#I just went into my most recent notifications honestly

[avatar-anna]

Girl Gone Live

this is literally so stupid and so corny, but i don't care i'm here for a good time, not a long time, you know? enjoy!

"Okay, is this working? How do I know this is working?"

You squinted at the screen, feeling older than you actually were as you waited for some sign that the live stream you set up was working. Thankfully, comments started rolling through and the viewer count went up, and then it started to skyrocket, which made you a little nervous.

"I...think it's working! Cool. Well, um, obviously I'm Y/n L/n, and I'm a celebrity makeup artist. I recently did Olivia Rodrigo's makeup for her music video 'Vampire,' and I thought I would kind of walk you through how I achieved that look, I guess."

Before going live, you'd considered making a little script but decided against it. Hearing yourself bumble through the introduction now, though, you kind of wished you had.

No one seemed to be put off by your awkwardness, though. As comments streamed past, you saw some about the music video and Olivia and what it was like to work with her, but there were also a lot about Harry. You weren't necessarily surprised by Harry's fans flooding the comment section because you sometimes appeared in the background of posts from other people on Love on Tour and you'd become known as the tour's makeup artist. Sometimes you posted the looks you did for performances and little videos of you doing makeup before the show. The attention was a little jarring if you thought about it too long, but you decided it could be worse. After all, you were Harry Styles' long-term girlfriend.

But that wasn't what this livestream was about.

Your eyes scanned the comments as they moved a mile a minute, hoping to snag on a question. "Oh! Someone asked how I met Olivia. Um, as some of you may know, I'm currently working as the makeup artist for Love on Tour, and Olivia came to one of the shows, and we just talked for a really long time about makeup, and she asked me to do her makeup for the video a few weeks later."

It was a fun side gig while you were on tour with Harry and his band. You loved touring for the most part, but this was something different and exciting, so you flew back home during a break in the tour to work with Olivia on "Vampire." Harry tagged along, happy to watch you work instead of the other way around for once. He had a grin on his face the whole time as he watched you do your thing, playing assistant, grabbing whatever you needed when you asked, and holding a palette for you while you did Olivia's makeup. Overall, it was a fun shoot for both of you.

You were back on tour now, and since you had a little time to kill, you decided to go live for the first time to talk about makeup. If it went well, you could maybe make it a regular thing, so you hoped people actually watched and were interested.

*.*

Brynn watched her phone intently, pen in hand as she waited for Y/n to name-drop the next product she was using so she could write it down and see if she could afford it later. Not only was Brynn a huge fan of Olivia Rodrigo, but she had been a Harry Styles fan since she was in grade school, and when she got the notification that Y/n was going live, she was one of the first people to join.

"Luxury or drugstore makeup? Good question," Y/n said as she moisturized her face. "Honestly both. I love trying new things and seeing what works for me. When I was starting out, I mostly had MAC in my makeup kit, but now I've branched out a little more and added things here and there. But that's my professional kit, which has all the things I know with certainty will work perfectly for whatever look I'm trying to achieve. My personal one is where I do more experimentation with brands and products and trends. I guess that doesn't really answer the question, so both. I definitely use both.

"And what's cool is that Olivia loves makeup too, so she kind of knew her way around and what products worked best for her," Y/n continued.

She's so cool, Brynn thought as Y/n moved onto explaining how she did Olivia's base makeup. She didn't feel like Y/n was trying to push any particular product on her audience, nor did she hide which products she used. Her explanations were clear and easy to follow, and she even gave alternative products when she used one that was on the pricier side.

"Olivia loves herself a glowy base, and we really played that up because of the song. So to give her that Cullen-esque sparkle, I added some liquid highlighter into her foundation."

Brynn watched intently, wanting to see just how Y/n did it. Then, feeling compelled, she typed a comment. She didn't think Y/n would notice it, or be able to see it at all amongst the thousands of others, but she couldn't help but try to be noticed.

As Y/n blended her foundation in, Y/n smiled. "Someone asked how long it takes to do Harry's makeup on tour. Um...It kind of depends. Sometimes it's hard to actually get him in the chair because he gets so pumped up before he goes onstage. But once he settles enough for me to do it, it goes pretty quick. If he lets me, I get to put a little bit of glowy balm on his cheeks, but that's as creative as I get."

Y/n's smile changed, though Brynn couldn't really say how. It was almost like she was exasperated as she talked about Harry, and Brynn became just a tiny bit jealous that this person on the other side of her screen for knowing him well enough to be exasperated by him. What she wouldn't give to chase Harry Styles around so she could do his makeup. It left Brynn wondering how people even got into these situations.

Y/n finished up her base makeup while she answered more questions about the makeup products she used for the music video and a few about Love on Tour. She talked about her favorite songs and the places she'd been and the people she hung out with before and after shows.

"Oh boy, okay. I'm not a huge fan of bold lip colors on myself, but this is what I used on Olivia," Y/n said as she lined her lips. She'd just finished adding a light, almost haphazard, dusting of shimmer to her eyes, and despite the pixelated live stream feed, Brynn could still see it catch the light. "We wanted this to be the focal point of the whole look because, you know, vampires."

Y/n stopped talking briefly as she applied the lipstick she used for the music video, then shifted from side to side with her hands beneath her chin to show off the finished look. "Not my usual style, but—"

"There you are! I've been looking all over for you."

For a moment, Brynn thought she was dreaming. Mouth dropped open in shock, she watched as Harry Styles appeared onscreen in nothing but a pair of sweatpants. His hair was messy, as if he'd just been sleeping or a storm had just run through it. The video quality wasn't great because it was a live stream, but Brynn couldn't help but think he looked so cute and warm with his sleepy eyes, especially as he stretched his arms above his head, though her eyes nearly bugged out of her head when the waistband of his sweatpants dropped a centimeter. Not even caring that they'd fallen a bit, Harry shuffled forward and sat down next to Y/n and kissed her shoulder. He didn't seem to notice Y/n's phone propped up in front of her, or the look of disbelief and slight horror on her face. Not when she tried to speak to him, and not when he leaned forward to kiss her cheek.

And through it all Brynn watched, feeling like she'd entered an alternate dimension.

"You look cute. I like the sparkle," Harry said, tapping his knuckle against Y/n's nose. She still looked like she was in shock, but when he leaned in—leaned in to kiss her, Brynn realized—Y/n seemed to shake off some of her stupor.

"We—We're not alone," she said, gently resting her fingers over Harry's mouth to stop him.

Brynn didn't want to tear her eyes away from Harry and Y/n, but she darted her gaze down to the comment section, which confirmed everything. This was no dream, this was really happening, and everyone who was watching was losing their minds.

"What do you mean, lovie?" Harry asked, brows furrowing, clearly confused by Y/n's odd behavior. He finally looked at the camera, his brows shooting up when he realized that Y/n was live streaming all of this. "Oh."

"Yeah 'oh.'"

"I thought you were on the phone—"

"I wasn't!"

"Well, how was I supposed to know! You didn't tell me. And since when—"

"Harry put a shirt on!"

Brynn watched their bickering in a daze, waiting for the inevitable end of the live stream. To her surprise, though, Harry grinned a little before taking Y/n—and the whole Internet, to be honest—by surprise and kissing her.

"Are you insane?"

Harry merely shrugged. He leaned in again, but Y/n pushed his face back with the palm of her hand. They began to bicker again, but this time, Y/n scrambled for her phone in the process.

"You drive me crazy."

"Now, I know that's not true."

"Harry Edward Styles, I swear to God—"

And just like that, the live stream ended with a wink. Brynn stared down at her phone almost as if she was waiting for Harry and Y/n to reappear on her screen. They didn't, and she was left sitting alone in her bedroom, wondering what the hell had just happened.

#harry styles #harry styles x makeup artist! yn #harry styles blurb #harry styles x reader #harry styles fanfic #harry styles oneshot #harry styles imagine #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles x you #harry styles fluff #harry styles writing #harry styles one shot #harry styles fic

[moonlezn]

Try Hard II

punk bassist!jeno x female!reader genre: fluff wc: 2k part I - part III a/n: this is a bit longer than I'd planned and maybe there's too much chenji best friend agenda. I did it for me and my fellow chenji baddies. this is so cute and honestly i hope you read it well <3disclaimers: mentions of piercings, some swearing. i'm not sorry for having done these edits of jeno with a labret piercing.

[6:58am] 

jisung: wake the fuck up  jisung: we’re gonna be late jisung: cmon LOSER jisung: fr i don’t wanna come into your room jisung: i’m gonna lose my mind and scream if you don't get up rn

the faint buzz under the pillow rolled you out of your sleep, lazily you got the electronic device in your hands, seeing your friend’s notifications. shit, you thought. snoozing would get you in trouble once again. great.

getting out of bed was harder than you thought. dragging your feet, you made your way towards the door so as to open it for jisung. he sighed in relief upon seeing you and happily got in after you motioned for him to enter the space. “you gotta stop snoozing. for real.” he whispered, not wanting to get on your bad side so early. you mumbled ‘good morning to you too’ in response. he chuckled lightly and watched as you gathered your things to get ready.

-

after that day’s lecture, having cooled off from the hectic run to avoid being late, chenle, jisung and you were hanging out near some other students on campus. the bodypiercer placed a finger under your chin and took a closer look at your recent piercing. “how’s it healing?”

“is it what you wanted?” his question implied another meaning, which you acknowledged by his discreet wink. 

you held back a grin, glancing away from your friends. and as if the universe was trying to play a prank on you, you see him. confidently walking around one of the halls heading the opposite direction from the three of you. his bass kept him company, as usual. jeno probably felt your eyes on him because he quickly scanned the area over his shoulder seemingly looking for something he didn’t find.

“it is.” you said to your friend, who smirked, realizing you understood his intentions. “but I’ve got to try harder, you know?”

“isn’t it just soap and saline solution to clean up? how the hell could you try harder than that?” jisung pointed out and both you and chenle grinned knowingly, nodding at his direction at the same time. “you’re weird.”

“what’s up, renjun?” the purple haired announced the third boy’s proximity. he held a friendly smile on his lips as he took the remaining steps towards the group to have a seat next to you. 

renjun was the coolest and sweetest guy on campus, everybody knew him for outdoing all other international relations students and for his insane parties. the boy went all for having fun and making the most of his college experience while working his ass off to be the best he could be. just impossible, people would say. nobody dared to say a bad thing about him, though; hoping to God to be invited to one of his famous events. that had never been a problem for you. since chenle was his childhood friend, you eventually became friendly with each other. 

“you’re coming on saturday?” he asked, expectant eyes looking at each of you, when he landed on your forced grin. “no! you’re coming!” he shook his head negatively. “please? louise is gonna be there, you’re the closest thing to a friend she has.” louise was his situationship and the girl from the same class you’d been hanging out with since she transferred. “please?” 

you tried looking away from the three pair of eyes that expected your answer, already acknowledging no wasn’t possible. it’d been a while since you went out and spent time with lou and some other friends. “alright, alright! i’m going.”

-

jeno’s fingertips were sore from playing his acoustic bass by now, but he didn’t mind. he’d been absentmindedly following the melody of creep by radiohead, his favorite song. it wasn’t like he didn’t notice people were intimidated by him frequently and that had never bothered him, not until it stopped him from being closer to someone he liked. 

he became hyper aware of people taking glances at him and moving awkwardly to the side so he could go on walking. also the stutters when he asked to take part in group projects, which never lasted long after people got to know him, started to annoy him a lot. most of the time they seemed to think he was tough and mean, even though that was far from the truth. 

the boy even considered changing his style, quitting the band or whatever change he could make to seem more likable. however, that was just who he was, so he was trying to shut up those foolish ideas by drowning himself in music once again. 

ARCADERS AKA BEST BAND ever 

haechan: bow down to ur king haechan: SUMMONING THIS BAND where r y’all haechan: fr i need to tell u guys smth haechan: URGENT SOS HELLO R U THERE

jeno: what the fuck is this about 

no sooner did the non-stop dings coming from the phone on the floor broke his trance, than he was checking the band’s group chat.

jaemin: this is good jaemin: he’s not joking

jisung: well where is he now

haechan: glad to know i’m so loved

jisung: uhm embarrassing ..?

haechan: n e ways got us a gig on thursday

jaemin: TELL THEM WHERE IT IS

jeno: hope it’s not wild’s hated playing there 

haechan: i’d tell u to guess but i’m just losing my mind  haechan: it’s ANL 

jisung: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT 

haechan: yeah invite chenle and our groupie she’s got to be there

chenle, jisung and you were on the way back home when the tallest suddenly stopped on his track, staring at his phone screen for a few minutes, white as a sheet. having no idea what was going on, you tried shaking him and asking what was going on a few times but he just smiled brightly and turned his messages for both of you to read.

“oh my GOD!” you yelled.

“NO WAY, JISUNG! ARCADERS AT ANL.”

“you guys HAVE to be there!” his friends ruffled his hair lovingly.

-

you were alone at the bar, waiting for your fifth drink to be done. the atmosphere tonight was exciting and nerve-wracking at the same time. the band was already backstage getting ready for they’d play soon, but oh were they shaking. they had been waiting for this opportunity for quite some time, it almost didn’t feel real for them. ANL was the biggest pub around and it was well-known for having introduced the best local rock musicians.

the bartender handed the beautiful pink drink to you and your journey to meet your friends in the back started. the place was packed, so walking was difficult. you recognized a few faces on the way and had a few dialogs here and there. many friends of the boys stopped you to ask about them or wish good luck. 

you entered a door and found them inside the small room, haechan being the first to see you. “GROUPIE!” he exclaimed and the boys turned around to see you at the door. jisung sighed in relief and clung onto you.

“i’m so nervous.” the words slipped out of his lips when his face was buried in your hair. 

“you can do this, ji. you’re the best drummer. our rockstar!” you could feel his smile on his cheek, then he let you go to say your hellos.

you scanned the room almost as bright eyed as them, stopping at jeno. he looked so… good, it took everything in you not to look like a fool. the chains on his neck complemented his pretty eye makeup so well, not to mention the leather jacket hugging his strong arms and back. you couldn’t help but notice his lips were glistening and a new black jewelry was there, a labret piercing. of course he noticed you staring, but you only realized that when your eyes found his. this time, neither of you looked away. the intensity flickering in his orbs woke the damn butterflies in your stomach and you had to fight back the urge to kiss him. ‘one more drink and you’d be done for, jeno lee’ you thought.

“oh good, you just got here?” chenle’s voice broke your little staring contest. your friend grinned at you, pointing to the huge backpack on his shoulders. “brought an extra camera so you can help me take some pictures for their insta, alright?”

“am i getting paid?” 

“shut up.” 

the staff came in a few minutes later and gave the two of you a pass that allowed you to stay between the stage and the barricade, for the pictures. suddenly everything felt real as they had less than 20 minutes to get in. the host announced them once more for the almost three hundred people there among friends, some admirers of the band and LOTS of students from the surrounding colleges who didn’t know them. tonight their word would spread around like fire. 

“so, you like the surprise?” chenle asked, looking at you through the camera. 

“i consider that betrayal, for your information” your answer made him throw his head back, laughing like a little kid. “what? a labret piercing isn’t a betrayal?” 

“well, i consider it a present. and seeing the way you were staring…” he nudged you playfully, but the music stopped and the host came back on stage. the highly anticipated concert was about to start, so you just stuck your tongue out to your friend. 

their entrance was big, everyone screamed to hype them up and they started with their own version of all the small things by blink 182. you swear you couldn’t even hear haechan over the audience. you took many pictures of them, sang together and admired their surprised smiles and stage personas in between performances. 

at some point jaemin and jeno came to the front to have a small battle to show their guitar and bass skills, making the room go crazy. right after that, the vocalists screamed jisung’s name and he started to show off. chenle exchanged a proud look with you, all of you feeling an immense happiness. 

so many girls were screaming their names, haechan mouthed the word ‘groupies’ at you, to which he received a middle finger in his direction. 

the setlist had almost come to an end, there was only one song left. feeling on top of the world, haechan played with the public. “ANL, you’re such a good crowd.” they screamed. “unfortunately, we’ve come down to our last song.” a very loud ‘aawwww’ was heard and the boys chuckled among themselves. as the sunkissed singer spoke, the others changed their instruments. jaemin got an acoustic guitar, followed by jeno with his acoustic bass and the staff placed a cajón for jisung in front of the drums. “we prepared a very special song for you, beautiful people. thank you so much for coming tonight!” they cheered once more.

the first chords to wonderwall by oasis were played by jaemin, the other instruments following the softer melody. haechan’s sweet voice compelled the watchers to sing along, pouring their hearts out.

you felt a tap on your shoulder as you registered this breathtaking moment of the band. turning your attention to the person who tapped you, you see chenle wiggling his eyebrows in jeno’s way. turns out his gaze was burning your skin together with the words dripping from his lips so faintly, only someone so close as you would understand he was following the lyrics.

And all the roads we have to walk are winding

And all the lights that lead us there are blinding

There are many things that I would like to say to you, but I don't know how

the bassist didn’t know what had gotten into him, maybe it was the performance thrill. he honestly didn’t try to find an explanation. during their songs, you were the one getting his attention all the time. you were having so much fun, singing out loud, exchanging jokes with your best friend, showing some people the band’s social media… it clicked. he realized he would never have to change to be around you. he felt so silly. and then, a sudden boldness rushed through him to let you know there’s something he must tell you.

#nct fluff #nct dream fluff #nct fic #nct dream soft hours #lee jeno fluff #lee jeno x reader #nct dream x reader #nct dream imagines #nct imagines #jeno fluff #jeno imagines #nct scenarios #nct dream scenarios #jeno fanfic #nct dream fanfic #nct fanfic #nct x reader #nct dream college au #nct college au #nct timestamps #nct dream timestamps #nct drabbles #nct dream drabbles #jeno drabbles #jeno

[w3bgrl]

how can i say it

synopsis: cantsay is a skz-record track written and produced by juyeon march third, 2021. however, cantsay was actually originally a song she released predebut that had long-lasting effects on a certain somebody.

date: march 4th, 2018

word count: 1.8k

featuring: kang juyeon, seo changbin

warnings: n/a

a/n: listen to cantsay here. keep your eyes peeled for a post with all of juyeon’s songs! also ٩( ᐛ )و this took 4 separate attempts to write so i may come back and fix it at some point sorry <3

changbin took a deep breath as he approached the studio door, palms sweaty in his balled fists. surely, she was here, but that’s exactly what worried him. he hadn’t spoken to her since last night and was pretty sure his judgment was still hazy from her update on soundcloud.

before he could work up an excuse to turn around and chalk this up as a missed opportunity changbin raised his knuckles to the door and knocked lightly. it was silent on the other side - there was honestly no noise at all, not even the familiar buzz of the fluorescent lights. he chewed on his bottom lip.

maybe he was wrong. maybe the dots he had connected weren’t actually there and now he was just knocking on the door of an empty room. the possibility that he had brought himself to a dead end irritated him on top of everything else and he brought his fist to the door again just to be sure. this time he knocked hard, loud enough that if there was someone inside there would be no way they could ignore it.

this time, however, there was a discernible boom! from inside the studio before he could hear the shuffling of footsteps. changbin was utterly unprepared when juyeon cracked open the door to the dark room with her hand on her knee. her curly hair was disheveled and sticking up by her ears as if she had carelessly shoved her headphones off.

“jeez,” she laughed once she recognized him and let him inside “you scared me! what are you doing here?” changbin made note of how she rushed to close her most recent project before he sat down.

“just checking on you. when were you planning on going home?”

“uh,” she sighed "soon…maybe? what time is it?”

changbin smiled warmly. typically, curfew was 10 pm. sometimes it could be flexible due to practices running later than planned, but everyone was supposed to be at least in their dorms by 10 pm. knowing her, her phone must’ve died long before he arrived.

"it's midnight." he said gently.

juyeon's cheeks bloomed a peachy pink and she tucked her hair behind her ears. "oh…good."

"it's okay, you're not in trouble or anything" he reassured her "chan asked if i'd heard from you, so i came to see if you'd be here."

changbin paid attention to how her lips pressed together as she hummed before she turned away from him to shut her laptop down. “what gave me away?” she asked over her shoulder.

“huh?”

she glanced back at him, the majority of her face obscured by her long brown locks. “how’d you know i was here?”

his mouth made an ‘o’ shape once he understood what she was saying. "you always post before leaving the studio. i thought maybe you came back to work on something else."

he was referencing the new song she had posted on soundcloud the night before. she had a habit of finishing up songs in the early hours of the morning and posting it before she went home for the night. so when chan reported her as missing to changbin and jisung half an hour ago, he had a strong sense that she would be back in the studio.

juyeon pushed her laptop into her bag before she turned back to him. her gaze pierced through the darkness like a spotlight when she met his eyes. “so…you saw my new song?” she asked, her cadence strange — as if she was finding the words along the way.

‘saw’ was a gross understatement. changbin had turned her post notifications on a while ago to make sure he could be the first to hear whatever creation she had gifted to the world of soundcloud, so of course he clicked on the notification as he was doom scrolling well into the morning. and of course he listened to it, first admiring the instrumentals paired with her honey-smooth voice. but about halfway into the song he started to actually comprehend what she was saying in the lyrics and something began to ache on the inside.

“tell me first about how you feel about me. i wonder if it’s possible for us, will we be able to love each other someday? i know i'm not your type. i just tend to be delusional, i'm totally fine being your sisi right now. i don't wanna make things awkward with words. i like it just how it is now. how can i say it? let’s pretend we’re just friends.”

as the moon started to fall from his view, changbin sat up in his bed and grabbed his chest as if he was having a heart attack. it felt like his feelings had been hit by a truck. there were a thousand different thoughts in his mind and all of them conflicted with each other; it wasn’t about him, but he felt so connected to it he could have written it himself. but certainly - most definitely - it was not about him. juyeon was not the type to like guys like him, he probably wouldn’t even cross her mind in that aspect. too much of a brother, maybe. or perhaps these were old lyrics about someone else she’d known a long time ago. or maybe it was about someone they were set to debut with soon.

whatever it was, the more he denied the idea that he was the subject of her pining, the more he longed for it. because when he thought about juyeon, those same words came to mind. ‘i know i’m not your type, not tall enough or cool enough. i’m totally fine being your ‘bro’ right now, i don’t want to change things by saying something that doesn’t need to be said. let’s pretend we’re just friends.’

the honest truth was; changbin always liked juyeon. who didn’t? she was thoughtful and warm and talented - not to mention how obviously beautiful she was. and the more he got to know her, the more this magnetism became apparent. so he vowed early on to never look too deep into this feeling - hide it away and leave it be.

— and then he listened to her new song. it re-inflicted that yearning that he honestly hadn't really come to terms with. a yearning that he couldn't even begin to think of describing, not because he didn't know what it was, but because he did.

changbin spent the rest of the night listening to this song while he made lists in his head of all the reasons this was a bad idea; why he was just a friend, or why he maybe could be a little bit more than a friend.

“yeah” he responded simply in the hopes she wouldn’t prod any further. that doesn’t mean he thought she actually would.

juyeon finally put all of her things away and zipped her bag to sling it over her shoulders, fingertips reaching to twist the ends of her hair. “and?” her voice was so soft he almost couldn’t hear her.

‘and; it hits a little too close to home right now, so i’d say it’s great for when you’re hopelessly doomed by the universe. you really got the pathetic pining down to a science’

“it was good.” changbin opened the door for her “you always have such interesting beats.”

she stepped into the hall and waited for him before starting their short walk back home. “thanks. took me a week.” although she didn’t say anything outwardly glum, changbin felt a shift in her demeanor, like she had been let down by his short response. he cleared his throat.

“and um — it really tells a story, i think. it sounds like you wrote it in the moment, you know what i mean? it’s almost like you were telling the other person directly…you know?”

he analyzed her out of the corner of his eye and he swore she was biting the smile from her lips, her hands in her hair again. another habit she probably didn’t know anyone else noticed.

the pair arrived to the elevators where their journey home split in two different directions; the girls’ dorm above the practice rooms while the boys’ was below. usually the boys said their goodbyes to juyeon and took different elevators to hurry back to their beds for the night, but tonight as they stopped in front of the elevators, she turned to changbin with a sparkle in her eyes.

“wanna make sure i get home safe?”

his eyebrows knit together with a confused smile. “what do you mean?”

she shrugged as she pressed the call button. “elevators are super dangerous — i’m sure — you should ride up with me to make sure i survive the trip home.”

the elevator arrived on their floor and the doors opened with a ding! changbin swallowed thick as she held the door open and gestured for him to get in, a mischievous smile on her lips. how could he say no?

changbin made quick strides into the elevator and pressed the button for floor 5 whilst she leaned against the railing inside. once the doors finally closed she nodded at him. “see? super dangerous.”

juyeon’s strange demeanor was scrambling his brain like eggs and he had to shake his head to sift for any conscious thoughts. “what is this?”

she laughed “nothing. i’m just in a good mood.”

“well, this is a weird mood, but i’m glad you’re having a good time.” changbin now noticed her messy hair again, and although he thought it was kinda cute, he knew her well enough to know that he’d be scolded for not at least telling her. “your hair’s all messed up.”

juyeon suddenly frowned and began running her nails through her hair, missing the right spot every time by the grace of god. “why didn’t you say anything before?”

changbin stifled a chuckle but couldn’t hide the smirk that came to his face at her response. “here,” he took a step into her space and ran his fingers through the soft brown hair above her ears to brush any stray hairs back in place. however, he was distracted by her big eyes staring up at him.

“what?”

he watched as the sparkles in her eyes disappeared and became half-crescent moons to compliment the smile on her face. “nothing! i just like to do this thing where i use my eyes to see.”

changbin opened his mouth to say something when the elevator stopped and the doors reopened.

ding!

juyeon laughed again and pretended to wipe sweat from her brow. “whew, we made it!” she fled their proximity into the hallway and turned back to the flabbergasted boy. “thanks for getting me home safe. i’ll see you tomorrow, changbin.”

all he could say was “yeah, goodnight, juyeon.” the elevator doors began to close and he could see her waving until they shut completely, leaving changbin in the sobering, silent elevator ride down to floor 3 like a descent to hell — a hell where he’d lay wide eyed in bed with his headphones entirely too loud for months to come.

#♡ billie #♡ binchu #skz oc #stray kids oc #stray kids #stray kids 9th member #stray kids imagines #seo changbin imagines #changbin imagines #kpop added member #kpop oc #kpop addition

[deusluxuria]

( Spoilers: Part 5 / Golden Wind, anime exclusively )

( Content Warning: vague CSA mention )

I seem to have been picking up that a lot of people feel off-put by Fugo's story that was added in the anime, and I understand it being jarring, particularly because of the subject matter.

But it stands out to me a lot more just how many people seem to surface out of nowhere (i.e. people I don't usually see in my notifs) when I write something about it on here, because it's so horrifically common of an experience to be abused like that as a kid and to just have nobody care.

Everyone is different but honestly I had a sort of relapse recently where I went back to that place mentally. Haven't been able to get out of it since. And in my experience, having that in your background really can make you so freaking angry and it can be so hard not to lash out at anyone who gets even close to you or is even slightly rude to you, because you have this deeply ingrained, instinctual belief that you only have yourself and you're the only one who can protect you or care about you.

You're always tearing apart at the seams. Every insult, every unexpected entrance into your bubble can just feel like it's happening all over again. I have OCD and it's most definitely connected to CSA; everything feels so personal and like a direct attack.

And when you feel like you have no one but yourself, no support system, no one who cares -- it's so exhausting because you're always carrying everything by yourself. And it's all on you: to control your anger, to "calm down," to think about things rationally, and it's not fair because you're not the one who made the mess.

The added context to Fugo's anger and his terrifying Stand was validating.

#panacotta fugo #fugo panacotta #fugo pannacotta #pannacotta fugo #golden wind #vento aureo #jojo's bizarre adventure #jjba

[justabigassnerd]

okay ngl I really didn't want to make this post but it's been building up inside me for maybe just over a week now so I just need to get my feelings out

for the past few days, I've been getting an influx of spam likers, which honestly I don't mind too much but there's been a few that literally liked my fics one after another (like I just watched my phone get repeated notifications) and it was just giving vibes that people just aren't reading my stuff, like I'm not joking before I uploaded my most recent fic I went days without a single reblog and it appears to be going back to that even now

I've gotten a significant decrease in reblogs/comments and it's making my motivation to write anything dwindle as well. even my latest Hangman junior fic got a ratio of 103 likes to 11 reblogs w/ one comment. I'm not saying you have to comment on my fics (if you're not confident in doing it on the post itself my ask box is open and you can send something on anon) but reblogs spread my work around and make me feel like people are actually enjoying my work

rn I'm getting the vibe people aren't enjoying my stuff anymore and it's just heartbreaking to think bc I spend so much time and effort making these fics and I feel like I'm fucking up somehow

sorry for that rant but I needed to get it out I'm not trying to sound entitled

#justabigassnerd #justabigassnerd rambles #justabigassnerd rants #tw rant #rant post #random rant #writer rant

[rodentgoth]

.X| "Answer Phone" - Ch.4 |X.

◄ Prev Chapter \\Fic Playlist\\Ship Playlist\\ Next Chapter ►

Once again thank you to my girlie @candy12110 for co-writing/editing with me for the rest of the story!

let's pretend the drones didn't blow up the train, M'kay?

Rating:: 13+ // Teen

Fandom:: Homestuck

Themes/Kinks:: None

Chixie sat on the floor of the train car, her anxiety rattling her just a bit. She had already been worried because of Zebruh, but seeing a purpleblood on the platform made it skyrocket. Her thinkpan was throbbing just imagining dealing with more highbloods at Jeevik week. Though, she wouldn't let the daunting thoughts ruin this for her. A week-long train ride might be the only time she could actually relax, despite the noise of the crowded car.  The universe was clearly moving things around for her.

 She had even made two new friends on the platform, a bronze blood, Joey, and a burgundy blood, Xefros. They were both nice enough, but what amazed her was when Joey just walked up to Marvus. She quickly turned her head the minute she saw her walk up to him. She expected to hear screaming, the sound of bodyguards or drones rushing in to defend the clown. So it came as a surprise when she heard none of that, but instead heard him talking to them. He seemed to be actually enjoying their company. Even weirder he appeared to be helping them, he didn't even ask for anything in return. Part of her wanted to believe he was doing all this with good intentions, but she was still skeptical. She'd had one too many fake friends, most of whom were highbloods, take everything from her. From her music to her whole persona as an artist, the only reason it hadn’t happened a lot recently was cause of Zebruh, and he was the fakest, horniest, “friend” she’d ever had. It was purely by the grace of Troll Jesus that he was such a simp she could just flatter him and get out of anything physical. Though she knew that won’t work forever, and that only added to her nervousness. 

She needed this protest to go well, she wanted…no- needed people to recognize her for who she was and not just the indigo who promotes her. And if she dies, then fuck it, at least she went out speaking her truth. She’d honestly rather get culled than have to spend another second with Zebruh. She was broken out of her anxious thoughts by the sound of her palmhusk going off. She checked her notifications to see messages from her favorite burgundy blood friend…and Zebruh. She stalled for a few seconds to decide whose message to answer first before. She chose to check Zebruh’s first to keep him from ruining whatever good mood Red would put her in::

THECODAKKEFFECT:: Hey do you want me to bring you to the indigo car? I know the lowblood cars can be pretty crowded! You can sit on my lap and stay in my room if you want!❤️

Chixie grimaced at the thought of having to have any more physical contact with him.She swiftly texted back::

Chixie:: No thanks. I found a seat so I'm fine!

She tried to be as calm and direct as she could, it was already taking all her strength not to completely go off at him. She was so tired of talking to him, she really thought he was done for the week. She assumed that with all the purple bloods and other blue bloods around he wouldn't have the energy to bother her but of course, she was wrong. He's still just as horny as ever and behaving like an absolute oinkbeast.

She heard the device ping again, but she didn’t bother to read it. She already knew he would just whine and beg until she caved in. She finally turned her attention to the message of Red::

R3dSplatter:: I’m on the train now! I’m helping out my matesprit in the teal and jade blood car. 

She cocked her head at the device. A burgundy with a midblood matesprit? 

Now, Chixie didn’t care or pay much attention to the hemospectrum when it came to quadrants, but that sounded highly unlikely, bordering on unbelievable. Jades never left the caverns and Teals never got into any relationships that didn't benefit them. Unless this relationship with Red's matesprit was of the Zebruh variety where they're being completely taken advantage of, it felt impossible.

Chixie:: Oh you have a matesprit…Are they nice to you?  R3dSplatter:: Of course, they're nice to me! They're my matesprit. Chixie:: No, I know. I just wanted to be sure. I'm also in contact with someone of a higher blood caste and they're not that great.   R3dSplatt3r:: Are they your matesprit?  Chixie:: Absolutely not! R3dSplatter:: Then why do you talk to them? Chixie:: I only stay near cause, right now, he’s my ONLY means of making ends meet. He's the only thing keeping me from losing all my gigs at this point. And he's a critic so he could ruin my whole career, if he wanted. But besides that, he's a skeevy creep that hits on every lowblood troll he ever meets. R3dSplatter:: Sounds like a real pain in the ass. You must really hate him. Chixie:: I do, Highbloods aren't all that great to be around for trolls like us. Sorry if I was being insensitive about your matesprit but I've seen what happens when a lowblood is in a relationship with a highblood. It's not pretty. R3dSplatter:: Don’t worry, I’ve seen it too. I can promise you they’re the sweetest I’ve ever met. But if I had to deal with someone like that, I’d be cautious too. Chixie:: That’s why I need this performance to go well, if everything works out at Jeevik Week, maybe I can finally move on from him! R3dSplatter:: I wish you the best, You deserve only greatness.

The bronzeblood felt her face grow warm at that comment, but something still didn’t feel right about all this. A voice in her thinkpan kept telling her something was off about Red but she just couldn't figure out what it was. She didn't hate or distrust them, in fact, they were the nicest troll she'd ever met. It didn't feel like they were only being nice because they wanted something from her but she kept doubting what they told her. It just felt like someone that was either really naive or hadn't experienced the terror of Alternia yet. And knowing what she knew there was no way someone of an even lower blood caste than her could be protected from the horrors of this planet for long. Even newborn grubs didn't get that privilege, let alone someone around her age. 

Chixie tried to not think about it anymore. Red had been the most supportive friend she'd made and they weren't looking to hurt or pail her. Why ruin such a pure relationship with hypothetical and vague doubts? 

Chixie:: Thank you! How about we meet up later? I'd be happy to meet your matesprit as well!

She closed the messages and put her palm husk away. No more interruptions and no more stress. A week of no Zebruh and no stress. Just her, the fifty other trolls in the car, and her thoughts.

**

Chixie's body was going to ache for weeks. The train had sped up out of nowhere, forcing her to hold on to the chair leg for dear life as a pile of bodies lined the back of the car. Miraculously, she was alive despite the violent speed of the train. If she were any weaker she would've splattered like a wriggler on the cavern floors, luckily, she only got whiplash. Unfortunately, she had no lodgings for the now week-long stay until Jeevik week started. Even worse, Zebruh survived and asked if she would like to share a hivetel room with him. She whipped out her palmhusk faster than Troll Usain Bolt to ask Cridea about accommodations. Cridea answered her, there was potential free lodging for performers. She, of course, took it in a heartbeat, she would do anything to avoid sharing a room with Zebruh. That reminded her she needed to check on Red, maybe Xefros, and Joey too.

Chixie:: Red are you okay? I hope you didn't get hurt on the train.

Chixie texted but received no answer. She waited a few minutes before she actually got worried.

Chixie:: Red are you good? You're worrying me. Please answer me.

Chixie started to panic, frantically texting her missing friend. Someone bumped into her, breaking her out of it. She took a deep breath and stopped herself. It was entirely possible Red was just busy with their matesprit or even could've lost their palm husk in the struggle. She decided to just keep calm. She had to perform in a week and wasn’t about to stress herself even more. She would take a walk to get her mind off of things.

She wandered around the concert venue and the various dressing rooms. To her surprise, the lowblood dressing rooms were pretty nice, at least compared to other places she performed. Despite being fully furnished, they were very spacious, there was even a food storage unit! Chixie put up her costumes and backup gear before going to look at herself in the vanity mirror. She's been waiting for an opportunity like this for a long time, and it still felt unreal that it was coming to fruition. She looked at herself for a few seconds more before taking a breath and turning with a skip in her step, walking to the door. Because they arrived so early she had time to take in the sites and actually enjoy herself. She opened the door, excited to look around, only to see a cluster of different casted trolls screaming and crowding around something. She was curious as to what was going on, and that’s when she noticed the lopsided horns and clown makeup. It was that Marvus guy again.

The bronzeblood instinctively narrowed her eyes to the exit, doing her best not to glance at him for even a second. Over the many sweeps she'd been alive she'd perfected the art of avoiding being on any highblood's radar. Unfortunately, her only and biggest failure to date was her meeting with Zebruh, that bastard could smell a lowblood from 50 miles away. Hopefully, the purpleblood wasn't as chronically horny for lowbloods as he was, so she could get by without getting sucked into the crowd and moshed to death. She moved along the wall as fast as she could, pushing past anyone in her way, and apologizing profusely while doing so. She jerked back when a hand grabbed her arm, and she spun around to face an excited olive blood.

"Hey! Can you take a picture of me with Marvus real quick?" She asked excitedly. It was more of a demand, but Chixie was too panicked to even care. She froze immediately, desperately wanting to say no, but this fan seemed awfully young and excited, borderline pushy.

"S-s-sure?" Chixie squeaked out. The olive blood squealed and shoved her palmhusk into her hands. She scrambled to grasp it before it could fall and break, potentially bringing her more pain than she was already going through.

Chixie held onto the device as if her life depended on it which, knowing how fierce olives tend to be, it just might. They both made their way to the middle of the clump, where the clown stood. Chixie did her best to avoid looking at him directly but her nerves were already on fire from being so close to so many trolls of a higher caste than her. She couldn't help but notice Marvus's eyes constantly flickering towards her in between sending smiles and waving at his fans. Why did she have to catch the attention of so many damn highbloods, and the day wasn't even over yet. She should've known only bad things would happen the second she left her dressing room and saw the same purple pecs that Zebruh was so obsessed with.

The small olive gasped and gawked as she walked up to him. She started going on about how much she loved him, how she wanted to be as rich and famous as him one day, prolonging the bronze girl’s torture. Luckily, Marvus eventually cut her off and offered to take a picture with her. It was like he had already heard the entire exchange and was just trying to move things along so Chixie could leave faster. If she didn't already know no highblood would be kind enough to care about her comfort, she would cry in thanks to him.

He scooped the olive girl up into his arms, giving his widest smile. It took Chixie a second to fully calm her nerves and take the picture. But, after the flash went off no more than twice Marvus immediately let go of the olive and moved on to the next person, leaving the girl just enthralled enough to take her palmhusk from Chixie without complaint, or a “thank you” for that matter. She immediately dived out of the crowd the second the device left her hand and jetted out of the hall. She didn't stop running until she was outside and could no longer hear the clatter of all of Marvus's fans.

She found herself panting and wheezing for air. She felt like throwing up, just barely managing to keep it in, when she felt a hand pat her on the back.

“Are you okay?”, a familiar voice said to her. She turned her head to see Joey, with Xefros standing behind her, both equally concerned.

“Ye-yeah I’m fine,” She said as she slowly straightened her posture. 

How embarrassing. 

Running into her newest friends only to be caught dry heaving outside.

“Just a bit…nervous.” She fidgeted with her fingers a bit, her nerves still rattling.

"Are you sure? We can go get something to drink to settle your stomach," Joey offered, offering her arm to Chixie in assistance.She wrapped her arm around Joey’s to settle herself.

“No, no! I’m Okay really!” 

"Hmmm- oh! We have some cookies! Maybe eating that will help?" She happily offered. It was becoming clearer to Chixie that Joey wasn’t gonna give up till she was one hundred percent okay. Which she admired deeply, she just really wasn’t used to being treated like this, by…anyone really. She settled on eating a few cookies, she actually hadn’t eaten anything all day. She wasn't expecting to be offered food either so this was a welcome change. She can now say she doesn't completely regret coming outside. Joey looked at the slight smile on Chixie's as she ate the cookie and sent a quick look to Xefros that he exasperatedly nodded to. She put on a gentle grin before looking back at Chixie.

"Hey, do you want to join us? We're looking around cause we've never been here before. We would love for you to tag along,"  Joey said with a friendly smile.

Chixie became extremely flustered. She had been referring to them as her friends in her head but she didn't expect them to actually want to spend time with her. 

Stress-free time spent with people that actually liked her for who she was and not what she could do for them? This was very very new to her, and she loved it. She tripped over her tongue for a bit before shutting her mouth and nodding rapidly.

"I'd love to hang out with you two!" She could see it now. No judgment, no expectations, no getting ordered around or felt up. It would be glorious. 

"Great, let's go!”Joey immediately grabbed her hand and Xefros’s and with a skip in her step, they were off exploring the various vendors and pre-shows.

#fanfic #mine #fanfiction #fic #homestuck #chixie roixmr #hiveswap #hiveswap chixie #hiveswap marvus #marvus x chixie #hiveswap joey #hiveswap xefros #xefros tritoh

[booksandchainmail]

Pale 10.4

oooh, I wasn't sure we'd get a Verona chapter this arc

“Can’t show you this one, Tash.” Tashlit, lounging on a beach towel, reached toward her waist and gestured. “No, this one isn’t rude."

I like the unstated "gesture"

Tashlit held up a finger.  One.  Then the ‘what?’ gesture. “The first most recent email is a reminder from Ding Phones that my prepaid phone account is almost out of funds, please visit the site to top up.”

I'm reminded of a great bit from Bloom Into You where the protagonist is eagerly awaiting a response from love interest, and when her phone pings it's an automated version update notification

“My mom tried to give me the dumbed down explanations but it felt a lot like I was in the way.  So I gave the excuse I had to get stuff sorted out.  And then we left a couple days after and we stopped in for a visit with her artist friend and I think that was meant for me.  Like, she thought I would be receptive and I’d get it and stuff, and it was cool to see the guy’s studio and stuff but like, I’m here and that guy’s alllll the way over there.”

I got to avoid this as a kid: if the people coming over for dinner were family friends who would want to talk with me I would stay, if not I could eat early and then just hang out elsewhere instead of having to stay at the table while conversations went over my head.

“Oh.  Disappointed, but not disappointed in me.  Maybe.”

disappointed in her own parenting skills?

Verona grabbed her book, flipped back a few pages, and found the image she’d drawn after Tashlit had insisted she would take every art critique seriously.  It was rude: a crude and rude drawing of a guy hugging a two-foot-wide boner that came up to the top of his head.

well if all else fails you have a career path on furry twitter

Jeremy replied.  I don’t know how to respond except pic just made my week.  Have some pics of Sir.

oh big mood, I also start messages with "I don't know how to respond" or something similar. If I wait to try and find words for a good response I just never send it.

“Is my dad going to jail?” The words left her lips before she realized she’d asked. “Is that another priority, Verona? That your dad be punished?” It was subtle. The tone a little cooler than before, less warm. Oh. She’d fucked it. She’d thoroughly fucked it, hadn’t she? Because now the idea was in David’s head. That she’d had an argument with her dad and things had gone wrong and now she was a manipulator or she was trying to get back at him and he was a tool for her to do that.

I can't tell if the child protective services guy is geniunely disapproving, or if Verona is panicking and reading too much into it. Because tone cooling here could mean a lot of things (ie David worrying that things were worse than he thought). If it is that says bad things about him! Honestly my first thought in this scenario (especially Verona was talking about not wanting to move) would be that she was scared of hr life getting completely disrupted by her dad getting arrested.

It's also sad that Verona's first thought on getting a (possibly) negative reaction to a genuine emotion is worrying that it makes her look manipulative or petty, because that is 100% what her dad has been telling her

The way he looked off to one side here and there made her wonder if he felt like his time was being wasted, now.  Or misused.  He kept taking notes when there wasn’t anything to take notes on.

I think "kid in a protective meeting visibly panics when told their parent won't be arrested" is something to take notes on!

“Sits in bed and sobs and tells me everything I’m doing wrong and everything he’s doing wrong and stuff about my mom.” “Okay. How often is that?” “Two to six nights a week, except when I’m away, or like, not nights but in the kitchen after he gets home from work, he’ll start telling me I didn’t mow the lawn or whatever and then it gets into how much his coworkers suck.”

... that is more often than I thought it was. Six nights a week at max, gods.

“Exacerbated by life circumstances?” he asked.  He started to take a note. “Not- no,” she said. She watched him continue to take the note, ignoring the ‘no’. She could imagine that penned down ‘life circumstances’ taking all the heat out of what she was saying.

I cannot tell if Verona is reading this accurately and this guy is going to be useless or not. Leaning towards not because I want to be optimistic.

“The third was- we went shopping and I got on his case, called him a bad dad and stuff. I pushed his buttons on purpose, because I could. And he freaked and stopped the car in the middle lane of a three lane road and made me get out. Cars were honking their horns and passing on the left and right. And I had icecream I’d bought for myself I was too full to eat and it melted while I walked home. I guess that doesn’t count when I think about it.”

I MEAN YOU'RE RIGHT THAT ISN'T TECHNICALLY BREAKING YOUR THINGS BUT IT IS IN FACT MORE WORRYING FOR DIFFERENT REASONS

“When was this?” “Christmas.”

winter in Canada? Admittedly I don't know that much about the weather but that seems hazardous

How could she even put it into words?  It was pressure and pressure over years.  It was telling her dad about her problems and it never mattering because he always one-upped her, and that added up little by little.

fascinated to see what people have done for Worm-style powers for Verona based on this as a trigger event

“Are you and your dad close?” “No. I think he wants us to be.” “How does he want you to be close?” “Hanging out, watching movies. He’d rather I didn’t see my friends and instead went with him. I think he’s lonely.”

I normally think of this as a red flag in romantic relationships, but it's even more one in a familial relationship

It felt like every time he was making notes, he was taking down the statements or arguments she felt were weakest and most unimportant.  Or stuff that made her dad seem more okay than he was. Dad’s lonely, wants to bond with shitty daughter.

I really don't think that's why he's taking a note of it!

And also wow does Verona place the blame on herself all the time. No wonder she has self-esteem issues as part of the Kennet Trio, if this is how her dad has taught her to think of herself

…She wasn’t even sure what she wanted.  She wanted to land this entire thing in the zone where she left her dad’s and went to Jas’s.  That was the perfect outcome.  It’s bad, gotta take this girl out of there, it’s crushing her and making her feel small and broken.  So we pick her up and take her… no, that’s too far.  Where’s a place we can put her that’s out of the house but not that super far away… Jas’s house!

yesyesyesyesyes. The guy mentioned temporary custody earlier, could that be this?

And even if it wasn’t impossible she couldn’t burden Jas like that, especially if Jas had a job she wanted and no time or money.

this has also been my concern with what is otherwise the perfect solution. Would the government provide a stipend for caring for Verona? It's not like she takes a lot of maintenance time-wise

“Almost died?  Tell me about that.” “At this thing I went to at the start of summer. I don’t want to get into it, it…

I think that's the kind of thing he has to follow up on, actually. Verona's dad not wanting more info on this was a red flag, and I don't think Verona recognizes how weird that was

I mean, she can probably pass it off as like an outdoors accident at summer camp (storm while hiking, bridge broke, etc etc) but she should have to at least come up with a story!

“Right now we’re in a middle stage, deciding what the immediate needs are.  It doesn’t sound like you need to be removed from the home, and it doesn’t sound like you want to be removed from the home.”

:(

“I want to leave that house.  I don’t want to go back,” Verona said.  “But can’t I go to Jasmine’s, instead?  Can’t- isn’t there a way to-” Breath hitched.  She was aware her mom was sitting next to her.  “Can’t we- you guys give money to foster parents, right?  So couldn’t I go there, and couldn’t, um, you could give her money and I wouldn’t be a burden, and she’s a really good mom to Lucy and she’s lovely.”

the degree to which Verona is breaking down in this conversation is distressing

Verona didn’t know what to say when what she’d already said and how she’d reacted had probably hurt her mom, and her mom didn’t say anything.

eh, deserved

“Is it possible?  To give Verona what she wants?  I don’t imagine the money from the system going to her would be possible, like she suggested, but if we could divert child support, maybe?”

surprising W from Verona's mom! I mean, it means she doesn't have to change her life at all to accommodate her own child, so low bar, but this is also what Verona wants

“We’d be looking at… the schedule’s tight.  This looks like, hm, three at-home visits over three months.  During those visits, I or someone else with access to the file would be checking in to make sure that all course participation is maintained, that the house is safe.  I would check in with Verona.” “Only three visits?  She’s so upset right now.” “Resources are stretched thin.” “You’re sending her back to that house?”

well fuck.

Lowering my estimation of CAS right back down.

Guess it's time to see if we can get Verona set up with a Demesne she can live in?

“I finished talking with David Williams.  Then I called Jasmine, and I called your dad, and I called Jasmine again.” Verona looked up. “She’ll take you until the end of summer. Your dad agreed to it.”

oh fuck yes

And one way or another, by the end of summer things will be different

She was going to Jasmine’s.  What came after could be saved for after. The headache was gradually easing.

:)

“So he gave my mom a preliminary plan of three visits from CAS over three months, right?” Verona told Tashlit. Nod. “And that’s now going to be twelve over six.” Double nod. “And originally, anger management classes and parenting classes.  Now it’s anger management classes and parenting and therapy.”

on the one hand, bleak that it took the drawing to get this boosted. On the other, good that this is happening, and specifically that when Verona felt she couldn't get meaning across in words, she was able to use her art to communicate

“I hate that we go off and do our own things and we don’t cross paths. And it is entirely my fault as the mom that I let it happen. A part of me hoped my situation would change or we’d grow into new interests that did have those overlaps… I did with my mom. It took until I was seventeen or eighteen before I could talk to her, adult to adult. But I screwed up.”

Yeah you did! I mean I also didn't have a lot of shared interests with my mother as a teenager, and I still tease her about saying "You know, I actually like you as a person" when I was ~22 (liking the person I was as an independent adult, as opposed to just loving me as her daughter) (english is my mother's fourth language so phrasing is sometimes off). But she still did her best to understand my interests, and was always engaged in my life. Adult to adult is not the only way to have a strong relationship with your child!

“Call.  Anytime, any reason.  I would move heaven or earth for you.” “But you wouldn’t move,” Verona said

ouch

“Want to turn in earl-” her mom said, at the same time Verona said, “Want to look at my art?” “I would love to,” her mom replied.

baby steps :)

“Boyfriend material?” “Blegh. No. Not what I’m after.” “A boyfriend? Are you-?” “Nope. No, I wish. It’d be nice. No, it’s not the boyfriend part of that.  It’s the material part of that.  I’m immaterial.  Maybe I’ll get there, maybe I won’t, but not right now.  Lucy and Avery keep saying stuff like ‘uh oh’, poor Jeremy.” “That doesn’t sound friendly.” “It’s sorta accurate.  Because we’re hanging out and he likes me and I don’t like anyone like that, so…”

aro Verona rights

A figure stepped out of darkness, and it wasn’t the local Others come to check in with her or welcome her to the area.

UHM?

“You tell me.  Look what I found, or well, look who found me while I was out there!” At that cue, Miss stepped out from behind the power pole. Wind picked up and dust from the roadside hid her face.

oh fuck yes

“A good one,” Miss said, walking past the girls.  She walked up to Rook, and the two of them hugged.  “Hello, it’s been some time.”

huh! Didn't see that coming, but potentially very useful if they have Miss bridging the gap between them and Crooked Rook

“I asked Rook to make sure you three were more or less alright until I could find my way back.  She has, I hope.” “She said she didn’t want to associate with us.” “Maintaining that position let Matthew, Edith, and the rest draw their own conclusions about my intents and goals,” Rook said. “And it helps keep this secret right here.”

clever clever clever! This completly changes the balance of power in Kennet. Miss back, Crooked Rook as an ally, by extension Nibble and Chloe...

“Rook,” Miss said, sounding more than a little upset.  She turned her head Rook’s way, and Rook adjusted the position of the mask perfectly, in accordance with that.

this is cute

“As long as Montague could seize control of the diagram at any time, on Matthew and Edith’s request… Miss can’t come into Kennet.”

good counter for Miss, but I think Montague might be recruitable? something to work on

“I’m thinking back to a few nights ago.  At the factory.  Edith pretty much sent Chloe right at us.  She was aggressive with the furs, she’s been testing the rules.  What if we dealt with her, like, right away?” “Let’s,” Rook answered.

OwO

#pale #booksandchainmail reads pale #wildbow

[m0llygunn]

⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅*̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙*̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆ ⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅*̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙*̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆ ⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅*̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙*̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆ ⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅*̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙*̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆

TO SPREAD SOME HOLIDAY CHEER…LET’S PLAY A LITTLE GAME

𝐜𝐨𝐩𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞, 𝐭𝐚𝐠 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐤𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐢𝐭 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠

tag game by @trashmouth-richie

tagged by: @onegirlmanytales and @keeksandgigz 💗💜

⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅*̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙*̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆ ⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅*̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙*̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆ ⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅*̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙*̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆ ⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅*̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙*̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆

𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑 𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭...

𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚏𝚊𝚟𝚘𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚎: probably shy girl or the alligator and the weirdo because they’re my most recent and haven’t had the chance to rot in my mind yet

𝚖𝚘𝚜𝚝 𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚎𝚜: eddies notes

𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚝 𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚎𝚜: rockstars daughter I wrote it on my birthday and I was kicking rocks when it flopped lmao

𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚝 𝚊𝚖𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚠𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚎: probably any of my requests or sans toi orrrr I wish I had met you earlier

𝚖𝚘𝚜𝚝 𝚊𝚖𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚠𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚎: probably the third chapter of same old song and dance I went back and edited that doodoo like 62 times

𝚏𝚒𝚌 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚊𝚗 𝚊𝚜𝚔: i don’t get a lot of discourse in my asks so it was most definitely a request, I think my favourite was the virgin confession one because I think she’s a cutesy little thing

𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚛𝚊𝚛𝚎𝚕𝚢 𝚠𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚎 𝚏𝚘𝚛: eddie lol (I don’t write anymore fr so yeah it’s rare)

𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚕𝚠𝚊𝚢𝚜 𝚠𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚎 𝚏𝚘𝚛: lol eddie

𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚛����𝚌𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚗𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚠𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚎 𝚏𝚘𝚛: anyone not eddie

𝚂𝟻 𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚍𝚒𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜?: max lives and will have a miraculous overnight recovery because there is absolutely no sense of realism when it comes to injuries in the stranger things universe

𝚔𝚊𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚘𝚛𝚒𝚜𝚝, 𝚠𝚑𝚢/ 𝚠𝚑𝚢 𝚗𝚘𝚝? probably not because dumb and dumber aka the suffer brothers aka the duffer brothers never like giving people what they want

𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚢 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚋𝚊𝚌𝚔 𝚠𝚑𝚢/𝚠𝚑𝚢 𝚗𝚘𝚝? i feel like it will because after everything’s all said and done, nancy might just want peace and comfort which Steve offers with his sense of stability (through money, class, status, etc.). her and jonathon are very different, which makes for an interesting relationship (and I can appreciate it) but bruh after fighting monsters and almost dying for like 3 years straight I’d be tired and just want to be taken care of and not have to put that type of effort into anything (that might just be me though, nancy’s built different honestly). that or she’ll keep doing the journalist thing and will end up with neither boys (cause jonathon’s never going to leave his family behind…. unless…. yeah that’s off topic anyways)

𝚊 𝚜𝚖𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚛 𝚋𝚕𝚘𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚍𝚎𝚜𝚎𝚛𝚟𝚎𝚜 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎: me and also readers who consistently reblog and like fics like I fucking love you guys and I will always follow you back if I see you in my notifs frequently

𝚊 𝚋𝚕𝚘𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚖𝚊𝚍𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚋𝚕𝚘𝚛𝚋𝚘 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗 𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚎: I’ll be honest I don’t know what that means I see you guys saying it but context clues have not kicked in yet

𝚏𝚒𝚛𝚜𝚝 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚢 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚏𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚘𝚖: probably like the yes policy cause I think I found it through a tiktok recommendation and then spent the first 7 chapters reading in my safari app and refusing to make a tumblr or ao3 account like a dumb dumb (I’ve learned better now)

𝚏𝚒𝚛𝚜𝚝 𝚏𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚍 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚏𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚘𝚖: I’ll let my inherent unlikeability answer this question (she said no comment)

𝚐𝚘𝚊𝚕𝚜 𝚢𝚘𝚞’𝚟𝚎 𝚊𝚌𝚑𝚒𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚍 𝚒𝚗 𝚠𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚢𝚎𝚊𝚛: i don’t have goals I’m not a goal setting or goal achieving kind of girl I’m too unmotivated and self indulgent for that

𝚖𝚘𝚜𝚝 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚜 𝚠𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚗 𝚒𝚗 𝚊 𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚕𝚎 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛: my posted stuff probably like 10k, unposted stuff I have chapters with like 28k words of unedited stream of consciousness garbage😭

𝚏𝚊𝚟𝚘𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚎 𝚝𝚛𝚘𝚙𝚎: enemies to lovers or friends to lovers they are the best tropes and I will die on both of those hills. i also like friends with an ill timed boner twist or friends with one bed it’s always juicy

𝚜𝚖𝚞𝚝, 𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚜𝚝 𝚘𝚛 𝚏𝚕𝚞𝚏𝚏?: on the low I’ve been into fluff lately like I need innocent human connection

⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅*̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙*̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆ ⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅*̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙*̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆ ⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅*̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙*̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆ ⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅*̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙*̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆

f̾u̾c̾k̾ ̾m̾a̾r̾r̾y̾ ̾k̾i̾l̾l̾

𝚝𝚎𝚍, 𝚖𝚞𝚛𝚛𝚊𝚢 𝚘𝚛 𝚖𝚛. 𝚌𝚕𝚊𝚛𝚔𝚎?: fuck ted lol, marry mr. clarke, kill murray

𝚓𝚘𝚢𝚌𝚎, 𝚔𝚊𝚛𝚎𝚗, 𝚘𝚛 𝚌𝚕𝚊𝚞𝚍𝚒𝚊? (𝚍𝚞𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚗’𝚜 𝚖𝚘𝚖): fuck karen, marry joyce, kill claudia sorry mama

𝚑𝚘𝚙𝚙𝚎𝚛, 𝚠𝚊𝚢𝚗𝚎 𝚖𝚞𝚗𝚜𝚘𝚗, 𝚍𝚛. 𝚋𝚛𝚎𝚗𝚗𝚎𝚛? fuck brenner, marry wayne, this is so unpopular but I have an irrational hatred for david harbour and I have to kill hopper (he didn’t do anything I just don’t like him but also I saw an interview where he just kept interrupting Natalia over and over again to say stuff that wasn’t even funny and since then he gives me the ick😭)

𝚊𝚛𝚐𝚢𝚕𝚎, 𝚓𝚘𝚗𝚊𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚗, or 𝚔𝚎𝚒𝚝𝚑? fuck jonathon, marry argyle, kill keith

𝚎𝚍𝚍𝚒𝚎, 𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚟𝚎 𝚘𝚛 𝚊𝚛𝚐𝚢𝚕𝚎? fuck and marry eddie, next question

𝚍𝚎𝚖𝚘𝚋𝚊𝚝, 𝚍𝚎𝚖𝚘𝚐𝚘𝚛𝚐𝚊𝚗, 𝚟𝚎𝚌𝚗𝚊? kill those nasty fucking rat demobats, tame a demogorgan and use as the ring bearer when I marry vecna and then brutally murder him and inherit the upside down and all his freaky like creatures as my own

⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅*̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙*̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆ ⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅*̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙*̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆ ⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅*̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙*̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆ ⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅*̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙*̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆

[sophieinwonderland]

hey. just a random onlooker

what do you say to this? /nfa

im curious. im not really up to date on anything so i have no idea whats happening but i am curious

I was honestly just going to ignore Dia's post, but okay. Let's see if I can satiate your curiosity.

First, I should apologize for the misgendering. I tend to use they/them to refer to the whole system. (Because my issues with Dia extend to much of the system and I'm holding the system as a whole accountable.) I was aware that Dia uses it/its pronouns itself, but if this was a mistake and these pronouns are supposed to apply to the whole system then I apologize.

Since you're out of the loop, let me try to sum up some past events. Dia (and other members of the system) often behaves as an attention-seeking troll. Almost a year ago, Dia was making a callout document with a few pro-endos, including myself and @queerautism. (The blog was called "Dramatic Syscourse" and true to its name, seemed to be intended to stir up drama.) Neither of us really cared. Another party did, and one of the headmates asked that Dia not mention their name because they were afraid of harassment.

Dia didn't merely refuse. Dia mocked them and fakeclaimed them, literally telling them that they "weren't real." It was one of the most disgusting exchanges I've ever witnessed on this site.

Later, Dia and friends went after Queerautism again, attacking Queerautism for... having a separate 18+ blog, I think? Somehow, this ended up leading to an argument over whether kink should be allowed at Pride.

Multiple members of Dia's system made references to physically assaulting people displaying kinks. And to be clear, I'm not even talking things that are overtly sexual. The main point of contention with Dia and friends seemed to be a picture of a guy in a dog costume who, while perhaps not fully clothed, wasn't anymore undressed than one might be at a beach.

There was a heavy "think of the children" argument there as if kids are going to see anything sexual about a guy dressed as a dog.

Dia even allowed one of the system's littles to get involved in this discussion about kinks at pride, and the little threatened to bite anyone they saw at pride displaying kinks like this.

Aside from threatening physical assault against LGBT people at Pride, Dia also gave permission to this little to make a post calling out Queerautism and another user. If I remember correctly, the little, with Dia's permission, called them bitches. And their names were tagged to make sure it went straight to their notifications.

I assume that Dia's thought process was that this left the ones being attacked with two options. Either they ignore it and have to take the insult without being able to defend themselves, or they end up baited into attacking the little and Dia gets to use it for syscourse points.

Dia put its own little in a situation where the little might be harassed so that Dia could play victim if it successfully provoked an attack.

When Queerautism called out that this post was obviously bait, Dia immediately tried convincing everyone that the use of "bait" here was supposed to be sexual, and that queerautism and friends were pedophiles.

And I'm sure you can see the pattern. Lie, twist, bully, stir up drama, starts fights, and play victim.

Dia left syscourse for a bit to focus on its mental health, but recently made a return to invade pro-endo tags. I made my response here:

Okay! Are you caught up? Great!

This link you sent me seems to be addressing that. So let me just respond to that real quick.

i never said endogenics can't have their own space.

I never said that Dia said this. But this isn't about having our own spaces. This is about existing in general spaces and spaces Dia thinks should feel safe. I don't think most endogenic systems are interested in going into spaces specifically for DID. But we do want to exist in public. We certainly want to be accepted in spaces to support the disabilities we do have.

Dia's wording of "not wanting endos to be in a space [it] want[s] to feel safe in" is problematic, as it leads to the type of situation in that Tweet (from my other post) where you have someone getting kicked out of support servers for mental health issues in the name of protecting anti-endos who happen to be there.

i've seen endo systems CHOOSE to be a system. notice how i said MOST and not ALL?

And I'm saying most is still not accurate.

i do not mind you using our tags because you use my culture while being a white person!! why not use more of our shit, hm?

I also want to comment on this. I sincerely hope I've got all the information correct. Much of it is from memory since Dia has cycled through different blogs and old posts are impossible to track down.

From what I understand, Dia is not a practicing Buddhist. I believe Dia has said the family was Lutheran and Dia was raised into that religion, though I don't believe Dia is Lutheran either anymore. Dia at one point went off on CambrianCrew for quoting Buddhism to them though and made it clear that it's not religious.

And while Dia had a grandmother who was a Tibetan Buddhist who tried to create a sprul-pa (and called the practice bullshit when she failed,) Dia doesn't identify as Tibetan. Dia's bio specifically references being Japanese and Chinese as well as having descent from Norway and Germany, as those are all cultures Dia identifies with, but doesn't mention being Tibetan. And if I remember correctly (this was a long time ago,) Dia specifically said it doesn't usually identify as Tibetan when asked about this because the link is so tenuous.

So Dia is, if I'm getting this correct, not a Buddhist and doesn't identify as Tibetan.

I can believe Dia probably has some Tibetan ancestry, but it seems strange to me to only identify as part of a culture when you can get points in an internet argument.

I also remember an exchange where Dia mocked the CambrianCrew for suggesting that the Dalai Lama comment on it. As I recall, Dia suggested it would be ridiculous for the Dalai Lama to get involved "in syscourse." Which, I feel highlights its real feelings on the topic. Dia ONLY cares about the topic because Dia is a system. Dia might use culture and religion to bolster its arguments, but Dia doesn't really view this as a cultural or religious issue. If Dia was a singlet, Dia would probably never comment on tulpas at all.

Dia resents tulpas and parogenic systems for what we are, and is using a culture it doesn't identify with (but does have heritage from) to justify that.

I do believe Dia is trying to get better in some respects but...

I also believe Dia is still falling back on creating drama and starting fights as a coping mechanism. Maybe even provoking fights as a form of self-harm.

Hence why Dia invaded the endogenic tags and why it made this insult-laden post directed at me. Dia wants to start more drama, even though it never ends well for anyone involved.

#ask box #syscourse #pro endogenic #pro endo #pro tulpa #tulpa #endogenic

[holdmeclosertinytaron]

Chapter Four

A/N: I hope you all enjoy this next instalment of ETTC!! Thank you to everyone who has been liking, commenting and messaging me about the story. It means the world.

Warnings: Explicit language, consumption of alcohol

Word Count: 8.2k

Story Page / FAQs / ETTC chats.

The pub was busier than Amelia had ever seen it that night, though there were only an additional five tables occupied than normal. Though there was a certain hustle and bustle that came with those few extra people, Amelia welcomed it with open arms. 

After three in the incredibly quiet village where not a lot happened, being surrounded by more people was just what she needed. It made her feel a little more at home. 

The only issue with there being more people in the pub was her usual table in the far back corner wasn’t free like it normally was. So, she opted to sit in front of the roaring fire, letting the heat radiate throughout her entire body. She sat far enough away that she wasn’t sweating from the heat, but close enough that when the door opened, she didn’t feel the draft entering the building. 

Her steak and ale pie with mashed potatoes went down a treat and just as she was about to get up to get another drink, Kaine walked over with a drink for her. 

‘How did you?’ 

‘Read your mind,’ he replied with a smirk. ‘No, it’s a bit of a habit you have. After you’ve eaten, you’ll wait five or so minutes and then come up and get a drink.’ 

Amelia was shocked. She’d not realised that she was so readable but at the same time, she should have known. Everywhere she turned there was someone who knew something about her life that she didn’t know was common knowledge. 

‘Well thank you,’ she offered as she took the glass of wine from him. 

‘No Taron today?’ 

‘Kaine, I don’t know how many times I have to tell you,’ Amelia mumbled as she looked at him, his tongue pressed into his cheek. ‘There is nothing going on between Taron and me.’ 

But oh how she wished there was. 

‘But if you must know,’ she continued, emphasising ‘must’ by tilting her head ever so slightly to the left, ‘he is working until six and then will probably be going home to put his feet up because if you haven’t noticed, it’s bloody freezing outside and he’s been working since eight this morning.’ 

‘You know an awful lot about his work schedule for there to be nothing going on between you,’ Kaine jested while grabbing Amerlia’s empty plate and walking away before she could reply. 

Another glass of wine later, Amelia finally pulled her phone out of her bag. There were random instagram notifications of people liking her most recent photo– one she had taken months before to try and make people believe she was still in LA and not in the English countryside– as well as her daily Co-Star notification and three text messages. 

From: Haz :) 

They’ve asked me to do three more press interviews! I’m so tired and just want bedddddd… and my partner in crime. Work isn’t as fun without you :(( x

From: Mama

Any men popped up since last time we text? Xx

From: Lukey 🤍

Lmao that sounds…interesting. Any plans for tonight? 

Choosing to ignore her mum for the time being, simply so that she could avoid having another conversation about the lack of a man in her life, and knowing that it would cause Harry to pout and playfully sulk if she were to reply to Luke first, Amelia decided to respond to Luke first. 

To: Lukey 🤍

I’ve just had tea at the pub and I think I’m going to sit here for a couple of hours and have a few drinks before heading back for the night :)) 

Her fingers moved fast against the keyboard on her phone and she only made a couple of mistakes that were easily fixable. It didn’t take Luke long to reply which could only mean that she was on her way home from work and bored on the tube. 

From: Lukey 🤍 

That honestly sounds perfect! I think I’m just gonna pop 10 Things on and eat my weight in chocolate lmao. Don’t tell H but I’m going to open the Quality Streets early :))))) 

Amelia chuckled before sending a quick reply and promising not to tell Harry of his boyfriend’s antics. She locked her phone then, putting it on the table in front of her and enjoying the final song that the live band was playing. Over the course of their set, she had taken a couple of videos to show Harry the next time she saw him. 

As families and a few of the older gentlemen started to trickle out of the pub, a few others started to trickle in, filling the seats that sat near the small clear space that had been designated as a stage. Amelia paid close attention to everyone around her, her love and need for people watching kicking in fully. 

Kaine weaved his way through the tables until he stood at the front of the room. He clapped when the band finished their cover of Bohemian Rhapsody before he stood behind the microphone and cleared his throat. 

'Evening lads and lasses.' He was unable to continue speaking from the low mumbles of everyone in the pub repeating ‘evening’. 'It’s Friday night karaoke night! I’ll leave a little sign up sheet here for you to write your names down then when our ever so lovely Kelly comes in, I’ll come and sign everyone up properly. Bar’s open all evening!' 

With that, everyone clapped again and the pub’s sound system kicked in, playing a song that Amelia couldn’t quite remember the name of. She kept checking her phone to see if she had any more text messages but she didn’t so she finally replied to Harry. Or at least she started to. Halfway through her text two hands landed heavily on her shoulders and she almost jumped out of her skin. 

'What the?' 

As she turned around, the two people she least expected to see stood smiling widely at her. 

'If it isn’t Pretty Baby Bray…' Harry joked playfully. 

'What the hell are you two doing here?' Amelia replied with her hand on her heart. She was easy to scare and Harry knew that, which is why he would purposely scare her when they were on set together. 

'I don’t know about this idiot but I missed you like crazy,' Luke piped up from next to Harry. 

Amelia saw her close friend and stood up from her seat. She instantly wrapped her arms around Luke and held him tight. Her friendship with Harry had resulted in a really close relationship with his boyfriend and they would often have brunch dates when they were both in the same city. 

'Do you want a drink, babe? I’m gonna go grab myself a beer.' 

Luke let go of her friend and turned to his boyfriend, thinking for a second before turning to Amelia. 

'You’re here a lot. What do you recommend I get?'

'Southern Comfort and Diet Coke,’ Amelia replied instantly. ‘Sweet and tasty. So bloody good. I’ve gotten a little tipsy on them a few times.' 

'Two Southern Comforts and Diet Coke coming right up,' Harry spoke happily before walking over to the bar to get the drinks. 

'Who introduced you to that drink?' Luke asked gently as he sat down next to Amelia, leaving the seat with the back to the fire for Harry. 

'Taron,' Amelia replied simply.

'Taron? Taron as in the Taron you keep texting H about? Talking about how he makes you flustered and nervous all the time? How on many occasions you’ve ‘made a complete fool of yourself’ but Taron was gracious and simply brushed it off? How there hasn’t been a guy before Taron that you have ‘fancied the pants off’?' 

Amelia couldn’t reply. Her cheeks were red hot and visibly darker in colour. She shifted in her seat and drank the last bit of the drink she had already all while Luke laughed at her. 

'You’re so predictable, babe. Is this guy really that amazing?' 

'Yes.'

He really was. He was the most amazing and Amelia couldn’t comprehend how she’d been so lucky as to have him in her life, even if just for a short time. 

Though she didn’t have the heart to tell her friend that she and Taron weren’t exactly on the best of terms at that point. Ever since their incident in the street a few days before, they hadn’t spoken. Not for want of trying. Taron had texted Amelia multiple times trying to get her to let him explain and he’d even tried to call her but she ignored it. She was too scared to know the truth.

******

When Kaine walked over to the table with a tray of four tall glasses a little while later, each filled with a beautifully ombréd drink in them, Amelia was beyond confused.

'What is this, Kaine?' She asked as she tilted her head up so that she could look at Kaine properly.

'A Snookums. Harry mentioned your nickname a little earlier. It’s basically a Gatsby but with muddled strawberries,' Kaine replied as though Amelia should have known what the drink was. The only problem was that even after being told what it was Amelia still looked completely clueless to which Kaine, and Harry alike, couldn’t help but laugh. 'There’s brandy and gin in it as well as apple juice and strawberries. It might be gross but I thought you’d appreciate something different.'

Amelia took a small sip of the drink and her eyes fell closed in pure euphoria. 'Oh…my…god. That’s so good, Kaine! You’re going to have to keep these coming tonight.'

Luke and Harry chuckled from their places as they took the first sips of their own Snookums’. Amelia hadn’t been lying, it was really good, and Luke could tell that if she were to keep up and drink more then she would slowly become more and more drunk.

'I’ll keep ‘em coming, lovely. Talk to you soon.' Kaine gave Amelia a small wink before walking back to the bar where he was met with a multitude of older men waiting to be served.

'Why’s the barman winking at you?' Luke asked curiously.

'You two got a thing going on?' Harry added playfully.

'You two are actually as bad as one another, you know? That’s Kaine and he’s my oldest friend’s boyfriend.'

The look of pure hurt on Harry’s face caused Amelia to bend over in her seat laughing. Of course, she knew that he wasn’t really hurt or she wouldn’t have laughed. But he was an actor after all.

‘Haz, stop being a child! I haven’t spoken to Thalia in a while and I don’t know when the next time will be either. You know that you’re my best friend…after Luke.'

'Ha! Told you she loved me more!'

The group’s playful banter was exactly what Amelia had been missing since she first arrived in Rivercliffe. It wasn’t that she didn’t have friends there because obviously she did. It was just that herself, Luke and Harry would take the piss out of one another and then laugh about it. There was something keeping her from being her true self in the village and as much as she knew what that was, she was scared to admit it properly.

******

'Hey mate,' Harry chirped as he walked up to the bar for the third time that evening.

'Hey mate. You’re Amelia’s friend…Harry, right?'

'Aye that’s me. Look, mate, I desperately need your help.'

Kaine put his hand towel back through his belt loops before putting his hands on top of the bar and lifting his head slightly. 'Depends what it is, but sure I’ll bite I guess.'

'Perfect. Do you know a bloke called-'

'You’re going to ask me about Taron aren’t you?'

Harry knew that there was a possibility that Kaine wouldn’t know where Taron was, but he had to try. When Amelia had called him the night everything happened in floods of tears and near a panic attack, he wished that he could have been there to hold her and calm her down. And even if it killed him, he would get them both back talking again because Amelia hadn’t been as happy before as she was when she was with Taron .

'How did you…?'

'Look, Harry, I’ve got eyes and a brain. Those two need someone to bash their heads together and I feel like you’d be the best person to do that anyway. Amelia mentioned that he’s working until six and then he’ll probably be heading home.'

'Perfect. Do you think if I head off to try and persuade him to come for the karaoke night you could make some excuse up with the missus and Amelia about where I’ve gone? I’ll be ten minutes tops.'

Kaine nodded with a smile. 'Course I can. Be quick or someone’s gonna steal your seat I can guarantee it.'

'Will do. Thanks again, Kaine.'

'It’s no problem, brother.'

With that, Harry was legging it out of the pub and running all the way back to the bed and breakfast where Taron should have been getting ready to finish his shift.

As though the universe was working in favour of Harry, Taron was just closing the gate behind him when Harry turned the corner.

'Taron!' He shouted the best he could through his pants. If there was one thing that Harry was, it was unfit.

'That’s me.'

Taron stayed where he was until Harry got closer to him so they could talk without shouting.

'I’m a friend of Amelia’s.'

Amelia. Even hearing her name had Taron’s stomach twisting awkwardly. For days he’d tried to get in contact with her just so that he could explain what happened and for days she had ignored his efforts. At one point he was contemplating catching her when they were out and about so that he could tell her to her face but he chickened out at the last minute.

'I know what happened between you both the other night.'

'Look, Harry, I swear I’m not-'

'I know,' Harry spoke quietly. He knew that with Taron trying to get in contact with Amelia that he was telling the truth. 'She’s just fucking stubborn. But she also knows deep down that you were telling the truth and she feels stupid and is scared to admit that she was in the wrong. It’s the way it goes with her.'

'I’m not mad at her, if that’s what she thinks. I don’t think any less of her for thinking what she did because if the roles were reversed then I would have done the same'

'I know, pal. That’s why I need you to come to the pub before her and my other half get too suspicious as to why I just left them. Come with me and explain to her. She won’t walk away if I’m there because I won’t let her leave.'

Taron thought about it for a while, watching the way that he could see his breath in the below freezing temperatures. As much as he wanted to go to the pub and see Amelia, he was scared. What if she refused to listen to him? Or worse yet, what if she told him that she hated him and didn’t want to see him? His heart broke when she walked off from him and he didn’t think he could deal with her telling him to his face that she hated him.

'Listen, I know it’s scary and you’re unsure as to how she’ll respond but she wants to talk to you. Told me herself.'

'I’ll come.'

'Perfect.'

******

'Your left big toe was cold so you went to get your woollen socks?' Luke asked with raised eyebrows as Harry sat himself down on his seat and pushed himself closer to the fire so that he could warm up. In the heat of him leaving the pub he hadn’t taken his coat with him. 'You’re not even wearing them.'

'Well, you see, what happened was-'

Harry couldn’t even finish what he was saying before Taron was putting his drink down on the table and sitting next to Amelia. Harry nodded at him with a small smile before he turned to his boyfriend and kissed him quickly, wrapped an arm around him and pulled him into his body. Amelia turned to glare at her friend with her tongue in her cheek before she turned to Taron with her lips pulled between her teeth.

'Luke, this is Taron,' Harry spoke, needing to clear the tension at the table. 'Taron, this is my boyfriend, Luke.'

'It’s lovely to meet you, Luke.' Taron offered Luke his hand and dipped his head down slightly when she shook it. 'Amelia’s said so much about you. Says you’re one of her best friends.'

'Amelia is truly the best.'

'She is.'

With that they all fell quiet again. Amelia lifted her glass in a hurry and pulled it to her lips, tipping her head back to down the rest of the liquid which burnt her throat.

'I’m going to go get another drink,' she said through gritted teeth before she harshly pushed her chair back and practically stormed to the bar.

'I’ll go make sure she’s okay,' Harry muttered as he kissed Luke’s forehead and followed his friend. 'Oi,' he said as he poked Amelia’s shoulder, 'he’s come here so that you can listen to what he has to bloody say. And I’m not letting you leave this pub until you’ve heard him out.'

'Why, Harry? He’s just going to make a fucking fool of me and I’m going to feel even more dumb than I already do. And if I don’t, I’m going to make a fool out of myself because look at him.'

Taron was sat chatting to Luke quietly but all Amelia could focus on was how good he looked. When he sat down he took his long line coat off and she was fully able to see his outfit. A white t-shirt and black jogger style trousers. He looked good. He always did.

'Please, Amelia. It broke my heart hearing you so down the other night. He really does just want to talk to you.'

'Fine. I’ll hear him out. But if this ends badly it’s on you.' She poked at his chest before thanking Kaine for her drink and walking back to the table.

******

Throughout the course of the evening, more people had signed up for the karaoke…including Harry who only smirked at his boyfriend and best friend. He was always the one to get up and sing, though normally he would need a couple of pints down him first.

When Luke brought that fact up, he shrugged it off with a wink, 'Ahh, but angel you’re forgetting something. By the time I’m called up to sing, I’ll have a few more than a couple of pints down me so I’ll be good.'

'You’re a knobhead,' Luke breathed quietly. Truth was, she loved when Harry sang and she knew that even at a karaoke night when there was a high chance that he would be drunk, he would still be amazing.

'Yeah, but I’m your knobhead,' he replied just as fast, leaning forward to press a swift kiss to his lips.

Amelia watched her two friends in awe. She could barely remember the last time that she kissed someone she was seeing out in public without a care in the world, though it was probably before she’d been in any films and didn’t have to worry about the media. 

Long gone were the days where she felt free enough to even hold hands with someone let alone kiss them. She longed for a relationship as, what seemed to be at least, perfect as Harry and Luke’s. She wanted someone to kiss her while they were out and about and them both wind up giggling like they were in those very first stages of a relationship where everything was new and exciting.

The only issue was that she longed for a relationship like that with only one person. No one else set the butterflies off the way that Taron did, and no one else seemed to care about her the same way that Taron did. Even when they were simply having a small conversation, Taron’s entire attention was on Amelia and what she was saying. When she was with him, she didn’t have to fight for his attention and that’s what she loved.

'What song are you going to sing?' Amelia asked gently as she lifted her drink up to have more of it. The almost overly sweet beverage left her closing her eyes again and when they opened, Harry was shaking his head with a chuckle.

'You really are something else, you know that?' Amelia nodded. 'But I’m going to sing Faith.'

'I don’t even know why I asked in all honesty.'

'Yeah I’m surprised that you asked. Are you gonna sing something?'

'Hell no,' Amelia replied quickly. There were some things that she would do at a drop of a hat but singing in the pub to strangers? No chance. 'There are some things I will never do.'

'But you’re an amazing singer! They’d all love you.'

'My dignity wouldn’t.'

'I’ve never heard you sing,' Taron whispered awkwardly. He and Amelia had talked about what happened and they agreed to put it behind them but they weren’t back to what they were before.

'Don’t hold your hopes up, mate,' Harry added through a chuckle, 'she hardly ever sings anymore. But you’ll be lucky if you do hear it. Like an angel, she is.'

'Harry, I swear to god I will throw my drink on you.'

Taron laughed quietly from his spot. When Amelia turned to look at him his smile disappeared, until he saw her give him a small smile. Oh, how he’d missed the way her smile made him feel. It was as though the butterfly which was tattooed permanently onto his stomach fluttered around in giddiness and his head went light as he tried to control his breathing.

'I’m going to go and get another drink, would you like one?' He asked everyone at the table, but mainly Amelia who suddenly couldn’t take her eyes off of Taron.

It was the first time in a while that she truly looked at him and took him in. He looked dishevelled, almost like he hadn’t slept in days. The bags under his eyes were deep purple and rather visible. His lips were chapped and cracked in places and his eyes looked sunken. Not to mention the mess of hair on the top of his head. He looked unwell.

'I’ll come and get one,' Amelia replied quietly, turning to Harry and nodding when he gave her a look as if to ask if she was sure.

They walked to the bar in silence. Taron had his eyes on the floor while Amelia had to fight herself not to grip onto his hand. Though she did have to grip his bicep when she almost tumbled forward.

'Careful, Pretty Baby.'

'How is that you’re always saving me from falling on my arse?' Amelia chuckled, getting to the bar and leaning on it to catch herself properly. 'Are you okay?'

Taron was taken aback by the question. It wasn’t a typical ‘are you alright?’ question. There was meaning behind it, like Amelia really wanted to know how he was doing.

'Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?'

Lies. He wasn’t okay in the slightest. He’d barely slept a wink since they last spoke to one another and had opted to sleep on the sofa where he wasn’t surrounded by her scent which lingered on his sheets. For days the only thoughts clouding his brain had been Amelia. Each ignored text and unanswered phone call made him recoil back into the sofa more.

Work was the last thing on his mind and he had, regretfully, called in sick from both jobs because he didn’t want to risk running into Amelia and upsetting her. He did, however,  take walks around the village in hopes of seeing her because seeing her out in public would surely be easier than seeing her in the confines of a small cottage building.

'Taron, I know that’s not the truth.'

'I’ve barely slept.'

Amelia wasn’t expecting the truth to cut her so deep. But it did. Knowing that Taron, her lovely Taron who she adored, hadn’t slept to the point where he looked physically ill hurt her. She could feel her stomach clenching at the thought and she had to take a deep breath to even begin to relax herself.

'I’m sorry,' she whispered. She was well aware that Taron would try and tell her that it wasn’t her fault but she knew that it was. If it wasn’t for her not letting him explain in the streets then he would have slept and wouldn’t look ill. But she didn’t, and he didn’t.

'It’s not your fault,' he whispered back. Amelia let out a tiny, breathy chuckle. Taron was predictable in the best possible way.

'It is though. I should have let you talk but instead I just thought about myself and how I felt so I’m sorry.'

'If it had been the other way around then I’d have done the same,' Taron confessed.

Amelia regretted looking up at him. The fluorescent lighting of the pub cast a weirdly gorgeous glow over Taron’s entire face. The shadow on his cupid's bow made his lips look that little bit more full and kissable. More kissable to the point where if there wasn’t a roomful of people around them, and she was sure that Taron wanted to, she would have pressed her lips to his gently.

'I’m still sorry.'

'What can I get for you both?' Kaine asked when he walked up to them.

'Another round of Snookums' please, Kaine.' Taron spoke confidently for the first time that evening and it warmed Amelia’s heart.

While they waited for Kaine to make the drinks, Taron drank Amelia in. He paid close attention to the way that her hair fell on her shoulders and the way that her top lip protruded ever so slightly more than her bottom lip. It wasn’t until then that he truly realised how much he wanted to kiss her. He wanted to grab her wrist so that he could spin her around and he wanted to cup her cheeks delicately as he pressed his lips to hers gently.

******

When Kaine announced that Taron was going up to sing, Taron himself had chuckled because he wasn’t the one who had put his name down on the sheet. It was only when Harry patted him on the back and winked at him that it all made sense. Luke scoffed a laugh while Amelia death glared at her friend. 

Taron stood up slowly, throwing daggers at the man he had just met before walking over to the stage area and standing behind the microphone stand. He pointed to Kaine when he was ready for the music to start and closed his eyes as he took a deep breath. 

The opening notes of Endless Love started playing and within the first few words Taron  sang, Amelia was truly transfixed. 

Completely and utterly fixated. 

His voice was so delicately soft with a certain amount of gravel to it too. The gravel that Amelia loved so much. He looked nervous to start, and he could barely be heard over the chatter that was still in the pub. But as he got a little further in, he grew a little more confident. Amelia couldn’t not stare at him. She was so unbelievably confused as to how the guy she’d thought was perfect since the very start could become even more perfect so quickly. 

'He needs a Diana,' Harry whispered into her ear before sitting back on his chair with a smug smirk. 

'Of course you did this on purpose, asshole,' she whispered back with a small smile of her own. She should have known that Harry would pull something like that, it was in his nature. 

Though, to start she had no intention of getting up to sing with Taron for she wanted to sit and enjoy the soothing sound of his voice. She could hear him sing for eternity and she would be content. However, when she could hear him start to struggle singing both parts of the song, she downed the rest of her drink and stood up. Harry let out a small cheer as she walked away, not missing the way she put her middle finger up at him. 

'You’re a dickhead,' Luke whispered into his boyfriend’s ear. 

'Yeah, I know. She’ll thank me later though.' 

'You’d better hope she does. I’d have fucking killed you.'

Harry only laughed at his boyfriend before lifting his pint to his lips so that he could take a swig. His eyebrows furrowed when Luke lifted his hand to his lips to stop herself from laughing. He refused to tell him why he was laughing so he resorted to lifting his phone up to check his face in the camera. Much to his dismay, the head of his lager had left a white moustache above his top lip. 

When Amelia got to the table where Kaine sat, she grabbed the microphone that he was holding out to her and switched it on with the switch at the bottom of it. As soon as she saw the red light flash three times she took a deep breath and started her walk to a startled Taron.

'Two hearts,' Amelia sang softly. 

Taron didn’t know what he was expecting when Amelia started singing, but it sure as hell wasn’t what he thought. 

Her voice was smoother than fresh honey, velvety in his ears as he heard it. It was softer than the fluffiest blanket he had ever owned and it comforted him even more than he would care to admit. There was something so transcendent about watching her sing that he almost forgot that he had to sing too. 

He finally started to sing again, his eyes locking with Amelia’s as she turned to look at him. Neither of them could look away. They were so focused on one another that the entire room began to melt around them. Harry and Luke, Kaine and every other person disappeared and left them purely on their own. 

It didn’t take long for Taron’s lips to quirk up into a smile. His smile lines deepened and his dimples became even more prominent. He had to close his eyes to refocus himself on the song that they were singing, perfectly falling back into it.

When his eyes fluttered open again, everyone else was back in the room and he felt somewhat scared. But as soon as Amelia’s eyes met his once more, he felt calm. He was always told that when in front of a group of people he should find one person or thing to look at to calm himself. He just never expected that to be someone as amazing as Amelia. 

'I’ll be a fool for you, I’m sure.' 

Amelia could feel every beat of her heart pummelling her ribcage. She struggled for breath as she tried to continue to sing. It wasn’t easy though. Taron’s eyes bore into hers and she felt herself grow lightheaded and dizzy. 

Everything about Taron was perfect. He was funny, happy, so incredibly thoughtful, he didn’t take himself too seriously, and above everything else…he treated Amelia like a regular person. When she was around Taron, she wasn’t Pretty Baby Bray. She was Amelia. Taron treated her like he would treat everyone around her and she didn’t realise just how much she needed that. 

'You mean the world to me.' 

Amelia had to look away from Taron in order to try and hide the smile that she was fighting. She found Harry’s eyes and gave him a death glare which had him laughing and he slapped his knee as he tried to stop himself. Luke smacked his arm gently before nodding at Amelia with the biggest grin. 

Taron and Amelia sang in perfect harmony. Their voices mixed together seamlessly and it was almost too perfect. Even with their obvious nerves they didn’t miss a single beat and Harry continued to smile smugly from his place. 

'My endless love.' 

As the song ended, Amelia dropped her arm with the microphone and took a few deep breaths. Taron mirrored her actions.

'I’m sorry,' he whispered as they walked off the stage and back to the table. 'I should have told you that she was coming to mine.'

'Please don’t apologise. I’m an idiot for assuming that something was going on between you both.' Amelia finally smiled at Taron properly just as they made it back to the table and Harry couldn’t hold his smug grin in. 'Shut up, arsehole.'

'Hey now. You should be thanking me, Snookums.'

'Snookums?' Taron questioned through a chuckle.

‘We were a married couple in our new Christmas film and his character called me Snookums. Harry here refuses to call me anything else now.'

'Snookums. I like it just as much as Pretty Baby.'

Amelia could feel her heart burst and her stomach clench all at the same time. She got giddy when he called her love but hearing him call her Snookums was something else. Not to mention Pretty Baby. Throughout her career, she’d been called Pretty Baby Bray by so many people and it had become a point of annoyance for her. But hearing Taron call her Pretty Baby, without the Bray, made her heart do somersaults. He truly was one of a kind.

****** 

'I got some money ‘cause I just got paid,' Harry sang loudly into the microphone while Amelia held her tenth Snookums in the air as she swayed gently. 

She started to loosen up a little bit after her fifth drink and by the eighth she was away with the fairies and signed herself and Harry up to sing together. Harry, being just as drunk if she was and if not even more drunk, jumped at the suggestion and immediately suggested they sing Saturday Night. Luke and Taron only laughed at the pair before they sat back back in their chairs with giant grins plastered on their faces as they watched the other two prance to the stage in fits of giggles. 

'Oh, how I wish I had someone to talk to,' she sang back just as excitedly. 

'I’m in an awful way,' they sang together, moving themselves so they were facing one another and laughing as the song carried on without them singing. 

They were so busy laughing at one another and trying to catch their breaths that they didn’t finish the rest of the song. The alcohol that they had been drinking over the course of the evening  had definitely made its way to their heads and made them feel like school children who were having a sleepover and staying up past their bedtimes. Their giggling got so bad that in the end, Kaine stopped the music and sent the two people who could barely stand up straight, let alone walk, back to their table. Taron and Luke greeted them with huge cheers and they dramatically bowed before falling into their seats and giggling. 

'I’ve missed you,' Harry hiccuped as he flung an arm around Amelia’s shoulders and pressed a sloppy kiss to her cheek. 

'Me too,' Amelia replied as she kissed Harry’s cheek back, feeling the stubble that was growing against her lips. 'Don’t ever let us not see one another for so long again.' 

'I won’t. As soon as Luke suggested that we come and see you I jumped at the idea because I’ve missed you like crazy.' 

Amelia and Harry’s relationship truly was one for the ages. They would say constantly that they didn’t feel like friends but siblings. Though they felt like those siblings who would playfully bicker and jokingly shove one another. Everyone who ever met them always said that they were always joking and laughing when they were together. 

Including in interviews. Interviewers who had never met the pair would leave the room with the widest smiles and were always gushing about them. There was never a quiet moment in interviews and they bounced off of one another perfectly. 

When Harry told Amelia that he had a boyfriend, Amelia had been a little worried to start. She was worried that her relationship with Harry would change and she wouldn’t get to see him as much. The complete opposite happened, however. When Amelia met Luke, she knew straight away that Harry’s relationship wasn’t going to affect their friendship at all. If anything, Luke brought Amelia and Harry closer together because they could go out as a group and have fun together. 

******

'Taron, you have to watch this video,' Harry exclaimed in excitement. He turned his phone to Amelia so that she could see what video he was talking about and he immediately got a cushion to the head. 

'You can’t bloody put that on!' She groaned dramatically. 'Taron, you can tell him to do one. You don’t have to watch the video.' 

Truth be told, she didn’t want to watch the video because of the memories that surfaced when she did. It didn’t matter how much time had passed, the memories were still incredibly raw. 

'Yeah but now I’m intrigued. Hook your phone up to the TV, Harry.' 

Taron’s words made Amelia grumble again. The video that Harry was going to put on was Amelia’s least favourite interview and he knew that. The question that she was asked haunted her for months after it was aired and it made her think back to a time where she wasn’t necessarily the happiest behind the scenes. 

'Okay so let’s take a look at the food we have here,' James spoke into the camera. Amelia, Harry and James sat around the table. They all looked incredibly nervous…including James who’d played the game multiple times before which didn’t instil much hope in the other two.  'We have, uhh, salmon smoothie, a beef tongue, bird saliva, a herring rollmop, a scorpion, fish head, hot sauce-'

'Is that safe? To do hot sauce I mean,' Harry asked with wide eyes. 

'We’re about to find out, Harry,' James laughed as he spun the table one last time. 'and finally…bull penis.' 

Between each item, the audience had been moaning groaning and Amelia felt herself gip at the stench some of the items on the table let off. She regretted ever telling Harry he could choose if they did it or not because at that moment she couldn’t think of anything worse to do than eat some of that stuff. 

'So for the benefit of anyone who doesn’t know how the game works…Harry, Amelia and myself will be choosing food for another person at the table to eat before asking a question. If the person answers the question they don’t eat. If they don’t answer…it’s down the hatch.' A couple of audience members laughed in response. 'Now just so we’re clear, none of us have seen these questions so they could be on anything at all. I’ll go first and I’ll be asking Harry a question.' 

'Right,' Harry sighed as he eyed the multitude of food in front of him. 'Can we not have hot sauce right away? Actually yeah, let me have it. Then I won’t be able to taste the rest of the food when I eat them.' 

'Now you’ve said that, I’m going to give you the bull penis.' James spun the table until the plate with the fishy roll was in front of Harry. 

'Haha you’re going to have to eat penis,' Amelia chuckled as Harry picked it up to sniff, immediately dropping it back onto the plate and gipping. 

'Only if he doesn’t answer the question,' James answered, lifting his first card. 'Harry might give it to you to try for your question.' 

'You dare, Harry..' 

Chuckles filled the entire room and James even slapped his thigh in laughter. 

'Okay, moving on with the game. Harry,' James paused as he read the question before he sat back with his lips rolled into his mouth. 'You’re here to promote your new Christmas film with Amelia, Christmas Staycation.' 

'I am indeedy,' Harry answered slowly. He eyed James who giggled lightly. 

'In the film you and Amelia kissed under the mistletoe but… who’s the better kisser, Amelia or your boyfriend?' 

'How the hell can I answer that?!' Harry exclaimed with wide eyes. He looked at the bull penis in front of him and lifted the plate up to his nose once more. He regretted it instantly, however. 'They’re both really good kissers, just to let you know.' 

'That wasn’t the question,' James laughed. 'I’ll ask you again just in case you forgot. Who’s the better kisser, your girlfriend or Amelia?' 

'Yeah, Harry. That wasn’t the question,' Amelia repeated with her lips puckered playfully. She knew that there was no way Harry would answer the question. Not even if he was paid to answer it. 

Harry took a deep breath before lifting the penis to his mouth and popping it in his mouth, chewing it slowly and gipping around it. 

'Yeah, you eat that d…ang bull penis,' Amelia spoke slowly, turning to James and watching him try not to laugh. 'Don’t worry, Luke, babe, I’ve got your back. But you might not have a boyfriend anymore if he gives me something nasty in a second.' 

Amelia spoke into the camera and winked as she made a heart with her hands and blew a kiss too. James couldn’t hold his amusement as he watched her interact with the camera while Harry sat and tried not to throw up around the penis he was eating. 

A few moments later, Harry finished the food and instantly took a large gulp of water to wash it down. 'That was fucking nasty.' 

Everyone cheered and James laughed harder than he had the whole segment. He silently ushered Harry to give Amelia a food to eat and he immediately put the scorpion in front of her. When he read the question he howled in laughter and had to drink more water to calm himself down. 

'Amelia, you’re currently dating Henry Caville who we all know played Superman.' 

'Oh god I know where this is going don’t I?' She asked through gritted teeth and Harry only nodded. 

'Does he ever make you call him Superman in bed?' 

Cheers and hollers from the audience deafened Amelia to the point where she could hardly hear James admit that he didn’t envy her. She closed her eyes and let out a large sigh before lifting the scorpion and wrinkling her nose at it. 

'There was this one time…' she laughed hysterically and watched as James and Harry’s eyes alike widened thinking that she had actually called Henry Superman while in bed.  'No, he never made me call him Superman in bed, thankfully.' 

'That’s boring. If it were me I’d make you call me Superman,' Harry joked, earning a death glare from Amelia. 'Close, close and finished.' 

'You’re not funny.' 

'No, I’m hysterical.' 

'Amelia, it’s your turn to choose something for me to eat if I don’t answer whatever question it is that gets asked,' James spoke to bring everyone’s attention back to the game they were playing. 

Amelia looked around the table to find something to present James with before she turned it around until the bird saliva was sitting in front of him. She could see the colour drain from his face and his hand lifted to his forehead. 

'I’ve had to drink this before and it’s the most disgusting thing I’ve ever put in my mouth.' 

Amelia laughed quietly before showing Harry the card to which he burst into fits of laughter and shook his head at James, 'Enjoy drinking it again, mate.' 

'Is the question really that bad?' 

Rather than telling James how bad the question was, Amelia straight up asked him and watched as his eyes grew three sizes bigger. 'Who’s the most high maintenance and hard to deal with backstage, me or Harry?' 

Ooh’s and ahh’s erupted from the audience. Harry sat back in his seat with a smug grin on his face and pointed to Amelia with a wink. Amelia turned to her friend and flipped him off behind the card she was holding before she turned to James and pointed to Harry. 

'And that’s all we have time for tonight! It’s been a pleasure.' 

'Come on, James. Who’s the hardest to deal with backstage?' Harry goded with his tongue in his cheek. He was taking great pleasure in watching James struggle to come up with an answer. 

'When you’re both together you’re honestly two of the most ridiculously hard to deal with. You’re continuously pulling pranks on me and you run away giggling when I try to get you.'

There wasn’t a single person in the audience not laughing and Amelia and Harry looked at each other laughing themselves. They loved playing small pranks and having as much fun together as they could when they were together. James’ face showed them that he didn’t really mean that they were both hard to deal with. In fact, he would never say anything but he loved when they would play pranks on him because it gave him a smile during the day. 

'Being honest, there’s neither of you that are the hardest to deal with or high maintenance so I can’t actually answer the question.' 

'Drink the bird saliva,' Harry declared. 

'Drink it! Drink it! Drink it!' The audience’s chants left James turning to them with an unimpressed expression. 

'You’re meant to be on my bloody side.' 

'James… drink the saliva.' 

After a deep breath, James necked the bird saliva and tried his best to keep it in his mouth but in the end he had to spit it out into the bucket by his feet. When he was sitting back up and glaring at Amelia and Harry, the cameras moved so that they were facing him. 

'Ladies and gentlemen, this has been spill your guts or fill your guts with Amelia Bray and Harry Styles!' 

After James’ final words, the TV in Taron’s living room went blank and Harry could be heard guffawing from his seat. Whenever he watched the video back he laughed just as hard as he had when he was filming it. Luke slapped his arm and turned to Amelia who was sitting motionless on the sofa. 

She didn’t speak up for a while after the video had finished and everyone was starting to get a little bit worried about her. 

'Everything alright, love?' Taron asked tentatively. 'I thought it was a really funny game.' 

'It would have been funny if they’d asked me a different question.' 

Harry sat forward in his seat and rested his elbows on his knees. 'What do you mean? That was a hilarious question.' 

'Again, it would have been.' 

Amelia’s repetition of her first response left everyone in the room confused. She had quickly grown quiet and fragile almost as she sat next to Taron  with her knees pulled up to her chest and Pickle by her side nuzzling into her.

'What do you mean ‘would’ have been?' Luke asked quietly.

 Amelia hadn’t told Harry why she hated the interview so much and he never pushed her on it because he thought she was messing with him. But seeing her sit next to Taron  genuinely almost in tears with her arms wrapped around her body made him see that maybe she wasn’t joking. He turned to Luke who shrugged her shoulders at him. 

'Henry and I…we weren’t together anymore when we filmed that. We’d broken up the night before and I had to act like everything was fine.' 

'Amelia, why didn’t you ever tell me?' Harry asked quickly, confused as to why he hadn’t known that his best friend was no longer in a relationship that day. He was confused and slightly hurt, though he knew that if Amelia didn’t tell him that there was a reason for it and he understood. 'I’d have made sure that there were no questions about him.' 

'Because I didn’t want to believe that we weren’t together anymore. It was an argument that blew up in the hotel room and I wound up sleeping on the sofa in the room.' 

'I’m so sorry,' Taron whispered as he wrapped his arm around Amelia and pulled her into his body where he held her tightly. She relished in having his arms around her again and she could feel herself becoming so comfortable that she let a few tears fall. 

'It’s fine,' she whispered back, 'it was a while ago now and I should be over it.' 

'Did you love him?' Taron’s question caught Amelia off guard. She nodded her head anyway. 

'I think I could have been but I also don’t think I was.' 

'You’re bound to still be upset when it wasn’t all that long ago and you had strong feelings for him. But you’ve got so many people around you who just want you to feel good, myself included.' 

'Thank you, Taron.' 

'That’s okay. I don’t want to take away from this moment and I’m sorry that I am but we really need to be heading off to the bed and breakfast if we’re going to get there in time.'

[lovemesomesurveys]

When’s the last time you ate bread? I'm about to eat a sandwich.

What’s the last movie you watched on your own? I watched Mrs. Doubtfire earlier and now Freaky Friday is on.

What about the last movie you watched with another person? My mom and I watched some of Avengers: Endgame last night before bed.

How many coats do you own? I have a few. I kinda feel ready to go through my clothes again and try to get rid of some more.

What about shoes? I have 6 pairs of shoes.

One word to describe your most recent ex? Funny.

Where, in your current country, would you like to live, other than where you do now? I'm honestly not sure. I know I don't want to stay here forever. I'd love to move in the very near future, but that probably won't happen.

Do you like snow? Yes.

Do you like sheer clothing? No.

Have you ever seen anyone famous in the street? When I first saw the Jonas Brothers early on I did actually see Joe and Kevin behind the building near their tour bus. I acted like the awkward weirdo I am and waved at them like a giddy idiot, ha. I was too nervous to actually go over there, though. Trust me, I kicked myself forever after that for not going up to meet them and getting a picture. It was the perfect opportunity.

Are you hungry right now? I am, so I'm gonna take a break from this and eat my sandwich.

Are you regularly tired? Yes. In fact, after I ate my sandwich I ended up taking like a 3 hour "nap." So, this is now being done much later, ha.

What was the last thing to upset you? I've been been extra irritable and sensitive again lately, which is something that I actually felt my depression med I started taking last year was helping with. I was also prescribed Rexulti in additon to what I'm taking, but I haven't taken it as consistently for different reasons and I'm wondering if that has something to do with it. I'm also on an anti-anxiety med, which had been helping with that as well so I don't know. And I already know I won't be able to get an increase in the dosage for any of those. Sigh.

How’s the weather been today? I didn't go out at all, but according to the weather app it was like 93 F today. Not fall weather at all that's for sure.

What was the first tattoo you got or what would be the first tattoo you’ll get? I don't have any, but since I was a teenager I've wanted to get 'free bird'.

What was the last store you went into and did you buy anything? It's this store called Daiso, which is kinda like a Japanese Dollar Store or a little more. It's got a lot of cute stuff. I always get a little carried away whenever I go in there.

Have you ever been late for school or work? Yeah. I hate being late so it wasn't a common occurrence. I used to be really anal about that.

Do you prefer to shower in the morning or at night? Always at night.

What is your favourite kind of fruit cobbler? Not a fruit cobbler kind of person.

Is there a basement in your house? If so, what is it used for? No.

Have you driven a car today? I don't drive.

Do you have a small, medium or large bedroom? It's too small. I've definitely outgrown it. Or maybe I have too much stuff but no it's just small okay shhh

Where was your first job and how old were you? I haven't had a job, yet.

Have you eaten soup this week? No. That doesn't sound appealing still it still feels very much like summer and I hate it.

Are you a fan of The Office? I just couldn't get into it.

When was the last time you started a new medication? A couple months ago.

What is your favourite type of nut? I very rarely eat nuts, it's been quite awhile since I've had any like I don't even remember. But anyway, that being said I do like a few like peanuts, cashews, pistachios, and season (not plain) almonds.

Do you know anyone who doesn’t have a middle name? Yeah.

Have you put your phone on silent today? No. The only time I do that is when I'm at the theater, and admittedly not always then. Not like my phone is blowing up with notifications.

Can you name all 50 US state capital cities? No, but I can name all 50 states in alphabetical order.

Do you read John Green novels? I only read a few.

Have you ever been to Universal Studios? I went once when I was like 7 and don't remember a whole lot to be honest. We also went to Disneyland after that and that I definitely remember.

Can you tie balloons? I can, but it can be hard sometimes.

When was the last time you were at a pet store? It's been a long time.

#personal #text #survey #surveys

[useful-boy]

So a while back I noticed tumblr stopped giving you notifications if you replied to your own post, which was honestly nice because I always found it annoying getting a notification that was Just me. Like yeah, I know I did that, I'm the one that made the post.

But now they're not even showing our own additions in the notes anymore? Which is bad.

...Okay I went to grab an example, but now that I'm looking at it with my most recent addition, it's even weirder? Here is the notes on my side blog post.

So it will show me a reblog if it has nothing but tags on it. But the earlier reblog where I added pictures and tags is invisible to me in the notes? What the hell?

#whatever theyre cooking tell em to stop #i like the not receiving new notifs in your activity feed when engaging with your own posts #but not even showing my additions in the actual notes of the post unless im adding Nothing but tags is so? what #tumblr

[pashminalamb]

Henlooo Belleeeeeee |ω･)ﾉ

I saw your reply on your other account (I hope you don't mind sending my reply here instead, tell me if it bothers you though! lol AND YESS OLIVER IS INDEED YOURS ;;) Thank you for asking how I've been doing lately <3 So far... It's honestly a mix of ( ; ω ; ) & (//▽//)

I'll elaborate the both of them separately

( ; ω ; )

We needed to have our OJT this semester at college (the reason being it's one of our requirements to finish)

I finished my Resume & portfolio for this during Christmas break so I can enjoy my holidays/new year better

I applied to one of my friend's companies and passed said requirements (a breath of relief for a moment)

It's been weeks now and I haven't received a single reply from any company to I've applied for an internship

I start to question myself "Oh no.. was my portfolio too bad? Was it the resume?!??" "Did I not pass the current standards inside the industry??" and the overthinking continues.

You know that one scene from the Blue Period where Yatora began to question his worth as an artist and slowly went spiraling into a dark void of emptiness?? (He once quit smoking and then he smokes again?) Yea... Minus the smoking part, I feel so--- ugh...

(//▽//)

This is going to sound cheesy but, it's actually seeing that you noticed my anonymous asks from your recent last event (the 2.2k Follower special! OMGAHHHHHH Congratulations Oliver Belle!!!! ╰(*´︶`*)╯). I was the one who asked the Rin's (Being proud of him, how to guide the virgin reader, and having a hard time sleeping!!) (*ﾉ∀`*) The number of times my face went ////////// I was really debating whether to show anon or not c-cuz I'm too timid and...thefactthatIaskednsfwthingssometimesmademescreamontheinsidecuzAAAAWTHDIDIJUST... B-BUT NEXT TIME I WILL SHOW MYSELF NOT ANON!! >:3 I like how it's soooo easy to navigate through your blog here whenever I want to read the previous asksss!!!

ONE OF MY FAVORITE ILLUSTRATORS NOTICED MY MESSAGE!!!! This just happened recently. Y-you see, I saw this video where he explains how a good portfolio works and mentioned "You need to go ask experts, heck, your favorite artists even. Ask them if your art is up to standards or if should you improve this part or nah. Just go and ask!" after being so downhearted since no company still replied to me yet, I've already expected that I'll get the same treatment from h-him. But REALITY said "SIKE!" and a notification from him crossed over to whatever I was looking at that time. What did I do? I SLAMMED MY PHONE TO THE COUCH IN DISBELIEF AND MY FACE-- COMPLETELY FLUSHEDDDDD I-I F-FUEEEEEE??????!?!?????? (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄) OML A-AND HE SAID---

"Hello! I took a look at the link and you have more experience in working for others than me. I think that's one of the most important things that companies look at. Your art is already good (the colours are pleasant and the lighting is good, you are already familiar and knowledgeable with drawing basics so there's no worries about that!) so the thing that needs focus for portfolio will be the work experience and samples from that work experience ^^)

I CAN'T BELIEVE ITTTTT AAAAAAAAAAAAAA. I'M JUST FLABBERGASTED WHEN HE CONSIDERED MY ART AS GOOD (and he even finds my colouring pleasant too!!! ;;;;;;; (/▽＼*)｡o○♡) IT MEANT A LOOOOOOOTTTTT TO MEEE considering what I've experienced from the last couple of days ><

OMFG I GOT RIN IN BLUELOCK WORLD CHAMPION!! My hard work finally paid off ;;; I'm currently aiming to reach his bond points to level 20 so I could listen to his voice lines (Godbless u Ucchi uwu) and apply what I've studied through self-studying the language. So far, I've decoded little bits from the in-game conversations during training sessions. Assistant-chan (us in-game) is patient with Rin and helped him run through sessions. There was this time when Isagi mentioned something about Valentine's choco causing Rin to frown (the game surprisingly have a face model ready for it too). There was also a time when Rin is casually being Rin while Assistant-chan brushes them off or played along which I find entertaining~ I think the game would be releasing your man and Sae too (considering that Sae's icon could be seen in Club Icons)

That's just about it for mee >< Oh yea! About the tag list you'll be making (if u do)... would it be alright to be tagged to sfw, nsfw, and yandere?? :3

Also!! From that one reblog you just posted, I'm currently assuming that you discovered fanfics when you were around high school

Hi mon ange <3 idm you messaging on either pretty, I just dropped my discord on the other acc - so that moots can feel free to text me :) Oliver has been giving me brainrots when i'm learning something new - and cause of that ao3 would be witnessing me creating a fourth work *sigh* so happy to see him in the latest chapters cause i have been waiting patiently for 6 months n over v.v Honestly, i get the anxiety around OJTs - very relatable understanding with Yatora's dilemma too cause he was worried if he was gonna get into a prestigious art school but here's something i learnt - having a positive mind with confidence and faith in yourself can go a really long way. Cheer up you're gonna do fine! ૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა Aw, thank you for participating in the event! and I hope you had fun playing honestly, i feel some of people n anons are nervous or embarrassed to send in nsfw asks - so I'll have to make some more rules while - there is no slut or virgin shaming on my blog and honestly, I may have ventured on something myself that I am too embarrassed about monsterfucking so... yeah - ao3 is gonna witness an abomination of a fourth book cause of the thoughts i have in my head... mixed with blue lock characters... Congrats Mino! I agree with you on this one, creators are actually thrilled when ppl ask them to review their work or to take a look at it cause ik when I do that, i am stoked and i try to help with what can be improved or places that needs tending to And you got Rin! you're not gonna believe it but the first draft I had of yandere rin was the whole choco fiasco, but then I changed the story line n something even more weird is when I made ghostface! Rin, the trailer for scream chapter 5 came out! n omg Aiku is getting released- I- T^T i will try downloading it (ik i'm gonna abandon it soon cause i did the same with genshin n obey me) And ofc ! I'll add you to the taglist when I release new works on ao3 :> As for the assume game, yes! i did discover fanfics when I was 14 - 15 (was on a quest for knb when i found it) - i began using wattpad n then i shifted to tumblr then ao3 ao3 was confusing for me to use at first n as I got older

#belle.☏ #.moot🍦: mino

[scary-senpai]

For the fanfic ask game...I can't actually decide. XD How about any two of your choice?

Ahh! Thank you so much bestie <3 I really appreciate you dropping an ask. I did not get to this on Tuesday because brain melt (!), but seeing you in my notifications made me smile <3<4

You also get a third bonus question because You Are Great.

(link to fanfic ask game is here--feel free to drop a note! asks are my love language)

C: What character do you identify with most?

Garou. I've always gravitated towards overtly angry, troublesome male characters and I've recently come to suspect it has something to do with gender: growing up, I felt a lot of anger/frustration/confusion over my identity (not my gender identity, necessarily, but more like How to Human as an Autistic person). To navigate this, I over-corrected by confirming to whatever my idea of femininity was, in the worst possible way. (I guess I would say I'm a cis-female but I've never really cared that much).

Since I spent a lot of my adolescence trying to make myself smaller and weaker (because that's how I thought girls/women were supposed to be), I suspect if I had been AMAB I would have focused on becoming bigger and stronger.

In any case, I understand the quiet desperation of exercising until you pass out because of that lingering sensation of not-enoughness.

I also talked a bit about spending seven years with a toxic mentor that was frustratingly competent about a bunch of stuff (but just... horribly misguided when it came to personal relationships), and when I use one of the techniques he taught me (whatever Fist of Flowing Water Crushed Rock is, but for emotions), I inevitably flash back to that scene with Garou and the Tank-Top Gang ("I hate using this because it reminds me of him--").

Anyway, after that I left that job I went to touch grass/do something completely different (work in a yoga studio) because I just needed to... scrub toilets and fold a bunch of towels and untangle all the things I'd learned that were (in a sense) true, versus the concepts I wanted to embody and believe in and manifest. Additionally, my experience working there also informs some of the scenes I write with Garou in the dojo (mostly him griping about how nobody seems to take chores as seriously as he does, or how he keeps finding other people's underwear in weird places with literally no logical explanation for why that might be).

L: How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting?

A thousand times, possibly a billion.

Just kidding, but it feels like too many. (The first chapter of Collateral Damage took me like eight months...I probably should have put it on ice for a bit, honestly)

Fic was my way of learning to write again, and I've never written any longform fiction, so multi-chapter fic in particular have been an experiment in how my brain works, and the tools I need to efficiently craft a story. If there are multiple layers to a scene, I don't always have the mental processing power to work out each aspect at once (what the character's say vs. what they mean, what they do / how they do it / what this indicates about them, plus any undercurrents of narrative tension or symbolism or whatever). So that's been a whole thing. I think I'm getting better at it, though. Flumptober Sexy Chess scene had a lot going on (and completely derailed all my deadlines), but knowing that I can labor on a beloved chapter for weeks instead of months was... a milestone, honestly.

"Kill your darlings before they kill you" is my new mantra, and unfortunately I had to learn that the hard way.

U: Share three of your favourite fic writers and why you like them so much.

@beileil, you're one of my favorite authors because of the way you blend so many things: humor, plot (specifically mystery), characterization and lovely prose. Even in an AU, the characters are very much themselves but they're also new and unique. One of my bad writing habits is that I will sometimes skip over description if it doesn't really speak to me, but with your stories I hang on every word--I remember reading the Hero Detective Agency and feeling completely emerged in that universe from the beginning.

@sharuruwrites, I think you are excellent at putting characters in Situations. I like how you manage to zoom in on some of the grittier aspects of characters (like how bloodthirsty Toji and Sukuna can be, or how Gojo is So Very Immature and Extra) and, without glossing them over, somehow make these traits more endearing (or at least understandable/relatable). I feel like every scene and small detail moves towards some sort of purpose, and if I blink, I'll miss something.

I guess my third favorite fic writer is my brother. I wonder if he remembers that we used to write silly stories about Mario sometimes (I was 12 or 13 which means he was 9 or 10, so I was probably typing while he was dictating). I am both insatiably curious and afraid to ask. In any case, he's still a hilarious storytelling and I hope to write more (original) things with him some day.

#ask game #asks #my writing #garou #splendiferous mutuals

[beingsuneone]

Hi kaillei! I read one of your recents posts about ur writing and it made me so sad because I can actually relate to what you wrote but I went through your masterlist when I had sometime during my schoolbreaks today and I really liked your writings!! I think they are really great and have a nice flow! I'm usually skeptikal with minors' writings because I have been traumatized by years of falling upon poorly written Wattpad bad boy stories and fanfictions (I know this doesn't apply to ALL minors but you get my point right?) but I have to say I was pleasantly surprised with your works. They just have that thing that makes them special. I especially liked the Recollection Yoongi fic. It really made my heart clench :,) Anyways, you're doing great and just remember that numbers don't make you a better writer or so❤️

😭 hi, I saw the notifs and I was lil confused lol but that was really sweet of you and I just wanna say thank you so much. I totally get being skeptic ao about minors writing (believe me I have to actively avoid most fics because they’re either absolutely wattpad or 18+) I think the reason it makes me sad is like I know my writing isn’t bad <\3 like sure it’s not the best but I’ve grown through my cringey phases and I have deadass abandoned wips that felt like too much or too dramatic. And like, I know numbers don’t matter, they really don’t but it can be a tad disheartening seeing things that I spent so much time on and put so many emotions into not reaching people. You know, something about not being able to see people reacting to it and experiencing everything and more than I did while writing it.

You know, funnily enough I’ve gotten a lot of praise on recollections and it was one of the story’s that I felt like I didn’t do so well on, I honestly felt like I forced myself into finishing it and, while I knew it was good (I wouldn’t have posted it otherwise), I just felt like I could do so much better. However, reading back on that story I liked it a lot more.

#anyways sorry for long long paragraphs #I really appreciate you <33 #thank you

[hyeque]

RISU. I have been marinating in your tags all day. And let me just say I LOVE YOU SM?!? on both your tags for my akaashi and ushijima fics... there's a lot to unpack SO firstly,

WE ARE READER. i have only recently considered annotating with transparent post-it notes but honestly I like my books looking 'unread'. BUT ALSO YES. so, pretty much all of those books are books I have read!!

1Q84 - I've read MANY Murakami books but I always really liked this one!! There are definitely some uh, adult themes that people might not vibe with in Murakami books and I get that but overall I LOVE his worlds.

Night Circus - I'm actually halfway done with this book and I really, really like it so far!

Love in the time of Cholera - my ultimate favorite book, probably? I actually lended my copy to my bf when we had first started dating.

Before The Coffee Gets Cold - I have not read this yet but I want to!!

Memoirs of A Polar Bear - I picked and read this book and a whim and I liked that it was literally a generational book on this polar bear family. My bf and I are in a LDR and this was one of the first books I chose for our little book club. The other book he chose was Circe, WHICH I HAVEN'T READ YET BUT HAVE HEARD GREAT THINGS ABOUT.

ANYWAY, that honestly warms my heart so much that this is probably your favorite piece of my writing??! I wasn't feeling confident about writing for akaashi because I don't feel like I have a strong grasp on his character BUT it made my day to read that. :'))))

SECONDLY, so sorry for making you hungry whenever you read my fics!! i literally have another wip for komori and it's literally pasta night LOL so. but of course I had to throw in some tendou crumbs! i feel like my fics aren't complete without referencing another character lol. ooo, but honestly lemonade from scratch sounds SO SO GOOD. and takes me back to when I was a kid collecting lemons in our yard to make lemonade in the summer :'))

This got really long BUT, I just want you to know that I love you and I super appreciate your tags in a way that I don't think I could articulate well in words. I just get filled with warm fuzzies and stuff when i see your name pop up in my notifs <3 <3

LAURA MY BELOVED ‼️💗💗💗 i’m so sorry for not replying right away, my fatigue got the best of me and i literally passed out and went to sleep in the middle of cleaning.

but literally ilysm, and yanno i gotta tell you how much i adore u and your writing all the time LMAO but i totally feel you about akaashi’s characterization bc he’s quite complex sometimes imo. but the way you wrote him was so seamless and (perhaps he reminds you of your boyfriend in ways?) makes sm sense.

i never thought of giving transparent post it notes a go, so i’ll have to revisit that idea bc at least that can make things somewhat neater (? idk if that makes sense) and i also like placing color coded markers (for like quotes, or new words, characters introduced, etc).

i’m going to write these books down and check them out! i haven’t read solid books in a good minute (only manga lol) and if you say they’re good then i just know they’ll be amazing !! i think that it is absolutely adorable that you and your boyfriend have a little book club, that sounds like literally a scene out of a movie <3

omg pasta w komori sounds lovely !! i love pasta a lot and haven’t read for komori so i’m excited to see how you do your boy justice !! i think it’s always lovely to reference other characters and i do the same bc it just seems natural to hehe <3 but ty for the tendo crumbs !! making homemade lemonade is fun, i haven’t done it in awhile but it’s therapeutic to just make something, yanno ? :0

i appreciate leaving tags behind on ur work and that they make you happy !! you deserve the love bc you write the most beautiful things and the world deserves to know!! i’m gonna finish your ushi series tomorrow and can’t wait to read the rest of it ! ilysm laura dearest <3

#chats with: laura