#Chat Post

[petitprincess1]

Lucifer: Look what you've done to my peonies!

Alastor: They're marigolds!

Charlie: Dad, I think he's right, they are marigolds.

Lucifer: I may not know my flowers, but I know a BITCH when I see one!

#source: the gay decievers #hazbin hotel #alastor #lucifer morningstar #charlie morningstar #radioapple #appleradio #can be seen as enemies or frenemies with benefits :3 #chat post

[valiantstarlights]

Hob, talking to Dream on the phone while he's grading papers: So the kids (Rose and Jed) are visiting this weekend?

Dream: Yes.

Hob, distracted by the essay he's reading about Marlowe being better than Shitsbeard: Wonderful. Should I prepare some homemade meals for them?

Dream: No. I shall be the one to procure the food and drinks, as you have a late lecture class on Friday.

Hob, still kinda distracted: Oh, thanks, Dream. See you soon then, yeah?

Dream: Yes, Hob.

Hob: Alright, bye, I love you. *hangs up*

Dream:

Dream:

Dream:

Dream, appearing right next to Hob in the Waking World: I am in love with you as well, Hob Gadling. *kisses him on the lips and immediately peaces out*

Hob:

Matthew, who Dream had accidentally left behind:

Hob:

Matthew:

Hob: DID HE JUST--

Matthew: well to be fair you did say I love you to him first

Hob:

Hob: I did WHAT

Matthew: dammit I can't believe he left me behind again

#just two idiots in love your honor #look me in the eye and tell me this isn't how they actually confessed their feelings to each other and had their first kiss #matthew the raven needs a raise #dreamling #the sandman #chat post

[hermesmyplatonicbeloved]

Percy Jackson (TV show): My dad has never done a thing for me!! Why should I help him? My only parent is Sally Jackson.

Poseidon: *in the middle of paying child support so Sally can afford her apartment, send Percy to a private boarding school, sustain Gabe's online gambling and rent out a good quality Mohawk cabin on short notice*

Poseidon:

Poseidon, aside: Okay Sally we need to have a conversation-

#do ppl really think Sally's job can pay for all that??? she has to be CEO of a million dollar company to do that lol #percy jackson #pjo #percy jackson and the olympians #tv show pjo #pjo tv show #pjo tv series #pjo tv spoilers #pjo tv adaptation #pjo tv show disney+ #pjo disney+ #pjo disney plus #sally jackson #poseidon #child support #gabe ugliano #percy #sally #gabe #chat post

[cocopop-04]

Dick: *ordering the other batkids around* Steph: yes, mum Dick: *splutters* why am i the mum? Jason: Dickface, have you seen your motherhenning? Steph: Plus, Babs has to be the dad Dick: But I'm dating Wally! Tim: You and Babs are divorced. Wally's the fun step-dad. Dick: *sighs* Well, fine. What about B? *all fall silent* Steph: He's the weird, edgy uncle

From chapter 5 of my fic World Without Grown-Ups on ao3.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/46697407/chapters/117609160

#dc comics #young justice #fanfic #batfamily #dc universe #batman #dick grayson #jason todd #stephanie brown #birdflash #tim drake #dc #dcu #ao3 link #cocopop's fics #chat post #cocopop's posts

[cecil-is-an-eldrich-deity]

Me, an asexual talking about fanfiction: hmmmm there isn't enough character analysis in my porn

#fanfiction #fanfic #smut fanfiction #asexual #asexuality #chatpost #chat post #im ace and this is a joke tumblr #plz dont come for me

[sees-text-shenans]

I got this one request, I beat the game last night and one of the things I did in my playthrough was do the wilduck challenge for like 5 nights straight, so something with this please

(๑˃̵　ᴗ　˂̵)و

god mood

#persona 3 #p3 #persona #persona 3 fes #junpei iori #makoto yuki #minato arisato #p3mc #akihiko sanada #yukari takeba #persona 3 protagonist #persona 3 reload #shiomi sakuya #persona 3 memes #p3r #chat post

[x-emeraldsky-x]

Temari: Alright... what movie do you want to see?

Shikamaru: Barbie.

Temari: ... what?

Shikamaru: Barbie?

Temari: Shikamaru... I don't want to watch a movie about a childrens toy...

Shikamaru: You watched Mario with your brothers, that was targetted for kids!

Temari: I grew up with Mario, that was different!

Shikamaru: Pleeease?

Temari: No!

*in the movie theatre*

Temari: *crossing her arms* You're lucky I love you.

Shikamaru: I know I am. Thank you, Tema~

Temari: *grumbling* you're welcome.

#temari nara #nara temari #temari no sabaku #sabaku no temari #shikamaru nara #nara shikamaru #temari x shikamaru #temashika #shikatema #naruto #naruto shippuden #barbie movie #chat post

[shieldherostuffs]

Naofumi: I wish there was something between us.

Motoyasu: Like what?

Naofumi: A wall.

#the rising of the shield hero #rising of the shield hero #naofumi iwatani #incorrect rising of the shield hero #chat post #incorrect quotes #motoyasu kitamura

[oversandalyzer]

I feel like if Jason Grace and Kaladin met it would go something like this:

Kaladin: What are you doing here, the sky is mine. Jason: I'm pretty sure its my father's Syl: We're siblings??!?!?!?!

#stormlight archive #kaladin stormblessed #heroes of olympus #pjo #sylphrena #syl my beloved #chat post #Jason Grace #stormlight pjo crossover

[welcometotheravenclawcommonroom]

The student with the best grades at Hogwarts: my role model is Hermione Granger.

The student that has broken dozens of school rules and (allegedly) several local and international laws: my role model is Hermione Granger

#mod des #chat post #Harry Potter #Hermione granger #also both these students are trans #because fuck jk Rowling! #funny #chat

[toomanyplotbunnies-sendhelp]

How Reborn informed Tsuna he is a Mafia Boss in the canon:

Reborn: I am your new tutor, Reborn. And I will make you into a Mafia Boss.

Tsuna: Hieeeeeee!?

Vs

How Reborn informed Tsuna he is a Mafia Boss in my KHR Detective Conan AU:

Reborn: I am your new tutor, Reborn. And I will make you into a Mafia Boss.

Tsuna, calmly: Mister Reborn, you came unannounced into my house after you sent a sketchy advertisement to my address. You have admitted to being a hitman and part of a mafioso group. You also have a loaded gun in your possession, which is currently aimed at my face.

Reborn, confused: Yes, and?

Tsuna, still calm: Mister Reborn, I am gonna be frank with you. All of your actions until now will earn you a minimum of 10 years in prison as per the Japanese Law. *reaches out and pulls a badge/identification card that specifies Tsunayoshi Sawada works with the Japan Metropolitan Police Department* As a member of the law enforcement, I cannot allow you to go unpunished for this.

*stunned silence*

Reborn, murderous: I am gonna take Iemitsu's kneecaps and then feed him his own tongue.

Tsuna, sipping tea: I can overlook that I suppose.

Reborn: The threat or the action?

Tsuna, smirking: Both.

Reborn, smirking: I kinda like you brat.

Tsuna: I am still putting you in jail however.

Reborn: ... and you just ruined the moment.

#khr #katekyo hitman reborn #detective conan au #sawada tsunayoshi #reborn #rip Iemitsu's kneecaps and tongue #you will not be missed #detective sawada tsunayoshi #chat post #i don't know how to tag this

[petitprincess1]

Alastor, poking the snake on Lucifer's hat: Is this thing poisonous?

Lucifer: Nah, fam.

Alastor: *the snake comes to life, bites Al, and he drops to the ground, foaming at the mouth*

Lucifer: It is venomous though!

#source: twitter #specifically the Oklahoma dept. of wildlife #their tweets are hilarious x3 #hazbin hotel #alastor #lucifer morningstar #lucifer #hazbin hotel Alastor #hazbin hotel lucifer #chat post

[valiantstarlights]

(At Hob's flat)

Matthew: Hey, Boss's husband. I've got a knock-knock joke for you. ...You know what those are, right? 👀

Hob: ...Matthew, I'm more than 600 years old. Of course I know what knock-knock jokes are.

Matthew: Okay, good! You'll enjoy this, then! So uh, knock knock.

Hob: Who's there?

Matthew: Turn down for.

Hob, perking up: Turn down for who?

Matthew: TURN DOWN FOR WHAT

(Hob and Matthew start dancing like possessed worms)

Dream, who is also more than 600 years old and is watching this from the safety of the couch:

#sometimes i think i'm funny #matthew the raven #dreamling #the sandman #chat post #meme edit #i finally made a reaction picture featuring #tom sturridge #also tagging this as #there are two kinds of immortals

[hyperfocusthusly]

Aziraphale: you remind me of the ocean

Crowley: because I’m wild, free and deeply unknowable?

Aziraphale: because you’re salty and you scare people

#can’t stop won’t stop #should I be working right now? #it’s more likely than you think #good omens #gomens #incorrect quotes #incorrect good omens quotes #chat post #aziraphale #Crowley #ineffable idiots #ineffable husbands #aziracrow #crowley x aziraphale #aziraphale x crowley #my incorrect quotes

[gralunaisland]

An Insult to juvia's (Lack of) Intelligence

*Lucy and Gray happily eating lunch together* juvia, across the guild hall: ohhh Gray-samaaaaaaa Gray: quick hide me juvia: *flounces over* Lucy, deadpan: sorry, Gray's not here at the moment juvia: *watches Gray unsuccessfully struggle to fit under the tiny table* you blonde bimbo, he's right there! Gray: *muffled* no i'm not Lucy, still deadpan: no he's not

#lucy will always have gray's back #even if it makes both of them look silly #insulting juvia's intelligence (or lack thereof) as they should! #i love gralu being audacious towards juvia #something more light-hearted after the post right before this one for yall #gralunachat #anti gruvia #anti juvia #anti juvia lockser #anti juvia loxar #fairy tail #defend gray fullbuster #anti gray x juvia #gray fullbuster #chat post #anti gray fullbuster x juvia lockser #gralu #graylu #lucy heartfilia #incorrect fairy tail quotes

[aidaronan]

Dustin: Have you seen Eddie? Steve: He's around here somewhere, hold on Steve: It's just a jump to the left! Eddie: AND THEN A STEP TO THE RIIIGHT Steve: There he is.

#riiight #steddie #chat post #rhps #Eddie would hit a jack black style falsetto on too