#Loki slow burn

[those-late-night-feels]

Right Place, Right Time

Part 1

Summary: When Loki saves your daughter, the bond you start to form takes you both by surprise.

Warnings: Slow burn, near death experience.

A/N: Readers, your feedback is always appreciated. As a mother, I wanted to play around with how a relationship could develop in that scenario. More to come.

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

The first time your heart skipped a beat because of him, there was no warning. In fact, your heart had been pounding incessantly and the jolt you felt was like a heart attack. Distracted, running along the sidewalk chasing after a toddler who thought running away from mommy was a new game, even though you'd sat her down multiple times to explain that it was not a fun game for mommy. One minute you watched as she ran out of the playground, the next you had face planted, tripping over the broken sidewalk as she made her way closer and closer to the busy intersection.

"Someone help!" you yelled, pointing to your little girl. Startled, two men on the corner turned toward your cry, and then to the toddler next to them who had just stepped off the curb. It felt like your soul left your body as you watched the bus barrel down the road in slow motion, one man running in front of the child to stop the bus, the other clutching the little one just in time and bringing her over to you.

Sobbing and shaking, your eyes were only on her, your pride and joy, wiping your cheeks from tears you didn't know escaped.

"Sara, you gave mommy such a scare," you shakily said in between sniffs, arms out, taking your little girl from the man holding her as the other man approached. Your mind was clouded and when you turned to the blonde man to thank them both incessantly, you did a double take. “You’re…you’re…”

“Thor, and this is my brother Loki," he said with a smile, placing his hand on the other man's shoulder. "And we’re happy to have been of assistance. You certainly have your hands full.”

Adjusting the squirmy toddler in your arms, you directed your eyes up to the taller man. He prepared himself for a scream, for an angry shove, for any sort of reaction at all. But you took him by surprise, giving a nervous huff and grabbing his hand.

“It's nice to meet you both. And thank you.” Your eyebrows crinkled in earnestness as he nodded. It felt incredibly silly thinking how gorgeous he was after what you just went through, with other-worldly eyes and deep cheekbones, and his brother interrupted your thoughts. “We do need to get back, will you be ok?” You turned to Thor, shaking your head at your own silliness. Of course, they probably had incredibly important things to attend to.

“Oh yes, we'll be fine. Thank you, again.” Loki slipped his hand from yours, but not before squeezing it in return and giving you the briefest of an understanding look.

They disappeared, and you thought that would be the last time you ever saw the avenger and his alluring brother.

The second time he made your heart flutter, it had been months later and you hadn't thought about him for weeks. The fantasy of the mysterious god was exciting for a time, but the reality of a full-time job and single motherhood made you forget those frivolous thoughts. Weaving through the congested New York crowds, you'd almost passed by him without realizing it, but something in the back of your mind told you to look back.

"Loki?" He turned mid-stride, not placing you immediately, but when the recognition hit, it was evident on his face. "You're back."

He smiled warmly as you adjusted your shoulder bag. "I, uh, didn't get a chance to thank you properly for saving my daughter. Could I, um, buy you a coffee?"

He was quiet while studying your face. Did you have an ulterior motive? He didn't think so. And just when you thought he might not have heard you, he replied, "Yes, I'd like that."

The little cafe around the corner had French bistro chairs and softly played Pink Martini on repeat. Sitting at a table in the corner by the window, a latte for you and a black tea for him, you talked incessantly about yourself, your daughter, your job, while he sat there quietly listening, sipping his tea. A little embarrassed that you had just rambled on and on like a nervous teenager, you drew circles on the rim of your coffee cup. "You don't talk much, do you?"

He chuckled to himself, your words amusing him. "I like listening to you."

Your face turned pink as you looked at your hands, the remnants of your latte sitting at the bottom. "Are you staying here for a while? On earth?"

"For a while, yes."

Nodding, you quietly said, "Good."

He tilted his head upon hearing you. "You might be the only Midgardian to think that."

You shrugged your shoulders in response, not knowing what to say. You weren't dumb, you knew exactly who he was, what he had done, had watched in horror the aftermath of the destruction on TV. The glares, the whispers of others, they weren't subtle. But you also knew he was trying to make amends for his mistakes.

"It's getting late. I need to pick up Sara from daycare."

Adjusting your bag, the two of you walked toward the door. He held it open for you to pass by, taking in his intoxicatingly warm scent. Pausing on the busy sidewalk, you turned toward him. "Um, I know this is kind of silly, but Sara's birthday is next weekend and we're celebrating at that park. If…if you aren't busy…"

His smile was kind and genuine. Were you really asking Loki, god of mischief, to your child's birthday party? But he said thank you, and as you said goodbye you felt his fingertips brush against yours.

The third time your heart fluttered, you hadn't actually expected him to show up to your little girl's birthday party, but a small part of you had hoped, just maybe. Sara was full of smiles, playing on the jungle gym with neighbor kids and snacking on strawberries and pretzel sticks. The squeals of delight when she unwrapped a present and pulled out a mermaid Barbie warmed your heart, exactly what she had wanted. It was thrilling as a mother to hear those happy sounds, see her smiling face on her day and it was a good distraction from wondering if a certain someone would show up. But as you sang "Happy Birthday" and helped her blow out the few candles, the thought gnawing at the back of your mind was that he wasn't going to show. And while you felt the disappointment in the pit of your stomach, it was the nagging thought you had completely embarrassed yourself that truly bothered you. Why in the world had you invited Loki, an ancient god of the universe, the brother of Thor, to your daughter's birthday party? You groaned at the idiocy of it, imagining how he must have been so amused by you, a simple mortal in awe of the Asgardian god. Sighing, you cut slices of birthday cake, handing them out to guests. Holding a forkful of the frosted vanilla cake, you paused mid-bite as clouds rolled in and turned dark. The weather app hadn't mentioned a possible storm. First, there was rumbling thunder, and then the clouds opened up and hundreds of aliens flew out from the opening in the sky.

"Sara…" you called out in warning, picking her up from the picnic table and walking backwards from the activity in front of you. Lasers began to emit from them and your heart thumped in your chest. We need to get out of here. We need to hide.

You turned to run towards the entrance of the park, Sara covering her ears and starting to cry, when you heard your name. Looking up, you saw Loki dressed in a full green and black leather ensemble, running up to you. "What…what's going on?"

"Come with me," he said and grabbed your hand. Clutching on to Sara, the two of you weaved through panicked crowds. Don't let go of his hand!

He dodged falling objects, swerved through oncoming traffic, all while keeping you close. Your legs burned, your feet started to rub raw, but you kept with his pace.

“Only a little farther, darling,” he yelled over his shoulder. “You’re doing great.”

You couldn’t get a word in to reply, your lungs burned and your throat felt like sandpaper, but soon the massive Avengers Tower came into view among the smoke and debris. He took you through the lobby, into a back room, and you tried to catch your breath again while adjusting Sara in your arms. He spoke to a few security guards and then turned to you, never dropping your hand. “Alright, you’ll be safe here. They will take you to a room below and get you settled.”

You looked at him quizzically. “You’re not coming?”

He leaned over to look you in the eye, placing a hand on your shoulder. “Not until this invasion is stopped. I'll come check on you both soon."

The feeling of being left alone somewhere unknown was unsettling, but there was a reason Loki took you here, and that was reassuring. The security guards took you down an elevator to what you could only assume was a safety bunker. Sturdy walls, entertainment units, a full kitchen, and multiple bedrooms, but no windows. You chose a room, laying Sara down on the large mattress as she started to yawn once safely inside.

“Well bug, it's just you and me again.” You rubbed her head and sang soothing songs as she laid down to nap, heart palpitating with every loud blast outside, and soon laid down next to her, the adrenaline of the afternoon wearing off.

When you opened your eyes again, it wasn't from another resounding blast, but to gentle strokes of your hair. Eyelids fluttered as you took in your surroundings, then all at once as he came into focus in front of you, his touch delicate. Opening your mouth, he set a finger to his lips and motioned to your little girl, curled in a ball. He draped a blanket over her, then pulled you up to leave the room and allow her to nap in peace.

"You're hurt," you said when he quietly shut the door and reached up to brush your thumb under a cut on his cheek. "Do you need to have that looked at?"

A smile played on his lips as you looked at the wounds on his face. "I'll heal. Are you hungry?"

You nodded as he reached up to clasp your hand and his fingers latched on yours, pulling you into the kitchen. "Let's see what we can find."

Twenty minutes later, the two of you were eating from a big bowl of spaghetti. He told you about what had happened, how he learned about the coming invasion from Thor, and had instantly thought of you and Sara at that park.

"You've saved Sara twice now. It's like you're her guardian angel."

He smiled to himself, twirling the spaghetti with his fork. "You might be the only creature in the universe to compare me to an angelic being, y/n."

He focused more on the bowl of pasta than you. "I don't really care what people think," you said quietly, resting your hand on his.

He lifted his eyes to yours as you drew circles on his hand with your thumb. Your breath slowed and his jaw relaxed, but you broke contact first, stretching with a sigh. "I should probably get going, wake Sara up and get out of your guy's hair."

His mouth went slack jawed as he hastily got up from the chair. "I wouldn't advise that. You must stay." You paused as he rushed his words. "At least until tomorrow," he said quickly. "They could come back…and I'd be beside myself if I didn't know Sara was safe."

"Loki…thank you, but–" He cut you short, coming up to you and resting a hand on your arm.

"Please," he said softly, looking from one eye to the other. "Just so I know that you…and she…are safe."

His eyes were pleading and you swallowed the lump in your throat, pulse beating faster from his touch.

"I…" you stammered, words lost on you while drowning in his eyes.

"Mama!" You pulled your eyes away, his touch receding as you picked up the little girl running to your arms.

"Hey baby girl," you kissed her cheek and she snuggled into your embrace. "You have a good nap?"

She gave an exaggerated nod, looking around the bunker. "We go home now?"

You could almost swear you heard Loki hold his breath. Looking from her to him, you shook your head. "We're going to stay here tonight, like when we do sleepovers at Grandma's house. Does that sound like fun?"

Again, she gave an exaggerated nod, making curls in your hair with her fingers. "Where's mermaid girl?"

Your lips pressed into a line, remembering the Barbie that was left on the picnic table, along with all of her other birthday presents. "We'll have to get her later, sweet pea."

Sara stuck out her bottom lip. "Did I hear it was someone's birthday today?"

Sara turned her head quickly to Loki, an open mouth smile on her face.

"Watch," he whispered, and placed his hand out in front of her. When he opened his palm, tiny fireworks played among his fingertips. Sara giggled joyfully and clapped her hands. "Now close your eyes–you, too."

He looked at you expectantly, and you gave him a what-are-you-up-to look, but did as you were told. A few seconds passed, and then he said, "Alright, open them."

You heard the squeal of delight before you could open your eyes. "Mermaid girl!"

Before her was the blue and pink plastic mermaid, and she hugged it tightly, wiggling to crawl out of your arms and play with the doll.

"How did you even…" you whispered, but he only gave a smug little grin and watched the little girl explore the room with her new friend. He kept you company that afternoon, him a little more open as he told you stories of growing up on Asgard, the tricks he'd play on Thor, and of course, stories of his mother. Lounging on the couch with your legs tucked under you, you imagined him as the little prince, and how he grew into the man sitting in front of you, and the fluttering in your heart moved down lower to your core.

This new feeling was startling. Yes, you had found him wildly attractive, but it was like staring at a piece of priceless art. It was meant to be displayed in a museum to be marveled by all, not to hang in your living room next to a pile of laundry. You were lost in your own head as he talked, and then there was silence when he cocked his head. "Did I lose you?"

Eyes blinked rapidly as you returned to the present. "Why us?"

"Hmmm?"

"During the invasion today, why did you come back for us? You barely know me…"

He leaned forward and reached for your hand. "Y/n, you don't give yourself enough credit. You've shown me more kindness in the little amount of time I've known you than most of these Midgardians have since I've been here. If anyone deserves saving, it's you."

Your stomach tumbled, your eyes turned down, watching as his palm found yours, fingers slowly weaving together. He saw you and it was all so overwhelming. Feelings like these hadn't been present since Sara's father, and those had long since flown away. No one had truly occupied your mind but Sara for years… Sara…

You looked around the large room to find her playing under a table with her doll and a few items she had gathered while exploring the room. "It's getting late. I should give her a bath and put her to bed."

"Would you like me to go?"

Nibbling your lip, you shook your head, and as you turned to find your daughter, Loki smiled.

Sara was always an easy one to put to bed, like she was just as eager to go to sleep when you said it was time. She laid in bed after playing in the tub and listened as you made up a story about a young boy who lived in a far away land and was different from everyone else, giggling when you told about the tricks he would play on others, but really all he wanted was to be loved.

"I like it here," she whispered and you gave her little kisses on her nose and forehead and eyes, her breathing soon growing heavy with time.

Fifteen minutes later, you quietly shut her door, finding Loki lounging with a book in his hand. The massive hardcover book was propped open on his chest and you tilted your head to read the title.

"The whole world is divided for me into two parts: one is she, and there is all happiness, hope, light; the other is where she is not, and there is dejection and darkness…"

He paused, considered your words. "You are full of surprises. You know your Tolstoy."

You smiled, maybe a little proud that you could impress him. "I took some classes on Russian literature in college."

It turned your conversation into a new direction, on books and favorite authors. He pulled a book out of thin air, holding it out to you. A worn green cover and brilliant gold font, you took it, slowly cracking open the cover in your lap. "I think you'll enjoy this one."

You drew your finger over the beautiful script, the delicate pages.

The warmth of his hand met your cheek, drawing your eyes up to his. "Y/n," he paused, his body leaning in, your heart beating so hard you were sure he could hear it. "Can I kiss you?"

Lips parted, the answer on the tip of your tongue, and then the clobbering of footsteps down the hall, the bellowing of Loki's name, his hand sliding away from your face, the moment gone.

"Loki, there's been another invasion," his brother announced when he found the two of you. "We're needed in London."

Loki sighed, looking from his brother to you. "Please stay here tonight. I'll be back as soon as I can."

He left with a kiss to your hand and more questions swirling in your mind.

Part 2

Buy me a coffee

#loki fanfic #loki x reader #loki fluff #loki x y/n #loki #loki smut #avengers #loki (marvel) #loki laufeyson #loki of asgard #Loki slow burn #slow burn #loki x you #loki roleplay #loki rp #loki reader insert #loki series #loki oneshot #loki mcu #loki masterlist #loki marvel #fic: loki laufeyson #loki fic #loki fandom #fic: loki #mcu fic #marvel fic #loki odinson #loki fiction

[use-your-telescope]

When Everything's Made to be Broken - Chapter 19: Would You Count on Me?

Summary: When Theo’s down and out, Loki recruits the other Avengers to help lift her back up. 

Contents: Similar to the last chapter, descriptions of vomiting in relation to describing a migraine. Canon typical injury descriptions. Some very (very) brief mentions of IV/needles? Soft moments and fluff.

Word Count: 6,296

Read on AO3 | When Everything's Made to be Broken Masterlist

Song: Easy Money - Lights

I expect you on your worst behavior I am a giver but you know I'm not a taker, yeah When you're riding in the night, I'll be shotgun, yeah Said you're looking for a friend, well you got one, yeah Until the last dollar Until the last dollar

Morning came far too quickly.

Even a pleasant, dreamless sleep for a few hours could not replenish Loki’s energy in the same way a full night of rest could. Yet, waking up with Theo still tangled up around him eased a surprising amount of his irascibility at his persistent insomnia.

In the soft morning light filtering in through the bedroom window, Loki took the opportunity to reassess Theo’s condition. 

Though it seemed that a night spent next to Loki with his reduced temperature helped, Theo still felt far too warm. Remnants of tear tracks lingered on fever-flushed cheeks, while her eyelids remained red and swollen with irritation. An indigo bruise, likely from the prior evening’s combat, had appeared overnight along the hollow of her cheek. It was relatively small - a bit larger than a knuckle, by Loki’s estimate - but the stark contrast of the bruise versus Theo’s gaunt complexion gave the impression that it was quite the blow. 

All in all, Theo looked as if she could sleep for a year and it still would not be enough to feel rejuvenated. 

Theo obviously needed a healer, yet Loki’s previous attempts to convince her had not proved fruitful; whether stubborn pride or an impaired mind from the illness caused such profound refusal, Loki was not sure. 

Maximoff might have more success; she possessed a keen sense for how to approach individuals in a rather vulnerable state. 

Enlisting Maximoff’s help, however, meant explaining why Theo was in Loki’s bedchamber and not her own. And though Loki trusted that Maximoff would not focus on the oddity of the circumstances, he did not trust that anyone else who caught wind of the situation would be so kind.

Briefly, the idea of returning Theo to her quarters before seeking Maximoff’s assistance came to mind. After considering the logistics, Loki quickly dismissed the idea; if he brought her back without waking her, she might become distressed upon waking in the location she specifically requested to avoid for the night. To gain Theo’s consent to return to her quarters, Loki would need to wake her, and that raised the possibility of an awkward conversation about why they laid with each other. Not to mention the possibility she would reject the proposal, which would mean Loki had roused her for nothing.

Upon concluding that Maximoff’s assistance would be necessary, Loki carefully untangled himself from Theo and slipped from the bed. After dressing for the day, he fixed the bedcovers on his side of the bed to give the impression Theo slept alone, then retrieved a pillow to place on the sofa in his great room. 

In his great room, he set the pillow at one end of the sofa, then laid atop it and conjured a blanket to cover himself with, only to uncover himself and leave the items there to imply he spent the night on the sofa. Even if Theo was no longer courting anyone, Loki did not want to risk the impression of any inappropriate or questionable behavior. His decision to spend the night with her would remain between the two of them.

With the stage set, Loki looked in on Theo one final time to ensure she hadn’t woken.  Seeing that she hadn’t stirred, Loki set off in search of Maximoff.

Knowing that Maximoff regularly took her breakfast around the present moment, that was Loki’s first destination - sure enough, Maximoff sat at the breakfast bar in her pajamas, halfway through a bowl of cereal as she looked over the morning paper. Her mobile sat in front of her as if she were expecting some sort of communication, but the screen remained dark.

Unfortunately, Maximoff was far from alone: Romanoff, Barnes, and Wilson also sat at the breakfast bar, all at varying points of their morning meals and routines. Romanoff and Wilson had dressed for the day, while Barnes sported a threadbare that he only wore for sleeping and had yet to tame his sleep-disheveled hair.

At the sight of Loki, Barnes managed a half-grunt of acknowledgement, while Wilson offered a wave and a short greeting. Romanoff, ever the vigilant assassin, studied him with a dissecting gaze that made Loki suspect she already knew Loki was not there for breakfast.

Maximoff, hearing the others, glanced up from the paper and spotted Loki. “Morning Lo—“

“Maximoff, I require your assistance.” Loki skipped the pleasantries, having little interest in anything social at the moment. 

Doing so, however, piqued everyone’s curiosity. Wilson sat up a bit taller in his seat. “Oh boy—“

“—What’s up?” Maximoff set the paper aside, giving Loki her full attention. Beside her, Romanoff glared at Wilson.

“It’s Theo.”

The soldiers shot each other an unreadable glance, Romanoff returned to studying Loki with her perpetually neutral, yet mildly suspicious gaze.

“What about Theo - is she alright?” Maximoff frowned, glancing down at her mobile and then returning her attention to Loki. “I texted her last night but she never got back to me.”

“She’s unwell, yet twice now she has refused my suggestions to see a healer.” Loki ran one hair through his hair, realizing as his fingers caught on a knot that he forgot to address his own tangled tresses. “I’m hoping you might talk some sense into her.”

“Care to elaborate?” Romanoff shot Loki an expectant glance, one meticulously groomed brow arching to emphasize her question.

“Vomiting, fever, chills, fatigue,” Loki rattled off the list of symptoms he observed, careful to keep a neutral tone. “I suspect some aches and pains, though she did not admit to it.”

“Why’d she tell you that she’s sick, but not Wanda?” Barnes, notably more awake than when Loki first arrived, narrowed his eyes at Loki. “She tells Wanda everything.”

“She didn’t tell me,” Loki flatly answered, mirroring Barnes’s stare. “I had been on my way to the sitting room when I heard a commotion in her quarters and investigated; the noise was Theo stumbling to her washroom to be ill - I found her hunched over her toilet.”

Maximoff hummed, sounding appropriately concerned. “When was this?”

“Last night.” 

“And you didn’t tell me then?” Maximoff practically leapt  to her feet, abandoning her breakfast on the countertop as she rounded the breakfast bar and broke into a stride.

“Wait—” Loki called to Maximoff, who had somehow nearly reached the corridor, “— Where are you going—“ 

“To check on her,” Maximoff replied over her shoulder, “obviously.”

“She is not in her quarters,” Loki warned, to which the Scarlet Witch stopped in her tracks and turned back to the him.

“If she isn’t there,” Romanoff asked, adopting a skeptical expression, “where is she?”

Loki sighed; he hadn’t wanted to explain this in front of a crowd, but it did not seem like he had much choice. He steeled himself for the sarcastic comments that his peers would undoubtedly make in response before he answered. “In mine.”

“Whoa whoa whoa, back up—“ Barnes interjected, “— why is she in your bed?”

“Because it was the only way I could convince her not to spend the night on her bathroom floor.” Loki dryly replied.

“You couldn’t convince her to go back to her own bed?” Wilson questioned, his suspicion clear in both tone and facial expression. “Aren’t you supposed to be a silver tongue or some shit?”

“The charm of a silver tongue requires that both parties are of sound mind—“ Loki rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest. “— I suspect she was delirious with fever.”

“Enough, we’re going—“ Maximoff turned, starting down the hall without bothering to check whether or not Loki followed. 

A few rapid strides brought Loki alongside Maximoff, whose hurried pace was no match for Loki’s long legs. 

Mutters of “this I’ve gotta see,” along with scraping chair legs, came from behind as Barnes, Wilson, and Romanoff rose to their feet, catching up to the pair of sorcerers with a light jog.

Begrudgingly, Loki allowed everyone into his quarters. An audience as Maximoff tried to talk sense into Theo seemed a bit inappropriate, but Loki doubted that he could effectively make the case without additional teasing, and he lacked the patience for such asinine behavior. 

After allowing the others to step into the bedchamber, Loki followed and closed the door behind him. Audible, gasps and worried murmurs filled the air as the others saw Theo’s state for themselves.

In the time Loki had been away, Theo rolled over to the side of the bed with the waste bin, kicking some of the blankets off of herself and tangling others around her legs in the process. A sheen of sweat had taken up residence upon her brow, glittering in the morning sun. In the new position, the bruise upon her cheek looked as if a spotlight had been shone upon it. She appeared no less ill than before, and the evidence of the prior night’s tears remained fully on display. 

Were it not for the faintly visible rise and fall of her chest, it would have been easy to assume she was deceased.

“Damn,” Barnes’ prior amusement faded, color draining from his face as his eyes scanned over Theo’s appearance.

“She looks rough,” Wilson stated the obvious, his eyes wide and lips turned down at the sight.

“You see the reason for my concern.” It was the rare occasion where Loki did not relish being able to prove his point, as this involved the suffering of a friend. He hadn’t ever seen Theo come undone in such a manner, and even at that moment he had no desire to ever see it again. 

Meanwhile, Maximoff crouched down beside the bed, resting one hand on Theo’s shoulder. “Theo?”

Theo whimpered, shifting slightly before barely cracking one eye open. 

“Hey,” Maximoff offered a small, concerned smile, “heard you’re—“

The unmistakable sound of retching silenced Maximoff mid-sentence as Theo lurched toward the edge of the bed and buried her face into the waste bin.

“Oh, detka —“ Maximoff rubbed Theo’s back as Theo vomited yet again. How Theo had anything in her stomach to expel after her previous bouts of illness, Loki had no idea, but apparently something had been there.

In the midst of everything, Romanoff had taken a seat on the floor, steadying the waste bin with one hand while resting the other hand on Theo to ensure she did not fall out of bed.

A shaky sigh came from Theo, whose head still remained in the bin. She remained in place, body trembling from either chills or exertion, as if she thought the fit had passed but she was not ready to push it.

“Theo?” Maximoff tried again, continuing to rub Theo’s back.

“What?” Theo groaned, her voice notably quiet.

“You seem pretty sick…”

“It’s a migraine.” Theo hesitantly lifted her head from the bin, then listlessly rolled onto her back and covered her eyes with one arm. “Give it a couple days, it’ll pass.”

“You have a fever,” Romanoff pointed out,  “Migraines don’t cause fevers.”

“Mine do,” Theo muttered. 

Maximoff and Romanoff shared an uncertain glance, both turning to look at Loki for a moment before exchanging a second uncertain glance.

“If it takes a couple days to pass, does that mean Loki’s not getting his bed back?” Wilson broached the subject, diverting the conversation from concerns of Theo’s illness towards the much less significant matter of occupying Loki’s quarters.

Romanoff, Maximoff, and Loki all shot Wilson their most venomous glares in an attempt to silence him, lest he make matters worse. In response, Wilson’s eyes grew wider, only then realizing his error.

“Shit.” Theo pulled her arm away from her eyes, cracking them open just enough to take in her surroundings; with a wince, she closed them and returned her arm to its original position. “Forgot about that… Sorry.”

The latter part of her statement was obviously directed at Loki, even though Theo hadn’t actually looked at him; that being said, she hadn’t looked at anyone during the interaction, so it did not seem to be an attempt to ignore or avoid him.

“Give me a minute,” Theo pressed herself up to sit, her arms trembling with the effort required to the degree that the prospect of walking back to her quarters seemed absurd at best. “I’ll go back to my room…”

She turned to set both feet on the floor, drawing in a deep breath before she tried to stand—

— Key word tried, because had it not been for Romanoff’s proximity and lightning reflexes, Theo would have ended up in a crumpled heap on the floor.

Instead, Romanoff caught Theo, gracefully steadying Theo while Romanoff rose to her feet. 

“Let’s not overdo it, Kotik,” Romanoff quietly tutted, easing Theo down to sit on the bed, with her back against the headboard to support her body. 

Face flushed crimson, Theo curled in on herself and wrenched her eyes shut. Her lower lip quivered as she drew in, then let out a shaky breath.

“Boys, out—“ Romanoff directed, pointing at the door as she narrowed her eyes at the trio. 

Barnes and Wilson, all too familiar with Romanoff’s threatening tone of voice, wasted no time making their exit. Loki, however, hesitated; after all, he had every right to remain. The outcome of this conversation impacted him. 

Romanoff glared at Loki, jutting her chin out towards the door, but Loki crossed his arms. 

“This is my bedchamber. And, might I remind you, I was the one who tended to her last night.” Loki quietly challenged, mirroring Romanoff’s glare.

“Nat, it’s fine,” Theo sniffed, half-heartedly wiping at her eyes. Romanoff turned to Theo, frowning while Theo continued her attempts to gather herself. “He’s right.”

Romanoff sighed disapprovingly, but relented, returning the rest of her attention back to the bed.

“Detka, I know you don’t want to, but you really need to go to the doctor,” Maximoff sat on the edge of the mattress and brushed a few loose strands of hair away from Theo’s face. “Please— what if the person who attacked you had poison on his blade or—“

“No,” Theo weakly shook her head, eyes glassy and her voice pleading as she looked at Maximoff, then Romanoff, and finally at Loki. “It’s my fault. I used too much magic.”

Oh.

Upon the revelation, Maximoff and Loki shared a knowing glance.

Overuse of one’s magic - a situation Loki had experienced a time or two in his life, and not one he was keen to repeat if he could help it. Not only was it horrendously unpleasant - each instance rendered him completely invalid for days on end — but the embarrassment that came from one’s weaknesses being on full display brought about a shame that to this day, Loki could not shake.

“It was stupid—“ Theo wiped her eyes and swallowed thickly. “—I’m sorry—“ 

“It’s alright,” Loki quickly reassured, forcing what he prayed was a comforting smile. “Maximoff and I are no strangers to the effects of overextending ourselves.”

“Yeah, but I kept you up all night and then took over your room because I was freaked out from a nightmare—“ A hitching breath cut Theo off, accompanied by a pair of tears streaking down her cheeks, “—and now you’re stuck with me invading your private space for days while I puke my guts out because I can’t even walk back to my room—“

“How about this,” Maximoff gently interrupted, not an ounce of reproach in her voice; she paused to brush away one of Theo’s tears. “We’ll help you back to your bed. Once you’re settled in, we’ll call a doctor to come up and prescribe you something to manage your symptoms until you’re back to feeling like yourself - they've done it for me when I pushed myself too hard, and it really helps.”

“Besides, it sounds like we owe you a girl’s night with lots of ice cream and complaining about men,” Romanoff added with a wink. “That can’t happen until you’re healthy again.” 

Theo narrowed her eyes at Romanoff, brows pinching together as she mulled over Romanoff’s remark. “How’d you know?”

“The internet,” Romanoff answered, then added: “Sounds like he was an ass about it.”

A quiet, watery laugh snuck out of Theo; with a small sniffle, she nodded. 

“Luckily, you have a list of super soldiers and gods who would be more than happy to put Chris in his place,” Maximoff commented with a smile that somehow was both tender and mischievous. “And who would happily help you back to your bed. Take your pick.”  

Theo looked up at Loki, a silent request in her eyes.

Romanoff followed Theo’s gaze. “Loki?” 

“I’m willing to assist.”

Once Loki scooped Theo into his arms and they confirmed she wasn’t about to be ill, the trio emerged from Loki’s bedchambers to find Wilson and Barnes sitting there, staring at the door.

“Where to?” Wilson slapped his hands on his knees before standing, his attention darting from the members of the group to Theo, curled up in Loki’s arms.

“Theo’s room,” Maximoff answered, leading the group to the corridor. 

“No doc?” Barnes questioned as he trailed behind. 

“Making a house call,” Romanoff replied over her shoulder. 

The soldiers and the widow waited in the main room of Theo’s quarters while Loki and Maximoff brought Theo to bed, only for Maximoff to dismiss Loki as soon as Theo had been set down upon her bed.

This time, Loki did not protest, though he did offer Maximoff a curious glance before taking his leave. 

In Theo’s main room, Romanoff stood by the window, one arm crossed in front of her while the other held her mobile to her ear, mid-conversation with what Loki assumed was someone from the infirmary.  The soldiers had made themselves at home on Theo’s sofa, snickering to themselves as they discussed something in voices too low for Loki to hear.

At the click of the door latch, both soldiers’ attention snapped to Loki, both wearing smug grins that made Loki’s hair stand on end.

“Out with it,” Loki grumbled, knowing one or both of the men had some snide remark on the tip of their tongue.

“I can’t believe you brought someone back to your place with no plans to hook up.” Wilson’s grin only widened as he spoke, eyes glinting and tone deceptively light.

“I’m not such a monster to abandon someone in a time of need,” Loki scoffed, opting to lean against a wall with arms crossed to maintain as much distance between them as possible.

“Never said you were,” Wilson held his hands out in a placating gesture, infuriatingly wide smile still on display. “It’s—“

“Dr. Harper should be here in a few minutes,” Romanoff interrupted, approaching the rest of the group while returning her mobile to her pocket. “A crowd isn’t necessary; Wanda and I can take it from here.”

“Fine, fine,” Barnes relented, rising to his feet. Wilson echoed his movement moments later, grumbling to himself about having to leave. “We’ll get outta your hair.”

Barnes and Wilson departed; Loki, however, did not budge. 

“If it’s alright, I’d rather see this through,” Loki explained, after Romanoff gave him a curious look. 

“Suit yourself,” she shrugged, taking up residence in the seat which Barnes abandoned hardly a minute before, perfectly content to sit in silence as they waited.

I'll be there in the hеat of the cold war I wanna be the onе that you're flipping your coin for, hey And if money is time, then I'm burning mine When you're off the line and I'm drinking mine, and I'm gonna see that we get all we deserve 'Cause baby you know that I'm a man of my word, so

Dr. Harper was someone Loki had seen in passing when he’d stop into the infirmary to visit with Theo, but he’d never spoken to Theo’s colleague. Over the time since  Loki befriended Theo, he gleaned that the pair of doctors were friends, knowing each other from before either doctor worked in the infirmary. 

To his surprise, the doctor did not knock before entering Theo’s quarters, strolling in as if she were right at home. Clad in black scrubs and a crisp white overcoat, and with raven hair twisted into a loose bun, Dr. Harper looked as if she came straight from the emergency ward, right down to the small duffle bag slung over her shoulder.

If Dr. Harper was concerned about Theo, she didn’t show any outward signs, casually greeting Romanoff and Loki with a quick wave before disappearing into Theo’s bedchambers.

Recognizing that it would likely be some time before any news, Loki finally abandoned his spot leaning against the wall in favor of the empty space on the sofa. If he were alone, he’d investigate the options on Theo’s bookshelf for something to entertain him, but with Romanoff around he did not wish to raise any suspicion. 

Loki clasped his hands together in his lap, leaned back into his seat, and closed his eyes. 

The faint hint of vanilla, likely from the plethora of candles Theo loved to burn, tickled his nose, as did the scent of fresh flowers. Beneath that, hints of coffee and something spiced - reminiscent of Theo’s perfume - caught Loki’s attention. 

He smiled to himself, slowly drawing in another deep breath and basking in the smell. Sitting in the quiet, Loki eventually found himself floating in a place that wasn’t quite dozing, but wasn’t quite awake either; had it not been for the faint creak of door hinges interrupting the peace some indeterminate amount of time later, he very well might have fallen asleep then and there.

“Did he fall asleep?” Maximoff whispered, completely dragging Loki out of the comfortable state he’d settled into.

“No,” Loki sighed, blinking his eyes open to find all three women - Romanoff, Maximoff, and Dr. Harper - looking at him. He sat up a bit, rolling his shoulders as he adjusted in his seat. “I presume there is a reason you’re all gathered here?”

“You wanted to know what the plan was,” Romanoff said, some strange sense of amusement glistening in her eye. “We’re discussing the plan.”

“Good news is this can be dealt with here - honestly, between her photosensitivity and phonophobia, all the bright lights and sounds would make her feel worse.” Dr. Harper explained, attention shifting between the trio of Avengers as she spoke. “I’m going to put in for a home care nurse to visit and set up an IV with fluids, as well as what we usually refer to as a ‘migraine cocktail’ - it’s a mix of medications meant to treat severe migraines. Even though she’s not technically experiencing a migraine, it will still help with her symptoms. I’ll note it as PRN so if the medicine wears off and symptoms return, all you need to do is call down and they can send someone up to run another round of medicine and likely some more fluids. 

“The only concern I have right now is about dehydration. Right now, she’s pretty dehydrated, which if not addressed can cause serious complications. Even if she isn’t throwing up, sweating a lot without drinking anything can make dehydration worse.”

“How do we know if she’s getting worse?” Romanoff inquired.

“I’ll have the nurse bring a list of symptoms to watch for - if you see any of them, call us right away.” Dr. Harper replied, then added: “the nurse will also complete a brief exam when they start the infusion and when it finishes, plus they will periodically check in on her to make sure things are running smoothly. If you’re ever unsure, feel free to call or text me. I’ll give you my cell number.”

“Based on your report, it seems you’d like someone to look after her?” Loki ventured. 

“Ideally, yes,” Dr. Harper confirmed. “You don’t have to have someone with her 24/7, since she’ll likely spend most of the recovery time sleeping — but checking in semi-frequently is a good idea.”

“Anything else we should do to help?” Maximoff asked, her attention fully focused on the doctor.

“There are a few things that I’d recommend,” Dr. Harper answered. “Keep the room dark and quiet to help with the sensitivity to light and sound. When she’s awake, try to have her drink as much as she can - ideally electrolyte drinks, but water and juice are also fine... I doubt she’ll want to eat, but if she is hungry and she’s not nauseous, stick to bland food and take it slow. 

“Otherwise? If she’s tired, let her sleep, even if that means she’s sleeping 95% of the time. Sleep is crucial for healing.” Dr. Harper smiled at Maximoff. “Remember, if you have any questions along the way, you can always send me a message or give me a call.”

After exchanging contact information, Dr. Harper departed.

“I’ll stay with her for now,” Maximoff volunteered, “Lokes, you were up all night with her; you should go, catch up on sleep.”

“I’m fine,” Loki protested, hesitant to leave despite the knowledge that the situation had been addressed. “Truly—“

“You pretty much fell asleep on the couch and you were getting snippy with Sam and Buck,” Romanoff countered, “You get that way when you haven’t slept enough.”

“Go to bed — I promise, we’ve got this.” Maximoff offered Loki a hand and a reassuring smile. “You can stop by later if you want.”

Loathe as he was to admit it, his sleep deprivation had become rather burdensome. 

Begrudgingly, Loki accepted the hand and allowed Maximoff to pull him to his feet. “If you insist, I will take my leave.” 

Upon returning to his own quarters, Loki went to clean up the waste bin to discover that it had been taken care of for him. Instead of sitting beside the bed, the container had been returned in its usual location, a random drop of water indicating it had been washed, as well as with a new bag lining the interior.

The thought of someone in his quarters raised a bit of internal concern, but the relief of not needing to complete such a tedious task quickly overtook the discomfort.

A quick snap of his fingers closed the drapes, plunging the room into darkness. Loki didn’t bother to change into pajamas, instead stripping down to his boxers before collapsing atop the bed. He rolled onto his side and took a deep breath, surprised to find the lingering herbal scent of Theo’s shampoo, interspersed with the salt of clean sweat and a tinge of vanilla, had infused itself into his pillow.

For the second time in less than twenty four hours, Loki drifted into a pleasant, dreamless sleep.

If your bills are late And you're low on steam You know what they say “Only the broke can dream” And if time is money And the math is right You don't gotta spend your money Baby, just spend the night, so

After three days of hiding away in her room while sleeping off the effects of overextending herself via magic, Theo felt well enough to emerge from her suite.

Having made the mistake of pushing herself too hard before, Theo knew it would take some more time to get her energy back, even after sleeping more in three days than she typically would in three weeks. But she no longer relied on medication to eliminate her nausea and pain, sudden lights or sounds no longer felt like someone drilling into her skull, and her fever broke sometime during the second day.

Feeling well enough, however, was not quite enough to inspire any adventures.

The lingering embarrassment of causing her own misery made Theo want nothing more than to hide away for an eternity, no matter how many times Wanda promised it wasn’t a big deal. One cursory glance at her phone showed an avalanche of notifications - news alerts about her and questions about if the rumors of her breakup were true. Being sick gave her an excuse to avoid talking about the breakup - after all, no one wanted to be that guy who made a sick person feel worse by bringing up a painful topic - once people realized she was feeling better, they’d jump on the chance to rub salt in the wound.

She hadn’t worked up the courage to look at any of the headlines, knowing that Chris’s most rabid fans would inevitably have plenty of nasty things to say about her. It probably didn’t help the gossip cycle that she hadn’t yet commented on the matter, but that was a bandaid she wasn’t quite ready to rip off.

And that wasn’t even getting into her embarrassment about what Loki saw, much less how she essentially stole his room from him for a night.

So, even though she’d been cooped up in her room for three days, Theo ignored the innate restlessness that came with recovery and stayed right where she was - laying in her bed, staring at her ceiling and contemplating the life choices that led her to her current state.

“I’m surprised you’re still in bed,” A low, velvet voice interrupted her brooding, prompting Theo to look over at the door. 

Loki leaned against the door frame, arms crossed loosely and aventurine eyes sparkling as he regarded Theo with a soft smile. Dressed in a charcoal hoodie and dark, slim-fit jeans, he looked more than ready for a relaxing day at home. 

Shit - Theo was not ready for this.

“You’re not one to remain stationary for long when you’re well,” Loki elaborated, leaning away from the doorframe as he studied her. “From what Maximoff told me this morning, you were supposedly feeling much better.”

“I do feel better,” Theo replied with a half-hearted smile and a small shrug.

“Yet, you remain in bed.” Loki stepped into the room, soft smile slowly shifting into a hint of a frown as his brows pinched together. 

“I…” Theo faltered, unable to whip up some clever excuse or diversion. “Yeah, I’m still in bed.” 

Loki perched himself at the edge of the mattress, shoulders tensing as Theo finally sat up in response. He watched, only looking more worried as Theo slid back to lean on the headboard, drawing her blankets up before looking back at him and forcing a smile.

“Is something the matter?” Loki seemed hesitant as he asked, searching Theo’s eyes for some unknown validation. “You seem quite distant. Have I done something wrong?”

“No!” Theo blurted out the answer without thinking, frantically shaking her head with enough vigor that Loki startled. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly before continuing. “No, you didn’t do anything wrong. If anything, I should be apologizing to you for the other night – it’s embarrassing that you had to deal with me when I was like that.”

Loki’s expression softened, and his shoulders relaxed a bit at the answer, though it wasn’t quite the level of ease that Theo had grown used to. “Why would you apologize?”

“Because you didn’t deserve for me to have a nuclear meltdown and to be stuck dealing with the aftermath,” Theo replied. “We give each other shit and joke around and talk about books - you didn’t sign up for me having a nuclear scale meltdown or picking my dumbass off the floor and making sure I was alright when it was my own damn fault that I felt awful to begin with. Honestly, I wasn’t sure you’d even want to look at me after that - I was a mess.” 

As Loki listened to Theo’s explanation, his shoulders continued to relax, while the gentle smile from earlier made its return. 

Before Loki replied, a quiet laugh – barely more than a puff of air – snuck out. “You forget who my brother is; he has most assuredly forced me to tolerate much worse, for far less noble reasons.” 

“Puking out his guts and bawling his eyes out about a breakup with no explanation, then taking over your bed and preventing you from getting any sleep while getting his sweat and probably some vomit on it?” Theo skeptically challenged, narrowing her eyes at Loki.

He laughed, hiding his smile behind one hand as he shook his head. “Darling, when it comes to Thor, that wouldn’t even break the top 100.”

“I’m not sure I believe you, but alright,” Theo conceded; Loki’s answers had eased a bit of her embarrassment, but she wasn’t entirely over the discomfort. “Either way, thanks– for the other night, and for not making me feel worse about it afterwards.” 

“Of course,” Loki answered like he had been thanked for something simple like handing Theo a pencil, not dropping everything to be there for Theo when she completely fell apart. He opened his mouth to speak, paused for a moment, then added: “Has it occurred to you that you give all your time, compassion, and energy to caring for others in their time of need, without judgment, yet you refuse to consider that others might wish to do the same for you?”

Theo, caught off guard by Loki’s observation, laughed nervously. 

“That’s a conversation for my therapist.” She tried to make it sound like a joke, hoping that Loki would get the hint to drop the subject for the moment. 

“Are there other matters that keep you confined to your bed, or are those only discussed with your therapist?” Loki tried, infusing a similarly lighthearted tone to his question.

Knowing Loki, he’d figure it out sooner or later; no use in delaying the inevitable.

“I’m not ready for the questions and comments about Chris,” Theo admitted, staring down at her hands as she wrung them in her lap. “Or the pity looks that come with getting dumped. Or people’s reactions to learning I literally made myself sick from magic.”

The bed shifted beneath Theo; she looked up to find Loki moving to sit beside her, intentionally leaning over to bump her shoulder with his. 

“You’re not the first Avenger to endure heartbreak - the others know well enough to let you address the matter on your terms. Though I will say, Romanoff and Maximoff have an arsenal of insipid - truly, downright asinine romantic comedies ready for when you want to partake in your quote-unquote girl’s night.” Loki chuckled to himself as he continued: “Additionally, Belova and Barnes have started a competition of who can come up with the most overly-elaborate revenge schemes; I’m certain they would love to indulge you if you’re feeling particularly spiteful. Even Rogers has contributed an idea or two.” 

The thought of Steve, of all people, proposing a revenge plot coaxed a real laugh out of Theo, which in turn widened Loki’s grin. 

“As for the rest of Midgard, they are not even aware you were ill; they simply think you’ve been occupied with matters related to the Avengers, and far too busy with truly important work to concern yourself with a pathetic Midgardian who could not even show you the respect of ending the relationship face-to-face.” Loki added, his tone shifting to downright disgust as he described Chris.

“You sound pissed at him…” Theo commented, not sure what to make of Loki’s sudden shift in temper.

“I will admit, I may have assisted in the development of a few of Barnes and Belova’s revenge fantasies.” Just like that, Loki returned to his usually clever self, offering Theo an impish grin to accompany his wry remark. “But we need not discuss further, if you wish.”

“Maybe later.” Without thinking, Theo let her head tilt to the side, resting on Loki’s shoulder; the conversation with Loki had alleviated some of her worries, enough to make her reconsider the decision to stay in bed. “A change of scenery would be nice.”

Loki turned to Theo; with the angle of her head upon his shoulder, Theo could feel Loki’s satisfied  grin as it curled over his lips. 

“I knew you wouldn’t stay hidden away for long,” Loki murmured, his breath a comforting warmth upon Theo’s scalp. He sat up and away from the headboard, rising effortlessly from the bed before offering a hand to Theo and helping her to her feet. His hand found a place on the small of her back as they walked through Theo’s suite, reminding Theo of all the other times Loki naturally looked out for her, all the while never making her feel uncomfortable or guilty about it. It struck her that for so long, Loki was seen as a bad person because of past events, but the reality was that anyone would be lucky to have him as a friend - Theo certainly felt lucky to have him looking out for her.

Just before they reached the door, Theo turned to Loki and threw her arms around him, hugging him tight. 

A small grunt of surprise came from Loki, though he returned the gesture without missing a beat.

“I know I said it before, but really - thank you,” Theo tried to explain herself as she leaned away, cheeks heating up at how basic she sounded. “As embarrassing as the whole meltdown thing was, I’m glad you were the one there to help me through it.”

Loki leaned away as well, a sheepish smile on his face as he replied:

“I’m glad I was, too.”

Tell me, would you put your money on me? Count it - one, two, three Both of us are trouble with a capital “T” But you're safe with me I wanna know baby, would you count on me? 'Cause I'd bet on you, baby, that's easy money That's easy money

—————

Author’s Note: Hello friends!

I'm trying something new - author's notes at the end of the chapter instead of the beginning.

Last week had all of the hurt, this week has lots of comfort and soft fluff. And Sam and Bucky being Sam and Bucky. 😂🥰

Here’s the deal: I’m about to head into the busiest time of year for work (between the 18th and 29th of March, I will not have any days off and will clock about 120 hours of in-person meetings and events - that isn’t including things that I need to finish independently); in addition, my capstone and independent study report for my master’s are due on April 19th, followed by my master’s portfolio on April 26th.

Over spring break I tried to write ahead as much as possible, but I haven’t made the progress I was hoping to make. As it is, this chapter is just sliding in before the end of the night. With that in mind, I’m hoping to sneak a chapter out once I have the chance to flex some time at work in a few weeks, but in the absolute worst case scenario, that first weekend in May is reading period for my students and when my schedule completely clears out, so I’ll definitely be able to share something then! Anyways, thanks for your patience, and hope you enjoy <3 reblogs are always appreciated, and lmk if you want to be added to the tag list!

#loki #loki fanfiction #marvel fanfiction #marvel #mcu fanfiction #loki x oc fanfiction #loki fluff #loki comfort #loki slow burn #friends to lovers #Avengers AU #wemtbb #when everything's made to be broken #loki fanfic #loki odinson #loki angst

[loki-cees-all]

The Little Things Give You Away Masterlist {Post!TVA Loki x OFC Longfic}

Cee's Loki Fic Masterlist / A03 Link

Series Summary : It’s just a compulsion to steal the TemPad, and it’s just a habit to flee. The timelines have split, the TVA is in disarray, the threat of He Who Remains is insurmountable - and Loki is just so done with it all.

But it isn’t until Loki gives up that he manages to find everything he’s ever wanted. 

Pairing : Post-TVA!Loki x Olivette (OFC)

Tags / Content : Canon Divergence - Post Loki (Season 1), Forced Proximity, Uneasy Allies, Strangers to Lovers, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Idiots in Love, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Smut

18+ only - Minors DNI

⊱ ─ ༓ ── ⋅•⋅⊰ ─  ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ∙ ⋅  ─ ⊱⋅•⋅ ── ༓ ─ ⊰

Prologue - Take This All Away - posted May 28th, 2023

Chapter 1 - And the Silence Splits Me Open - posted October 8th, 2023

Chapter 2 - A Little Bit of Loneliness, A Little Bit of Disregard - posted October 15th, 2023

Chapter 3 - Then With the Eyes Shut - posted October 29th, 2023

Chapter 4 - Looking Through the Rust and Rotten Dust - posted November 14th, 2023

Chapter 5 - These Wounds, They Will Not Heal - posted December 22nd, 2023

Chapter 6 - The Eyes Ease Open, and It's Dark Again - posted January 13th, 2024

Chapter 7 - All the Tiring Time Between - posted April 7th, 2024

Chapter 8 - Searching For A Message - coming May 7th, 2024

⊱ ─ ༓ ── ⋅•⋅⊰ ─  ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ∙ ⋅  ─ ⊱⋅•⋅ ── ༓ ─ ⊰

Click here to be added to my Loki fic tag list! 💚

#loki fanfiction #loki laufeyson #loki #loki x original female character #loki angst #loki smut #tva loki #cee writes #loki imagine #loki fanfic #loki odinson #loki fic #loki mcu #marvel #imagine #fanfic #smut #fluff #angst #loki imagines #loki fluff #hurt/comfort #loki hurt/comfort #mutual pining #loki mutual pining #idiots in love #slow burn #loki slow burn #TLTGYA #loki x ofc

[november-rayne]

The Unthinkable Offering (A Loki FanFiction)

Imprisoned and isolated. Seidr suppressed. All but forgotten.

Loki has been sentenced to life in prison after the attack on New York. Circumstances lead Odin to reverse his decision, but Loki's freedom comes with a heavy price.

Chapter 1: The Prologue

How many times had he dreamt of this, laying on that small cot thousands of nights in a row? Dreaming of having someone beside him. Being able to reach out and feel softness, to feel warmth. How many nights had he laid there longing to touch and be touched in return? Longing for someone to talk to and to listen to. Longing for someone to call his own. Wishing for someone who could love him despite what he is or what he has done.

How cruel it was to keep him isolated. Caged. To have one’s freedoms, one’s choices stripped away was one thing. To be kept completely solitary was another. Cruel was too weak a word for what was done to him.

But, how much crueler was this? To have something he craved for so long, so close, but not being able to reach out for it. For her. The child. No. This was much bleaker.

Loki turned his eyes towards her again. Her soft angelic face, smooth as porcelain was bathed in moonlight from the tall windows of their bedchamber. Her long eyelashes were fanning the tops of her cheeks as she slept. Her full lips were slightly parted as she took slow steady breaths. So innocent. So pure. He would not be the one to taint her. He would not contaminate her with his seed. No, absolutely not.

He dared not let his gaze drift lower than her face. He knew what he would see: a woman’s body. While he was locked away from the world she had grown up. She had come of age. Her body had changed, but her eyes were still the same. And when he looked into her eyes, he only saw the child that he had known before he fell from the Bifrost.

She was sleeping on her side facing him. She always slept facing him. One hand tucked under her cheek the other outstretched towards him.

An offer.

An invitation.

One that he would not accept. Her left hand lay on the bed between them. His ring on her finger.

Damn you, Odin. Damn you to Hel. She deserved better than this. She deserved a real husband. Someone closer to her own age. Someone good. Someone Asgardian. Or Vanir. Or even bloody Midgardian! Not a monster. Not a beast.

A fresh wave of frustration washed over him, and he turned his eyes back to the ceiling again. He had to remain calm. None of this was her fault. Even though she stupidly agreed to marry him. She was a child. Easily manipulated by the King to accept. Pressured into compliance for his own gains. She had no idea what she was truly agreeing to. She thought she was marrying the same person she remembered from her childhood. The one who entertained her and her sisters with seidr. The one who would listen to her run-on stories. The one she used to pick dandelions for. The one who thought he was a son of Odin.

But he was no longer that person. How could he be? That person was not real. That person never existed. That person was a fiction made up by Odin.

Loki Odinson.

He scoffed to himself as he swung his legs over the side of the bed. He sat there for a moment, thinking about the predicament he found himself in as he stared at the intricate golden cuff around his right ankle. He should have just been left to rot beneath the palace. It would have been kinder than this. He had not truly regained his freedom. Only his cell had changed. Trapped in these chambers. And now with a hostage. He would not give in to Odin’s demand. He would not produce an heir. Not with her. Not with anyone.

He walked out of the bedroom, poured himself a drink and held the cool crystal to his forehead. He needed air. Stepping out onto the balcony, he took in the sight laid out before him. The golden city. Sleepy and dark. Night insects trilling, calling out for a mate. A cool breeze providing him with a bit of calm. He went so many years without fresh air. He would never take these small comforts for granted again.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He relished the feel of the cool air filling his lungs and the light breeze moving his hair.

And then he heard her as she came through the doors behind him.

“You should be asleep.” He scolded her without turning to face her.

“You should be as well.” Her voice small, afraid to anger him.

“Go back to bed.” He sighed as he walked further out onto the balcony.

“Will you come too?”

“No.”

“Oh.”

She made no move to go back inside.

Loki sighed again and walked further away from her to rest his hands on the stone railing.

Irritation prickled him as he heard her bare feet shuffle cross the stone tiles to stand beside him. He did not look at her, but he could see from his peripheral vision that she had not donned a robe. She was standing out there in the thin nightgown she usually slept in.

“I told you to go back to bed.”

“I thought I might join you for a little while.”

“Do you wish to fall ill?”

“No.”

“You are not dressed for the night air.”

“I am fine. Really. I rather enjoy the coolness on my skin.”

Loki froze. His posture stiffened and he clenched his hands into fists.

“I do not want your company. Go back to bed.”

She muttered a quiet apology and quickly retreated inside.

Her skin.

Her warm skin.

His cool hands skimming her warm, soft skin. How dare she bring that image into his mind. He flexed his hands, trying to banish the phantom feeling of warmth his imagination had brought to his fingertips.

Monster.

He could never let himself forget who he truly was. A wolf in sheep’s clothing. The monster parents tell their children about at night.

He never should have bartered for his freedom. He should have remembered Odin’s deals only benefit himself.

#The Unthinkable Offering #loki fanfic #loki #ao3 #ao3 fanfic #loki fandom #loki laufeyson #loki fanfiction #tom hiddleston characters #loki angst #loki slow burn

[princesscatalina99]

If anyone plays an amazing Loki, please tell me.

#oc rp #loki odinson #loki laufeyson #lokiedit #loki #loki fanfic #loki (marvel) #loki god of mischief #loki smut #loki hot #loki slow burn #loki sex #loki kneel

[mobius-m-mobius]

#just a wizard gentleman and his butler 🪄🎩

#mobius #loki #lokius #victor timely #loki spoilers #mcuedit #lokiedit #marveledit #owen wilson #tom hiddleston #wasn't gonna make this set until later in the week and we all know mobius is calling the shots BUT #even though it's not the same thing i can't get a slow burn valet au out of my mind and it's driving me insane please someone write this 😭 #the way mobius is constantly supporting and hyping everything about loki they were taught to push aside... never getting over it... #and just because it needs to be said i've been crying over owen in that victorian fit for days now god is he beautiful 😭😭 #loki s2 spoilers #marvel #owenwilsonedit #dianagifs #flashing cw

[bean-bean2000]

The Maid - Series Masterlist

Pairing: Loki x reader

Summary: You wake up one day to the man who held you prisoner, throwing you to the ground at the feet of the royal guards. You’re being sold to work for the royal crown, as repayment for the debt left behind by your deceased parents. What will you do when the guards are given too much freedom to treat you as they wish. Will you get your revenge? What will happen when you’re suddenly chosen to be the king’s personal maid?

Note: I do not accept nor allow any of my work to be copied, reposted, translated, or used for anything without my explicit consent.

I am not responsible for what you consume and read on the internet. Please read all warnings at the beginning of each chapter before proceeding. Read at your own caution. Thank you!

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8

Part 9

Part 10

..................

#fanfic #king loki #loki x reader #loki laufeyson #loki #marvel #thor #thor odinson #angst #slow burn #marvel universe #angst with a happy ending

[hannibals-favourite-meal]

.⋆｡Lost Souls Part 2｡⋆.

The Lost Princess Chapter 8

Jotun!Loki x plus size reader

With the discovery of who Loki really is, Y/N returns to the avengers determined to forget him, but things are never that simple

Warnings: arranged marriage, angst, enhanced!reader, swearing, age gap, angst, depression, sickness, fluff, smut (finally), loss of virginity, minimal foreplay, some confessions, unprotected sex, bit of praise kink

WC: 3k

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

Minors DNI

Library- @hannibals-favourite-meal-library

Snow whipped around her violently, slicing into her skin like tiny knives. Huge columns of ice surrounded her, caging her in a frozen maze which she could never hope to escape alone.

Fear clawed up her belly as Y/N snapped her head around, eyes wide, desperately searching for a way out. “This isn't the palace!” She screamed into oblivion but, of course, received no answer back. 

There was a light in the distance, just barely shining through the haze of the storm, tempting her towards the unknown. An ache deep in her chest pulled her forwards, guiding her through the frozen forest until she reached a humble cabin tucked between to particularly large columns. It was quite obviously not built with a Frost Giant in mind given its small size. It rather looked like it was made for a human.

A dying candle in the window was the only light emanating from the otherwise dark house. The storm was beginning to grow worse so Y/N picked up her pace until she found herself at the doorstep.

She had only a moment of hesitation before she placed her hand upon the doorknob and let the heavy wood swing outwards, tempting her inside. The wind screamed as she stepped into the cabin, adding to the dread that was slowly building inside her.

The door slammed shut behind her, making Y/N jump. “Jesus Christ.” She muttered to herself, eager to hear something besides the frantic beating of her heart. The candle flickered, the wick almost completely gone now.

There came a groan from the darkness, it was weak and sickly like the sound a dying animal would make in its last moments. A shuddering breath escaped her lungs as Y/N tried to pinpoint where the sound had come from.

She would kill Heimdall if he sent her to the den of some monster. Holding out her trembling hand, she focused as best she could on her palm, allowing for a small flame to grow just above the middle of her hand. 

Slowly, more of the cabin became illuminated revealing a large fireplace with a small kitchenette beside it, a shelf stuffed with books and a single bed pushed into the far corner. A mass of blankets sat on top of the mattress, moving slightly as another groan echoed through the room.

Now less frightened, Y/N quietly inched to the bed. The pile shifted again, revealing  the top of their head. Raven hair fanned out over the pillow beneath them. Y/N held her breath as she gently pulled back the covers with her free hand.

“Oh Loki.” This was the boy she loved so long ago, all grown up. 

He was so infallibly human, pale skin free from any of the dark markings she had remembered. A long nose and high cheekbones made him even more regal, if it wasn't for the gauntness of his cheeks and the almost bruise-like dark circles beneath his eyes. 

She let herself touch his forehead but quickly pulled away when she felt the extreme chill that his skin held. This was far colder than she had ever seen from him before. He could barely move as he unconsciously leaned into her warmth.

“Shit. We have to get you warmed up.” Quickly, Y/N tucked the blankets around him again before she scurried over to the fireplace, praying that there was any sort of firewood around. 

Loki groaned as she moved away. “I know, just a minute.” She gave a small shout of triumph as she found a few logs in the kitchen cabinet. Throwing them into the hearth with very little grace and fell to her knees. Wrapping a hand around one of the pieces of wood in the centre of the pile, she took a deep breath.

Heat raced through her veins and far easier than ever before, fire bloomed from her skin, setting the wood alight. She sighed in relief as the cabin's air began to warm up but not nearly quick enough for her taste.

She looked back at her husband who's dark brows were now scrunched together as if he were in pain while he continued to shiver violently. Rising to her feet, Y/N stripped off her sweater and shorts, leaving her only in her underwear as she approached the bed once more.

Loki's body trembled with the cold as she pulled back the sheets, but stopped as soon as she slipped behind him, curling her soft body around him as best she could. One arm wound around his stomach, her palm coming to rest right above his heart as her other hand slid beneath the pillow and his head, almost cradling him.

He was so weak, barely a glimmer of the man she married remained as the fever ravaged him. It would have been easy to walk right back out of that door and let him die for the things that he did. But instead, her arms tightened around his body. 

She couldn't leave him, not when he refused to abandon her, not when his very presence soothed the rage sea of fire within her.

“Just rest now, I'll take care of you.” She placed a kiss on his temple then shut her eyes, her mind finally at peace.

“Good morning sleepyhead.” Her voice called out to him through a fog. Loki smiled and pried his eyes open to see his wife standing before a roaring fire, an open book in her hands. She only wore a shirt of his and nothing else, leaving very little to the imagination which he was incredibly grateful for.

“The gods must have smiled upon me to grant me such a dream.” He murmured, happily settling back into the bed to watch what he believed to be his last moments. “I have missed you so, little star. I do hope that you are safe and that you are happy without me.”

The book snapped shut and he raised an eyebrow at her, making her put the book back upon the shelf so he could have her undivided attention. “This isn't a dream.” She stated firmly but Loki just laughed weakly under his breath.

“This must be a dream because I know you would never come back, not after I've done so much evil.” Her steps were light as she walked back to him. He opened his arms to her, willing this apparition to grant him one last shred of comfort.

But she did not obey, instead she took his hand and laid it upon her breast, letting him feel the heat of her skin and the beating of her heart. “I am real. I am here. And you have been a complete bastard but you are my husband and it is my duty to be beside you and keep you from making any more stupid decisions.”

She released her hold on his wrist but Loki's touch remained firmly planted on her as if to convince himself that this was, in fact, real. “I am not dead?”

“Not as far as I can tell.” She replied.

“And you are here with me?”

“Took the Bifrost myself.” Y/N traced the line of his jaw carefully as if her touch could break him. “You've been so sick, burning a fever that I almost couldn't stop. I've been here for days and this is the first time you've been coherent enough to realise that you weren't alone anymore.”

The crackle of the fire masked the sound of yet another storm outside, providing the lost prince with a comfort he had not felt since she was last in his arms. "Thank you.” He whispered, though it was not just for her healing hand. Loki nuzzled into her touch as his own still felt the strong beat of her heart.

He stopped for a moment then spoke once more. “Why did you come back, really?”

Loki watched with bated breath as Y/N sighed deeply, seemingly lost in her own thoughts as she struggled to answer him. Unable to help himself, his hands wandered down to her wide hips and cupped them softly. “I remember you- this you.” Her fingertips brushed along his cheekbone, his now green eyes gazing up at her with reverence.

“I remember that first summer when I met you. You were so small then, but of course so was I. You were always so kind to me, telling me stories of heroes and gods. Then you would leave, for weeks, sometimes months and I often wondered if I had just dreamed you up. Mom said you were real because I believed in you but not all mothers indulge their children.” She chuckled and her fingers moved to his hair, tangling themselves in the soft locks.

She let him pull her closer so that his chin could rest upon her sternum, having to bend slightly forward so that his head would not connect to her collarbone, even in his human form Loki still towered over her. Her brow crinkled. “But I forgot you. And yet, that feeling of home, of safety, of love still remained, even when I hated your guts and you kept me locked in that stupid fucking bedroom.” He groaned into her skin.

“I won't apologise for that.” He grumbled.

“I know.” She cooed. “It was all so confusing and terrifying, I couldn't recall what was real and what was because of my broken mind but you were there and in your own way, you helped me. Your rules, your temper, your teachings- all of it grounded me, let me realise that I could trust in something if I couldn't trust myself.”

“And what is that?” His words were a mere breath of air as Y/N took his hands into her own, her warmth and his chill blending together perfectly, and guided him to his feet. He obeyed easily, only stumbling for a moment as his body struggled to remain upright after being in bed for weeks.

“That I love you.” His eyes flicked over her face, almost searching for any sign of deceit but when he found none, his control shattered. 

Her lips were just as soft as he remembered, just as addictive, as he kissed her gently. He could feel the beginnings of her smile but it quickly dropped as his hands fell to her wide hips, pinning her to his front.

Y/N gasped into his mouth, allowing his tongue to snake between her lips. Her fingers curled into his shirt, pulling at the fine fabric, desperate to get him even closer. Molten heat pooled between her soft thighs as his hardness grew against her soft stomach.

“My princess, do you wish for this to go further?” She moaned at the sincerity of his tone, so different from Steve's. She could help but nod frantically.

“Yes master, I need you.” It was so easy to slip backwards, let him take all of the responsibility and control but Loki's grip tightened while he forced himself from her lips.

“No, not this time. It's just us, the way it should have been so long ago.” The tip of his nose brushed against hers gently in reverence. “Just you and me, nothing more.”

Her smile widened as her eyes sparkled with adoration. “Yes, I want to be with you Loki.” His expression melted.

“You are everything.” This time his kiss was far more desperate. His touch seemed to be everywhere, exploring every part of her that he could while refusing to part from her swollen lips.

Her arms wound around his neck as Loki's hands traced up the soft skin of her thighs, slipping beneath her shirt before coming to a stop right where her legs met her hips. 

He froze and then a growl rumbled through his chest. “You weren't fucking wearing anything under this?” He hissed, making her giggle softly.

“What, it's not like you keep a healthy stock of panties here and I spent three days nursing you back to health.”

“Fuck.” He groaned and before she could even yelp, he turned and threw her onto the bed, knocking most of the pillows off with the force of it. “You delectable temptress, you have enchanted me.”

His own shirt was quickly shed, revealing to her a lean but muscular torso decorated with faint silvery lines of scars and hairless save for a trail of it leading to a dark thatch of it right at the axis of his hips. 

At the sight, Y/N squeezed her thighs together, desperate for some kind of friction to ease her aching cunt. His black trousers were pulled tight with the weight of his cock which was getting harder by the second.

“Come here husband.” She held her arms open to him, mirroring the way he had done for her mere minutes before. 

Green eyes stared deeply into her own e/c ones as Loki slowly placed his hands on either side of her calves and began to crawl up the length of her body, forcing her legs apart in order to slip his body between them.

He caught one of her thighs against his knee and as his face finally levelled with hers, he pushed her leg forwards, leaving her bare and vulnerable to him. Only a thin layer of fabric kept them apart now. “Anything for you, wife.”

His breath fanned across her lips, his raven hair hanging down like a curtain that sealed them away from the rest of the realms. No more words were needed, everything that he wanted to tell her and she him was caught in the lustful gaze that neither wished to break.

Her leg tightened around his slim hip, pulling him impossibly closer. Their moans wove together like wisps of smoke as his still covered cock pressed against her pussy. 

Leaning his weight onto one hand, Loki's other slipped between them, all-too eager to finally have her. 

Y/N lifted her head to kiss him once more as slender fingers cupped her mound. “Loki.” Her hips bucked, trying to get him to move faster to the place she needed him most but he would not budge.

“Patience my star, I do not wish to hurt you.” But his voice wavered with his effort to stop himself from taking her right then. She whined pitifully, now growing desperate for some kind of relief.

“I don't care, I just want you.” His head dropped to the crook of her neck as he groaned. “Please, do not make me beg.” She could feel his control begin to wane even as he drew closer to her dripping entrance.

His teeth nipped at her skin in warning but of course she would not heed it. “I'm a god, you cannot hurt me.” She tried one last time.

Loki chuckled, his back shifting beneath her hands. “Well then, perhaps I shouldn't deprive my princess of what she so clearly wants any more.” She could barely bite back her whine as he pulled away from her.

The ties to his trousers loosened with barely a flick of his wrist, releasing himself from the now entirely too-tight confines of the fabric. He let out a sigh of relief then shucked the pants down his legs as best he could without adding anymore space between them.

His cock rested between her lips teasingly, the chill from him sending pleasured goosebumps across her body. Loki pressed the head against her entrance. “Are you sure?” He asked once more, his tone now entirely soft.

“I've never been more sure of anything.” 

The stretch was unlike anything she had felt before, carrying with it a sharp pinch of pain and a mind-numbing fullness that had her jaw dropping in a silent scream. He was carving out his place inside of her, marking her as eternally his.

“By the gods.” He snarled through clenched teeth. “You are tight.” The muscles in his back rippled as he tentatively pushed forwards, forcing another inch inside her already stuffed cunt. Her back arched into his chest in some desperate attempt to make more room for his monstrous cock.

“Big.” Was all she could gasp out through pressure in her stomach. Loki's hips stuttered and suddenly he was fully seated within her, his heavy balls tightly pressed to her ass as the base of his pelvis shone with the sheer amount of wetness that had been dripping from her.

He pressed his mouth to her lips in a messy kiss as he tried to regain some semblance of control. “That's it, that's my good girl. You took it all so well. I'm so proud of you.”

Her pussy rippled around him at the praise. “Princess.” He moaned and unable to stop himself any longer, Loki pulled out just a couple inches and then thrust back into her warmth quickly. 

It sent shockwaves of pleasure up her spine and pushed the pain to the back of her mind. Her heel dug into his back. “More.” She cried. “Please, more!”

Her whole body jolted up the mattress with his next thrust and she wailed into the air. “Whatever you wish, my star. I would do everything for you.” 

Tears rolled down her temples as he gripped her waist, keeping her body still for him to plunder. “You are more divine than the heavens, than any dream that my broken mind could conjure.”

He hit that special place inside her that forced the air from her lungs and made her vision spot with blackness as ecstasy curled around the base of his spine. “My pet.”

He thrust again. “My princess.”

Her nails sliced into his shoulders as her body wound tight. “My guiding star.” 

His hips lost their rhythm for a moment and Y/N was finally able to choke out- “My Loki.” 

Their ends collided together in a storm of epic proportions as they held each other close, unwilling to let go of their most precious possession. 

“I love you.” Loki managed to say between breaths. 

“I love you.” She responded immediately. He looked down at her, seemingly unable to find anything else to say until his eyes dropped to where her shirt had exposed her chest.

The silver of the necklace glinted brilliantly in the dying firelight, shining like a star. “You- you didn't take it off.”

Her gaze followed his own and then travelled back to his face. “Not even for a second.”

And as their lips met once more, Loki thought that if this was a dream, he wished to never awaken again.

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[maple-seed]

Thrown - Chapter 46: Lokabrenna

Summary: Loki makes an escape with you.

Word Count: 1,482

Author's Notes: We are back. 6 chapters to go and I'm going to do my best to keep to the once-a-week schedule.

Thrown Masterlist Loki Masterlist

Bruce Banner was a perfectly tolerable person to be around, probably. Loki could recognize this in an objective sense. He was polite, deferential even. Quite intelligent. He had a decent sense of humor, in a quiet sort of way. Easily the most amiable Avenger to have in one's company. Loki also knew, logically, that Bruce Banner and the Hulk were two separate entities that merely shared a common point of origin, on occasion. Still, despite all of this, when Loki was in the presence of the mild-mannered scientist he could think of little else aside from the marble floor of Stark's penthouse, and the sound it made as Loki passed through it.

As Bruce had stepped off the quinjet Valkyrie greeted him with a grin and a punch to the arm. "Hey, big guy." He responded with a nervous smile while rubbing his arm. "Hey." Before he had a chance to recover, Thor had swung in with one of his exuberant hugs. "Banner! Welcome back to New Asgard!" "Yeah, thanks, good to be here." Banner met Loki next and extended a hand. "Hey Loki, are you... uh, how are you?" The man seemed to be uncertain even of the question he was asking. Loki shook his hand, pleased that it seemed the discomfort wasn't entirely his to bear. "I'm well, Dr. Banner. And you?"

Loki had been made aware that Banner had played a key role in the Asgardians' escape from Ragnarok, and then Thanos after that. This explained the warm welcome he had received from the citizens of New Asgard. It did not explain the strange closeness he shared with the Valkyrie. It was Loki's understanding that she had sold the Hulk into slavery on Sakaar, yet they seemed to be on very friendly terms. There must be more to that story, but Loki considered that he may not want to know. Then again, she had also sold Thor into slavery and now she was essentially his advisor and lieutenant. Perhaps she was simply very gifted in making amends.

Part of the agreement that allowed the Æsir to settle here on Earth involved certain aspects of trade. They would be given a place to make their home, and in return the Asgardians would share their knowledge and technology with carefully-chosen human parties. Additionally, in exchange for allowing New Asgard to be built here specifically, several benefits of Stark Industries were being extended to the mortal town. Banner was here to oversee progress and move forward with these trades.

Blessedly, this meant that Loki's presence was not needed, as most of Banner's interactions were with the Æsir engineers and human officials. And so it was not much of an issue that Loki had somewhere else to be, and he quietly excused himself and slipped away from the clamor.

You had suggested another hike to spend the night on the mountain and Loki jumped at the opportunity. He hadn't told you of the dream he had when he was away at the compound, but the images from it had lingered in his mind. It was something he longed to recapture. You had invited Thor, but he declined, citing all the work that needed to be done. Loki had never been so grateful to his brother.

As he approached your cabin you were on the porch, laying out supplies that you would likely be asking Loki to transport. You straightened and smiled. "What took you so long?" "I beg your pardon." He leaned in to plant a quick kiss. "We received Bruce Banner along with a number of his apprentices today. I had to perform certain duties before I could diplomatically extricate myself." Your eyes lit up. "Bruce Banner? Bruce Banner is here?" Loki raised a brow. "Yes. He's here to learn of our technology and to grant us some of his." "Why didn't you tell me?" You turned your head toward New Asgard, peering down the road, as if you could see him from here. "Why is it of such keen interest?" "It's Bruce Banner! A world-renown scientist! The Hulk!" You eyes were still fixed down the road. Loki frowned. "Need I remind you that you dine with gods on a regular basis?" You waved dismissively. "Exactly, you're old news." He narrowed his eyes. "You shouldn't test me today, little bird. Soon we will be isolated on a mountaintop, alone in the darkness, far from help." He pulled you in close. "I'll have you completely at my mercy." You bit your lip and grinned with a new excitement in your eyes. "You promise?" He chuckled, his nose grazing yours. "I would say I should teach you a lesson but something tells me you would be too willing a student."

You laughed as he released you, then turned back to the provisions you were organizing. "How long is Banner here?" "A few days, at least." "Great, we can have him for dinner tomorrow." He sighed. "Must we?" You smirked. "Aw, are you still sore from that time he beat you up?" You offered him a mocking pout. "Show me where it hurts." Loki sulked. "My pride, mostly." "Well, that's ideal. You've got plenty of that to spare." You straightened and swung a pack over your shoulder. "No reason why we can't be social." Loki folded his arms and leaned against the post of your porch. "Perhaps I simply prefer not to?" "Oh, don't worry." The mocking tone had returned to your voice. "It's just a little dinner. I promise I won't let the big scary monster get you." Loki glared. "One day, you will reach the edge of my patience." You grinned. "Not today? I'll keep looking for it." You gave him a conciliatory peck on the cheek. "Now magic up these supplies so we can hit the trail." "Your mortal frailty is the only reason I tolerate this treatment." Loki begrudgingly waved a hand and vanished the items, then followed you down the road to the trailhead.

The climb felt different this time. It felt almost clandestine with just the two of you. As if Loki was sneaking away from all of his troubles. Like you were leading him to a paradise where they didn't exist. The hike was easy, with light spirits and laughter.

You grew quiet as you reached the end, and stopped altogether before stepping out onto the terrace. You stood for a moment, looking out onto the outcrop, and it occurred to Loki that this would almost certainly be your first time here without Ash. He reached down and to your hand in his. After a moment you sighed, squeezed his hand, and managed a slight smile as you looked up at him. "Come on, let's go make camp."

After a brief stop to admire the view, the both of you set to work. You pitched the tent, Loki gathered firewood, though not nearly as much would be needed this time. Spring was waning and the nights were growing warmer. Dinner was cooked and shared, and afterward Loki found himself seated on the ground, his back against a boulder near the fire. You were stretched in front of him, with your back to his chest, your head resting back against him. His arms wrapped around you and in turn your arms held his. The two of you gazed out over the landscape, which was bathed in gold and shadow as the sun began its descent. A few quiet words were shared but it seemed agreed upon that this moment was meant to simply be absorbed.

Sequestered away here with you, this was exactly the peace Loki had craved. He wanted to tell you about his dream. He wanted you to know that for him the majesty of this place was intrinsically tied to you, so much so that when he was longing for you this is where his mind brought him in his sleep. It felt like something you should know.

Before he could find where to start, you raised a hand toward the horizon. "Hey look, your star is out." The sun had begun its retreat in earnest, and the first stars were making their appearances. Just above the horizon was the one you were pointing out. "Our star." He corrected. You turned your face toward him, a brow raised. "Our star?" He nodded. "You told me it was named 'Lokabrenna', correct? My burning?" You looked back to the horizon, as if the star could explain. "Yes, that's right." "Then it is our star." He assured, leaning forward to graze his lips against the shell of your ear. "For I burn for you." You turned to him again with a wild affection in your eyes, which he could only appreciate for a moment before you pulled him to you and kissed him with a fervor that was unexpected but immediately reciprocated.

Loki felt the rise of familiar flames.

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[those-late-night-feels]

Letters

Part 3

Summary: Writing everything down should help you process your feelings. Somehow it always turns into letters to him.

Warnings: Grief, angst, eventual smut.

Feb. 23

Time since you've left doesn't pass like it used to. I find myself staring out, my vision blurred at moments–grains of sand, waves crashing in, the starry night sky–spans of seconds and hours feel the same. Everything now overlaps, past with present, like a palimpsest, everywhere I look traces of you remain. You're like a ghost that haunts me and I ache for one of those visions to be real.

Are you still out there, somewhere in the vastness in front of me? I've heard the stories of your multiple deaths, only to come back again somehow. Is this another trick? Sometimes I feel like I'm going insane.

Fingertips drew lines in the sand, making patterns that would soon wash away with the tide. The cool breeze was welcomed as the sun dipped into the horizon, waiting until you could count the stars again, search for a planet (maybe two). He once told you how many different planets he had been to in his lifetime, at the time you were only half listening while studying for a mission. Did he say 200? Or was it closer to three?

As the sun's last rays passed below the curvature of the earth and the stars began to appear, it brought you back to your last mission with him. The Quinjet flew in stealth mode at dusk, and the team would arrive in Lichtenstein by nightfall.

The mission would take a few days, first surveillance and then infiltration. A hotel room was booked for you and Loki under the cover of a traveling couple.

It was cold when you arrived, the wind biting through your layers. Loki had changed appearances, donning a dark cropped haircut and a pristine suit. When he emerged from the Quinjet, he held his arm out. "Ready darling?"

Tucking a red strand of hair from the wig you wore behind your ear, you took his arm. A private car waited on the tarmac to take you to the hotel where you'd set up surveillance.

The hotel room was large, a living area, kitchenette, and a luscious separate bedroom adorned with fluffy pillows and blush roses. Sleeping arrangements ignored, you focused on setting up the surveillance, preparing for the long night ahead.

Time passed by slowly while watching with long lenses from the window, earpieces to pick up anything unusual. Loki stretched in the hard wooden chair, exasperated. "This is it, this is how I'm going to die."

You side eyed him from the surveillance lense. So dramatic. "Is this work below the means of a god?"

"I thought when they requested my skills, it would be for fighting and deception. Not whatever this is," he said, waving his hand in front of the window. "Please, regale me with tales of your life. Anything would be livelier than this!"

"I'm flattered you think my life story would be slightly less dull than this. But, I thought you already knew everything when you invaded my mind…" you said flatly, pausing to listen in on your headphones and take notes.

He pursed his lips and studied you. Adorable, trying to ignore him.

"Despite what you think, I barely touched the surface." He propped his legs up on the table in a flourish, head cradled in his hands. "Please, how is it that you've never allowed a man or woman to experience you so intimately? Do you…not have that desire?"

The clicking of keystrokes on the laptop were the only sound for a moment, focusing on a steady breath as your cheeks warmed. He wouldn't get the satisfaction of making you cringe, pressing your tongue to the roof of your mouth. "I doubt you would understand," you said flatly.

His lips turned up in amusement, it was evident without even looking up. "Because I'm a god? Or because I'm ravishing?"

The look you gave him was less annoyed, more matter of fact. "Because I haven't found anyone that matters enough."

There was no snarky comeback, no witty retort. Had you finally silenced him for the night? You turned back to the work and attempted to focus again, the hairs on your arm standing up as you felt his stare heavy upon you.

Did you have desires…what kind of question was that? Of course you had them. But it was hard to hold onto them when everyone either disappointed you or left. Your heart was secured in an impenetrable fortress. For your own protection.

It was hours into the night when exhaustion started to weigh in, fighting the oncoming yawns and eye strain. Loki watched as you rubbed your eyes, trying to shake the need for rest. "Go lie down for a bit," he offered. "I can handle this for a few hours."

He noticed the hesitation. This mission was your baby. It was important. You continued to type up notes, another yawn, eyes straining. Your fingers stilled when the warmth of his palm rested on your wrist. He wasn't one to touch you often, and the sudden contact was a jolt to your senses.

"You need your energy for tomorrow." He spoke your name and your eyes traveled from where his hand stilled, up to his own eyes lingering above. The silence was palpable. Swallowing, you nodded and stood, only allowing an inch of space in front of him. His questioning gaze turned your stomach in knots and a nervous, tired smile crept up your face, giving a quiet thanks and slinking past him to the bedroom alone.

March 9

When it's dark and quiet and the world is still, my thoughts drift to you. It reminds me of that first night in Lichtenstein, laying in bed and you just on the other side of the closed door. Did you think about coming in that night?

I wasn't lying when I told you I hadn't found anyone that mattered enough. But I also hadn't felt someone look at me like you did. My body reacted in a way that wasn't normal. It made me confused. Uncomfortable. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little disappointed when you didn't come in that night. Instead, I was invaded by sunlight in the morning, well rested and ready for the green light to infiltrate that night.

It was a black tie event, which you took to with ease in a sharp suit and slicked hair. Even though you could dress with the flick of the wrist, you fiddled with your cufflinks when I emerged from the room, pausing to give a very obvious one-over.

And when I twirled around and asked what you thought, you gave me one word. "Ravishing." The choice of word wasn't lost on me.

Loki had turned, moving with a determined pace like a wild animal in hunt of prey. Frozen in place, his abrupt movement left you transfixed.

The crackling on your earpiece made you jump and Loki stilled, close enough to feel him near you, but not enough that he would step back. "Alright team," the voice in your earpiece said. "We are T-minus 30 for all positions in place. Do you copy? Over."

You quickly reached to your earpiece and copied, like a child being caught with their hand in the cookie jar. But Loki was much slower, enjoying how you almost squirmed under his gaze. "Copy," he said, his eyes never breaking yours, then to you, "Are you ready to play?"

The event, a charity ball for high profile elites and government officials, was held in a 13th century castle overlooking a lake. Ancient stone walls, moss covered bridges, candle lit chandeliers–if you weren't on a mission, you'd think this was quite a romantic night.

The mission was complex–accessing an official's credentials via their fingerprint and facial recognition, Loki would need to get in close to the subject before he'd be able to use his magic to mimic. After bypassing security, you'd access a main database on the locations of children who were kidnapped and currently being prodded and tested into becoming super soldiers.

A glass of red wine held, you mingled through the crowd with Loki by your side, speaking under your breath before taking a sip. "Mr. X just rounded the corner of the north pillar. You have your eyes on him?"

"On him. Give me two minutes."

You resisted the urge to comment on the amount of time he needed, it was too obvious. Taking a last sip of wine, you slipped through the crowd, down a hallway as Loki spoke into your earpiece. "Got it. Ready?"

You turned a corner and there he was, no longer Loki, but Mr. X, leading the way to an upper room, the door secured by an intricate security system that he unlocked swiftly with a retina and fingerprint scanner. Inside was a vault. You methodically turned the dial, listening to the clicks of the internal locking system. When a portal door emerged, Loki pulled a key from his pocket dimension and presented it to you. "Would you like to do the honors?"

The key slipped in, turning until the door released. Your heart palpitated when the door opened, knowing you were one step closer. Loki grabbed the flash drives, the hard drives, the papers, stuffed into the inside breast jacket pocket. It was difficult to hide your smile, that feeling of accomplishment, and then your attention pulled toward the shouts and footfalls coming toward you.

"Shit," you mumbled, feeling naked without your katana by your side, but it was hard to hide a 28 inch blade within the form hugging dress.

Rushing out of the vault, you followed behind as Loki turned to the left away from the commotion, trying every door down the hall, but they were all locked. Another corner, another hallway, down a stairwell, through the door and back to the crowded party. Your steps slowed while weaving through the crowd, keeping a low profile.

You grabbed a champagne flute, he grabbed your hand, going deeper into the room. He spun you to face him, pulled your hand up to his neck. The abrupt action startled you and he gave an entertained smirk.

"Smile darling, we're putting on a show," he whispered in your ear. Your lips turned up as your pulse raced. "Now, glance behind me and tell me how many there are."

You gave him the details, ten in all that you could spot and their exact locations. The two of you could handle them all fairly well, but any weapons they had might make it more difficult for you.

"Alright," he whispered, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. "I want you to take this and head to the entrance. I'll be right behind you. If I notice you are drawing any attention, I'll divert them." He placed the smaller flashdrive in your palm and nudged you away. Head down, heart pounding, you counted the steps toward the exit. You could make it in two minutes. Right, left, right, left. Your eyes went up to two security guards on your right, neither looking at you. It was working, you'd be able to slip by. Sixty seconds. A security guard leaned to listen into their shouldered mic, and then his eyes looked up directly at you. You bent your head back down, turning slightly to glance behind you. Where did he go?

The security guard took a step forward in your direction at a determined pace. And then, behind you, commotion, a glass breaking, a woman screaming, the security guard running right past you, and you were 30 seconds to the exit. You'd make it out. Loki would be fine, he was a god you reminded yourself, he could take care of himself. And yet–fifteen seconds–you turned back and saw him fighting so many of them all at once. You had not been trained to slink away in the shadows to leave a teammate behind, it wasn't who you were.

Loki had dragged the flight out to the balcony overlooking the vast icy lake. He'd pulled his daggers from his pocket dimension, a wicked smile on his face as he fought off the pathetic mortals. They were no match for him. But behind him, you saw one with a baton and a taser at the end. Turn around Loki, watch your back. He was too focused on the three in front of him. Your legs took action before your brain could process, sprinting outside. Lurching at the larger man in a moment and wrapping your legs around his neck, he flipped to the ground with a hard thud. Loki turned to see you hit the ground, his jaw clenched. "What? I can't let you have all the fun."

He grasped you by the arm to help you up. "I recall telling you to go."

You grabbed the baton from the downed man and smiled up at Loki. "Guess I'm a bad listener."

He huffed, turning to fight two men in front of him, while you used the baton like your katana, knocking three men out while Loki easily handled himself, and you smiled to yourself. For some reason you and he made a good team.

Loki turned, feeling your eyes on him, and then a look of panic washed over him as Mr. X stood behind you, gun pointing at your head.

"Enough of this! Drop your weapons." His voice was authoritative. "Now!"

You dropped the baton, giving a small nod to Loki as the daggers clattered to the ground. "On your knees."

Loki rolled his eyes in annoyance, a guard shoving him to the ground. "You too little missy."

Hands by your head, you turned slightly to look back at the man holding the pistol at your temple, sizing him up. He was tall and wiry, he knew how to handle a gun, but not as well as you. In seconds, your hands were on his, first making him drop the gun to the ground, second to flip your body onto his. His balance lost in the surprise commotion, he flailed in an attempt to get you off of him, going toward the balcony railing to fling you off. But if you were going over, he was coming with you. The last thing you heard before your body hit the icy waters below was your name from Loki's lips.

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[use-your-telescope]

When Everything's Made to be Broken - Chapter 16: We Don't Know What We're Doing

Summary: Amidst the day to day, Theo and Loki continue to learn new things about each other, including some interesting details about how they view relationships.

Author’s Note: First, I am so sorry this is so late!! I had planned to post on the 28th, but I ended up having some (good) things come up that took up my weekend and meant I didn’t have time to get this to a point I felt was ready to post. I foolishly thought I could have it ready by Tuesday, then by Friday, then Sunday, then accepted my fate and admitted I just wouldn’t have time until this weekend to get this chapter wrapped up and posted (shoutout to a work trip last weekend for making this take an extra week!) I shared a note about the delay on tumblr, but figured I’d share it here so I’m covering my bases.

That being said, spring is a crazy time for me work-wise, plus I’m finishing my second master’s degree this semester (after a two year hiatus!), so this will probably not be the only time things get a bit delayed. I’m pretty sure I will have the next chapter ready for next Sunday (the 24th), but the week after that has some work stuff going on, which means the following chapter would be posted on March 9th. Anyways, thanks for your patience, and hope you enjoy <3 reblogs are always appreciated, and lmk if you want to be added to tag list!

Word Count: 6,789

Song: Amateur Lovers - Switchfoot (Bonus Song: Passing Through A Screen Door - The Wonder Years)

Everyone I know Needs love like drugs Like a common cold We could never shrug My baby and me We're missing the same stuff We've all got a disease Deficiency of love Every day we still try Every night we still cry Driving home on the 805

Months after Theo first promised Loki that she would hang out with the other Avengers, she could not deny the truth: Loki, the little shit, was right.

Unintentionally agreeing to “family night” opened the floodgates of invitations to hang out, and other than the period of time where everyone’s moods plummeted from the string of unpleasant anniversaries, Theo found herself becoming more and more fond of the colorful collection of superheroes that she lived with, and it seemed like they accepted her with open arms.

Even worse, Loki was right and he knew it.

Every time Theo caught him watching as Wanda braided her hair or Yelena talked her into trying (and absolutely sucking at) Call of Duty, Loki cocked an eyebrow and shot Theo the most smug, self-satisfied smirk. When he wandered into the lab and stumbled upon Theo and Helen working on new medical technology with Bruce and Shuri, a downright devious glint flashed in his jade eyes, and his jaw flexed as if he bit back some snarky comment about Theo’s voluntary presence. When they went out as a team and it came to light that Natasha had done Theo’s makeup, Loki bit his lower lip to stifle a snicker. 

On that night, Theo had just finished up working in the emergency department; after showering and changing into an old set of Duke sweatpants and a shirt she stole from Chris the last time she stayed at his apartment, Theo made her way out to the living room with a book in hand.

The sight that greeted her was one she often found at the end of the day: Sam, Bucky, Yelena, Natasha, and Steve sprawled out on some of the more comfortable seating options, clad in sweatpants and worn t-shirts after what was likely a long day of training and briefings. A video game that Theo vaguely recognized, but not enough to identify, broadcast itself from the television screen, displaying a mix of desolate space-esque scenarios and scifi combat. 

Sam sat on the edge of the couch cushions, leaned in towards the television screen with a video game controller clutched in both hands, focusing so intently on the screen that he stuck a bit of his tongue out as he mashed buttons on the controller. 

On another couch sat Yelena and Natasha, with Bucky sandwiched between the two widows. Yelena and Bucky alternated between shoving fistfuls of popcorn into their mouths and shouting at the television as an explosion flashed on the screen, while Natasha sat with her legs curled up under her, sipping a glass of merlot as she occasionally teased Sam about dying in the game.

“Theo, hey,” Steve waved from the other side of the living room, where he stretched across on the couch with sock-covered feet propped up on the coffee table. 

“Hey,” Theo waved as she took her usual seat, curling into the corner of the couch. “So, which game is this?”

“Halo–” Yelena replied between mouthfuls of popcorn, “— Genetically enhanced super soldiers fighting aliens.”

“I thought the point of playing video games was to take a break from reality…” Theo glanced around the room. “How is ‘genetically enhanced super soldiers fighting aliens’ any different from what we already do?” 

“It’s fictional.” Yelena shrugged, despite the knowing grin she wore.

“Hey, bird brain, don’t you have something to ask Theo?” Bucky threw a piece of popcorn at Sam, bouncing a fluffy kernel off Sam’s head; Sam scowled, but kept his eyes on the screen.

“Ask me what?” Theo glanced between the others expectantly, her pulse quickening ever so slightly. 

They must have been talking about her… But why? 

“Fuck! I was so close!” Sam groaned as a message flashed across the television screen stating his team lost. He tossed the controller at Bucky, who effortlessly caught it in his non-vibranium hand. “You try.”

“Is anyone going to tell me what I’m supposed to be asked about?” Theo repeated, her chest tightening as she tried to guess what they wanted. She couldn’t think of anything that she did recently to raise any suspicions, and the way Bucky brought it up made it sound like it wasn’t anything serious…

“Dammit Buck, I was gonna ask her when it was just the two of us.” Sam glared at Bucky, who was too busy setting up the next round of whatever shooting game they had decided on for that night.

“Okay, now I’m just getting nervous.” Theo tried to laugh it off, but it didn’t do much to cover up her ballooning nerves.

“Nah, don’t be - I just need advice… ” Sam rubbed his face with both hands, conveniently hiding any clues Theo might have gathered from his expression. “... Dating advice.”

“Dating advice?” Theo’s brows shot skyward as she echoed Sam’s message back to him. 

“Yeah. There’s a hot doc that you work with, and I want to see if she’s interested.”

Well, that certainly changed things.

Theo struggled to keep her cool, cheeks and jaw tensing to prevent a grin from curling up her lips... 

.. What were the odds that Sam shared Julie’s crush?

“Thing is, the only way I ever run into her is when I need to get patched up —“ Sam continued, “— not exactly great for getting to know each other...”

“… So you want my help getting close to her?” Theo ventured, her mind running wild with possibilities. “Who is it?!”

“Oh hell no, I’m not telling!” Sam laughed sheepishly, “Not until I know if she’s interested too!”

“How can I help if I don’t know who it is?” Theo pointed out, “it’s not like all doctors are the same! What works for Julie won’t work for Helen!” 

If Theo didn’t know any better, she swore she saw Sam’s cheeks flush at Julie’s name; then again, that might have been in her head.

“Watch him when he’s in the ER,” Bucky commented, not missing a beat even as all of his attention seemed focused on the video game. “You'll know in two seconds.”

“As much as I don’t want you to need to go to the ER, now I’m curious - maybe we can beat you up a bit during training so you need to pay a visit.” Theo teased, smirking at Sam. Yelena laughed, offering to beat him up, while Natasha and Steve exchanged knowing glances.

“Not you too–” Sam groaned, before pointing at Yelena and Bucky. “ – that’s the same thing these assholes recommended!” 

“Because it’s good advice!” Yelena huffed, crossing her arms. “You want to see her? That’s how!” 

“Oh come on, you really think that’s my advice?! I’m not that terrible,” Theo scoffed, feigning offense. “My first piece of advice would be to talk to her and see what she likes outside of work, then figure out a way to ask her to hang out and do something she enjoys. But unless you tell me who it is, you’re going to need to work up the courage to stop by the ED specifically to talk to her, or you’ll have to wait until you actually have a reason to get patched up.”

Sam let out a sharp breath, shoulders slumping as he narrowed his eyes at Theo. “And if I tell you?”

“Maybe I can help — invite them over when we do a movie night or something,” Theo offered, this time not bothering to hide her smile. After all, Theo was not above a quid pro quo - she gets to satisfy her curiosity, and Sam gets a chance to talk to whoever he’s crushing on. Win-win, really.

Sam narrowed his eyes at Theo. “… Let me think about it.” 

Theo stood up and stretched her arms overhead; since it seemed like Sam had put an end to the conversation, it was as good of a moment as any to step away for a moment and get herself some water. As she sauntered towards the kitchen, she called over her shoulder: “Your choice, but it doesn’t have to be hard!”

Conversation continued among the others as Theo entered the kitchen, voices laughing and chattering over each other so Theo couldn’t make out what anyone said. 

Theo moved on autopilot as she found a glass and added some ice from the freezer, mind spinning as she tried to recall any details from past interactions that would help her figure out which of her colleagues caught Sam’s eye. Even as she moved to the sink to fill her glass, her thoughts remained so occupied with the new mystery that she barely paid her surroundings any mind.

“You feared the Avengers would never trust you, yet Wilson trusts you enough to seek your guidance in matters of the heart; I dare say that your concerns were unfounded.” A low voice spoke from just behind Theo — a smooth baritone that she recognized anywhere, even if it startled her so badly that she dropped her glass and nearly jumped through the ceiling from shock.

A flash of emerald shot forth. Loki caught the glass just before it clattered into the sink, all the while failing to stifle his laughter at the string of curses that fell from Theo’s mouth.

“Can’t you just say hi like a normal person?!” Theo pressed one hand to her heart in a feeble attempt to settle her racing heart, all the while glaring at Loki.

“When such amusement is a possibility? Absolutely not.” Loki grinned, offering Theo her water glass. She snatched it from him, taking a quick drink of water before turning back to the sink and topping it off.

For a moment, Theo considered finding some way to fuck with Loki so he couldn’t gloat so much, but after Loki had a difficult month (between the shitty anniversaries and Thor nearly dying, calling it difficult was probably an understatement), Loki needed the chance to loosen up and laugh. Besides, he was the first friend Theo made when she moved into the tower, and even if she wouldn’t admit it outright, Theo was grateful that Loki had been right. 

So, she simply rolled her eyes and smiled. 

“You’ve not responded to my original comment,” Loki pointed out, smug satisfaction dancing in his tone.

“Sam’s interested in one of my colleagues,” Theo attempted to brush off Loki’s observation, her cheeks burning as they undoubtedly flushed.

“I heard…” Loki leaned back against the kitchen counter, a lazy smile dangling on his lips as he looked at Theo. “Still, he trusts you.”

“Not enough to tell me who it is,” Theo grumbled,  setting her water glass on the marble counter as she pretended to pout so she could cross her arms. “How long were you lurking there?”

“Long enough,” Loki simply shrugged, eyes twinkling from the reflection of the kitchen lights as he looked at Theo. “The exchange reminded me - are you still courting your gentleman caller?” 

Theo couldn’t stifle the snort of laughter that escaped from Loki’s unironic use of the term “gentleman caller;” she slapped both hands over her mouth, entire face now aflame with embarrassment from the ridiculous sound.

Loki tilted his head at Theo’s reaction, brows furrowed in a silent question. 

“Am I supposed to ignore the fact that you just used the term gentleman caller?” Theo finally managed, still chuckling as she repeated the term.

“Is there another term I ought to use?” Despite the neutral tone of Loki’s reply, his cheeks took on a faint shade of pink that stood out against his porcelain skin. “Or am I to presume you are no longer courting him?”

“I’m still seeing him, but I don’t think that ‘gentleman callers’ exist in modern day dating,” Theo couldn’t wipe the smile off her face from hearing the term in daily conversation. “Feminism and all that.”

“Ah, yes, forgive me.” The flush on Loki’s cheeks grew more noticeable. “Nonetheless, you are still courting him?”

“Yeah,” Theo nodded. “Why?”

“You’ve not spoken of him in quite some time.” Loki shrugged; the gesture looked like an attempt to be nonchalant, which matched his tone, but something about the movement seemed a bit… forced.

“You were busy supporting Thor, and I was busy supporting you, so it didn’t seem like the thing to discuss at the time.” Theo offered a sheepish smile as she explained her reasoning. “Besides, it’s nothing serious.”

In response, Loki leaned away ever-so-slightly, narrowing his eyes with a slight frown as he studied Theo.

“What?” Theo tensed as heart quickened in her chest, confused by Loki’s reaction.

“Midgardians often speak of love at first sight; after quite some time, your feelings for the actor seem ambivalent at best, yet you continue to court him,” Loki remarked slowly, continuing to look at her with a perplexed expression. “It’s rather odd.”

Odd - with a silent sigh of relief, Theo relaxed, her shoulders dropping ever so slightly. 

“I don’t believe in love at first sight – that’s lust,” Theo winked, shaking her head. “We’re just having fun and enjoying each other’s company, that’s all.”

“I see,” with a nod, Loki hummed to himself. “Do you foresee the relationship turning into something greater?”

“I don’t know,” Theo shrugged. “Never gave it much thought, if I’m honest.”

As she answered the question, a thought occurred to her: Loki asked about her dating life, but Theo never asked about his… 

“Speaking of dating, did I see you bring someone up to your suite after Stark’s fundraiser a few months back?” Theo cocked a brow at him, a sly grin spread over her face. “What’s going on there?”

“Rest assured, I’ve not kept any partners from you,” Loki replied with a smirk of his own. “I am… not one for attachment, shall we say.”

“So she was a booty call?” Theo giggled, earning a venomously dirty look from Loki. “Well, what would you call it?”

“I prefer to have companions for a single evening,” Loki dryly answered, a pale pink blush returning to his cheeks. “It’s less complicated that way.”

“Is that so?” Theo teased, her grin widening to the point that her cheeks hurt as Loki’s blush grew brighter.

“Yes –” Loki’s explanation took on an edge of defensiveness as his expression teetered on the verge of a scowl.  “It’s not as uncommon as you might think, particularly among our peers.”

Theo barely managed to keep a straight face, all-too-amused by how quickly Loki became flustered.

“Civilians do not understand the nature of our roles, so relationships that are not between two agents or established prior to one becoming an Avenger are practically doomed from the start,”  Loki continued. “Having seen the effect of those failed relationships on others, I have chosen to refrain from courting anyone.”

Theo’s stomach lurched at the observation, her prior amusement vanishing in an instant. She quickly grabbed her water glass, taking a long sip of chilled liquid to ground herself before the implications could make her spiral.

“That being said, physical desire is a near-universal experience, or a need, if you will—” If Theo’s expression shifted, Loki must not have noticed; the usual glint of something clever returned to his eye, as did a wry smirk. “—And sometimes our needs… Well… They need to be satiated.”

“Can’t fault you there.” Theo covered up her discomfort from Loki’s earlier comment with a smirk and a wink of her own. She started towards the living room, glancing back at Loki over her shoulder. “Some of us are hanging out in the living room. You want to join?”

Loki nodded, pressing away from the counter and following Theo into the living room. 

Amidst a chorus of greetings directed at Loki, Theo took her usual seat, but this time stretched her legs out across the cushions so there wasn’t room for anyone else to sit. She looked up and grinned at Loki, who stood in front of the couch like he was about to take his usual place beside her.

With narrowed eyes flitting between the seat and Theo, Loki arched one brow in a silent challenge. Theo simply widened her grin, curious to see what would follow.

To Theo’s surprise, Loki didn’t say anything; instead, he picked up both of Theo’s legs, moving them out of the way so he could sit down; once he settled into his seat, he placed both of Theo’s feet on his lap, as a result returning Theo to her initial position. He capped off the response by flashing an impish grin at Theo, a sort of silent taunt - “you thought you could try me? Foolish mortal.” 

Other than a suspicious glance exchanged between the widows, it didn’t seem like anyone even noticed the exchange between Loki and Theo.

Despite Theo’s playful behavior, Loki’s comment about relationships doomed from the start lurked in the dark recesses of her mind, no matter how hard she tried to ignore it. Even as she forced herself to pay attention while Sam and Bucky explained the rules of the particular type of Halo match they selected for the evening, Theo couldn’t shake the vague uneasiness that the comment initially instilled within her. 

A good night text from Chris, something which usually made Theo’s heart flutter in her chest, instead filled her with dread. However, Theo kept her discomfort close to her chest, acting like nothing was amiss as she replied to Chris, wishing him a good night. When Theo returned her attention back to her friends, she tucked her concern away behind carefully crafted smiles and quick-witted comments with such practiced ease that it should have been concerning. 

Only when she had retreated to the privacy of her suite, after turning out the lights and tucking herself beneath her thick, plush comforter, did she allow the matter to crawl out from the shadows and capture her attention. 

When Theo accepted the offer to go on a date, she hadn’t even considered that the difference in careers/experiences would influence their relationship, or the special considerations that she needed to make. Given her career as a doctor, she was used to missing holidays, birthdays, and special occasions because of work. Chris had, up to that point, seemed perfectly fine with that. With healthcare privacy laws, it wasn’t odd for Theo to avoid talking about work with other people, and that naturally flowed into her relationships, another thing that Chris never seemed to mind. He didn’t care that she never brought him up to her suite, and that they always stayed at his apartment. 

Maybe she was overthinking it - they never said anything about getting serious. Besides, she didn’t know the circumstances of the failed relationships that Loki referred to. Other factors could have impacted those relationships. 

Still, the idea of Chris inevitably being hurt because of Theo’s lack of foresight left a bitter taste in her mouth. The last thing Theo needed was to hurt anyone else, but time and time again she made the same mistakes, and innocent people were caught in the crossfire.

Staring up at her ceiling, Theo drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. Up until that night, she had no reason to worry about the future with Chris. He hadn’t made any indication that he wanted to pursue a long-term relationship. At that point, they were more of a situationship than anything - they didn’t change their lives for each other, they simply saw each other when it was convenient. That was okay. Theo was fine with that. 

Hopefully Chris was alright with that as well.

You tried to play it down But it never stuck I tried to bail this town I'm getting no such luck, yeah When nobody's around I keep my eyes on the clock There ain't a cure I've found In all my times around this block Every day we still try Every night we still cry We’re driving home on the 405

Between the overly loud sounds that Midgardians called music, the throngs of sweaty people, and the sharp stench of alcohol, Loki vehemently regretted allowing Maximoff to convince him to partake in this particular outing.

One of the local bars, the Hi-Lo, hosted an event they decided to call “Emo Night.” Maximoff’s explanation of “Emo Night” conveniently omitted that the “music” was far too loud and the quality of “singing” was questionable at best. Quite frankly, the quality of the scratchy, sometimes guttural noise could hardly be classified as singing, yet the people around them “danced” all the same - that was, if one could call shoving each other about in a sweaty horde dancing. 

Theo informed him the correct term was “moshing,” but Loki felt “barbaric stumbling” would be more appropriate. 

Some of their entourage seemed right at home. After freeing himself from the Winter Soldier’s programming, Barnes had grown fond of the loud and angsty racket. Maximoff had a penchant for live music, though this escapade made Loki question how the Scarlet Witch defined music. Though Wilson did not seem invested in the performance, he seemed quite comfortable with the strange cacophony – particularly strange given his typically warm and straightforward nature. 

Others, however, shared a response akin to Loki’s. Rogers hung back near the bar, nursing a bottle of beer with ear plugs in as he watched the scene unfold with an openly perplexed expression. Romanoff sat on a bar stool beside him, maintaining her usually neutral expression while drinking some sort of dark-colored cocktail from a cheap plastic cup. Despite shifting his appearance to look human, any passerby could have concluded that Vision’s presence in the midst of the drunken chaos was not natural. Amidst a sea of dark, casual clothing, Vision wore a pastel blue sweater and well-tailored pants. The android’s complexion lacked the flush of alcohol and the sweat from ‘moshing;’ combined with his lack of movement and mild expression, only emphasized the utterly strange nature of the event. Had it not been for Maximoff’s presence in the crowd, the android would undoubtedly have chosen a different location from which to observe the spectacle.

Until that evening, Loki assumed Theo would not be at home in such a ruckus - though she had performed in similar venues prior to becoming an Avenger, her musical prowess seemed far more advanced than this drivel. 

Yet, to Loki’s shock (and concern), Theo also claimed to be a fan of the so-called music; though she initially stood beside Loki as the so-called band performed, after bobbing her head to a couple of songs she disappeared into the sea of people as they jumped and screamed incomprehensible lyrics off-key.  

Left by himself in what might have been his personal hell, Loki cursed Theo for abandoning him, only to chastise himself for such a thought; after all, Theo had attempted to warn Loki of what he would experience. 

Earlier that afternoon, when Maximoff said “You’ll love it Lokes,” to which Loki rolled his eyes — it didn’t matter how many times he told Maximoff, she insisted on calling him Lokes — Theo couldn’t hold back the snort as she countered, “Given your thoughts on Tony’s music, you’ll probably hate it. But hey, you’ll probably enjoy the people watching.” 

Theo was not to blame for Loki’s current predicament; if anything, the only person Loki could truly blame was himself. After all, he was the one who accepted the invitation. 

The sound of distorted guitar shook the walls, his shoes stuck to the floor, and he couldn’t tell if he smelled stale beer or body odor - or both - but the scent was utterly repulsive. There were far too many people packed into such a small place, and they were drunken imbeciles. Even if he wanted to people-watch, it was too chaotic to tell what was going on. With the unnecessarily loud noise coming from the stage, a conversation would be near-impossible, no matter where he stood.

Then again, now that he was alone and everyone else was distracted by other things, no one would miss him if he left. Loki glanced over his shoulder at the exit, debating whether or not he should attempt to slip away at that moment, or wait until a break between songs.

The collision of another person bumping against Loki’s hip interrupted Loki’s train of thought. He whipped around, ready to unleash a series of insults at whoever dared to run into him, only to find Theo standing before him with two identical plastic cups in hand, both filled with a dark liquid similar to what Romanoff drank. The insults died on Loki’s tongue as she offered him one plastic cup, glancing down at the cup and then back at Loki before mouthing “for you.”

Loki lifted the cup and sniffed the drink; the saccharine scent of Midgardian soda intertwined with a spicy, sharp scent akin to some sort of Midgardian alcohol filled his nose, which he quite preferred to the establishment’s fetid aroma. However, Midgardian liquor would not be enough to dull his senses and render the evening tolerable; a tense chuckle – hardly more than a puff of air – escaped him at the thought.

When he looked back at Theo, her previously free hand now dangled a steel flask between two fingers for Loki to see, as if she could read his mind.

“Spiked with Thor’s whiskey,” Theo called out over the music, “You look like you need it.”

Loki rolled his eyes, schooling the discomfort from his face as he took a swallow of the beverage. 

As if the Norns recognized Loki’s frustration from the inability to converse, the ending of the next song brought a short break in the music - just long enough for the performers to switch instruments - after a relentless barrage of sensory overload, the lack of screeching instruments filling the air was a blessed reprieve. 

“Honestly, how can anyone enjoy such nonsense?” Loki leaned in towards Theo, still forced to raise his voice in order to be heard over the hollering from the inebriated audience. “It’s horrendously loud, the musicians are off-key, and the technique is terrible.”

Theo failed to bite back a grin, unfazed by Loki’s ire. “It’s not about perfection, Lo.” 

“Lo?” Loki raised an eyebrow at her. 

Theo faltered, worrying her lower lip between her teeth. “That’s okay, right?”

Loki sighed. “It’s—”  tolerable, at the very least  “—fine.”

Begrudgingly, Loki suspected that there were many things he’d allow Theo to call him that he wouldn’t allow anyone other than Thor to even consider.

“It’s about the feeling behind it. It helps us deal with the bad shit, like anger and sadness —“ Theo glanced toward the stage, then back at Loki. “— Life isn’t perfect. Music shouldn’t be perfect either.”

Much to Loki’s dismay, the band’s vocalist approached the microphone and announced the start of the next song.

Theo, however, lit up, practically glowing despite the dark venue.

“Listen closely to the lyrics—“ Theo instructed (via shouting) as the first chords and the drunken ruckus of the entire venue singing off-key slammed against Loki’s ears, “this is a good example!”

Had anyone else made the request, Loki would have outright refused; however, Loki trusted Theo enough to comply, and begrudgingly put forth a concerted effort to listen closely. 

A few lines in, Theo joined in singing:

“The highway won / I’m listening to traffic reports one on one, coming quietly undone / I was born to run away from anything good / an escape artist’s son / sun drenched pavement in my blood / the first thing that I do when I walk in / is find a way out for when shit gets bad, and…”

Theo kept eye contact with Loki as she sang along; a wistful look in her eyes made Loki recall some of the emotions he’d buried from his younger years. An uncomfortable void swirled in his chest as he stood amidst what he might consider to be the first tier of his personal hell. 

Yet, the song barreled on and Loki forced himself to continue focusing on the lyrical content. Though the writing was not Shakespeare by any stretch of the imagination, the lyricism surprised Loki with its complexity and depth. References to historical events - the Cold War scares of the sixties - interlaced with references to the lingering sentiment within tragedy led to commentary around existential anxiety, loneliness, and the fear of not fulfilling one’s potential.

Loki glanced back over to Theo, who continued to watch him while singing along. She flashed a small, almost sheepish smile as the song reached its bridge:

“Jesus Christ, I’m twenty six / all the people I graduated with / all have kids, all have wives / all have people who care if they come home at night / well Jesus Christ, did I fuck up?”

Even in the poor lighting, Loki caught a glimpse of something painful behind Theo’s expression as she uttered the phrase ‘did I fuck up?’ The expression, however, was fleeting, replaced with a different sort of intensity as Theo locked eyes with Loki for the final chorus:

“I've been looking for tears in the screen door / and I’ve been waiting for another disaster / but I was kinda hoping you’d stay / I was kinda hoping you’d stay / I was kinda hoping you’d… stay.”

Though the song concluded, neither sorcerer made any effort to look away; something unspoken and inexplicable held them in place, frozen in a moment despite the chaos and discord of their surroundings…

… Until said chaos and discord quite literally crashed into them. 

Some drunken oaf had been shoved from the crowd and into Theo’s side, knocking her off balance. Theo let out a shriek of surprise as she stumbled forward in an attempt to not crash into Loki or spill her drink.

Without a second thought, Loki practically dove to catch her before the horde could trample her in their ‘moshing,’ even though it made his drink splash out of the cup in the process. Ignoring the liquid dripping off his other hand, he hoisted Theo up by her elbow and pulled her into his chest to steady her, at least until she regained her footing. 

Yet, when he felt her weight lift, he hesitated to let go.

“Are you alright?” Loki leaned down, close enough that his cheek brushed against Theo’s temple as he spoke into her ear. 

“Yeah, I’m good.” Theo tilted her head back, the soft skin of her nose brushing against the crook of Loki’s jaw as she replied; the sensation sent a pleasant chill down Loki’s spine. “Thanks!”

Theo stepped back, and Loki forced himself to let go; though they met each other’s gaze again, this time neither of them allowed the moment to last. 

Stifled by the sheer volume of the music, the only conversation between Loki and Theo until the end of the event consisted passing comments from time to time - Theo sharing thoughts on a particular song, Loki offering to bring Theo a refill when they both finished their drinks, or one of the pair pointing out something particularly amusing.

Between comments, Loki often caught Theo singing along, though she did so in a far more discreet manner than anyone else in the venue. Despite Loki’s best attempts to focus on Theo’s voice, the sound was lost in a swell of drums and guitars and other voices. The effort invested into trying to hear Theo successfully distracted Loki from the disdain he held for everything else about his surroundings, though it did nothing to dampen the disappointment when he could not hear her far-more-melodic voice floating through the air. 

Perhaps if Theo was the one singing them, or the one playing the songs on piano, he might enjoy them more.

After far too long, the return of overhead lighting and disappearance of musicians from the stage confirmed that the event had finally drawn to a close. Wrangling the various members of their entourage required a bit of teamwork and effort, but it was not long before the Avengers exited the establishment and felt the blessedly cool air of the city against their skin. 

It did not take long before the Avengers split into smaller groups along the sidewalk, a mixture of varied walking speeds and small conversations naturally pairing certain avengers with others. Maximioff and Barnes led the group, laughing and singing along to themselves as they stumbled along. Close behind, Vision and Wilson kept a close eye on their companions as they chatted with Romanoff and Rogers.

From the back of the group, Loki observed his surroundings while relishing the quiet of night. Quiet, of course, was relative - in a city such as New York, the bustle of traffic remained such a constant that it turned into white noise with due time. Strangers occasionally passed on the sidewalk, barely giving any of the Avengers a second glance as they ventured to mystery destinations in the night. 

Farther ahead, a beggar sat near an alleyway, his back against a dumpster so thoroughly covered in graffiti that it would have been impossible to guess its original color; as groups of people passed without paying the man any mind, Loki couldn’t help but notice the man’s resigned sadness.    

“... You survived.” The comment, clearly directed towards Loki, drew his attention from the beggar, though he did not catch the full remark. 

“Pardon?” As Loki replied, he glanced over to find Theo walking beside him, somehow managing to keep pace despite her much shorter stature.

“So, you survived Emo night,” Theo repeated with a coy grin. “How terrible was it?”

“It is certainly not how I would choose to spend my time,” Loki dryly replied. “Nor is it something I would have expected you to enjoy.”

“Thought I had more cultured taste?” Theo teased, bumping Loki’s hip with hers as they strolled along. 

“Clearly I was mistaken.” Loki chuckled and shook his head. “Tell me you do not subject your actor to such nonsense…” 

“You think I can walk into a bar with him and not be swarmed?” Theo cocked a brow as she looked up at Loki. Despite the amused smirk she wore, something bittersweet lurked beneath her gaze. “Even if he could get in without drawing attention, I think the internet would drag me for bringing him to a place like that.”

“Drag you?” Loki echoed, hoping Theo might clarify what she meant by such a term.

“Chew me out. Chastise me. That sort of thing.” Theo sighed, looking ahead once more. “It’s not exactly a luxury hot spot; I’m guessing Chris’s fans would think this kind of place is beneath him.”

“What would he think?” 

“I couldn’t see him having fun, but I don’t really know,” Theo admitted with such nonchalance that it almost seemed odd. “He seems too happy to really get the appeal.” 

Loki froze in place, struck by Theo’s answer. Yes, Loki had endured hardships that others might not understand, but no one could truly exist without heartache, could they? 

Theo stopped a step ahead and glanced back at Loki. “What?” 

“I–” Loki faltered, grasping for the appropriate response. “Surely he has experienced emotions other than happiness?”

“I mean, sure?” Theo glanced ahead at the rest of the group, then back at Loki. “Look, we don’t really talk about shit like that, but I don’t think he’s ever had a bad thing happen to him. If I ever got the crazy idea to talk to him about a bad day at work, I don’t doubt that he’d listen and try to make me feel better, but I doubt he’d really understand.”

“The more you reveal about your relationship, the less I understand the appeal.” Loki shook his head and started forward once more. “I thought that Midgardians valued love for the emotional connection, and yet you seem all too content to avoid emotions in your courtship with the actor.”

“We connect in other ways.” Theo’s tone held a certain cheekiness to it, which she paired with an equally cheeky grin. “I could tell you about the se–”

“– No, I think I am quite alright –” Loki replied rather sharply, cheeks burning as he forced images of Theo in a compromising position from his mind. The last thing he needed was to linger on such inappropriate thoughts, particularly with another Avenger.

“– Hey, you were the one who said everyone has needs –” Theo pointed out, far too self-satisfied in her response, “I figured you’d get it.”

“I do not need the mundane details to understand the appeal of physical intimacy.” Loki scoffed, rolling his eyes. “I simply do not understand why you bother with the rest of the courtship if you’ve no interest in further commitment.”

Theo did not have an immediate answer; she drew in a breath as if to speak, but remained quiet. 

By that point, the pair had walked far enough that they were about to pass the beggar Loki had previously noticed; at that point, they were close enough that Loki could clearly make out the creases of age and weathered skin, as well as the faint wisps of silver where a once robust head of hair likely sat. The man’s earlier melancholy lingered in Loki’s memory, and sentiment tugged at Loki’s heartstrings, compelling him to do something. 

All it took was a twitch of Loki’s fingers to conjure some cash in hand; if nothing else, Loki figured the man could use the money for a night of shelter and a warm meal. Yet, before Loki had the chance to acknowledge the man, Theo had already greeted the man by name, then crouched down so she was at eye-level before she extended some sort of plastic card to him, saying something Loki didn't quite catch. The man, however, grinned at Theo, his smile highlighting gaps where his teeth had fallen out at some point, before thanking her for her generosity.

Dumbfounded, Loki offered a quick greeting and extended the cash, which the elderly man thanked him for, though it was not with the level of warmth that the man exuded when he spoke to Theo.

The moment they were not within earshot of the man, Loki turned to Theo. “You know him?”

“Before I was an Avenger, I played a lot of shows in this area,” Theo explained with a small shrug. “Greg used to be the janitor at one of the local bars, but since I last saw him, he had to quit because of some health problems that left him unable to work. Between the treatment and the lack of income he couldn’t pay rent and ended up on the streets. 

“I didn’t find out until a couple weeks ago, when I was walking home and I recognized him, so I stopped to talk to him and learned about what happened. I told myself that the next time I saw him, I’d put Tony’s insane bank account to use and give him enough money that he would never have to sleep on the street again, and he wouldn’t have to worry about making ends meet The card has contact info for some people who can help him with the logistics.”

“Awfully generous of you,” Loki remarked.

“Hey, you didn’t even know him, but you still gave a bit of cash too,” Theo pointed out with a soft smile. “Most people would have ignored him.”

“Yes, well, back to our previous conversation–” Uncomfortable with the direction with which Theo took his remark, Loki quickly diverted the conversation. “–You never answered my question.”

“What question?” Theo glanced at Loki as they rounded the corner, Avengers Tower stretching into the sky ahead of them.

“Why bother with a courtship if you have no intention of pursuing a serious relationship?”

 “You’re reading too much into this,” Theo laughed nervously as she shook her head. “It’s not that I refuse to be in a serious relationship - I just like to go with the flow.”

Yet, contrary to what Theo said, a familiar melancholy in Theo’s eye said otherwise - the same melancholy he caught when Theo sang, ‘the first thing that I do when I walk in is find a way out for when shit gets bad, and / I’ve been looking for tears in the screen door / and I’ve been waiting for another disaster…’

That look in Theo’s eye told Loki everything he needed to know.

We don't know what we're doing Let's do it again, yeah, you know We're just amateur lovers With amateur friends I can tell you what you're thinking now Before you think it you can settle down Our lovin' isn't gonna burn us out We don't know what we're doing Let's do it again Yeah, let's do it again

#loki #loki fanfiction #loki slow burn #loki fluff #loki fanfic #loki marvel #loki mcu #loki laufeyson #loki odinson #loki x ofc #loki x ofc fan fiction #when everything's made to be broken #wemtbb #loki angst

[loki-cees-all]

Chapter 7 - All the Tiring Time Between {TLTGYA - Post!TVA Loki x OFC Longfic}

Previous Chapter / TLTGYA Masterlist / A03 Link / Next Chapter

Pairing : Post-TVA!Loki x Oliviette (OFC)

Chapter Summary : Sometimes the sharpest boundaries require the gentlest touch.

Chapter W/c : 8.7k words

Chapter Tags / Content : Angst (as always), brief mentions of blood and injuries. Also there's a bunch of Tesseract lore and Loki's history with Thanos that I really got carried away with while writing this.

18+ Only - Minors DNI

⊱ ─ ༓ ── ⋅•⋅⊰ ─  ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ∙ ⋅  ─ ⊱⋅•⋅ ── ༓ ─ ⊰

The silence in the cell was electrifyingly tense, and Loki wished he had something else to focus his attention on. 

His jaw ached as he took another bite of the flavorless, perplexing bread that was both stale and damp at the same time. He should have been grateful for it and its distraction, despite the woman having offered it without even so much as looking at him. But it just reminded him of the year he’d spent with the Mad Titan: Wretched. Forsaken. Totally and completely hopeless. 

Loki tried desperately not to think about it, but it was getting harder to fight as his exhaustion grew. 

The woman sat across from him in the cell, her knees pulled to her chest and her expression blank. She’d said absolutely nothing after dismissing his question about Anathema the night prior, not even when the peculiar guards brought in their cruel attempt at a meal. She didn’t even flinch when they set the tray down in front of her, nor when the duo stared, cold and unmoving, presumably waiting for her to beg for her life like all the others…but she did wait until they were finally gone to pull the tray closer. 

She had grabbed the chunk of bread first, and extended it towards him in the shadows like it was second-nature to her. As if it wasn’t ever an option that she wouldn’t share it, and despite the fact that they were in stark disagreement about their respective situations in this place. 

He felt guilty for accepting the offering, but unfortunately, he felt like he had no other choice; his eyelids were growing heavier by the minute, his muscles were becoming weaker with each new day of disuse, and his nerves were perpetually fried with wary energy. He was constantly stifling another yawn, and was dangerously close to falling asleep, to having another nightmare again. 

Loki didn’t know if he ever talked in his sleep, but he didn’t want to risk revealing any compromising information about himself or his past; the less anyone knew about him here, the better off they all were. 

But other than the food she’d shared with him, there wasn’t much else for him to distract himself with. The woman wasn’t talking anymore, and her questions had faded away alongside the hope she may have once had about escaping. That left Loki to alone deal with his questions about her, and their inscrutable answers. 

The problem with that, however, was that his mind was nothing but a tangled mess; a rat’s nest, made up of lies and false memories, the betrayals of the life he’d left behind, and all the lives that never were. Before him lay a scattering of dots, all seemingly unrelated and centered around a woman who claimed she didn’t know what they wanted with her, and he couldn’t seem to make heads or tails of any of it.

Loki used to pride himself on his ability to see the bigger picture, especially on a galactic scale. But he had come here to hide and to wallow, to purposely let his mind atrophy into a cobweb of nothingness, because that was easier than continue trying, and failing, to be happy. He felt comfortable doing that, and letting this become his legacy, because he hadn’t ever expected a riddle to fall into his lap again. He hadn’t ever expected her. 

As Loki swallowed the last of the bread, he forced himself to look at her again. She was still huddled against the wall, illuminated by the dim lantern light from the hallway and shivering in the cold dungeon like a scared little child. He was flabbergasted that she was still here, that they’d bothered bringing her back after being caught during an escape attempt. And he couldn’t help but hate himself, because the old Loki could have figured out why that was a very long time ago. 

Next to her, the bowl of porridge sat on the floor, mostly untouched and definitely not enjoyed. Her expression was sullen as she stared off into the distance, and her limbs were folded around herself as she retreated deeper inward. It almost made him feel…something. 

Of what exactly, Loki wasn’t quite sure; the feeling was old and familiar, something that was long lost while never really being understood in the first place. He told himself that the feeling was irrelevant, because it was just the mystery he found equal parts infuriating and intriguing. He just needed a bit more time than usual to settle the question marks, and then he could finally return to the blissful void of apathy. 

And maybe she wasn’t lying when she claimed to not know who Anathema was, but he didn’t believe for a moment that she had no idea why the guards were so interested in her. Either she had something of theirs, or she knew some mysterious piece of information they didn’t yet - but they were obviously willing to play the long game in order to acquire it, and that couldn’t have been for nothing. 

Perhaps it had something to do with the gem dangling from her necklace. Loki had seen her touching it, frequently and absentmindedly, running her slender fingers over the deep blue stone during stressed and quiet moments like now. Clearly it meant a lot to her; someone who loved her had given it to her. Someone she loved back, someone she probably missed dearly…

As he started to wonder if anyone was out there looking for her, Loki realized he was staring and quickly averted his eyes. They landed once again upon the bowl of uneaten porridge next to her, and a new form of discomfort wove itself between the muscles of his shoulders and neck. It wrapped around his nerve-endings, stinging the open and frayed tendrils that had been worn bare from the pain of still being alive. 

He was quite vulnerable existing like this, even though he knew she couldn’t see him hiding in the shadows. That she didn’t know what he was thinking, or where he was looking. That she was unaware of the fleeting relief that poured into his veins when she was brought back to the cell alive, or his shame at feeling anything that had immediately replaced it. 

Loki had been flippant when she was initially brought in here. He was angry the first time she tried to share a meal with him. And then he was conflicted, at best, when she was dragged back in the second time. This paltry range of emotions was far more than he was previously used to; he felt like he was drowning in it, like it was slowly collapsing his airways and squeezing out every last ounce of oxygen from his lungs. 

Because there was only one person on this planet who knew his name. A single individual, throughout all of space and time, knew where he was. She was the sole witness to his current existence, and he’d never felt more uncomfortable or on display than here and now. She had met him at his worst, in his ultimate moment of triumph when he’d finally been able to remove himself from any and all equations, from every problem that ever needed solving, and he absolutely hated that. 

Loki thought he’d finally accounted for everything when he had stepped through the Time Door and into this dungeon. He thought he’d finally fixed the issue, himself, for literally everyone - and then this tiny little variable had shown up so unexpectedly to completely ruin it for him. 

He should have been angrier about it. He should have been furious and seething and shaking with rage over this egregious betrayal of the universe. Being alone had been the whole point, keeping everyone safe from him had been his only intention, seeking protection from the pain of both betrayal and being betrayed was all that Loki had left. Why wasn’t he allowed that meager peace of mind? 

Damnation clung to Loki like a frightened child clung to his mother’s skirts, trembling in the dark and begging for acknowledgement of its traumatized state. It lurked around every corner and it haunted every shadow, constantly weeping and whimpering and howling out its anguish to cruel and uncaring souls. It was always there, lingering in the corner of his eye, reminding him of just how helpless and useless he was. That he should just give up. That he should just end it already. 

But sometimes, the damnation would transform into something far more sinister, into the tall, skulking form of a cerulean demon. Hanging over his shoulder and digging its claws into his neck, the demon would spit cruel maledictions into his ear. Didn’t Loki know that everyone around him was already doomed? Wouldn’t it be kinder to just kill them now, rather than waiting for him to ruin their life and then cruelly and inevitably take it from them?  

Hiding in the dungeon was the only reasonable compromise between the frightened child and the viscous demon warring in his mind. If only he had stuck with that plan, if only he hadn’t revealed that someone else was alive in the cell with her, then maybe he wouldn’t be in this mess right now. 

Regret, his oldest and only friend, wouldn’t be blaring its horn and sounding the alarm bells and crying out for solace. So why did it bother him so much now that she wasn’t eating? 

Loki shifted uncomfortably on the stone floor, weighing the options in his mind. The regret of initially engaging with this woman didn’t mean he couldn’t change tactics; and if she wasn’t eating, then it wouldn’t be too much longer until he was on his own again. That had been his initial plan, and there was no reason he couldn’t return to that now. Wasn’t being alone all he ever wanted? 

“You should finish your meal. There’s no telling how long it’ll be before they bring another…” The words felt like acid on Loki’s tongue, dripping down his throat to eat away at his insides. He hoped they had come out as bluntly as he’d intended, but in reality, it just sounded like something his mother would have said. 

This time, the woman didn’t shudder when he finally broke the tense silence. She didn’t even react at all, other than to sigh heavily and respond in a low and flattened tone. “What’s the point…?” 

“Well, clearly they’d prefer you to be alive, for whatever reason…” Loki’s jaw tensed as he paused, struggling to understand why he was even bothering. “Even if they bring food on an irregular basis, it’s still more than anyone else gets…”

“Maybe the only reason they want me alive is so they can continue mocking and hurting me.”

That was a more difficult point to contend with; perhaps the guards had just grown weary of the simple and mundane murders, and they’d decided to go with something more entertaining this time. What if there wasn’t a more complicated explanation for the guards' motivations? What if he was searching for logic that didn’t even exist?

Loki stifled another yawn as he leaned back against the stone wall, raking his fingers through tangled curls that were just as chaotic as his thoughts. There had to be something he was missing while attempting to put this puzzle together. “So what did the guards say when they caught you escaping?”  

The woman let out a heavy exhale, and her tone shifted into a more sarcastic tone. “Oh, normal things like what are you doing out of your cell?, and no one’s coming to rescue you. Typical kidnapper things, you know…” 

Loki couldn’t help but roll his eyes at her nonchalant answers, but what else was he expecting? He was beginning to wonder if it was even worth putting this much effort into avoiding sleep. Nothing else in his life prior to meeting her had been easy, so why was he expecting this to go smoothly? 

“Actually, the guard did say something strange before knocking me out…” The woman trailed off, pausing as she furrowed her brow. 

Loki cleared his throat as he looked towards her again. “Strange how?” 

“Maxine - or Nulan, whichever one it was…They caught me upstairs in their private quarters. Just before attacking me, they said what is gone…may never return.” The woman pulled her lower lip between her teeth as she recalled the memory. “I’ve never heard it before, and I have no idea what it means…”

What is gone…may never return. Loki turned the phrase backward and forward in his mind, trying to find its place in this absolutely confounding puzzle. But he’d never heard anyone say anything even remotely close to it, so there was nowhere for it to go. The phrase’s sentiment, however, he understood perfectly well.

“It was probably just a threat, or a taunt…” she continued with a dismissive shake of her head. “They were just mocking me, for losing everything…”

“Or it’s a prayer. A desperate request, for some kind of reprieve…” Loki murmured in reply. He didn’t want to think about whether anyone had ever hoped for the same thing after he’d finally walked away, but he was positive that they had. And he hadn’t meant for his interpretation to sound so melancholy, but as his gaze caught the woman’s matching expression, he could feel her understanding of his meaning. Loki hated that. 

She must have sensed that as well, because she quickly forced a false smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. “No…surely they must have been talking about me losing my boots.”

Her smile faded just as quickly as it had appeared, shifting into a grimace as a violent shiver shuddered over the limbs she struggled to pull close enough. She breathed out a heavy sigh and lowered her forehead to her knees with another tremble, and for once, Loki was grateful for the Jotun physiology keeping him relatively comfortable. But the woman didn’t share the same luxury of such a curse, and she was clearly suffering in these dank and grim conditions. 

Loki turned his attention towards his fingers, twitching and fidgeting restlessly in his lap. This particular guilt was both new and unwelcome, like the haunting of fresh ghosts he thought he’d finally manage to not brutally murder for once. It wasn’t directly his fault she was here, that she was suffering. She was a complete stranger, after all, and this couldn’t have been his problem, or his responsibility. 

But as Loki lifted his gaze again, carefully moving his eyes to avoid looking upon her once more, he caught a glimpse of the woman’s forgotten boots in the shadows, the ones carelessly stripped away while the guards were searching her the night before. 

He recalled one of the first lessons Odin had explained about ruling a kingdom, that sometimes tact and finesse were far more effective than blades or might. Perhaps if Loki was kind instead of harsh, and if he returned the boots to the frozen woman, then she might help alleviate the nagging questions he still had and allow him to fight off sleep for just a little bit longer. 

His brow furrowed, and he swallowed hard as he realized this was the least he could do for the both of them. It wasn’t much, but it felt like chopping off a limb when he cleared his throat and forced himself to speak again. “Your, um…boots are in here. They might help you with the…cold.”

The woman’s head popped back up, and her eyes narrowed as she scanned for them in the darkness. “Where are they? I don’t - ” she replied, clumsily attempting to push herself upright, obviously eager to get them back on as soon as possible. 

Loki felt an odd sense of duty, one that had been buried deep underneath the many eons of pain, and it compelled him to act before he had the chance to second-guess himself. He moved slowly, shifting his weight onto his hip, and extended his arm out. His fingers were just long enough to barely grasp the black leather pull loops, to drag them closer and then place them within her reach while maintaining a safe distance, and without the need for him to stand.

A faint smile crossed her lips as she stretched to pull them closer. “Thank you so much, Loki.” 

He couldn’t bring himself to make eye contact anymore; it was hard enough to listen to the bewildered gratitude in her voice. His every movement had stayed within the safe confines of the shadows, and he imagined that she saw her boots reappearing as if from the loving aid of a benevolent god, of someone else who was capable of caring. 

“It was nothing,” he told them both. 

He had fully intended to return his attention back inward, but he found himself distracted by the woman as she shifted on the floor. Curling and stretching her limbs, gracelessly attempting to pull a boot back on with a single hand, and then reluctantly, with both hands. She let out a gasping whimper as she tried to extend out her left arm, and Loki noticed her fingers trembling as she tried to push through the pain. 

Obligation flared along his spine again, but this time, Loki questioned it. A childhood memory surfaced, of when his father would return home from war, bruised and exhausted and weary, and Loki would rush to his side, eager to help with removing his armor and assist in any way he could. He thought maybe if he proved himself useful, eager and determined, like his older brother was, then Odin might finally give him a chance to fight alongside him. 

But even though his seidr had been well-advanced for his age, his father had always refused to bring Loki along, despite never leaving home without Thor. Odin had said that Loki wasn’t ready yet, that he wasn’t strong enough, that it was too dangerous for a little boy to be out on the field and surrounded by their mortal enemies. 

“Such a young prince falling into the hands of Asgard’s opponents could prove disastrous to the realms,” his father had said, even though that fear had never stopped him from bringing Thor into battle. It wasn’t until much later that Loki realized the truth, that the only real use he had wasn’t needed back then - not until the direst of circumstances forced his father’s ultimate and final hand. 

The woman let out a sharp groan, bringing Loki back to the present. She had collapsed back against the wall, sniffling and brushing the messy strands of crimson hair away from her face. “Loki, I’m so sorry…but can you please…?” 

His eyes widened, and hers were full of tears. Her cheeks reddened, and her lower lip trembled as she spoke with a cracked voice. “Please help me? I’m so cold, and I can’t…I can’t get these back on…” 

It wasn’t like the cold, calculating demands he was previously used to, and Loki realized that it pained her to ask like this. She wasn’t trying to get anything out of him, she wasn’t manipulating her way into something more than she deserved, or trying to get him to commit atrocities in her name. 

It wasn’t a game or a trick designed to be laughed at later with her friends; she genuinely just needed his help. But the problem was that this kind of assistance not only required him to vacate the shadows, to come closer and share the same air as her - it necessitated physical touch. Loki was sure he couldn’t handle that. 

The muscles in his fingers articulated of their own accord, separating and curling into just the right place to summon and concentrate his seidr, intent on disassembling the atoms that made up the woman’s boots and reassembling them back where they belonged. 

A suitable compromise, Loki believed, except that absolutely nothing happened. The warmth that normally accompanied his magic was nowhere to be found, that familiar connection to the past and the present, to his mother, wasn’t opening its loving arms to welcome him back home - and that was when he finally remembered. 

Loki’s seidr was dead, because he was supposed to be dead. 

He’d forsaken his magic as soon as he’d arrived here. Once he willingly stepped through the Time Door and into this dungeon, once he’d realized that the first thing this newly-freed universe had done was trap him yet again, he decided that this time it was really meant to be. 

So he didn’t bother fighting it, and he willingly let go of the tendrils of seidr he had once clung so tightly to. He didn’t deserve the honor of wielding it, not after what he’d done in New York. And what use would that magic have been to the hollowed-out shell of a person he was now? What good could he have possibly done with it anyway?

“Loki?”

Once again, the woman’s quiet voice refocused his attention. Her expression had fallen even further during his silent brooding, and she was staring woefully into the dark, desperately hoping to see him finally coming to her aid. A deep sense of dread rose up within his chest, thick and impenetrable, oozing between his ribs to singe and suffocate his lungs like molten lava. 

Loki didn’t know what to do, and yet, he moved anyway. Pressing his palms flat against the stone floor, he bent his knees and carefully pushed himself upright. His joints cracked and popped, his muscles were stiff and sluggish as he slid one foot forward, and the belt around his waist was far looser than when he’d initially put it on. 

Taking another step closer, his mind suddenly dizzied, and his body began to sway dangerously from the juxtaposition of pushing himself forward while he’d been wasting away. He quickly grabbed onto the wall with a sharp gasp, trying to steady himself as his legs tingled themselves awake. 

“Loki…are you alright?” the woman murmured, her brow furrowing with concern. 

“I’m fine, it’s just - ” Loki sighed heavily, his heart pounding and muscles trembling. “I’m just not used to…standing.” 

Loki closed his eyes and leaned against the wall for a moment, willing his body back into operating under his own control. But despite his best efforts, weariness and exhaustion were still permanently at the helm, relentlessly steering him back towards collapsing and passing out again. 

“It’s alright. Take your time…”

Loki’s eyes snapped back open, painfully aware that she was still watching him closely, and he did everything he could to both avoid her gaze and her reassurance. Nothing about this was alright, and he could hear his father’s chastising voice from beyond the stars, criticizing him for allowing enervation to consume him - even though that was the only way to keep himself out of trouble. 

His eyes flitted across the dungeon cell, feverishly taking in the stone walls and steel bars of the door, then out to the flickering lantern light of the hallway. Loki had never even bothered to take a good look at his coffin before committing to staying in it for all eternity, but from this elevation, he could clearly examine the cuts that made up the large slabs of the walls and floor. Meticulous, flawless, precise - too perfect to have been sliced by hand. 

His gaze moved to the cream-colored candlestick suspended within the single lantern in the hallway, evenly melted away and without a single speck of soot upon the glass encasing it. From there, he could make out the grooves carved by the steel bars into the doorway’s arch as it swung open and closed, and the streaked and dark stains, smudged against the grayed and leadened floor, leading from the hallway back into their cell. 

The woman’s blood, he assumed, and Loki’s hands clenched into fists. His throat tightened, and the slightest hint of outrage began to reluctantly wake from its slumber. 

Forcing the feeling away, Loki finally closed the distance and carefully crouched in front of the woman; only then did he let her be the focus of his attention. Loose and uneven strands of crimson had been pulled free from the long, disheveled braid nestled untidily over her shoulder;her skin was wan and pallid, and her lips were tinted with the faintest hint of blue. 

Dried blood had smeared on her ear, her neck, the lengths of her hair and along her cheek. It was everywhere, mixed with the dirt and muck from the floor, coating the corners of her cracked lips and the freckles that dotted her cheekbone. The fact that the blood was dried, meaning the original wound was at the very least no longer actively bleeding, did nothing to make him feel better. 

Loki lowered one knee down to the floor, precariously settling his weight onto one ankle, and the woman’s attention was now entirely fixed on her boots. She swallowed nervously, and Loki silently agreed with the sentiment. How long had it been since he’d touched another person? Did he even remember how to be gentle? How to not contaminate? 

Moving cautiously, he took a boot into his grasp, threading his fingers between the loops and slowly pulling to loosen its laces. While he worked, he focused on the soft leather: its scent was herbal, earthy, and with just the barest suggestion of sweetness. Intricate designs, swirls and constellations and rays of light emanating from an overly-stylized sun were stitched into the leather, extending from the collar and flowing down way past the ankle. 

Soft, pliable and shiny, the leather still showed signs of its latest polish, applied with a healthy dose of high-quality wax, from underneath the layers of grim. The boots had been methodically cared for, regularly and recently, and probably not too long before the woman found herself in custody of the mysterious guards. Loki found himself curious about the circumstances of her capture. 

Stained in the same shade of night as the leathers covering her legs, they blended seamlessly together with the rest of her clothing, from the thin stockings on her feet to the chipped lacquer on her fingernails. Everything was the exact same color, save for the thin, flowing emerald tunic that had long since come untucked, and the gem that hung from her neck. 

And everything she wore was undoubtedly expensive, most likely customized for this particular owner, and she had obviously not dressed for being locked inside a damp and grimy dungeon. At best, she was prepared for a pleasant walk through the woods on a mildly chilly evening; Loki tried not to think about it too much. 

Out of his peripheral vision, Loki could see the woman stealing glances up at him. She watched him carefully, her sea green eyes shifting cautiously between his face, his hands, and the boot he was unlacing - obviously examining and judging the hideous monster whose help she had no choice but to accept. 

Loki began to feel self-conscious. There was no doubt that his own appearance wasn’t any better than her own at the moment; in fact, he was sure it was much, much worse. Dark and unkempt curls hung way past his shoulders like sinister snakes. The skin on his hands was sullen and pallor, shifting dangerously close to bluish gray, and he had no idea if his eyes had begun to drift back into their original shade of ruby-red or not. He promised himself that this would be the only time she ever saw his face up close. 

When he could no longer justify stalling with the laces, he cleared his throat, and forced his fingers to tap the underside of her leg; a featherlight touch that could have been easily missed if one hadn’t been expecting it. But the woman again mercifully sensed his meaning, and she positioned the appropriate foot for him to slide the boot on. 

Too well, Loki noticed, as he pulled the collar up to settle around her calf; she was exceptionally practiced at having others put footwear on her - at tensing the right muscles at just the right moment, and extending the leg with just enough force to seat the foot comfortably against the insole. 

“Sorry about this…” she mumbled as Loki pulled the laces tight and began looping them back and forth around the hooks. “Although, this is probably the most exciting thing you’ve done in a while, huh?” 

She was trying to lighten the mood, to distract from the previous awkwardness of such close quarters. Loki’s response was flat and measured, his attention focused on tying instead of talking. “Like I said - it’s nothing.” 

A nervous silence followed, one that was far more uncomfortable than the awkwardness. Loki hadn’t meant to be so dismissive, and perhaps he’d been far too frigid for someone who was supposed to be helping her. When he finished the final loop, he cleared his throat again and forced himself to look up again. 

“Is that…too tight for you?” he murmured softly. 

The woman managed a weak smile as she flexed her ankle. “No. It feels fine.” 

Loki noted that her pupils dilated ever so slightly when she met his gaze, and he took that as a good sign that her head injury wasn’t a completely serious one. He wasn’t sure why he was noting that, but nonetheless, he had, and he didn’t have the energy to start questioning it. Instead, he busied himself with picking up the other boot and threading his fingers underneath its laces like he’d done with the first. 

“Is this all I have left? Just waiting in this cell to die?” 

Her voice had taken on a somber, more sorrowful tone now; apparently open anguish was much easier for her than polite small-talk, and if she hadn’t been so exhausted, Loki would have guessed there would have been more than a tear or two accompanying her questions. He wasn’t sure how to answer her; bringing up the fact that the other prisoners before her had never lasted more than a day or two, or the fact that they were never returned once removed from their cells, probably wasn’t going to help her mood very much. 

“At least they’re leaving you alone for the most part,” Loki answered, lightly tapping his fingers underneath her other leg for the placement of its boot. “Be thankful for relative peace.” 

The woman sighed heavily as she cooperated. “Relative peace. That’s all I have to look forward to?” 

“For some, that’s all they’ve ever wanted,” Loki said absentmindedly. “They’d kill for it, and others willingly die in its pursuit…”

The woman’s eyebrows raised in troubled concern, and Loki tried to ignore it. He couldn’t understand why he was like this, either speaking too familiarly with the woman, or far too flippantly. He was out of practice when it came to any sort of normal conversation, but he didn’t want to be accustomed to it again. In the end, she was just a temporary distraction, and he wasn’t supposed to even exist at all. 

“That’s very enlightened, coming from someone who has nightmares every time he closes his eyes…” the woman replied as he finished tying the laces on the other boot. She flexed that ankle, and then nodded her approval while pulling her knees back against her chest. 

Loki’s brow furrowed as he met her gaze once more. Her eyes were wide and open, appearing to be without a single shred of judgment, only empathy. Loki couldn’t help but scrutinize her for that. If she only knew how little he deserved kindness, and he was irritated that she’d noticed how bad his nightmares were at all. He’d rather have not known that his weakness was on complete display, and thus, beyond his complete control. 

Slowly pushing himself back up to standing, grateful that the task and its requisite close proximity were finally over, Loki’s fingertips trailed along the cold stone as he backed into the shadows again. But lethargy was creeping back in, along with the ever-present unsettled and restless energy, and when Loki returned to sitting, he wasn’t quite as far into the dark as he had been before. 

“You know, it may help your nightmares to talk about them,” the woman suggested cautiously. “Perhaps unburdening yourself a little would be a good thing…” 

Loki grimaced. Of all the ways she could have worded it, he wished it hadn’t been in that specific way. As it were, various burdens of all sorts were already going to haunt him until the end of time, it seemed, and he preferred not to be reminded of the purposes initially set upon him by Thanos. And even if he wanted to, where should he begin? 

He still didn’t quite understand what exactly had happened to him on Knowhere; that entire year was just a chaotic haze of torture and manipulation, through both physical and psychological means, and it was impossible for him to decipher what was real and what was a lie. Even now, he couldn’t even recall the exact circumstances that led to his descent from the Bifrost and into Thanos’ control. 

Sometimes, he could clearly remember the decision to let go of Gungnir and fall into the abyss; other times, he was absolutely convinced that his brother had pushed him in a jealous rage, furious that Loki’s short tenure as King had proved far more successful than any longer one Thor could have ever managed. 

Either way, the fall had resulted in him becoming Thanos’ prisoner, and then later, as a member of the Black Order - but only after they’d finally conceded that physical torture was never going to work on the body of a Frost Giant, on an Asgardian prince raised as a warrior, or on a powerful sorcerer who already had extremely complicated feelings about being alive in the first place. 

But once they realized that he just wanted somewhere to belong, they finally started to see real progress, and the emotional manipulation that followed was probably more effective than they could have ever hoped for. It was so very easy to muddy the rough waters of Loki’s psyche thanks to the Chitauri Scepter and his tremendous heartbreak - a kind word here, a clever lie there, and nothing but speeches about revenge and betrayals, destinies and purposes, salvation and redemption, and scorned Kings and their disgraced sons. 

After Loki had been welcomed into the fold, Thanos explained his need for the Tesseract; if Loki acquired it, then he would be granted an army to help take Midgard by as excessive and violent force as he deemed necessary. The God of Mischief already knew that he wanted to be as destructive as possible - to both completely cripple his brother’s fondness for the pathetic humans, and to show Odin that he would settle for being a terrifying leader if he wasn’t permitted to be a good one. 

His idea for retrieving the Tesseract had been a clever one; so clever that Loki wasn’t surprised that Thanos or the Black Order hadn’t ever considered it before. But getting to suggest it meant that his new Master was immediately pleased with his usefulness, something that had rarely happened with his previous keeper, and Loki was so grateful for the opportunity to satisfy. 

Out of the six Infinity Stones, the Space Stone was unique in that it could generate massive amounts of self-sustaining energy. Its power signature was incredibly easy to track, and it didn’t take long for Loki to determine the Tesseract’s location inside the S.H.I.E.L.D. research facility. Under Fury’s careful and watchful eye, the mortals were studying its capabilities for power production, no doubt to be used in some kind of advanced weapons manufacture instead of something that could actually be used to help mankind. 

A stereotypically short-sighted action, one that would soon be their downfall, because none of those weapons would ever be able to stop him from completing his task. Had they realized the stone’s true potential, as Loki had, then perhaps the humans might have fared better during his invasion.

Because he knew something that apparently no one else did, something he now prayed that no one else would ever be able to figure out. Loki was in the unusual position of understanding exactly how the Bifrost had operated, of how it could easily send and receive anything from across the galaxies with frightening and pinpoint accuracy. As a child, he was fascinated by the Bifrost, and more than once Heimdall had to stop him from attempting to disassemble it while searching for the details of its inner workings. 

Once informed of her son’s unyielding curiosities, his mother had patiently redirected that energy towards Asgard’s massive libraries. There, he spent many late nights pouring over the texts and histories of the magnificent Bifrost. Once he’d devoured all he could from words, he then spent his time exploring the Realm and looking for means of travel that didn’t involve going to the Bifrost at all. 

And thanks to the Mad Titan’s relentless and universal conquest in search of the stones, Loki had access to incalculable amounts of lore, research and history that had been stolen from countless cultures and societies. He spent months buried in books and manuscripts, performing calculations and practicing his seidr, searching desperately for the perfect combination of science and magic to get him what he needed. 

All of that, when combined with his extensive knowledge of the Bifrost, allowed Loki to realize that all he needed was a power-source. It must have been fate and its impeccable sense of humor, because the Space Stone could be the engine, and the Tesseract was going to be the gateway - a terrible, incredible bridge between where you were, and where you desperately wanted to be. 

For Loki, the Tesseract was going to deliver him to vengeance, respect, authority and glory - in a way that no one would be able to undo once he finally got it. His brother, his father, the entire Nine Realms and beyond, all of them would be powerless to stop him once he figured out how to open the Tesseract’s portal from the other side. 

Returning to his research with a new sense of delirium, he gave up on sleep, and food, and his sanity while he searched for the answer. His cheeks became hollow, his eyes were sunken deep into his skull, and his skin grew weak and frail. His nerves were on the verge of total disintegration, his heart ached and his mind was hazy. 

His every waking thought was consumed by the Tesseract, and on the rare occasion that he actually passed out, so were his nightmares. He became too lost to even carry on a conversation; all he could manage were grunts and groans and strange approximations of the word “Tesseract”. Every part of himself, anything that had once been Loki, had all but slipped away. 

But occasionally, Loki would come back to himself. He would look down at his hands in horror, and he wouldn’t understand where he was or how he got there. While screaming and lashing out, the one called Ebony Maw would preach about balance, about salvation and judgment and how Loki was destined to assist the Great Titan in saving all of life, by ending half of it. He was instructed to be grateful for being allowed to take part in it.

But it didn’t make any sense, and Loki tried so hard to resist, to fight them off, to scramble to the exit and free himself, to warn someone of the terrible thing that was coming. Then, something would happen, something would touch him, and his mind would cloud back over with rage and madness. The dangerous craving for the Tesseract would return tenfold, and then he would be back on task, more eager than ever to please. 

After a quick journey through the minds of the men known as Selvig and Barton, Loki finally had everything he needed to complete his sacred mission. The astrophysicist filled in the last remaining gaps about the Tesseract’s functionalities, and the archer revealed information about S.H.I.E.L.D.'s security protocols - how many personnel were on site, what types of weapons they had, where they’d been trained. The details of every file stored on their secret servers, every individual’s personal histories - including that of the beings once considered to join the so-called Avengers, the ones that might be called upon to stop him. 

On his first attempt, Loki succeeded in opening the Tesseract’s portal. One moment, he was standing on Thanos’ ship, and the next, he was inside the research facility, shrouded within a haze of smoke and mania. By the third second, he was ferociously attacking, moving and acting without consideration for the stealth or secrecy he’d been trained with as a child. He didn’t even bother dodging the humans’ pathetic projectiles; instead, he focused on murdering the ones he had already deemed useless to his cause, and using the Sceptre to convert the ones that were worthy of it

Nor did he bother mincing words with Fury as the Director stalled for time, not even the ones ripped directly from Ebony Maw’s impassioned and self-important speeches. Loki already knew how unstable the gateway was, and that was by design. During his maniacal studies, he had determined how best to sustain the portal’s opening for safe and easy passage - first, in order to allow entry for the Chitauri forces, and then to facilitate easy travel for Thanos to find the rest of the stones later on. 

Loki’s first act of murder had been intentionally not stabilizing the portal as it opened inside the S.H.I.E.L.D. facility; he had wanted the structure to collapse in a stunning display of destruction. Whether it was to be an ominous warning for what he was about to do, or if it was to serve as a call to action for the only ones who could have prevented him from succeeding, he still wasn’t quite sure. 

Either way, he ultimately failed in the only way that had mattered. Loki didn’t achieve vengeance or respect or authority, and there was no victory or glory waiting for him after it was over. The Chitauri Forces were destroyed, the Tesseract was not handed over to Thanos per their agreement, and he’d made a great many vicious and unforgiving enemies that day. 

In the end, the only thing waiting for him was a prison cell on Asgard, and all he’d managed to do was to make everything worse. 

And presumably, after it was over, Thanos still had access to all of Loki’s research. Losing out on the Tesseract would have infuriated him and the Black Order; a minor inconvenience, sure, but it wouldn’t have hindered their quest in the slightest. Thanos still knew how to use the Tesseract because of him - and more importantly, he understood how to use it in the most destructive way possible. That was completely and entirely Loki’s fault, and he just hoped that Thanos was arrogant enough to keep that information to himself, that no one else would try and fail in the same catastrophic way that Loki had. 

Maybe the Tesseract wasn’t meant to be used as a gateway, and in doing so, Loki had ensured that he’d never get what he wanted, and that he’d lose what little he had left. All of that madness and frantic chaos and deliberate carnage had been for absolutely nothing. Maybe the Tesseract was cursed, and maybe, so was he. 

Because every single time Loki had come into contact with it, his life had taken a drastic and even more devastating turn for the worse. Attempting to acquire it for Thanos had broken him - mind, body, and soul; fleeing New York with it had landed him in the clutches of the TVA; and apparently, it had been his ultimate destiny to die while trying to keep it from the Mad Titan. 

The absolute last thing Loki ever wanted was to be reminded of the Tesseract - more than he wanted silence, or solitude, or to rot. And now this woman wanted to know what his nightmares were about? 

Even if he had made it to the prison cell on Asgard, he wasn’t planning to explain himself to anyone. What was he supposed to tell his brother, his mother, his father? That he’d been deceived? Were they going to believe that he’d fallen for someone else’s lies so easily, and without question? That the God of Mischief himself had been tricked, played for a fool and made to be the universe’s largest and most pathetic scapegoat?

No, trying to justify his actions would be a grave disservice to the innocent lives he’d taken, and telling the truth was next to impossible. Even just talking about the betrayal of his family would be too much for him to bear, and that was the only aspect of the entire thing that Loki had never, ever second-guessed. 

The woman continued stealing glances in his direction, from just a few feet away now. Still waiting for him to say something, anything, to help keep her mind distracted from her own plights. For the briefest of moments, he actually considered asking if she’d ever heard of the Tesseract, or the Infinity Stones. If she knew who Thanos was, if he’d ever been to this planet before…but as Loki fidgeted with his tie, running his fingers over the frayed and broken seams in the cloth, he knew the answer didn’t matter. 

The appropriate time to have asked that question would have been when he’d first arrived, back when the TemPad still had the power to take him some place else if need be. But now the TemPad was dead; he was trapped here, and the longer he could go without hearing about the Tesseract, the better. The longer he could go on in the blissful ignorance of relative peace, and without talking about himself, the easier this would be for everyone. 

“How did you wind up here anyway?” He winced as he spoke, hating himself for being more than a little curious about it. “I can’t imagine the guards asking you to come along nicely…”

The woman hesitated for a moment, no doubt replaying the events in her mind and wishing she had done something differently. Her fingers grasped the gem that hung from her neck, and she swallowed hard. “I was…taken from Tessaway, my home, in the middle of the night.” 

She paused, her eyes focused on something non-existent in the distance. “I don’t know how they made it past the sentries, but they…managed, somehow. They took me from my bed, while I slept…” 

Loki shook his head, trying to appear sympathetic. “You lived in a heavily guarded city. It must be a very dangerous place…”

“Tessaway isn’t a city,” she corrected, furrowing her brow as she looked over at him. “It’s the castle in Fayrest. You know, the capital city…?” 

He didn’t know any of that, of course, having never left this cell. The woman looked like she wanted to say more but was afraid to, and he couldn’t help but think about why she had seemed to imply before that no one was going to rescue her. “Wouldn’t someone from the castle have noticed your absence? Surely they have to be looking for you by now…” 

“No…” The woman shifted uncomfortably in place, her expression broken and forlorn. “No, I was just a servant. No one important enough to miss…” 

Loki had been studying her carefully ever since he’d realized her captors were going to keep her alive for much longer than they had the others. Her movements were elegant and refined, her clothing and jewelry expensive and customized, her speech graceful and enchanting; the kind of charming that could only come from years of practice. He didn’t believe for a second that she was just a servant working in a castle. 

But she was also clearly in a tremendous amount of pain, and for whatever reason, was keeping the origins of her birth a secret. Loki wondered what might have happened to him if he had been given that luxury, if he hadn’t been the only one to not know the truth about himself. 

“Ah, a servant,” he replied, trying to lighten the mood a little. His unpracticed lips curved into a forced and lazy grin. “That certainly explains why you’re so concerned about my well-being…” 

The woman’s eyebrows raised in amusement, and she tilted her head curiously as if taking his comment as a challenge. “What’s the matter? Are you not used to someone worrying about your well-being?” 

Loki’s jaw tensed; perhaps he hadn’t been behaving as opaquely as he hoped, and he hated that she could see through him just as well as he could through her. He glanced over, and decided to provoke her right back. “Well, I’m sure they’ll miss you at the castle eventually. Like when there’s pots that need washing, or linens that need changing?” 

“Yes, yes, that’s very funny…” she replied, rolling her eyes. “I get it, the thing about servants is that no one knows your name until something you normally do suddenly isn’t being done anymore…” 

The woman turned, and she met his gaze with a considering and dissecting one of her own. “Like you - you don’t need anything from me, so why would you ever bother learning my name?” 

From just a few feet away, the woman stared deep into his soul, tugging at the strings that still held him upright and all but questioning if they were even necessary. He waited until she looked away to furrow his brow again, because while she was right about him not needing anything from her, she was surely mistaken about the other half of her point.

Because he did actually know her name; it was the first new name he’d learned in such a very long time, and he thought it suited her quite well, all things considered. But he had been trying to avoid acknowledging it, not wanting it to mean something more than what it was. 

It was just a name, after all; a series of specific vocalizations designed to get her attention. Saying it out loud didn’t mean that they were friends, or that they were even important to each other. It wouldn’t bind them in any way, or obligate him to care. But if that were true, then why did he have such a problem with saying it? 

Loki could feel a nervous energy creeping relentlessly up his spine again. He wished it would stop receding, that it would stay put, because the constant shifting between relaxing and stressing was completely wearing him out. He told himself he just needed to say it out loud and get it over with, before he could start second-guessing and talk himself out of it again - especially now that she had noticed his careful avoidance of her name. 

“What kind of servant knows how to fight with a staff anyway?” Loki asked, affecting an innocent and casual tone. “I guess servants named Oliviette do…” 

After he answered his own question, Loki looked towards her again, and Oliviette was already smiling back at him; it was a bleary and quiet acknowledgement, but the sentiment was definitely noteworthy. For the first time since they’d met, he could see the dimples in her cheeks, and it was impossible to miss the way her eyes lit up with mirth, or how her lips pursed before she finally responded. 

“What? Am I not allowed to have hobbies outside of work?” 

Loki struggled to not return her smile. He almost felt a sense of appreciation for her snark and the much-needed diversion from the constant aching in his chest. It was only then that he remembered that this was supposed to be a temporary distraction; he couldn’t afford to spend needless energy that didn’t directly involve finding out why the guards were keeping Oliviette alive for this long. 

Keeping a safe distance was paramount, his new glorious purpose. Trust was for children and dogs, wasn’t that how he’d put it to Mobius during their first meeting? As long as he stayed here, keeping himself isolated and protected, then he couldn’t ever be tricked into being someone else’s attack dog ever again. He couldn’t ever hurt anyone again. 

Besides, it was highly implausible that her life would end in any way other than tragically. Loki’d already had quite enough of that - and would it be worth getting close to her, even if it didn’t? 

⊱ ─ ༓ ── ⋅•⋅⊰ ─  ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ∙ ⋅  ─ ⊱⋅•⋅ ── ༓ ─ ⊰

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#loki #loki x original female character #loki fanfiction #loki odinson #loki x oc #loki fic #loki angst #loki laufeyson #loki fanfic #loki x ofc #tva loki #loki mutual pining #loki mcu #loki smut #loki fluff #loki hurt/comfort #slow burn #mutual pining #marvel #fanfic #smut #fluff #angst #hurt/comfort #TLTGYA #cee writes

[acciotherapists]

Little Sparrow Masterlist

Loki x Reader Mafia AU

When Tony Stark's little sister wakes up deep in enemy territory she assumes her life is over. She'll be killed or worse: used as a bargaining chip against her estranged brother. What happens when the mafia leader, Loki Laufeyson, offers her a deal she can't refuse? No sentiment. Only revenge. What happens when the truth is revealed? Will she betray her only family or betray the man she loves to hate? Little Sparrow is an enemies to lover's fic riddled with betrayal and spice!

Links Below the Cut

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

#little sparrow #loki x female reader #loki x y/n #loki x reader #loki laufeyson #lokixreader #loki friggason #loki odinson #loki of asgard #marvel #avengers #marvel mcu #loki x you #loki x reader smut #slow burn #eventual smut #mafia au #mcu x reader #mcu #mcu loki #mcu au #mcu x you

[midnottart]

❄️⚡️🐍 • Happy Thorki Big Bang! ✨

I had the joy to team up with @invisible-hand and create an art piece for their fantastic story ‘The Serpent’s Kiss’

AO3 First Chapter

// political marriage AU between Jotun Thor and Æsir Loki

#loki #thor #thorki #Jotun Thor #midnott #thorki au #Thorki Big Bang #Thorki Big Bang 2022 #political marriage #Thorki political marriage #political marriage au #slow burn #midnott.art

[letstalkaboutshtufff]

Twisted Love Part 6

Loki x Reader

Pairing: Loki x Wife reader

Warnings: Forced marriage, language, anxiety, panic attacks, naughty talk lol, if I forgot anything please let me know!

Summary: You find the source of the noise.

The dimming of the sky caught your attention.

Perhaps you should be getting back before anyone worries about your absence.

You are just about to turn back when a sudden howl has you frozen to the spot.

*Ooooowaooooooooooo*

Heavens did you wander too far?? Was a wolf going to make you it's dinner now??

You backed up a few steps quietly listening for any sign of the wolf.

*owoooooooooooooooo*

You knew that sound. That wasn't the sound of a predator hunting it's prey... no that was the sound of a wounded animal.

But still something was off...

It howled again and against every voice telling you to high tail it back to camp your feet found themselves walking in the opposite direction.

The howl- no-cry grew louder and you knew you were heading in the right direction.

You veered off the trail down a rocky slope. The rocks cut into your feet but you hardly noticed.

The cry was practically in your ear now and once you reached the bottom of the slope you found the source of the pained calling.

A small furry being, the color of fallen snow was hanging onto a broken branch, it's two front paws gripping wildly to the wood whilst it's legs swung helplessly trying to grip but failing. Below the creature was a rushing body of water, not too wide but to the creature it was an ocean.

With little to no hesitation you bounded towards the baby in distress.

The freezing water biting at your skin the moment you entered it. Your lungs burned with the effort it took to wade over to the branch.

By the time you reached the little wolf the water was up to your neck.

"Here little one, don't be afraid! C-come on, please- come on, you can trust me! just a little more- come on!- ah" you winced slipping onto a sharp rock below, your head bobbing under for a moment.

*cough* *cough* "I-It's ok, it's ok, I'll save you I p-promise!" You tried reaching again, managing to grab onto the furry scruff for a moment before it slipped through your fingers. The current kept trying to rip you away which made every attempt even harder.

Your eyes went wide when the tiny paws lost their grip.

You dove forward and gasped in relief when you felt the bundle of fur. You gripped it hard towards your body, knowing that if you let go the current would take the creature forever.

The creature struggled in your grasp and you tried your best to calm it down whilst wading back towards the rocks.

You collapsed on the stones coughing and sputtering. The bundle was still wrapped in your arms although it did calm down. When you caught your breath enough you rolled to the side enough to look at the little wolf.

"A-are you alright little one?" The poor little thing shook its fur in an attempt to dry itself but was clearly shivering.

“What are you doing out here on your own hmm?” The cub regarded you warily but when you reached out your hand it wasn’t long before you felt a nudge.

You picked up the cub bringing it close to your chest. “Sorry my sweet, I know it’s not exactly a cozy fire but we wouldn’t want you to get sick would we? I promise as soon as I get back I’ll wrap you up in warm furs- oh dear- not wolf furs of course- other furs- fake furs- just forget I said anything…” you continued on babbling to the cub wrapped up in your arms and made your way back in the direction of camp.

By the looks of the sky you’d been gone a long while. Hopefully you didn’t cause any trouble…

A short while later you found yourself near the border of the camp.

You paused just before exiting the tree line.

You looked down at yourself, soaking wet, clothing ripped, covered in mud.

I can’t exactly walk into camp looking like this…

“Alright little one, you’re going to have to be very quiet alright?” You hid the creature inside of your dress the best you could.

Using the shadows of other tents you managed to sneak your way past the smaller ones of the guards and then hurriedly stepped through the flaps of the bigger one made for you and Loki.

Finally the warmth of the enchanted fire place inside had you sighing in relief.

The cub squirmed out of your dress and practically sprinted to the heated flames. You laughed as you watched it roll around the fur lined floor in comfort.

“Now that’s more like it hmm?”

“Now you just wait there while I slip into something a bit more comfortable….

Heavens I’m so wet, once I tear these clothes off me and you are going to take a nice hot bath and warm each other up-“

Just then a sudden clanging had your head swinging towards the tent entrance.

Your eyes widen at what you see.

Loki is there, his breathing almost…heavy? His brows furrowed deeply as you watched his gaze circle the room before landing on you, and when they did you felt you wanted to have the universe swallow you up.

His eyes slowly roamed from top to bottom and then once more. As if he wasn’t quite sure what he was looking at and truth be told he wasn’t.

“L-Loki-“ his eyes immediately flicked up to you. You gulped frozen to the spot.

“What on Asgard-” A little yap had you both snapping towards the fire where the little wolf was. Then slowly Loki’s gaze made it back to you but you did notice him flickering around the room as if searching for something.

“I-I” the panic took control of your tongue again like it always seemed to do.

Loki raised a single brow waiting for your explanation.

“You…?”

“I’m wet”.

*********************************************

I tried to end it on a funny note lol. Also very sorry for the wait, the next chapters won't take so long. I'm going to try to update at least once a week from now on!

Next part

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@sophiaedits

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@daddylokisqueen

@anemois-hiraeth

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@ibuki-as-president

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@the-professor-of-gallifrey

@spike-meowsters

@gasstationfifacard

@katrinakennedy1

@useless-snail

@not-anotha-loki-fanart-acc

@crimson25

@huntress-artemiss

@ilovefanfictions

@christineblood

@prpertyofnoone

@hatsparkle

@loveisfolklore

@mari-styles14

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@flightlexsbird @

@legendarygalaxytheorist @lizzmaximoff @sohais @lordfishflakes

@esoltis280 @meikoo

@shadowluna25

@bitchy-bi-trash @agent-tempest @winchestersgirl222

@lilaclaufeyson @carpediem-spero

#loki x reader #twisted love #loki fic #loki x reader arranged marriage #loki #loki series #loki laufeyson #loki x wife!reader #loki fanfic #loki x you #loki x y/n #angst #fluff #smut #slow burn

[hinatastinygiant]

Pairing: Loki Laufeyson x Fem!Reader, Some Thor x Fem!Reader

As a young princess of Astoria, you're introduced to the two princes of Asgard. Although love blooms with one of the princes, destiny takes an unexpected turn as you become betrothed to the other. But your intricate dance of love and royalty shatters when the TVA intervenes, ripping you away from everything you hold dear, and plunging you into the bewildering realms of time and existence.

Warnings: Language Warning! NSFW (18+) Sexual Content! Violence!

one: 𝓣𝓪𝓴𝓮 𝓜𝔂 𝓗𝓪𝓷𝓭

two: 𝓣𝓪𝓴𝓮 𝓜𝔂 𝓦𝓱𝓸𝓵𝓮 𝓛𝓲𝓯𝓮, 𝓣𝓸𝓸

three: 𝓕𝓸𝓻 𝓘 𝓒𝓪𝓷❜𝓽 𝓗𝓮𝓵𝓹

four: 𝓕𝓪𝓵𝓵𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓘𝓷 𝓛𝓸𝓿𝓮

five: 𝓦𝓲𝓽𝓱 𝓨𝓸𝓾.

six: 𝓘 𝓗𝓪𝓿𝓮 𝓓𝓲𝓮𝓭 𝓔𝓿𝓮𝓻𝔂 𝓓𝓪𝔂

seven: 𝓦𝓪𝓲𝓽𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓕𝓸𝓻 𝓨𝓸𝓾

eight: 𝓓𝓪𝓻𝓵𝓲𝓷𝓰, 𝓓𝓸𝓷❜𝓽 𝓑𝓮 𝓐𝓯𝓻𝓪𝓲𝓭

nine: 𝓘 𝓗𝓪𝓿𝓮 𝓛𝓸𝓿𝓮𝓭 𝓨𝓸𝓾

ten: 𝓕𝓸𝓻 𝓐 𝓣𝓱𝓸𝓾𝓼𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓨𝓮𝓪𝓻𝓼.

I DO NOT OWN MCU OR ITS CHARACTERS. I ONLY OWN THE OC’s.

(Completed February 14, 9:00 pm est)

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#loki x reader #loki x you #loki x y/n #loki laufesyon x reader #loki laufeyson x reader #loki laufeyson x y/n #loki laufeyson x oc #loki laufeyson #loki fanfic #loki fanfction #loki series #loki season 1 #canon divergence #asgardians #thor x reader #thor x you #thor x y/n #friends to lovers #forbidden love #slow burn #royal romance #time travel romance #misunderstanding #emotional hurt/comfort #jealousy #sacrifices #second chance at love #the author