into how pathetically easy the save is. Like Willow doesn't even have to try to bury one dude and an abomaton ALIVE under ground. Frankly, I'm amazed that guard is still alive.

It's just a lot of stuff way too easy to be leading into what is the final payoff for your romantic subplot, let alone one that has taken up a THIRD of your story so far.

The rest of the episode isn't any better though. This should be an episode about Lumity. It starts with talking about Amity in trouble. Then it saves Amity and does the big, climactic kiss... But we haven't gotten Luz's side of the relationship yet, have we? We haven't gotten her speech like we did Amity's. We haven't gotten anything to show her deeper care for Amity and while Amity is talking about Luz's quirks and her kindness and the strength she gets from her, Knock Knock Knocking is really the closest we've gotten with "Awesome and pretty" which is vague and shallow. This is your chance to fix that.

There's even a perfect moment. Odalia threatens their relationship and says Luz isn't worthy. Have Luz agree... But then say it doesn't matter what her or Odalia think. That she is lucky to have someone as smart, dedicated, and passionate while having a sweet center that despite all her fears, anytime she's with Amity, she knows Amity is going to give her the chances she needs. Is going to understand what she's trying to say instead of looking at how weird she is and rejecting her. Take ten, twenty seconds to do that... While in the background, we can see Gus obviously thinking about something, glance at Luz, and then start working on a spell circle.

The shield comes down, get the dramatic reveal of Alador and then cut back to where Hunter is holding Amity's hand. Same effect as the show but allow Gus to make the plan of his own volition because he wants to protect his bro and this was the best he could think of. He thought Luz would be more capable of defending herself due to glyphs and that Belos was less likely to kill her than Hunter. Also, it was in a panic and the best he could think of.

INSTEAD, we get Luz ignoring Amity's problems with her parents for the THIRD FUCKING TIME and focusing on the white boy in the cast instead. In fact, I don't think Lumity talk to each other ONCE after the kiss scene. The focus is too much on the plot and Amity's angst and I could do an entire blog about how little Luz actually engages with Amity's character arc and plot elements. It makes it real rough analyzing old episodes for Amity's arc when you realize how much Amity jumps in her arc without almost any input from Luz on elements that are suddenly gone.

And this would be OKAY... But it makes the kiss feel like... Well, honestly like a gag. We're at a point in the show after all where very little of it is trying to be funny. Even Gus and King are being taken seriously now and Amity will be a joke for most of S3, especially in Thanks to Them. Even her standing up to her mother is lightly mocked by Alador sounding like he's just saying sweet lies in telling Amity that she was close to breaking the barrier. It's WEIRD the treatment of it when it has consumed so much time and the framing of the actual moment is so serious.

And I want to be clear: I am happy they kissed. I am not against this because it's two girls or anything like that. I'd criticize this no matter the gender, race, etc. of any element here because it is just flatly bad romance writing. The only parts that function are either cut off at the knees or the one part that has the characters too silent to actually harm the moment.

And I think the last thing any of us wanted for Lumity was for it to be treated like a joke.

======+++++======

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

#the owl house criticism #toh critical #toh #the owl house #Lumity critical #Lumity

[landologg]

Brooklyn Baby

luke hemmings x fem!oc

irl + social media au

summary: he's a guitarist in a band and she's a small known singer who's opening for him for his one night only show. they've been pining over each other for some time now. will her opening for his show make sparks fly?

ps. thank you to ava, lyss, & molly for willing to be my comments for this post :) also try to imagine gracie as sierra for the couples pics!

pps. thank you for all the love on these! they mean the world to me!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

lukehemmings • fonda theater

thank you for all the love on this album, me, and these shows. i am incredibly grateful to play these songs live for you. these songs were written at a point in my life where i didn't know where to go. but, now i do. thank you for the memories and thank you to abby for being such an incredible opener. ✨️

tagged /// abigalkinsley

abigalkinsley: so grateful i got to open for you luke ✨️💗 you're amazing

ashtonirwin: so proud of you dude! you rocked it!

wwylmolly: LUKE STOP BEING SO SEXY

michaelclifford: it was rare & i was there

ava_hrry: WOOF WOOF

calumhood: damn you're cool

vampirevalntine: luke come to atlanta next

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

abigalkinsley • fonda theater

best moment ever 💗 thank you to luke for giving me the chance to open, you're an angel! :)

tagged /// lukehemmings

lukehemmings: i appreciate you more than you know abby, we need to hop in the studio together one day

vampirevalntine: WAHHHH

ashtonirwin: absolutely amazing

ava_hrry: MOTHER IS MOTHERING

calumhood: huge fan of you

wwylmolly: im in love bye

michaelclifford: YOU LITERALLY ARE SO COOL

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

abby's pov:

"hey luke, what's up?" i replied anwsering his phone call. "nothing much, i was just wondering, um... are you free later?" he asked in a quieter town. "yeah of course! did you want to hang out?" i replied wondering what he was thinking. "what about a date instead?" coming up with a responce was a little hard, soeaking that i have been in love you luke since like 2015?? then i blurted out, "luke i would love to!" because you would never turn down THE luke hemmings... and little did he know i was completely going insane. in a good way of course. "okay cool! i'll pick you up at 7? is that okay?" he asked, showing that he was obviously nervous. "luke. you're good. okay? you can breathe now. i'll see you at 7." "okay. see you then abby." "bye luke"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

abigalkinsley & lukehemmings added to their stories!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

lukehemmings

call your mom featuring abigalkinsley out now! this one means alot to me, hope you enjoy.

tagged /// abigalkinsley, 5sos

abigalkinsley: we nailed it

ashtonirwin: pure fuego 🤘🏼

wwylmolly: WHAT THE FUCK?!

calumhood: the most rocking stars

ava_hrry: i need a minute

michaelclifford: im losing my shit right now

vampirevalntine: DONT SAY THIS THEN LEAVE?!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

abigalkinsley • sydney, aus

crikey!

ashtonirwin: no one says that

ava_hrry: FML

michaelclifford: YUP

lukehemmings: hope youre enjoying aus!

wwylmolly: IM DONE FOR

calumhood: who's that?

vampirevalntine: NO WAY NO WAY

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

lukehemmings • australia

that's what i like about you

calumhood: thanks for telling us you have a girlfriend, mate

michaelclifford: wow

wwylmolly: IM HEARTBROKEN

ashtonirwin: ❤️❤️

ava_hrry: OH MY GOD

abigalkinsley: :)

wwylmolly: YOU HOLD ME TIIGJTTT

vampirevalntine: LUKE???????

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

abigalkinsley

brooklyn baby. the album. out now. 💗💗💗 and yes. my boyfriend is indeed in a band :)

tagged /// lukehemmings

lukehemmings: i love you<3

lukehemmings: you should change to using the :') kind of smiley face

ava_hrry: WHAJTTHEFUCK

ashtonirwin: let's fucking go!!!!

wwylmolly: ABBY???? PLEASE-

michaelclifford: DIED DEAD OHMYGOSH

vampirevalntine: OSKEKLGOEOOW

calumhood: talent

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

lukehemmings added to their story!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

lukehemmings

lover of mine 💗💗💗

tagged /// abigalkinsley

abigalkinsley: i love love love love you

abigalkinsley: baby boy 🦋

vampirevalntine: I SCREECHED

ashtonirwin: 🤌🤌

ava_hrry: WIOFSIDOCODV

calumhood: iconic

wwylmolly: IM IN LOVE WITJ BOTH OF YOU

michaelclifford: guys aren't you proud i kept it a secret?

#luke hemming imagines #luke 5 seconds of summer #luke hemmings #luke hemmings x reader #5sos imagine #5sos fanfic #5sos #michael 5sos #michael clifford #ashton 5sos #ashton irwin #calum hood #calum 5sos #fanfic #lana del rey #lana is god #taylor swift #taylor swift eras #eras film #1989 tv #Spotify

[best-curse-word-tournament]

List of all Competitors from Season 1

cunt

Kel

pakala

damn

porra

shat

asshat

putain

shitting dick nipples

D'Arvit

jackanape

sluggard

slattern

kut

kak

perkele

godverdomme

блин

peijakas

what the frick...

うっせぇわ

ken

niquer

smeg

miércoles

coño

FLICK

shitfuck

cabrón

crotte

merde

rat bastard

cac

mundus excrementi

fiddlesticks

scheiße

cazzo

fucknugget

sugar honey iced tea

fuck

bastard

frick frack

God fucking dammit Dave

sonovabitch

pik ansjos

bullfuckery

vaffanculo

culero

gosh diddly darn it

cuntsucker

dickweasel

‘sblood

booty ass

कुत्ती

ordáka

चूतिया

peck

fuckass

bloody

dam

twat

git

bloody Nora

hijueputa

kurwa

bugger

frick

tarnation

applesauce

conchetumadre

*dolphin noises*

đụ má

хуй

блять

bitch

kacke verdammte

Hell’s bells

скоммуниздить

fuckshit

fuckwit

пиздец

caralho

crapbaskets

quiznak

shite

peeved

wazzock

dath apeth

slag

pillock

kriff

schist

godverdeklotekleretyfuskutzooi

graftak

pendejo

mothertrucker

jebać

shazbat

vittu

cocksucker

bomboclaat

paska

crikey

nonce

tering

בן זונה

fugg

sard

fucker

assfucker

shit

fucking Hell

zounds

heck

साला

what the kentucky fried fuck

I’m not here to fuck spiders

kleb

YouTube

bejabbers

jobbernowl

dunderwhelp

grumbletonian

sumph

ninnyhammer

dodipoll

sweet baby Jesus

weón

feckin’

lickspittle

hog grubber

see you next Tuesday

dicknips

herranjumala

mothersucking goose

zounderkite

scheibenwischer

ostie de criss de tabarnak

frell

jegus

nerfherder

dipshit

dickhead

ding dang

helvete

спиздить

наебать

fishsticks

binch

donkey

fuckwad

coat hanger

What! The! [Fifty Percent Off]!?

[aceopmari]

Could you please do a headcanons on how the akatsuki would act toward someone with an Australian accent bc I’m Aussie and I just wanna know how they’d act if they met an Australian 😭

A/N: I had no idea I had Aussie queens reading my fics! How cool! And you’ve got it! I took the time to research the terms, the slang, and culture. Hope I got it accurate enough! 

Akatsuki Masterlist

Taglist: @ppg-artss @lovelygeniegirl1012 @mercymccann @kakeisumire @aoi-ajisai @mechmoucha @barbellina @nightingaleflow @bonchin @awhore4uchiha @havrlie

The Akatsuki w/an Australian Teammate

A/N: Brought to you by, Lagoona Blue! Don’t you just love Aussie characters?

The Akatsuki would be getting a new member from The Village Hidden Down Under.

Thing is, they hardly knew anything about the mysterious village. Not even Itachi.

The Akatsuki watched as you walked in the room. The first thing they noticed was your village headband that had a upside down boomerang symbol on it. You wore it loosely on your hips.

You were attractive, clad in very light clothing (that looked more suited for a day on the beach) as well as a bright and sunny smile that could bring the dead back to life.

“G’day mates!” You greet.

Deidara:

💥If your partnered with him. He would have mixed feelings about you. That accent of yours was a bit off putting and he didn’t quite get your slang.

💥”Deidra, you doing okay, love?” You asked. An irritated tick mark appeared on his head as he blushed. “For the last time, it’s Deidara! And don’t call me your love, hm!” He growled. You looked at him in confusion. “That’s what I said, mate. Your name is Deidra.” Deidara nearly lost it. “Grrr! Stop calling me mate, hm!”

💥On the other hand, he enjoyed your company. You were friendly and warm. You also appreciated his art.

💥The two of you flew on his clay bird through the air that day. You laughed as you through your hands to the sky.

💥”Crikey! You Akatsuki blokes sure know how to keep things exciting!” You say happily. Deidara smirked. “It’s nice to know someone appreciates my art, hm.” You gave him a sweet smile. “Think you can make a koala, mate?”

💥Deidara spent the afternoon with you on the forest. He made clay sculptures of animals he never made before: a koala, a kangaroo, and a few others.

💥A tear fell from your eye at the sight. You didn’t realize it before but seeing the native animals from your village was making you feel homesick.

💥”Is there something wrong, Y/N?” Deidara asked. He was surprised when you pulled him into a hug. “It’s nothing mate…thank you Deidra. These are a beauty!” You say as more tears spill from your eyes. Deidara blushed. He smiled as he found himself hugging you back.

💥”You’re welcome, you shelia, hm.”

Hidan:

🩸Hidan was an odd bloke. He was clowning you from the start when he heard your accent and slang.

🩸”The fucks a Barbie?”

🩸”I ain’t your fucking mate, bitch!”

🩸”Quit stuffing your fat ass with that vegemite shit!”

🩸Your patience wore thin with his disrespect. You put your foot down. “I’ve had it putting up with a nasty drongo like you!”

🩸You slapped Hidan across the face, surprising you both. Hidan lips then curve into a grin. “Hot damn! Do it again, babe!”

🩸You stared at him incredulously. ‘Crikey! This Hidden Steamy bloke is off his knocker!’

🩸Hidan was…’friendly’ with you after that. Often hitting on you and calling you his ‘mate’ and ‘love’ for kicks.

🩸”What do ya say we get to know each other a bit further, Shelly?” He purrs as he wraps an arm around your waist. You elbow him hard in the gut, causing him to wheeze as he lets go. “The proper term is Shelia. And I’m not getting nuddy with a root rat like you!” You snapped.

🩸You eventually warmed up to him more. Hidan appreciated your open mindedness when he explained Jashinism to you. He gave you a physical demonstration of his ritual when he stabbed himself through the chest.

🩸”Ripper! That’s a gnarly jutsu you got going on, love!” You say with an excited smile. Hidan smirked at you as blood dripped down his lip. “You’re my kinda girl, you know that?”

🩸And you definitely were. With a shit eating smile, Hidan watched you wrestle a large crocodile in the water. You used a nearby snake to wrap it around its neck. “Hot damn! This bitch is wild!” He laughed.

🩸Hidan stopped everything when he saw you leave the base one day wearing a pair of daisy dukes, a crop top, and flip flops.

🩸”Well helloooo! Where you off to babe?” He grins as he scans your figure. You turned to him. “Oh, hello mate. I’m off to go buy some thongs. Want to come with?”

🩸Hidan’s pink eyes lit up. His cheeks flushed as a perverted grin spreads on his face. He imagined you in a sexy thong that hugged that perfect ass. He had to see you in one. “Fuck yes!”

🩸Hidan sat outside in front of your door at the fitting room. He could feel his little scythe twitching in his pants in excitement.

🩸”I still don’t see why I need to get in a fitting room to put on these thongs,” you say in confusion. Hidan snickered. “Trust me, babe it’ll be so worth it to see em on you.”

🩸You giggled. “You’re a strange little bloke aren’t you? I had no idea you were into this sort of thing.” Hidan chuckled. “I’m into a lot of things…”

🩸Hidan licked his lips in anticipation as he heard your door unlock. You opened the door and stepped out…fully clothed…

🩸Hidan stared at you in confusion as you walked towards him. “What the fuck? Where’s the th-?” You placed your foot on the seat next to him, presenting the designer flip flops you had on. You giggled. “Here you freak. Is this everything you wanted to see?”

🩸Hidan just stared at your foot incredulously. That was when he realized your culture and slangs. ‘Thongs’ in your village meant flip flops…not sexy underwear…

Kisame:

🦈 Kisame didn’t think much of you. What was some little girl doing in the Akatsuki anyway?

🦈He often picked on you and put you on the spot, but every time you stood your ground.

🦈”You sure you want to do this little girl? I wouldn’t want that pretty face to get hurt on a mission,” Kisame teased. You rolled your eyes. “Oh, don’t get your boardies in a twist, you dingo!”

🦈Kisame erupted with laughter. You were one interesting girl. Maybe being partners with you wouldn’t be so bad.

🦈 Kisame watched you train one day. He was impressed seeing you use water release to summon crocodiles.

🦈”That’s quite the jutsu!” He says to you. You give him a charming smile. “You like, mate? This here’s my Kekay Genkhi!” Kisame snickered. He had to resist the urge to tease you for your accent with how you said certain words.

🦈”What do you say to a little challenge?” Kisame smirked. You smirked back, catching onto his idea. “You’re on mate! My crocs against your sharks! May the best True Blue win!”

🦈Kisame fell for you the more he spent time with you. You were wild, fun, and free spirited.

🦈He was interested in learning more about your culture. You introduced him to shrimp on a barbie and vegemite.

🦈Samehada adored you. The sword let you pet it. Kisame liked how you treated his sword like a pet. You seemed great with animals.

🦈At night, you and Kisame went out for midnight swims. You both would playfully wrestle and splash each other in the water.

🦈Kisame would love for you to skinny dip with him. But first he had to find the courage to confess his feelings towards you.

Itachi:

🐦Itachi thought you were rather interesting if not a little eccentric than the average shinobi. Your accent was rather unique (not that he would admit it out loud).

🐦Your slang was rather strange too, but he was always able to interpret and translate your meanings on his own.

🐦Your words, mannerisms, and enthusiasm were amusing. Itachi was curious to learn more about your village and it’s cultures.

🐦He found it odd that you threw boomerangs in battle as opposed to shuriken. Surprisingly worked well as you were always able to knock out your opponent.

🐦You loved the wildlife, that was for sure. Itachi thought it was odd seeing a shinobi swinging on vines in the forest as opposed to simple tree jumping. Were all ninja from Aussiegakure like this?

🐦You were very interested in learning more about the Sharingan.

🐦”Oh, c’mon love. Just one peek?” You asked. “No…” Itachi said cooly as he turned his gaze away from you so that you wouldn’t look in his eyes. He couldn’t help but feel a warm shiver go down his spine when you called him ‘love’.

🐦You heard of Itachi and the things he’s done. You couldn’t help but be curious.

🐦”Itachay, why’d you kill off all your mates?” You asked him one day. Itachi stayed silent. He didn’t even question how the way you said his name sounded funny to him. You decided to let it go.

🐦”I‘ll respect and understand if you don’t want to talk. None of my bizzo,” you say. Itachi remained silent. He was at least very appreciative of you respecting his boundaries. You’d be a good partner for him in the Akatsuki.

Other Members:

🎭Sasori had mixed feelings about you. On one hand you were a competent partner. On the other hand you were annoying. He couldn’t understand some of the things you said. You actually made a bad first impression when you met him.

🎭”What’s an ankle biting bluey like yourself doing in the Akatsuki?” You say with a teasing smile. Sasori was able to interpret that ankle biter meant a child in which he quickly corrected you that he wasn’t. But what was a bluey? Why did you keep calling him that?

🎭You both eventually warm up and bond over your hatred for Orochimaru who you once met when he invaded your village with a bunch of snakes. You enlightened Sasori with the tale of how you fought him off. Snakes were native to your village so you easily drove Orochimaru away.

💵Kakuzu found your optimism and lively attitude to be infectiously disgusting.

💵You were put off by his greed. You always expressed how some of the money he earned should go towards protecting the wildlife such as koalas.

😆Tobi liked you and wanted you to teach him surfing.

📃Konan liked having a woman around but you were rather strange. Why did u keep calling her Shelia?

👋Pain also thought you were a rather strange woman. Especially considering how you were so intrigued by his gnarly looking piercings.

#akatsuki x reader #hidan x reader #hidan x you #akatsuki imagines #deidara x reader #akatsuki headcanons #akatsuki x you #naruto x reader #sasori x reader #deidara x you #kisame x you #kisame headcanons #kisame x reader #konan x reader #pain x reader #akatsuki scenarios #akatsuki headcanon #hidan headcanon #deidara imagines #deidara headcanons #naruto x scenario #naruto x female reader #naruto imagines #naruto headcanons #tobi x reader #obito x reader #kakuzu x reader

[itsdappleagain]

two weeks late? what do you mean? ...haha.

sorry i have excuses okay? I moved houses in that time and then got sick. like i said, lateness is becoming my brand i guess

anyways this week (last week) it is time for

The Opera in the Outback Caper!!

notes as always under the cut!

player's australian accent is hilarious

CRIKEY! AUSTRALIA'S ONE BEEEEEEEEEEG CUNTRY

bro the writers were researching australia and they saw carmen the opera and their eyes shot out of their heads like looney toons

according to wikipedia if this episode had gone like the opera carmen would have stabbed a bitch to death and then sung about fucking somebody all night from prison. but yeah carmen would have also ended up stabbed to death in the end so....leaning towards the bad omen scale

that fifteen person orchestra is really pulling its weight damn

can you imagine being gray in this episode he has literally no idea what the fuck is going on wheeze

this is totally way later in the episode but wait a minute if the vile device fried all the soundboards how the hell did the rest of the opera keep going

its gra-YUHM

that surprised pikachu face jdsghdjhga

god fuck i hate that he flirts with her im getting it out of the way right now so i don't harp on it later but i do not like it

SOMEBODY THAT YOU USED TO KNOWW BUT YOU DIDNT THAVE TO C (gets crackle rodded to death)

Gray Ham says enjoy the show and carmen walks like a penguin her ankles go WAY up

i love love love watching the progression of carmen's faith in vile go from her mostly playful, almost dismissive air in the start to realizing just how dangerous this all is and i think it starts RIGHT HERE, realizing that theyve killed crackle's memories of her and VILE

mentally i am the guy dressed as a soldier who is staring straight ahead and singing with one blank smile on his face

something about that swing and how carmen's coattails move is just mwah

carmen stays there for literally no reason how did you not see le chevre coming over to kick you in the back girl

that subliminal messaging device falling was sooo on key 🫦

so nitpicky but that opera singer is NOT opening her mouth enough literally watch any video of an opera singer their mouths are going twice that wide

the way she just plucks it from his hand is so funny

i love this fight btw. its so dynamic but its SILENT. and the entire fight is based around the need to not draw attention to themselves and disrupt the performance. very cool fight

like yeah the flips and the way they pull on each other's clothing and jump and use the bars and stuff super cool

literally the second time le chevre has done that exact same thing girly

that landing HAD to hurt SO BAD are you kidding

HOW DO YOU KNOW WHATS GOOD FOR ME

THATS MY O P I N I O N

also love how carmen goes in slow motion before this but the music doesnt thats hilarious

wouldnt it have been funny if as carmen the singer was singing her high note carmen the thief fell on her

love the standing ovation and curtsy for the uh. fourth song of the opera

player was in record mode because he secretly loves opera and wanted to record the live performance of his favorite habanera

HUAN HONK HUNK HONK HA HION HA HONK he does bleat like a goat

THE DEAR BOY COMMENT WAS SO BASED NOT YOUR DEAR BOY

i find it very hard to believe that le chevre is so flippant about the mindwiping thing seeing as dr bellum is potentially setting him up for the exact same circumstances today in fighting carmen lmao

i love when characters on screens look at things from the perspective of the. screen

"remix" its just you dr bellum

carmen: haha quip player: oh girl u fucked up girl

love Carmen's thought process of being completely unaffected by the thing that got blasted directly in her face just because she wasn't the target

player does the most

i love doctor denim jeans she seems like such a nice enthusiastic person

look at her shes so excited

what was carmen standing up there looking for anyway

pls player didnt even know it was gray but he knew. he was just like ffs carmen not the silver jambon

love how carmen is pinpointing his orders from vile as the problem and not. his willingness and ability to kill her

he's got good hearing wow

sparky is actually australian slang for an electrician. good to know. shocked crackle didnt name himself Sparky

love how crackles tone changes from joking to that dramatic "year of my life" speech i dont remember if they used that for flashbacks or trailers or what but its for something lol

"electrician" gray you sit at the desk and press buttons as far as we can tell dude

"yeah stranger go online and find some random guy to take you into the australian outback <3 my experience couldnt help you avoid a potentially bad situation there at all."

shes like four feet away and he's screaming lmaoo

it is just her name, honey maid

"the outback- may sound like somewhere you would take a man to shoot him but we have to save that for next season!"

mad respect for them primarily referring to it as uluru so it sticks that way and not the more colonialized name of ayers rock, which was given to it by, surprise surprise, a brit

its a miracle the car didnt break down in the outback after player told her to be careful in the harsh terrain. literally two episode ago he was like "be careful of altitude sickness!!" and then she died

god the music and animation in this episode are gorgeous though arent they?

miro is the most patient man on the planet

ivy being so fed up with him wheeze

carmen being polite and excusing herself from the conversation! never thought i'd see the day lol

i love miro he's just like what. what do you mean. who are you guys and he's right

for sure the only tourist in the car

where did carmen get those hot little pink glasses and coats did they mug a couple workers or what

ivy and zack's sibling dynamic forever

she is for sure like five feet from that door and should not be running for as long as she is while talking to player she is a split second away from crashing into the wall

pls the rocket is so close to the facilities it would take the buildings out

GET HER ASS ZACK AND IVY NO MUSIC IN THE WORKPLACE

anyone else love the animation when ivy's waving the id badge at mom jeans denim

zack's little salute ive never noticed that before

yeah your new interns. the most conspicuous american twenty year olds we can find who apparently blend in with every situation, including fashion week in milan

who voices bell bottom jeans because her australian accent is sketch is it sharon. it sounds a little like bellum

IT IS SHARON ok sorry queen your australian accent is not great </3

is there a "where in space is carmen sandiego" where zack and ivy go to an alien planet because i havent watched any of the 90s show but. that feels like it would happen

was player directing her through that or did carmen just randomly learn to hack too

love the single button to launch a whole rocket its so funny

brancusi jeans: that was the day i decided the laboratory is no place for opera speakers: opera in the laboratory skinny jeans: wow this is the best thing that has ever happened to me

i wonder if that cart wheel was 3d

ivy expertly tied that woman up great job ivy. ig she learned from boston lol. interesting tho- that is how carmen tied them up, and i wonder if carmen taught them

uh oh spaghettio

again cs color theory <3 with the button going green when vile's plan starts to work

also love how zack was just like "SHIT CARMEN SPONTANEOUSLY TURNED EVIL THAT SUCKS"

the rocket launched in less that 3 minutes! btw it will take more than 4 until we get to the final countdown. and we will cut down much of the space in between but its totally less than three ok

love the way ivy smashes through that door

wheeze the control panel at the top of the tower

zack's got the best australian accent out of all the terrible australian accents in this show. he could be on bluey

zack's cold chuckle before he tells el topo that the dingoes are mauling his boyfriend is priceless its so funny

adore the clear shock and horror in carmen's voice when she realizes what she's done. good gina moment thank you for a moment gina. oh nevermind that what have i done was sad and limp :(

AGAIN THE ANIMATION THIS EP. LIKE IVY CLIMBING THAT LADDER? MWAH

le chevre said grrr. WHAT? OUGH!

"let go" yes le chevre that is something she would do while you're dangling her a thousand feet above the ground

pls my video started buffering and it just went "OUT OF MY WA-" and then the screen went black ivy killed it

love ivy shes such a girlboss

still not sure btw how top and bottom arent recognizing the boston kids its. what the third, fourth time?

that little thing le chevre does i think must be a vile taught thing, which is interesting. he hooks his arms under hers and holds her there that way. i say that because in the s2 opener episode el topo does the exact same thing to carmen

the gays are so funny i love them

ivy comes very close to dying a horrible death this episode lol

"i've got you."

drops her

she did not have to slide down the rocket like that but thank god she did. hot of her. love that her hair came down and her glasses came off for maximum hotness she booked it over here you can tell

miro!!!

the two gays are literally just >:( >:(

shit my pants joke

everyone laugh

player is literally that friend trying to get his bff not to get back in that toxic relationship GIRL HE TRIED TO KILL YOU LIKE. A WEEK AGO HE AINT WORTH THE FRESH START BROTHERLY RELATIONSHIP

i do like gina's voice acting here though. she does sound like she's actually. feeling things

god the shots in this show are so pretty

look at that. art

even the light changing from green to red once she decides to blow him off. yes yes yes yes the red represents safety and certainty and as soon as that green light turns not only does it physically block her from crossing over to him just like she's mentally decided not to put it puts any question of vile completely out of the question

insert that tumblr post about wanting to make eye contact with someone from across a street and then disappear behind a bus here bc i can't find it

HOW IS SHE WALKING IN THAT DIRECTION THATS IMPOSSIBLE FOR THE BUS TRICK SHE JUST DID

woohoo carmen leading herself to believe that the only way she can keep people safe is to avoid them. im sure this wont come into play in any future searches for more familial figures of carmen's

i like all the human and animal remains in maelstrom's office. cool of him tbh

they wanted to say "bring me the head" so bad

anyway PAPER STAR! TRANSITION SENTENCE TO NEXT EP! i love next ep paper star is so cool. also beginnings of julethief. look, i have a transition sentence too.

next week is actually two days ago on saturday but thats okay ill hopefully get it done sometime this week, so i can be on time for being late this saturday. hope you liked this ep's notes <3

#cs weekly #carmen sandiego #carmen sandiego weekly #rip this was done last night but i couldnt post it #csweekly

[chaisshitposts]

🧍 what the fuck is wrong with people on this site... at this point, some of y'all need to be focusin' more on yer mental health than the void. 🚶I'm very concerned and I'm also becoming progressively irritated by some of the things people are asking me or complaining to me about.

full disclaimer, if ya come dming me with complaints about yer life, I'm gonna make ya cry. straight facts. I'm not a therapist, I'm just some dude on the internet who likes to do stuff.

if ya wanna get outta yer shitty little situation ya need to stop repeatin' the old story and come up with a new one. you're makin' it harder on yerself for fuckssake 🙄 i ain't yer fuckin' therapist either. so fuck off with yer sad shit, MAKE YOUR LIFE BETTER BY CHANGIN' YER DAMN THOUGHTS. fuck outta here with the complaints... I got my own life to rebuild, I'm not worried about yers. life is not about sufferin' when ya know about the laws of manifestation, and consciously manifesting as a whole, it's yer job to understand that and make the right choices on yer own behalf.

like, I'm sorry you're sufferin' but what the fuck do ya want me to do about it??? ya need to make the change, not me, not some stranger on tumblr, not some mf outside yerself. I get it, I made some posts to help folks out but that don't mean I got all the damn answers. I'm not some all mighty being with all the answers (not in yer reality at least).

YOU need to make the changes for yerself. YOU need to do what's best in YER favor and circumstances. Why can't ya understand that simple idea?

fuckin' crikey, get yer shit together. i don't care if this is harsh, I really, really, really don't give a flyin' fat fuck. 🤠

if ya wanna dm me, ya better not fuckin' complain to me about your old story unless ya think ya want some help with comin' up with affirmations or somethin'. I'm down to talk to anyone and everyone but again, I'm not a fuckin' therapist or a help hotline, I'm just another person interested in conscious manifestin', same as you. 🧍seek out professional help, not some stranger on the internet.

if ya wanna guffaw and giggle about manifesting together, I'm all for it, but for the love of FUCKIN' ZEUS AND ALL GODS HUMANITY BELIEVES IN don't ask me for life advice, I'm still livin' my own and learnin', why would I know what you should be doin' with your own life when I'm still figurin' that out my damn self? it should also be said that I am mean and blunt when complained to, and if ya can't handle that... I suggest ya move along on yer merry way.

and no bein' mean is not 'quirky', I just don't give a fuck. fuck around and find out if ya want to, darlin'. i ain't ya mama, ya grandma, ya daddy, or anybody sweet if ya wanna fuck with me.

thank ya for readin', I'll be postin' about some new subconscious info soon. 🏃💨

#— chai rambles. !!~ #im much more calm now after ranting #yeehaw #stay away from my dms and asks if youre sensitive #i am blunt and mean #i will not hold back

[fangsforhire]

Anonymous asked: Who is the most annoying human you ever met?

‘Do you want a list?’

Crikey did they expect him to actually choose? Many mortals infuriated him no end, providing endless headaches and frequent whiplash. The human race believed themselves to be superior, walking the planet as though they owned it, and when they didn’t understand something? They would pull it apart to see what made it tick. ( Worse, they deemed everyone but themselves monsters, but were always the ones to go off the deep end. Just how many wars had he started? ) He’d fought in the trenches, knee deep in horse shit, and seen the destruction with his own eyes. Humans were a disaster waiting to happen, and despite it all, they still managed to to worm their way in. To set his world on fire and challenge him as though he wasn’t capable of ripping them apart. 

‘Fuck, uh. You really gonna put me on the spot huh? That’s really damn hard to decide, okay? There’s Moriarty, who thinks he shoots rainbows out of his arse. There’s that prick Severin who just winds me up the wrong way, Stiles fucking whatever his face who can’t decide whether he wants to block me or bed me, Ruby Moran who is just the biggest brat to brat, like half of females who think they can flutter their eyes and I’ll fall head over heels - oh sorry is that sexist? Anyway… there’s My-cough who thinks he’s above it all, every human who’s ever tried to psychoanalyze me, like purlease, darling. Give up. There’s that Jawn guy who just can’t see to keep up… yeah I can’t pick. Sorry. Just assume if they’re human, they’ve annoyed me at some point.’

#anonymous #ℒ | It's just another stroke of the pen on the page. ( Roleplay Ask. ) #ℒ | Will you think that you're all alone when no one's there to hold your hand? ( Queue. )

[beck-derringer]

Derringer Reunion

Date: Sunday, May 7th (Morning)

Location: Sunrise Diner

Notes: Beck surprises Bonnie and Jude, but Jude one-ups her with a surprise of his own.

If Beck had guessed correctly, Jude should have already woken up and made his way to the diner. She hadn’t told her brother or her mom that the crew had been on the way to Kraysha - because surprises were much more fun. Her sunglasses on, she walked into the diner. Sure enough, as she predicted, the interior had been significantly cat-ified. The waitstaff were wearing cat ears of all colors - thankfully no tails included - and there were all sorts of cat decorations strung along the tables and walls. Still, it felt like the Sunrise Diner. Just aggressively more cat.

She looked immediately towards the booth that was dubbed “the Derringer booth”, because it was the booth Beck and Jude always sat at. And sure enough, there was Jude. Still the same, albeit now with thicker facial hair. She took off her glasses and walked his way.

“‘Scuse me, cobber, I’d like to speak to the owner of this establishment,” she spoke, leaning against the table and grinning. “And maybe her galah [idiot] of a son, too.”

Jude looked up from his laptop, and immediately his eyes widened. “Becca? Holy shit!” He immediately got up and gave her a tight hug. He even picked her up for a quick second, ecstatic that his twin returned.

Beck hugged back and laughed. “Alright ya drongo, put me down. Jeez.” She lightly hit his shoulder until he decided to put her down and let her go. “Crikey, your beard got thick.” She reached up and started pulling at the hair on his face. “I couldn’t have guessed you had the hair follicles to pull this off.”

“The beard helps hide the wrinkles. You should probably think about growing one yourself,” Jude quipped. This prompted Beck to give him a harder smack on the arm.

“Oh fuck off! Prick.” She looked around the diner. “Where’s Mum?”

“She’s doing important diner owner things in her fancy office.” It was not in fact a fancy office, as this was still just a diner. “C’mon, let’s go.”

They both walked to the back of the diner to Bonnie’s office. The door was closed. Jude gave it a couple of knocks.

“I’m busy, who is it?” Bonnie called from behind the door.

Jude crossed his arms with an amused grin, and leaned against the side of the door frame. “Mum, there’s a huge mess that just happened in the kitchen.” Beck covered her mouth to keep from laughing. “Yoojeen slipped on a banana peel and got pancake batter all over fryer.”

“Again?!” Bonnie screamed in disbelief. Fast stomping could be heard approaching the door. “I swear if Yoojeen wasn’t the fastest cook we had, boy I would -” The door slid open, but Bonnie paused when she saw both the twins standing in the doorway.

Beck gave her mom a wave. “Hi Mum!”

Once Bonnie processed what was happening here, her face lit up. “Rebecca? Oh my God!” She immediately brought Beck into a tight hug. “I can’t believe it! You didn’t tell us you were coming! And - Jude!” She let go of Beck and gave Jude a light smack on the arm. “That isn’t funny! You’re thirty seven! Stop trying to stress out your mother for fun!”

Jude laughed. “I was just trying to surprise you!”

-----------------------

The three of them sat at the Derringer booth, where Beck was helping herself to a full stack of pancakes drowning in syrup.

“Oh, Becca, it sounds like you had so much fun on Earth,” Bonnie commented with her hands folded together. “Never got to go to Sydney, much less any of those other places. I’m so glad you get to see things like that.”

Beck nodded. “Yeah, it seems like Earth is different every time I go there. It’s not like here. Kraysha always seems to stay the same.”

Jude’s eyebrows raised and he made a face. “Well, damn, you make that sound like such a bad thing.”

“It’s not a bad thing. You think I’d be happy if these pancakes were different every single time I came here?” She took a big bite of pancake.

Jude and Bonnie both looked off behind her. Beck didn’t notice how a smile grew on both their faces.

“Well, actually there is something different this time around,” Jude began.

Beck looked up at him in confusion, mouth still full of pancake. Jude got up from his seat, and seemingly out of nowhere a gorgeous purple-haired Erkuss woman with pale golden eyes appeared. Holding what looked like a newborn. Also with pale golden eyes. And thick, dark brown hair. Jude placed a head on the newborn’s tiny head and looked at Beck.

“Becca, meet your niece. Cleo.”

Beck spit pancake bits onto her plate. “What the fuck?!”

-----------------------

Beck was a little pissed, not because Jude was a dad now, but because he waited until the baby slid out the damn womb before telling her. She sat in the booth, arms crossed, now sitting next to Bonnie while Jude and his baby mama - apparently named Molly, after Molly Ringwald. Bonnie was holding little Cleo and hadn’t stopped smiling once since Molly and the baby arrived.

“I found out the moment Molly took a pregnancy test,” Jude was in the middle of explaining. “You know usually I’m really careful but I guess that night I was just so drunk that I -”

“Forgot to wrap it up,” Molly interjected. Jude nodded.

“- forgot to wrap it up, that’s right!” He laughed. “I remember the wrapper ripping off and then the rest was a blur.”

Beck raised an eyebrow.

“And you didn’t feel the need to tell me during any of the times we spoke on the comms?”

Jude gave a small shrug. “I wanted it to be a surprise when you got back.”

Now both of Beck’s eyebrows were raised. “Oh, well you succeeded, Jude! I am indeed surprised!”

Her eyes went to the baby in her mother’s arms. Newborn babies generally had the same face so it was hard to tell which parent Cleo looked like. But she definitely had the thick Derringer hair and what looked like a very small version of Jude’s nose. She was so tiny.

Her gaze returned to Jude and Molly. “So... what’s the situation here?” She waved her hand between them. “Are you together?” If Jude was both a father and practicing monogamy she was sure that would be her last straw.

Molly laughed. “Oh, stars no!” She glanced at Jude and then shook her head. “No, your brother couldn’t keep that in his pants even if he tried.”

Jude laughed and gave a shrug. “This is true!”

“And I’m a big practicer of monogamy. We’re strictly co-parenting,” Molly explained. “I see how Jude is with his students and I thought he would be able to manage this.”

Beck blinked. “You... also work at his school?”

Jude answered. “Yeah, Molly joined the faculty this year. We got real munted at a before-the-school-year faculty bash and the rest is history. She teaches art theory.”

An artist, huh. At least Jude had good taste in baby mamas.

“I also had a procedure done immediately after I received the news,” Jude told Beck. “You know, so next time I forget to wrap it up, it won’t result in such a big surprise. Totally reversible, in case I ever want to give Cleo siblings someday.”

“Which you shouuuuuld,” Bonnie remarked.

Jude rolled his eyes and looked over at Bonnie. “Mum, one thing at a time, yeah?”

Bonnie shrugged innocently before directed her attention back to her precious grandbaby.

This was a lot to process. How did so much change from the last time she was here?

Jude seemed to catch on to Beck’s thinking. Twin telepathy. His head tilted to one side.

“Becca? So what do you think?”

Beck looked at him. Then at Molly. Then at her mom and Cleo. Then back at Jude.

“What do I think? I’m pissed, first of all, that you kept this from me for this long.” She saw the expression in Jude change, prepared to take whatever fire was about to come his way. “Second of all... I never expected that hearing you becoming a dad would make me so happy.”

Now there was shock on his face. He hadn’t expected to hear that part. Beck looked at the tiny infant in Bonnie’s arms.

“She’s so beautiful, Jude,” Beck continued. “I can’t believe you created her.” She looked at Molly. “You sure he’s the dad?”

Jude and Molly both laughed.

“Oh I’m sure. I was going through a real dry spell before that night,” Molly said maybe a bit too candidly, but Beck had quickly gathered she was the very honest type.

“You want to hold her, Becca?” Jude asked.

Beck looked at the baby. She wasn’t exactly a seasoned baby-holder. But she also wasn’t a coward, so, she nodded.

Bonnie carefully handed the baby over to her, and Beck looked down at her. She couldn’t believe she was an aunt. Again, because this didn’t take away the fact that Jack and Jenn would always be her niece and nephew no matter what her deal with Julia was. She gave Cleo a small tap on the nose.

“Hi Cleo,” she spoke quietly with a soft smile. “I’m your Aunty Becca. I’m so happy to meet you.”

Cleo looked up curiously at this new face she hadn’t seen before. She cooed curiously, before a tiny hand grabbed Beck’s finger.

Beck immediately knew that she would love this little bean for the rest of her life.

#self para

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #165

Kissing someone with facial hair, do you mind? I've never kissed someone who had a whole lot of facial hair (at the time we were dating), but I doubt it would really bug me.

Would you ever enter any kind of pageant? Hell fucking no, I'm barely able to attend my niece's when Ashley decides she's doing one.

Do you have sympathy for hobos? ????????? DOES ANYBODY?????????????????? NOT???????????????????????????????

When holding hands, do you intertwine fingers? Girt and I do, yeah.

What's your opinion on Johnny Depp? I think he's a legendary actor more than anything, extremely talented, and I also think he's pretty damn attractive and also seems like a really good person.

If you write, isn't writer's block the most horrible thing? Yes, especially when you really want to write but words are a fuck

How old were you when you met your first love? I was 15.

Did you get ice cream from the ice cream truck when you were little? Do they still have an ice cream truck where you live? We did sometimes! Not often, but my sisters and I were always so excited when Mom was okay with it (like a good parent she was physically there with us, she didn't just hand us money). I have no idea if they're still a thing...

Your last ex finds out you’ve fallen in love with another person? She knew that already before I even cut ties with her.

Who was the last friend you added on Facebook? I want to say it was a former best friend's mom.

Have you ever encountered a black widow? Yes, I know I've seen a few in dark, cool corners and stuff. They're beautiful, but of course I never bothered them.

What letter does your surname begin with? "D."

Have you ever used a muscle stimulator before? Did it hurt? Yes, but only as an actual testing procedure on my legs. It was to see if the problem was actually nerve-related, but it wasn't, and it was a bit painful, primarily on the interior of my knee, THAT was unpleasant.

How many times have you dated the person you’re with now? This is the second time, the first time was only four-ish months and I know I just wasn't ready to date again yet so it never got very serious, I was really apprehensive to let myself love a guy again.

Do you know anyone who has gotten pregnant despite using contraception? Yes.

Would your mom care if she found condoms in your room? No, she's mentioned it gives her the "oh god my daughter's an adult" crisis for a moment lol, but it doesn't make her mad or genuinely upset or anything.

Would you ever get band artwork tattooed on you? I plan on getting some lyrics, however I will never incorporate band imagery (like a logo) with it; the lyrics can still be important to me even if some drastic thing happens that makes me dislike the band as people. I never want another tattoo that equates to love or idolship of a living person; I say "living" because I want a "crikey!" comic pop-up style tattoo in memory of Steve Irwin, but I mean he's dead, he's not gonna get canceled tomorrow lmao. In memorium tattoos are very different.

Do you think the last person you kissed has ever lied to you? I don't know, I doubt it, but given that we've known each other over a decade, it's possible.

Would you ever pick up a hitchhiker? No, I am waaaay too paranoid for that.

Do you think it’s important for children to have a father figure in their life as they grow up? This is very heteronormative, no. Regardless of the parents' genders and how many guardian figures are involved, I firmly believe a child needs AT LEAST one dedicated parent figure, and not any that aren't truly invested in the child's life, because that can normalize dysfunctional relationships.

If you could have one more pet, what? A western hognose snake morph, probably a snow or high-expression lavender individual.

Something you want to buy real bad? A new, good quality phone.

Could you wait until marriage for sex? Yes, it's the reason I remained a virgin through high school despite being in a long-term, intimate relationship; I was religious then and abstinent. I dropped that whole mentality multiple years ago, though, but if my partner wanted to wait, yeah, that's fine.

Do you know anyone who writes huge essays when they message you? Yeah, but I totally don't mind that so long as you're not writing a novel in basically every message. I really really like when someone shows clear interest in talking, it's very reassuring to me as someone who constantly believes I'm a nuisance that is a chore to communicate with.

Do you think your first love still loves you? No, I'm sure he doesn't. I don't love him either though, so fair's fair, y'know.

Were you ever a flower girl or ring bearer in anyone’s wedding when you were little? No.

Has your father met the person you currently love? Yes, it's wild when I remember that this guy's known my dad since my parents were still even together.

[TW: SUICIDE] Have you ever written or received a suicide note? I've written one, regrettably.

Do women breastfeeding in public make you feel uncomfortable? Why or why not? No, and for anyone who's disturbed by breasts being used for what they're properly for, please do the entire world a favor and blast yourself into deep space, please.

What band would you most like to meet? guess i know it's really hard it's not like i'm annoyingly enthused by a band or anything

Do you think you have to be skinny in order to be beautiful? That mentality literally only applies to myself, and not because I believe it, but it's pure societal expectations. I know how bigger people are seen by a large percentage of the population, and it's made ME very ashamed of my weight, while I would never think that for another person. I'm always meanest to myself.

What’s the most disturbing thing you’ve ever been through? A wildly severe obsession with an ex-partner. Now that I'm over that, I can realize how so many things I did were just creepy and alarming.

Are you into PETA and all that? They are way too extreme for my liking, and also way too spiteful towards those that disagree with them. They promote some things I support, but they're just straight feral.

Does your family have a secret? Not a major one, but I suppose there is one among my immediate family: my niece Aubree's dad isn't Nick (sister's husband), she was born before they got together from a VERY shitty relationship. Her biological father has exactly zero to do with her, I think he met her like once as a literal infant. He's a pure fucking garbage human being, and luckily because of how young Aubree was, she has no memories where Nick wasn't "Dad." He legally adopted her as well so that there was never last name confusion. Ashley absolutely plans on telling her at some age; Nick doesn't want to, but too fucking bad, Ashley knows Aubree has the right to know, but I don't know exactly when she's gonna talk to her about it. We all know very, very well that Aubree is going to handle it EXTREMELY poorly, like there's basically no question about it, just knowing how her mind ordinarily works.

Any current family issues? My older sister likes to act like our mom doesn't exist any day but Fridays (she babysits), VERY conspicuously, and whenever confronted about it, she brushes it off with some bullshit excuse. This is probably the main source of stress and upset in my mom's life, like she has cried oceans about how Ashley's treated her since Nick and his family got involved. I can't fucking stand it.

Have you ever picked wild flowers? Oh yeah, plenty growing up.

Which mythological deity or creature is your favorite? Dragons, easy. I have a VERY prominent tendency to be drawn to media relating to dragons.

What’s the biggest spider you’ve come across? Besides the pet store tarantula, proooobably orb weavers?

Have you ever been bitten by anything venomous? No.

Who was the last person you were with that smelled REALLY good? Girt lol, he generally takes a shower immediately before coming here and for some reason I could just really tell the last time he was here.

What movie coming out are you most excited to see? Why? Barbie, it looks super fun.

If you have one, do you and your significant other have a similar taste in music? Yep.

Do you know anyone who has changed their first name? Yep, primarily in trans situations.

Have you ever dated someone who posted a ton of selfies on social media? No, but does that matter...? I'd have no problem with my partner being confident with how they look and wanna document their life???? Coincidentally though the majority of people I've dated just about never took pictures.

Are you on good or bad terms with your most recent ex? Bad.

What’s your favorite YouTube channel? I don't actually watch him anymore really, but as an individual, Markiplier; I look up to him very much and see him as a great person who puts their success to pretty good use. These days, I probably get the most actual entertainment out of Game Grumps.

What’s the highest you can count in a different language? To like a million in German.

Where would you like to be buried? I want to be cremated with my ashes probably spread in Yellowstone, ideally wherever I lay Teddy's, should I ever get permission for it.

Which of the following areas is going best for you right now: finances, work, love life, social life or education? Why do you say this? lol love life, 'cuz the other areas are on fire rn

Do you know any illegal immigrants? I knew at least one, but he got deported after getting involved with crime. He's still in Mexico, I recently learned. Supposedly he's straightened up a lot, but I don't know exactly how much I believe that, just knowing him.

Can you sit for long periods of time? It VERY much depends on what I'm sitting on; if it's cushioned in some way, usually I'm fine, but if it's just a shitty wooden chair, I REALLY can't; I'm so convinced that that cyst removal surgery caused a sensitive nerve or some shit, because ever since that time sitting for an extended period (and "extended period" isn't even that long in the big picture) has been able to reach a point where I am literally in physical pain, like I have to get up slowly or else it's agonizing to stand. I've got no other explanation but a sensitive nerve, because something changed.

Do you have any cavities? Yes, a last one in my bottom left wisdom tooth that's getting pulled out later this month.

Who was the last person to flirt with you, other than your lover? Uh, I don't think anyone else has while dating Girt, so I guess Sara?

Have you ever read a book about a character in a psych ward? No, I feel like that would be really triggering for me.

Have you ever been in a mental hospital as a patient? ^ well yeah, like around six times. I stopped keeping track at like four.

Whose place did you last chill at and with who? Girt's, with him, his mom, his mom's best friend, Girt's sister, nephew, and sister's boyfriend, and my mom came as well.

Do you plan on having both your parents at your wedding? Yes.

Would you prefer cherry Cola or vanilla Cola? Definitely cherry, I remember not liking vanilla very much.

Have you ever tried to draw an anime version of yourself? No, anime has never been my drawing style.

At what point were your parents most disappointed in you? I don't know and don't think I want to.

If you could have a neon light sign that said anything you wanted, or looked like anything you wanted, what would it be? I literally DO want a replica of the woman figure with "paradise" written with it that is featured in Silent Hill 2, in the Heaven's Night club. I'd love to have a room in my house that's dedicated to game stuff (more so for Girt than me haha), and it'd be so cool to have that in there.

Will you cry at your wedding? Oh I basically fucking know I will, my makeup's gonna be fucked lmao

If your last ex said they hate you, you say? I know.

What do you get cravings for the most? Soda.

Where was your senior prom held? The local community college.

What was the theme of your senior prom? I actually don't remember whatsoever.

Do you know what you want the theme of your wedding to be? If so, what would it be? It'd be REALLY fucking cool to make the kintsugi ideology be carried throughout various decor, especially because I want the theme to be black and gold. I think it'd be super fucking pretty and also cute and very factual that we make each other into something even better than we are naturally. I very much want gothic themes, too.

What color Christmas lights do you like best on your tree? I prefer all the colors. <3

At what age did you start puberty? Idk, I just know it was a normal time to start. I remember just how much I hated it and how self-conscious it made me.

Have you ever passed out? Once, I know I almost did at least twice more, but I feel like even a time or two more than that. Only one of those I can explain.

How old is the last person you kissed? He's 29 and convinced he's like, 93.

Where does your best friend live? About 30 minutes away from me by car; he's very close to our former high school, in the middle of shitfucknowhere, you get an amazing view there.

How many people have you truly fallen IN love with? Two. Once upon a time I would've included Sara, but when I compare what I felt then to how I felt/feel with Jason and Girt, they are NOOOOOTHING alike. I do believe I loved her, though. Just not IN love, it's absolutely different.

Has anybody ever called you a tease? lol more than once

Have you ever seen your siblings naked? Well yeah, we grew up together.

What are you doing this weekend? I might actually be going down to meet Girt's grandmother; she's not well whatsoever and has cancer now that can't be treated with how weak she is, so it definitely sounds like she's not going to be around much longer and I really, really don't want to regret not meeting her if I have the chance; almost positive she's the last grandparent Girt has and I want to know her. We're just not 100% yet on what day they're going, and I also want Girt to ask his family if they're all even good with me coming; I can't imagine a world where they would care at all, his mom's probably gonna get on me for even checking lol, but the fact is that right now I am just Girt's girlfriend and I don't want to be overstepping into territory that would make anyone uncomfortable, especially since like, what if this is the last time they see her? I just want to know no one's bothered by me coming along. I know Sunday Girt and I will definitely be hanging out.

What’s your favorite hair color for girls? Probably pastel dyed colors, like gentle pinks, purples, oranges, etc. That's especially what I want on myself, but I really just liked colorful dyed hair in general, on anybody.

Does your first crush know you liked him/her? I never told him, so there's no way he absolutely knows. He mighta suspected it, I dunno.

Has anyone ever taken your clothes off of you before? Yeah.

What was the last seriously painful thing that happened to you? I recently stubbed my toe real fuckin hard.

Do you believe in Judgment Day? Sure don't.

Do you have a picture of you kissing someone? Yes.

If you had $100 dollars, how would you spend it? Save it towards getting a new, good-quality phone. I'm kinda thinking of offering human photoshoots again just because I wanna work towards this before Christmas...

You were given the opportunity to get a new cellular device, what do you choose? ... oh lol, I actually am not sure. I'd have to research and ask others.

Ever physically fought with a member of the opposite sex? No, only gentle playfighting with a partner that by no means was even remotely genuine "fighting."

What was the last thing you tried for the first time? A fruit smoothie this morning, I'm officially into those as breakfast. Today's I didn't like though, we didn't have nearly enough peaches so it mostly tasted like banana and cinnamon and I wasn't into it.

When was the last time someone admitted to having somewhat of an attraction to you? Well Girt.

Do you prefer to have more or less in common with your significant other? More.

#survey #surveys #random questions #personal questions

[embrassemoi]

Surrounded by the Moon and Stars ✷ 23

Pairings: Sirius B, Remus L, [F]Reader CW: Drinking, slight internalized homophobia A/N: The first part dives into Lily's sexuality. It’s pretty innocent but may make readers uncomfortable. If you want to skip, go past the line break and I bolded the words ‘Round round get around’ for when it’s ‘safe’ to continue!

Chap 23 Playlist

【 Masterlist: Previous Chapter | Next Chapter 】

Chapter 23: The Daily Quarrel

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Lily always considered herself to be calm, rational and level-headed, that’s what made her a great prefect and student. But over the last five months, Lily felt herself becoming everything but that.

Lily never concerned herself with dating. Of course, she’d entertained the thought. She had crushes before, many crushes, and dabbled in the idea of romance, love, dates and commitment. Especially now as it seemed like the older she got, those around her fell into relationships and quick snogs in the broom closet that she was forced to break up one too many times. If she were to date, she didn’t want to force it. Lily wanted it to come naturally. It was never that important. If it happened, it happened, and she would welcome it with open arms.

But recently, it was all she could think about.

At first, it was a passing thought. Boys — dating — and then other things she thought she buried deep down began to resurface.

Girls, by every definition, were beautiful. Lily would admire the way they style their hair or religious headwear, how they carried themselves with such effortless grace that they never seemed to notice themselves. Girls, women; Lily thought they were thoughtful, kind and more respectful than men. She felt loads more comfortable around them before her thoughts began to turn more obscure — until her mind quickly shut it down and interjected that she just wanted to be close friends.

That was an utter lie.

It’s not like Lily didn’t feel any sort of attraction towards boys. She did, very much and had feelings both romantic and well… er — unleashed a plethora of other feelings. Lily was not opposed to holding hands, kissing or cuddling them, she really liked the idea and felt herself grow warm. She would do all sorts of things with the right boy. But there was something so exciting, yet frightening when the idea of hand-holding, kissing and cuddling with Y/N. That certainly left Lily with sweaty palms, heart racing and a flustered mess.

Whenever she held her hands, went around holding her arm in the halls, or crept into each other’s beds at night, Lily felt like a puddle of nerves.

She’s managed to force a smile most of the time whenever improper thoughts surfaced. She could be alone, walking the hallways for her prefect duties and something would pop up: when her fingers ran through Lily’s scalp when she brushed her hair. Her smile. Her eyes… her damn eyes… All she thought about these days was her. How was Y/N doing? She’s so funny! Would she like the way she styled her robes today? How would she look on top of — ARGH! Lily was mortified half the time.

Let’s just say that it was a gradual realization.

Lily wasn’t stupid, far from it and knew what was happening and it left her on complete edge, especially around Y/N. It left her face scarlet red and felt as if her chest was about to burst into a bloody mess. She couldn’t even look or be anywhere near her sometimes because it was too overwhelming.

But her feelings… Lily grew up being taught that she wasn’t supposed to feel this way for another girl, let alone both boys and girls...

Her heart, mind, morals, feelings, everything she believed in was at war. Lily felt herself change inside and out. It’s always been there, those… emotions — and suddenly it just ripped at the seams. Y/N was just the tipping point.

But why did it feel like such a crime for something so innocent? Something that is supposed to be beautiful?

And Y/N… out of all people!

It had been a very tiring and stressful school year so far.

Potter’s birthday had coincided with Gryffindor’s win against Hufflepuff and thus, a joint party was thrown. Lily watched from the sidelines as Y/N’s back faced her. The glowing of lights, all charmed red, immersed her as she snapped an abundance of photos of a very plastered Potter having the time of his life. He stood on a table, drunkenly singing.

Another bright flash went off and she brought the camera down, took the photo and shook it. A wide smile plastered on her face as she watched the photo develop and her body shook with laughter. But as if Y/N knew Lily was staring, her head swivelled around with a smile so blinding that it hurt Lily’s heart; now filled with hot shame again.

She shouted over the loud music. “Petals! C’mon, let loose for once!” She pointed to the cup in hand.

Lily looked down, looking at the amber liquid filled to the brim of her cup, untouched. Her gaze looked back, giving her a shy thumbs-up and brought the cup to her lips. The bitter taste of Firewhiskey burned before spreading warmly through her. But, Y/N’s reaction was worth it.

Lily tried to still her heart as she ripped her gaze away. Y/N made her feel everything but calm, rational and level-headed. It was terrifying. 

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‘Round round get around, I get around, yeah

(Get around round round I get around, ooh-ooh) I get around’

“Hip-hip —” James bellowed, raising a glass filled with Firewhiskey in the air.

“HOORAY!” The Gryffindors roared back.

“Hip-hip —”

Throughout the night, Sirius danced with probably every girl there before he went to turn the record player louder, re-filling his glass. He watched as James hopped off the table and made his way to Emmeline, peppering her skin with sloppy kisses that made her laugh and eyes crinkle.

They all officially met her that night. She’s sweet, kind and they found out she’s just as crazy as James in the love department and they seemed beyond happy.

Peter was there, who looked at the two, almost enviously, faced stained red before solemnly bobbing his head to the music. Sirius didn’t think much of it, instead just passed it off as a sad drunk.

‘I'm gettin' bugged driving up and down the same old strip

I gotta find a new place where the kids are hip’

Sirius cringed; he was never a fan of the Beach Boys but Wormtail and Prongs loved it…

Students jumped, rocking to the blasting music. Some talked, some were snogging, others tipsy or drunk. Sirius grinned from ear to ears as he looked around the room, searching for Remus. He was already a pole light, he would stick out like a sore thumb. But instead of Remus, Sirius’ eyes settled on L/N; film in hand, talking to another student. He was blond, a year above them, large in stature and Sirius recognized him from the Gryffindor tryouts back in September. Aldrich McLaggen.

His face was beat red as he chatted with L/N, his hand toying with the sleeves as he looked her up and down, wearing a flirtatious yet apprehensive grin. The bastard was flirting with her.

Sirius felt himself grip his glass tighter than normal, his free hand bunched into a tight ball while pressing firmly to his side. Neither she nor Sirius spoke, aside from their Puffskein assignment and it was killing him. From the discomfort or wishing they had kissed that night — he didn’t know. But it was tortuously awkward.

“Padfoot,” came a voice. Remus leant against a nearby table as he sipped his drink. No matter how much he seemed to drink, Remus was able to knock back drinks after drinks without it affecting him. Sirius envied that but then the thought passed, eyes settling on L/N.

“Moomy.”

Remus followed Sirius’ eyes, scrutinizing the situation.

“She’s so annoying,” said Sirius. He didn’t even mean to speak, it just slipped out.

Remus’ brow rose. “Talking about this, again? She’s not. L/N’s my friend and I like her.”

Sirius shook his head. “She’s insufferable. Who does she think she is?!”

“... Who?”

“Just look at her!” Sirius exclaimed, using large hand movements. “She acts like she owns the place. Just because she’s new she assumes she’s better than everyone else! And —” Sirius continued to rant but Remus blocked him out, head shaking.

Fucking idoit, Remus thinks. He wants to slap Sirius silly. When will he stop talking about her?

“— taking all of my friends: Prongs, Lily, Marlene, Wormy, you! I was —”

“You sound like a child.”

“— so smart. The Slugclub? All filled with stuffy pricks — except you and Lily — the kicker, I’ve seen her with Regulus! A Slytherin! Come on. That’s just asking for —”

“Padfoot —”

“— don’t understand how —”

“Crikey! Sirius!” Remus scolded. Sirius went quiet, intimidated by him. Remus took a deep inhale, his eyes fluttering shut but asked, “Why do you hate her? Is it because of that fucking rejection because —”

“What?!” Sirius’s voice cuts, loud and booming to the point where several heads swirled to look at him.

Remus looked at them, making hand movements to shoo them off. “Mind your business.”

“Moony, you know me! Come on! Sure, I’m a dick, but I’m not that much of a dick!”

“Then what is it? It can’t just be that she’s annoying.” Of course, Remus was right again. Always so blunt and never failed to be clear-cut.

Remus then tipped back his drink in one go without a flinch and left Sirius’ side. He’d much rather do his prefect duties than listen to him go on about the same conversation for what seemed like the eighth time that week. With Sirius left to sulk, he sighed and looked back to the scene, feeling irrational jealousy bubble up.

L/N laughed at whatever McLaggen said, who leant into her ear. What an obvious bloke.

Maybe it was because of the mix of alcohol that made Sirius place his cup down and stride up to them, but even he knew it wasn’t just the Firewhiskey.

“I’ve always wanted to visit. How was it like living —”

“McLaggen.” Sirius’ voice came out gruff and cold.

Both their heads turned towards him and she sent him a look, telling him to go. But too stubborn, he stayed put.

“Um… Black. Hello,” McLaggen responded. Sirius continued to stand tall, body language closed off, telling him silently to leave.

Tosser. Pillock. Daft bimbo lookin’ arse —

The boy coughed awkwardly and threw L/N a tight-lipped smile. “See you!” She nodded her head, giving a small, friendly wave. “Bye!”

Sirius took his place instantly. “Finally, you said something right for once. He’s a git.”

L/N’s face scrunched up in confusion. She sent daggers his way and he had to stop himself from smirking. “Surprise,” he drawled, hands going up to shake in jazz hands. “You seem happy to see me.”

“Why are you talking to me? People might think we’re friends.”

“Like we were ever just friends.”

Her mouth hung open after registering what he said and Sirius felt like using an unforgivable curse on himself. Did he have to bring it up like that?

Sirius was all over the place with his thoughts. Point blank, he didn’t know what the fuck was happening. He so badly wanted to draw near, to touch her and hear that damn laughter, but did he?

His… very unwelcomed feelings — whatever they were, were beginning to get in the way of his already messy life. Was it the chase that made him feel so electric, the need to dive into someone else to cover up his own problems? Was this him dabbling in his unhealthy behaviours and would this just set him back? Sirius wasn’t sure and he walked a fine line.

Humans, especially those like Sirius, are social beings. Like most people, they craved recognition, approval and constant reassurance from those around them. People want to fit in that desired image but struggle to find happiness — lost in that perceived image they chase. Desired reality… it’s like a mirage. The constant back and forth only drained him and it had been more apparent than ever since the break. That pretty packaged Sirius — was that him subconsciously crawling its way out, making him lose the little progress he’s made by continuing whatever this was? A game, his true feelings or a way to be social, to fill that void settled deep within his chest?

But he doesn’t think so, and that freaked him out even more. What scared him was that he wanted to get to know all the little parts of her, no matter how much he tried to deny it. It felt like a mantra playing in his head, questions about her he wanted answered. But he could never be sure.

L/N remained silent and he cut in, trying to cover up his internal dilemma.

“Now look who’s the quiet one.”

“Be more conceited, will you?”

“Insolent brat.”

She grinds her jaw aggressively, to the point where he swears he can hear bones crunching but she holds back from a snarky comment. His mouth opens, ready to add on before L/N turns around to survey the room. He watches as she looks up to James and back to him and then a small, separate room that’s cut off from the main room. The last thing either wanted was to ruin James’ night or cause a scene. “Follow me.”

Sirius rolls his eyes, teasingly staying back a beat before another Gryffindor girl comes up to him. He’d danced with her earlier. “Pretty boy,” she greets, “Fancy another dance?”

Sirius’ eyes travel to L/N who’s eyes hardened as she stomped back up to him. “Sorry, but pretty boy” her voice dripping in obvious sarcasm, “Has somewhere to be.” Then, she tugged on the hem of his sweater and the action had Sirius’s heart flutter. He let her lead him through the crowd, nearing the room.

“Pretty boy? So you do think I’m pretty?” He smirked, watching her duck her head to prevent him from seeing her reaction.

Out of the entire student body he could’ve had feelings for — feelings he’s never felt before that caused him to go speechless, heart speeding and the urge to inch closer — it had to be her? She never knew how to take a joke either! How James and Remus were so fond of her, he didn’t know.

She shoved him into the small room, casting Muffliato. It was ill-lit, the only source of luminosity were the red lights seeping in the cracks of the door and the small window; twinkling stars shining just enough. The mixture of lights made her look alluring.

“What do you want?” Her voice is passive-aggressive.

You, he reckons. Or maybe a permanent silencing charm to never have to hear her speak again. Either seemed great.

Her eyes rolled, impatient as he remained silent. “Could you be anymore… confusing? You’re hot and cold! First, you’re nice to me, then mean. Then come up to me, ruin my conversation with Aldrich and now you’re silent.”

“Fine. I don’t want to be here with you, happy?”

“Like you didn’t start this.”

“It’s not my fault you’re infuriating, constantly running your mouth.”

She takes a deep breath, her hands rubbing her face and let’s out a frustrated groan. Her eyes snap back open, “I hate you.” The silence was loud.

Sirius felt himself freeze, eyes turning half-lidded as he took a few steps towards her. She backed up, sliver of a smile there. His chest rose, breathing deeply, “Say that again.”

L/N looked up at him with those eyes he swore looked right through him. Simply being that close made him feel as if he ran a marathon. Then, a wicked, yet timid grin worms its way on her face. Their soft breaths were tense, like if either were too loud, everything would come crashing down.

She repeats. “I hate —”

She doesn’t finish her statement as Sirius pressed himself against her, pushing her back but snakes a hand to prevent her head from hitting the jagged wall.

His voice was low. “Are you sure you want to say that again?”

Her breath hitches. He grins. She swallows. “I. Hate. Y—”

Each syllable was hushed as Sirius pressed his lips onto hers, gentle, sweet and hesitant, contradicting compared to their banter.

When the initial shock wore off, he felt Y/N respond to the kiss, deepening it. Her lips parted and Sirius slid his tongue inside. She was a bit clumsy, hesitant but eager. Sirius smirked at her. Everything felt startling, incredible and better than what Sirius imagined it to ever be like. He felt like a firecracker, a warm feeling spreading through his veins like fire.

She’s soft, incredibly so. His free hand went to roam around before settling on the base of her back, stroking the soft skin up and down. Her hand is threaded through his hair just hard enough that he has to bite back a groan. Her other hand is pressed firmly onto his chest and god — she feels so good.

To Y/N, Sirius tastes like what you think he would taste like. He tastes expensive, smells really good and his kisses are a lot softer than she expected — the very opposite of him: energetic, rough, messy and wild. Instead it’s delicate, sweet and velvety.

She’s the first to pull back and Sirius can’t help but move his head to try and catch her lips but settles on pressing his forehead against hers.

Their soft pants fill the air and Sirius feels like screaming. His skin is boiling and she looks beyond enthralling. Their eyes locked and her eyes washed over him with such an intensity that it could rival any ocean wave.

Neither spoke, just trying to process what happened, letting their eyes run wild before she tucks a fallen strand of hair behind Sirius’ ear. The action, so small and fairly insignificant, made something so bubbly flare in his chest.

Both of their pupils are blown wide and this time, she’s the one to lean in first; with a series of soft peaks before Sirius prolongs it. Both his hands are now on her face, tilting her head up before one goes to graze her neck.

There wasn’t a sinking or horrible feeling in his chest that made him feel used or worthless and he took that as a good sign to continue.

This time, it’s faster, rough and passionate and Sirius leads, his hips pressed against her, caging her against the wall. Her hand then went to embrace Sirius, her nails scratching down his back and he involuntarily slipped out a soft groan into her lips.

Merlin… she’s more intoxicating than any brand of alcohol he’s ever drunk.

Eventually, they simultaneously pulled away, using whatever sense they had left and Sirius was left feeling high and shaky. Y/N looked away first, Sirius continuing to stare wide-eyed.

“Um — w-we should — ugh — get going —”

“— Right, I was just about to…”

Sirius backed up, letting Y/N free as she went to sit on a nearby chair. Sirius ran a hand through his hair and stumbled back into the party. He exhaled deeply, fingers outlining his lips in shock.

He must be mad — blood fucking mad! They’re both equally mad!

God, he must be blushing like a damn fool and certainly, he’s not going to be able to sleep tonight. Blimey…

Once James saw him, he pointed and made a B-line, strutting over, his hips exaggerating until he swung an arm around him.

“Siriusss! You’re my best friend!” James ruffled his hair, “Did you know that? Merlin — you light up my world.”

Sirius felt himself smile, but he’s still not fully there. His mind thinks back to her touch: soft and fleeting and god does he crave more and — what is she thinking?

“In love with me? You’re going to have to get in line.”

“Love with all m’friends… Moony… Wormtail — Whiskersss.” James slurred his words slightly and went on a tangent but Sirius’ eye remained on the door, waiting for her to come back.

She’s taking an awfully long time. Fuck, did he push it?

“Mate — earth to Padfoot?” James says, this time knocking his fist on his head like a door. “SIRIUS! Yoo-hoo! In there?”

“Yeah — sorry. A lot’s on my mind.”

James studied him, looking a lot more sober than he did just seconds ago as he went to fix his glasses and said seriously, “Is it… the nightmares again? We can go and talk about it?”

This caught his attention. Ever since Valentine's, he’s been talking to James about them — or at least mentioning bits and pieces which helped a lot more than he expected. “What? No, no it’s not that.”

“But if it is, you’ll tell me, right?”

Sirius has to stop himself from snorting, but it’s all too endearing. “Of course — I’ve only gotten them two times this week.”

Prongs grins like a mad man, throwing his fist in the air. “That’s one down! Amazing! You are amazing.”

And then he hears the door click open and it’s her. She sent him a small smile, barely there but Sirius felt his heart swell. Marlene bounced up to her, pulling her into a dance along with Mary. He watched as her head tipped back with a smile so dazzling and he felt his skin turn fuzzy again.

She got under his skin like nobody else and he’s starting to love it.

#remus lupin x reader #sirius black x reader #marauders era fanfiction #the marauders #Marauders #marauders era #young marauders #harry potter marauders #Harry Potter #harry potter series #harry potter fanfiction #HP series #hp marauders #hp angst #Sirius Black #young!sirius black #young!sirius black x reader #young!Remus Lupin x reader #young!remus lupin #remus lupin x y/n #sirius black x y/n #James Potter #bisexual lily evans #sirius black angst #remus lupin x reader fluff #sirius black fanfiction #sbtmas #remus lupin one shot #lily evans #harry potter x reader

[ghostrick-battlemaster]

bobashow ep5

I know its supposed to be mostly downhill from here but I g o t t a

l o l DIN'S SIGH

gotta say I relate to the hind-biter, T E E T H is also one of my first instrincts

ting-ting-ting! the SOUNDS the darksaber makes!!!! the way it is DIFFERENT from a lightsaber in not just color, but blade shape, the sound, the maker it is used--it's a perfect marriage of Jedi and Mando 🖤✨

Din fucking up trying to use it like a normal sword rip 💀 also WHAT??? WHAT????? NO, THAT PURE BESKAR PLATE ON HIS THIGH DID N O T JUST YIELD TO A FUCKING SABER IDC THAT IT'S THE DARKSABER THAT'S SOME BULLSHIT

oops.... hey at least he git ahead 🤣 but damn he looks h u r t

Din, baby, stop being a big dumb bubblegum, please, it's not a good look for you

*ancient aliens dude meme* 👐👐 h a l o

AN AWKWARD ELEVATOR SCENE

my inner costumer wants to pause every 2 seconds, crikey uuugghhhh

invisible ink!!!! Mando style

wondering if Paz or the Goran did the fingerprinting 🤔

ladders....this is why mandos have grappling capabilities, Din 🤦

the darksaber... it's.... so smol in Paz's hands....

this entire sequence is fuckin rushed 😑

mandalor is already laid to waste, the ppl scattered, Goran 🙄

Paz moving that forge pretty much by himself lmao Din "heeellllping"

I really truly do wish someone had just killed Gideon. fucker deserved a slow death but he'll probs get out or get like. Uber fancy prison. ugh

ah, Din, your naivete is showing, baby

huh. I'll miss the spear, but I get the Armorer's perspective of beskar being for armor, not weapons able to pierce beskar'gam

....honestly that recounting of Kryze's failure is surprisingly unbiased and accurate imo. a lil heavy emphasis on the creed but eh, she's entitled to her opinions

"oh, you gonna steal ya baby back? aight, I'm down to stick it to the jettise 😏 let's do this"

"oopff!" *falls into space* 😂

she's so wise 🥺🥺🥺🥺

Paz: it's a family heirloom

Din: mine now, binch, nyaahhh

💯 the sword's possessed, this is fueling Ideas

WHAT DID YOU EXPECT WOULD HAPPEN TO YOUR KNIFE PAZ????

ah, good ol' hamstringing lol

the saber should've been doing more damage to the surroundings 😑

srsly the Armorer is giving me big Mystical Quest Giving NPC vibes this episode. I love her so much.

ooohhhhhhhh MAN!!! the way she turns her back to him

l m a o disarming for the flight 😂 its even funnier than I anticipated 🤣

BUT THEY LET HIM KEEP THE JETPACK 🤣🤦

kiddo!!!! adorable. love that Rodian bab

the present 🥺 is so t i n y 🥺

BABY DROID!!! lmmaaaaooooo mini droid army

and PEEELLLIIIIIIIIIII she's terrifying with blaster and not in a good way 😬

strongly believe R5 is Obi-Wan's old droid. or was that R4...??.?. 🤔 and BD is Kal's 😌

"what is this a, democracy???

WHAT TF WAS THAT CRITTER!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

she's LITERALLY a mechanic, I love it (I know bc I worked in automotive)

love....that's not a ship 🤦 Din's looking for a camper van, not a midlife crisis coupe 😂😂😂

(ngl we had a model of that you could put a rocket engine in and send into the sky then parachute down)

"this is a classic!" *CLUNK* can confirm, that's a classic (aka a project car)

THE ENTIRE JAWA BIT

PELI SPEAKING A JAWA TRADE LANGUAGE

"FURRY"

can confirm if you let you ride sit for even a month it will probably have critters aaaallll up in it

WHY THE FUCK DO I KNOW WHAT SHE'S TALKING ABT WITH THE MODIFICATIONS

lol Din, they're j a w a s. gutsy is like their collective middle name

s h i n y 👁👄👁

STILL NO CREW CABIN IN THAT BIRD, DIN, HOW YOU GONNA LIVE OUTTA THAT????

also this is 💯 Mando S3E1 😑 I came here for B O B A F E T T

SHE PUT A HOOD CARB ON A SPACECRAFT

....I really wanna drive it thru that canyon

lol, skeered a womp rat

RODIAN BABBY!!!!

Din got a case of the zoomies lol

lololololololololol HE KEEPS GETTING PULLED OVER

FUCKING L M A O

"wizard"

SURPRISE FENNEC!

I'm simping SO fucking hard

THAT S M I R K!!!!!

THAT W A L K!!!!!

she's so hot 😩🥵🤤

#star wars #bobashow #tbobf

[gayspock]

OK bake off ep 2

- the intro sketch is evil. i never want to see paul hollywood eat matt lucas ever again

- lizzie i do love you a lot but you are so obviously some sort of disney adult / harry potter adult and i could tell that before you mentioned the latter but god. im trying to live in bliss. so dont mention it again

- oh i loathe amanda . i fucking hate her. shut up. wriTTTTTing... SHUT UP !!!! SHUT UP!!! (GOES FOR HER THROAT)

- when no-brits tumblr dot com mock the bri'ish accent am ike 😁✌teehee cheeeeeseee ubt when oughghh. when a missus like her tries to take the piss out of it in a very clear classist context am like oh crikey. die i'll fucking go bite your nasty ankles you little cunt snap snap snap trust the cop 😐😑. i hate her shes the villain for me she shoulda went last week fr fr

- FREYAOIGGGUGHGHHGHG. I LOVE COFFEE FLAVOURED BAKES. OMGGG<3. YUMMY YUMMY

- rochica tooo omggg yaaayyy i love it my cute girlies

- AND CHIGS. YES ALL THE BESTIES WITH THE COFFEE COOKIES. KISS FOR ME PLEASE!

- JAIRZENOOOO THEYRE SOO YUMMY SOUNDING WOWEE!

- let him be chilled out i lurv it when the bakers are just calm and cool theyre like "well.. im in a pickle, arent i? aha oh well" its so funny

- jurgen (am sorry omg u dibt =have umlauts on my keyboard and im going fast live so icant paste them in) but wowee it looks so delicious and scrammy and-

- he has a mASTERS IN PHYSICS??? ITERALLY SORRY BUT HE IS THE BESTIE. I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN HE HAS THE ENERGY. EVERYONE DIE FOR JURGEN PLEASE! THATS AN ORDER!

- giuseppe being like ehrm. WELL ACTUALLY- to paul yeah go ahead you fucking tell him get his ass . giuseppe you point out that you- OH NO HE JUST DROPPED HIS BRANDY SNAPS

- OH NOOOO GIUSEPPE BESTIE NOOOO OMGGGGGGG

- i love everyone here btw (except for amanda) theyre all my besties they really are

- hahaa seeeee giuseppe did it in the end haaahaaaa paul (rips him apart)

- also i was busy during the ad break (was washing my face) but is prue.... whats that show with prue. -_- i hate it whatever it is.

- every time they bitch and , moan about too strong flavours i just dont trust it theyre not so bad this year but nonetheless its paul and prue fucking fusspots like shut uppppp

- YEAHHH BITCH. GIUSEPPE GET THEIR ASSES!! HE DISD WELL! HAHAHA, EGG ON YOUR GOD DAMN FACE PAUL

- JURGEN BOSSING IT YET AGAIN. HELL YEAH.

- (handshake) matt: it means nothing from me, you know jurgen: it means everything to me oH IM OBSESSED

- jammy biccies... :3

- oh for gods sake, yet again with the "its all about the temperature and its hot today" please stop, for the love of god, forcing the drama with this PLEASE. invest in AIRCON. its not giving the good tv bits you hope it does bestie...

- also paul being like "haha, well you're from south africa" to prue we dont need to be reminded. (gives prue a VERY stern stare)

- also subs arent on todays ep for some reason. um. -_-<-furious

- GIVE JURGEN STAR BAKER TWO WEEKS IN A ROW. NOT OUR FAULT HES SO FUCKING GOOD AT THIS.

- THE BAKING TERMINATOR.

- they need to stop giving them these stupidly hard showstoppers so early. fr, last week they had the gravity defying cake: when nadiya did that 5 years ago, that was like ICONIC and awe-inspiring... why the hell was it a week one bake? stoppppp over complicatying things besties. they just make a mess.

- like fr. they used to just have them make a structure, sure... likw why are they making them make full on interactive toys with gingerbread now?

- i hope amanda's rocking horse is the one that breaks. i hope her rocking horse dies.

- ASLO SORRY I KNOW YOU PROBS SHOULD BAKE STH YOU LIKE BUT. IT FEELS A BIT SILLY BILLY TO NOT BAKE GINGERBREAD BC YOU DONT LIKE IT WHEN ITS THE BISCUIT ALMOST NECESSARY FOR THE CHALLENGE?

- her choosing a soft cookie and then going ahhhh why is it breaking</3 HAHAHA AMANDA. GET IT.

- I LOVE it when they engineer cool stuff though its soooo epic. especially the engineers when theyre just sat there going fucking bonkers with all their little measurements-

- also wait. rochica??? how big will that be?

- OMG YES CRYSTELLE YESSSS YESS a makeup thingy. i would loooveeee that. literally sooo cool.

- i would love to make one of those heads. you know those doll heads. where you braid their hair.

- OKAY EVERYONES LOOKING SOOO COOL

- LOL. BYE BYE. AMANDA'S ROCKY HORSE.

- matt im screaming. "do you know whats wrong? british technology".

- GEORGE'S PLANE GOING ROUND IS SO SO COOL OMG.

- i didnt get giuseppe's but this is also very cool. the insane detail and engineering with them both.

- AND MY GOD. JURGEN YOUR FUCKING WINDMILL.

- sOMGGGGGGG CRYSTELLEEEEEEEE

- CRYSTELLE HONEY I LURVVVV IT WOWEEE

- IM THROWING UP OVER FREYA'S ROCKING HORSE VS AMANDA'S.

,- matt referring to his doctor who stint. i am obsessed. (slaps his bald head) love.

- oh my god if they send jairzeno home bc hes a lil messy i'll kill you boot amanda she trainwrecked completely

- literally jurgen and giuseppe. the literal mvps.but it would be SO fucking funny if jurgen got it second week in a row like yes bestie go for it ...

- starbaker is..- yes YES YES JURGEN STARBAKER 2.0 LITERALLY NO ONE IS DOING IT LIKE HIM

- now send amanda home. do it for me.

- ....

- .

- YOU'RE SENDING JAIRZENO HOME?

- I'LL KILL YOU I'LL KILL YOU I'LL KILL YOU I'LL LITERALLY END IT ALL FOR YOU HERE RIGHT NOW AMANDA'S LITERALLY DIDNT EVEN FUCKING STAND UP IM GOING TO KILL YOU WAIT HOW DID JAIRZENO DO IN THE FIRST TOO? BC AMANDA DIDNT SO WELL IN SIGNATURE OHHHH MY GOD

- IM SO ANGRY RIGHT NOW

- AMANDA SHOULD HAVE WENT LAST WEEK TOO CAN WE JUST FUCKING GET RID OF HER I DONT LIKE HER IM OBSESSED WITH EVERYONE ELSE IF SHE GETS FURTHER I'M KILLING IM BITING

- JURGEN BEING LIKE HIII BESTIE IM STARBAKER AGAIN AND WHOWEVER'S ONTHE PHONE BEING LIKE "my gooodness....." me memememememememe

#egg.txt #gbbo liveblog #oh well im so mad now grrr growls

[theyanderespecialist]

Deaf (Headcanons) Red Sniper X Deaf Reader (Yandere) (Team Fortress 2)

[Hello My Sexy Readers I am back with another chapter this one being Yandere Sniper plus the bonus or Deaf reader Please enjoy!]

-Headcanons With Read Sniper X Deaf Reader

.He was a sniper and he took his job serious.

.He plans to be doing it to the day he dies.

.One shot, one kill easy as that.

.He parents do not like his job and basically call him a crazy person.

.One day while in town to pick up the monthly supplies sniper comes across a girl.

.She seemed to be confused and was looking around.

.That is when he heard it a gun go off.

.While everyone was panicking she seemed to not notice and continue to look down at whatever paper is in her hands.

.He had to tackle her to the ground and she gave out an un holy noise.

.He looked at her and she was frantically moving her hands.

.That is when it hit him like a bus this woman was deaf.

.He got her to safety not even looking at her he prayed she could read lips.

.Stay here.

.She nods her head and stays behind the wall while he killed the fucking blues that were sit to kill him.

.Once he was done he looked back and his eyes meet the deaf girls they were your eyes and he felt his heart race for the first time in his like.

."Crikey." He says.

.He is the type to pamper his love and shield them.

.He never imagine a family before or settling down but with you oh he imagine you on a little farm in the out back bare foot and pregnant.

.Snuggling you and keep you safe and happy.

.Easily killing everything in his way.

.He would not have been one to lock you up.

.But now he is.

.From his typical, protective and loving nature as a yandere over his darling.

.With You deaf it changes.

.He knows you are at higher risk of getting hurt.

.So he becomes ever more over protective.

.He is always worried about you.

.What if you do not hear someone breaking in.

.What if you do not hear a gun shot like when he met you and you were killed.

.Oh he is worried about everything.

.But he does not want to lock you away either.

.So he learns sign language and trains you.

.He rather keep you soft and innocent but he cannot risk loosing you.

.He still loves you even when you know how to kill and to not be killed you are still you.

.The one and only thing he hates about you?

.You cannot hear him tell you how much he loves you that kills him the most.

[Damn Poor Sniper. He also is the type in general from my view not to lock away his darling which makes him stand out from most yanderes in almost all fandoms. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter AestheticSongbird was the one to request this and stay sexy my friends!]

#yandere #yandere sniper #yandere red sniper #yandere team fortress 2 #yandere tf2 #yandere headcanons #headcanons #TF2 #Team Fortress 2 #RED sniper #sniper #sniper x reader #reader #deaf reader #deaf

[eirabach]

beneath the lightning and the moon

With apologies to Coleridge, the Navy Hymn and the Submarine Service, a very quick Halloween story.

“Sea monsters.” Scott pinches the bridge of his nose. “Actual sea monsters."

“I know it sounds pretty crazy but --”

Buddy twists, his hologram beckoning out to someone out of frame, and Scott takes the opportunity to roll his eyes in Virgil’s vague direction. His actual view of his brother is blocked partially by the Pendergasts, but mostly by Gordon who’s leaning forward like an over excited pup facing the prospect of a particularly juicy bone.

“Ellie!”

“Hey, Gordo!” She waves. “Buddy filled you in?”

“Yeah!”

“Yeah, about that.” Scott holds a hand out, palm up, to keep Gordon from jumping right out of his seat. Just like puppy training. Kinda. “Thunderbird Five’s been scanning the area since you called it in, we can’t find anything untoward.”

“I know what I heard.” Buddy shakes his head. “Ellie took a recording, didn’t you love?”

“Sure did, hold on.” She taps at her tab, and Scott calls up John.

“This again?” he mutters, side eyeing the Pendergasts who are pressing their heads together over the tab. “I’ve run every scan --”

“Ah ha! Here, listen to this!”

Gordon practically falls off the sofa in his eagerness, Virgil catching at his belt loops to hold him in place. John is already turning away, his concentration already caught by something far more interesting than Buddy Pendergast’s --

“Report. Report.”

“Crikey! Did you hear that? What in the --”

The roar that echoes round the villa has Gordon flying back in his seat, brings Alan to the top of the stairs with his fingers in his ears. It’s a deep, awful sort of sound, muffled by water and distance, but there’s a sharpness  to it that reminds Scott of sheering, screaming metal. Of blood and flame and dust. It is not the sort of sound the Pendergasts ought to have been party to in a bathyscope. Sea monsters or not.

“Lion?” Alan yells. “‘S new!”

“Not a lio --!” Scott bellows back, but then the sound cuts off as sudden and as awful as it had begun. On the recording the only sound is the panicked panting of the Pendergasts, the gentle, steady beep of the sonar, and;

“Report. Report. Report.”

“Ya hear that?” Buddy shakes his head, and Ellie pats his arm. “I’ve heard some things in my time -- the cry of the Ozarks Howler, a Yowie party but this --” His eyes drop. “Was something else.”

Ellie’s arm wraps around his shoulders, and she turns a pleading expression on Scott.

“There’s something out there, you heard it.”

“Most of New Zealand heard it,” grumbles Alan, dropping down to sit next to Scott. “But -- I don’t get it. If you’re looking for sea monsters -- maybe you found one?”

John scoffs, but Buddy’s already shaking his head again, his gaze fixed to his feet.

“That’s not the issue,” Ellie insists. “Could be a Kraken, could be a Pleido -- either way --”

“I’m sorry.” It’s Virgil’s turn to interrupt, though at least he's more polite about it than John’s likely to be. “If you’re not calling us about the Sea Monster --”

“Either way,” Ellie continues, eyebrows pulling together. “Since when do sea monsters ask you to report?”

---

“You there yet, mate?”

“I think he means status, Thunderbird Four?”

“No drama, status Gordo?”

Gordon grins down at the twin holograms. John’s arms are tightly folded across his chest, but Buddy’s bouncing on his toes, his eyes bright.

“I’m good, coming up within range now. No sea monsters yet.” Buddy deflates slightly. John rolls his eyes. "Anything on the scans, John?”

“Clean as a whistle, I might find you some nervous clams if you’re --”

“MAYDAY MAYDAY MAYDAY KWLF034 KWLF034 KWLF034 POSITION 32.27.46.S 177.38.13.W.”

The words come again in a steady, heavy monotone. Male, probably. Human, anyway, and John’s eyebrows disappear into his hairline, his hand flying over his equipment as Gordon grabs for the comm. 

“Kilo Whiskey Lima Foxtrot Zero Three Four, this is Thunderbird Four.” He glances briefly at Buddy who’s biting at the skin of his thumb. “Report.”

Static blares through the comm. John scowls. “Nothing! How can --”

“I’m nearly five kilo deep, John. Whatever’s down here is not having a fun-- shit!”

The sound is worse down here, down deep in the dark where the only thing Four’s running lights catch on are the rising peaks of underwater mountains. It’s a scream, a shriek of metal and men and the thundering roar of water where there should not be and Gordon ducks, throwing his arms over his head in a frantic attempt to protect himself from -- from --

He peers out into the blackness. Four bobs gently in the current, unbothered and untouched. 

“Report,” pleads the comm and every hair on the back of his neck stands to attention.

“Nothing’s -- What --” He hits the comm, fingers slipping slightly even through the neoprene. “Zero Three Four, state your position!”

“Report, LR5.” Definitely human, definitely scared. “LR5? Do you read me?”

Gordon’s nose crinkles, “LR -- must be interference. Hang on. John I’m gonna send a pulse you ready?”

“Might as well,” John grumbles. “Nothing else is -- Eos! Have you been rearranging the databanks again?”

“Launching Ultra Sonar.” Gordon hopes that John’s too preoccupied with whatever Eos has done to the communication array to notice the way he squeezes his eyes shut before pressing the button. He doesn’t believe in sea monsters -- not Buddy’s kind of sea monsters anyway -- not any more than he believes in mermaids. 

But there’s something out there. Something loud. Something loud and invisible to human eyes and John alike, and the last surprise the Ultra Sonar turned up had really not ended well for him at all.

Lights flare into life across the dash as the Ultra Sonar sweeps through the crevices, dips down toward the distant trench bottom, and Gordon finds himself holding his breath, waiting, waiting --

“MAYDAY MAYDAY MAYDAY KWLF034 --”

“Roger that Zero Three Four, I am receiving you loud and clear what is your status.”

The static fizzes again, louder, more insistent, and over it, through it, the clang clang clang of what sounds like a hammer against a hull. His hull.

“Jesus fuck what is that? John!”

“I’m getting nothing from here!”

The noise grows louder, closer, and he can feel it through his seat now -- any second -- any second and it’ll be beneath his feet, right where the running lights reflect his own sheet-white face in the plexiglass.

Until they splutter, stutter. Die away to nothing and the darkness left lit only by the faint, static laden glow of the comm symbol and two pale, watching faces.

The silence is perfect.

The silence is awful.

Buddy opens his mouth; Gordon presses a finger to his lips, and he snaps it shut.

The comm symbol flickers, red to amber.

“Zero Three Four,” Gordon hisses, “God damn --”

“-- ur power evermore whose arm doth reach the ocean floor --” the voice on the comm warbles, unsteady and growing much, much higher. A boy's voice, almost. Clear of static and as pure as though the singer were sat beside him, and Gordon listens, enthralled, as the running lights flicker back into life.

Or at least, someone’s do. Someone huge and black, rising from beneath him with running lights turned green with age and a hull torn and tattered. Colours not used for a century flying from a mast that hangs limp, a looming blackflashed conn tower where someone -- someone still sings.

“Virgil! Virgil I need you now!”

A dozen someones, no, more, two dozen, a hundred, and Thunderbird Four’s engines howl in displeasure as Gordon throws himself backward, heaves himself towards the surface, sweat in his eyes and blood in his mouth and his ears -- his ears ringing with a hundred voices, clear and bright and impossible as they beg:

“-- dive with our men beneath the sea.”

---

Buddy hovers over him, generously letting him finish puking his guts up against the wall of the module before he says anything. He’s good like that. “Not sea monsters, then?”

Gordon shakes his head weakly.

"Not unless season 17 is heading in a very different direction, no."

Virgil hands him a towel.

“Deep sea pressures can lead to hallucinations, there must be some --”

“Pardon me Virgil mate, but I heard --”

“Me too.” John is quieter than usual, his grip on his arms unusually tight. “There was nothing on the scans but --”

“M-mass hysteria,” Brains concludes, popping out of Virgil’s wrist comm to tut at the state of Four’s post-dive. “It’s the simplest --”

“General quarters.” Gordon doesn’t look at any of them as he wipes his face with a shaking hand. “The hammering -- they were calling me to General Quarters.”

“I don’t know --”

“Battlestations,” he rounds on Virgil, panic curdling into anger in the last of the bile he spits onto the ground. “No one -- no one came to help them. They wanted me to help them. And I ran.”

“Gordon --” 

"You don't get it!"

"Gordon, I do, I understand but -- there's no such thing as ghosts."

Buddy and John let out similarly uncertain little noises. Brains presses the heel of his hand into his forehead. Gordon just scowls, and jabs at his comm.

“Kilo Whisky Lima Foxtrot Zero Three Four, do you copy?” The line hangs, Gordon’s fingertips white with the force of pressing it down, the balric shaking under his hand. “Repeat, do you copy? I’m sorry.” It’s a whisper, a plea. “Zero Three Four, stand down. All clear, I repeat. All clear.”

“Gordon, there’s no one --”

It’s different up here. A thin, ready warble. Distant and skittish, as though being played through some ancient radio frequency that skips with every heavy breeze, but it comes all the same. Plays through Gordon’s comm and echoes off the carbon fiber frame of Two, wraps itself around Four’s still dripping nose. 

“ -- keep them safe from peril in the deep.”

Someone -- John -- whimpers, but Gordon grits his teeth, stares out at the churning ocean and swears, "Roger that."

#thunderbirds #thunderbirds are go #gordon tracy #happy Halloween!

[spidey-81]

Gonna pin this here so it'll be easier to remember.

HASHTAGS AND THEIR USAGE:

#Spidey talk = Me just talking things

#Spidey's Movie Marathon = Probably me talking about watching MCU movies

#Spidery Talks = Possibly for asks if I end up ever being able to learn to draw my version of a Spider-Man

#Spidery Chat = Text posts if I ever manage to make any scenarios that make sense

#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA = I'm probably yelling about something that won't be of your interest, or I saw very good art, look man, I just started posting here, I haven't thought this out yet

#SpidArt = I learned how to draw

FAQ:

This is a side blog. For Marvel stuff. Spider-Man stuff. I think. Maybe. Possibly. Potentially. Perhaps.

Look, I'm just your friendly neighbourhood comic fan, I also love Batman and Batboys and I'm gay for Dick Grayson (who isn't tho). It's possible that I derail.

Uhh I don't really have any nicknames but call me Spider or Spidey or something. I'd try to think of a clever nickname based on the numbers or something but the one I just thought about sounds like séance and I'm not into that. I gotta work on that. I suck at names.

I don't like rude people, or people who swear. Because rude people and people who swear sound angry. And angry people are scary. So let's try to not do that, capisce? I'm also more likely to answer people who don't sound angry. List of swears that make me uncomfortable will be listed below. It's not a long list, but it does have the ones that make me flinch.

I can't remember numbers of anything. And my math sucks. I mean I can sometimes guess right, but don't expect me to solve math. I will get it wrong. Because I overthink. And then I do it wrong. Because I second guess. And then I find myself crying under the desk. It's complicated okay? I have a very complicated relationship with math. It's like an ex you broke up with under weird circumstances so you're no longer sure if you're cool or if you can expect her to pull out a gun and point at you.

I am chronically allergic to bs and attempts of being befriended. I can geek about games and comics and characters and movies and games with you though.

I don't want weirdos in my DMs so the DMs will be closed. Forever. Bots man.

Every p**n related blog that follows will be blocked. I don't wanna see that, I don't need to see that, I am repulsed by seeing that and if I wanted to see that I would go to an r18 site to search for it. And I am choosing to stay on this site instead.

Sir, this is my emotional support hell.

The profanity blacklist (might change in the future): any iteration of Fuck or motherfucker (f, mf, etc etc), wanker/tosser, bitch (or any insult that does have that word added to it), pussy

Profanities that I can tolerate: cunt & dick (they're basically used when you talk about friends in my area, though US citizens may have a problem with these), bugger off, piss off, bastard, bollocks, bloody hell, hell, damn, taking a piss, shit, asshole, choad, crikey, rubbish, twat, bloody oath, root, get stuffed, bugger me,

The ones I can tolerate probably won't resonate that much with the US speakers but I highly recommend that you look up what some of these actually mean, there's a very helpful site over here that can give ya some insight to these.

#pinned post #profanity #swears #Cursing #tw profanity #tw swearing #tw cursing