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#I FORGOT IT HAS MIKE MYERS IN IT
brandnewhuman · 2 years
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Ayo, I heard you want to write more angst. (forgive me if this sounds loopy, I just got off a 14 hour shift)
I saw a clip from Invincible of Omniman saying "I love your mother but she's really more like a pet." and I thought that's probably how Michael Myers would feel about an s/o and then I reMEMBERED HOW RZ!MIKE TREATS HIS PETS. So how about a drabble of reader realizing they’re one mistake away from being just another rat flushed down the toilet? Or all the little details that add up to reader realizing they’re being kept?
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Not meant to matter
☆STARRING☆
☆rz michael myers☆
CONTENT:
Tw: canon violence, mature language, mentions of murder, blood, toxic relationship, Stockholm syndrome mention
Summary: where you figure out you're place in Michael's life and how easy is to replace it
A/n: AHAHAHAHHA YES. GIVE ME THE JUICY ANGST. THIS IS WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT. I love this shit so much it can't be healthy. You all spoil me so much with this requests. Im sorry if its shitty and it took so long ç-ç
Love is blind. The everlasting cliché you've heard countless times and the one you always used to swear to never fall for is true as every cliché in this world. The painful and tragic thing about it it's that nothing that has to do with cliché is as happy, silly and romantic as they made it seem. Love is blind doesn't help you overcome little annoying habits the person you love has, it doesn't make them look more pretty or their stupidity more bearable. It makes you justify them being awful, it puts a rose coloured filter over every important red flag and if something it's a shade too dark it just comes through as an aesthetically pleasing quirk because of trauma. 
Because of this you never realise how close you're standing to the fire until you're already catching on fire. 
That's what happened to you more or less, the line between being nice to survive and being nice because you love him started to blur. You couldn't really say when but one day you started to have more consideration for him than for his victims.
Maybe it was that weird sense of feeling special to someone so hard to please, maybe it was your tendency to always justify the villain and condemn the hero but in the end what matters is that even with a more logical and healthy choice you would still always choose Michael. You drank up every drop of affection he gave to you as if it was the only thing that makes you go on in life and he knew this. 
What you didn't know is that your new found love filled with a dangerous cliché was misleading you more than what you thought. You always kind of knew you loved Michael more than he loves you but the explanation was never a clear one, it was a sort of "he has only trouble expressing love" excuse. 
It wasn't only that. Your kind of love was a completely different one from what Michael's "love" for you was. Your clouded mind ignored the signs for so long that when you did realise it was like hitting the ground really hard and face first. 
You were just a..Well a pet. As dehumanising as it sounds that's what Michael sees you as and you couldn't be more upset. The worst part was that you still had that consideration and understanding. How can you be mad at him for loving you only as a sort of cute animal you take sympathy for? He has never been exposed to a more deep love, it's really much more than what you would've expected from him.
You tried to be mad but you couldn't cause everytime you looked at him with an accusing question about your relationship you only seemed to see a shell of a human that was trying to slowly get filled with things it was supposed to get long ago.
You had your epiphany one day you causally forgot who you were dealing with, where you thought it was a good idea to get all bold and loud with the shape of haddonfield. Michael was quick to remind you or better, to enlighten your place. 
"Michael! For christ sake!! You're hurt, you need to take the fuckin mask off" you were shaking and your throat was getting tighter tighter from the worry clawing at your heart.
It wasn't the first time Michael came back this hurt and bleeding out like hell but normally he didn't show it much. This time he got inside your house stumbling and holding one side of his head while red strikes slipped through his fingers. The loud noises and clashes of things falling down woke you up almost instantly.
You just assumed it was him coming back and making a mess as always so you took your time reaching him which you regretted as soon as you saw his tall form slouching and his free hand gripping to one of the kitchen chairs to find some sort of balance. 
He kept pushing you away, ignoring more than usual any attempt of you questioning what has happened to him and overall being really difficult and impossible to help. 
You were growing more and more impatient as tears teased the corners of your eyes. You knew it was something bad if he was showing he was in so much pain and the fact that he was keeping you at arm length like always was eating you alive from the inside, making every rational thought vanish. You just wanted him to be okay, you didn't want him to leave you behind and he just wanted his funny and silly pet to leave him lick his wounds alone and stop testing his patience.
"God dammit Michael this is not the fucking time to do your tough guy bullshit!! Let me s-" 
You could say it was both parties' fault, or at least that's how your brain was deciding to rule it.  You should've thought better than insinuating your hands to the back of his head to remove his mask and he well…he really just took the situation several levels above bad. 
It was so fast that it didn't even hurt at first, only when your fingertips met with the gash in your cheeks you felt a small jolt of pain running down from your face to your whole body. The cut wasn't really that big but it was quite deep since the swing from Michael's knife made his sharp tip slice briefly but deeply into your soft flesh. 
As you stood there wide eyed by fear and shock he just turned his back heading towards the door to probably go lay on the couch. He didn't even gave you as much as a reaction to gift you with the thought of him feeling bad for hurting you like that, he didn't even cared or noticed the colours drain from your skin as you trembled slightly thinking about what a few inches closer to him would have meant for your face and most importantly he didn't even stopped to think about it before using the knife against you making you get back to your old point of view as a victim. 
That's when it hit you, that's when you realised and the rose colored filter glitches showing you all the true and disgusting colours. 
Your brain was fuming as you tried to give a reason to all of this and the only place every thought went was to the same conclusion; you simply didn't matter as much as you thought. 
Every little upsetting thing started to fall into place precisely in a terrifying way. He has been humouring you enough to keep the advantages of allowing you to live and be around him, every little thing he did was never done because he cared or loved you. 
And you had to admit it made sense, it was easier to just let you live your little fantasy of being the special one the beast falls in love for just enough for him to get what he needs. It really was like keeping a pet but with more benefits. You cooked for him, you let him sleep under soft and warm blankets, you provided him a hiding spot from the world with all the comforts he has dreamed of. He could trust you would never call the police because of that little amount of attention he decided to give you from time to time and he knew it worked cause every day you did more for the sake of making him happy rather than keeping him calm. 
What he has done now was his way of "scolding". The only thing that moved the trajectory of the knife from your throat to your cheek was the thought of having to do all this work with someone else once you were dead. He couldn't say you didn't tickle a single ounce of weird softness in him but it wasn't the deep and genuine uninterested love you had for him. It was like watching a puppy doing funny things in front of you, while entertaining it's kind of pointless and gets boring really fast as soon as the puppy starts doing annoying things. 
You were just that, a puppy who was a mistake away from being removed from his life and you were perfect for the role since much like a puppy, you too were too naive and stupid for your own good.
That much stupid that even now, sitting on your knees and holding your cheeks while hot tears mixed with the blood of the cut, you still had some pink shades in your eyes making you think that this was just because he has never been shown how to love something. 
He, on the other hand, was having the half thought of checking on you just to make sure he didn't break the love spell he casted on you entirely with that risky move. 
You had to kick yourself mentally into remembering what has just happened to not let your brain just sink deeper into the possible Stockholm syndrome you were just starting to shake off. 
You covered your mouth with your hands trying to muffle the ugly sobs that were shaking your already trembling form. You didn't want to be quiet, you wanted to scream and hit him, you wanted to insult him with the worst and meanest things you could think of. You just wanted to explode and then you wanted him to hug you instead of hugging yourself, you wanted him to clean up your wound as carefully as possible with all the softness he's capable of as you have done so many times for him. You wanted him to tell you it was a mistake and that your mind was just trying to scare you off, you ultimately just wanted him to prove you wrong. 
What did you get? You got your shaking body laying on the kitchen floor, curled up on yourself as you hugged your knees to your chest and bit your lips while crying a whole ocean of sorrows and regrets. The cut had stopped bleeding moments ago and now it was starting to form what would be a reminder of your own stupidity for life. What you got was fulfilling your place as the boogeyman's pet while drowning in your own tears. 
The oppriment feeling of not being able to do anything about all of this was crushing your lungs and churning your guts painfully hard. You certainly couldn't act upon your desires of rage and request of love since you had already been shown what Michael does about his pet misbehaving and overstepping boundaries. You certainly couldn't keep on going like nothing has happened or nothing has changed cause everything now was too messed up for that, even if part of you wanted to just to fool you into thinking there's still hope you mean something for the man that was sitting on your couch in the other room. 
You didn't want to call the police either because the part of you that still loved him and needed him to love you back was bigger than the one that was hurting and angry because of all this bullshit. You couldn't simply do that to him, you didn't have that type of coldness to just mercilessly hurt him like that even if he deserved it. Besides, you knew perfectly well that the minute he was out calling the police was going to bite right back at you. 
You found yourself being considerate and understanding with his victims after a long time of ignoring and excusing their deaths. It was truly tiring and just…draining to know that whatever you do he's always going to get back at you 10 times worse. You didn't feel trapped, it was worse than that. It was him taking pieces of your life and of your heart one by one without making too much noise to not make you notice, just to leave you lifeless and ghost-like. existing without really being alive just for the sake of surviving. 
And then it came to you as if God itself has got down just to grace you with an answer to your problems. The painless end to all of this was just to leave and never come back, not even loon behind or otherwise he might learn how to find you and your beating and offensive heart everywhere. 
You got up from the floor slowly with a newfound resolution. It was very clear to you that this was never going to hurt or change Michael's life in any way so you kind of had to give up on your thoughts of revenge. Him realising, as if you were in a romantic movie, that he made a mistake and he needed you just to chase after you was never going to happen. It was more possible for him to chase you after realising that may be killing you was just as fun as keeping you. And maybe it was okay, you didn't need to hurt him you just wanted to live as alive as you could and not just as a shell without any other reason of living besides the hope of one day being loved by someone who didn't fucking care to begin with. 
By the time you reached your bedroom the whole situation and all those strong and intense emotions casted a wave of weariness all over you, weighing you down and just making everything so difficult. Now that all the most negative and heavy feelings had rolled off, you just felt like not a single one of the reasons for you to leave was really good. 
You never left in fact. You even felt bad for thinking it but you kept daydreaming about it once in a while and in your head everything was…better. In your mind he does care and he stops you from leaving every time, in your mind you do win his love and you have your big romantic movie main character moment where the bad guy keeps a soft spot for you in his heart. 
You couldn't really know it but he would've missed you a little bit if you really ended up leaving. You were right about everything and even about him not really knowing any better. 
Wearing rose coloured glasses around Michael ended up taking away from you more than what you could give and now it was truly too late to do anything about it. The addicting feeling of having maybe one day in your mind when asking yourself if he loves you was comparable to spending all your money in a slot machine, waiting with hope that if you give it more tries and more of you the result might change. 
You waited around for him to either love you or just kill you, giving you a way out you could take without feeling guilty about it. 
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Stranger Things Season 4 Volume 2 - REACTION + THOUGHTS
Holy fucking shit, everyone 😭 it was only two episodes and yet I feel drained, it took like 4+ hours to get through two damn episodes but I did it!
My reaction to Episodes 1-7 are HERE!
I wrote my thoughts in a notebook as I watched and I’ve elaborated more on those thoughts in this post below. Mostly it’s a lot of freaking out and fangirling though 😂
⚠️ There are HUGE spoilers below the read more so please read at your own risk! ⚠️
Episode 8 - Papa
Awww mini Eleven is so cute
She was so exhausted after sending Vecna to the beyond that she straight up passed out after
Not me getting triggered by showing 001 being tattooed again 🤧
The gang panicking to find music is so funny but also FIND THE MUSIC FFS
“I want you to tell Eleven… I want you to tell her everything you’ve seen… tell her everything” - oh shit, he didn’t kill Nancy 😮‍💨 but also yikes
Not the Russian demogorgan still alive???
Awww, Joyce patching Hopper up :3
“You’re the hero of Hawkins” - IM NOT CRYING, NOT YET 🤧
Hop asking after El and Joyce saying “she misses her dad” ❤️
“Umm I hate to interrupt” LMAO “but apparently they (the demogorgons) can climb too” … shit
WHY IS THERE ANOTHER ONE STRAPPED TO A TABLE BEING DISSECTED
Tell me the Russians have NOT been experimenting on the demo-creatures 😭💀 and what the hell is that swirling dust stuff???
Eleven’s powers are BACK! 😀
To be quite brutally honest, I forgot what the Cali crew were up to because they were just… there. Not really doing that much. :/
I’m not really digging Mike’s whole “what if she doesn’t need me anymore???”, let alone Will having to reassure him “of course she’ll need you” like… ?? Boys, hello???
OHHHH THE PAINTING
Awww is it based on DND?? Apparently El commissioned it, and Mike in the painting’s coat of arms is a heart because he’s the heart of the group or some shit?
Honestly not really here for Will’s painting/feelings being used to further the Mileven pairing :/
The way Jonathan was looking at Will and Mike, I thought he was thinking “yeah my brother’s got it bad”
“When you’re different, you feel like a mistake” - WILL BABY??? Again, it’s so obvious he’s gay and hiding it???
NOT WILL LOOKING OUT THE WINDOW AND CRYING, POOR BOY IS HEARTBROKEN (and at this point I’m starting to think that yes, in love with Mike)
Did sending Vecna through the portal cause Eleven’s speech and language to regress too??? Because I’m S1 she can barely speak and needs to be taught common words, whilst in flashbacks in S4 in the lab, she seems quite fluent?
Has this motherfucker Brenner been searching for 001 this whole time??? Is that what this is about???
Oh god not the autopsy photos 😭
“Your friends are in danger” - yeah but what else is new??? They’re in danger like every 6-12 months 💀
The clock has 4 chimes… which means 4 gates, 4 victims??? Shit, he’s one away???
Eleven using her powers to watch the Hawkins gang :’(
Nancy: We have to go back // Eddie: 🤦 NO
Robin calling him “Henry-slash-Vecna-slash-One” 😂
Because El is watching them, she’s in on their plan too now… interesting
Max: I draw his focus next to me - ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOT I CANNOT GO THROUGH THIS AGAIN
If Max fucking dies, I will be SO ANGRY
Yayyy Jopper + Murray + Dmitri made it out of the Russian base!
LMFAO at the van just smashing through the gate
Hopper protecting Joyce by wrapping his arms around her :3
Joyce saying “That plane crashed” and Hopper’s concerned “… crashed?!?”
Dmitri threatening Yuri lol
I like that at this point Steve is still not wearing a proper shirt 🥵
Eddie calling Max “red”
“You got a ski mask or a bandana?” - cut to Eddie wearing Max’s Michael Myers mask that she wore at Halloween in S2 😂
Eddie hot wiring a van
HE CALLED STEVE “big boy”, I’M-
Also Steve is STILL barefoot 😂
“Your friends are not prepared for this fight” - right, so maybe go and fucking help them????
Owens at least tried to let Eleven make a choice, Brenner is a dick
No but Steve talking about his dreams and saying in his dreams for his life, he wants 6 kids and to travel America on road trips with them 😭🤧 he would be such a great dad, I’m-
Nancy calling 6 kids “a nightmare” LMFAO SAME
“If only I had some practice” *gestures to the kids he’s always babysitting* 💀
Lucas making the Ms Kelly link and also wanting to find someone else - anyone else - so Max won’t be in danger
Max’s happiest memory involves Lucas, which makes me think it’s probably the Snow Ball dance when they got together?
Is that a helicopter?!! There’s no way that thing is carrying five adults from Russia to America???
“For me, she is still a virgin” - PLEASE DO NOT SAY THAT ABOUT THE HELICOPTER YURI
The War Zone store is like the size of an entire shopping mall :/
Ah, America… no one is questioning young teenagers like Erica, Max, etc buying guns and explosives
IS THAT VICKIE IN THE STORE 💀
WHAT DO YOU MEAN VICKIE HAS A BOYFRIEND AND SHE MADE OUT WITH HIM RIGHT THERE, FOR FUCK SAKE
Robin being heartbroken 😭
NAHHH WHY THE FUCK IS JASON AT THE GUN STORE, why are ALL OF THE BASKETBALL BROS THERE
Jason really needs to back the fuck off, and the scene where he’s talking to Nancy and putting his hands on her gun really proved that
Argyll saying Nina sounds like a “small woman” 😭 he ain’t wrong, “nina” is Spanish for little girl I think
Nahhh is Argyll STILL fucking high 💀
Getting REAL sick and tired of seeing military and army assholes
DID BRENNER CALL THEM, FUCKING DICK
“If my men hear you coming, they’ll kill him (Owens)” - BRENNER IS LITERALLY BLACKMAILING HER WHAT THE FUCK FUCK HIM
Eleven called him OUT and I love it
“You could not let him (001) go” “you are the monster” — SO TRUE
He injected her what the hell 💀
She should have just killed him tbh
“Is this legal?” “Actually, I think it’s a felony” — LMFAO
Eddie and Dustin play fighting and Eddie making Dustin promise “never change, promise me”… why do I feel like Eddie’s imparting some wisdom and is about to be killed…
“Even though you’re a bench riding loser, you’re still my brother” - awww Erica :3
Wait did Steve say Vickie’s boyfriend is a full ass college man 💀
“Not everyone has a happy ending” - ST writers are definitely trying to tell the fans to lower their expectations of happy endings for everyone 😭
“It might not work out for us this time” - FUCK. NO. NOPE.
Oh god did he put one of those collars on Eleven?!?
Not the shootout 🤦
Omg they shot Brenner and he dropped Eleven. Not gonna be sad if he dies tho, he low-key deserves it lmao
Owens saying he could put El in a coma and then if the killings stop they’ll know it’s her, but the gang is planning on taking down Vecna do the killings will stop??? And they’ll think it’s El???
Never mind, asshole army guy ordered them to kill Eleven anyway
EYYYY Cali gang FINALLY pulling their weight and going to the rescue!
Go on, Eleven! Bring it down! Knock the aircraft out the air!
I’m confused tho because I thought he collar subdued her powers but she’s still wearing it in this scene and straight up knocking a helicopter out of the sky???
The Mike and Eleven reunion was sweet but idk Will still feels like a third wheel even when he’s happy to see Eleven and he hugs her
Will crying with happiness at seeing El again and giving her a hug 😭❤️ love the brother-sister relationship
Brenner has a remote control to make the collar fall off???
“I’m proud of you” “you are my family” “my child” — yeah? Funny way of fucking showing it, mate
“Please tell me you understand” - and then she doesn’t say anything, just gets up and says “goodbye papa” 😅
Soooo… is he actually dead this time?
I’m so anxious for this plan, holy shit
THE MUSIC IS PHENOMONAL!!! (It’s Separate Ways (Worlds Apart) by Journey and Steve Perry, and it was in one of the trailers)
The chills I got at them approaching the Creel house again… ooh
Episode 9 - The Piggyback
Strap in, folks, this one is a whopping 2hrs and 20 minutes!
YURI JUST SABOTAGED THE HELICOPTER FUCK SAKE
Hopper and Joyce’s sexual tension is getting VERY obvious Jesus Christ
THEM CHANGING NEAR EACH OTHER AND JOYCE LOOKS OVER AND HE’S SHIRTLESS IM-
Lmao at her Hulk Hogan t shirt though
Hopper’s been dreaming about their Enzo date and starts listing the food, and then… “been dreaming about something else too”
IS IT HAPPENING
HOLY FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK I LITERALLY SCREAMED THEY KISSED HOLY FUCKING CHRIST
NOT THE PHONE INTERRUPTING THEM GETTING DOWN AND DIRTY
“You can be the hero, Steve” - yes but only if he survives 😇
I’ve got a horrible feeling about both Steve and Eddie, and I hope I’m wrong
To be fair to him, Jonathan is trying very hard to get plane tickets to Hawkins and I appreciate the effort
Soooo Eleven is going to go inside Max’s mind and protect her there? 🤔
*talking about how El needs a “bathtub”* Argyll: Yeah, gotta be clean to enter the mind — I FUCKING DIED LAUGHING
Hell yeah for the Kate Bush reappearing
Them writing notes so they won’t be overheard by Vecna on the other side is super smart actually
Not that dude seeing Erica and tipping the basketball team off 😤
Not Jason target practicing smh
Murray: “I see the mood here is bleak, and understandably so” LMFAO NO KIDDING
So those particles moving… means there’s a gate open?
Part of the hive mind is in Russia… where they’ve just escaped from 💀
Of course there’s another Surfer Boy Pizza shop, of course it’s a franchise
The amount of “dudes” in this one conversation LMFAO Even Jonathan was doing it 💀
Love that their prep involves cooking a pizza in the oven 😂
Also the sensory tank is in the newly emptied pizza freezer???
Robin panicking about getting lost is a whole ass mood frankly
“She’s a super klutz” - bless
Apparently Steve used to crawl backwards as a baby? “Always in reverse” (no joke I actually read a book about a boy who crawled backwards and did everything backwards because his mother and father met on a train that was travelling backwards???) (I looked it up; it’s called “Back To Front Benjy” by Dick King Smith)
He also apparently thumped his head as a baby o_o (Nancy: “explains so much” lol)
Steve calling himself confident but an idiot made me kinda sad, all this self reflection made me think he was gonna die 😭
Him thanking her for giving him “the biggest thump” of his life and discussing their relationship
I can’t believe he really said NANCY was the most important part of his dream… I am really not here for Steve/Nancy :/
LMAO at Robin ruining their moment 😂
Wait, where are the Russian guards?
… ohhh I think I know based on the sounds coming off that radio, my god
Ooh did Dmitri break through with Yuri and convince him to do the right thing? :O
Max writing “hi” and Lucas writing “hi :D” back
“I’m glad you’re here” - AWWWW
He asked her to a movie on Friday and she drew him a cute picture 🤧
Okay but WILL Vecna take the bait or not is the question?
Max taking her headphones off… Here we go.
I had a fleeting thought of what if he decides to take Lucas instead??? They’re expecting him to go for Max but Lucas is there too?!?
Mike made goggles out of pizza boxes, I’m-
Argyll interrupting Mileven to give them pizza!
Ewww okay so Eleven: she’s an 11 but she likes pineapple on pizza 🤢
“Do you remember that time you told me you had Lego stuck up your nose?” - I SPAT OUT MY COFFEE WHAT THE FUCK JONATHAN
“You used to come to me more for help” — aww :(
“I’ve been distanced-“ “Stoned.” - LOL
Aww Byers brothers sharing a hug :3 and Will getting emotional 🥹
“I love you: there is nothing in this world that will change that” - TELL ME THIS WOULD NOT BE JONATHAN’S REACTION TO WILL COMING OUT??? This should have at LEAST been a prompt for Will to come out to him maybe???
Eleven found Max!
… oh no. No, it’s not working??? Vecna isn’t taking the bait???
Max saying Vecna was right, Billy made her life hell, she would pray for something awful to happen to him… “I didn’t know if he deserved to be saved” OOF
“So now when I lie in bed at night, I pray something terrible will happen to me.” - MAX SWEETIE NO 😭
I KNEW AS SOON AS LUCAS STARTED SAYING BAD STUFF THAT IT WAS ACTUALLY VECNA
Oh gosh come on Eleven, save the day
We get to see a little Max memory of her skating
WHOOOO EDDIE SHREDDING THE ELECTRIC GUITAR
“Chrissy, this is for you” - I’M NOT OKAY
Demobats!!!!!
“Where are you going, Maxine?” Oh fuck no I’m out
NOT THE BILLY SAUNA DOOR THING
NOT THE BASKETBALL CREW HITTING AND HURTING ERICA FUCK THEM
Let me say it again, Eddie shred the FUCK outta that guitar solo
Max’s memory is the snow ball dance…
Dustin: “Most. Metal. EVERRRRR!” Bless
NOOOO the Russian glass cage things are broken?!?!
Sooo… monster got in, guards tried to stop it, gunfire shattered the tanks, others came alive :O Particles = The Shadow, which went into the monster(s)?
By the way, this whole plan of “hey, while Max distracts Vecna and probably gets herself killed, let’s sneak up into the attic in the upside down and stab/burn him while he’s in a trance” is fucking stupid 💀
Ohhhh that’s a LOT of vines on the floor
Robin worrying because she’s clumsy, she’ll tread on them, and Nancy holds her hand and says it’s okay??? RONANCY FANS RISE UP
“Shouldn’t you be playing with dolls?” “Should you bag your face?” YOUNG MAX IS A SAVAGE
Wait, the song from the Snow Ball (Every breath you take)?
I was singing along to that song and then I let out a scream because the balloon popped 💀
Speaking of balloons popping, what is this, Stephen King’s IT??? 🤡
Ohhh now the music’s changed to Dream a Little Dream of Me, which was playing in the Creel house and was what Victor was listening to
Well this took a sharp turn… the flowers are withering, blood is everywhere…
LET ERICA GO, FUCK 😤
Oh NO NOT JASON IN THE ATTIC
He thinks Lucas is doing some cult shit to Max (a la Hellfire Club)
JASON PUT THE FUCKIN GUN AWAY MAN
He wants Lucas to wake Max up or he’ll shoot???
“Or are we supposed to read your mind” lmao Murray
Nooo why does Hopper need to he demo-bait 😬
Not Joyce remembering Bob because Bob did exactly the same thing and she watched him die in front of her 😭
“I still got a date to make, remember?” “I am not having another funeral” - I CAN’T DEAL WITH THIS I WANT TO CRY
Awww now there’s a tender Jopper kiss in addition to the down and dirty one
The demobats are on the roof… they can’t get in, right?
OH WAIT YEP THEY CAN 🤧
Watching Steve/Robin/Nancy dodge the vines made me extremely anxious to be honest
NOOOOOOOO NOT ROBIN
NOT STEVE FUCK FUCK FUCK
AND ALSO NANCY TOO WHAT THE FUCK
(They’re not dead, just being strangled by vines inside the house)
I can’t do this, I’m not strong enough for this show 💀
Not the demodog chasing Hopper 😭 meanwhile the demobats are coming through the vent
Dustin climbed back through the portal and then Eddie cUT THE ROPE NOOOOOO
Eddie trying to buy more time 😭 don’t do it, Eddie, the town don’t deserve it
Somehow I don’t think barricading the door with fold up chairs is going to stop Vecna, Max lmao
Oh god that chiming is going to haunt my fucking nightmares
Vecna appearing behind Max definitely scared me, Jesus Christ
Nooooo leave Max alone!!!
Lucas trying to convince Jason but of course Jason is a toolbag and too far gone
“I never should have let you in the door” “and I never should have knocked” OH SHIT
Lucas called Jason a raging psychopath, which is quite accurate to be honest
Sinclair siblings once again kicking ass at the same time, we love to see it
WAIT DID JASON JUST BREAK THE MUSIC PLAYER
COME ON ELEVEN HELP MAX PLEASE
“Much braver than your brother” OOF OKAY VECNA JESUS
Oh no no no no he’s gonna do the thing-
ELEVEN YESSSSSS SHE SAVED MAX THANK GOD
V: You. // E: Hi. *throws him through a wall*
Dustin trying to jump back up into the ceiling portal using furniture and then he hurt his leg falling though :(
NOOO EDDIE NOW IS THE PERFECT TIME TO RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!
Jason needs to leave everyone alone smh what an ass
ElMax checking on each other :3
“Are you real? Did I make you?” “I’m real.” “How?” “I piggy-backed from a pizza freezer.” “… what?” — LMFAO
Oh of course Vecna is up again 😭
“If you touch her again, I’ll kill you again” — OOF GO OFF
Vecna is right though, technically she didn’t kill him before, just sent him through that portal 🤷🏻
Max really tried to run up behind Vecna and stab him when she was being noisy as fuck
Yeah no Eleven’s getting her ass beat in this fight I won’t lie
Goddammit now he’s attached El to the door with vines
NOT CHRISSY’S DEAD BODY IN THE BACKGROUND JUST CHILLING
Vecna has Max 😥😓😰
She told him Papa is dead and Vecna paused
“He is the monster, Henry. Not you.” OOF.
“He was just a man. An ordinary mediocre man.” - DAMN TRUE THO
“He did not make me into this. You did.” - … Vecna is telling the truth technically 😬
The flashback showing him exploring this “realm unspoilt by mankind” and it looks like a barren shit hole to me 😫
So the particle cloud… helped him become a predator???
THE MIND FLAYER??? And young Henry/Vecna’s drawing IDENTICAL to Will’s???
So has this all always been Vecna or…?
“Sought a means to open my own doors” (showing S3) - so was THAT Vecna????
I love the contrast of the red lighting in the Eleven/Vecna scene vs the blue in literally all the others but especially Lucas/Jason’s fight
NOOO NOT HOPPER IN THE SAME POSITION AS BOB IN S2
NO NO NO NO NO NO NONONONONONONONONO NOT EDDIE NOT EDDIE
Erica, come on girl! Jason is literally about to strangle Lucas to death!
“But now I just want you to watch” - oh shit
NOT MAX, LEAVE HER ALONE
Mike/Will/Jonathan/Argyll trying to wake Eleven up…
Will telling Mike he’s “the heart” and Mike saying “I love you” to El… I’m so tired. I’m so tired of Will’s obvious sexuality/crush being used to further a straight couple
Not Mike claiming his life was only meaningful after meeting Eleven 💀 and the flashbacks to the very first episode when they met, I’m so done with this
Wait, are the vines uncurling from around Eleven???
COME ON LUCAS PULL THROUGH
Noooo MAX’S ARMS AND LEG ARE DOING THE SNAPPY THING I CANNOT WATCH
Joyce rescuing Hopper by electrocuting that demodog 😥
OH SHIT THATS A DEMOGORGAN
TELL ME MAX IS OKAY NOW, RIGHT?!?
Murray kicking ass with the flamethrower!!!
Oh thank fuck Steve/Nancy/Robin are released and okay
Ewww not the squelchy noises when they all walk around 🤢
Well, Hopper, looks like shooting a demogorgan didn’t work…
IS THAT A FUCKING SWORD?!? HE GONNA FIGHT IT WITH A SWORD?!?
RoStAncy found Vecna - come on, guys, prove this plan wasn’t shit
“The beginning of the end” - eyyy it’s the season 4 tagline!
Not them playing Running Up That Hill again, I’m already a mess 💀
OH SHIT THEY’RE BURNING HIM
Oh wait no he’s up again, ROBIN THROW ANOTHER MOLOTOV PLEASE
NANCY SHOOT HIM OH MY GOD
HOPPER SLICED THAT DEMOGORGAN’S ARM CLEAN OFF
Oh sHIT NANCY ANNIHILATED HIM
Wait… what do you mean there’s still 40 FUCKING MINUTES TO GO?!?!
IS Max okay??? And Eddie???
NOPE EDDIE’S DYING FOR FUCK SAKE I’m so upset he was my favourite newbie 😭😭😭
“I didn’t run away this time, right?“ STOP IT RIGHT NOW
Eddie didn’t even get to graduate 😭🤧 this was supposed to be his year, I’m so upset-
NAH FUCK THIS SHOW FUCK IT
CALL AN AMBULANCE FOR MAX PLEASE I CAN’T LOSE HER AS WELL
No no no no I hate this, this is awful, she’s blind and can’t see and she’s so scared and she’s crying 😭
Max crying and panicking because “I can’t see, I’m so scared, I’m not ready to go, I want to go on” I’M SOBBING, NO, NO, NO, FUCK OFF RIGHT NOW
Lucas sobbing as she dies I can’t fucking STAND THIS FUCKING SHOW FUCK THIS
Four chimes… oh no. Oh no no no no NO.
AFTER ALL THAT, VECNA STILL WINS BECAUSE IT’S OPENING THE BIG GATE ANYWAY???
Karen and Little Holly 😭
Holy FUCK, Hawkins is actually well and truly FUCKED this time
… Is Eleven trying to bring Max back to life??? Is that even possible???
Not the ElMax flashbacks making me tear up again 😭
Don’t get my hopes up, I can’t take it if my hopes are raised and smashed down again
Cut to black and… two days later??? Excuse me??? WHt the fuck happened???
Ohhh that’s a lot of cars leaving Hawkins
Oh shit the smoke coming off of Hawkins?!?!
So they’re saying it was this ridiculously traumatic earthquake???
Not them all believing it’s Hellfire’s fault still :/ and that Eddie is still guilty, fuck this town-
“Doorway into hell” - oof, that’s one way to put it I guess
Eyyy Mike finally reuniting with his family and Will reuniting with his friends, and Jancy seeing each other too!!
“You can forget about college” - LMFAO
Okay, now why is Lucas at the hospital??? Again, do NOT get my hopes up!
Wait, is Max in a coma????
Lucas reading to Max 😭
I can’t get over Lucas and Eleven hugging?!! They’ve come so far since S1 when he hated her 😭
They don’t know if Max will wake up or why she hasn’t yet :( they’re saying she died for like a minute but then a miracle (Eleven) happened
Eleven holding Max’s hand and telling her “I’m here” :’(
Nancy and the others are donating their stuff because of the disaster, that makes sense
I love how ready Steve and Robin are to help 🤧❤️
Vickie?!?! Oh that’s awkward… I love Amybeth tho
“Was my boyfriend” — ohhh aye? 👀
Her saying she should have dumped him for disliking “fast times” lmfao
“It’s like my mouth is running faster than my brain” - oh her and Robin are so suited to each other
Listen… Vickie could still be bisexual, okay, just because she dated a guy it doesn’t mean she can’t date girls 🤷🏻
I hate that people have been graffiti-ing Eddie’s missing poster 😭
Dustin has Eddie’s guitar pick neck chain 🥺
I feel so bad for Eddie’s uncle 😢
When Dustin started crying over Eddie and telling Eddie’s uncle that Eddie was a hero, I lost it
“He fought and died to protect this town that hated him” - I CAN’T 😭 Eddie deserved so much fucking better
Hopper’s cabin???
Jonathan: *pointing to massive gaping hole in ceiling* Well, that’s a bit of a problem — 😂😂😂😂
Aww they’re fixing up the cabin :3
Argyll gathering mushrooms 🤣
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there.” “I’m actually kinda glad you weren’t… I mean, that you were with Mike” - suuure, Nancy -_-
Why did I feel like they were about to go on a break during this scene 💀
Nancy saying Steve’s grown quite a bit as a person… true but girl seriously
“Are we okay?” “… yeah.” — Nancy, you did NOT sound very sure
Oof Jonathan had the perfect opportunity to tell Nancy about his plans for college but he didn’t :/
Will knowing 001 isn’t dead because he can feel him hurting… o_0
So will Vecna be in S5, and if so will his first target be Will because lord knows that boy has a LOT of trauma to feed off of
Is that coke bottle from when El and Max played spin the bottle in S3? That feels like so long ago now 😭
So apparently Eleven couldn’t find Max in that mindscape/black area thing? (I don’t know what to call it, I’m sorry 😭)
IT’S HOPPER, A FATHER DAUGHTER REUNION IM CRYING ALL OVER AGAIN OH MY GOD
She kept the door open 3 inches always and never stopped believing 😭😭😭😭
“Your hair…” “My hair? Your hair!” - THEY BOTH LOST THEIR HAIR IM SO-
“I kinda stole your look, kid, what you think?” “Bitching” - 😭❤️
JOYCE AND EL REUNITING ❤️
I do wonder if the Hoppers and Byers will be one big family now because Jopper is a thing 🤔🙂
Oh no… no, not the Will Neck Tingle™️
Oh damn, it went from sunny to overcast VERY quickly
It’s snowing??? It’s spring break so it shouldn’t be snowing???
Plants rotting/dying… ash in the sky I think? (So is it ash or is it snow?)
Joyce and Hopper holding hands 🥺
SHIT, THAT’S WHERE THEY END THIS SEASON, ON THAT CLIFFHANGER
SEASON 5 WHEN?!?!?
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the-firebird69 · 2 years
Text
Going to take care of this little problem you have across the street is popping his head up and down doesn't think anybody can shoot him I forgot to bring you to jail Brian send Michael Myers or Jason Voorhees after you how's that sound get it and get rid of you no I'm supposed to kill you this my job.
I'm putting a number on you bjA do you know what that means. Good
We have a lot of things to do I want to handled got a team sending them. I'll cook you there BJ going to kill you get it
Morning everybody take his stuff take those areas down set castles in them
Zues Hera
I'm putting five castles in BJ areas also taking over 20 BJ's warehouses that failed right now.
Frank Castle Hardcastle
I have the other thing taken care of I'm going after his idiots right now the others left in this moron wants to take over.
Thor Freya you don't have time to entertain you BGA we are just going get rid of you
I'm finally charges just always messing with your device trying to piggie back all sorts of things. We're also fine charges on him for a grand larceny and stealing the things as a matter of fact we're going to open that suit up in Utah and the two idiots, bja and Jenna. I'm going to file charges for their attempted homicides to and they're involvement with Dee and Arnie passing and put it in the pipe so it starts this morning and we're moving to take all their assets here and overseas personal assets. Lawsuit in Utah is over I will what you say it doesn't exist that's why I assuming you it's the one Ron and Mike took but you said it doesn't exist and one of the other night cuz president biden and he has the document and still sealed. And we're going to see you here for what you doing now I'm going to file it this morning. Here in punta Gorda circuit Court and I'm going to sue you for stocking him. We know what you're doing too I'm going to sue you for that. But basically we're going to sue you for the will and here we're going to place warrants in APB on you for crime so you're committing here and on our son too the way you talk to him it's not legal you're committing a crime on purpose. You trying to get my rate on purpose in order to subdue him a kidnapping some filing attempted kidnapping charges right now. lawsuit for what you're doing in Port Charlotte, I really have one and we won and you didn't deliver the money that's what the lawsuits for and you can go to jail for not paying so I'm going to do that to all of them because of you furthermore I'm suing you for real right now laugh all you like squirt ok
Bitol and Goddess Wife we thank you for typing up the name usually it comes out wrong because of this idiot across the street and we're going to sue him for messing with your device he messes with it all the time
We're up in arms about it the idiot called attention to it so we know what to do
His are at the gate going to use them and abuse them and delete them let's given us no Choice. Going to clear him out of Australia. Nobody's in New Zealand. We said that action now. Begin pulling his businesses out and to the new castles and castles in this areas
Thor Freya
All is convincing right now I'll see you in court BJ
Olympus
All for that huh all it says what I'm trying certainly see something people don't give it all
Bja
You really are seeing it you are no we haven't done anything yet stupid just sit back and enjoy the fruits of being really stupid which is what you are
0 notes
sealinne · 4 years
Video
“Karl Heinz, you are beautiful and angular… and if you were a gas, youd be inert.”
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teawaffles · 3 years
Text
The Fugitives from the Fire: Chapter 5, Part 2
“Hey, madam innkeeper: where would you normally have been in the building?”
“……Since when did you get in charge of the investigation?”
As Sherlock took the lead, it seemed Gregson was displeased, but also no longer in the mood to put up a fight.
Hillary sniffed.
“I was always at the reception desk. I’m the only one managing the inn; I don’t have a single employee.”
“In that case, do you remember when these three men came to book their rooms? Or rather, at the time, had there been anyone with burns on their face?”
Sherlock was now diverting the conversation away from the case, instead attempting to verify if there were eyewitness accounts of the other fugitive. However, Gregson responded in a low voice.
“Holmes: it’s not going to work. We also tried asking her when we arrived at the scene back then, but it seems she has a strange policy of protecting her guests’ privacy, so she doesn’t check her guests’ appearances and such too closely.”
It seemed Hillary had heard him whispering, for she spoke up in defiance.
“You know, these parts are full of people with something to hide. I always make sure they pay up, but I don’t do such tactless things as staring people in the face.”
“Tactful, eh……”
Even Sherlock couldn’t stop himself; he cracked a wry grin. He didn’t know if it was an unwritten rule of the slums, but the innkeeper’s response was certainly a little too risky.
Nevertheless, at this point, there was nothing to be gained from laying blame on her. Sherlock continued.
“In that case, when the fire started, were you also at the reception?”
“That’s right. I wanted to stay there until the fire was contained, but a bunch of bobbies dragged me out at the very last moment.”
It seemed the lady possessed a truly dauntless spirit, so much so she had been willing to go down with her inn. That elicited something close to admiration within Sherlock, and he looked over the suspects.
“You mentioned ‘the very last moment’… That means you stayed at the reception until everyone had escaped?”
“Indeed: as the landlady, I have to ensure my guests are safe. Besides these guys, I definitely saw the ones from rooms 102 and 201 escape out the front door.”
“You’re indeed the epitome of a host.”
In his mind, Sherlock added this new piece of information on the guests’ rooms.
Excluding the murder victim, there had been five guests in total.
On the ground floor, rooms 101 (Jerry Dorff) and 102 had been occupied.
On the first floor, rooms 201 and 203 (Mike Myers).
Then on the second floor, room 301 (Bruno Campbell).
As he gathered the respective locations of the guests, the proprietress spoke up.
“Oh yes — earlier, everyone was talking about who had the chance to go up to the second floor, right? You’ll have to rule out Mr Jerry over there: for some reason, he immediately ran outside when the fire began. He seemed the very picture of alarm.”
“Hmm; this man, panicked?”
As far as he was concerned, people were free to run away in any manner they liked. But the gap between that and the taciturn, mysterious man before them made even Sherlock’s expression soften. It seemed Jerry had been strangely embarrassed by that reaction, deliberately clearing his throat.
Then, the detective turned to Gregson.
“Come to think of it, when you were going back upstairs, did you go past anyone? There must’ve been people rushing to escape.”
“I remember that: I passed by Bruno, Mike, and one other guest on the stairs. But is that important somehow?”
“If the killer had been among them, then he must’ve murdered the victim in the short period between the time you went downstairs to check the situation, and the time you returned to the second floor.”
Gregson groaned. “……Of course, that interval feels way too short. It didn’t even take me 30 seconds to go downstairs and back up again. So, that means……”
The locations of the suspects’ rooms. The escape route. The span of time until the victim had been murdered. Putting together all the clues they’d gathered by questioning the people involved, a single answer surfaced of its own accord.
“——It’s impossible for the killer to have gone upstairs and murdered him.”
Sherlock sounded as if he were pronouncing a judgement. Then, Gregson finally got his head around it — just like what a detective’s assistant would’ve done.
——“In that case, how did he murder the man in the room?”
“T-Then, the man in the room — how was he murdered……?”
Once again, the John in his imagination overlapped with Gregson. In theory, this ‘riddle’ had turned into something impossible to solve, and the assistant inspector was wracked with an anguish akin to agony.
However, that was a tale that only applied to ordinary people.
With his singularly transcendent powers of deduction, the consulting detective had already narrowed down two answers to this case.
Truthfully, right now, he could proceed to the solution right away. But for some reason, he didn’t want to do that. Surely, the reason why he was investigating the truth like this, was because he saw the figure of the man before him strenuously racking his brains.
As Gregson continued to despair, Sherlock Holmes placed a hand on his back.
“Gregson, do you have a moment?”
“……What do you want?”
He looked exhausted — but that was a weariness born from his own sense of responsibility, and even Sherlock refused to take a jibe at him now.
Gregson was shouldering a duty as a police inspector, so the detective resolved to use a little discretion.
“I want to talk to you outside for a bit.”
“…………”
Sherlock had said so in a serious tone, and Gregson didn’t put up a fight.
✦ ✦ ✦ ✦
Once they left the inn, an unnerving oppressiveness made their skin prickle: clearly, the locals’ anger had only intensified. Lestrade was trying his best to negotiate with and conciliate them, but it wouldn’t be long before their frustration boiled over.
Yet, even as they were caught in this race against time, Sherlock remained unhurried. On the streets to which filth clung here and there, he began to speak as if they were simply having a chat.
“First off, from the conversation earlier, we’ve eliminated the possibility that the culprit went to room 303 and killed him. As such, we have to consider a different tack.”
“A different tack?”
“What I mean is, the idea that he didn’t attack from the door — rather, the window.”
Sherlock proposed the theory he’d thought up at the start: that the man had been shot from the window. With this idea, they could break free of the ‘riddle’ created by the locked room — the murderer could kill the victim even without going all the way to the second floor.
However, Gregson shrugged in amazement, and explained in an indifferent tone.
“This might dispute the deduction you’re so proud of, but we did look into that as well. Firstly, for this method to work, there must’ve been two men in total: one to start the fire at the inn, and the other to shoot the victim from outside. But hiring another collaborator to silence an accomplice, or settle a falling-out, brings its own share of danger. In addition, in order to shoot his victim, a gunman would minimally have to be at the same height as him. There’s a brothel across the street from the inn, facing its north wall, and with three floors to boot, it fits the bill. But at the time of the murder, there’d been people on its second floor, and no one testified that they heard a gunshot. Hence, that explanation has to be rejected.”
Unusually, the inspector had discussed his view without a hint of his usual thorny attitude.
But Sherlock was adamant. “If that’s the case, then——”
——“If that’s the case, then how about something like this? Sherlock.”
His partner’s voice resounded through his mind. Now, the detective persisted in playing the role of an assistant, raising another idea to the inspector.
“From the street beside the inn, he could’ve aimed at room 303’s window and shot the victim. With that, he wouldn’t have raised suspicions among the people in the brothel.”
“……That’s rather cliché. There were officers outside the inn, so if there’d been someone with a gun outside, they would’ve arrested him long ago. Moreover, the victim collapsed a step away from the room door. If he’d been shot from the window, he would’ve lain there still. Even if he had then used the last of his strength to crawl all the way to the door, with that level of blood loss, it’d be strange that there hadn’t been a trail of blood leading from the window. As I said earlier, as far as I could tell through the keyhole, I didn’t see any marks like that.”
The inspector calmly refuted his theory, and Sherlock made the same troubled face as John always did.
——Then and there, he eliminated one of his two suppositions, and completely saw through the ‘riddle’ of this case.
“Is that so? Then I’m completely at a loss here.”
“Hmm, what’s gotten into you since earlier? ……You kept making deductions that were quite unlike you.”
Gregson had casually said something that, deep down, revealed a glimpse of his recognition of the detective’s ability. Unwittingly, Sherlock broke into a gentle smile.
But just as quickly, he replaced it with the troubled expression required of the fool he was playing. Sherlock put both hands behind his head, and looked up at the sky.
“Hey, Gregson. Somehow, we’ve been talking over and over and getting nowhere; so for a change of pace, how about a quiz?”
“Huh? You purposely brought me all the way outside, for a quiz?!”
Gregson frowned, but Sherlock continued without a care.
“Let’s say there are two children, A and B, and they’re friends. One day, the two of them play catch at a distance of about 20 steps away from one another. But although A can throw the ball to B, B can’t throw it back to A. Why is that so? In case you were wondering, the two of them have the same strength.”
“……Hmm.”
Gregson forgot about his complaints for a moment, and pondered.
“Did B sprain his shoulder?”
“In a quiz like this, that kind of reasoning’s rubbish, isn’t it?”
“There’s a wall between them.”
“Then A couldn’t have thrown the ball over.”
“……Another kid suddenly appeared and stole the ball.”
“You’re being a little careless, aren’t ya?”
It was unclear what the intention behind this quiz was, and to top it off, Sherlock had rejected every one of his answers. At last, Gregson raised his voice.
“Dammit, just tell me the answer already! Also, what’s the point of a quiz like this?!”
“Come on, now,” Sherlock parried. “I’ll give you a hint: for example, try looking at this building here.”
“Hmm……”
The detective pointed to the inn they had just stepped out of. Coincidentally, just like the one that had burnt down, this building also had three floors.
“What about it?”
“Man, you’re still as slow as ever. Look……”
Sherlock pointed to a window on the upper floors, and moved his finger between that and the window below it a few times.
Watching that action, Gregson seemed to have arrived at the answer himself.
“I see. So the children were standing on the upper and lower floors respectively, and leaning out the windows to throw the ball? Although it could be thrown from the floor above to the one below, it would be difficult to throw the ball back up in the other direction. That’s to say, the distance of 20 steps was not lengthwise, but vertical——”
Right then, as if a bolt of electricity had coursed through him, Gregson twitched. His hand shot to his chin; sinking deep into thought, he remained absolutely motionless, with only his lips piecing fragments together into clues.
“There’s only one way…… To be able to kill without going upstairs…… In that case, the position of the body…… And it ending up as a locked room…… But, such an extraordinary method –– is it even possible?”
At his final question, Sherlock grinned.
“I don’t have the foggiest idea what you just thought of…… But when you’ve eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.” [1]
“………!”
Gregson looked at the detective, standing boldly where he was.
Whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.
That was what he’d always maintained.
A suicide, or an accident. Pretending to be dead. Entering the room and murdering him. A sniper shot from the window. After carefully pursuing all lines of thought, in the end, only this solution remained.
In that case, it had to be the truth.
Could it be, that he’d started this entire conversation in order to guide him here……?
“……Hmph.”
At that thought, Assistant Inspector Gregson reassumed his usual, haughty attitude: the manner of a police inspector who saw the detective as his enemy.
“Let’s go, Holmes. I’ll tell you what I’ve deduced.”
——This is my case.
As Gregson strode away triumphantly, Sherlock chuckled.
T/N: Sherlock has grown so much..! (my /heart/)
Footnotes:
[1] A quote from Chapter 6 of the Sherlock Holmes novel The Sign of the Four, by Arthur Conan Doyle. (Wikipedia)
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j0hn-deacons-perm · 3 years
Text
I’ve been reading Is This the Real Life: the Untold Story of Queen and some things in this...
-Brian and Roger got into it after a show one time and Roger just went in with hairspray in Bri’s face
-Freddie met with a group of people in tight satin pants and couldn’t sit down so he looked around and tried to not attract attention to himself while undoing them
-Freddie was also so exhausted during their US tour at one point he just completely passed out, face in his breakfast
-Roger chose the shirt Fred wanted to wear for their first Rainbow show so he stormed off during soundcheck and brian begged for him to come back
-Also during their first US tour, Brian got himself a love affair in New Orleans and had to be rushed back to the UK after waking up in New York with full blown hepatitis due to a vaccine he received earlier in the year.. Freddie got herpes apparently? Icons.
-Freddie kept up with visiting Brian in the hospital while they worked on Sheer Heart Attack since homeboy had an operation after he was cleared for his hepatitis bed rest then had an ulcer shortly after.
-Roger didn’t like his hair in the cover photo for Sheer Heart Attack so they added extensions in the final photo. 
-Years after them leaving Trident, John was met with a former employee who recognized him at an airport and just completely shut him down. We love a king who knows his worth.
Edit #1 since I’ve read a bit more...
-Brian would somewhat irritate the person making coffee and tea. “...and then I’d ask Brian what he wanted. Then there’d be this pause and then he’d ask ‘How many teas are you making? How many coffees?...Two?...Three? Is it easier for you to make another coffee or another tea?’ You could spend 10 minutes just doing this. He was trying to make it easier for me, but in the end I’d be like, ‘Brian! Just tell me what you want!’”
-Bri thought Death on Two Legs was too mean and felt bad singing it.
-Freddie shutting down homophobes in the audience by shining the spot light on them and asking them to repeat what they said.
-Freddie didn’t believe the gold disc for a Night at the Opera was the album so he broke it open to play it and it was indeed their album. He was suspicious of EMI after everything at Trident which, I mean, valid.
-Mary out here recognizing her and Fred’s relationship was crumbling, accepted it and hugged him when he came out. We love a good support system.
-When in Australia, they had to go on foot to their venue due to a festival taking place. No cars could pass. But Freddie being extra, he was driven through in a limo while drinking champagne.
Edit #2
-Fred was being driven to the studio and they crashed so he went to a nearby house to use their phone...in a silk kimono with Queen written on the back...almost dressed in full stage attire. They let him in, made him tea and chatted.
-During their show at Maple Leaf Gardens in Toronto, Brian’s amp exploded and he ran over to tell Freddie but it was in his mic pretty much so everyone heard him panicing. Fred waved Bri away saying “Oh, just jump around a bit and the silly bastards won’t know the difference!”
-If Fred walked somewhere, a car would follow him with the door open in case he got tired. This boy is so extra I swear to god....
-I ALMOST FORGOT!! They had clocks as promo items for News of the World and they sounded kind of fancy so I looked it up and.....
Tumblr media
Bitch...I low-key want one.
Edit #3
-That feeling when Roger could not confirm but didn’t doubt there being dwarves with cocaine at the Jazz debut party.
-In Munich recording the Game, the boys would split off to do their own thing after recording for the day. Freddie would explore the gay club scene while the others got drinks, dinner and a club then would meet back up with Freddie at the hotel. Taylor’s suite (not sure if it’s Roger or Crystal tbh) was the HH....the hetero hangout and Freddie’s was the PPP...the Presidential Pouff Parlour.
-John was nicknamed Ostrich because ‘He’s was like a bird who stays quiet until it finally lays a perfect egg.’ Kinda wish there was more about John in this book tbh
-the author really out here typing Deakey....unbelievable. Either Deacy or Deaky, binch. Come on.
-According to Crystal, Roger had his drum case be a close up of his face in case he had amnesia and needed to know what he looked like but we all know the truth, Rog 👀
-During a late night drinking sesh, one of the crew put on the Flash Gordon soundtrack and John, shit faced, asked who it was.
Edit #4
-Apprently Cool Cat was the first song written for/on Hot Space and Brian wasn’t a huge fan of it or Back Chat because it wasn’t heavy enough. Adding onto that, Staying Power and Body Language were thought to be too gay and Bri wanted things to be for everyone of different persuasions. Brian....let the gays have something.
-With the Works and Hot Space being my top two Queen albums...I was disappointed how much was just blown over with the recording process tbh.
-Paul Prenter was a massive cunt but everyone knows that.
-John was busted after a Phil Collins concert because he was drunk driving. He was driving his new Porsche but then got his license suspended for a year. Brian was a guest DJ for a radio show where he played Stevie Wonder’s Don’t Drive Drunk and dedicated the song to “John, whom some of you may know has had a little problem with his car recently.’
-Freddie’s pick up line for Jim was ‘how big is your dick’....I mean, in a way, it worked??? Iconic.
-Roger owned up to having their sound guy set false sound limits for the groups before them during Live Aid so when Queen went on, they were the loudest.
Edit #5, the last one since I finished the book
-Paul Prenter should have had someone kick him in the shins tbh fuck that guy
-Brian met Anita through a Eastenders event and he was gushing about how much he loved the show since Chrissie had him watch it then invited her to Wembley which she turned him down.
-Also fast forward to the later half of the 90′s, Anita helped Brian get into therapy for his depression and other emotional matters. We love a supportive queen.
-When the book finally talks more about John and it’s him saying the We Will Rock You musical sucked and he having an affair with a 25 year old erotic dancer like come on my dude....why couldn’t I be her??? But for real, I looked into it and found an article and wowza. When sd!Deaky be an actual thing????
-The press’ harassment of Freddie and his inner circle during his last years is absolutely horrendous to read about tbh. I think it was Roger (feel free to correct me on that if I’m wrong) who crashed his car because the camera flashes temporarily blinded him when he was trying to visit Freddie.
-Also Freddie was able to see the Bohemian Rhapsody clip from Wanye’s World since Mike Myers sent him a tape. Bri and Fred watched it and according to Brian, Freddie loved it and sent his seal of approval.
There’s the things I found interesting reading this biography. If you’ve read it or have any other fun facts, add them on my dudes!
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adultswim2021 · 2 years
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Robot Chicken #19: “That Hurts Me” | July 11, 2005 – 12:00AM | S01E19
I only have two hours to finish this blog from scratch! So I’m gonna BLAZE through this, if I can help it. I am also BLAZED on marijuana, which is when I am so creative. My ideas are going to be off the charts in this one.
First is a baffling Godzilla 1998 remake (a remake of a remake? HOW IN THE WORLD? Who has ever heard of such a thing!) but with dancing added and I guess it was done on purpose to get in trouble with making a movie have dancing in it. That is the idea. You make a movie that has dancing in it and a guy yells at you for it. “You’re not supposed to put dancing in stuff!! AAAUUGH YOUR FIRED!” If it happened to me, I’d kill myself! 
There’s a thing where monkeys are Batman, and they have their own jungle-made Arkham Asylum and stuff. All the stuff looks like monkeys made it, you know? There’s a bank where you use turds and bananas for currency, I think? There’s no twist, which I respect: It’s just a concept played out for nor reason other than a creative exercise. This might be my favorite sketch yet. I like when the monkey drinks his own pee. I saw that and thought “I will probably not be able to focus on reviewing the episode because I’ll keep thinking about that  monkey drinking pee”. I was right.
Big Brother with scary guys (Jason, Scream Mask, Leatherface, Pinhead, F. Kruger, maybe another guy I’m forgetting). This one is kinda okay. I guess I like gags about scary guys. The end twist is that Michael Meyers (it was him, he’s the one I forgot earlier) is actually Mike Myers under that mask and he does bad Austin Powers voice to the point where I didn’t get who it was supposed to be at first. It was Mike Myers.
This one is “okay” in that I didn’t get mad at any of it.
Oh yeah the Crazy Davey sketch was pretty good, too. But the care bears sketch sucked
CONTACTING GHOST PLANET...
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Space Ghost Coast to Coast #16: “Sleeper” | July 28, 1995 | S02E06
Space Ghost gets increasingly Larry Sanders-esque with a cold open where Space Ghost, Zorak, and Moltar recite poetry to each other, an underrated activity among friends. If you haven’t done it, I suggest trying it for your next get together. Just google “jew poems” and print a bunch out and take turns reading them in your best voice
This one has a first guest name of “Hulk Hogan”, who might be my favorite actor to have ever lived. Every time he acts he is the best part of any movie. We prove this here, where we cut back and forth between weird snippets taken out of context of Hulk being “in character” and a few unguarded moments. Hulk seems to really be laying it on G-Rated-Kids-Movie thick. That’s why Hulk Still Rules. I applaud Space Ghost for making him look dumb though because I’m an “anti” kinda guy.
And hoo boy, this might be one of the best “throw to commercial”/”back from commercial” combos ever. We go to commercial with the image of Hulk and Space Ghost posing, flexing for the camera, when their heads inexplicably switch with one another. It’s so fucking stupid and funny. I don’t know why. Then back from commercial we have Moltar who I’m pretty sure is just Clay Croker NOT doing the Moltar voice but pitched down to sound like he is, saying this bit, which I used to be able to recite off the top of my head (thanks snard for the transcript):
Moltar: (to Space Ghost) Originally, they used to say, "Couples skate next - two girls may not skate together." And then like a couple years later they'd say, "Couples skate - two girls may not skate together. Two boys may not skate together." But they'd say it like, "Who'd've figured! Two boys may not skate together?!"
It’s one of my favorite bits from the show ever. I love it so much.
Next guest is the scary hairy musician Slash, who seems legit pissed off, and is like asking to leave the interview and stuff and moaning about how much it sucks. It’s also very funny! They just included all the footage of him melting down. This is maybe one of the most mean-spirited Space Ghost’s ever made. I love shit like this so much. It’s so... punk.
Lucky for you, HBOMax includes the FULL version of the episode, with the post-credits/post-title stinger in tact! Go check it out! You’ll get to see it complete with HBOMax’s autoplay menu completely obscuring it. Isn’t that so much fun?
MAIL BAG:
Don’t you agree with me that is nice to answer mail
Kinda funny in a morbid way: andy merrill jumps around like an idiot for a spot on  America's Funniest Videos and Bob Saget dies a tragic death a few days ago...
AH! but I do not find it strange or even queer in the slightest! IT is all part of g-ds plan! Respect me in THIS HOUSE
I've never smoked weed anymore. I'm too young. Is it scary? Weird? Fun? I have no idea and maybe never will since it's illegal in my state.
Lol, heh, hey kid... let me show you the ropes :SUNGLASSES yeah it’s scary
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stone-man-warrior · 4 years
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June 28, 2020: 7:35 pm:
June 28, 2020: 6:33 pm:
I just returned from shopping in Dystopia, Grants Pass Oregon, which will soon be famous as the place where Donald Trump was killed while attacking a US Citizen with a sword on June 15, 2020 at about 4:30 pm. I went to: 6th Street Market
Walmart
Again to Walmart (forgot something, went back)
Burger King
On the way to the shopping, the usual terror scouts were on Three Pines Road, gaining knowledge of my position. On Jackpine was what looked like Mark Cobb's 50th anniversary Ford Thunderbird disguised with a new bumper and some paint disguising. Cobb is a terror soldier I have known for many years, he rented the house I am living in from me in the past. He and his wife Kayla Cobb are a “Mating Pair SDA terror team”. The significance of that Ford Thunderbird includes Twitter. https://twitter.com/ReutersUK/status/1277324648359899136
https://twitter.com/ReutersUK/status/1277291963260207104
https://twitter.com/60Minutes/status/1277383957403836423
https://twitter.com/60Minutes/status/1277380150896873473
https://twitter.com/CBSNews/status/1277349805132414977
At least one of those Tweets in association with others that I cannot find right now, are about that 50th Anniversary Thunderbird, and my 1959  Ford Thunderbird that the terror army is using to fool the National Securty people with in ways that I am not aware of, I only know that the two Ford Thunderbird's present an opportunity of fooling helpful people who refuse to do their own research, and rely on the terror government officials in Oregon to spoon feed them all the bullshit information they need, to choke on. The details are complicated, so, the Twitter links are there for reference in the  event I can one day get free, and get an interview from helpful people. Also on the way to the shopping, along the Freeway, near exit 58, there is a big construction project that has been going on for many years. They are finally building the structure. So far it's just block work. The structure looks like a strip mall style shopping center arrangement, that has two strips of stores that oppose one another, with a central parking area. It's a slaughter “bottleneck” and is being built for the purpose of killing victims. I have heard if the plan to build such a bottleneck killing field talked about for twenty years, and they are building it now. I know exactly what it is. There are very likely to be vast underground facilities as part of the killing machine, and thay explains why the project has been more than five years in the making and they are only recently starting the block work for the stores about three months ago. At 6th Street Market, there were more people in the store than I have seen before. One of them commented that I had shaved, while speaking to someone on a communication device. I was able to make my purchases and  leave without incident.
At Walmart, the experience was not really worth saying more than it's the same as ever, a killing field where US Citizens are murdered, and all of the shoppers are terror soldiers in disguise. The second time I went in to buy what I forgot about, the atmosphere was a bit different inside the store. I had left in my car, then turned around and went back. I noticed something that was the same the last time I did that, and that is a truck marked “Locating” had turned into the same place I did to turn around. That truck is there to follow me if I take a different route than usual. You have to understand that I am the last remaining US Citizen in the county in order to understand the levels of control the terror soldiers place on me. Inside the store the second time, I could see that the terror soldiers inside there behave differently when I am in store, than when I am not in the store. They were not expecting that I would be coming back, they all thought I left the store, so, the song and dance numbers inside the store were noticeably different. I was given confirmation a number of times that Donald Trump is dead. He indeed was portraying Yuseph Myers on June 15, and had come to kill me personally. USA, has no President right now. USA has no Vice President either. Mike Pence was killed the same way, in defense. That makes Nancy Pelosi, US President, but no one is saying that the President and Vice President are dead. We are truly doomed. Who is running the White House?
Better question is, who is running the USA?
I went to Burger King, and learned something important about that microphone transmitter inside my jaw. The clerk at the Burger King wear a radio headphone as she takes orders at the Burger King, and that radio uses the frequency that the implanted transmitter is broadcasting on. I could hear my own voice from her headphone. Also important, is the transmitter has about a five to fifteen second delay, such that the sentence I speak, is heard after a short time of delay. The Burger King Clerk was confused because I was speaking live, and then the same thing was being repeated again in her headphones. The Burger King Clerk is a terror soldier, and called for two other terror soldiers who were waiting in a car in the parking lot, to “Come in and get the card from him”.
There was a murder attempt with a .25 that failed.
I made it home safely. There is more that can be said, but what is the point? The US President was killed, and there is still no one interested in US National Security. End terror report: 7:35 pm.
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lovemesomerafael · 4 years
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Best That You Can Do               Chapter 2:  The Surprise
Not-dead Mike Dodds x Original female character (Of course there’s smut, he deserves it)
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Read Chapter 1    Read it on AO3
Mike Dodds.  Mike fucking Dodds.  Kaitlyn can’t get him out of her mind.  She has to give it to the Chief; his kid is everything he said he was. He’s also a cheating piece of shit. Kaitlyn hates everything about what happened that night.  She hates that she was so blown away by him the second they met, she hates that she came on like a thirsty ho, she hates that every moment they spent together had been electric, and she hates that it all ended because his damned girlfriend called while he was still in her bed.  But more than all of that, she hates that she absolutely cannot stop thinking about him.
It’s been three days now, and she can still feel the way he kissed.  Still gets aftershocks thinking about his body and the way he made her feel. It’s not helping that she works with his father, whom he looks an awful lot like, and who has about a hundred pictures of him all over his office.  The Chief actually jokingly asked her if she was avoiding him, because she has been avoiding his office, and all those damn pictures.  But she’s got a job to do, and she’s old enough to be able to get over a mistaken one-night stand.  She needs to pull it together.  
The Chief had asked her about him the next morning, and she’d almost jumped out of her skin.
“How’d you like Mike?” He’d asked.
“What?”  She’d practically shrieked.
“I didn’t realize you two hadn’t met before.  But now that you have, you seemed to hit it off.  What did you think?  Did I lie?”
“No, Sir, you didn’t lie. Here are the talking points for our meeting-“
“What, you didn’t like him?”
“No, I thought he was nice. Tall.  So, talking points?”
He’d given her a look then. Chief Dodds isn’t stupid.  “You don’t like him.”
“Sir, you’re freaking me out a little here.  What is it I’m supposed to say?”  OK, maybe that was a little snippier than she’d meant to be.  But damn.  
“Oh, I don’t know, I just thought you looked like you hit it off.  You’re both important to me.  I’d like it if you got along.”
“We did, Sir.  We mostly complained about you.  There might have even been a little mocking.”
“All right, all right.”
“Well, you asked. Repeatedly.”
“You’re right.  I did.  So, you did like him?”
“Yes, Sir, I can honestly say I liked him.  Now can we please get to work?  This meeting is going to be delicate.”
“OK, Boss.”  The Chief had given Kaitlyn that smile that means he’s pleased with her.  She’d felt a flash of irrational annoyance.  Why the fuck did he have to be so obsessed with his perfect son, who is actually a sleazy creep?  
Now, sitting at her desk staring uselessly out the window, Kaitlyn wonders what the Chief would say if he knew she’d fucked his perfect son’s brains out a few hours after they met because he conveniently forgot to mention he had a fucking girlfriend. Ugh.  Her phone rings.  It’s Eleanor.
“You have a visitor.”
Kaitlyn blinks.  “I don’t have an appointment this morning.”
“She says she’s a friend.”
“Oh.  OK.  I’ll be right out.”
The woman in the outer office is pretty, and her outfit looks expensive.  Her reddish-blonde hair is shoulder-length and shiny.  But Kaitlyn’s never seen her before in her life.  
“I… uh…”  She says as she crosses the outer office to where the woman is standing glancing out the window.
“Are you Kaitlyn?” The woman asks, a note of superiority in her voice.  She’s speaking too quietly for Eleanor to hear.
“Yes.  And you are…?”
“My name is Susan Eisenberg,” she hisses.  “I’m Mike Dodds’s girlfriend.  And you aren’t.  So I would ask you to please stay the hell away from him.”
Kaitlyn feels a cold brick form in her gut.  What the actual fuck.  “That won’t be a problem.”
For a moment, the women just look at one another, Susan giving Kaitlyn the once-over with a barely-controlled sneer, Kaitlyn resisting the urge to punch her in the nose on general principle.
“Is there anything else?” Kaitlyn asks, trying hard for a neutral tone.
“Don’t make me tell you again.”
Susan turns to leave, but at that moment, Chief Dodds returns to the office from his breakfast meeting.  He’s obviously surprised to see Susan here, and Kaitlyn doesn’t think it looks like a good surprise.  Hmmm. Interesting.
“Susan!  What are you doing here?”  He asks, missing a beat before his pleasant politician’s mask takes over his features.  
It doesn’t even occur to Kaitlyn to go back to her office.  It’s like watching a reality show.  Although Kaitlyn doesn’t notice, Eleanor’s glued to the scene, too.
Susan steps up and hugs the Chief, who does not look like that’s something he welcomes.  
“Hi, Will.  I just stopped by to tell Kaitlyn something.  I’m in a hurry, though, so I need to get going. It’s lovely to see you, though.  ‘Bye!”  Susan glides gracefully but quickly out the door.  
The Chief looks at Kaitlyn with raised eyebrows.  “You know Susan?  I didn’t know that.”
Kaitlyn has to resort to the cheesy tactic of faking a cough to give herself a second to think.  She has absolutely no idea what to say.  But she knows Eleanor didn’t hear the conversation and her generous nature takes over.  She covers for Mike, the scumbag.  “I don’t, actually.  She’s, um, a friend of a friend.  She just came in to give me a message.  Never met her before.”
The Chief looks relieved. “Oh.  She used to date Mike, you know.”
Kaitlyn can’t help it. It comes out before she can stop it. “Used to?”
“I don’t think it was very serious.  I’m glad, actually.  She’s a little spoiled.  Not somebody I’d want for him.”  
“Did it…  end recently?  She seemed happy to see you.”
“Oh, that’s kind of what she’s like.  Presumptuous, if you ask me.  Anyway,” he says vaguely, and heads back toward his office.  
Kaitlyn realizes he hasn’t answered her question, but she can’t really ask again.  
 That afternoon, Kaitlyn is supposed to be polishing a speech the Chief has to give that night. Instead, she’s thinking about Mike Dodds’s abs.  Again. She hears her phone ping softly to let her know she has a text.
Mike Dodds: Dad says Susan came to see you today. I can imagine why.  I’m SO sorry.  Please let me explain.  I swear it’s not as bad as it looks.
Kaitlyn sighs at the surge of adrenaline she feels when she sees it’s from him.  But fool me once…  She texts him back.
Kaitlyn Myers: Don’t care.  Your problem.  
She hates that she’s disappointed he doesn’t try to text her back.
Part of Kaitlyn’s job is to staff the Chief when he’s at events, like the banquet where he’s giving a speech tonight.  She’d really like to be able to just go home, but she puts on the black dress she brought for the event.  It’s not a formal event, but it is an evening banquet, so her work suit isn’t really appropriate.  She does like her dress, though.  It’s fairly simple, which is appropriate for her background role here, but it has off-the-shoulder three-quarter sleeves and a heart-shaped neckline she really likes, plus the skirt is puffy and short, which makes her legs look great.  Bare, as it turns out, but great.
She’s not in the mood for nylons any more than she is for the banquet itself, and she swears a blue streak when she puts two fingernails through trying to get them on, making a huge hole that immediately becomes a three-inch run in the fabric.  She doesn’t have a backup pair.  Great.  One more wonderful aspect of this glorious day.  She angrily tosses the brand-new nylons in the trash and gets out some lotion to rub on her legs.  It’s going to have to do.
When she’s dressed, she leaves her office to see if the Chief’s ready yet.  He’s already waiting in the outer office, looking amused.  
“You all right?  I thought I heard some colorful language in there.”
“Nylons.  ‘Nuff said.”
“I’m starting to think I should add a line item in the budget for hosiery for you.  You don’t have very good luck with those things.”
“Tell you what.  Stop making me go to these blasted events and you’ll save the Department a lot of money.”
“Not on your life.  I rely on you for about ten thousand things. You know that.  Anyway, tonight you’ll be glad you came with me.”  Chief Dodds opens the door to the hallway for Kaitlyn and they head for the elevator.
“Why’s that?”
“I have a surprise for you.”
“I’ve worked for you for over three years, Sir.  You know I hate surprises.”
“You’ll like this one.”
“That’s what you said about that Estonian restaurant.  Remember?”
“Will you ever let me forget?  Anyway, this is a sure thing.  You’ll see.”
“Sir-“
“Shut up and enjoy your surprise.  That’s an order.”
“You’re not paying me enough,” she grouses.
The banquet is a snooze, as most of them are.  The best that can be said for it is that the Chief’s speech goes well and there are, in fact, no surprises.  Kaitlyn’s a little confused by that, but relieved.  As the evening winds down, she begins to see the telltale signs that the Chief is, at last, ready to leave.  Thank God.  She can’t wait to take a long, hot shower and collapse into bed.  
Except that, when they leave the hotel’s banquet room, the Chief leads her into the bar instead of out the door.  “Come on. It’s time for your surprise.”
“The surprise I don’t want? That surprise?”
“The surprise I ordered you to like,” he smiles.  His eyes are twinkling alarmingly.  “C’mon. I’ll buy you a drink.”
Kaitlyn doesn’t want to stay, but she does want a stiff drink, so she agrees.  Plus, she can’t help but be a little curious about what kind of surprise he could be planning to give her in a bar.
And, as if this day couldn’t get any longer or more exhausting, the Chief leads her to a booth where his supposedly perfect but actually really fucking flawed son is sitting expectantly.  It is unequivocally not a good surprise.  In fact, it takes every ounce of energy Kaitlyn has not to turn around and stomp out, or scream any of the angry, bitter things that go rocketing through her mind.  She tries to sit next to the Chief on his side of the booth, but he insists she sit with Mike.  Of course he does.  Oh, fuck, she realizes, he’s matchmaking.  Kill me now.  She doesn’t know what the hell Mike’s doing, but she really, really should have known this is what the Chief was up to.
A waiter comes immediately to the booth and asks what they’d like to drink.  Kaitlyn orders a double Dewar’s, because Mike looks like a fucking snack.  He’s still wearing his work clothes.  He also looks really anxious.  Good. You should be, you snake.  I could out you to your father anytime I want. She knows she won’t, but he doesn’t.
“So, surprise,” the Chief says.  “Mike agreed to join us for a drink.”
“I was kind of hoping it was a raise,” Kaitlyn says, and the Chief laughs as if it’s funny.  Mike smiles dutifully, but he doesn’t laugh.  He hears her message loud and clear.
“How’d the speech go?” Mike asks his dad, and for a minute the Chief goes on about the evening, and the crowd’s reaction.  
It gives Kaitlyn a second to think, and what she thinks is that she’s been had.  The Chief’s just a romantic sap with a soft spot for his son, which is why he’s trying to set them up.  She doesn’t appreciate the blindside, and she thinks he should know her better than to think she would.  But she gets it.  Mike, though, gets no similar consideration.  Mike has deliberately tricked her.  Again.  He’s trying to force her to listen to whatever sorry-ass explanation he has for cheating on his girlfriend, as though Kaitlyn gives a rat’s ass why.  Cheating, for her, is an absolute, permanent dealbreaker.  Nothing he could possibly say will make the slightest bit of difference.
“Kait, you’re not saying anything.  Why don’t you tell Mike the story of how you got Channel Four to kill the hatchet-job piece they were going to run on the Millar case?”
“Mike doesn’t want to hear that story.”
“Of course I do.  What happened?”  
The look Kaitlyn gives Mike is, she hopes, enough to freeze his blood.  “Nothing.  They called me for a quote, and I happened to know the woman who called.  Simple as that.”
“Oh, it was nowhere near as simple as that, and you know it.”  The Chief thinks she’s being bashful.  God bless him, he’s a brilliant politician, but he’s got a total blind spot when it comes to his son.  It would never occur to him that Kaitlyn is refusing to play because she loathes him. So the Chief tells the story, in charming, humorous detail that is far more flattering to Kaitlyn than the real facts deserve.  Mike’s making all the appropriate noises, but he keeps trying to catch Kaitlyn’s eye and she keeps resolutely refusing even to look at him.  Meanwhile, the Chief goes on with the conversation he’s having, while the silent argument simmers between Mike and Kaitlyn.
It goes on like that, until they’ve finished their drinks and the Chief pays the bill.  “Keep a tab open,” he tells the waiter.  “Bring them each another drink, and whatever else they want, just put it all on that card.”
“No, Chief, it’s late. I really need to get home. Besides, you’re my ride-“
“Nonsense.  Mike will get you home.  You two stay here, get to know each other.  On me.”
He says goodnight with a self-satisfied smile, fully confident in each of them to charm the other. Kaitlyn wants to scream.  Still, she just doesn’t have it in her to tell her boss that his beloved son is a bottom-feeder, so she doesn’t push it. She’ll just wait until he leaves, then tell Mike to leave her the fuck alone, and get a cab home.  She does, however, get up and switch sides of the booth. It’s been entirely too pleasant to feel Mike’s warmth along her side while she’s been sitting next to him.
“Don’t do that again,” she growls to Mike when the Chief’s gone.
“I’m sorry.  I know I put you in an awkward position, but I need to explain.”  Mike looks adorably earnest, the asshole.
“That may be what you need. What I need is for you to understand that I do not want to see you.  Or talk to you.  Your girlfriend has to deal with your cheating.  I don’t.”
The waiter arrives with their fresh drinks, so they have to be quiet for a moment.  Kaitlyn can see that Mike’s dying to say whatever it is he has to say, and he starts in immediately as soon as the waiter takes the first step from the table.
“She’s not my girlfriend-“
“Stop.  I don’t care.  As far as I’m concerned, you’re scuzz.  There is nothing you can say to me that will change that.  I get that your dad wants us to be friends, and he’s important to both of us, so I’ll be polite to you when I have to.  But don’t kid yourself.  I am not, nor will I ever be, interested in you, or any explanations you might think you have for sleeping with me when you have a girlfriend.”
“She’s not my girlfriend!”
“Well, she thinks she is, and that means you gave her reason to.  I don’t care.”  Kaitlyn tosses off half her drink and starts to slide out of the booth.
Mike puts a hand out and lays it on her arm.  She hates that the feeling of him touching her derails her completely and she stops moving.
“At least finish your drink. Let me get you home safely.  If you don’t want to hear it, I’ll respect that.”
Kaitlyn has no control over the way she scoots back to her seated position and picks up her drink, taking another fairly healthy swallow.  She’s scowling at the table as she fights not to hear her mind saying that she’s playing with fire.  
“Can I at least apologize for you having to deal with Susan coming to your office?  That, at least, won’t be happening again.”
Kaitlyn shrugs.  “She’s got spunk.  I like her.”
“She’s psychotic.”
“Don’t care.  If you must speak, let’s talk about something else. Tell me about the time you got shot in the arm.”
“Yeah,” he grins, and Kaitlyn’s guts twist in a way that would be pleasant if he wasn’t a troll.  “Makes sense you’d want to hear about me getting shot right about now.”
So he tells her the story while they finish their drinks.  She can see he’s nursing his to prolong this, but she’s going to leave the second hers is gone, so it doesn’t matter.  It’s a very interesting story, and pretty soon he’s telling her the whole, long saga of Greg Yates.  She’s drawn in despite herself.  She’s only reminded that she hates Mike when the waiter returns to ask if they’d like another drink.
“No, thank you, I’m leaving,” Kaitlyn announces.  Mike gets up, too.  
“I’ll take you home.”
“I can get a cab.”
“Don’t do yourself a disservice just to spite me.  My car’s right here, you’ll get home faster, and it won’t cost you anything.”
That makes sense, actually. She’s a tired and she’s fairly buzzed. What the hell.
“Fine,” she sighs.
In the confines of the car, she realizes just how damn good he smells.  She doesn’t know if he’s wearing cologne, but there’s some kind of scent there, on top of the delicious smell of his skin, which is giving her a body memory that’s not helping the situation.  They’re silent on the short drive to her apartment building. Miraculously, there’s a car just pulling out from a space right in front.  Mike pulls in.  
“Kaitlyn, I wish you’d let me talk to you about this.”
She sighs and opens the door.  Stepping onto the sidewalk, she thanks him brusquely for the ride and closes it again. She’s a tangle of feelings as she fumbles in her purse for her keys.  She finds them quickly enough, and opens the heavy front door, but not before he’s standing just behind her.
“Mike, what the hell?” She moans tiredly, noticing in the back of her mind that she keeps going into the foyer and up the stairs.
He doesn’t answer, just follows her.  She lets him.
As soon as the door to her apartment is open, his arms are around her and she’s turning toward him. They tear at clothes, shedding the bare minimum because, when Mike tries to move them toward her bedroom, she growls into his mouth, “Fuck you.  You’re not getting back in my bed.”
He groans at that, which she thinks might be a combination of lust and disappointment, but she loses that train of thought because, since she’s already torn off her panties, he turns them and moves into her until her back is against the wall of the little hallway through her apartment.  There’s moaning and panting, but no talking.  Mike tries once to say something, but Kaitlyn cuts him off.
“Just shut up and fuck me.” With that, she pulls his mouth back to hers, pushes his pants and briefs down around his knees, and wraps a leg around his waist.  
He picks her up easily, moving their hips so that he’s lined up, and shoves his huge cock into her. She’s not complaining.  In fact, she’s pulling him into her with her arms and legs, and she’s gasping with what is obviously pleasure.  
“Fuck…” Mike hisses, beginning a hard, fast rhythm.  She’s pinned between him and the wall, which means he’s in control.  She wonders where his “thing” about consent went, although she’s making it very obvious that this is what she wants.  
“Dammit… Mike… you… shit…” she pants, in rhythm with his thrusting.
“Fuck, Kaitlyn…”
“I’m… throwing you… out… soon as I… come…”
She can feel his deep chuckle through the shirt he’s still wearing.  
It doesn’t take long. She feels a deep, pulling, tingling begin and lays her head back against the wall, concentrating on rubbing her engorged clit against his pubic bone with every stroke.  Later, she’ll regret the fact that she begins to cry his name, and keeps it up as she crests the wave of her orgasm and feels him speed his thrusts as his shouts join hers.
They stay like that, him leaning against her with his hands under her thighs, her with her back against the wall and her head thrown back, clinging to him with all her limbs, as they try to catch their breath.  It’s minutes later when he finally lets her down.  
She huffs in annoyance as she smooths her dress back down her body to try to regain a little of her dignity.  “Go home,” she says as she picks up her panties and shoes, and begins to walk down the hall to her bedroom.
She hears him chuckle as he’s re-doing his pants, which irritates her further and she turns around. She notices then that he was wearing his coat and tie through that entire event.  But what really pisses her off is that he’s grinning at her smugly.
“You like me,” he drawls.
“I like sex,” she retorts. “Get over yourself.”
“Uh-huh.”  
She turns back around and goes into her bedroom.  She’s reaching back to unzip her dress when she hears him let himself out.  Muttering to herself as she pads down the hall to engage the locks, she doesn’t realize she’s wearing a big, involuntary smile that’s entirely inconsistent with the things she’s telling herself she thinks about Mike Dodds.  
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wigwurq · 5 years
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WIG REVIEW: ONCE UPON A TIME...IN HOLLYWOOD
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Bring on the brunch cocktails: Quentin Tarantino’s second to last (?) movie is here! How will we resurrect the careers of ‘90s hasbeens or know what ‘60s deep cuts to listen to after that?! If your answer is the Duffer Brothers, no thank you please. Anyway, let’s focus on this one, which does for the Manson murders what Inglorious Basterds did for the holocaust. But what about the wigs? Let’s discuss.
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As you can see from these stills in which Brad Pitt basically has morphed into prime Robert Redford, this film is mainly wigless and better for it. It’s 1969 in Hollyweird, and Pitt plays Leonardo DiCaprio’s stunt double and most of the film is them being very handsome brunch buddies who I would love to sit around with eating pizza and watching old episodes of FBI. Pitt’s character’s main offense is being a dude who wears moccasins which is an indefensible crime no matter what the decade is. 
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There are occasional wigs - which are wigs within the narrative - as seen here as Pitt wears a wig to double DiCaprio’s character. For the most part, these wigs are fine and since we know they are wigs, are pretty good!
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But here we get into some murky wig gaslighting! As in other films where there are wigs which we understand to be wigs within the narrative of the film, as with this wig DiCaprio wears in the pilot of a western, BUT these wigs are just as good as wigs being passed off as actual hair! WHAT.
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Again, here is a wig that we know to be a circa 1969 wig DiCaprio’s character wears in a western TV pilot. 
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And here is a wig that DiCaprio’s character tries to pass off as ACTUAL HAIR THAT HE GREW OUT IN ITALY at the end of the film (apologies for photo quality - there aren’t many images of this wig). Regardless, this wig is not as good! The quality is terrible and as with all bad man wigs, it juts out at the back. WIG GASLIGHTING STRIKES AGAIN! 
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Here’s another look at this damn thing. The wig DiCaprio wears in that damn western TV show is superior!! FOR SHAME.
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Elsewhere, there are other bad man wigs lurking in every corner. We only get a few glimpses of this dude who plays Roman Polanski but none of them are great.
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And beyond the bad wig, I’m pretty sure this costume came directly from the set of Austin Powers. Thanks, Mike Myers?
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And just look at this frizzed out mess passing itself off as Steve McQueen. THE HORROR.
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Many have found the portrayal of Bruce Lee to be troubling, but not enough has been said about how bad this wig is also! WHY CAN NO ONE MAKE THE BACK TAPER OF A MAN WIG WURQ?! WHY!
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AND THEN THERE’S CHARLIE. I regret to inform you that this actor has played Charles Manson in like 2 other things and truly: WHAT A CAREER? I hope the other projects have superior wigs at least because WOOF.
Still this movie is pretty fun if you like: alternate realities, famous people playing other famous people, the children of famous people playing hippies, highly trained dogs, this one part that you think is gonna be like Psycho but then you remember Bruce Dern is in this, Emile Hirsch looking svelte, different hippies with dirty feet, the need to wikipedia some facts, ‘60s songs you forgot existed, and honestly a lot of flamethrowers. It also has made me realize my new life goal to be: Leonardo DiCaprio floating around a pool at midnight listening to a reel-to-reel in shortie pajamas drinking frozen margaritas directly out of the blender. So worth it?
VERDICT: DOESN’T WURQ (BUT YOU’RE WELCOME FOR THIS GIF)
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that-shamrock-vibe · 5 years
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Movie Review: Bohemian Rhapsody (Spoilers)
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Disclaimer: I am posting this review a week after the movie airs, so if you haven’t seen the movie yet don’t read on.
General Reaction:
I have been looking forward to this movie more than most of the end of year movies coming out. I am happy to report that Bohemian Rhapsody does not disappoint in delivering a valentine to Freddie Mercury and his legacy.
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Firstly, I love Queen. I love the music, I love the styling and I love the message and feelings they give their fans of being radical but brilliant. Freddie Mercury is definitely an icon for me both in terms of his music and his LGBT status. I do believe when you think of the great LGBTQ+ musicians in history you do think Mercury, Bowie, Elton and George Michael. I love all of these singers but Mercury stands out for me because of his radical nature.
I am very glad this movie doesn’t shy away from exploring Freddie’s sexuality, yes it doesn’t go quite as far to be completely faithful to Freddie’s life but for that we’d need an R-rating and it may lose some of the charm in that case. Also it was never the tangled web that some have surmised his love life was and instead a progression of Freddie discovering his sexuality.
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And his personal drama aside, the movie did a great job at realizing that Freddie Mercury was a king of his craft, while yes he is understated by many, for fans that know of his work he is on the level of Michael Jackson, Elton John and Lady Gaga.
I do believe the movie was slightly hurt by the real-life remaining members of Queen interfering with the movie. Essentially they wanted the movie to be more of a Queen origin movie than a Freddie Mercury biopic, but to the movie’s credit it did at least start with Freddie’s story being the A-Storyline and the rise of Queen being the B-Storyline so I do think there is something for everyone in it.
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Also give the movie credit, it gave an almost accurate recreation of Live Aid to the point where when they had that panning shot towards the stage passing a Wembley Arena full of people, it was just wondrous to look at.
The only real issue I had with my screening was the fact they showed the teaser trailer for Rocketman immediately before the movie. Yes they are both biopics about brilliant artists but Rocketman doesn’t even come out until the end of May 2019 and to do this in front of a contemporary is like when Sony decided to put a snippet of Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse at the end of Venom.
Cast:
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Rami Malek does an excellent job at emulating all sides of Freddie Mercury’s life here. I liked the actor beforehand but after this I love him. Not only did he look so much like Freddie to the point where at times I forgot it was an actor I was watching, but the brilliant British accent and wonderful teeth acting was simple fabulous.
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The cast on the whole are great but of course the majority are supporting players to Rami Malek as Freddie. However the rest of the band are also very good. Gwilym Lee is a dead-ringer for Brian May particularly when he starts wearing his infamous mop-hair. Ben Hardy has finally found a role outside of EastEnders I actually think works for him with drummer Roger Taylor and by god Joe Mazzello, talk about a comeback as bassist John Deacon. I remember him as a kid in movies like Jurassic Park and The River Wild, and yes I know he’s been working through the years but nothing as mainstream as this.
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Also Lucy Boynton as the love of Freddie’s life Mary Austin was a very tame but emotive performance. Obviously no one in this movie could really top Rami Malek when it came to charisma but then again the same could be said for Freddie in real life. I do think Boynton’s performance reminded me a lot of Felicity Jones in The Theory of Everything and both gave brilliant performances.
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Then there were Allen Leech and Aaron McCusker who portrayed obsessive personal manager Paul Prenter and Freddie’s end of movie boyfriend Jim Hutton respectively. I thought for the roles they had they were very well cast. I did like the fact Freddie’s short-haired mustachioed look being inspired by Paul’s look was an interesting tell as to how much time the two had spent together and then Jamie Maguire from Shameless being the boyfriend at the end was a great turn for his acting career.
Finally, Mike freakin’ Myers is in this movie. It wasn’t until the end that I realized who he portrayed but that speaks to his acting chops as he was almost unrecognizable. He portrayed that record label exec who pretty much ripped the song “Bohemian Rhapsody” to shreds. I just felt it was a fun cameo and despite not being a fan of the movie, everyone who knows movies knows about that scene from Wayne’s World featuring Bohemian Rhapsody.
Recommendation:
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I cannot recommend seeing this movie enough. It is, as I said before, the near-perfect valentine to Freddie Mercury who is an icon in both music and the LGBT community. Compare this to A Star Is Born and this movie is a lot better, slightly sloppy with directing at times but overall is a very solid movie.
Overall I rate this movie a 9/10, it didn’t make me cry as I thought it would and I said there was some sloppy director decisions made but aside from that I cannot fault this movie other than potentially the “what if” scenario of if this movie had the R-rating what we potentially could have got. But I do love this movie.
So that’s my review of Bohemian Rhapsody, what did you guys think? Post your comments and check out more Movie Reviews as well as other reviews and posts.
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ruoxin · 5 years
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Hello everyone!!
I noticed that I gained a lot of new followers recently, and I realized I haven’t really made a post introducing myself like ever lol so I brain dumped 50 random facts about me and hopefully you guys know me better! ^-^
My name is Angela, but I also go by Ang/Angie/Leighann
I’m currently 22! I was born in 1997 (Chinese zodiac is year of the Rat since I was born before the Lunar New Year)
i’m quite short at 4′11″
My Myers-Briggs is INFJ
For those into Astrology: Aquarius sun, Sagittarius moon, Cancer rising
I just graduated last month from UCSB as a psych major with a minor in English literature!
Born and raised in the Bay Area ❤ Hoping to live in SF someday!
I’m ethnically Chinese/Dutch, but both my parents are from Taiwan
I have a HUGE birthmark from my ankle to my thigh (it’s insane haha but it faded a lot throughout the years)
I have 8 piercings! All in my ears (6 lobes, 1 tragus, 1 helix)
Only countries I been to: U.S., Mexico, China, Taiwan. Top of my bucket list include: Iceland, Santorini, Japan, South Korea!
I guess I’m bi? Still figuring it out tbh. But guys my type include: Doctor Mike, Andre Hamann, Nick Bateman. girls my type: Hyoyeon, Seulgi, Maggie Q, Lucy Liu
My fav (American) TV shows are: OITNB, Grey’s Anatomy, Burn Notice, and FRIENDS
My fav kdramas are: Encounter, City Hunter,  IRIS, Legend of the Blue Sea
My fav movie is Breakfast at TIffany’s
I listen to a lot of indie/alternative (Foster the People, Lana Del Rey, Naked and Famous, Mumford & Sons), kpop (right now loving Red Velvet, SNSD and Gfriend), and classic 60s - 80s (Beatles, Motown, Frank Sinatra, etc.)
I got into kpop in 2009 but stopped listening around 2013-2016 and started again in 2017. My ult kpop group is pROoOBably SNSD and my (ult) bias is Hyoyeon ❤ PLEASE STAN HER AND LISTEN TO HER NEW SINGLE BADSTER WHEN IT COMES OUT JULY 20 6PM KST!!
I was raised Catholic but now I am spiritual but not religious. I believe in constantly working on becoming a better person and doing good.
My fav colors are: black, white, most shades of light pink, turquoise (or TIffany blue), and recently I’ve been obsessed with yellow! I can’t pick a single one!
My favorite time of day is prob dawn but I haven’t been awake for it in years lol. I do love twilight too because it gives me a weird nostalgic feeling
I speak English and proficient-fluent Mandarin (I prob can’t have a deep conversation about economics or politics or something lol but I grew up speaking it with my parents 24/7). I also took 4 years of Japanese in high school (but i prob forgot most of it welp). I’m going to relearn Japanese/Mandarin and hopefully start learning Korean sometime in the near future! I know the alphabet and some basics from my countless of hours watching kdramas lol
If you’re one of my female friends, I will melt if you call me these: angel, sweetie, beautiful, babe, hun, etc!!
I try to avoid mainstream things that are talked about too much because I really believe that things are overhyped and people can lose their identity by liking things just because other people are. (no hate, but e.g. BTS, Ariana Grande, Game of Thrones, Beyonce).
I LOVEEE receiving and giving handwritten letters
Speaking of, I change my handwriting every few years since I haven’t really found one that stuck yet and I have like 5 different types of handwriting from all caps to very neat print to almost calligraphy-like cursive
Games I play(ed): Pokemon (Silver, Leafgreen, Emerald, Ultra Sun, Alpha Sapphire, and Pokemon Go lol), Animal Crossing (Wild World, New Leaf, Pocket Camp). I also did my fair share of League but stopped before it consumed my life with toxicity. I was a support main who used Nami, Janna, and Thresh!
27 is my favorite number but I really do not know why lmao
My guilty pleasure song is Britney Spears - Toxic and I still haven’t gotten sick of it. Some favorite songs of all time are prob: Aretha Franklin - Day Dreaming, Tears for Fears - Everybody Wants to Rule the World, SNSD - Gee, SNSD - Genie, Amy Winehouse - Valerie
My best subject at school was English and I received an academic excellence award at the end of my junior year out of all the juniors in my grade in American Lit
When I was younger, my first dream job was an artist. then I watched Grey’s and wanted to be a cardiothoracic surgeon. Other dream jobs I had for brief moments: makeup artist, fashion designer, motivational speaker. Now I’m hoping to go to grad school to be an MFT/LPCC!
I love black cats and german shepherds! But I’m more of a cat person
If I could travel back in time I would want to live in 60′s New York or the 90′s.
Biggest turn on: someone who can hold a deep and intellectual conversation with me about meaningful subjects! Biggest turn off: someone who is extremely vapid and has no ambition whatsoever
My fav season is autumn!
The perfume I use is Marc Jacobs Daisy but I think I want to change to Versace Bright Crystal after I finish
I have perfect vision!
I did track during my prime teenage days (long jumper!) and my fastest mile was 7:20. I haven’t ran for years after that and I just started again 7 years later around this March, and I improved from around a 10 min mile in the beginning to my recent fastest at 8:09! I am hoping to get back in the ~7 mins
I also did a little bit of swim team, and I can swim all four strokes (free, back, breast, butterfly) but I mainly raced freestyle and butterfly!
I am literally the least picky eater you will ever meet. Take me to any restaurant and I wouldn’t complain. I also have a decently high tolerance for spicy things. The only food that I ever really tried and disliked is liver and the one thing that I probably wouldn’t ever try is something way out there like snail or scorpion lol
Speaking of food, I love food on the heavier side and tend to over season and over-sauce my foods lol. I love onion, ketchup, ranch, black pepper, soy sauce, korean chili spice (what they use for kimchi)
I can crack all my toes at will (it grosses everyone out xD)
My favorite book of all time is East of Eden by John Steinbeck ❤
My super power of choice if I had one would probably be invisibility
I played piano for 6 years in my childhood and I can still read notes, but veeery slowly lol
I’m kind of VERY unhealthily obsessed with (Japanese) stationery. Moleskine journals, Uni alpha gel, Pilot Dr. Grip, Zebra Mildliners, Staedler Triplus fineliners, Sakura Microns, Uni-ball signo, Pilot Hi-tec-c... yeah... i have all of those and more... yiKEs
My fav holiday is Christmas. I love holiday spirit and Sleigh Ride (I only accept the Ella Fitzgerald version) is literally such a good song??
My favorite non alcoholic drink is prob earl grey boba tea. fav alcoholic drink is whiskey!
I do not have any tattoos, but the top two I am planning are: “♒” behind my left ear, and “英” behind my neck (my mom’s Chinese name, but it also means brave/hero/outstanding person)
city > countryside
How I would describe my fashion style: tomboy, casual, chic, comfortable
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douubles · 2 years
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Hi there for the question thingy let's go with 5-15 but skip 10 since you already did it.
I GOT DISTRACTED & FORGOT TO CHECK TUMBLR THANK U<3
5: post your favorite selfie.
im going to post two, because I just recently cut my hair in a gender affirming way so I'm going to do one from earlier in the year that I like, and one taken since i cut my hair lol
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6: if you traveled, where did you go?
i went to the bay area for a concert that got cancelled lol. i went to sacramento! actually i went to three concerts this year, so that ig? it's the most traveling ive ever done in a single year, im kinda scared of traveling lol
7: which fashion trends did you love?
i know nothing about fashion omg.. um it seems like scene kid stuff is coming back. love that. boys w blue hair and stripey streaks in their hair again plz
8: which fashion trends did you hate?
i mean instagram fashion in general. everyone looks the same on there and it makes me wanna vom
9: what was your favorite article of clothing this year?
im not a super fashion inclined person.. uh I've got a great pair of shorts w Garfield all over them. very ugly very good, i have worn them in public
11: what album came out that has been on heavy rotation since?
t.i.a.p.f.y.h. by left at london. holy shit listen to this album. or even just pills & good advice. It's so so good. also xoxo by the Maine was real good
12: what was your favorite movie of the year?
i actually watched a lot of movies this year.. i mean a lot for me because i kinda don't watch movies. lol. fuck Disney but encanto actually was real good
13: did an actor/actress catch your attention for the first time this year?
this is probably not the correct way to answer this question, but i realized this year that at least 40% of the movies that i watched on repeat as a young child featured mike myers. like he was integral to my childhood in a weird way
15: what new fandom has taken over a lot of your time and attention this year?
not new but i returned to basically my oldest hyperfixation, all time low. ive been a fan since i was 12 but i kinda dipped from the fanbase for a few years. i kinda picked a horrible time to come back tbh but it's good to come back to something i love so much
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lyravellas · 7 years
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Murder on the Rockport Limited Part 3: TAZ Pre-Finale Relisten Recap
“Come on, ride the train. It’s the choo choo, and ride it.” – Griffin McElroy, 30 under 30 media luminary
Oh boy, I’d forgotten about Clint’s overzealous Scottish accent.  Oh dear.
Hudson the engineer says ‘smell you later’ to the boys upon parting ways with them, leading me to believe that Jenkins’s “catchphrase” is less of a Jenkins thing and more of just an every employee of the Rockport Limited thing, which is pretty weird.
Magnus’s stinky hand contest with Hudson is also still one of the strangest things that I have ever listened to with my own two ears.
“Can I roll insight to see how fancy he is?  It’s a 17.  Oh wait no, minus one is 16.”  “Oh, a minus one.  Then you die.”
Griffin’s character voices rating – Jenkins:
“Mike Myers as Lauren Michaels having a stroke”, according to Justin.
Cue Griffin complaining about how they “need to do a series wrap on Jenkins ASAP” because he “doesn’t want to keep doing the voice”, what a sneaky sneaky man
9/10
Travis dragging Griffin for having to make a god damn pillow exoskeleton  in order to go to sleep is relatable
Griffin having Jenkins be the one to tell the boys about Jess’s ‘The Beheader’ wrestling name is a bit of trickery that I completely missed on the first go-around.  Good job Griffin.
Taako voice: “Kind of a shitty wizard”
“A witch kissed me and cursed me so that anytime anybody yells a secret word, I have to attend to their every need, and that word is my fucking name, Jenkins.” – Jenkins the shit wizard
This whole recap is just going to be quotations and I refuse to apologize
Jenkins’s rod is basically just a portkey except shittier, sticking with Jenkins’s general MO.
I completely forgot that the boys’ first interaction with Angus is just Merle evangelizing to him.  How far we’ve come.
Griffin’s character voices rating – Angus:
Your very good friend!
100/10 because I would take a bullet for Angus McDonald
When they’re all introducing themselves, Magnus asks Angus if he’s from Phandalin.  Griffin has Angus say that he’s never heard of Phandalin before, but it stands to reason that name Phandalin probably should have actually been static’d out.
“The memory of my grandpa’s name died long before I was born!” And thus, the “Angus is a dragon” theory sprung fully formed from the brain of Reddit.
I don’t personally subscribe to the Dragon Ango theory, but Angus rolling a 24 in charisma is, admittedly, pretty fucking weird.
Even if Griffin critted, that’s still +4 modifier in charisma for 10 year-old fantasy Encyclopedia Brown
The first “Taako, from TV” happens in this episode.
“Oh that’s not that weird to have a train name.  A name that you use, only on trains.”
Graham is just juicy wizard’s train name.  His real name is Percy.
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thedenfantasyleague · 4 years
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The Den Fantasy League Recap: Week 13
Fellas, Fellas, Fellas,
For some of us, we’ve made it. For some of us, you didn’t it. In the words of Boyz II Men: How did we come to the end of the road? Well, let me tell you.
Viking Quest v. Team Timshel
It was simple for me. Win and you’re in; at least, that’s what I was hoping. Thanksgiving was a test of my character as Mike’s Dak and Buff D Dip carved me like a turkey. After that, I found our Julio wasn’t playing so benched that bum Ryan in favor of Danny Dimes (no bueno). Despite not scoring a season-high for our league, Mike’s team was consistent across the board with only TWO players not reaching their projections. Mike was led by the aforementioned Dak and Buff D as well as Kennan and Gurley. My team did their best to put some points on the board with big games El Tractorcito, Juuls, and Alshon. I knew that as the night was winding down on SNF, I wasn’t going to win. But… I could still make the playoffs with a little help.
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VP v. Debbie Rowe
Speaking of help, it came down to Jake and Vinny determining my playoff hopes and dreams. Vinny, like me, needed to win but was dependent on me losing as I held the tie-breaker. Vinny’s week didn’t start off too hot as Brees and Koo had below-average games on Thanksgiving. Unfortunately, on-side kicks don’t get you points. He did try to make up some ground with good games from DJ, Miles, and Steelers D but Vinny just couldn’t put up the numbers for a winning effort and found himself bounced. Jake, who has had a shaky couple weeks to end the season, still put up a respectable 97+ points this week. Jake was aided by big games from guys who are normally who play the supporting cast most weeks: Jack “O” Doyle, Saints D, and Butt-kicker. He was also aided by the resurgence of his little Cooper Kupp and the bounce-back of Deshaun. Can Jake’s stars return for the playoffs?
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Wilmore Cinderella v. Professor Remus Lupin
In a battle of busted basketball players, we saw JP and Gabe square off. Before we got to MNF, JP had a rough start to his TNF players. His normal WR combo of Brown and Thomas both had subpar games. From there, other than Carson and Myers, no one else put up much of an effort. If only he would have played James White… Gabe, like JP, didn’t really do too much this week knowing they made the playoffs. He was led by Woods and Snell and got enough from the Vikings combo of Cousins and Diggs to give him the win. Some interesting matchups meet these two teams.
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The Perfect Ten v. Kalabar’s Revenge
E, like me, just needed to win. That’s it. If he could just win, he would avoid his fate of Cabana Boy. We were worried that we’d see a repeat of last year when a previous champion fell all the way down to CB. E was taking on an opponent he knows well and G’s team played hard in their final game of the regular season. Led by his Bears (against my Lions), Mahomes, and Rams D, G’s squad did everything they could to secure a win. Unfortunately for E, only two of his players met their projections. Not what you want when you’re fighting for your playoff spot. E, who to his credit has produced well this season, put up one of his worst weeks when he needed it the most.
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Hank Mardukas v. Virg. Gardening Minmaxers
Luckily for E, he was bailed out by Mr. Scott Duncan Rowe. Al needed a lot this week but he could’ve helped himself out with a win. That’s really the only thing he could have had happened to avoid the ill-fated CB role. Al was led by two of his trade acquisitions in Singletary and Rodgers. Other than that, no one else on his team scored in double digits. After it was all said and done, winning 3 out of his last 5, Al couldn’t put up enough points to even give himself a chance. Scott, who secured his #2 seed this week, was led by Lamar, Devante, Gesicki, and Lutz but that’s not the story. The story is Al is officially Cabana Boy. Oh, and Scott’s bench>>>.
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Stick With Us PVO v. Mixon It Up You thought we forgot this matchup? Might as well have. We all knew what was going to happen. I’m going to say what we’re all thinking: Dylan owns Rob. I don’t know how we got here or what happened but Rob just hasn’t been able to beat Dylan. Rob, who has scored more than 70 ONCE in his last 7 games, came out flat again. Rob’s team was top-heavy this week with big games from Brady and his Bengals. The rest of his team? They averaged 2.49 points. TWO POINT FOUR NINE POINTS FOR SEVEN PLAYERS!!! THAT’S FACTORING IN ALVIN’S EIGHT POINTS! YIKES, ROB! Dylan only had three players surpass their projections in Badgley, Packers D, and Rubbie Anderson but it was enough to beat Rob again. Unfortunately for Dylan, he wasn’t playing Rob every week and now finds himself out of the playoffs for the fourth straight season.
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Cabana Boy
As mentioned, Al joins the show.
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Playoffs Round 1: 
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Bad News: 
Whether it was on purpose or an accident, the trophy took a spill. E claims it was Ada but he may have been frustrated after a tough season. I’m not mad, just disappointed. 
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As always, set your lineups accordingly. I want to say congrats to Jake on beating me this week. I’m just happy to be here. 
Your beloved Commissioner, 
Jared R. Mosqueda
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turkiyeecom · 5 years
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Down 6 in 9th, Padres WIN! Renfroe hits 3 HRs - MLB.com
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DENVER -- Maybe, just maybe, it’s too early to write off these Padres. On Friday night it was. Staring down a six-game losing streak and a six-run ninth-inning deficit, the Padres rallied in improbable fashion for a 16-12, 12-inning victory over the Rockies at Coors Field. They mounted the largest DENVER -- Maybe, just maybe, it’s too early to write off these Padres. On Friday night it was. Staring down a six-game losing streak and a six-run ninth-inning deficit, the Padres rallied in improbable fashion for a 16-12, 12-inning victory over the Rockies at Coors Field. They mounted the largest ninth-inning comeback in franchise history, then tacked on five more runs in the 12th to win a 5-hour, 4-minute marathon. • Box score “I ain’t seen nothing like it,” said Wil Myers. “Shows what this team’s all about,” said Eric Hosmer. It was, quite simply, one of the wildest games in franchise history and arguably the craziest in baseball this season. Hunter Renfroe homered three times. Fernando Tatis Jr. sparked both rallies. Rookie backup catcher Austin Allen smashed the go-ahead double. The way baseball is designed -- with 30 different teams playing 162 games and doing so on a near-nightly basis -- most games fade into history. It’s rare that a mid-June regular-season game produces folklore like this. “That’s a special one,” said Padres manager Andy Green. “You don’t forget these.” Here’s every detail of one of the most memorable ninth-inning rallies in Padres history: Fernando Tatis Jr.: single off Mike Dunn Score: 11-5 Win probability: 0.8 percent Of course, Tatis was the spark. He’s been the spark all year long. To start the ninth, Tatis took ball one. Then Mike Dunn grooved a fastball, and the rookie phenom shot it into shallow left field for a single. “I’m not giving up,” Tatis said. “It’s still a ballgame. That’s why I’m not giving up — stuff like this today.” Tatis might not have given up. But he briefly forgot to “chop” at first base -- his signature move after every hit and a move that the entire team now replicates. Tatis reached first base, removed his shin guard, then heard some chirping from the Padres’ dugout. Even down six runs, they wanted him to chop. At long last, he obliged -- somewhat sheepishly. Josh Naylor: strikeout vs. Dunn Score: 11-5 Win probability: 0.3 percent Until the ninth inning Friday night, the Padres had played arguably their sloppiest game of the season. That included a sixth-inning miscue from Naylor that led to an inside-the-park, three-run homer for Ian Desmond. Later in that frame, the Padres allowed a run on a wild pitch. In the seventh, Manny Machado and Matt Wisler made errant throws that led to two runs. “It went from about as ugly as we could possibly play to as unbelievable as it could possibly be,” Green said. When Naylor struck out with a man aboard, the Padres’ win probability dropped to 0.3 percent. Manny Machado: single off Dunn Score: 11-5 Win probability: 0.6 percent Offensively, Machado has yet to be the force the Padres paid for this season. But he’s heating up. His four hits were a season high, and he homered for the third time in two nights. When Machado lined the first pitch he saw from Dunn into right field, the Padres were in business. “You get a couple guys on, you feel like you have a chance,” Hosmer said. “All of a sudden, the energy starts to turn up a little bit.” Read the full article
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