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all my girl crushes have just been “girl with bob” “girl who draws” “aggressively feminist girl” “intimidating girl im trying to gather courage to speak to”

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Okay, here we go.   I know there are lot of people complaining that almost all the genderfluid and nonbinary fictional characters aren’t human.  And I do understand and agree that there should be more human genderfluid and nonbinary characters.

However I think there’s a certain fantasy / wish fulfilment with at least some non-human genderfluid and nonbinary characters.  Let me use Marvel’s Loki and DC’s Desire of the Endless (created by Neil Gaiman) as examples.   

The wish fulfilment comes from the power these characters possess.  These characters in particular (Loki and Desire) are physically beautiful and can shapeshift at will.  Imagine how much better a lot of people would feel (even myself at times) if we could just remove certain features at will, gain or lose features at will.  To become male or female at will.  To change gender as easily as one changes clothes. 

I look at Loki in man-form shifting into Loki’s female form and I think how envious I am because there are times I wish I didn’t have my breasts (I kind of hate them).  Many times since teenagehood I have wished I was more androgynous. I still occasionally dream of being male.  There are times I want to be a man, at least for a little while.   And then there are other times when I am proud of my femininity and don’t think I’d really want a penis.   And I know that’s okay.

Desire of The Endless is extremely powerful.  They are the living embodiment of all desires and they are a powerful entity and like Loki they can be either, or both, or neither at will.   They can even procreate as a father or mother at will (Loki can too).   They have freedoms human characters don’t have.

These are not monsters.  These are immortal Gods.   These are deities.  Powerful and beautiful.  They aren’t subhuman.  They are super-human, above-human.  So yeah, I see no problem with the physical wish fulfilment.  It’s like when gay horror writer, Clive Barker, talks about why he finds his creatures in Cabal (Night Breed) beautiful, he envies their power.      

   Again, I do get and understand wanting more human representation with genderfluid and non-binary characters but at the same time I don’t think characters like Loki or Desire are intended to dehumanze gender-nonconforming inclinations.   They are to empower.  Who doesn’t want to be a God?

Loki was the hero in Loki: Agent of Asgard.  And Desire saved the universe in Sandman: Overture.   

Yes, there should be more human representation but sometimes the non-human representation isn’t there to dehumanize.  It’s to extra-humanize, to rise above humanity to something better, something with powers many of us long for.

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Shoutout to trans people who weren’t always trans.

And I don’t mean it in the “I only found out I was trans later” way, where you just didn’t know it in the past.

I mean the trans people who were actually their agab before without that hiding somethign deeper. Who became trans later and who might have not been if their life had been different. Who possibly made a choice to be trans, instead of being born like that.

You’re still trans. Even if there might be some minor discrepancies in terms of experiences with trans people who feel different you still ultimately have the social experience of being trans like the rest of us. You’re not reinforcing transphobic attitudes through your existence, you’re not appropriating anything or deceiving yourself. If it makes you happy, the reasons for being trans don’t matter. 

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Wanna get a binder but I’m not sure how to go about it. I could

1. Tell my dad I want to get a binder and let him know it has to do with me being genderfluid

2. Tell my dad I want to get a binder but not tell him it has to do with me being genderfluid

3. Tell my mom I want to get a binder and let her know it has to do with me being genderfluid

4. Tell my mom I want to get a binder but not tell her it has to do with me being genderfluid

My mom hasn’t said anything to me about my coming out other than the one text. My dad told me he will always be there for me even if we disagree on things (didn’t not directly say he doesn’t believe I’m genderfluid). But today when I mentioned a genderfluid character in my book he said literally nothing. So not exactly a good sign.

If they say I can’t get one I plan to ask my supportive aunt to discreetly buy me one and I’ll pay her back. Or I could just not ask my parents at all and either go ahead and ask my aunt to get me one or buy one and tell them not to open any packages for me because Christmas

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Phil Lester’s BBC Podcast [ENGLISH Subtitles]

Phil presents his episode of ‘In This Place: Gaychester’ about the Albert Kennedy Trust.

**Community captions are on, so feel free to add translate subtitles to any language.**

There are 6 episodes in this series, each with a different presenter. Below are links to the other episodes:

1) “Ballad of Harry Stokes” - Presented by Annie Wallace

2) “Manchester’s First Drag Ball” - Presented by Cheddar Gorgeous

3) “Alan Turning’s Life in Manchester” - Presented by Rob Rinder

4) “Manchester and Section 28” - Presented by Dolly Rose-Campbell

5) “30 Years of The Albert Kennedy Trust” - Presented by Phil Lester

6) “History of Canal Street” - Presented by Nick Grimshaw

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