Tumgik
#CRY FOR REVISIONS LATER
procrastinating hit so hard i started exploring my tumblr drafts
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coffee-bat · 4 months
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i think it should be illegal for there to be so many good and almost normal moments, only for them to suddenly turn around and say that if you want to kill yourself then they won't stop you
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You know that bit of year eleven where you've finished all the content for the courses you're doing but it isn't quite exam season yet so it just feels like you're in limbo... how from the very start of the year I just felt like I was waiting for the 15th of May, to start the exams I've been prepared for since I was four... all the threats and practice and now it's real and it's like you just can't process it, something that has been nothing but a looming shadow for so long is suddenly so real and just around the corner. Full circle. It'll all be over and my mind just can't figure out what to do with that knowledge.
#Its very similar to that one specific Neurodivergent™ mood where something's happening later in the day#so you Cannot Do Anything until then#Like I feel like I'll fail if I even mildly divert from doing revision#I've stopped sewing and watching the shows I like#Everything I do now pertains to Passing My Exams#There's something there isn't there#The threat finally becoming a reality#The threat of failure whenever I didn't do my homework or wasn't in school enough#Even when I was seriously ill#“you'll fail your GCSEs” is all I've ever heard#“it'll look good on the exam”#“The examiners want to see this even though they haven't specified that you should include it” so we're supposed to just guess?#Years of mark schemes and “what the examiners want to see” and “how they'll try to trip you up”#Over a decade of being told about these faraway exams that will shape my life#Five years of “you'll fail your exams if you don't do xyz” whenever someone wanted me to do something#Five years of using these exams as an excuse to work myself to death because it was that or face the pain#Five years of having to be perfect and it'll all just be... Over#It's a strange kind of freedom that I know I'll look back on and cry#A strange feeling of being able to breathe for the first time#And simultaneously the feeling of dread#The one constant in my life#The exams I was told I would someday face#Is about to be gone#No more excuses#No more running from my problems#No more endless revision and homework and “your grades will drop if you're ill”#Just silence#It'll be Over and I just can't process that#gcse revision#gcses
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icejello · 1 year
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Help I have so many song inspired fanfic of Kavehtham in my mind
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cosmic-navel-gazin · 2 years
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I cannot fully express how much I love the inciting incident of John Carpenter's Starman (1984):
 what if one of the two Voyager space probes we launched in 1977, containing a golden record with the sounds and images of Earth, inviting other life forms to come say hi and visit our planet, was discovered and the alien who found it is like 'UUUUUHH I'll come and say hi!',
and then immediately gets his ass shot down by the US military.
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lilacthebooklover · 2 months
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why are james blunt songs making me sob, this was supposed to be nostalgic and cathartic hhjkjghfkg
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quaintii · 10 months
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A small drabble.. of Miguel having a breeding kink.
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Warnings: MDNI !! 18+ choking, no plot just smut, spanking, breeding kink, Miguel x fem!reader, nipple play, more. enjoy <3 (I didn't revise this, pls send some requests)
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Miguel has you bent over the kitchen table, pounding into your sweet pussy while making sloppy sounds echoing around you. He pushes deeper inside of your cunt every thrust he takes, which made you clench around him.
Prickled tears falling down your cheeks, his calloused hands around your throat, making you face the mirror infront of your kitchen. "Don't make a sound, bebé.. don't want to wake up the baby.."
"I want you to see how good you look while being fucked like a slut." Miguel whispered in your ears and bit your shoulders while kissing your back, leaving many marks for later.
You whined and pleaded for him to stop being so rough on you, in return he slaps your ass for speaking back at him. "You like a good fuck don't you? You fucking slut. Taking me so well, you keep sucking me in..good girl.." He groans
Miguel pushed his body weight onto you, the gasps and moans emanating into the air, making the atmosphere thicken. You cover your mouth to not wake up your newborn, quivering as you could feel Miguel pound into the sweet plushy soft deep in your cervix. He grabbed onto your holds, gripping tightly as he changed positions, holding you in a mating press position on the counter.
The new angle makes you twitch around him, clenching him harder as he was swirling his tongue around your nipples and sucking your breast milk. You tasted so good on his tongue.
Miguel loved seeing your fucked out face as you gasp for air and trying your best not to scream and cry when he pounded deeper into your wet, scorching, cunt. "You look so good with my babies inside you, Mami..." He kissed and flicked your nipples with his tongue to get more reaction out of you.
"Feel that? Feel how fucking hard I am?" He pants into your ear, nibbling on it. He pressed his calloused hands on your stomach, feeling himself deep inside you. "You feel so good, mami." His hands traveled where you two connected, rubbing your clit in circles. "You want it so badly, don't you amor?" He sneered. Your skin buzzing with pleasure. "I want to see your belly round and swollen from my cum, baby. I want to see you filled up from me." He moaned.
"Please M-miguel" you whined incoherently. "I'm gonna fill your pretty pussy full of my cum, baby." He groans and pants on your neck, leaving bite marks as he sunk his fangs deep. Your walls fluttered around him. The dam completely broke, leaving you seeing nothing by stars as you rolled your eyes to the back of your head. "Oh m-miguel..p-plea..fuck im.." Your walls clench around him as he keeps chasing his orgasm, your throat choking out your moans as you fall into pure bliss. Tears running down your face with your mouth quivering. He cursed under his breath as you fell apart under him. His thrusting was frantic as he fucked you through your orgasm. He loved how each thrust made your breasts bounce back and forth.
Your orgasm completely blinding you, tumbling into ecstasy. Seeing your fucked out face, was enough to send Miguel over the edge. His jaw fell apart and his eyebrows furrowed together, savouring the delicious feeling of your cunt clenching around his cock. The slapping of skin against skin drew him insane. He kept plummeting his cock deep inside your cervix, kissing that sweet soft you loved so much. His thick brown locks sticking on his forehead from the sweat. The atmosphere thickening as pants of your eachothers breaths fill the room. Clouding the kitchen windows.
Choked little moans keep escaping your lips, now in an almost unconscious state. Miguel comes with s loud grunt, filling your womb to the brim. Breathy pants were heard as he laid his head onto your shoulders, feeling your heartbeat and begins steadying his breathing. He pulls out slowly and pushed his thick fingers inside your cunt, making you jolt forward to his face. "Can't have any of this go to waste, mami," he says, pushing your combined fluids inside. Your swollen cunt overflowing with his cum.
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Miguel carried you bridal style to the bathtub, running his hands through the water making sure it's warm for you. He goes in first and places you on top of him. Your back on his chest. He washed your body while giving caressing kisses along you back and neck. Grabbing your face and kissing you softly.
He massages your back and washed your hair. He placed kisses all over your body, warmth being left. As you both finish washing up, he placed clean sheets and brought you close to him. You snuggled underneath his head, cuddling him. "I love you Mig." You say softly. "I love you too, baby." He whispered. The sounds of the night put you both to sleep.
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a/n: stayed up til 2 30 am writing this cuz I luv y'all sorry I haven't been online! Personal stuff going on a lot recently, but I'll be sure to feed you guys some more smut! Send me some requests!! I love u guys very much 🩷🩷
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medium-rare-bimbo · 9 months
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Perv! Eddie munson x naive! Innocent! Reader
♡Smoking with Eddie <3
☆ if there are any spelling and grammar mistakes no there arent
♡masterlist♡
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MINORS DNI
  contains: Dubcon, drugs, darkish! Eddie
༺*:゚・✧・:*:゚・♡ readmore ♡・゚:*:・✧・゚:*༻
When he invited you over to his trailer you first thought that he need extra help with his english work, which was true he did need help with his english work but that wasnt why he invited you over. He had noticed the interest you had expressed around getting high, it started off as innocent questions that he didnt think much of such as;
"why do people get high?" "do all drugs feel the same?" "Why do you do drugs?" And much more similar questions, eddie was heavily against it when he picked up your unsubtle questions however after some heavy thinking (and masturbating), maybe having you fuzzy and malleable was a good thing, if he was lucky he would get you so high you wouldnt remember the groping he'd do.
You had arrived to his trailer with your bag filled with school and revision work, you had been hesitant to knock afraid that he hadnt actually wanted you to come over and it was all a misunderstanding, overthinking on your part. fortunately for eddie you pushed aside the anxieties and knocked. Almost immediately eddie opened the door as if he was waiting for your knock, he quickly invited you into his room, sitting you on the bed, you begin to open your bag to pull out the equipment before he stopped you. "Actually.. I- uh I was thinking we could do that later y'know? Like let's- lets hang out for a little"
"Oh yeah sure! What do you have in mind?" You quickly closed your bag placing it near the end of his bed, looking up at him, you noticed the slight nervousness that radiated off him
"We can um- read some comics- just dont touch the ones you find under my bed or the ones in my bedside table they're- uh they're... limited addition? Yeah limited addition, definitely dont want anyone to touch them-" his voice cracks inbetween words as he desperately tries kick one of the "comics" in question under his bed "- o-or we can just talk.."
"I dont mind it if we just talk, i- I don't really like comics that much.. no offense or anything I'm sure they're great!"
Eddie released a breath he didnt know we was holding in and awkwardly sat on his bed next to you, glancing at you as the room became silent minus the low sound of his mixtape playing in the background.
"So um how is the hellfire going? I heard that will byers joined recently that must be fun h-hes a sweet kid I used to babysit him, sometimes I'd join in with the game but I never understood it-" your face turned hot as you spoke slightly embarrassed that you were saying this to the dungeon master himself "s-sometimes steve and Jonathan tried to join but they didn't know much either so it made me feel better about it. One time nancy joined and got so-"
He cut you off "are you close with Jonathan and steve?" His nose flared and hands clenched as he asked you
"I mean i guess- i-i um I used to babysit will and dustin and- and sometimes I still do so it's hard to not be close to them y-y'know?"
"Do you like them?"
"I- what of course I do they're my friends-"
"No- do you like LIKE them?"
You breathed in feeling exposed and vulnerable letting tears well in your eyes the thought if your fleeting crush being so visible mortified you "I- well I um- I used to have a small crush on both of them like a long time ago b-but I never tried anything! I dont like them anymore- I-" he placed his hand on your thigh
"Hey hey hey its okay I was only asking, I'd go for steve 'the hair' harrington too" he joked, quickly easing your nerves and calming you from the breakdown you were possibly about to have. Soon the conversation picked up and you both began talking about school, games, music, life and anything that crossed your mind. Eddie had seen the way you reacted to his questions and a part of him felt bad for upsetting you, he didnt mean to make you almost cry, he just wanted to know if he had any competition he didnt mean to embarrass you.
The conversation soon died down lulling you both in a comfortable silence, clearing his throat "do you um- do you mind if I smoke? I know you dont do that stuff so I just wanted to ask incase-"
Almost like a dog being asked to go on a walk your eyes lit up and you nodded your head cutting him off from his sentence "yes sure go ahead I dont mind i- this is your room"  Eddie exhaled and pushed himself near the wall of his bed, he sat snug in the corner and put his hand between the mattress and the wall pulling out a box containing his secret stash and various pre rolled blunts and joints, he had hid before you came thinking that seeing it would scare you off. he pulled out a joint looking at you for approval before lighting it, as he dragged the joint to his lips he took notice of your eyes following his movements, the way your pupils would dilate when he flicked his tongue out to dampen his lips.
He inhaled the drug, holding it in his lungs before exhaling away from you, he smirked as you watched the smoke crawl around the room. "D'ya wanna try it?" Your head whipped back to face him, you looked at him with wide eyes before trying to form a sentence that he could understand
"I've never done anything like that so- so I dont know how um I- think you should just- um just do it" you avoided his gaze that bore into you, he grabbed your hand and tugged you closer to him forcing you to shuffle to get closer to him , he placed the joint near your lips
"Its easy, all you gotta do is breathe in and breathe out-"
"Like breathing?"
"Exactly like breathing sweetheart" he smiled pushing it closer to your lips, your hand holding his trying to comfort yourself aswell as allowing yourself to push it away at any moment. You looked him in his eyes as you took a drag, holding back a groan he waited a moment for you to pull back and exhale. unfortunately when you did you immediately started choking on your breath, tears brewing in your eyes and falling as the coughing continued eddie chuckled and patted you on the back praising you despite your fail.
"You did so well for your first time, so good even if you did choke a little. How about we try again-"
You shook your head as soon as the words left his mouth "nuh uh, no. s'too hard hurt my chest" you said, voice wavering still trying to recover from the assault on your lungs. Eddie smiled and lay back patting his chest for you to lay on it, he took a drag and let you wiggle yourself across his bed, your leg straddled his thigh, tangling themselves with his. Sighing into his chest you breathed in his scent feeling better now that you had some comfort
Your head lay on his chest where he raised a hand to your hair and started to trace patterns and shapes into the side of your head gliding his fingers through the baby hairs along your neck and up the side of your cheeks, he pulled your head up and leaned down, you tried to back away not wanting to take advantage of his high state, as his lips were centimetres away from yours he blow his smoke into your mouth, this time you didnt choke. As he pulled back he looked at your large pupils and smiled "y'like that?" You didnt respond too awestruck with what had just occured, unconsciously dragging yourself forward to get closer to him.
Eddie took another drag, before repeating his actions, he didnt think it would take much to get you feeling warm, you were a virgin in this field and he was a prostitute. You lay your head back on his chest looking up at him with adoration, the drug clearly kicking in. Eddie began his plan and moved his free hand from your head taking his time to feel your body as he makes his way down to your thighs.
You melted as he pulled you closer forcing your clothed cunt to press against his thigh, taking this as a hint, he took a drag and blew the remnants into your mouth. Your hips, without your control, began rocking against his thigh making him groan under his breath, your eyes were half lidded and your hands were resting on his chest, "that feel good?"
You slowly nodded "makin' me all fuzzy" as you continued your grinding
"Yeah? You like it?" He cooed at you. pushing his leg up to meet your lazy thrusts, moaning, you dumbly nodded your hips jerking up against him trying to get release, something you've never had before. Eddie softly bounced his leg, forgetting about the joint and placing it on his table moving his hand to your hips, pulling you flushed against him, the other groped around your body feeling as much flesh as he could manage to get his hands on.
"Eddie feels s'good 'like it- f-feels nice w-want more"
"Yeah? M'not giving you enough? You're so greedy"
He pressed you down on his bulge, your clit knocking against the zipper of his pants causing you to jolt away from it as if it burnt you. Eddie forced you to stay put letting you sit up to look down at him, he let you continue your pathetic thrusts letting you get used to the feeling of direct contact to your clit before guiding you like before.
"Ah- eddie! Again!- w-wan' more"
You whined from above him as you could feel your orgasm build up, your panties were now soaked seeping into the material and ruining his pants. luckily eddie enjoyed that he could feel your juices against him, pulling you down harsher he bucked his hips against yours pushing you over the edge refusing to stop even when you cried that you coudlnt take it.
"S'too much eddie stop! S'too much feels weird don' like it eddie dont like it"
"Ssshh-shut up- shut the fuck up- oh god fuck- take it for me c'mon fucking take- make me feel good baby-"
Eddie was in heaven right now and hed be damned if he let your overstimulation ruin it for him. he continued to use you for his own purpose soon flipping you over so you lay under him, thrusting against your clothed pussy which was now soaked and puffy from his abuse. The sight beneath him was a sight for sore eyes. youre face soaked with tears, drool coating your lips, a light bucking of your hips, it pushed him over the edge forcing him to cum in his pants like he was a virgin.
His head fell into the side of your neck as he prolonged his orgasm, your legs flinching as he grazed over your clit once more. Desperate for comfort you moved your face to muzzle the side of his head, he tilted your face and kissed your drool coated lips "did s'good for me baby, so so soo good" eddie pulled you up turning you around and pressed you back against his chest, one of his hands resting on your spine and the other in your hair.
When you woke up the next day you were none the wiser on why you were laying on top of eddie or why your thighs were so sticky, you barely remembered last night but you assumed it had been good because eddie was smiley the entire day
"Was last night good? I dont remember"
"Oh absolutely you were so high, you'll get a higher tolerance as you get used to it we can do this again if you want" almost as if god was on his side you agreed
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quirrrky · 7 months
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. : ・゚✦ ONLY LOVE CAN HURT LIKE THIS
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KUROO, BOKUTO, OIKAWA, IWAIZUMI; when you thought your love for them was unrequited, but is it really?
≡ NOTES ⋮ Oikawa's hits different on this one 🥺
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KUROO
"Looks good," Kuroo commented over your shoulder—his cheek just a mere few inches from yours. "Nice work as usual, Y/N."
You refused to look at him directly. At least, not this close. Everything about Kuroo was just admirable. He excelled at work, got along with everyone and bore looks that always fit his business attire. Aside from that, you never knew anyone who understood you in the way he did. But you're just colleagues. You knew it was only that for him.
"Are you free tonight?" He pulled back and asked. Finally, you could gaze back at him.
"I have nothing else to do and it's weekend tomorrow. I can spare some time. Is there something I need to revise?"
He placed his hands on his hips. "This is why you're single, Y/N," he sighed. "Go on a date! I know someone. I think you'll like him alot. I could set you two up later."
You forced a smile. Kuroo had been consistent in setting you up with some other guys. It hurt everytime, because you're not interested in them, you wanted him instead. You liked Kuroo a little more than you should and it's hopeless. You were hopeless.
"Fine," you surrendered. Just to put an end to this. You couldn't be hurting everytime he'd ask you to meet someone else for a date.
Evening came and you walked to the meeting place, still trying to accept the reality that Kuroo never liked you in the same way. After all, he asked you to date some other guy and it was totally cool for him to let you be with someone else.
"Y/N!" Kuroo called as he approached you.
"Oh, Kuroo..." You greeted a little melancholic then you looked behind him and around you, "Your friend? Is he....already here?"
"Friend?" He narrowed his eyes. "What friend?"
You tilted your head in puzzlement. "You told me that you'd set me up on a date with someone."
"Yes, I did. But Y/N..." He said, leaning forward and casting a mischievous smirk. "... that someone is me."
You were baffled still couldn't believe that he liked you back.
Kuroo could see the disbelief and joy in your eyes. God, he'd been wanting for things to come to this for so long. Finally, your eyes locked and he inched closer. His lips captured yours in an all-consuming kiss that got you gasping when he pulled your body against his. You felt weak in the knees that you didn't want it to end.
Slowly, he pulled away still pinning your gaze while you were left wanting for more.
"I told you," he whispered to you, closely. "You'll like him alot." He playfully grinned.
And though you wanted to give him a lighthearted slap you couldn't deny that yes, you like him a lot.
BOKUTO
Confident that his team would win, you immediately ran towards Bokuto. A grin widely spread on your face as you went towards the hallway on your way to meet him before he head over to the lockers. Turning to the corner, however you saw him kissing a girl. She was tiptoed with eyes closed as she had his face cradled in her hands.  
It crushed you.
Tears instantly pooled at the corners of your eyes and your instinct pushed you to turn back and run away. You were so much in a haste that you bumped into Akaashi without even noticing. 
All this time you held affection for your best friend. You never knew that a day would come when you’d feel so much more for him. You tried to fight back the feeling but it turned out unsuccessful like always. Maybe a sliver hope remained in you because you never saw him with someones else until now. 
Maybe this was the sign to let go.
You sat at the bench of a bus stop and hugged your bag firmly as tears began to trickle down your cheeks involuntarily. It’s so stupid! Why’re you crying? 
“Y/N!” You heard Bokuto’s voice called out to you. His tone, laced with urgency and worry. He sat beside you you and draped an arm across your shoulders. “What’s it? What’s wrong? Akaashi told me you don’t look alright. Hey, Y/N…Are you…are you crying?” You could definitely hear his sad face from his voice.
You just shook your head refusing to look his face. You knew. You knew you couldn’t afford to face him like this. 
“Hey, Y/N…answer me.” He begged as he leaned his head against yours like a puppy. “Why’re you crying? What’s wrong? Did I do somethin’? Please tell me. Are you mad at me?” 
Still, you’re resisting until he cupped your face and made you look at him. “Hey, hey... you know I love you, right?”
Hearing those words yet you knew it meant different for you teared up caved in and said, “We can’t be friends anymore.”
“But why?” He asked with a pout. 
You gripped your bag, mustering all the courage you could. “Because…Because I can’t take seeing you with some other girl.”
“What do you mean?” Bokuto paused for a brief moment, tilting his head while trying to figure things out.
“I saw you….kissing-“
”Oh that! I don’t even know her name. She just suddenly went in for it.” He explained and rubbed the back of his head. “Geez…Y/N if I’d kiss someone, it would rather be you.”
Your eyes widened in shock. “H-Huh?”
”Well, yeah…I’ve always been wantin' to kiss you.” Bokuto leaned his face close to yours. “Do you…”
“Do I...?”
“Do you wanna kiss me too?” He asked and you blushed. One moment you were crying and now your heart was pounding loud.
“I…” You trailed off as got lost in his pleading gaze. Your eyes lulled close and soon you felt his lips soft against yours. It was sweet, slow and magical that when he pulled away you breathlessly muttered, “I love you.”
Bokuto beamed with eyes like he was about to cry out of joy, “I can’t believe it. You finally say it back.”
OIKAWA
It was dumb for a wallflower like you to even believe that Oikawa Tooru, everyone’s dream in your campus, would fall in love with you. It started when he would casually talk to you along the hallway.
Eventually, you became classmates and he would sneak from his volleyball practices just to bother you as you studied alone in an empty room after class. Then, he would join you during lunch from time to time and would give you a packet of his favorite milk bun sometimes.
You felt special. He’s the only person who made you feel seen. He made you feel like you existed. While others chose to pass you by, he would stop in his tracks to greet you. You could still recall the melodious way he’d call your name. Y/N-chan! You anticipated his casual visits to you everytime. It was like the best part of your day.
There’s always a little smile reserved just for him. That kind of smile he said he loved seeing. You loved Oikawa Tooru, but to think a mere peasant like you would be noticed by a prince, it was all a mistake.
There were rumors about him pursuing some other girl. You thought it was just a rumor until they ended up together. You’re such a fool for believing in fairytales. Gradually, you drew a distance between you. You’re no longer receptive of charms or, at least, you showed you weren’t. Next thing you knew he flew to Buenos Aires and he was all a fairytale.
Years passed and you didn’t know how you end up visiting your campus again. Memories of him flashed back and a bitter smile appeared on your face. You still thanked him for everything, because even just for a year, you felt important. He showed you how valuable you were and how much you needed validation, consequently realizing that the appreciation that would make you whole was not from him, but from yourself.
You would never forget him, though, for showing you what a fairytale looked like even just for a moment in time. 
“Y/N-chan!” A familiar voice called out and you found him...Oikawa....He’d grown a lot now. Wrinkles on the side of his eyes and shoulders broader than the last time you recalled. “Have you...forgotten about me?” He asked, sounding sad.
“How can I?” You replied.
“Yeah, I guess. I was pretty memorable back then, huh?” He rubbed the back of his head. “I...I haven’t forgotten you though.”
You gulped. Why do you still feel happy? “Really?” You asked. “You have a lot swarming around you. I’m pretty sure I’m forgettable.”
How could he forget you? How could he forget the one who looked past his recognition and physical appearance? You listened to him tirelessly about volleyball without complaining. You were invested in him when he showed his vulnerabilities. You didn’t run away in times you couldn’t understand him anymore.
You were perfect. In fact, too perfect for him. He knew back then that all he had in his immature brain was to reach for his dreams. He didn’t want to hurt you like how he did others because he’s not free to invest time. Next thing he knew you slowly slipped away from him and you were just his fairytale.
“How could I forget you?” He smiled, bitterly. “My Y/N-chan with the beautiful smile.”  
You both chuckled. The ache of the past memories was being purged out. Somehow, it’s such a relief. 
He extended his hand and you meekly took it. 
“Tooru, please call me Tooru now.” And maybe this time things would work out the way it should’ve been.
IWAIZUMI
You basically grew up together. He was your brother’s best friend and he’d always hang out with him and had sleepovers in your home. They would usually join you as they played. Sometimes, they played as your princes, winning over who could save you from the daunting aliens.
But Hajime was always your prince.
Even when you were little, you dreamt of marrying him. It was all just a childish dream back then, but as you grew older, it was nothing sort of childish anymore. You could never imagine anyone else to be with for life other than him.
However, when your Tooru-nii began living in Argentina, Hajime went back to replace his role over you. To be your brother. 
“I don’t like that guy for you, Y/N.” He said, after informing him of the blind date you'd be attending after work.  
“Why do you care so much?” Why was he acting this way? Why do you always take care of me? He didn’t have to do that. Stop making me fall in love with you!  
“Because your brother is away and no one here’s gonna look after you!” 
“You’re not my brother! So stop acting like one!” You answered back, not looking back as you walked out the door.  
The night fell and your date was still not showing up. Maybe the guy saw you but was not interested. Maybe Hajime was right. You hated it when he’s right, because you knew he was. You knew that there couldn’t be anyone more right for you than him, but it was all so wrong because you’re just a little sister for him. 
You felt a hand on your shoulder and immediately looked. Your hope subsided. 
“You dropped your handkerchief,” the stranger said. 
You knelt and picked the item up. As you stood back up again, you were surprised to see Hajime in front of you. 
You felt relief and an undeniable sting inside. You could never get over him. You knew that for sure. 
“Let’s go home,” he said, and you earnestly refused no longer capable to bear any hope for him. 
“I’ll pass for now. I’ll walk home” 
“Y/N, it’s late now-” 
“I know. I know,” you dismissively and mockingly said. “It’s not safe and my brother isn’t around so no one’s here to protect me, but you because I’m like a little sister to you right? A little si-” 
Your eyes widened as he stopped you from babbling with his lips on yours. Both od his hands cupped your cheeks as he kissed you passionately like it’s something he’d been wanting to do for so long. He parted with the both of you catching your breaths. 
“You’re right I’m not your brother, and I never wanted to be.”  
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© quirrrky 2023 - All rights reserved. No work shall be reproduced, reposted, modified, translated in any form or by any means.
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propertyofwicked · 15 days
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heyyy!!!
could i request lando x reader angst with some fluff? where the reader is stressed with exams (exam season just started for me😰) and lando just helps her get through it and comforts her during the sleepless nights.
i absolutely love your work, especially the secrets series!🧡
exam szn is invading my personal space rn too i cannot think about it without wanting to cry hehe. hope this meets ur expectations and sorry it took so long to respond <3
warnings: none, just fluff :)
masterlist
TAKE A BREAK - LN
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y/n was always going to be the most beautiful woman that lando had ever seen, even now, as she sat slumped over her laptop, pen tucked into her bun and dark circles under her eyes, highlighted by the dull orange of her desk lamp in an otherwise dark room.
this was not a new situation for lando to find his girlfriend in - he’d seen her at her worst when she had been revising for her final exams years ago, whilst he was busy with his driving career. but this past week, he’d barely spent time with her, besides seeing her setting up her desk before he left in the morning, and eating a rushed dinner before she went straight back to studying. y/n was bound to crash soon, her body and mind overworked and over tired, but her resistance was strong. lando missed his girlfriend. yes, she was physically in the same apartment as him, but mentally she was so far away, completely unreachable to the outside world.
“hey,” he announced, leaning against the door frame. she mumbled a quick hello in response, not even looking away from the glowing screen in front of her.
“y/n?” he tried to get her attention again, still with a mumbled response. he pushed his body from where he was leaning, walking slowly over to rest on the back of her desk chair, his head lowering to press a kiss to the top of her head, “come to bed, angel.”
“i will in a minute,” she said, finally breaking her stare at her computer, leaning back to look at him. he finally got a good look at her face. she was still beautiful, but she was tired. she was pale, her eyes red from the strain and constant fight against exhaustion.
“no baby, you said that last night and crawled into bed 3 hours later.”
“i said i was sorry for waking you up,” she said sadly, her shoulders tensing, the shift to her posture causing her muscles to move for the first time in hours.
“i don’t care about you waking me up, i care about you clearly struggling. you need to take a break, angel,” he said, his tone harsh even when he tried to be as nice as possible.
“im fine, lan, i promise. ill come to bed in 10 minutes.”
“y/n,” he warned, no longer caring about his tone, “when was the last time you showered?” he added, out of genuine concern, however she did not take it in that way.
“what? why? do i smell?” she asked, raising her arm to sniff herself, lando physically restrained himself from laughing. she didn’t smell, but her hair was slightly greasy, purely from the amount of times she ran her hands through her hair out of frustration, or kept her head propped up, using her arm as support.
“y/n,” he says, using her full name, “you are going to shut your computer down, have a shower, and then go to bed. you can keep studying tomorrow but tonight, i want to spend time with my girlfriend before i have to leave the country again.”
she was reluctant to oblige, but she knew she’d been neglecting him in favour of studying. she did this every time she had an important essay due, or upcoming exams - her brain became laser focused to the extent of forgetting to look after herself and those around her, the deadline approaching only adding to the pressure. she closed her laptop, and stood, stretching her legs out in the process, not realising they had gone numb from sitting down for hours.
lando took to standing behind her, hands on her waist as he guided her into their bathroom. as he switched on the light, her eyes squeezed shut and a groan fell from her lips at the shock of the brightness.
“has that light always been so fucking bright?” she groaned, as lando laughed quietly, moving around her to set the shower up.
“that’s what happens when you sit in a dark hole for hours angel. when was the last time you left that room,” he asked, his hand under the water testing the temperature.
“erm, when we had dinner?”
“babe that was 6 hours ago,” he replied with a sigh, checking the time on his watch, “the showers warm enough now. get in. i’ll be in the other room.”
“you’re not showering with me?” she asked sadly. his eyes perked up at the thought of spending intimate time with her.
5 minutes later, they were both stood under the water, his hands massaging shampoo on her scalp. the warm water has loosened her muscles, and the feeling of lando’s hands on her bringing her back to a full sense of reality. she turned to face him, looking in his eyes as the water cleared the shampoo from her hair.
“im sorry,” she told him.
“you don’t need to be, angel. i just wish you’d take better care of yourself. i hate seeing you like this.”
“i know i just..” she said, before taking a deep breath, “i just need to pass this exam and then i’ll be back to normal, i promise.”
“y/n, you are the most intelligent person i know. there is no way you need to destroy yourself for the sake of an exam,” he replied, his hands moving to cup her jaw. she hoped the shower would mask the tears welling in her eyes. she couldn’t tell if the tears were from the kind hearted words or from the sheer stress she’d been bottling up. either way, lando could read her like a book.
he lowered his head, pulling her face closer to his, before pressing a kiss to her forehead and each cheek, and then moving to press a short but sweet his to her lips.
“i just don’t want to mess this up,” she said through tears, “ive worked so hard to get to where i am right now, i can’t afford a set back. i can’t mess this up, and i can’t think about correlation coefficients any longer without wanting to rip my hair out.”
“and you won’t mess it up,” he replies, choosing to ignore the words he doesn’t understand, marvelling at her ignorance to her own intelligence, “taking a break every now and again, looking after yourself, is not going to set you back or destroy your progress. you can’t keep going like this - the stress and the way you overwork yourself is going to set you back further than taking the evening off will, angel.”
“i just need to pas-”
“no, you need to take a step back. give yourself a break.”
“i know, i jus-”
“stop arguing with me or i’ll throw that damn laptop out of the window,” he said, interrupting her and crossing his arms over his chest.
“please don’t, i can’t afford a new one,” she joked, and lando smiled at hearing her laughing for the first time in weeks.
“i’ll buy you a new one,” he replied, pressing another kiss to her lips, “right, turn around i need to do the conditioner now.”
lando didn’t let y/n move another finger all night. he had wrapped her in a towel and sat her down on the toilet lid whilst he brought her in a cup of tea. he helped her climb into her pyjamas, and then sat her down between his legs as he dried her hair. they had crawled into bed afterwards, his arms reaching out to pull her to lay on his chest.
“thank you,” she mumbled against his neck, her eyes already closed out of exhaustion.
“don’t thank me,” he replied, tilting his head to kiss her forehead, “just promise me you’ll start taking care of yourself.”
“i promise,” she said, raising her pinky finger to interlock with his.
“tomorrow, you start taking an hour break for every two hours of work you do. and please, go outside, get some fresh air,” he said, pleading with her.
“half an hour,” she debated with him.
“an hour. end of,” he said, his decision final, “or, that laptop really is going.”
“you would never,” she replied, jokingly gasping at him.
“you wanna bet?”
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lipglossanon · 10 months
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You Better Lie Down
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stepbro!Leon S. Kennedy x fem!reader (one shot)
this was a scrapped idea but people have shown interest so I revised it a little to make more sense in places lol so the ending is kinda meh 🤷‍♀️
Warnings: 18+ minors DNI, stepcest, incest kink, mean stepbro Leon, bratty reader, dirty talk, masturbation, unprotected sex, creampie, some nipple play
not proofread just looked over 😂
Title from Sister from She Wants Revenge
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“Get the hell out, Leon!”
“No can do, princess. Looks like we’re roomies,” he smirks at you from the doorway, crossing his arms and leaning against the frame. 
You hate him. You hate his stupid hair and his stupid face and his stupid muscles and his stupidly big di—
A loud thud makes you jump and you turn to glare at Leon who tosses a duffel bag down on the floor. 
“Don’t get pissed off at me,” he shrugs easily, grin spreading over his face as he flops down on your bed jostling you, “dear old mom and dad have to renovate my room so I’m here.”
He bats his eyes at you, “Besides don’t act like you hate it, you’ll be crying on my cock tonight anyway.”
White hot arousal flares through your body, irritation quickly following on its heels to overtake it. 
You shove Leon as you stand up off the bed, “You’re such an asshole.”
You snags your arm and tugs you right back down on the bed, hands coming up to quickly pin your wrists together and hold them over your head as he cages you under his bulky body. 
“I don’t think I heard you correctly,” his eyes are dark and mean, as he grinds your wrists together making you wince, “what did you just say?”
“I said,” you over enunciate your words, “you are an asshole.”
You can see him gearing up to do something but lucky for you (at least) your mom is calling for you both to be downstairs pronto. 
“Guess this’ll just have to wait, princess,” Leon rears up with a sneer and leaves you laying on your bed. 
You raise up and blow out a breath. God he really is an infuriating asshole.
Later that night after the quick rundown from your mom of what’s going on, and then having to help move furniture, you’re wiped and ready to crash into bed after your shower. Just throwing on some thin sleep shorts and a ratty old tee shirt, you enter your room about to collapse against your mattress only to see Leon sprawled across your bedspread. 
Your mouth is open, ready to unleash a scathing remark but slowly closes as you frown at him. The jerk is completely passed out, ear buds in, and phone clasped loosely in his hand. Mentally, you’re seething with rage but outwardly you just blow out another heavy breath. Standing there for a moment you take in Leon’s tank top and baggy shorts. His eyelashes dust his cheeks and his face looks soft. Like this he looks… sweet. 
Frowning to yourself—get a grip—you shake your head. Softly you pad over to what you’re going to deem as his side of the bed for now. You take his phone and shut off the music and set it on the nightstand. Gently, you also slip out his ear buds and turn those off, setting them next to his phone. 
“Why am I even being nice?” you mutter to yourself, walking back over to your side. 
You shift Leon over as far as you comfortably can and slip under your sheets. It’s awkward as he’s still on top making it hard to even turn over but you just accept it—better than waking him up. Since you’re actually pretty tired, you fall asleep rather easily. 
Sometime in the night, you wake up. Your back is to Leon and so you lay there peering at your vanity wondering what even woke you up. The bed moves as Leon shifts around behind you. Rolling your eyes, you think that definitely must’ve been it and determine to go back to sleep. 
Your eyes slip shut but then there’s movement behind you again followed by a strangled sound. You tense, planning on rolling over, but you hear Leon groan and you realize the bed’s moving more rhythmically than you thought. 
Wide eyed, you realize he’s jerking off next to you. You freeze in place afraid to move or breathe differently in case he notices. 
“Fuck,” he whispers to himself followed by a wet noise that makes your thighs clench. 
Your eyes drift across your room and come back to your vanity where you can kinda see Leon and yourself at this angle. Mostly, you just see his arm move in time with the bed pretty much confirming what’s happening. You feel so hot now but you don’t want to push the blankets off. 
Your legs shift and he completely stops what he’s doing with a low hiss. Once he thinks you’re not going to move again, he picks right back up, stroking himself off with a grunt. 
Nipples hardening at the noises he’s making, you decide to roll over and feign being asleep so you can at least peek at what he’s doing. So, mind made up you shift sides making it seem as natural as you think it would look (you’re asleep how’re you really gonna know?). 
Leon stops again, breathing shaky, as you get comfortable on your side now facing him. 
“Hey,” he whispers, “you awake?”
You ignore him and keep your breathing steady. After another minute or so, Leon can’t help himself any longer. 
“Fuck me,” he moans, fist gripping his fat cock and jerking slowly, “you’re just so fucking pretty.”
Your clit throbs but you stay still, eyelids cracking open just a smidge to watch his cock weep precum all over his fist as he fucks up into it. 
“Wish I could fill up that tight little pussy,” his voice rumbles low in his chest, “god, can’t believe my little sister’s cunt is better than my girlfriend’s. Fuck.”
Arousal surges through your body so fast you feel lightheaded. Your toes curl under the covers as your pussy aches to be filled. 
“Got me so hard,” he whines to himself, “fucking hate that I fell asleep waiting on you. Was gonna eat that cute pussy til you cried.”
Your thighs clench trying to ease the tension in your core but doesn’t really do anything except make you wish for more. You watch as Leon’s hand pumps his cock slowly, teasing himself as he drips precum all over the place. You watch as his dick throbs in his fist as he teases the head with short strokes. 
“Haven’t stopped thinking about how much you liked it, liked me railing you into this bed,” he grinds his head back against the pillow, “fucking hell.”
You whimper, gaze looking up into Leon’s face as his hazy eyes look over at the noise. 
“You finally awake, princess?” he grins but it loses some of its edge when he moans as his cock kicks in his hand. 
You push up on your elbow and move over until you’re pressed all along Leon’s side. Eyes dragging from his face down to his cock drooling all over his fingers, makes you whine and press your chest hard into his body. 
“Leon,” you whisper, fingers slipping under the band of your panties to tease across your aching clit, “do you—“
“Yes,” he grits out, pulling his hand away from his cock to tug your hand from your panties. 
His eyes flutter when he slips your fingers into his mouth to taste your slick. 
With a growl, he’s shoving you onto your back and knocking your legs apart so he can kneel between them. 
“You don’t even know what I was gonna say?” you giggle up at him, high on arousal. 
His mouth ticks up into a mean smile, “Does it matter? We both need me in your pussy, don’t we, princess?”
With a whine, you nod helping him take your clothes off until you’re completely naked underneath him. He tugs on your nipples until you arch up with a whimper.  He takes off his shirt and slips his shorts and underwear completely off then cages you under his bulky body. 
Your hands go up to his shoulders as you cant your hips up, bumping your clit against the fat tip of his dick. 
“Want it, big brother,” you murmur, eyes lidded as you see his pupils dilate even more, “need you in my pussy so bad.”
“Yeah?” he grips his cock with one hand and slaps it across your swollen bud driving you to thrust up against him with a moan, “sounds like you do.”
He drags his tips through your slick folds and presses against your clenching hole. 
“Gotta relax,” he coos, “let big brother make you feel good.”
Your nails dig into his shoulders making him buck forward, cock slipping into your soaked hole. 
“Fuck,” he hisses, eyes shut, “take it, princess, since you need it so much.”
He pulls out until just the tip is spreading your cunt and fucks back in, bullying his cock into your pussy until he’s buried balls deep. 
Eyes rolling back, your nails scratch up Leon’s arms as a high and reedy whine slips from your throat. 
“Mmhmm,” he laughs at you, “this cute little pussy needed to be dicked down huh?” 
“Yes, yes, please,” you gasp out, pussy clamped down around Leon’s cock, “feels so good.”
“Fuck.”
He drops down to his elbows, pushing more of his weight onto you while you wrap your legs around his waist to keep him there. Your fluttering walls wring another low groan from him as he grinds against you. 
“More, more, please,” you whimper, tugging on his biceps, “pin me down please, want it so bad, Leon.”
He humps down into your pussy as he lets himself ease down on top of you. 
“You sure?” his hot breath caresses the shell of your ear, “you won’t be able to move, baby.”
“Don’t need to,” you mewl, “pin me down please, want to feel you.”
His chuckle vibrates deep in his chest, “Okay, gonna take care of my little sis, make sure you feel nice and full.”
Whining, your thighs close against his waist harder as you try to rock up into his thrusting cock. Try. Now that Leon has dropped most of his body weight on you to rut into your sopping wet cunt, you’re trapped underneath his broad frame making your clit throb. 
“S’good, so good big brother,” you can’t stop rambling, body feeling too overwhelmed in the best way, “m’pussy feels so good, it’s all stretched out.”
“Good,” he laughs against your ear, “sound cockdrunk already and we’ve barely started.”
“Can’t help it,” you whine, pressing a messy kiss to his jaw, “it’s so big.”
He growls and snaps his hips harder into your wet hole, bullying his cock over and over into your squelching pussy. You’re whining so loud but neither of you think to muffle the noise. Leon’s thrust are banging your headboard against the wall, pressing you down harder into the mattress. 
His fat tips keeps knocking into your cervix making you squeal and pant, pussy clamping down on his cock more and more as your g-spot is rubbed every time he pulls out. 
“Aww is my cute littler sister about to cum?” Leon mocks, “is her tiny pussy gonna cum from big brother’s fat cock splitting her open?”
Tears are slipping from your eyes as you nod quickly, arousal ramping up from his condescending tone, “Uh huh, Leon ‘m about to cum. Please, I wanna cum.”
“Then tell me who’s gonna make you cum, princess? I might rub that slippery little clit if you beg me just right,” his smile is mean as he laughs again. 
Panting you reply, “M-my big brother is gonna make me cum on his cock. On his stupidly fat cock.”
He groans, “Fuck, that’s what I like to hear. Get mean with me, baby.”
“I hate how good this feels,” you moan, “I hate how I love having your big dick in my pussy stretching me open. Feels so good.”
He grunts and slips a hand down between the tight space of your bodies and teasingly rubs your swollen clit. 
“Tell me more,” his voice is husky and low, sea dark eyes staring in yours, “tell me more, baby sis.”
“I like that I’m your little sister,” you finally choke out on a low moan, “fuck, love that you’re my big brother, and I especially love that you cum in my pussy.”
He growls and fucks his tongue into your parted mouth. You move your hands from his shoulders to his hair as you sloppily make out. His fingers pinch and rub against your clit in rough little circles until you’re screaming into his mouth, climax wiping out everything except that euphoric feeling overtaking your body. 
“Fuck you’re milking me so good,” he presses his face into your neck as his hips rabbit into your cunt, cock finally burying deep in your fluttering walls. 
You moan brokenly as hot spurts of cum fill your cunt, sticky rope after rope painting your walls white. Leon rocks himself against you as he lets your pussy milk his cock til he’s spent. 
He pulls out of your spasming hole and you whine to see his spent dick shiny with slick and cum. He collapses next to you on the bed. 
“I’m not gonna want to go back to my room when it’s ready,” he grumbles, dragging you into his arms so he can nose across your hairline, “pussy too good.”
“Leon,” you huff out, irritation flirting at your tone, “shut up.”
“Yes ma’am,” he snarks, pinching a nipple making you hiss. 
You try to push him away but he shifts down and sucks that same nipple into his mouth. Your hands wind in his hair but when he just keeps suckling at the hard bud, you only sigh and let him move over the other nipple. 
“Leon, what’re you doing?” you bite your lip as he squishes your breasts together to suck and lick across both nipples. 
“Shutting up,” he grins at you, nipping the underside of your breasts, “can’t talk if I’m sucking on your tits right?”
He doesn’t let you answer and goes back to lathing attention across your breasts until you’re wet and squirming, pressing them into his face. 
“Leon,” you whine, “touch me, please.”
He groans, sucking your nipple into his mouth as he spreads your legs to slide his hard cock between your thighs to rub against your pussy. 
“Can I?”
“Yes, yes, please.”
“Ohh, fucking hell, you’re so wet.”
“Big brother, please, play with my clit.”
“I’ve got you princess, fuck, y’keep squeezing that tight pussy on me and I’m gonna bust way too soon.”
“Leon, please—oh yes there, right there. Big brother please, oh god, yes.”
“How did you get even tighter? Mm that’s it’s take my cock baby sis, fucking—“
“I’m gonna cum so fast, my clit’s so sensitive now.”
“Fuck yes, cum on my cock again, squeeze out another load for that cute pussy. There we go, oh fuck, that’s it that’s it—“
“‘m cumming, oh Leon I’m—“
You kiss each other to stop the loud moans and whines from slipping out, both of you cumming one after the other. Leon presses himself as deep as he can into your pussy, hot cum flooding your sore fluttering walls as you milk him for every drop. 
“If we don’t stop now, we’ll never get any sleep,” Leon whispers against your lips, slowly slipping his cock from your hole. 
You whine to feel the mess of slick and cum drip all over your thighs. 
“I know,” you finally roll onto your back, jaw cracking with a yawn. 
He lays next to you, pressed against your side as he throws an arm over your waist. 
“Don’t wake me up before eight,” he mumbles into your shoulder. 
“Same goes to you,” you roll your eyes knowing he can’t see it. 
In no time at all, you’re lulled to sleep from Leon’s body heat and deep even breaths. 
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vashtijoy · 4 months
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why everybody is wrong about the unlock date for akechi's rank 6 (and why it matters)
So It Is Known that Akechi's rank 6 unlocks on 9/3, right? That's the first day he'll show up in Leblanc to go to the bathhouse and tell you about his sad backstory (again). That is his unlock date. R...ight?
Game says no.
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This is the function that (usually) tests Akechi's rank 6 time lock, SUB_COOP_TIME_[L]OCK6(). What does it do? It sets a bit, 0x1 831, if we fail the check. Which we will unfailingly do on every single day within a specified date range. And what is that range?
That range is between 4/1 and 8/28.
Read that again. Not 9/2, the day before 9/3. 8/28.
The same 8/28 we all know and love for, uh, some reasons:
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That's right. The reason Akechi's confidant is locked until 9/3, the reason he has not one but two "let me tell you about my backstory" events inside of a week, is that one triggers the other.
Akechi shows up at Leblanc on 8/28. He finds a listening ear, and a shoulder to cry on—because, remember, we're smack in the middle of Akechi Hate Month:
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This kid, who is so desperate for attention and approval that he's become a mass-murderer over it, is now in the middle of a public hate storm. And on 8/28, you listen to him. You make him welcome. You accept him for who he is—at least, for a little part of who he is.
And so he comes back less than a week later. On 9/3.
if he unlocks on 8/29, why 9/3?
Akechi's availability is often quite limited. Between 8/28 and 9/3, he's only available on one day, 8/30—though if you're already at rank 5, you can't do anything with him then.
Why doesn't he come to Leblanc on 8/30?
The Leblanc field (areas in P5 are technically known as fields) calls a very long, very unedifying function called NPC_FLAG_SELECTOR(), to see which NPCs it should load when. In short? It does this by testing the day of the week.
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GET_DAYOFWEEK() returns a number between 0 (Sunday) and 6 (Saturday). So, because Akechi will only come to Leblanc if GET_DAYOFWEEK() returns 6, Akechi will only ever come to Leblanc on Saturdays.
And the first Saturday after 8/29? It is, of course, 9/3.
why does this matter?
Does this change anything? In practical terms, no. Akechi is still always going to be inaccessible for rank 6 until 9/3. But does it confirm anything about him? Well, yeah.
Akechi's rank 7 unlock really is on 11/2, the morning he tells you "I was working last night, so I'm tired today"—that time lock terminates on 11/1. His skill checks (Knowledge and Charm) are all exactly what you think. He even has a hidden lock for rank 8 (still called a time lock by the code) which verifies that he's currently a team member and won't let you proceed otherwise; that, too, acts exactly as you'd expect.
It's rank 6 which turns out to have this secret, to truly be as closely connected to 8/28 as it always appeared. Akechi comes to Leblanc in his hour of need, and he finds something—and then, the next day, he wants more.
And so he comes back—the very next evening he can get away to spend time in Yongen-jaya.
(Incidentally, I'm pretty sure Akechi lives in Kichijoji, and this kind of backs that up. It's the sort of super-trendy place he'd make a show of liking, and in fairness, he clearly does like it. He can only come to Yongen on Saturday nights because it's a lot of travel, close to an hour each way in the early evenings. But Kichijoji? He can hang out there far more often—because it's right on his doorstep.)
revision history
Click here for the latest version.
v1.0 (2023/12/26)—first posted.
325 notes · View notes
taasgirl · 1 month
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say something pt 3.
summary: although playing for the same club, pedri and y/n cannot stand the thought of being around each other. enemies to lovers for all my slow burn girlies out there - i got u
a/n: not proofread and all in english + more installments coming soon!!
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"Sir, can I get an extension on this? I've got a game the same day." The room was small enough for me to get my voice across. We had finished learning all the content and were just revising and studying for our exams.
"Talk to me after class and I'll see what we can do." I hated asking for extensions and grants on assessments, and I could almost hear everyone in the room roll their eyes every time I asked for one. I was also avoiding Alex. I last saw him at my match where I blew him off. I was planning on talking to him about everything. I really felt bad about how I was treating him.
As the professor wrapped up class, I began packing my things into my duffel. I had training later today, but I was absolutely dying for some food.
I followed everyone down to the exit and stopped at the desk. "Listen Y/N, we're all quite aware of your commitments to football." The Professor, Mr Lanigan, was filing papers into a binder. "But we've awarded you too many grants. I'm sorry, but for this paper the day you are sitting the exam is set in stone."
To say I was shocked would be an understatement. They generally were totally fine with my footballing schedule. "I can't make it then sir. You know how strict they are." He looked at me sympathetically.
"You're a bright girl. you'll figure something out." I walked out after thanking him, but I was pissed. There was no way I could sit that test. Barca were strict. Missing a game for university was a big no no, they were already being flexible with me, allowing me to attend lectures during the day.
After a quick pitstop to the closest cafe on campus, I decided to walk back to the apartment. I needed to collect my thoughts and find out a way for me to attend my assessment while also getting to my game on time and prepared.
While walking through the streets of Barcelona, I was stopped numerous times by fans asking for my photo. Now it wasn't uncommon for me to be stopped, but I took at least 30 photos today which was way more than usual.
As I got back to the apartment, I was greeted by a sleepy Salma. "Morning girly." She was still in her pyjamas, obviously looking for something to eat. "Sal it's 2pm." She shrugged, making me laugh.
"Hey I need to get to football a bit earlier, I've gotta talk with Jonatan." Salma opened the fridge, "Yeah that's fine, I'll drive."
"So do you know what time your exam is?" I was sitting in Jonatan's office, begging him to help me figure something out. "It's from four until five." He shook his head at my response.
"I'm sorry Y/N but you won't be able to make the game." I wanted to throw my head back in anger but I didn't. "Please, is there anything you or the president can do? I can't miss this exam and I can't miss the game." I had found out that the game that I was set to miss because of my exam was an El Classico. I wasn't going to miss that.
"That's not in my power. You must speak to your university and make a decision." I could feel my eyes swelling. It may just seem like a game, but I had been dreaming of an El Classico at the Camp Nou my entire life. This was the first year that they had decided to play the derby at the iconic stadium, and I wasn't going to miss it for the world. "I hope you can figure it out. I'll see you on the field." He stood up and helped me out of the room.
I couldn't look at him as I felt the tears come on. I walked down the hallway with my head down, trying as fast as I could to get back to Salma's car. She had given me keys and trusted me to drive it even thought I still didn't have my license. And right now, it seemed like the perfect place to cry.
I continued walking and picked up my pace. That was until I walked straight into someone. The apology came out of me before I could even look up.
It was Pedri.
He was holding my arms, and was concerned when I looked up. "Y/N are you ok?" I was so angry. I needed to just get all my thoughts out.
"No I'm not Pedri. Everything is so fucked." My voice turned croaky but I kept speaking.
With his hands still on my arms, he pulled me into a random office with him, he told me to keep talking.
"I just can't do school at the same time as this. Why did I think it was a good idea to play football. Or go to university." I had begun crying. "And now I have to either miss out on one of the most important exams I will ever take, or miss out on the most important game of my life." I wiped the tears from my cheek and continued as Pedri stepped closer.
"And I'm sorry if this is gonna come off as rude but I have to go to uni. My job is not as permanent as yours." He pulled me in and held my tight, lightly running his fingers through my ponytail. "If I fuck this up then I need a backup. And there's just so much pressure to do both. I can't handle it anymore Pedri."
"It's ok baby, let it out." I couldn't stop crying. I had bottled these emotions up for too long, and they needed to come out. I just wish it wasn't Pedri who would have to see me like this.
We stayed like that, me in him arms for at least another minute while he reassured me. When I pulled away, he picked up my chin and wiped away a tear. "You're a pretty crier." I lightly smacked him, sniffling. "We should probably get to training Pepi." He agreed, and walked out with me.
We walked down to the changerooms together where he then spoke up. "You can talk to me if you need. I may not be able to relate to you or your situation, but I can understand you." I hugged him. It was all I could do, no words were coming out.
I stepped into the women's changeroom and was met by Salma's eyes. "So what did he say?" I shook my head at her. "He can't do anything."
She got up from her seat to hug me. "You smell like cologne." I blushed into her shoulder, I wasn't gonna tell her about what happened.
"And girls, please make sure you're on time tonight." Lucy spoke to us all as we finished up training. Tonight was the some type of ceremony for our sponsors. These fancy dinner happened almost fortnightly, however it wasn't often that we all had to attend.
Lucy was definitely targeting us. Salma had made us late so many times, walking in awkwardly when someone was mid-speech.
"Oh and the boys'll be there too." The whole changeroom groaned. As much as we were 'one club', we couldn't stand the guys. It was something about their cockiness that really pissed everyone off.
"Girl you look fire. Surely your trying to impress someone tonight." Salma nudged my shoulder while I was putting on my make up. "Watch it Paralleulo, one wrong move and my lipstick becomes foundation."
I chose a gorgeous blue and white dress. It wasn't too formal, but also not to casual - the perfect pick.
"Oh and I'm not driving. Pedri is picking us up." My eyes widened in the mirror. Pedri. Driving us. Pedri? "Don't give me that look girl, I know you wanna jump in his pants."
"That's gross Salma. When will he be here?" Salma peeked out the window. "Now. Him and Gavi are outside." I ran to the window, finding Pedri and Gavi dawdling on the sidewalk. "Come on Sal, let's go down."
Once we approached the two boys, Salma ran to Gavi, giving him a big hug. Pedri and I locked eyes. He smiled awkwardly before coming closer to me. He wrapped his arms around me and I did the same. "You look great." We peeled off each other as Pedri went to Salma, and I to Gavi.
"Alright guys come one we don't want to be late." Gavi ushered to us as we packed into the car. He offered the front seat to me, basically forcing me to sit in with Pedri.
"Y/N chuck on some music, let's see what you've got." Pedri helped me connect the bluetooth to my phone, and soon enough, I had the car pumping to some 2000s pop.
The trip didn't take too long. We were on the road for about 30 mins and it was truly enjoyable. Salma led most of the conversation, but soon enough Pedri and I warmed up.
"Oh guys, does anyone wanna go out after this thing? I'm happy to drive around?" Pedri called out to us, he turned he head to mostly face me. I smiled at him, "Yeah actually that would be great." Salma spoke after me, "Surely we go and pick up some McDonalds."
"Do you know what this is actually for?" Pedri leaned into my ear. We were seated at a table together with some sponsors. Literally just us. "Boy don't ask me, I'm still half asleep." He chuckled at my response.
We spent a decent amount of time talking to the people at our table, most of them were major sponsors of the club. "So Y/N, you think you'll be able to fight for Champions League this year?" The short man opposite me asked. "Of course, I've always got space for silverware on my shelf." Everyone around me laughed, the found my cockiness funny. "Atta girl." Pedri rubbed my back gracefully.
"This is boring." He was playing around with the food on his plate. It was some type of concoction of left-over steak with a dark red sauce. "Shut up and eat your food Pedro." He rolled his eyes before sticking his fork into one of the roast potatoes on my plate. While looking straight at me, he ate it. "Hey don't eat my stuff." I smacked him on the shoulder.
"So how long have you two been dating for?" Pedri practically choked on his food. "Huh?" I looked at one of the women sitting a few seats down from me. "How long have you two been together? I mean with that much chemistry, it's gotta be a few years." My cheeks turned rosy.
"Umm." I cut him off "Oh we're not together." Despite how loud the venue was, I could hear the silence radiating from our table. "Oh woah, I'm sorry. I really thought you were- never mind." I smiled at her almost apologetically.
I leaned over to Pedri. "I'm just gonna head to the bathroom." He nodded.
I walked straight to the bathroom to touch up my makeup. I was feeling flushed from what that woman had said. I didn't think we were too affectionate, or even flirting. Well at least not a lot.
I fixed up my hair before pushing open the door. As I walked through the narrow hallway, I felt a hand from behind pull me in.
I spun around and was immediately pulled into a kiss. Pedri had one hand on my cheek and the other on my waist, kissing me relentlessly.
As I pulled away, I smiled at him. There were faint lipstick smudges on his lips. "You need to stop making out with me outside bathrooms." I punched his shoulder playfully.
"Come here." He pulled me back into him, this time his hands were exploring my back. "You're so gorgeous." I kissed him harder to shut him up.
When we had finally stopped kissing I laughed. "Go to the restroom and clean that lipstick off your face." Concerned, Pedri tried to wipe it off. All I could do was smile. "I'll catch you back out there."
"You good?" Salma had caught me as I entered back into the show room. "Your hair's a mess." I rolled my eyes as we made our way towards the table. "Where's Pedri?" I raised my shoulders.
"Holy shit. You just fully fucked him huh?" I smacked her. "Shut up Sal." She was in awe. "I was wondering where you two went holy shit." I turned her around to face her away from everyone, and from the hallway out walked Pedri.
"You slut." Her smile was from cheek to cheek. "We kissed now please don't say anything." She couldn't stop looking at me.
I found Pedri again and sat back down next to him. “And to think that only a few days ago you smacked the shit out of me.” I laughed at what he said. I stood by my decision to smack him up - he deserved it.
Halfway through the dinner I got a message from Alex, I immediately began responding to him. I needed to tell him how I really felt.
He was asking me for some notes from class. Something about interview techniques. I told him that I was happy to send them through but only when I had gotten home.
“Who you messaging?” Pedri was staring at my phone. “One of the boys in my class - you’ve seen him.” He nodded his head, still reading the incoming messages. Alex was asking me when we could meet up next. I instinctively told him tomorrow. I wanted to right some wrongs with him. He was a genuinely sweet guy, just not the guy.
Swing by mine tomorrow - I need to talk to you
The car ride home was pretty silent, we didn’t end up going to McDonalds and instead Pedri drove us straight home. He hadn’t really said much since we kissed. I put my hand on his thigh, only for him to move his leg away.
When we had reached the apartment Pedri didn’t bother leaving the car. “Come on ladies, I’ve got you.” Gavi walked us to our rooms, and explained how he was gonna go clubbing now with Pedro.
“Don’t get too drunk yeah?” I patted him on the shoulder. “Yeah and don’t let her boyfriend get too drunk either.” I gave Salma a death stare. “Who Pepi?” She smiled at him. “Did you two…” he didn’t finish he sentence. “No we didn’t sleep together god.” He laughed and ushered us inside.
As soon as I had taken off my dress and removed my makeup, I landed straight into my bed. “What’s up with you girl?” Salma opened my door.
“If this is about Pedro… just trust me, he’s literally in love with you okay? Yeah he’s an angry dickhead, but he does really care for you.” I rolled over in my bed “He’s so confusing Sal.”
After what seemed like the longest sleep in of my life, I was woken up by the sound of my phone buzzing. Alex was messaging me about when he should come over - I told him in an hours time before taking my phone out of the charger and checking instagram.
Well if that wasn’t a huge fucking mistake.
Each photo and video in my feed was of Pedri making out with some girl. And that girl wasn’t me. I tried not to immediately jump to the fact that it was last night, but his coat jacket and blue button up were far too recognisable.
I went looking for more and felt my heart shatter when I saw the girl sitting on his lap. His arms were wrapped around her, holding her tight to his body.
I found even more videos until I couldn’t bare seeing what I saw. Salma cautiously walked into my room. “Hey babes.” She sat down on the end of my bed. “Have you seen the fucking videos?” She looked at me sadly. “Aw come here.” She wriggled her way up to me, holding me as I felt the tears begin to fall.
“I thought he liked me Sal.” She brushed her fingers through my hair. “He does Y/N, he’s just really fucking stupid.”
To me, this feeling was worse than a breakup. We weren’t together but that’s what made it worse. He wasn’t even cheating on me. God he was just out clubbing and making out with a hot girl.
The tears fell effortlessly down my face. “I never want to see his stupid fucking face again.”
“So, has the club figured anything out?” My professor asked. I knew that he was trying his hardest with the university, but they wouldn’t budge. “Nothing sir. I’m just gonna have to bite the bullet and hope they don’t kill me for missing an El Classico.”
He looked at me sympathetically. “Listen, I’m gonna try for one last push. I’ll see what I can do.” I thanked him once more and left the building. Alex was outside waiting for me - I told him that I was too unwell to meet up yesterday.
“Hello beautiful.” He kissed me on the cheek and took the tote hanging off my shoulder. “Are you still okay for lunch?” I nodded at him, and soon enough we were in his car.
He was driving us to a local Thai restaurant - apparently it was his favourite. When we entered, I realised it wasn’t just a Thai restaurant. It was undoubtedly one of the fanciest restaurants I had ever been in. “Oh wow Alex, you really didn’t need to do all this.”
“It’s honestly nothing if it means I get to spend time with you.” I blushed and picked up my glass of water.
“So what’d you need to tell me?” His eyes were on the menu but still directed his voice at me.
“Umm.” I had no idea what to say. If Pedri wasn’t a complete and utter dickhead - making out with randos right after me, I would’ve told Alex that I wanted to end things.
But if Pedri really didn’t feel the way I thought he did, then I wasn’t going to waste my time or energy on him. “You know what, it’s nothing.” He smiled at me.
We were sat for at least two hours, letting ourselves completely loose; talking about anything and everything. As we finished up, he insisted that he paid. “Please, seriously it’s my treat.”
After lunch, we took a leisurely stroll close in the Botanic Gardens. Alex couldn’t stop taking photos of the flowers, and after a few accidental brushes, our hands were interlinked.
“Y/N you know I really like you right?” We walked past a grand oak tree, I smiled assuringly at him. “Like I genuinely see you as someone I want in my life for a long time.”
I froze. I liked Alex sure, but I wasn’t ready for that type of commitment. “Alex, I genuinely do enjoy spending time with you but I can’t commit to anything right now.”
His head dropped. “I’m sorry.” He rubbed my hand. “I understand.”
“Omg Y/N! Please can we get a photo?” I immediately dropped his hand. “Sure girls.”
Pedri’s POV
“The fuck is this shit?” I threw my phone across the room. “Calm down Pepi what is it?” Gavi called out to me.
“Is it Y/N?” He walked into my room and picked up the phone one the floor. “Oh shit.” He muttered to himself.
“So did that kiss mean nothing to her?” I practically shouted at Gavi.
“Oh, so she can’t go out to lunch with some random guy, but you’re allowed to make out with the first girl that jumps on you?” He chucked the phone at me.
“Salma called me and Y/N is pissed Pepi. That girl is absolutely head over heels for you, but you can’t control your dick enough to see how good she is to you.” I rolled my eyes.
“Yeah well what the fuck do you expect me to do when I see her messaging a guy, telling him to come over right after I fucking confessed my feelings to her?”
“I always knew she was whore, I just didn’t expect her to fucking use me.” Gavi slapped me. Right across the face. “Don’t call her that.” I stared at him. “Get the fuck out.”
“You need to talk to her Pedro. She’s really hurt.”
you know the drill! lmk if you like this series and want to be tagged in the next!! some accts wouldnt let me tag so sorry if that was u.
if you have any reqs pls submit them, i'm working on a few rn!!
@poppyflower-22 @girlidekanymore @heli991113 @xxenia14
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blue-jisungs · 3 months
Text
silent hug
author's note. this is veeeery self indulgent bc my exams r killing me so yeah 👍
genre. hurt to comfort (i think?), classmates to friends ??? idk man just whipped n cute sunoo
summary. in which your classmate comforts you when you tear up in class :(
warnings. cursing, reader is in a bad place mentally,, kinda hinting to academic burnout? ,, crying :( + not proofread, sorry!!
word count. 1286
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with a heavy sigh you plopped down on the chair, putting your bag on the desk. the walk from the bus stop to the university tired you out but at least you got four or five minutes before the classes started. so you rested your head against the bag and closed your eyes, taking in a little more sleep than you could get this morning.
the final season is coming to an end, finally. but weirdly enough, you don’t feel relieved. sure, there’s only three or four exams left – and you haven’t really studied for them but that’s a thing to do the day before, isn’t it? – but you can’t help but feel the exhaustion. your friends chat about how there’s less things to take then it was at the beginning, sure. but the closer you get to the midterm break, the less motivation you have. and the tiredness that accumulated throughout the whole month is seeking its way out.
which is why you’re a mess nowadays. promising yourself to study but ending up doing everything but studying, falling asleep at ungodly hours (and regretting it later)… or shutting yourself down from the world. your friends got used to it, everyone has their lives after classes after all. but you carry on with do not disturb on most of the time, missing out their conversations on chats and tiktoks they’ve sent you. sure, you could’ve read them later – but there’s a sinking feeling of guilt (and a dazzle of overthinking) that you’re such a shitty friend.
all of this causes your negative emotions to bottle up. and you know it’s not a good thing, especially when you feel like you’re about to cry when a minor inconvenience occurs. but you’re stronger than that, no? the thought of locking yourself in your room during the break keeps you alive, pushing the sadness – seemingly – away.
a sudden tap on your shoulder caused you to open your eyes and lazily shift your focus to your classmate, sunoo. you looked around and didn’t see your friends… well, they probably skipped the classes since some of them are careless just like that.
"it’s about to start" sunoo smiled gently and you noticed the way his ebony gaze lingered on you for a while longer. great, you should’ve put at least some foundation.
"thanks" you nodded and took out your ipad, the other hand rubbing your eye. here we go…
"i feel like… some people in this class don’t take my lessons seriously" the professor started and you froze, heart skipping a beat. he couldn’t possibly mean you, right? “the final exam is around the corner and some of you… did not too well on the quiz"
oh, well. it’s definitely aimed at you.
"i’ll hand them out at the end of the class and then run over your mistakes. now we’ll do a revision. and you better listen" the man says and you could swear his piercing gaze is drilling into your soul.
an unpleasant feeling of warmth creeped into your face and once again you curse yourself for not putting any makeup. sunoo glanced at you, a sad smile on his lips.
the professor approached you at the end, when all of the students already left. putting the paper sheet with a nasty P– on it, you frowned. hey, you passed!
"y/n, i’m really disappointed. i don’t know what’s going on but that’s the worst work of yours so far. pull yourself together. there’s so many major mistakes… spellings… it’s not an academic level. you were one point away from not passing this one" his words hit a cord in your heart, your palms beginning to sweat. he patted the paper and returned to his desk, grabbing his stuff.
and you didn’t even know when that happened – your sweaty palms shaking, breath getting stuck in your throat, vision blurry because of tears.
you packed your things and wanted to leave but your legs felt too weak. your professor left, causing you to end up all alone in the room.
you sniffed, trying to wipe out the tears but they seemed to have other plans.
"don’t cry, idiot. it’s fucking embarrassing" you breathed out to yourself, voice barely above a whisper.
"y/n, if you want… oh. are you okay?"
you would normally look up to see who that was but the realization of someone even seeing you in such state caused your face to redden even more. pulling your t-shirt up to hide your face in it, you felt like there was no way out: you couldn’t possibly stop crying. it was like your professor’s words triggered something.
"i’m… hey, it’s okay. did he say anything bad to you? or do?" someone approached you and you shook your head as a no. "can i stay here?"
you hesitantly peeled from your shirt and noticed sunoo. his gaze softened upon seeing your teary eyes, lashes wet and flushed face.
"just… don’t mind me" you mumbled and hid your face in your shirt again. you just couldn’t stand someone seeing you in such state, whether it was someone close or a stranger.
"i… i don’t know what he said but i’ve noticed that there’s something going on with you. and may have heard what your friends said... do you want to talk about it?" sunoo asked gently and all he could hear were the harsh sobs leaving your lips.
"they talk about me behind my back?" you whined, your shoulders shaking even more. his eyes widened. that was not the best thing to say…
"no, no! i mean they said you look really tired lately…" he explained hastily and suddenly you looked up. your shirt was soaked with tears and your face was a mess, your pupils blown and wet stains on your cheeks.
"i’m so tired, sunoo. i don’t think i can handle this anymore… and everyone seems to be doing great… just not me…" you mumbled, sending him a sad smile. the pearly tears balanced at the edge of your waterline, ready to spill. he shook his head.
"you’ve got this, i know you do. you got here somehow in the first place, no? if you want, i can help you. with anything. i’m not the smartest but i do understand some things so…" he stopped talking upon seeing your curious gaze.
"why are you doing this?” you asked, sniffling.
"i just… you’re my classmate in a need of help. i couldn’t stand there and not do anything when i heard you cry. and now there’s no way out, isn’t it?" sunoo joked and his face lit up. oh, this boy was a literal sunshine.
"you said everything?" you mumbled, unsurely. he nodded, a caring smile tugging on his lips "can… hmpfh… can i hug you…?"
the words were so quiet, sunoo barely heard them. but he noticed the begging look in your eyes and who was he to deny? it’s not like he would mind, either.
sunoo just opened your arms and you hugged him tightly, wrapping your arms around his waist. he patted your back soothingly, letting you let out all of your pent up stress.
a part of sunoo’s heart raced because he wouldn’t have ever imagined that he would hug his hallway crush. the other part which caused his heart to race was the embrace itself, your smell and you in general – and he was happy he could help you.
neither of you didn’t have to talk right now. a silent hug that expressed more than a sentences could ever. and both of you knew, sitting here glued to each other and in comfortable silence, that it was a beginning of a beautiful friendship.
masterlist <3
taglist. @primoppang ,, @laylasbunbunny ,, @slytherinshua ,, @kazmura ,, @nicholasluvbot ,, @weird-bookworm ,, @dazzlingligth ,, @w3bqrl ,, @ocean-minho ,, @s-e-s-a-l-e-n-e ,, @eternalgyu ,, @haecien
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heartsfromia · 1 year
Text
a helping hand — c. seungcheol
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pairing: non-idol! seungcheol x f!reader
word count: 4,872
genre: minor angst, fluff, workplace romance
warnings: reader experiences sleep deprivation, curse words, reader is a b*tch to cheol cuz of sleep deprivation and an annoying manager
author's notes: i have returned with more (not proofread) writing !
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Your eyes were practically filled with lead as you stared at your computer screen, the design you had opened on Photoshop blurring as consciousness continues to slip past your fingers. Whatever you had planned on fixing with the design in front of you was long gone with your sanity and will to stay awake. As darkness surrounds you, all you could hear is the clicking of your mouse and keyboard, your department completely empty aside from you.
Your eyes flickered to the bottom corner of your screen; 08:24 PM, it read. Everyone else in the department had gone home, at six, but because your annoying, and cutthroat new team manager was giving you so much crap for the designs you submitted for next quarter’s social media, you were forced to work later to fix the mistakes she had pointed out.
It wasn’t unusual for the design team to stay later in the office to finish up projects, but your former team manager never allowed anyone to stay past seven. Safe to say, your new team manager didn’t care—all she cared about was that you work quick, and efficient. If it requires staying overnight at the office, then better bring out your neck pillow.
“Hello? Is someone still here?” Jumping in your chair, you looked over the dividers of your cubicle, spotting Seungcheol, an employee in the Marketing division, standing by the door.
Raising your hand, you announced, “I am.”
Seungcheol’s eyes squinted, trying to spot you through the dark before his eyebrows knitted together in confusion upon seeing you in the empty room. “Y/N? What are you still doing here?” His footsteps echoed throughout the empty room, approaching you and seating himself in the cubicle beside you. “Working on something?”
You weakly nodded, sleep returning to fog your brain. “I have revisions from Hyunhee.”
“Hyunhee?”
“Our new team manager,” you grumbled, just thinking about the woman made your head ache in annoyance. “Since Jiha is on maternal leave, I have to handle both hers and my own projects, and Hyunhee—safe to say—” you motioned to the empty room “—she’s a pain in my ass.”
Seungcheol couldn’t help but chuckle, shaking his head. “And this?” He nodded his head towards your computer.
“It’s for next quarter’s Instagram feed, but Hyunhee has a completely different idea to what my former team manager had, so she hates every single thing that I’ve given her.”
“Really? She’s that bad?”
You nod, your lips jutting out slightly as you recall how terrible Hyunhee was to you since she became the team manager. “I don’t get it, though—don’t get me wrong, she’s a nightmare to everyone, but it feels especially bad when it comes to me.”
“How come?”
“It might be because on her first day, I had a septum piercing, and she called me out on that saying it’s unprofessional and that I should remove it,” you explained, the design on your computer long forgotten as you shifted in your chair to face Seungcheol. Your brows furrowed upon a realization, “Wait, why are you still here?”
“I left at six, but came back because I forgot my phone charger,” he explained, “and since the janitor was mopping up the area in front of the lift, I chose to go down the stairs and walked past here and noticed the light in your cubicle.”
“It must be nice having an overbearing manager,” you mumbled, adding, “you can leave once work hours are over.”
“Why don’t you continue it tomorrow, Y/N?” He takes a gander at your work. “It looks good, too, you can do finishing touches tomorrow morning.”
“Because Hyunhee wants it tomorrow, before she comes in,” you responded, the urge to cry out of frustration growing stronger. “And this design is the one that she rejected, all of it.” You couldn’t but chuckle at Seungcheol when he stares at you with widened eyes, shocked.
“Is this even allowed? I get staying an hour after work hours end, but it’s almost nine, Y/N.”
“She doesn’t really care, just cares that the project is complete and placed on her desk when she asked for it,” you informed him, and immediately looked away as he stares at you in pity. It’s pathetic, really, to feel obligated to invest so much time and energy for something you knew could be completed within working hours. Maybe you were scared of Hyunhee. Rumors say that she got the job as team manager because she is indirectly connected to the Chief of Operation in your company, and you didn’t want to find out what would happen if you crossed the line.
Or in this case, submit a late project.
“Do you want me to accompany you while you work on this? I don’t mind staying in late,” Seungcheol offered, and your heart couldn’t help but melt at his offer. You couldn’t lie that being accompanied by an attractive guy as the hours grow late wasn’t a bad thing—it could help keep you awake, too, but you felt bad. This wasn’t Seungcheol’s project to complete, it was (unfortunately) yours.
So, you shook your head, giving him a reassuring smile, “No need, Cheol. I might go home in twenty minutes, and continue then.”
“I’ll accompany you until then, Y/N,” he states, sitting back and crossing his arms over his chest to indicate he wasn’t going to move.
“Seriously, Cheol, you can go home, I’ll be fine.”
He only shakes his head, standing (or sitting) his ground. He then nods his head towards your abandoned project. “Go on, Y/N, move it to your USB.”
As you move the files to your flash drive, Seungcheol stood from the chair, eyes wandering around your cubicle space, noticing the little pictures you had all around the walls of the divider—there were a few of you with your friends and family, none that came off to be anything more than platonic.
Why was he even looking to see if you had a partner or not? His cheeks heated at the realization when his heart raced at the possibility of you being single.
“Seungcheol?”
“I’m sorry, Y/N, what?” You couldn’t help but chuckle seeing his flustered face beneath the dim lighting of your cubicle. Your interactions with Seungcheol aren’t daily, but they’re enough to have you form an interest towards the Marketing division employee. He’s also the only one from the Marketing division that doesn’t give ridiculous deadlines like the rest of his team.
“I’m ready,” you repeated, and he nodded, taking a step back to allow you to walk ahead of him after turning off your desk lamp and the two of you left the office.
“Do you usually stay at the office this long?” Seungcheol asks as the two of you stepped into the elevator, and you shake your head no before answering, leaning your back against the metal walls.
“Not really, I get really bad headaches if I stay up too long, so safe to say I’m going to have a blast tomorrow at work,” you answered with a bitter chuckle. “It wouldn’t be a problem if right when I get home, I sleep, but I still have a lot to fix before tomorrow morning, so…” You trailed off with a shrug, Seungcheol’s look of concern not going unnoticed, causing you to chuckle. “It’s fine, Cheol… I’ll be fine.”
He only nodded, not convinced enough but didn’t press on. “Did you drive here?”
“Yeah, I did.” He nodded, and that was the end of your conversation as the two of you bid goodbye before climbing into your cars and driving separate directions towards your homes. As you had told him, the moment you stepped into your apartment, you didn’t directly fall into the soft covers of your bed, knowing well enough that the second your head touches your fluffed up pillow, you’d be out like a light.
So, you placed your work laptop onto your coffee table, arranging your pillows in a way that allowed you to sit on your wooden floor without flattening your butt. You brewed up a shot of espresso, ordering something to snack on as you turned on your personal laptop for an ambience. Once you felt that you could comfortably continue the project, you put on your headphones and got to work, eyes flickering between the laptop and the sheet of paper that Hyunhee had revised, making sure that all details she demanded of were there.
It was 4:52 AM when you finally finished everything, double checking and adjusting all elements before saving and resting your head on your arms that were folded on the coffee table. Despite downing two cups of iced coffee, the caffeine could not completely erase your exhaustion and soon enough, you awoke to your alarm, indicating that it was already eight in the morning, and you needed to be in the office before nine-thirty.
As you pushed yourself up, your head immediately spun, your vision blurring and for a couple seconds, an aching feeling pierced through your skull, forcing you to have to sit for a minute to let it pass. Damn it, today was going to be difficult to get through with your obvious sleep deprivation. Not even taking an ibuprofen could aid the headache that was going to worsen the longer you stayed awake, but you couldn’t call in sick, especially an hour before the day starts. Hyunhee has always nagged about last-minute excuses, asking (demanding) all of you to inform her 24 hours before, and anything after would not be allowed.
Pushing yourself, you quickly showered, deciding to grab breakfast on the way and within twenty minutes, you were out of your apartment and on the way to the office. Upon arrival, you practically sprinted to your office, eyes locking with your co-workers as they stare at you and shake their heads, indicating that Hyunhee hasn’t arrived yet. With a sigh of relief, you tip-toe into your supervisor’s office, placing the printed results and found your cubicle, practically falling onto your chair.
“Hey, Y/N, you okay?” You glance over at Yeeun, finding her staring at you with a look of concern. “You look really pale, Y/N, how much sleep did you get last night?”
“Barely any,” you answered with a pout, grabbing your phone to see your face. Although, you couldn’t really tell the difference. You did feel terrible, but safe to say, work isn’t that fun for you to put on so much effort for a job that doesn’t pay you enough. “I finished the Youngbok project just this morning.”
“Seriously? You’re still working on that?”
Before you could answer, Hyunhee bid everyone a good morning as she entered the department, her heels clicking against the ceramic floor as she walks into her office. You could only share a knowing look with your co-worker as you sunk into your chair.
It was good twenty minutes of peace in the Graphic Designs department, the clicking of keyboard and mice, and soft murmuring of the employees filling the air before a shrill yell emerged from Hyunhee’s office, a shiver running up your spine as you realized in your sleep deprived state that she had called you.
Yeeun shared the same look of genuine fear with you, as everyone stared at you with wide-eyes. You stood from your chair, the steps you took to Hyunhee’s office felt heavy, as if the soles of your shoes were filled with lead. Dread began to fill your body to the tips of your hair as you gently knock on your superior’s door, her eyes glaring at you before staring at the sheets of printed out designs you had laid out. You entered her office after excusing yourself in a tone nothing higher than a whisper, and she glances between the door and you, signaling you to close the door.
This isn’t going to end well, you couldn’t help but think as you push the door, the clicking of the lock practically echoing throughout the department, everyone outside of where you were, were sat at the edge of their seat, fearing for what was about to happen.
There was a deafening silence as you stood in front of her desk, watching as she flips through your designs, and you felt yourself disassociating for a second, in a daze as your eyes gloss over while staring at her crossing out everything with her wretched red marker.
A slam of the compiled prints against the ceramic floor broke your daze, and you found your designs by your feet, on the floor.
If you were pale from sleep deprivation then, you were now pale from pure fear.
“What the hell is that?”
“I-it’s the revised designs you asked of me,” you stutter, internally beating yourself up for sounding so scared.
“Are you sure? Because I asked for designs, not pure rubbish, Y/N,” she insults, her words laced purely with venom as she stares you down. Not knowing what to say, you stayed quiet and she took that opportunity to berate you even more. “I don’t understand what Mr. Kim had saw in you, but it sure as well wasn’t anything good, because how is that you have worked in this department for so long, and yet, are incapable of providing compelling designs, hm?”
“I’m sorry, Hyunhee, I will work on it and fix everything I did wrong,” you quickly apologized, kneeling down to pick up the papers.
She leans forward, resting her chin atop her hands, as she glares at you. “I want them today, before you leave the office—even if that means you have to spend the night here, I don’t care.”
“I-I understand,” you muttered, ducking your head.
“Leave.” She didn’t have to tell you twice before you dipped out of her office, tossing the paper onto your desk and slumped into your seat. You wanted to cry. You wanted to cry and scream, but you didn’t want to give Hyunhee the satisfaction that she actually broke you apart. All eyes were on you, however, everyone knew better than to bother or ask someone after they had faced the devil incarnate. Yeeun found it difficult to turn a blind eye on your obvious disoriented state, from both sleep deprivation and having faced Hyunhee so early in the morning, but she knew you’d snap if she even poked you.
You wanted to leave, walk out of the office because you believed you didn’t deserve to be treated like that unwarranted, but you couldn’t. You couldn’t bring your feet to stand up and walk out that door knowing well enough that you can never come back in. You would have lost your job—all the work that you put into this job for the past year would be thrown out the window because a woman that has barely sat in that office feels that she has power over you, and your future. In a way, she did. Her words will always go against yours, and hers—backed by the connections that got her this job with minimal experience in graphic design—would always prevail.
So, all you could was listen and work on the revisions she had given. No word had left your lips since you had left Hyunhee’s office, and no one bothered you as you put on earphones and focused on the project opened. Your break times consisted of staying seated in your chair, opening YouTube to watch some video that you couldn’t pay attention to, watching it for five minutes before closing and continuing the project.
Before you knew it, shades of orange had begun to bleed through the blinds of the office, people were packing up and sparing pitiful glances as they bid each other goodbye, their wary gaze not unnoticed by you. Nonetheless, you paid them no mind, completely set on finishing everything before the day ends. You were lucky enough to gain at least thirty minutes of sleep because Hyunhee had left the office early, allowing for you to close your eyes with no fear of being woken up by the she-demon.
You were tempted on sleeping, anyway, knowing well enough you’d wake up with an ache in your neck and an unfinished assignment. Your eyes were closing slowly, your screen blurring as you felt sleep take over you, only to jump, a scream exiting your lips when you felt a hand grasp your shoulder.
“Oh my—I’m so sorry, Y/N,” Seungcheol profusely apologized when he noticed the tears brimming at your eyes from the genuine scare. “I called you earlier, but I didn’t see you wearing earphones.”
Too tired, too angry, you couldn’t muster up a comment, only shrugging off his hand as you turned your head to your computer, the jolt from Seungcheol giving you a bit of energy to work off of.
“Hey, I heard, by the way, from everyone that Hyunhee gave you an earful,” he stated, sitting besides you.
You couldn’t help but scoff, “An earful? That’s an understatement.”
“Are you okay, Y/N?”
Aggravated, you removed both earbuds from your ears, spinning with a sharp turn on your chair to face Seungcheol, your brows furrowed and fury running through your veins. All you ask is to not be disturbed until you get this stupid, cursed project done, was that so much? “Do I look okay, Seungcheol?”
Noticing your hostile behaviour, his expression mirrored yours, with a touch of worry found in the glint of his eyes. “I’m just trying to make sure you’re okay, Y/N. I don’t mean to be rude, if that’s how I come off right now.”
“Well, you do, alright?” You lifted your earphones, waving it in front of him. “If I have these on, it’s a universal sign that I don’t want to talk to anyone—you noticed them, why are you bothering me right now?”
Taken aback by your words, he was stunned—his mouth opened then closed, unsure on how to react to your sudden behaviour. He has never seen you this angry, not even when ranting about Hyunhee. You watched as his jaw clenched, momentarily looking away as if that would allow him to cool down, before he clapped his hands on his knees and stood from his chair.
“You’re obviously exhausted, Y/N, Yeeun told me you barely slept that might be why you’re being the way you are right now,” Seungcheol pointed out, “I’ll leave you alone, alright? I’m so sorry that I actually give a shit about you, and wanted to make sure you were okay.” Before you could take back all you had said, Seungcheol was out the door, leaving you in your office alone, the darkness encompassing you, seeping deep within to your bones.
The one person that genuinely was there for you, only ever cared for you, and put him on the receiving end of your shitty day. Way to go, Y/N.
Rubbing your eyes with the heels of your palm, whatever energy you had to work on the project was thrown out the window, and you couldn’t find it in yourself to continue clicking the mouse or tapping the keyboard, not with the guilt from how you spoke to Seungcheol still plaguing your thoughts. You weren’t going to get anything done at this point.
Packing your things, you quickly rushed out to your car, praying that he didn’t completely hate you as you drove to his apartment. You weren’t sure what you were going to do once you got there, but what you were sure was that you’ll grovel, and hope he forgives you for being such an ass, unwarranted. Upon arrival, you practically jumped out of your car, rushing up the evacuation steps to his floor, and reached up to knock, but paused.
What if he doesn’t forgive you? It’s not like your friendship with him was more than as acquaintances. He didn’t have anything to lose with losing you, but you felt you had everything to lose with losing him. He was the first person you got to know in this stupid company—as he mentored you during your internship in the company. Then, after you graduated college, you reached out again, and applied for the Graphic Design division. Seungcheol guided you ever since, and admittedly, you’ve grown fond of him—you admired him as a role model, and more.
He’s not obligated to forgive you, but you already came this far, might as well give it a try?
Taking a deep breath, you gently knocked on his door a few times, hearing rustling on the other side before the door swung open, revealing Seungcheol already out of his work clothes, and in a plain white tee and grey sweatpants. “I thought I said just leave it by the— Y/N?”
“Sorry, I forgot your delivery at the restaurant,” you improved, causing Seungcheol’s thick brows to furrow before he chuckled, your joke successfully amusing him.
“What are you doing here?”
“It’s definitely not to deliver your food, that’s for sure,” you awkwardly smiled, feeling your heart race from seeing him in such a laid-back outfit. You had never seen Seungcheol wear anything other than the button-ups and slacks you were used to seeing at the work, so seeing him look so… cozy, was a sight you wish to never grow tired of.
The corner of Seungcheol’s lips tilted upwards, but he didn’t laugh. Leaning against the frame of his door, he crossed his (muscular) arms over his chest, waiting for an explanation as to why you suddenly appeared at his front door.
“Look, Seungcheol—”
“Delivery for Choi Seungcheol.” A new voice caused you to jump, both your heads turning to see the delivery boy appear from the turn, his eyes looking questioningly at both you and your acquaintance. “Choi Seungcheol?”
“That’s me, thanks,” Seungcheol uttered, reaching out and taking the plastic bags from the delivery boy, the latter leaving with a tilt of his hat towards you and disappearing past the corner.
“As I was—” You turn to face Seungcheol again, but he, too, disappeared. You peeked into his apartment to find him pulling out his order, arranging them on his coffee table before sitting on the floor. He glances up at you, wordlessly waving for you to come in, and unsure what else to do, you obliged, closing the door behind you and slipping your feet out your shoes.
“I didn’t expect company, but dig in if you want,” he uttered, handing you a pair of chopsticks. It was only then did you realize that you barely ate today, too occupied with the stupid project. “If it’s not enough, we can always order more.”
“Seungcheol, I’m trying to apologize to you,” you spoke up, head tilted down at your knees. “I’m really sorry for taking my anger out on you… You of all people didn’t deserve it…”
When Seungcheol didn’t respond, you looked up to find him slurping up jjajangmyeon, eyes trained on his TV. “Are you serious?”
He glanced over at you, stifling a laugh before wiping his mouth with tissue, “I thought you were going to go on a full rant, at least three paragraphs.”
You pouted, “Me coming here was on a whim, I didn’t really prepare anything.”
He found your defeated expression adorable, couldn’t help but chuckle as he pushes a bowl towards you, adding the noodles onto the empty space before tapping the rim, gesturing for you to eat. “You’re really pale, Y/N, did you eat anything today?”
“Probably cup noodles,” you mumbled, eyes glimmering at the sight of the thickly coated noodles. “I couldn’t really do anything other than work on that stupid project.”
“Hyunhee made you stay late again?” You nodded, your cheeks full of the noodles. “Look, Y/N, I know you love being a graphic designer, but do you really think it’s alright to work under someone like her? This seems like she’s abusing her power as team manager, and overworking you.” As he spoke, he reached out with a tissue in hand, wiping the corner of your lips. Why did he look so nonchalant about it, too?
“I don’t want to quit, though, I’ve been here longer than she has, why do I have to leave?” You complained once you swallowed the noodles. “I just… I hate it, you know? I’ve just been trying so damn hard, yet nothing ever works out… Especially since she came into the picture.”
There was a brief moment of silence.
“How about transferring divisions?” Seungcheol quipped, continuing, “I’m sure if you make a letter of intent to the department manager, you could be moved to a different division where Hyunhee doesn’t exist.”
“Is that possible?”
He nodded. “Did you think I was always in the Marketing division?”
“I honestly thought you’d be a finance guy.”
“I was.” Your widened eyes caused him to laugh. “Then I moved, it was a few months before you came in as an intern.”
“Really?” He nods, and you thought about it. “You think I’d be allowed to move divisions?”
“Yeah, why not? If you give a good reason to why you should be moved, then it’s possible.” You pondered over the suggestion, the two of you letting a few minutes of silence pass while eating before you spoke up again.
“But I don’t want to leave the department.”
“Then ask to be transferred to a different division.”
“What about your division?” Seungcheol stares at you with bewildered eyes, genuinely surprised at your suggestion. “I mean, it’s less work for you since I already have experience working with you, and I won’t need a mentor—I already know the head, so that’s also less work.”
“No, not mine, Y/N,”
“Why not?”
“It’s a violation of our code of conducts, Y/N, don’t you know?”
“What about me moving to your division violates the code of conducts?”
“Employees from the same division are not allowed to fraternize with one another,” he explains, “if you move to my division, we’ll be co-workers.”
“So? It’s not like we’re dating.”
“Not yet.”
“Sure—” You froze, the chopsticks you raised to your lips dropping back into the bowl. “—What?”
“What?” Seungcheol asked, nonchalant. His tone might’ve been nonchalant and unbothered, but you could see from his cheeks to the points of his ears were flushed a bright red under the warm lighting of his living room.
“You like me?”
He shrugged, “Why do you think I walk by your office every day?”
“I thought you only did that because the janitor was cleaning the floor.”
He inhaled a deep breath, releasing the heavy sigh before standing to grab water from the kitchen, ruffling your hair on the way. “You’re very oblivious, Y/N.”
“S-so, all this time?”
“Not all this time, Y/N, I just know that I see you more than just an acquaintance,” he explains, tossing you a bottle of water. “But that’s not important right now. Right now we need to get you out of Hyunhee’s team.”
How… How is he able to continue this conversation after admitting to having feelings for you? How is he so calm?
He wasn’t. If you looked closer, the only reason why he tossed you the bottle was because if he handed it to you, then you’d most likely notice his shaking hands. The only reason why he changed the topic was because the longer you talk about him and his feelings, the redder he’ll be and to be honest, he likes to come off calm and collected to you, despite being the complete opposite when it comes to being near you.
“You’ll help me with that?”
Seungcheol nods. “Of course I would—just think of me as a helping hand now, Y/N. I help you, and you can help me when the time comes.”
“And what would you need help with, Choi Seungcheol?”
“I have two tickets to movie Saturday night, I’ll need help to make sure the other ticket doesn’t go to waste, Y/N,” he proposed, causing your cheeks to ache from the smile on your face. “But right now, I need help finishing this food. Are you up for it?”
You chuckled, nodding, “I’ll gladly give you a helping hand.”
805 notes · View notes
nebulablakemurphy · 11 months
Text
Moves & Countermoves (Part 16)
Summary: No one ever wins the games, even fourteen years later, Y/N is still playing.
Prologue | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15
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It is cold and dark, woken from a peaceful slumber to run. Everyone around them is yelling, it’s always scary when grown ups yell.
They are scrambling now, tripping over each other in haste, to get to the woods. A place they’ve been forbidden to go.
“Come on, baby. Keep up.” His aunt insists, in a voice that sounds so like his mother’s. His mother.
“What about my mom and dad?” Everest asks.
“We’ll see them soon.” Madge tells him.
The sky opens and rains fire.
“You said we had an hour.” Gale shouts, over the commotion.
“They must’ve launched the fleet out of district eleven.” Everest’s grandfather calls back. “Get to the woods.”
He is a quiet man. Even tempered, he does not yell; yet he is yelling.
“Dad!” Aunt Madge tries to catch him, but her hands are full.
Full of Arista and me.
“Captain goes down with the ship.” He is gone, lost in the smoke, never to return. A debt paid for the lives he saved.
“No!” Everest wants to go back. Run to him, change it, but he can’t. Someone is holding him still, shaking his shoulders.
“Everest.”
His mother. But she isn’t here. She couldn’t be.
“Shh, shh.”
Mom. The boy startles awake, in their new living quarters of district thirteen. Just a dream.
The baby is crying, he must have woken her too.
Still his mother is there, rocking him gently, smoothing down his hair. “I’m here, you’re safe.”
Everest clings to her, watching as she uses a foot to push the bassinet from side to side. Quieting his littlest sister.
Daisy May.
A child wrought into the world through his mother’s blood, sweat and tears. She cries like it pains her to be separated from the woman who’s given her life and he does not blame her.
“Here, you can come lay with me.” Y/N offers, it is hard to be in two places at once.
Everest climbs into her bed, the spot left vacant by his father. The doctors are trying to make him comfortable, while his body adjusts to the lack of alcohol.
To the victors go the spoils.
————————————————————————
Morning comes much too early, signified by the shifting brightness of lights, rather than the sun.
Everest and Arista leave with Madge for school. There aren’t many children here in thirteen, most teachers have been made useful elsewhere.
This is one of the few things she has allowed, over their three weeks underground, hoping it will help the children acclimate.
Y/N sets her daughter down, in the makeshift bassinet, causing the infant to wail in protest.
“Just for a minute, just for a minute.” She’s coos, pulling on her jumpsuit as fast as she can. Even showering has proven difficult without the extra set of hands. Without Haymitch.
“Civilian Abernathy.” One of the guards call from outside the door.
“She’s fine.” Y/N assures him, finishing up the last of her buttons and tossing the baby sling over her head. Reaching down for the infant, she situates her gently. The silence is instant.
“Happy to hear it. Your presence is requested by President Coin.”
Y/N rolls her eyes. If it’s not one president it’s another. She opens the door to find the same man who’s been keeping an eye on her since arrival. “It’s not on my schedule.” She holds out her forearm, showcasing the printed timesheet.
“Your schedule will be revised to compensate the time.”
“Perfect.” Y/N forces a smile. “Any idea what this is about?” She follows him down to the elevator.
“I’m just here to escort you.” He draws the large metal doors closed around them.
“Ever had anybody jump?” They must be thirty stories up.
The soldier shifts. “Are you thinking about it?”
“No,” she shrugs, “just making conversation.”
They reach their destination and the gates plunk open, “charming.”
The rest of their trek is silent. He opens the door and then closes her inside to stand watch. Leaving her to the wolves.
“Y/N, thank you for meeting with me.” Alma Coin says, seated at the long rectangular table. “Please, have a seat.”
“She likes it better when I stand.” Y/N says, patting the child on her chest as she approaches the table.
“Of course.” Coin nods, “you look well.”
“I’m weller than I was when I got here.” Unconscious and hemorrhaging from birth complications.
Plutarch smiles. Hello again.
“I was glad to hear that you’ve received a clear bill of health from our medical team.” Coin runs the tip of her pen over paper as she speaks.
“So the therapist you have me meeting with is just for fun?” Y/N cocks her head to the side.
“For anyone to endure the level of psychological abuse that you have seen and still persevere…you are an inspiration to us all.”
Y/N swallows hard. What do you want?
“Even still, we feel it’s beneficial for you to continue your sessions with Dr. Aurelius.”
“Any word on extracting the victors being held in the Capitol?” Peeta. Johanna. Annie.
“Rest assured, we are working around the clock to find a safe and effective way to liberate the other victors.”
Y/N nods, bouncing lightly from one foot to the other.
“I hear Haymitch is nearing the end of his withdrawal process and will be assimilated into the general population in the next few days.” Coin continues.
Another nod.
“I understand how delicate this subject may be for you, but if you’d like to keep separate quarters-”
“Why would I do that?” Y/N demands.
Plutarch clears his throat. Alma Coin is about to step over the line and finally understand why Snow kept such tight reins on his Capitol darling.
“Given your history.”
“History?”
“This can be a fresh start for the both of you.” Coin replies, softly. “Dissolve the marriage, with custody arrangements for the children.”
“I don’t want to dissolve my marriage.” Maybe there was some version of her that did. A casualty of war, buried long before his babies grew inside her.
“This is all you’ve known since you were nineteen. I can see how the idea of leaving would be intimidating.”
“You don’t know half the hell I’ve been through, or what Haymitch had to do for me to be standing in this room today. If you did, you wouldn’t be insinuate that this ‘arrangement’ is something I want.” Y/N’s chest heaves, anger boiling in her veins.
“Forgive me.” President Coin concedes, “I didn’t mean to offend you, it was only an offer.”
“I appreciate the thought, but it won’t be necessary. If that’s all-”
“There is one more thing,” Alma is not yet finished, “in regards to Katniss.”
Leave her alone. “Katniss needs more time.”
The president steeples her hands. “I wish we had that to offer, unfortunately the revolution has grown stagnant. We need to fuel this fire, otherwise we might be waiting another seventy-five years.”
“What do you want her to do?”
Now Plutarch takes the floor. “We’d like to shoot a series of propaganda, I like to call them propos. Ideally, we would use you and Katniss in tandem. The districts will follow Katniss, but the Capitol will follow you.”
We would use you. “Can I talk to her first?”
“Please do.” This is a clear dismissal.
————————————————————————
“Sorry I’m late.” Y/N is all but panting when she reaches her husband. Past the rooms harboring Cashmere, Finnick, Katniss and the other patients of thirteen.
He stops bouncing the muted green ball off the wall, catching it in hand. There’s not much to do down here, especially in what feels like solitary confinement. The good doctors are all concerned with his fine motor skills. Haymitch simply tells them, ‘they’re fine.’ Somehow they don’t find this funny.
He gives his wife a tired grin. “Word is, you got stuck in a meeting with Coin…anything new on Peeta?”
“No,” Y/N sighs, “she called me in to tell me about her master plan with Plutarch.”
“Ah,” Haymitch chortles, “do tell.”
“They wanna use Katniss to appeal to the districts and use me to rally support in the Capitol.” She plops, unceremoniously, onto his bed, shoes and all. Removing the baby from her carrier when she begins to fuss.
Thirteen’s jumpsuits are nothing to write home about, but easy enough to open and nurse at a moment’s notice.
“I can think of a few reasons as to why it won’t work.” Haymitch sits at the foot of his mattress.
“Lay it on me.”
“First of all, Katniss can’t act. Not to save her life.”
Y/N lifts a shoulder, “maybe she’ll do better with practice.”
“I think it’ll be harder than they’re expecting. Especially now, without-” Peeta.
“Yeah,” Y/N looks away.
“What else is wrong?” He knocks her knee.
“Coin offered to dissolve our marriage.”
Haymitch shifts, “and what did you say?”
“I told her to fuck herself.” Y/N says, with a hand over Daisy’s ear. “Nicely.”
At this he smiles, “good. I’m glad we’re both in agreement.”
Y/N reaches for his hand. “You look really good today, Haymitch.” Healthy. No longer trembling or in pain, from lack of alcohol.
“You too.” This separation thing is brutal. They’ve never been apart like this since before they were married.
Y/N can’t run down, at any hour after a nightmare, to crawl into his bed. Same way she couldn’t sit by his bedside and comfort him, when he needed it most, because their children needed her.
“Don’t do that,” he chides.
“Do what?”
“Don’t cry. Don’t.” He moves in closer, putting an arm around her, with Daisy nursing between them.
“I just miss you.” I wanna be with you.
Haymitch inhales, deeply. “When I get outta here, I’m gonna be so far up your ass-” This earns him a laugh, so he keeps going. “You’re going to be sick of me.” I wanna be with you too.
————————————————————————-
“Katniss.” She is in the same place Y/N left her. Alone in her room, with her mind out to sea.
The girl says nothing, acknowledging Y/N with a glance as she rolls Peeta’s pearl between her fingers.
“I was hoping we could talk.”
Katniss pauses to consider. “I stayed with you.”
“Hmm?”
“I stayed with you and slept in that stupid chair by your bed for three days, before they made me leave.”
“Katniss.”
“They took Haymitch first, when his headaches got too bad. Madge took the baby and it was just us.” Katniss recounts, “I thought you were gonna die.”
Y/N runs a hand over her dark hair, loose from its braid.
“Then you got up and kept on living, like nothing happened. Like Haymitch wasn’t drying out in some facility, like the bombs never went off, like the games never happened and Peeta isn’t gone.” Katniss says, “but I’m not like you, I can’t do that.”
I hope you don’t end up like me, Katniss. “Can I show you something?”
Katniss nods.
“This is a trick somebody taught me a long time ago. I think it might help.” Y/N holds out a hand.
Katniss mirrors her.
“I feel everything right in my chest. All my pain, worry, anger; it always starts right there.” She gently rests her hand over her heart, just above where her child sleeps, content in her sling.
Katniss follows, placing a hand on her own stomach.
“I just hold it there and think.”
“Think about what?”
“What I’m going to do with those feelings. Sometimes all I can do is feel them. Other times I can channel them into something else, something good.”
“Haymitch taught you that, didn’t he?”
‘That’s where it hurts, huh? Right here?’ Haymitch rubs at the ache in her chest.
That was a lifetime ago. “He did.”
Katniss allows her hand to fall away. “I can’t forgive him.” Not yet, maybe not ever.
“I’m not asking you to.”
This stuns Katniss, eyes wide, searching.
“I do want you to remember that he cares about you and he cares about Peeta. Leaving him behind isn’t something he wanted. It was a choice we had to make; the Capitol fleet was within firing distance. We took a hit and we still circled back, but Peeta and Johanna were already gone.”
“I didn’t know.”
“How could you know?” Y/N replies, ruefully. I wasn’t here to tell you.
Katniss blinks at her.
“I had a meeting today, with Plutarch and President Coin.”
“What did they want?”
“They wanna use us, namely you, to fuel the revolution.” Y/N cuts to the chase, “I’m no stranger to being used, but I have found that if you play your cards right, it can be mutually beneficial.”
“Beneficial how?” She wonders.
“Help us get Peeta back and take down Snow.”
————————————————————————
“It’s been a week since our last session. Any changes? Anything specific you’d like to talk about?”
Y/N sinks back into the chair. “My son’s been having nightmares.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.” Dr. Aurelius jots this down. “About anything in particular?”
“The bombs, district twelve, losing his grandfather.” My dad.
“This was your father, correct.”
“Yes.”
“And what about your husband’s family?”
“They were killed before I met him.”
“Killed?” This is news.
Y/N nods, “Snow had them killed as a punishment for how Haymitch won his games.”
“That must have been hard.”
“That’s not my story to tell.”
“Tell me your story.” The doctor crosses one leg over the other.
“Which one?” Y/N picks at the bed of her thumbnail.
“The real one, if you feel so inclined.”
“I’ve never told anyone.” Not even people I’ve known for years.
“There’s a first time for everything.”
“I don’t even know how to tell it.”
“Try.” He says simply.
“Well, I was born in district twelve, to my mother and father. My dad was the mayor and my mom…” My mom- “they both grew up in town.”
“What does that mean?” There is an implication he doesn’t understand.
“In district twelve,” which doesn’t exist anymore, “only the merchant families live in town.”
“They’re wealthy?” He deduces.
“By comparison.” Nothing like a victor’s salary.
“To what?”
“People from the Seam.” Y/N explains, “where Haymitch grew up.”
“I see.”
“The first few years, I was close with my mom’s sister, her name was Maysilee.”
“Was she lost in the bombing as well?”
“No.”
“How did she pass?”
Don’t you watch the games down here? “In the Quarter Quell, same year Haymitch won.”
“Did he kill her?”
“Come on, doc, the story’s not that twisted.” Y/N shakes her head. “They were allies.”
Part 17
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