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brrahbrrahcharacterimagines · 3 years

Text

Sensei (Jiraiya x reader) SMUT

MASTERLIST

Pairing: Jiraiya x Reader

Word Count: 2580

Warnings: Masturbation (female), cum, oral (male receiving), dirty sex, sensei kink?, praise kink

A/N: I'm not even sorry

Starting your ninja training older than everyone else meant you always felt like you were behind. While all the other students became chunin in their mid-teens, you were 18 before you even took the exam.

That being said, you were older than most of your sensei's previous students.

It didn't used to bother you as much as it did now. Sure, you were sad before that you felt as if you were falling behind the other students. However, now you were worried for another reason. You were worried that Jiraiya saw you as a kid.

He was used to having young students, and he saw them in many ways as his children. You assumed he had the same kind of relationship with you, despite your age. This was fine at first, but the more time you spent with your sensei the more you wanted him to see you differently.

For your part, you had begun seeing him differently already. You took notice of his broad chest, his strong arms. He was trying to teach you a new justu, showing you better form.

Jiraiya was pressed against your back, his arms around your own so he could move your hands to the correct position. His hot breath fanned against your neck, making a chill run up your spine. To him it was no more than teaching a student, but for you it was the moment you began to see him as more than your teacher. Feeling his strong chest pressed up against you ignited a fire inside of you, one that still had not dimmed.

After that day, everything about the way you saw your sensei changed. Previously you hadn't cared much for the way the "Pervy Sage" chased women. You only cared about it in relation to your training, annoyed when you were unable to find your sensei. Now you found yourself jealous when he slunk off to bars or brothels alone, feeling as if he had chosen the option of being with other women over being with you.

You knew these women meant nothing to him, and many didn't even reciprocate his advances. Even so, there was already another woman that actually did mean something to him: Tsunade.

There was no way you could compete with her. She was another of the legendary Sannin, having trained with Jiraiya when they were young. Not only was she admirable for her strength, but she had also spent many years forming a bond with Jiraiya that you felt you could never attain. You knew how he felt about her, and despite the feelings being unrequited it hurt you more deeply than you would ever want to admit to him.

Tonight was nothing special. Another night, another village you would spend the night alone in. Jiraiya was already off for the night, no doubt to "gather intel" for his newest Icha Icha book.

You sighed, laying back on your bed in the room you had rented for the night. Your heart ached a little as you looked to the other bed in the room, one that would most likely stay empty tonight as Jiraiya found a bed elsewhere.

Giving up on feeling sorry for yourself, you looked around the room for something to do. You didn't feel like training, having already gone at it all day. You'd already eaten too, crossing that option off your mental list as well. It was times like this that you wish you had a hobby to bring on the road with you.

Glancing back over at Jiraiya's empty bed, something caught your eye. It was his newest publication, another of the Icha Icha series. You had to admit, something about the series had always intrigued you. Before you had always been too shy to pick up a copy, worried about what others might think of you. It's not like you had to worry about Jiraiya coming back tonight when he would be so busy.

You snatched the copy off his bed, flipping it open. The first few pages weren't bad, simply two characters going about their day together. However, it was only a couple more pages in when the characters made it back home and shut the door behind them.

It was filthy.

You had known the kind of content in these books, and had known the type of man that Jiraiya was. He wasn't one to tiptoe around a dirty word, but you had no idea just how dirty he could be in his writing. You read on.

He reached his hands up her blouse, taking a delicate, hardening nipple in each hand. A cry of his name escaped her hips as he began to gently rub circles around them, smirking at her reaction.

As you read the words on the page, you could feel yourself becoming more and more aroused as each word went by. You could almost feel Jiraiya's hands on your body, copying the movements of the characters.

You felt a flash of heat through your body, down towards your womanhood. Without feeling them you already knew your panties would be soaked. Knowing it was Jiraiya who had wrote this was making your mind run wild, imagining he were doing all of these things to you.

You continued reading, moving the book to your non-dominate hand so the other could crawl up your shirt. You grabbed your boob in your own hand, reading on. You flicked a finger across one of your nipples, relishing in the feeling of how hard it already was. You stifled a gasp at the touch, feeling dirty. The situation was giving you a rush, and it was turning you on more than you had been in a long time.

You couldn't stop reading, as if you were possessed. All you could do was read page after page, the actions escalating.

She undid his pants, puling them down to let his hard cock spring free. All she wanted was to take it into her mouth, and she did. Swirling her tongue around the sensitive tip she tasted his precum, only urging her to continue.

You pictured the scene in your head, imagining what it would be like to take Jiraiya into your mouth that way. Imagining it only made you more turned on, thinking about looking up at him through your lashes as he bucked his hips towards you, fucking your mouth.

He lined himself up at her entrance, holding back from slamming into her wetness. He slid his cock along her folds, teasing her until she begged for it to be inside of her.

You moved your own hand down into your panties, soaked just as you had expected. Your body lit up as you reached for your clit, rubbing small circles around the sensitive bud. A soft moan came from your throat, only making you wish Jiraiya were the one to ease it out of you.

You moved your fingers further downward, rubbing along the outside of your pussy. Lost in the moment, you didn't even hear the door creak open.

It had been a long night for Jiraiya, and a lonely one at that. Any girl he tried to flirt with denied his advances, and he hadn't even gotten any intel on the mission out of it. He decided to call it a night, walking back to the room he had rented for the two of you.

He expected you to already be asleep, as you usually were on the nights he returned. However, as he reached the door he heard more than snoring coming from the room. At first, he thought he had remembered the room number incorrectly.

For a moment, Jiraiya stood outside. Was there a man in there with you? He decided to peek inside, wanting to see if he needed to go and get his own room for the night.

Opening the door, his eyes went straight to you. He felt his eyes widen so large he was afraid they would pop out of his head. You were laying on your bed in only your panties, and from the sounds in the room he could tell they were already soaked through. Your breasts were on full display, making him wonder why he didn't look at them more often. In fact, he began to wonder why he didn't look at you as a whole more often. He was no stranger to finding younger, though of-age, women attractive, but something about being your mentor had made him block you off in his mind.

Now, as his eyes darted from your breasts to your pussy in an attempt to take it all in, he was mad at himself for not letting himself be attracted to you sooner.

Then he noticed your other hand. In it was a copy of his latest novel, and based on how many pages were left you had just gotten to the good part.

His dick had already begun to press on his pants from the sight of you, but now he knew what had made you feel this way.

It was him.

"Glad to see you enjoy my writing," he said cockily.

"Glad to see you enjoy my writing," you heard . Your hand froze in place as your eyes flashed to the doorway. To your horror you saw Jiraiya standing there. How much had he seen?

You shrieked, grabbing the blanket at your feet so you could pull it over your exposed body.

"Easy, it's not like I haven't already seen it now." He teased.

"What are you doing back tonight?" You barked, trying to hide your embarrassment with anger.

"I just wish I'd waited a little longer to come back, maybe you would have already had your panties off."

You knew these were the words of a pervy old man, but you couldn't help the way you felt as you heard them come from Jiraiya. Finally having the courage to look at him, you noticed how dark his eyes had gotten. Looking down, it was hard not to notice the tent forming in his pants.

You had thought you were already as turned on as you could have been, but seeing the way he looked at you was on another level entirely. You had always wanted him to look at you this way, wanted him to desire you.

You let the blanket fall, exposing yourself to him again. You tried not to show your excitement at the way you could see his smile grow as his eyes darted back to your chest.

"How about you take them off for me, sensei?"

You thought you had given the older man a heart attack. He froze, something you figured uncommon for a man so experienced as Jiraiya. He only faltered for a moment, quickly regaining his thoughts and making quick strides over towards you.

He did as you asked, tearing your panties from your body and rubbing his calloused fingers against your pussy. You moaned at the contact, rolling your hips towards Jiraiya.

"You like that?" He asked, "do you like it when your sensei touches you like this?"

You could barely respond, merely nodding as he elicited another moan from you. He leaned towards you, capturing your lips in his own. In the same moment you reached towards him, wrapping your arms around his broad shoulders.

"Fuck Jiraiya," you moaned as he began kissing down your neck towards your breasts. Jiraiya smirked at your reaction, knowing what he was doing to you. He pulled away just long enough to undress his torso, coming back to lick a circle around your nipple. One of your hands roamed his chest, running your fingers over the scar you found so sexy. The other buried itself deep in his thick, white hair, trying to pull him closer to you.

He took a nipple into his mouth, sucking on your tit as he lazily rolled his tongue around the bud. You continued to moan, urging him on.

For his part in the matter, Jiraiya hadn't felt this young in a long time. Sure, he'd had a run-in or two at a brothel, but nothing like this. Something about this felt more real to him. He knew all of the noises you made for him were genuine, and all he wanted to do was make them get louder.

You felt yourself reaching closer to orgasm as Jiraiya pulled away, taking off his pants. You raised your eyebrows as he exposed himself, met with more than you had expected. For a moment you were worried it wouldn't fit.

"Get on your knees for your sensei."

You did as you were told, getting on your knees so that you could take him eagerly into your mouth. You thought back to the earlier pages in the book, swirling your tongue around the head of his cock.

"Fuck Y/n," he groaned, trying to push more of himself into your mouth. "Your mouth feels so fucking good baby."

You moaned around his cock at the words of praise, sending delicious vibrations through his body.

Looking up at Jiraiya, everything was even better than you had imagines. His hand was in your hair, pulling you further onto his dick.

"That's right baby, get this dick nice and wet so I can fuck you."

You did just that, excited when he pulled out of you mouth. He pulled you up off the floor as if you weighed nothing, pushing you back on the bed.

"Do you want this baby?" Asked Jiraiya, lining himself up.

"Yes sensei," you moaned, teasing him and trying to push your hips closer to his. "Please fuck me Jiraiya."

At your words he pushed himself into you, going slowly enough to let you adjust to his size. When you were ready you started rocking your hips against his, begging him to move.

He began thrusting in and out of you, his thighs slapping against yours in a way that made your pussy throb.

"Jiraiya," you moaned, already feeling close to orgasm after being so close earlier in the night. You could tell he was feeling the same, the tightness of your wet pussy driving him crazy.

Jiraiya looked down at you, watching your tits bounce as he fucked you in a way he had never imagined. Your eyes rolled back and your mouth parted as he thrust into you, only adding to his ego as well as his own pleasure.

"You're gonna make me cum looking like that," he grunted. All you could do was moan in response, holding eye contact with him long enough to feel his thrust falter a little.

The tension was building up in the pit of your stomach until Jiraiya shifted, hitting your g-spot as he thrust. You couldn't hold on any longer, walls contracting around his cock as you screamed his name. He didn't last long after that, your pussy clenching around him pushing him over the edge. He pulled out, spilling over your stomach as he finished jerking himself off.

As he finished, he leaned down to press a kiss to your tired lips. Something about the action felt almost domestic, and you couldn't deny the butterflies in your stomach.

"I'm glad I brought this with me," joked Jiraiya, motioning to the book that lie forgotten on the floor.

"Me too," you teased. He smiled back at you with sleepy, satisfied eyes. This would be far from the last time, you were sure. And you couldn't wait for the next one.

MASTERLIST

#jiraiya x reader #jiraiya x reader smut #naruto x reader #legendary sannin #toad sage x reader #pervy sage x reader #pervy sage x reader smut #jiraiya smut #naruto smut #naruto shippuden x reader

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babytaes · 3 years

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reaction to build-a-bear workshop date| en- ─ ot7 ˎˊ˗

✧ heeseung ∘*

“You know, I think I could stuff you a lot better.” You quickly spun around and struck him on the shoulder, gasping.

“We're in public, heeseung” As you watched the worker giggle from the side, you averted her gaze. When she noticed the disturbance, she pulled the bear from your grip and went on with the rest of the task.

As you walked away from him, he became perplexed and swiftly returned to your side.

“What, did I say something wrong?”

You couldn't believe this kid; had he said something inappropriate? You were astounded by his idiocy, but you still adored him and his peculiarities.

“No love, don’t worry about it,” pushing him to the side you heard the lady call you as you went to grab your bear. As you thanked her, you proceeded to the clothing aisle and grabbed some clothes to put on her.

Hearing his breath as he whispered in your ears, you felt a pair of hands on your waist.

“I wasn’t joking what I stated before.”

“Keep it in your pants, Lee,” you said as you pushed him away and marched up to the cash register to pay.

“Y/N come backkk”

✧ jay ∘*

On most days, an unexpected date surprised you, but this one threw you for a loop. Build-A-Bear was the last place that came to mind.

As we walked into the store, you could feel his energy pouring from his body, as his eyes gleamed.

As you've seen your fair share of bears and already have one at home, the various sizes and hues do their best to get your attention.

“I didn't think you were the kind to like plush animals.”

From across the room, you could hear him chuckle as he touched all of the bears, making sure he got the right one.

“The more you know, the better.” As he plucked a tan bear from the shelf, he smirked. As his eyes lit, you could see his entire body take in a breath of life. It was like you were looking at a child in a candy store.

Unless he wanted to start having date nights at Victoria Secrets, you weren't going to ruin this moment for him.

You would have definitely seen a different person then, oh my.

✧ jake ∘*

“You're lying, I have a lot more bears than you have, and if you have a lot more, I'll buy you one to prove that I lost.”

Extending your hand to his, you firmly shook it and chuckled as you thought about the new bear you were going to have.

You were both on your way to Build-A-Bear, and Jake was still surprised that you had 25 bears. Yes, he did count them.

“All right, let's call this a date. It seems to me that it would help you feel better.” Jake's ears perked up as he smiled broadly at you with that perked up puppy stare.

“Deal”

You grabbed a pre-stuffed bear from the shelf and held it in your palm. You hugged it warmly as you held it under your fingertips.

“This is the one!”. He took your hand in his and went to pay for the bear, and you smiled brightly at him as he did so.

“Quit smiling at me; I can't concentrate while you're staring at me like that.”

“Thank you, babe,”

As he walked out of the store, he grabbed the bag and thanked the lady, saying, "Anything to make your addiction bigger."

✧ sunghoon ∘*

You glanced at Sunghoon as he struggled to come up with a recording for your twin bears, “Is this your first time doing this?”

“I promise you, this is the last one. It has to be perfect. On the last one, my tone was off.” You laughed as you walked away from him and his recording.

As you walked throughout the store, you selected different clothing for sunghoon's bear, including a fashionable suit for his bear. In suits, he always looks good.

You heard his cries as he motioned you over to the cashier, and as you approached him, he snickered as you showed him your teddy.

“Wow, I look really good in a suit.”

“That's what I said as well,” taking your hand in his, you both paid for the different bears and exited the store, stopping immediately next to a chair area.

He took out the bear and motioned for you to gently squeeze her paw, fearful for the message, you softly squeeze it.

“I love you, my princess.”

You pulled him in for a hug as you kissed his lips, tearing up as soon as you heard it.

“I will treasure her for the rest of my life.”

✧ sunoo ∘*

“Hug it whenever you miss me and think of me.” The boys were about to embark on a tour, and not seeing him on a daily basis was going to break your heart.

So sunoo decided to take you on a date to Build-A-Bear Workshop to get you both a bear so you can have one made as a couple. Having one that was ours, even when you had one at home, was special.

“Pick whatever you want, my treat,” says sunoo. You squeal and jump about the store, looking for a bear, while smiling brilliantly.

Not just any bear, but one made with the love of both of you.

You whirled around and placed a strawberry spotted one in Sunoo's hands after picking it up. He adored it when he saw you doing something you enjoyed, and despite his sadness at having to leave you, he felt you were strong enough to overcome it.

“sunoo look at this outfit; let's choose two. Oh, and they've got caps, too!”

He stepped up and gave a kiss on your forehead as he continued to assist you in finding an outfit for our bear!

✧ jungwon ∘*

“Can we please get a cat? He looks exactly like me.” You came to a halt and took the cat-like one from the shelf, inspecting him for a moment.

“I mean”

As he swung around, he pouted in front of you and grabbed your arm. A trick he used where he got his way most of the time.

Who could possibly resist his pouty eyes, right? It worked for the members, and it worked particularly well for you.

“All right, but don't start meowing or anything else, or I'll put you up for adoption.” He leaped up and down like a child, grabbing the cat and sprinting to the stuffing department.

As he giggled, you swear you heard a meow come from his mouth.

“I'm not going to play with you, jungwon; I'm going to give you up.”

“Like you could get rid of me”

✧ niki ∘*

Even though he put on this act for enhypen, you could see the true youngster behind the mask as his eyes literally glowed as we approached the Build-A-Bear store.

You can't blame him; his adolescence was put on hold at such a young age, and in this field, you have to mature faster, therefore the thrill was definitely desired.

“Pick what you want, I want to treat you today, okay?”

“You sure?”

You pecked him on the cheek and pushed him towards the wide bear options, saying, "Go for it child."

Despite the fact that this day was intended for him to relive some childhood memories, he showered you with affection as you returned to the staff car.

“Thank you very much, y/n; I couldn't have asked for a nicer date.”

You put your head on his shoulder and grinned as he pulled you into another hug. “You better not love her more than me,” you said.

He smirked as he held onto the bear, “hmm?”

“NIKIIIIIII”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

➳ Navigate to the Maze

#enhypen #enhypen writers #enhypen imagines #enhypen scenarios #enhypen fluff #enhypen heeseung #enhypen Jay #enhypen jake #enhypen sunghoon #enhypen sunoo #enhypen niki #lee heeseung #jay park #jake shim #kim sunoo #park sunghoon #nishimura riki #enhypen masterlist #babytaes works

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saidrolav · 3 years

Text

We know.

Sam Wilson x gn!reader

(bit of Steve Rogers x gn!reader (platonic))

Summary: You're in a secret relationship with Sam and things go out of control when Bucky and Steve find out about it.

Warnings: none! purely fluff! :))

A/n: Hiii everyone! I'm participating at the writing challenge of @sweeterthanthis with my babe Sam, been dying to write for him lately!! Congratulations on your 6K followers!!! Hope you enjoy! #quotemeonit6kchallenge

Prompts: “They don’t know that we know they know we know.” - Friends

not my gif!

Bucky threw his bag across his appartment that he shared with Steve and made this one jump when he heard the door slam. The blonde frowned and looked at Bucky with concern but before he could say something the brunette spoke first.

"You'll never guess who i saw at the coffee shop." A wide smile took place on Bucky's face which made Steve smile too.

"I don't know, who-" "I SAW Y/N !" Steve frowned with confusion but Bucky once again said something before he could answer. "That's the thing! They told us they were going to the library." "Hum, yeah, but they could've stopped by the coffee shop you know.."

Bucky jumped next to Steve on the couch where he was sitting and his smile was growing wider and wider as much as Stevie was talking. "They weren't alone !" "What ?" "They were with Sam !" Steve's eyes widened before smiling too, realization starting to hit him and Buck only got more excited at the reaction of his friend.

"You think they're dating ?" "Definitly." The brunette looked absolutely confident about what he was saying. "They saw you ?" "No." "How do you know ?" "I know when i'm being watched-Okay anyway, it's the perfect time for pranks !" Buck always liked to make fun of Sam and if Steve could be a part of a prank, he will.

Steve got up from the couch and started walking, with his head in his hands, searching ideas of pranks to do on you and Sam. Pranks sounded appealing, he didn't thought of a second choice, why would he ? Suddenly something popped in his head and he turned around to face Buck with a huge grin plastered on his features.

"So, they don't know that we know ?"

You and Sam weren't dating for so long, maybe 2 or 3 months but it was love at first sight. When Steve had introduced the two of you Sam was speechless by your beauty and it was the first time he didn't know what to say to a charming person to make them blush. Steve and Bucky didn't noticed the chemistry between the two of you but both, you and Sam knew there was something going on inside your stomachs when you were close, and it was intoxicating.

When you were around each other your whole skin felt like burning and your mouth was going dry. Him, he was lost in his thoughts while looking at you and was somehow shy to say dumb things, he didn't wanted to look like an idiot in front of you. His heart was shattering everytime you would laugh and even more if he was the reason of your laugh, he felt like you weren't thinking he was stupid and, it was a relief for him.

So, as soon as the two of you started dating the first thing you started to do was hiding your relationship to everyone. You didn't want anyone to interfere with your relation because it was just, too perfect. You were scared that any little thing would break everything and it was way too soon to tell everyone that the both of you were dating.

The lies started soon towards your two bestfriends Bucky and Steve, and today was like any other day. You said to them that you were going to the library only to met Sam at the coffeeshop and as always he would take your breath away. Even if you were dating for 2 months he was always stunning to you, he greeted you with a hug and a huge smile which you fastly returned.

Your date was going abdolutely perfect like you had imagined. You and Sam talked about everything and he was really funny, as always, he was making you laugh like no-one ever did. It was amazing. After a good thirty minutes and a cup of coffee you frowned a bit when you saw Steve's number appearing on your phone. You apologized to Sam quickly before answering, taking a last sip of your cup.

"Hey y/n! Are you busy right now ?" You frowned even more and gave a quick glance at Sam before answering quickly.

"No, no i'm not, why ?" You waited slowly for the blonde answer while biting your lip, afraid something happened to him.

"Oh cool! Huh," you heard him clear his throat trough the phone, "I was thinking maybe we could go on a date somewhere.. Just the two of us." Your eyes widened suddenly and Sam choked on his coffee. Wow. You clearly weren't expecting that, like, at all, especially in front of Sam. Steve was asking you on a date ? He was like a brother to you, like Bucky, and all of this seemed so weird to you.

"Hum.. Steve i like you a lot but, not in that way, you know.." Your eyes were scanning Sam's face for help but he clearly was under the shock himself and you could see a bit of jealousy in his features.

"Oh! Huh, that's okay, see ya!" Before you could say something else he had already hang up, leaving you alone with Sam and the silence between the two of you. After a couple of minutes in a huge akward silence, Sam talked.

"They know." You furrowed your eyebrows and tilted your head on the side, waiting for him to explain what he meant. "I mean, they know about us! And they're messing with us. Bucky or Steve must have seen us together. Steve wouldn't do that to you, i mean, i hope." A bright smile took place on his lips and soon on yours too, it all made sense.

"So, now that they know we can tell them about us!" You took his hands with excitation but he cocked an eyebrow at you while a mischievous smirk replaced the smile on his lips. "But, they don't know that we know that they know." You frowned even more and at this point your head started to hurt of too much thinking but after you had figured it out, it was your turn to cock an eyebrow at Sam.

"What do you offer ?"

"The messers become the messees !"

On the other side of town, Bucky and Steve were way too happy about their joke that they had ordered pizzas to their victory.

Little did they know that on your side, you and Sam were preparing your revenge. Soon, the laughs of the super soldiers were cut by a phone that was ringing and Steve realized it was his. He took it in his hand and cocked an eyebrow, showing the screen to Bucky and he read quickly your name on it.

Steve answered to your call while frowning. "Y/N is everything okay ?" He took a slice of pizza and shoved it in his mouth fastly.

"Yeah Steve! I kinda changed my mind, i'm fine with going on a date with you!" Steve's eyes widened and he opened his mouth but no sound came out and he went back to reality when Bucky slapped his arm. "O-Oh really ?" "Yeah! I'll pick you up at the appartment in ten minutes be ready!"

Bucky eyes widened and got up from the couch suddenly making movements to tell Steve to stay at the appartment so he could hear how the fake date would go. "Yeah huh, actually, don't pick me up, let's just stay at my place!" He cringed at himself for saying this to you because he clearly had only platonic feelings around you. "Fine! See ya later!" He said a quick goodbye and got up from the couch too looking at Bucky with horror.

"I can't believe Y/N would do that to Sam!" Bucky frowned and Steve too, realization hitting them. "Okay, they know. They're pranking us too. They're not backing down! What do we do ? You're gonna have a date! But... They don’t know that we know they know we know." Bucky cringed too and run his fingers trough his hair while searching for an option. "I don't have time Buck they're coming here in like, 10 minutes!" "Okay i'll be in the bathroom, get ready, if it's getting out of control come to see me." Steve nodded quickly, hating the idea of having to fake a date with you when he clearly didn't want too. In what did he had gotten into ?

You couldn't believe what you were doing, you were on your way to have a date with your bestfriend and your boyfriend was going to listen to the two of you at the door. In what world were you living in ? You were stressed as ever and squeezing Sam's hand harder than you ever did. He was whispering you calming words while playing with your hair all the way to the super soldiers's appartment. When you got here he gave you a quick kiss that gave you butterflies and made your cheeks turn a deep shade of red.

"Hey, i'll be there okay, you're gonna do great, show these grandpas who is the boss." He chuckled and you joined in before knocking to the door, Sam hiding in the staircase quickly after you did so.

The door opened and you were met by the tall blonde you always knew and the weirdness was soon here. You wondered for a brief moment where Bucky was but the silence was soon your main priority. Steve took your coat in full silence and you couldn't imagine how much Sam was going to make fun of you after this fake date. Long minutes passed by and you only made small talk with Steve you guys ate pizzas in silence and everything that was going on was way too weird. How you ended up in this situation ? You had to do something, the silence filling the room was too much, it was overwhelming!

You took a deep breathe and putted down your drink and looked Steve in the eyes. "Steve, the silence is too much. I know you know i date Sam. I don't know how but i know you do so please. Can we just stop that and have a real conversation ? The date, the pranks and all it's all just too strange to me." You chuckled and he let out a loud sigh of satisfaction while a smile took place on his features.

"Oh my god! Thank you, it was Bucky's idea and it felt terrible doing that to you." He rubbed your back while giving you a gentle smirk.

"It felt terrible for me too, i mean for Sam, i've never felt so much love for someone and i was scared of everything that could've happened if i told you and Bucky and... i love him. I couldn't ever do that to him, he's my whole world." You returned his smile and you heard a door opening. You turned your gaze towards the sound and saw Sam standing in the entrance with the biggest grin on his face that you ever seen, you thought on the moment he could cry. He ran towards you and squeezed you harder than ever while you laughed like crazy, Steve joining your laugh fastly.

"I love you so much too! You don't know how good it feels to hear it from the person i love the most in the world and that is even here in my dreams." He winked at you before the two of you laughed. "I mean: I love you cutie." He took your chin between his thumb and index and kissed you like his life depended on it. You slowly closed your eyes and so did he. Butterflies errupted in both of your stomach and your lungs were out of air, you were reciprocally taking both of your breaths away. He putted his arms around your hips and you putted yours on his neck. You could feel him grin in the kiss and you guys kept kissing even when you heard another door opening.

"STEVE YOU MESSED UP OUR WHOLE PRANK !"

261 notes · View notes

milkybonya · 3 years

Text

i'm not the same boy you knew back then

Warnings: food mentions and some angst, party mentions

Pairing: Yedam x (gn)reader

Summary: where Yedam broke your heart in high school because he didn't know how to act but now he's desperately in love with you and wishes you still felt the same :")

word count: 5.8k

inspired by Walls by All Time Low (it has explicit language! be careful~~i've put a link for it at the veryyy end of this fic)

[a/n]: I GOT SO CARRIED AWAY FOR THE FLASHBACK PART OF THIS OML I'M SORRY FOR THE CHAOS AND MESS BUT I HOPE YOU ENJOY

Hey there it's good to see you again, It never felt right calling this "just friends". I'm happy, if you're happy, with yourself.

"Isn't that Yedam?" your friend, sat beside you, asks. They point to somewhere behind your head, and naturally, you turn around to follow their finger with your eyes.

As the doors to the lecture hall swing shut, a familiar boy begins to walk quickly down the steps. While grinning, he decides on a spot near the back, far away from your almost front-row seat. You let out the breath you didn't realize you were holding and face the front.

"Since when did he go to our university?" your friend asks, also facing the front now.

"I have no clue," you admit.

You'd purposely accepted an offer at a faraway university to avoid having to see Yedam ever again after high school. High school had become one of the worst times of your life thanks to him.

Yedam's pov

As soon as I enter the hall, I find [y/n] with my eyes immediately. They look at me with a mix of shock, disgust and hatred, but seeing them fills me with so much joy that I can't help but smile.

Deciding not to bother them, I pick a spot near the back and sit down. I wonder to myself if switching to [y/n]'s school was the right choice...

[y/n]'s pov

It was obvious you were too much for me. Oblivious, I was young

Back in high school, you had the fattest crush on one of the school's most popular kids, and you hated yourself for it. It wasn't like you could control your feelings... but your heart was set on him. His smile made you feel so warm and you felt happy despite him not having the slightest clue who you were. You always watched him from afar, peering at him as he walked into the classroom while waving at all of his friends before taking a seat at the back.

By some chance, you got paired with him for an assignment. You thought he would be disappointed, since he had never spoken to you, but contrary to his somewhat intimidating aura as a result of him being a popular kid, he smiled warmly at you as you introduced yourself.

"I know you're [y/n]," he said quietly, looking down at the assignment instructions in front of him.

"How do you know?" you asked him.

He looked up and leaned in closer to you to whisper into your ear, only after being sure that no one was watching.

"It may not seem like it, but I do know my classmates."

When he moved back, he flashed you a grin before returning to the assignment instructions again. Your heartbeat was flooding your ears.

After meeting up several times to do the research and plan out the presentation together, you and Yedam somehow grew closer. You had always thought he was some sort of chic, cool guy, but he turned out to be super soft and sweet. The two of you laughed at each other's dumb jokes and procrastinated late into the night sometimes, only beginning your work when the café was about to close.

On one of those days, Yedam asked if you wanted to go to his place to finish the assignment.

"It's due in two weeks and we still have so much to do... plus we're so busy that we can only meet once a week," he explained, pouting slightly.

You agreed, feeling somewhat nervous and excited at the prospect of going to your crush's house for the first time.

His parents were home but asleep as it was late for them, so the two of you quietly went to his room.

In-between muffled giggles and late-night snacks, the two of you managed to get a lot of work done before you felt as though you'd hit your limit. After yawning and stretching, you told Yedam that it was time you went home.

"Do you live far from here?" he asked you.

You, in fact, did live quite far from his house, but you felt bad telling him this, so you lied and told him you lived close by.

He pouted and looked down.

"I was going to ask if you wanted to just sleep here... but I guess it makes sense for you to go home," he said, helping you pack up your things.

Yedam... wanted you to stay the night? How could you miss such an opportunity! Your crush! Wanted you to stay the night!!

Yedam noticed that you'd stopped moving, holding your pencil case in your hand as you thought about what to say.

"Is everything okay?" he asked you.

"Yeah... I actually... live kind of far," you mumbled, not wanting him to get mad at you for lying.

"You do? Then why did you say you live close by?" he asked, also taking his hands away from your backpack.

"I didn't want you to walk me home or anything," you explained. Yedam smiled at you, shaking his head.

"Don't worry about it now... do you have any clothes to change into?"

"Just my gym clothes... but they're dirty," you told him, shyly.

"Do you want to take something of mine to wear?" he asked you, already standing up to look through his closet without waiting for your answer.

You were going to say no, again, not wanting to bother him, but he had already pulled out some of his comfier clothes for you to wear.

After changing into them and walking back into his room, you avoided Yedam's eyes as he quietly lost his mind over how cute you looked.

"Um, so..." Yedam started, scratching the back of his neck.

"Would you be okay with sleeping in my bed? I'll go sleep in the livingroom-"

"No, no! I'll go sleep there-"

"No, I can't let a guest sleep on the couch!"

Both of you sighed, not being able to win against one another.

"Listen, it's either you sleep in my room and I go to the livingroom, or we both sleep in my bed," he said, pointing to his bed behind you.

You froze, trying to consider your options as your heartbeat grew louder.

"Well... I guess we're both sleeping here then," you said, in a tone that tried to sound confident but was a little shaky.

You plopped yourself face first into the bed to hide from your embarrassment, feeling the bed shift a few seconds later as Yedam joined you.

"Scooch over towards the wall. I'll sleep on this side so you won't fall off the bed at night," he said, pointing to the side of his bed that faced the rest of his room. You smiled at Yedam's kind gesture as you moved over.

He had turned off the light and it was dark now, and both of you lay side-by-side on your backs, staring up at the ceiling.

"Are you... asleep?" he asked you quietly a while later. You shook your head at first, but then realized he couldn't see you. So you said a quiet "no".

You felt Yedam shift as he turned to face you. You carefully turned your head towards him too, wondering what he was up to. It was hard to see in the dark, but he was just admiring your face. You looked away, feeling embarrassed, until you felt him shuffling closer to you.

It was a little nerve-wracking watching his figure tower over you in the dark. Blinking up at him, you parted your lips to ask him what he was doing, but he spoke first.

"Am I allowed to... kiss you?" he asked, quietly looking down at you.

Yedam... wants to ???? Your crush wanted-

You found yourself nodding before your thoughts could entirely be processed, and watched as Yedam lowered himself onto you with a small smile. His heart soared as he watched your reaction -- your eyes were squeezed shut so tightly out of nervousness.

Before his soft lips met yours, he found your hand under the blankets and held it in an attempt to ease you of your nervousness. He didn't know that it only made your stomach feel the effects even more intensely.

Your lips touched for only a moment, but it felt like a whole eternity. When he pulled away, he moved off of you quickly and shuffled over to his side of the bed again.

"I'm sorry.. I'm so sorry," he mumbled, looking away from you. You were confused.

"What's wrong?" you asked him.

"I... I was supposed to tell you I like you first but then now you're right beside me--wait not that I like you... wait I mean I do, but I didn't want to tell you like this--"

Hearing his unsure confession was all the confidence you needed to pull him closer, accidentally tightening his hoodie strings as you pulled him in to carefully press your lips against his again. He completely melted into your hands, then, wrapping an arm around your back and holding you close.

That was probably one of the last good memories you have of him.

After that, Yedam turned into a different person the next morning, avoiding your eyes and missing any trace of a smile on his face as he pushed a plate of breakfast towards you.

"Let's not walk to school together, okay? I'll be leaving first," he told you, leaving you alone in his own house.

You had no clue what was going on and no appetite to eat. After waiting a few minutes, you walked to school after him. You had no idea how to even get to school from his house, so after getting lost and arriving late, you finally managed to make it.

When you tried to approach him in class, he would turn his back on you and ignore you. It made you feel so small that you stopped even trying.

It was really hard for you to show up to school after that, because of how terrible you felt, but you still tried your best. Your friends knew something was wrong and they did their best to help you, but it didn't stop you from thinking about Yedam and why he was acting so strangely.

Until he texted you one day in the middle of class, asking you to meet him in an empty classroom.

You told yourself you shouldn't pay him any attention, especially after he ghosted you like that, but you still followed after him, curious to see what excuse he would give you.

In the classroom, you couldn't see anyone, so you thought Yedam hadn't arrived yet until you heard him call out your name from behind a file cabinet. By the windows.

"Come here, [y/n]," he said, motioning for you to approach him. He was smiling at you again, just like he did on those days when you'd study with him in the café. You told yourself to just turn around and leave, but your feet guided you to him.

You frowned up at him.

"What the heck have you been doing?" you asked him, tears already threatening to leave your eyes.

"[y/n], I-I'm sorry... you know how it is for me, with my popular reputation. Some kids saw us at the café and posted pictures of us, saying that I was going around dating a loser-"

He was holding onto your hands while wearing a pitiful expression, but you coldly pushed him away after hearing him out.

"So you've been acting weird because I'm tainting your reputation? Yedam, we never even dated! You gave me some... half-assed confession and... kissed me in the middle of the night and then ghosted me," you told him, sternly.

"I know, I'm sorry... It's so pathetic but I really do like you... I'm just really bad at this, I know, but I'm telling you now I like you-"

"In an empty classroom. Behind a file cabinet."

"Please, [y/n]. Date me for real... I promise I won't let you down."

You and your kind, innocent heart believed his promise. You believed him because his eyes were sparkling and he was holding onto you so tightly.

Yedam told you that you had to date him in secret, and that was just one of many red flags. He explained that if his friends found out, he would be teased and you would be hurt by their words, too. Nonetheless, you agreed. At school, you never spoke to him. All you got were stolen glances, Yedam winking at you every time you turned around in your seat. Somehow, that was enough to make your heart flutter.

You could only see each other in each other's homes, since even the risk of being caught out on a date was too much for Yedam to handle. The two of you would intertwine hands while watching a movie. You'd rest your head on Yedam's shoulder, or sometimes he would rest his head in your lap and you would gently stroke his hair, watching as his eyes squeezed shut tightly while he indulged in the feeling of your love.

Sometimes the two of you would listen to music together, quietly sharing earphones while staring out the window.

Sometimes you would just talk for hours into the night.

Yedam's smile would never leave his face when he was with you.

Except for when he was at school.

And you could handle it. At least you thought you could, until the final straw.

For Yedam's birthday, a few of his friends had gathered in his home, celebrating. You were also invited, of course, after you begged Yedam to let you come. He had told his friends that he invited you as a gesture of thanks for working on the assignment with him... it broke your heart to hear this lie, but you shrugged it off, again.

Everyone was feeling excited as they all started a game of spin-the-bottle. You felt incredibly out of place and already angry, even more so upon seeing a girl getting all handsy with Yedam, stroking his thigh with her hand and playing with his hair. She was constantly glued to him, but you shrugged it off, again.

After the bottle's mouth faced Yedam, the girl beside him dared him to kiss someone. How childish, you thought to yourself. You watched as Yedam locked eyes with you and started to stand up, making his way towards you with a small smile, but the girl beside him stopped him.

"Where are you going, damie? Isn't it me who you should kiss?"

Yedam looked back at her and then at you.

"I-"

"C'mon, it's your birthday!" she said, dragging him back down.

That literally is not an excuse and makes no sense, you scoffed to yourself, rolling your eyes.

The next few moments were a blur, but Yedam ended up kissing her and you felt like a piece of paper being torn in two. We can't even look at each other in public, you thought to yourself. You fought back tears and got up to leave. No one seemed to mind or care about where you were going, since none of these people were your friends anyway. Even Yedam was preoccupied, his lips on the mouth of this other girl.

You couldn't just shrug things off anymore. This was it. Now, it was your turn to ghost Yedam.

You hadn't told him, but your family were planning to move to another city soon. You told them to plan the move for earlier so you could leave that dreaded place and leave Yedam. Ignoring all his calls and texts, you transferred out the next week, and that was that.

I'm gonna break down these walls, I built around myself. I wanna fall so in love, with you, and no one else, Could ever mean half as much, to me as you do now. Together we'll move on, just don't turn around, Let the walls break down.

You can't focus in lecture as everything that happened with Yedam flashes before your eyes. Just as you're starting to live a normal life without him, he has to show up and allow of the trauma to resurface.

As soon as your class ends, you quickly pack your bags. Your friend does the same, understanding exactly what is going on. But it seems like Yedam and his feet move a little faster.

Just as you're about to leave your row, you look up to find Yedam standing at the end of it, a small smile on his face.

You sigh and turn around, telling your friend to do the same so you can leave through the other side. But Yedam just follows behind you quietly. He doesn't say a word and just follows you as you and your friend as you leave the lecture hall to go to your next class.

Suddenly, you stop. Your friend and Yedam stop, too.

You turn around, your fist clenched into a tight ball.

"Yedam, can you please stop following me? Do you not have classes of your own or things to do? Please leave me alone," you told him, turning your back on him again and walking forward.

Your friend didn't follow you, though, but looked back and forth between you and Yedam. So lost in your thoughts, you walk to class on your own, not noticing that your friend isn't following you.

Yedam's pov

After they say those words and leave, I feel my heart breaking in two. Of course I know how much I've hurt [y/n], but their words make me realize that I'll never be able to completely understand. I almost start crying right there and then...

"Yedam, right?" their friend asks me. I look at them and nod, confused.

"Listen, [y/n] hates your guts. They're not going to talk to you and hear you out, so I'll do it instead. I know [y/n] might regret it if they don't hear you out, even if they don't want to."

I smile at [y/n]'s friend. That sounds exactly like [y/n]...

"You've probably heard a lot of awful things about me, and it's all true. But... [y/n] probably didn't tell you about those nights we spent in each other's rooms... the times that we did get to spend with each other alone.... sorry, what I'm trying to say is that I've always loved [y/n]. Not even 'like', but I've always loved them. And I don't think I'll be able to stop... I know I was such a terrible boyfriend back then. I don't think I can say I even was much of a boyfriend... but I've changed. I can promise that I've changed. I know it must be so arrogant of me to ask if they'll give me another chance but..."

I trail off, my brain shutting down as I struggle to find anymore words to express myself. [y/n]'s friend nods after I trail off.

"I see... well, I've heard about your promises. I heard they couldn't be trusted but if you've changed, then maybe that has changed, too. [y/n] has a really kind heart, but I won't let them date a jerk ever again. So unless we both know for sure that you're different now, we are not letting you date them."

With that, [y/n]'s friend walks away and leaves me there.

[y/n]'s pov

In class, you feel completely empty, unsure of how to feel. You only notice that your friend had not been beside you this entire time when they take a seat in the spot beside you, apologizing that they're late.

"Where were you?" you ask them, looking up as they sit down.

"I was talking to Yedam," your friend tells you, never one to lie.

Your face fills with disgust at the mention of his name.

"Why would you do that?" you whisper loudly, causing some heads in the lecture hall to turn your way. You mumble an apology before returning to your friend.

"I wanted to hear him out," they say, casually opening up their notes.

"What did he say?"

"So you are interested, huh?" they ask you, teasing.

"No, I'm not!"

"I know, calm down! He just said something along the lines of how he's always loved you and does now, too, and that he's changed--"

"That is the most garbage thing I've ever heard," you say, interrupting your friend with a scoff. They smile, shaking their head at you.

When you return to your dorm after all your classes, you find a small gift bag hanging on the door knob to your room. Curious, you pick it up and notice it has your name written on the side.

You could recognize that handwriting from a mile away.

As if it's the side of a hot pan, you drop it, watching its contents spill to the ground. A pack of your favourite snack falls out, along with a neatly handwritten note, a CD player and earphones.

I guess it wouldn't hurt to look, you tell yourself.

Picking everything up and walking into your room, you sit on your bed and read the note over.

[y/n]!! ah, it doesn't make sense for me to be cute or excited in this note, does it? >.< please forgive me.... i'm a little nervous... here is that snack that you've always loved... do you still love it now, too? and here is something that i wrote for you~it's on the CD. just press play and i'll let the song do the talking... i wrote this after you disappeared.

- yedam

This song better be god tier if he's coming to leave it at my door, you think to yourself.

As the song fills your ears, it seems to fill your empty heart too. You can tell it's full of Yedam's sincere feelings and thoughts... or he's just doing a good job of acting while singing. You can't seem to tell, but you still tear up a little.

You hear the door to your room swing open, as your friend, who also happens to be your roommate, barges in.

"What are you up to?" they ask, placing some things on their desk. They turn around immediately when they hear you sniffling.

"ARE YOU CRYING?" they shout, sitting beside you and wrapping their arms around you.

"This... song... Yedam..." you croak, just handing them the earphones.

When they listen to it, they also go quiet.

"It sounds really sincere..." your friend tells you, quietly.

"I'm not the only one who feels that way?" you ask your friend, looking at them.

"You know him better than I do, so you're probably right," they tell you, standing up.

"Why did this boy have to show up and make a mess of my life again," you groan, hiding your face in your hands.

"Well, I have just the solution! I know you're probably going to think about him and not get any work done anyway, so should we just go to a party?!" your friend tells you, jumping up and down.

"A party?" you wrinkle your nose in disgust.

"It'll help you stop thinking about him! Please, we never went to any parties last year!! Let's go, just this once!" they beg.

After thinking it over, you agree. What's the worst that could happen?

Wearing one of your favourite fits and feeling good, you walk alongside your friend, who already has a groove in their step as the two of you make your way to the house where the party is set to be held. It isn't that hard to find, since you're just following the bright lights and loud music in the distance. It's a wonder the people in that house aren't being arrested for causing such a ruckus...

Finally there, you step inside and try not to bump into any weird people. The music is so loud its deafening, and you shrivel up at the sound of it. Your friend wraps their arm around you, pulling you in close and guiding you to the snack/drink area so you can take what you need and go to a quieter place.

Your friend did beg you to come today, so they won't force you to dance or do any things you don't want to do...

Now equipped with everything you need, you make your way to the basement, where it's a lot quieter despite being so busy.

"How's this for a change?" your friend asks you, grooving along to the distant sound of the music from upstairs.

"It seems like you want to dance," you tell your friend.

They shake their head.

"I'll stay with you toniiiiiight!" they cheer, hugging you tightly. You laugh.

"It's fine, just go up! The crowd doesn't seem too scary or weird down here," you tell them as you watch two people play mario kart in front of a TV.

After asking you 1000 times if it's really okay, they leave you there with a drink in your hand. You continue watching the two people playing mario kart, secretly rooting for the boy in orange because his fit looks really nice, even if you're only looking from the back.

He ends up losing and you let out a "noooo!" loud enough for the two to hear. When they turn around, you discover that the boy in orange had been Yedam all along!

I take back rooting for him... he deserved to lose!

Widening your eyes at the sight of him, you quickly turn away and try to navigate your way towards another room. To your surprise, as soon as you walk in, Yedam is in there, holding the door open at the other end and panting.

"[y/n]," he calls out softly, smiling slightly. You can tell he's testing the waters and wondering how to react.

You try to walk out of the room, but the door behind you has been shut by some drunken idiot! He's pressed up against the frame and no matter how much you push, the door just won't open.

"[y/n], if you want to leave, it's okay. I don't want to bother you," Yedam tells you, stepping aside from the other door and motioning for you to walk through.

You sigh.

"No, it's fine. I guess we're here for a reason now, or something," you mumble, sliding down the wall until you're in a comfortable sitting position.

Yedam smiles, closing the door behind him.

"Still caught up in all that destiny stuff?" he asks you, joining you in sitting on the ground but also keeping his distance.

You scoff in response. How does this kid remember everything about me?

"So... what are you doing in my house?' he asks you.

"Your.... house?"

"Yeah, this is my house. You didn't know?" he asks you, looking bewildered.

You think about your friend. They must have brought you here while knowing it was Yedam's house...

"Um... nevermind that. How... have you been?" Yedam asks you, wringing his hands.

"Me? I've been doing great until now. How about you?" you spit out your words sarcastically, but Yedam doesn't seem to mind.

"I've been... well... I'm not sure. It would be cheesy for me to say I've been feeling lost without you, but that's kind of how it is," he tells you, chuckling nervously.

"Yeah, super cheesy. It also doesn't make sense, Yedam," you tell him, avoiding his eyes.

"I know it doesn't, but to me it does. I know our relationship was a mess, but those times that we spent together were... something else. Probably some of the best times of my life, honestly," he tells you.

"And why... are you telling me this?" you ask him, curious to see how he'll respond.

"Because I know I'm in the wrong and there's no excuse for my past childishness, but... I've missed you. And I still do. I know I was really caught up in my reputation back then and I didn't open myself up to you properly, but I want to do that now."

He runs his fingers through his hair, and something inside you turns. You didn't realize just how much you loved it when Yedam did that until now... he looks so pretty--

No. What are you thinking?!

"I haven't missed you though, Yedam," you say.

He smiles sadly.

"I know. And there's no reason for you to. But I'm just... asking for a second chance in case you think there's anything left."

You gulp and look up at the ceiling. You hadn't even considered the possibility of dating Yedam again, but talking with him now is different. He's less cautious and seems to be a lot more comfortable with you.

Someone knocks on the door behind Yedam and Yedam tells them to come in.

"Oh, am I interrupting?" the boy asks, slowly backing away.

"It's fine, I'm just talking to [y/n]," Yedam says with a smile, gesturing towards you. You greet the boy and his eyes light up.

"[y/n]?! The one you always tell me about? Gosh... it's so nice to meet you!" the boy says, shaking your hand and sitting down in front of you.

"You put up with a lot of Yedam's antics, I've heard," he says, laughing. Yedam laughs along, but you're still in shock.

Yedam had never told anyone about you... but now this random boy knows everything?

"It was more than antics. I was... really bad to [y/n]. I'm surprised they haven't left yet," Yedam admits, leaning back.

"I transferred to your old high school after you transferred out, and this boy was always sad. He didn't talk to anyone but me, only because the teacher asked him to show me around. He told me everything about you and eventually told the rest of his friends, too. You were his biggest and only heartbreak... I swear everyone at our school knows about you," the boy explains.

"What did you tell them?" you ask Yedam.

"He told us how he had been dating you in secret because he was afraid to ruin his popularity, but that he regrets it a lot. A lot of his friends left him after finding out you dated Yedam," the boy explains. Yedam nods along.

You're in shock. The boy who was so secretive and insecure exposed himself as a heartbreaker?

"Anyways, I'm sorry to be interrupting. I'll leave now!" the boy says, standing up and closing the door behind him.

"You... told everyone?" you ask Yedam. He nods.

"I feel like it was the only thing I could do for you. You deserved to be known as the one who held my heart," he says, holding his chest and laughing at his own cheesy words.

You find yourself laughing along and loosening up.

A moment of silence stretches between the two of you, and Yedam breaks it by standing up.

"Do you wanna play mario kart with me? You seemed to be having fun watching," Yedam asks you quietly.

You nod, also standing up.

The two of you play for about an hour, screaming and yelling at the TV just like you used to in your bedroom when you'd play games together.

"I won!" you declare in glee, turning to Yedam to do your signature high five with him. His hands meet yours, and you only realize what you're doing only after its already happened. You awkwardly move your hands away, facing the screen again.

"I'm sorry..." you mumble.

"No, I'm sorry! It's really okay, [y/n]... if you feel uncomfortable around me, you don't have to--"

"Your song touched me a lot, Yedam. And now I feel like... I want to try again. Just like this game," you say, pointing to the screen that has try again written in the corner.

"Are you sure?" he asks you, slowly.

You nod, deciding you've made up your mind. You've seen a lot of green flags already -- enough to decide that it's okay to move forward.

Yedam smiles and looks down at his lap. Then his head lifts up quickly, his eyes lighting up.

"I can take you to that café you always wanted to go! They have one in this city... and there's a museum next to it too! Do you want to go there? I.."

As he continues talking, you realize that all of the things he's saying he wants to do were things that you never did with Yedam, even after one year of dating him. It was always stay-at-home dates and ignore-each-other-when-we're-at-school. Somehow, you feel excited, wondering what things will be like.

"[y/n]! I've been looking everywhere for--oh, Yedam? Hi!" your friend greets you both.

"Did you have fun dancing?" you ask them. They nod, pointing to Yedam with their eyes.

You get up and whisper into your friend's ear.

"We have a lot to talk about, but I think..."

Your friend doesn't even wait for you to finish before they say, "well, I have to leave early now. Yedam, can you walk [y/n] home? Great, thanks!"

With that, they disappear and you shake your head at your friend's strange behaviour.

Yedam is all smiley while still sitting on the ground.

"Do I get to walk you home now?" he asks you, standing up.

"I wonder what would've happened if you walked me home that day, too..." you mumble, thinking about the day you slept over at Yedam's in the same bed as him.

"What, do you want to sleep over today, too?" he asks you.

You shake your head.

"I don't want things to turn out like that again."

"You mean, you don't want me to kiss you like I did then?" Yedam teases you, sending you a wink.

"You--shut up!" you yell, chasing after him with a pillow.

This boy literally broke my heart, you think to yourself. He is testing his limits...

After you both calm down, Yedam walks you home. It's a little quiet at first, until Yedam speaks.

"Can... I hold your hand?" he asks you.

"This soon?" you say, still grabbing his hand anyway. He looks down at your hand in his and smiles.

"Yeah... you don't know how long I've been wanting to do this for," he admits, swinging your arm up and down as you walk.

You shake your head at him.

"Let's run!" Yedam declares, racing forward with your hand in his. You trail behind him, the sound of laughter escaping your lips and ringing in Yedam's ears. It leaves a bright blush on his face as he thinks to himself about how much he's missed your laughter.

The two of you slow down, panting.

"I'm so tired," Yedam wheezes, laughing at how weird he sounds.

"Do you want me to kiss it better?" you tease him. He raises his eyebrows at the comment. Maybe it's the adrenaline from all the running or the feeling of the night air, but a courage surges through you as you snake your hand around the back of his head and pull him towards you, pressing his warm lips to yours.

You pull away shortly after, feeling breathless again. A blush dusts Yedam's cheeks as he stares at you with wide eyes.

Your own stomach is full of butterflies, but you ignore it and walk forward.

"Are you not coming?" you yell to the boy behind you. He laughs and chases after you.

[a/n]: i just want to say that i do not condone getting back together with a toxic ex so soon... i was just really excited while writing and sped up the plot >.< but don't ever get back with someone who has hurt you unless you are 100% sure! please take care of yourself!!

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casmybelovedass · 4 years

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The Destiel Folder: Season 7

[Season 4; Season 5; Season 6]

This season is mostly Dean being a depressed bi who can't cope with his crush's death.

This is, in my opinion, the season where Dean actually starts realizing he might for real think of Cas as something more.

Episode 1:

Cas is basically gone, both Bobby and Sam (almost) are ready to compel to whatever he says, but Dean still tries to get him to come back. "You can turn this around. Please!" (3:13) Denial

Dean has no idea how to deal with God!Castiel, but desperate to find him, and getting emotional "I don't even know what book to hit for this." "Then figure it out!" (5:47) Anger

As we have said many times already, angels don't have a sex, Castiel is not a man, and as he states, he is "utterly indifferent to sexual orientation" (8:03), and so is Chuck, God himself, who has admitted having had both girlfriends and boyfriends.

Dean turns off the news the moment he hears a woman describe Cas as "young and sexy", while doing that jaw clentch thing of his (10:14) ... huh... [and this doesn't really matter, but after this we immediately see Dean in a purple flannel. PURPLE! Go Bi!Dean]

"He's not a guy, he's a God [...] Cas is never coming back. He's lied to us, he's used us, he's cracked your gourd like it was nothing. No more talk. We've spent enough on him." (11:09) Dean trying to jump to the 5th stage of grief. Yeah, no baby that's not how it works

Dean tries so hard to convince himself that Cas's gone so he can kill him, but can't really. "Just kill him now!" and struggles hard to hold Castiel's glare. And as soon as Death offers a second option to killing him, Dean takes it. Bargening

"Dean, look, I know you think Cas is gone." "That's because he is." (31:22) Again with trying to jump to acceptance. Not doing great, Dean. In fact, "Yeah, you know how I'm gonna deal? I'm gonna stuff my pie hole, I'm gonna drink, and I'm gonna watch some asian cartoon porn. And act like the world's about to explode, because it is." (32:17) There it is. Depression.

[Remember this: Dean has no shame in watching porn in front of his brother. Wait a few seasons and see]

Just moments earlier, Dean was all "That's not Cas, Cas is dead" and shit, and now he goes "What? You need something else?" worried-husband-mode the moment Cas asks for help (34:50). Also#MARRIED (35:16)

Bobby: "Where's Sam? It's go time." Dean: *looks back at Cas worried* (37:12)

MUST HELP HUSBAND (38:06) look at Dean's eyes!!! They're like 'It's okay, it's okay. You've got this.' "I'm sorry, Dean." Cas chose these words to be his last, thinking he was going to die. LOOK AT DEAN (38:21) ICWAW this would MEAN SOMETHING ELSE

"CAS! [...] Is he breathing? ... Maybe angels don't need to breathe." says the one who was going around saying Cas was gone for good. "He's gone, Dean." "... damn it... *tears up* Cas, you child... Why didn't you listen to me." #MARRIED (39:15) Then he goes "CAS?!" as soon as he starts breathing again. ICWAW, we would SCREAM "LOVE" in this scene

"Imma find some way to redeem myself to you *looks at Dean straight in the eyes*" "*looks at Cas up and down*... Alright, well, one thing at the time, come on. Let's get you out of here." "I mean it, Dean." *eye love-making* "... Okay." (40:30) ICWAW, oooohhh, the meanings this scene would have...

Dean's face when the Leviathans tell him Cas is dead. Again. (41:18)

Episode 2:

Dean looking at the Leviathans occupying Cas' body. The HATE (1:44)

"... okay... so he's gone. *shakes while tearing up* [...] Dumb son of a bitch..." (5:14) Here we go again... I'm fine, shut up

Dean picks up, washes, folds and keeps Cas' coat (5:23) SWEET

"You just lost one of the best friends you've ever had." this hurts me. "... I'm fine, really." (12:11)

"You asked me how I was doing? Well, not good." (38:54)

Episode 5:

Dean progressively drinks more as his nightmares get worse and he misses Cas more and more. 3 times we see him drink, only in the first 12 minutes.

Sam can tell Dean feels like shit, and bet one of those reasons is Cas "Like it or not, the stuff you don't talk about, it doesn't just go away. It builds up." (39:33) Yeah, and not only problems or grief... even love

Episode 7:

Not a destiel moment, but Dean totally got hit on by the waiter. LOL (7:30)

And again. What is it with men in this town and Dean. "We're looking for a necklace." "Romantic. *looks at Dean*" (12:17). Is it an energy reading thing or something? Can they feel the bi energy?

"The Campbell brothers. [...] They weren't actually brothers. That was a cover for their, uhm... alternative life style." (22:40) Huh... I guess calling your lover "brother" runs in the family

"Ever since Cas... I'm having a hard time trusting anybody." (40:44) ouch

Episode 9:

Dean is drunk/high on Leviathan juice, and the first thing he thinks and blabbers about, is Cas (19:48) "I don't even care anymore." Oooohh ICWAW... the possibilities for this scene

Episode 12:

Dean totally checked out that man in uniform. FIGHT ME (16:27)

Episode 13:

"You're head's not in it, man. When Cas died, you were wobbly, but now-" "Now what!!" (39:35) as soon as Sam mentions Cas' death, Dean gets snappy

Episode 17:

Dean keeps getting snappy whenever Sam mentions Cas

"OH my God the love of my life is alive!" (13:02-13:06)

Dean's face when Daphne touches Cas (13:25), and when he calls her his wife (13:41)

AND HIS FUCKING FACE TRYING NOT TO TEAR UP BECAUSE CAS DOESN'T REMEMBER ANYTHING ABOUT HIM (14:16)

You mean to tell me that ICWAW this wouldn't be seen as a mini desperation moment from a man seeing his lover in this situation? Yeah, I don't think so

"What if you were some sort of... I don't know, bad guy." "I... I don't feel like a bad person." Dean's face is like "Damn right you aren't" (16:50)

"He betrayed you, this dude. He was your friend?" Dean looking at him... can't even answer the question (19:59)

Dean says Cas' betrayal is something he cant get over like everything else. And that he doesn't know why. "It doesn't matter why." "Of course it matters!" (20:25)

Dean gets visibly uneasy about Meg being so close to Cas (25:34) jealous boyfriend is jealous

Dean doesn't want Cas to remember, afraid he'll leave again (32:18)

"I've known you for years!" (32:34) poor baby. Also "You're an angel." "Uhm, I'm sorry? Is that a flirtation?" DEAN'S FACE (32:42)

Dean doesn't want Cas to be hurt by his own memories and past actions (33:00)

"You used to fight together. Bestest friends, actually." Yeah, look at that reaction. Let's see how he reacts to being called his boyfriend later on (33:09)

#MARRIED!!! I'll just leave this. No comment (33:41)

As Cas regains his memories, only 2 of the ones we see are not of Dean. And the only one we hear is the "I'm sorry, Dean." . That is what matters to Cas (and this looks like a slash video. Kudos to the editors) "I remember you... I remember everything." Yeah, no-homo save (34:35)

Not even an hour earlier, Dean was ranting about Cas betraying him, how he couldn't forget and forgive him, and now he is saying Cas did "the best you could at the time", but Cas actually feels guilt and doesn't want Dean to defend him, but Dean does anyway (36:53)

"We didn't part as friends, Dean." "*looks at Cas up and down*... So what?" "I deserved to die." the look on Dean's face (37:18)

Dean gives Cas his trench coat back. The trench coat he kept, folded and all the the truck, for weeks. And that's not even Baby. So he moved the coat, to always have it with him (37:26). I'm not crying, shut up

Also, here, have a deleted scene that breaks my heart

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Episode 20:

Let us all appreciate that one time Dean helped a lesbian flirt with a dude (24:27-25:03)

Episode 21:

Dean is devastated about Cas' mental state, that he did that to himself to save Sam. Look at his eyes in this scene (16:08). Also, Dean still resents Cas for the whole 'New God' crap, but it feels like the real reason is the fact that he left (19:18)

"Cas! Don't make me pull this car over!" "Are you angry? Why are you angry? *puppy eyes*" "... No I-I'm..." #MARRIED (27:28)

Cas says he won't fight anymore, but as soon as Dean's in trouble, he FLIPS

"The angels... they don't care... I think maybe they don't have the equipment to care." (31:49) Touchy much, Dean?, are you trying to convince yourself about that? It feels like he's making excuses to not let himself feel anything for Cas. "It seems like when they try, it just... breaks them apart." ... OK, fuck everything, ICWAW this would totally be seen as romantic angsty reference to Cas

Cas is so lost in his guilt for what he has caused. He looks like a baby, and it gets worse when it comes to Dean

"Why should we give you anything? After everything you have taken from us? The very touch of you curropts. When Castiel first laid a hand on you in Hell, he was lost!" (36:50) okay damn, ICWAW all of this would seem as if they were talking about a love relationship between the two and you can't tell me otherwise

'HURT HUSBAND-MUST PROTECT MODE' (37:17)

"The bone of a righteous mortal and the blood of a fallen angel" ... shut up, I'm dying over these clues (39:11)

"What are you gonna do, Cas?" Dean's eyes are begging him to stay. ICWAW, we would point that out without a shadow of a doubt (39:40)

Episode 23:

"Dude... on my car. He showed up naked... covered in bees!" ... come on, ICWAW this would be a HUGE deal (5:10)

"Go ask him. He was your boyfriend first." (8:51) LISTEN HERE. I study psychology, and one of the first things they teach you is that jokes are based on the truth. HOW MANY OF THESE JOKES WERE MADE?! HUH??!! (plus all the "Dick" jokes Sam made) Also Dean's reaction with the jaw clentch... just saying

Cas keeps stating he doesn't want to fight, but again, Dean's in trouble? FIGHT MODE

"*soft shoulder touch, puppy eyes, serves Dean a sandwich*" ... SOFT #MARRIED COUPLE (18:27)

"You got anything to say on the topic of dicks?" you'd like that, wouldn't you, Dean? (26:42)

Cas is afraid he will do something to cause Dean more trouble. Let's remember he chose what he believed were his last words to be "I'm sorry, Dean.", but as we know, Dean deals with feelings by showing anger... Cas gets upset and copes by playing twister... pathetic. "I can't help. [...] I destroyed everything and I will destroy everything again!" for a moment, Cas is lucid, and expresses his fear, but as soon as Dean gets angry with him, Cas gows back to hide in his world of crazy (26:47)

"I'm not good luck, Dean." "... You know what? [...] I'd rather have you. Cursed or not." Look at Cas' soft little smile as it grows. ICWAW, this would be read as another confession (32:38)

"I'll go with you." SOFT

SEE??! The MOMENT Dick threatens Dean, Cas goes full Angel of the Lord on his ass. MUST PROTECT HUSBAND (36:52) and the utter shock on Dean's face is priceless

And here comes PurGAYtory

[Season 8>>]

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pbandjesse · 5 years

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My heat is actually working pretty well tonight. I'm actually pretty comfortable right now. I am very tired and ready to go to sleep but it's been a nice day. I had a weird moment in the middle but we'll get to that.

Me and James slept okay last night. I had a really bad headache but it did go away after a little while. We listen to some videos and I slept pretty good. We woke up around 9 and I teased James because I told him he wasn't supposed to let me sleep in that late. But it was fine I needed to sleep.

We got up and I went to go get dressed. He caught me a bowl of cereal and he put the Dry Cereal in a bowl and the milk in a mug so that it wouldn't get soggy while I was doing my makeup. He's so cute.

We hung out for a while. Laid in bed. Watch TV and play it on our phones. And then around 11 we headed downtown go to lunch. Except we didn't know it was raining. We were going to bike and then we step outside and it was pouring so we went back inside so I can get an umbrella. And then we walked.

It was pretty disgusting out. And I was fairly uncomfortable because my shoes got soaked all the way through. I had a really nice time being with him. He bought us lunch. And it was nice being able to sit and talk with him. He's the best boyfriend. Always taking care of me.

We walked back up Saratoga and he waited for the bus with me. The rain was really bad and it was making that he'll fairly dangerous to drive on. We saw one lady hydroplane pretty bad. But it was all good. We said goodbye and he headed back to whatever he was doing to do today. He had today and tomorrow off so he gets to get some stuff done. And I headed to work.

My socks and shoes were soaking wet by the time I got the school. So I had paper towels stuffed in the bottoms of my shoes trying to smoke some of it up. It was fairly uncomfortable but we deal. I was a little stressed out because I had an auction for a lot of six Furbies. Including a Shelby and a clock for me that I really really wanted. I've had my own that clock for me for a bit now. And this is the first time I've seen one where it was a reasonable price. And the whole lot was actually a really really reasonable price. Until it wasn't. I mean / Furby it was a great price. But like all it wants. It got kind of high. And then I was not going to fit anymore. But then all of a sudden I got this Rush of adrenaline that I needed to win. And I was getting outbid every other minute. And then there's only 10 minutes left. And I made what I was calling my final bid. But then I lost. And so I bid again. And I got the last bit in in the last 4 seconds of this eBay auction. And I won. And I fell on the ground and I'm shaking. It was just the bizarre reaction and I did not like it. I don't like that I had this sort of addictive behavior rush in that moment. I was upset with myself. I spent too much money. And I've decided that that's it. I am not buying any more Furbys. I had one more option that I couldn't take back from. Which I did win. So I have gotten my last Furby. Unless somebody buys one for me. I am done purchasing them. That's it. I really really was upset with my reaction though. And I was shaking for a good hour afterwards. It wasn't cool. I'm excited that I won. And I'm going to start listing those ones once they come in and I can make sure they actually work. But yeah. It was weird.

Had a really next day with the kids. With a really small class. It went from 12 to 9 to 8. But we had a good time. They voted on a movie since we couldn't go outside with the rain. And even though it stopped raining we just watch the rest of our movie. We watch Lilo & Stitch. And we true. We had snacks. And it was nice. I got so color with the kids and just enjoy their company.

It wasn't a very interesting day. We had a good dinner. I set things up. We went over working on our cross-hatching. We had a critique at the end. We talked about difference between judgement and critique. And how with judgement you are signing a good or bad to something but was critique you're giving feedback. And that seemed to make them understand a little bit more. So I hung up all their pieces of window and we talked about each one. And it was a lot of fun hearing what they like about the pieces of what they felt was successful.

The kids got picked up really quickly and I was able to leave by 5:30. But I still didn't get on the bus until almost 6 which was annoying. Mostly cuz it was windy outside but there is a enclosure there so I was mostly protected. The best finally came and there was a very funny teenager on the bus who just had a bit for everything. And he was making me laugh. He's making a lot of the best laugh actually. And then I was at my stop. And I walk the half-mile home. Then it was a nice walk. The rain was done and it was just a little cold.

I got home and the last Furby connect that I bought came. I'm not even going to take pictures of her because I'm selling her as soon as possible. I bought her because she was a good deal and that was it. And I made some post on my Instagram about how I have Furbys coming up for sale soon. And there's a couple people already contacting me that are interested. I really wish I could get these Booms to move but there's just too many of them on the market honestly. We'll see what happens. Just got to keep trying.

I've had an okay night. I drew freckles on some Furbies. I played with sweetpea. Just harassing this animal. I had dinner. I organized two of my trunks. I'm trying to be able to collect all of my knickknacks into one trunk when we move. I'm becoming more and more stressed out about our move this summer because I just have so much stuff. And there should be a three month. Where all of my stuff is in storage. And that's just very stressful for me. It'll all be fine but I feel a little overwhelmed. James made me feel better and I know everything will be okay.

Now I'm just laying in bed struggling to find something to interesting to watch. Jess is coming this weekend and I'm really excited to hang out with her. I hope we just have a nice restful weekend with food and pottery and shopping and the zoo and it'll just be really nice. I do have a PD in the morning tomorrow that I'm looking forward to. A couple extra hours to make up for my Furby spending. And I'm just hoping to clean my apartment pretty thoroughly before she gets here at 6. I think it'll be a really nice day.

I just hope that the rain is over. Good night everybody. Be safe.

#ootd #work #art #in progress #kids drawnigs #thursday

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