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#Gender discourse
audhdnight · 2 months
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You need to come to terms with the fact that there is nothing that makes men and women inherently different. Nothing. There is not a single characteristic that you can point to and say “yes that is a man thing and no woman does it” because there will always be exceptions, and a lot more of them than you think. Any time you try to separate the two (say for example in a discussion about reproductive rights) you exclude cis women with physical differences, trans women, intersex women, and yes even men who belong in the discussion as well.
There are boys that “look like” girls, girls that “look like” boys, non-binary people that look like one or both, and people who do fit in the gender binary but look like neither. There are girls that are also sometimes boys and vice versa. There are people whose gender fluctuates a lot and yet never lands on “man” or “woman” at all.
There is no separation of gender beyond what you as your own person decide your own gender is (and if you don’t want to decide that’s perfectly fine too). The more you accept that, the less you’ll police others’ identities and expressions, the more accepting you will become, and the better for it.
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It really boils down to this.
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BoJack Horseman, S3E8
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sophieinwonderland · 7 months
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can you PLEASE stop tagging your dumb bullshit “syscourse” posts with lgbt tags. i’m begging you.
I mean... when you put it like that...
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I think I'll do it more.
This was a post directly about how the "sysmed is transphobic" talking point harms transgender systems by branding transgender systems who have been harmed by sysmeds as transphobic.
This topic is every bit as much of an LGBT issue as it is a syscourse issue.
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hyggehooligan · 4 months
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Asking myself the same question tbh
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suppotato123 · 19 days
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I remember one time, I watched this video some conservative chud made about a human trying to explain transgender and nonbinary people to aliens, and, because it was a conservative video, the aliens were like, “aw! Basing your gender on something other than biological sex? These people must be mentally ill!” And it occurred to me recently how absolutely preposterous it is to assume that any old random aliens we come in contact with would 1.) have two biological sexes split up in exactly the same way as us with the same sort of obvious sexual dimorphism, and 2.) would have even a remotely similar concept of gender to us.
I could go on more about this later if you like, but right now I’m sleepy, and need to go to bed.
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himbeereule · 28 days
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there are only TWO genders MALE and FEMALE and if you have CANNONS you are MALE and if you have MACHINE GUNS you are FEMALE sorry LIBERALS but I didn't make the rules
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chillychive · 2 months
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I’ve never understood gender
I know that people who are solidly just one binary gender don’t go around thinking about 24/7 . I know their every action is not defined by their femininity or their masculinity.
Most women are comfortable calling themselves women. Not just comfortable-that feels natural to them. And most men feel comfortable and natural calling themselves men.
I’ve never understood that. I know gender is important to a lot of people. But for me, gender never fit. It was like putting on clothes that were too tight or too baggy, all they did was obscure my true form underneath.
People never seem to get that I want to be identified by my personhood, before my gender.
I suppose, if I had to put a name to it, I’m non-binary, trans, gender fluid, but at least to me those are all just ways of saying gendered.
It always just felt nonsensical to me to define someone, define me, by something that never factored into my self identity. 
There are so many passively gendered ways that we refer people and ourselves. Woman, girl, lady, ma’am, mom. Man, boy, sir, dad.
To me, I don’t want for my personhood to be defined by a gender. I don’t need to find an alternative. I am and always will be a person before a gender.
I know that, to many others, gender is a vital part of their self expression and identity. Gender is something that they have to go on a long journey to find, or some thing that they were lucky enough to be born with. Gender is something that makes them feel secure. Helps them find community. Plays a part in religious life. Is a joyous experience.
I’m so glad for those people. /gen
I don’t think I’m one of them. 
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jodjuya · 3 months
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i use it/its and it makes me much more euphoric than any other pronouns, it doesn't feel dehumanising to me at all. if you'd like to ask any questions to understand it/its better I'd be happy to answer them
Thank you for reaching out with this kind offer. I do want to understand it better, but I currently don't know what questions to ask. I'll think about it and get back to you. ❤️
I think the main thing I'm struggling to reconcile is that just because some people don't feel like it's a dehumanising pronoun, that doesn't mean it stops being one?
That is a good question, actually! How do you reconcile your euphoria with the historical/contemporary usage of "it" as an intentionally dehumanising pronoun, used to convey hatred and contempt? (Eg by white-supremacists & transphobes)
Like, a whole bunch of the feedback I've received for my bullshit has been along the lines of "your stance against it is the same as the stance transphobes take against 'they/them' pronouns! See how dumb you sound?"
When, like, the remedy for that is to accept the usage of a pronoun that those shitcunts very explicitly use as a hateful derogatory slur??
That seems like a pretty incoherent stance to take. "You're a bad person if you use the same type of argument that those assholes use, but you're also a bad person if you don't use the word that those assholes love using as part of their being-a-giant-asshole schtick!"
Like, ...what???
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This is a pretty bad question, but I can't think of how to distil it down to a better one: how/why does it not feel dehumanising to you, to use an object's pronoun rather than a person's pronoun?
I don't know the linguists' lingo for talking about these concepts so I can only do it very badly, but, like, I have the felt-sense of an utterly irreconcilable split betwixt [things] and [people]. [things] are not, and cannot be, [people]; and vice versa.
The edge-case exceptions being death: when a person becomes a corpse, transforming from [person] to [thing]; and gestation/infancy: when an embryo gradually transitions from [thing] to [person] over the second to forth trimesters.
(And, I guess, robots, wherein we project personhood onto them once they reach some close-enough level of complexity that the felt-sense of our perception of them tips from [thing?] to [person?] ??)
But you are not a corpse, robot, or embryo; so why do you feel affinity for the pronoun used for things?
Also, what is your gender? Why does 'it' feel more appropriate for you than the traditionally indeterminate pronoun 'they'? (Or one of the many neo-pronoun options out there?)
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dragon-phoenix-along · 6 months
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Oh gOD ITS HERE AGAIN
[Rabid scrambling]
[A shadowy creature appears from a bush]
[I start to stumble run, creature in pursuit]
I did not ask for this, I did not Ask For This, I Did Not As For This! I Did NOT Ask For This! I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS! I DID NOT ASK FOR-!
[I am dragged into an empty tree hollow, my screams of denial drift away slowly fading]
FATHER HELP
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biopanik · 8 months
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Not to be a huge bitch on main but the fact that most fanfiction is written by women and still is mostly derived of dude characters processing certain feelings sometimes really complicates things for me. How come this is a safe space for queer people, but wlw content is either sexualized or just random asf? Why is it that the angst tag is GOVERNED by mlm hurt/comfort? Why aren't there more female ocs and pre-existing characters going through severe emotional turmoil? Where is the portrayal of a violent psychic episode, why does it have to have a masculine form at all times? Where is the parent-daughter tag, the sisterhood tag, the complexity in the few stories that are tethered to it? Why does it feel like I'm a minority when I talk about how female writers in fanfiction repeat the same cycle of weak female characterisation, or a flawless one? I'm sick and tired of all the Mary Sues, the bland "badass bitch" archetype, the damsel in distress and the kuudere. I'm sick of wanting to comfort myself with something that I can fully resonate with and being met with a stock character or a well-written passage about some dude. I want girls in pain. I want girls being angry and hurtful to others and themselves. I want realism, but if regular media AND fan-made media keep failing me, why should I bother?
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audhdnight · 15 days
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It’s so odd to me that some people are like “you can love whoever you want, but I draw the line at changing your gender” as if sexuality and gender aren’t linked at all.
Like, I know a trans girl that was gay when she was a boy, but then she transitioned and found that she began to like women, and now exclusively loves women. I know a guy that thought he was bi when he identified as non-binary, then fully transitioned and discovered that he’s actually aromantic. I myself didn’t realize I was ace until I started questioning my gender, because I couldn’t differentiate between what people told me a crush would feel like, and gender envy.
Being a trans exclusive queer is just… so odd.
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sysmedsaresexist · 1 year
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This is either the BEST satire I've ever seen by the biggest troll on the internet, or... OMG send help
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sophieinwonderland · 6 months
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Friggin hate hate hate the way folks are just blatantly ignoring the lived realities of transphobia. Like this is literal transmedicalism and transmed rhetoric. Full stop.
The notion that you have to use the right language or else you don't face oppression is utter garbage. Fuck a lot of the transphobic legislation happening was sold as attacking Drag, which says nothing about a person's gender identity.
Like, apply any of this shit to singlets and it seems flatly obvious that it's transmed bs (at least I would hope so). Hell, wasn't the general explanation of transness "X trapped in a Y's body" up until the last like 5-10 years? I'd really like to see someone try to parse the difference between that and cis headmates in body's that don't match their gender.
This all just stinks of transmedicalism we've seen with our own two eyes. "You need to use my words or else you face zero of the same issues." Or "How dare you mention how you're affected by this, you don't even use the words I want you to use!" It's all so frustrating!
Anyways, thanks for staying strong! I thought your breakdown of your reasons for identifying as cis were really interesting and cool! Keep on being awesome! -Faye
Thank you Faye! 💖
That's a great point about the anti-drag laws, and it got me thinking about how a lot of transphobia and transphobic laws tend to rely on dog whistles to make them more appealing.
The far right doesn't say: "let's go take the rights of transgender people to use the bathroom that matches their gender."
They say: "we need to protect our daughters from men who will dress up as women to get into their bathrooms."
It's not exactly subtle but it leaves room for plausible deniability at least. It lets them say "we don't hate trans people, we just want to protect children."
Anti-trans rhetoric in many cases is masked as something else. It's not supposed to look transphobic and many of the people who lap it up or excuse it won't feel it is.
Anti-drag laws are sold as being against drag itself not trans people. Bathroom laws are sold as being against potential predators who may just be pretending to be trans.
What all of this boils down to is a form of transphobia that tries to look like it's actually against all of these other things and just happen to erode the rights of transgender people as it does. And because of this, actually calling yourself trans has very little to do with if you'd face discrimination or be impacted by transphobic laws.
I don't know why some people have such a hard time grasping that you can face discrimination and oppression even without using a certain label.
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d-parade · 1 year
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gender: not a social construct
there seems to be a misunderstanding between tucutes and transmeds. tucutes refer to “gender” as in stereotypes, roles, and expectations. these are socially constructed. yep sure, we know. no transmed is defying these as social constructs. however, just because you go against these social rules does NOT make you trans. not one bit.
but transmeds think of gender as in whether or not someone is a man or woman in their brain, while sex is defined as two categories separated by your reproductive functions.
why transmed arguments make zero sense to tucutes and they think we’re spouting nonsensical bullshit is because of this core misunderstanding. doesn’t help that tucutes keep spreading misinformation about us.
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hyggehooligan · 5 months
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Tonight's discourse
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fortheloveofpiggy · 4 months
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Instead of using intersex people as a gotcha by saying “trans is valid because intersex people exist which proves sex is incorrect” Instead use this “sex isn’t binary because what is seen as female and male is a social construct and there are actually many different combinations of chromosomes, hormones, genitalia, and other anatomy such as commonly seen in intersex people and because sex isn’t binary gender isn’t as well because gender shouldn’t be based on a already broken concept”
Not only are you more correct, but you also aren’t just using intersex people as your main argument. Sex isn’t binary
Love you!
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