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marylandavedc · 4 years

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Just a story

About 18 more on my personal page and new ones every week

Did you ever feel like you needed to escape a situation? Like you had to get out of it right now, things weren’t going your way, and you didn’t see any way out the direction you were going, so you just needed a different option.

“Come on Jason, you’ve got to keep pushing, we have to get this baby out.” “Push, push, come on, you can do it.” “I really need you to focus here, work with your body”.

That was all bullshit. I’d been pushing for what seemed like days; glancing up at the cock on the opposite wall, it had only been about 90 minutes, but I was so done. It wasn’t the 90 minutes of pushing, it was the 15 hours of hard labor I had before the got my feet into the stirrups.

The cheering and encouraging praise had died down about 30 minutes ago. Now the tone was ‘hurry up and get this baby out’, I wanted to believe that it was for my well-being, but I saw a few of the nurses glancing at their watches as I pushed for the millionth time.

Fuck, here it comes again. My back had been sore for weeks leading up to this, and now it was really achy from me laying down for so long, but I started to feel the twinge again. This was a precursor to a full blown contraction. It was an ach low deep in my back, almost in my pelvis, it was a stabbing pain now. I gasped for a deep breath, knowing that the pain was about to spread. It started in my back and wrapped around my front. It was like a vice twisting tighter and tighter. Soon the squeezing would be too much for me to take a full breath, so I needed to take one before the full contraction took over.

“We have another one, let’s go, big push” the nurse next to me would announce. It had lost its novelty an hour ago, and plus I didn’t need to be told that my womb was pushing the baby down, I could feel it.

I felt like I was at the end of a marathon, but the finish line kept inching farther and farther away from me. I feel myself stretching, and stretching, I can feel the baby pushing me wider and wider. It’s starting to burn. I know I have to push thru the burning, so I keep going. The whole room is counting down from 10, but their count slows as the get closer to 1. I’m stretched wider than ever; the head is so big.

Then once they reach 1 and my contraction isn’t much more than an unbearable amount of constant pressure, I let up. I take in a huge gasp of air to prevent me from passing out. Just as I’m about to pat myself on the back I feel the baby recede again. FUCK It doesn’t go back all the way in, but it did go back a bit.

“Please, I just need a break, I’m so tired” I begin to beg the team. I just need an hour of sleep, then I promise I’ll be right back at it. I don’t have much left to give. That’s when I start plotting my escape. I know it’s a fantasy. Here I am, legs wide and strapped into a pair of stirrups. They had to strap my feet in after I accidentally kicked a nurse during a particularly bad contraction. The bed is situated on an incline so I’m almost curled around my belly. Even if I could get myself out of the stirrups my belly is so big and heavy, Id require some help to get out of the bed.

Where would I go, 4 days overdue, with a baby’s head half way born? My hips already feel like they are going to break just at the pressure of the kid emerging, but to walk, there is no way. I just want them all to just leave the room and let me sleep for an hour.

I’m so far into this escape plan that I don’t even notice that a contraction has snuck up on me. This one is brutal. I haven’t been able to get a full deep breath, so I’m barley pushing. Even with no voluntary effort from me, my body is baring down. I can escape the pressure I’m feeling down there. I can actually hear my bones groan as the baby spreads me farther. The team can tell I’m not giving it my all, so they push me up by my back, making me curl around my enormous middle more to squeeze the baby out like toothpaste. One of the nurses gentle presses with his elbow on the top of my gravid middle. I can’t even distinguish between that pain and the pain of the contraction.

“Stop stop its over” I yell as they continue to press on my belly and curl me up. The contraction is over, but they force me to keep pushing. I see the doctor nod at them, and they bed me over. I haven’t been able to see over my belly in weeks, but they have me contorted in such a way that I can almost see the baby’s head coming out of me.

“Noooo, stopppp, please” I beg again, it comes out as a whisper, I’m pressed so far forward I can’t get a full breath of air. I feel the doctor’s fingers at my opening pressing. It’s almost too much, something is going to pop or tear or rip. Then it happens.

“Ugghh, god” I bark. They finally unfold me and I hear the doctor say that the head is out.

When my head is finally back on the pillow I look up, but my vision is blurry with tears. I’m trapped in a nightmare, a baby that’s half born but will not come the rest of the way out. My back is so sore from being in this position for so long, and having the full weight of my belly pressing down for hours.

I rub a hand over my still hard belly. The skin has a little more give to it than before, now that the baby’s head is out. I feel its little feet kicking me up in my ribs. The baby is trying to swim its way out. Any help is welcome, well almost.

“Ok, now you are going to feel my fingers, I’m going to try to loop my fingers under the baby’s arm pit so I can help pull as you push.” There was no question or ask of permission, instead I just felt two fingers enter me. The pressure we so much with just the baby there, and now it was worse with two long fingers invading the tight space. I groan and twist as I feel him enter me. It’s so foreign that I’ve been trying to get this baby out for so long, and now this doctor’s hand is inside me.

I can’t even look down, my belly, still large, is blocking my view, I just see the top of his head. Then I feel a tug. I grunt at the intrusion, and this new sensation. My body now wants moth of these intruders out, and I start to contract again. This time when I try to push, I can feel the doctor tugging on me too.

“Oh fuck, its coming, fuck fuck.” I yell out. I’m yelling between short strong pushes.

This time it’s not just the pressure in my hips, it’s the unimaginable stretching that’s going on. The doctor is pulling and the baby us being held back because I’m not wide enough. It’s a tug of war that the doctor will ultimately win. He is tired of being positioned between my legs, I’m sure there are a million other places he would rather be; so he pulls. The baby lurches down.

Within seconds the baby is pulled hard, and is finally out. I feel what must be a gallon of fluids follow him. I’m gasping for air and in shock at the feeling of going from impossibly full to almost empty in a matter of seconds.

The doctor hands my baby to the nurse who brings him to rest on my chest.

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thefloatingstone · 5 years

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Would you please make me a list of your rcommended comics(books or web-series any genre original content or fanworks)

Oh that’s a god one! Thank you so very much 💙 Let me see what I have on my shelf and on my hard drive. (I don’t know if I’ve ever made a list of my favourite comics before or not here on tumblr?)

in no particular order;

1: Usagi Yojimbo by Stan Sakai

I dunno if it ever really shows or not, but Japanese historical settings are something I’m really into! I think it’s one of those dormant interests that flares up every now and then. Anyway. Usagi Yojimbo has basically been tied for my favourite comic for over 10 years now. It’s a series of stories, both short and with longer arcs, following the character of Miyamoto Usagi (roughly based on Miyamoto Musashi) travelling around the country of Japan in the early 1600s as a Ronin after the lord he served was defeated and killed in battle. Usagi, being one of his samurai, is not killed in the same battle which, considering his lord was killed, is a massive disgrace in historical Japanese culture. Basically along the thought of “If your lord died and you didn’t you must not have fought hard enough to protect him.”

Anyway, the comic is both a history lesson on Edo period Japan, a travel diary, a slice of life comic, a Chanbara, an action comic, some times even a horror or ghost story, a tragedy involving unfulfilled love and lost families, a lesson on traditional Japanese Yokai and other mythology, and now and then high fantasy.

10/10. HIGHLY recommend. The author Stan Sakai is also a wonderful person I’ve had the pleasure to meet a few times at Comic Con. And considering he like... remembers who I AM despite being an extremely famous comic artist... I dunno. I have endless respect for the man and he’s shown me great kindness in the past.

Also you know... black and white comics. They’re my jam, yo!

2: Bone by Jeff Smith

I have no idea if I even have to say anything because Bone might just, without hyperbole, be the greatest comic ever drawn.

At 1300+ pages drawn over the course of 10 years, the story starts out as a cartoon, full of hijinks and fun adventures and jokes and very slowly, reality starts setting in, things get more dangerous, the stakes get higher, the bad guys much darker. And by the time you reach book 3 of the 9 book story, you’re suddenly in a story of the “epic” variety. Not in the internet slang term but in the actual definition of the word.

You have massive wars between men and monsters, you have clashing cultures and ideologies, conflicting motivations and goals, and of course saving the world.

And it manages to do so without you EVER feeling “Excuse me but this was a cartoon book about funny jokes. This shift in tone is really weird and doesn’t work with the cartoony characters.”

It just blends and grows beautifully. And has remained as my favourite comic for... *counts* lord... 14 years now.

The book was recently released in a new colour version in case you prefer hat, but I honestly recommend “The Brick” single volume black and white version. It’s cheaper, first of all, but also I cannot express how masterful the blacks and whites of Bone are. They’re essentially Watterson level.

(also Jeff Smith is ANOTHER comic artist who is just like... the nicest person. Like REALLY nice. He’s been kind to me on occasions in that “you really didn’t have to be that nice” kind of way)

3: The Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck by Don Rosa

It’s published by Disney officially... but the Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck is essentially a fancomic. The only reason its not is because Don Rosa became SO GOOD at making duck comics Disney hired him to make them officially and he was SO GOOD at it became one of the most important Duck artists just after Carl Barks (the creator of Scrooge) himself.

The Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck is a comprehensive biography of Scrooge McDuck’s life, not just made up by Don Rosa, but pieced together from Carl Barks’ own comics where he would have Scrooge make passing mention to events in his past or people he met. Don Rosa essentially took all these passing remarks and mentions and drew out a timeline, starting with Scrooge age 13 leading all the way up to his reunion with his family when Donald as an adult met up with him again.

It starts with Scrooge, from a poor family in Glasgow in 1877, boarding a ship for America to seek his fortune. We follow him through the years as with each chapter, he comes close to being rich and successful, only for it to fail or fall apart at the last minute, until, eventually, we see him catch his break and become the obscenely rich and successful person he’s fought and worked and bled so hard to be.

...and then the comic continues. And we see him lose himself. Greed, the constant need for MORE money and MORE success keeps going. The need to show HOW rich and successful he is takes over, until we see him and his family fall apart. And the comic echoes Citizen Kane as Scrooge realises the best time of his life was when he was seeking riches, not after he finally succeeded.

And then Donald and his nephews appear, and Scrooge’s life gets a second wind. His lust for adventure flares up again, his need to seek fortunes and treasures burns as strong as ever. And he keeps going.

The Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck is a story about looking for your place in the world and fighting to create it with your own two hands, but it’s also about how you should think hard where you place your value in life, and it’s never too late to re-direct course and try again.

There is also “The Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck Companion” which is a collection of stories that didn’t fit in with the original comic and would have disrupted flow. Basically like how a fanfic will have oneshots related to a larger story

Also, the producer of the band “Nightwish” created a soundtrack to accompany the original comic as a sort of “What If” in what he imagined the story would sound like if it was made into a movie

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4: Cucumber Quest by Gigi D.G. ( @ggdgart )

A newer comic I stumbled upon which has skyrocketed into being a fave and I can already tell, that’s not a position it’s gonna relinquish. Cucumber Quest is a more cartoony and comedic story than the previous comics on this list. But that by no means makes it of any less value or dulls the moments that this comic decides to punch you in the gut with emotions HARD.

The art and colours are glorious and something I hope to study so I can better my own art hopefully, and the writing and humour is of a calibre that I just know I could not replicate it if I even tried. Full of puns, absurdism, awkward jokes and a whole lot of FEELINGS, It manages to make me both laugh myself into a coughing fit as often as it makes me yell “OH NOOOO!!!” when something dramatic happens.

The story follows our main character Cucumber, a put-upon out-of-his-depth wizard-to-be who is tasked with saving the world from the evil Nightmare Knight who has been summoned from his thousand year slumber by an evil sorcerer who wants to take over the world (as you do). With him is his little sister, the sword wielding Almond, who is WAY more into this “being a hero” thing than he is (and probably better at it too) as the duo make friends and travel to the various kingdoms to defeat the Nightmare Knight’s lackeys, working their way up to fighting the Nightmare Knight himself and sealing him away once more!

That all sounds.... really straightforward, doesn’t it? Well... that’s what everybody else in the comic thinks too. ...Shame that real life is never easy and straightforward.

From evil henchmen that start crushing on cool “Good Guys” with cool swords, good guys who don’t REALLY want to hurt the bad guys because they don’t seem so bad? To cool good guys with cool swords suddenly learning that being in danger is not as much fun as it sounded when they started this. To big evil final boss bad guys who are just tired of all of this...

What’s also awesome is the entire comic... all OVER 800 PAGES OF IT... is completely free to read online! But you can also buy physical copies of the first 4 volumes in book form to support the author!

http://cucumber.gigidigi.com/cq/page-1/

I HIGHLY recommend this one too! It has canon LGBT characters! It has found family plots! It has scary bad guys that just need a hug! It has magical girl transformations! Literally anything you could want is in this comic. Including emotional wrecking angst! Did I mention FEELINGS???

(I couldn’t pick a single page so here are 3 random ones without context. Seriously almost EVERY page is so good I struggled very hard to choose)

5: The Property of Hate by @modmad

Hey. Do you like fantasy worlds made of imagination? How about protagonists with grey morality who act like super primand proper gentlemen when they’re actually huge nerds? How about reluctant “Well I guess I’ve ADOPTED you now you annoying gremlin” adult-kid relationships? How about puns? How about abstract and colourfull character designs? Or saving the world?

The Property of Hate is Modmad’s original comic that they’ve been working on a few years now. it follows our lead character, RGB or “Problematic Mary Poppins” as I like to think of him, as he asks a young child if she’d like to be a hero and help him save his world? When she agrees, he takes her to a fantasy land... completely NOT preparing her for what she’s signed up for. The story then follows the duo through the abstract and shifting world as RGB slowly divulges information on what exactly our Hero has to do to save the world. It turns out it’s a lot more complicated and messy than merely “beat the bad guy” or anything like that.

Not to mention it seems this fantasy world has its own rules of reality and dangers. Emotions and abstract thoughts have real physical form here, and something like an “idea” can quite literally run around and create havoc, while something like dreams can fuel or destroy, and emotions like grief can cause irreparable damage.

Our Hero also learns RGB himself is a lot more complex and messy than he first appears. Seeming to be a good person trying to do good things (despite being a little stand offish and rude at times) but seems to also be carrying a past and the weight of having done some very very bad things “for the greater good”. And our Hero, as well as we, the readers, start wondering how much we should trust him, even though, just like our Hero, deep deep down we just know we WANT to trust him. And maybe he needs saving just as much as the world itself does. Even when he’s at his scariest and... not quite himself.

The Property of Hate is also available online completely for free. Modmad does have books for sale but I believe it’s on-demand or something along those lines. Please feel free to message them here on tumblr and they are happy to chat to their readers and interact.

http://thepropertyofhate.com/TPoH/The%20Hook/1

I think I’ll leave it there despite meaning to do 10 at first because this is already EXTREMELY long.

Hopefully you found something that seems interesting! Let me know if you decide to check any of these out and whether you ended up liking them or not! I’d love to hear your opinions.

And thank you for indulging me <3

(I’m trying to remember to add my ko-fi link to all longer posts like this I make. Especially since I keep forgetting ☕️Buy me a Ko-fi ☕️ )

#lucymelonbun #C-Puff answers #Long post #image heavy #Comics #comic recommendations #comic recs #I added a read more to this post but tumblr ate it so whatever #thank you for letting me ramble about stuff I like #I feel better <3

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lovelylemontrash · 7 years

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my thoughts while watching Netflix Death Note

so I decided to just write down everything that’s going through my head while I watch this sin of a movie

spoilers and lots of swearing. I don’t think this will make any sense, but whatever

*Netflix presents* oh fuck this!

oh the music is nice

is that Mis- Mia being a grumpy cheerleader??!

what is up with this wannabe edgy intro??

oh fuck. it's Turner.

ohh he so smart 🤢🤢- wait did he..... did he take money to write other people's homework?

I hate Mia so much already.

she's smoking????!!!!?!?

*Turner and Mia look at each other* FUCK OFF!

why is the Death Note logo a disco light??

there's a storm just because the Death Note fell to the ground???

also why did they make the Note so ugly?

god.... I haven't even passed three minutes yet.........

*Mia pushing a bully* YEAH! I still hate you though 🤷🏻‍♀️

the first time Turner talks and he's just yelling. fuck. you.

Turner actively looking for a fight and Mia laughing about is honestly the worst.

Turner is swearing?- oh my god! YES! he just got punched in the face!!

hold on. did Mia just leave him on the ground passed out in the rain? good.

??? does Mia have a different boyfriend??

we finally reached 5 minutes (and 23 seconds) I don't think I can do this.

at least there's an apple

Turner being a wannabe bad boy™ makes me wanna puke

*Turner reads the first rule of DN* "whoa" me: actually laughs out loud

Ryuk having an extra™ entrance. the only good thing.

Turner's fucking scream when he sees Ryuk made me laugh-scream

Turner you're a fucking loser being scared of Ryuk like that.

god....... I still love Ryuk

fucking Kenny....

Turner: "I don't have a pen." Ryuk: I got you. Turner, internally: FUCK

that was way more gore than I expected omg!

hold the fuck up. Ryuk's not doing this out of boredom??

did the teacher have no problem with the classroom being a mess??

WHERE IS SAYU?

*sees Dad Turner* fuck you and fuck off.

Turner and Dad Turner fighting is bullshit.

Turner: "Don't trust REI-YUK" me: excUSE ME? WHO?

fucking Rei-yuk......

ok. I'll admit. Turner offering Ryuk an apple is nice stuff.

Ryuk: "Its pronounced Ryuk." me: oh thank god.

Ryuk??? actually???? knowing the rules???? incredible.

why can't he just let them die from a heart attack gdi

at least Ryuk's having fun

Dad Turner being happy about someone dying????

me: god I hate everything about this Dad Turner: "Love you, son." me: I...... am not..... crying.....

did Ryuk just do the fucking caveman Spongebob pose

fuck off Mia!

why is Mia like that

Mia: what's a Death Note Turner: a whaaat??? never heard of it before. don't know what you mean..... but ok I'll tell you me: honestly what the fuck

Mia not being able to see Ryuk is hilarious tbh

Turner just trusting Mia right away???? dumb.

Mia: I should NOT BE TURNED ON BY THAT

I really hate everything and everyone about this movie. fuck.

oh god they're making out. ABORT MISSION.

are we gonna get to know more about the old owners of the Note? I hope so.

oh no. there having sex. stop please.

Turner: "[Kira] means "light" in Russian and Celtic" me: um, no, please fuck off.

Turner: "It also sort of means "killer" in Japanese" me: FUCK. OFF. PLEASE.

he can't name himself. that's bullshit.

he's trying to make them think he's Japanese?? Are you... fucking... kidding me??!??!

when they're suddenly speaking German and you scream

ok. 30 minutes done. starting to see it as some fucked up comedy/parody

L is here..... let's see how it goes....

L....... speaking....... Japanese......? thank you.

Is Turner just killing whoever he wants without an actual plan or something?

am I actually....... liking..... L?

ok but why is the Turner house so big?

it's ya boi Watari in the house. nice.

oh. classic L logo.

L: "He wants us to believe that he's Japanese [...] he's not." me: *doesn't know if I should laugh or cry, so I just scream*

Turner and Mia are just casually talking about that stuff in class?? secrecy maybe???

I hate this relationship.

Watari just fucking handed Dad Turner and ice cream cone I'm yelling!!

Turner: "oh shit." me: I know, right?

the US flag aggressively blowing in the wind behind L........ why?

L: yea I'm gonna appear on live TV that's a good idea

Ryuk: "Now I'm rooting for this guy." Turner: "Would you shut the fuck up?" me: AHAHAHAHA

Ryuk just laughing because he knows Turner is fucked is a big mood

L: then I'd be dead sweaty :)

there's a shit ton of thunder in this movie

Dad Turner: "Wata-ree" me: >:(

funnily enough, L seems to be the most accurate to the original.....

Turner: "Stop fucking around with the Deat Note." me: pleASE!

Turner: "we don't kill innocent people, Mia." me: ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT

omg is Mia gonna steal the Note??!

ok. at least the music isn't bad.

Ryuk wants Turner to get rid of the Note and I'm living

*Ryuk threatening Turner* me: *already throwing the biggest party*

I. Fucking. Hate. Mia. Sutton.

me: I hate both Turners. So. Much. *Turner hugs his dad* me: I......... hate..........

L: "Light Turner is Kira." me: oh? I mean, yes! I..? just.. like that..? ok.

them showing original Ryuk is just a reminder that I could've used this time to finally watch the DN anime.......

oh no. I actually like this L...

L removing his mask made me scream.

Mia: "I'm a fucking cheerleader." me: >:/

also the whole "killing Ryuk by writing his name in the Note" thing? bullshit.

his name isn't just Watari??? wth????

"the target will be spared" um??? what???? no!!

Watari has tattoos I'm screaming

but nice way to put in the whole orphanage plot...

nevermind. that's fucked up.

L worrying about Watari? good shit.

why does L have that sad look with his sad eyebrows?? what is this??

L almost crying made me almost cry

L: "Your son is Kira, James!" why does this sentence sound so wrong..? oh. because they fucking called him James.

...a white policeman threatening a young black man................. hm.

I made it through an hour. about forty minutes to go. wish me luck.

I can't believe they managed to make Ryuk ooc......

Turner is kinda stupid, isn't he..? did he really not figure out that Mia took the Note?

are they trying to turn this into a horror movie? with the damn orphanage??

snek

They really put a fucking high school dance part in this movie I can't believe it

I'm watching with subtitles and just.... [Io Echo's "Stalemate" plays] mmmmmmthIS TIME STALEMATE BUT JUST!! YOU!!! WAAAAIIIT!!!! ... I should be watching the musical rn....

I AM SCREAMING!!! Mia has a fucking "Normal people scare me" thing in her locker!!! THIS EXPLAINS EVERYTHING!!

whyy do they keep saying wataree??

🎶 take my breath away 🎶 🎶 take my breath away 🎶

Mia what the fuck?! also Turner why are you so fucking stupid?

is L gonna kill Turner?? Is he gonna fucking do it?? Fuck yeah!!

oh! cute detail: Turner runs to the PC room and on the wall it says, really big: "RULES"!

ah. we're finally getting to the big climax with the ferris wheel

L driving through a sign that reads "Drive slow. Drive safe."

this chase scene is way too long and unnecessary...

SHOOT HIM SHOOT HIM!!!

FUCK. OFF! stupid asshole just knocked out L

we're at the wheel and I hate everything

Turner: "If you love me.." me: shut up. shut. the. Hell. UP.

Mia just took the Note. and i can't even put into words all the thoughts I have about how fucking stupid these two are.

can they both just die. please.

welp

...did they just take that one scene from amazing Spider-Man where they're falling........

0/10 too many flowers

ok Mia is dead. bye bitch.

and of fucking course Turner doesn't die fucking shit

new Kira :/

so Turner is in a coma and they're trying to put L in jail .... :/

noooo he got the Note back no no noohohooh

he fucking woke up :/

oh fuck Dad Turner figured it out!!

Turner using rapists and child molesters to help him is kind of.......... hm.

L found the page!!

shut the fuck up Turner

oh no!! L can't kill Turner because they added that whole bullshit. fuck.

Ryuk: "You humans are so interesting." me: it's too late, Ryuk. even you couldn't save this movie.

the credits actually look kinda nice hmm...

oh wow. I survived.

final thoughts?

-way worse than I was already suspecting, somehow

-Mia was the worst character ever

-I didn't think I could hate anyone more than Light Yagami, but then Turner appeared

-L was.......... really nice. I like him. And I can explain why, but I'm just too exhausted rn

-they......... kinda ruined Ryuk which makes me really smad because I love him so much...

-overall: huge pile of bullshit; don't think I can ever watch this again, not even as a joke

-I need to listen to the musical on loop now to cleanse myself

#death note #netflix #Netflix Death Note #death Note Netflix #death note review #netflix death note review #netflix death note spoilers #death note spoilers

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kassna · 7 years

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The Rogue One novel, schaloime and I: A Christmas cry fest

Sooo around Christmas I read the Rogue One novelization. And because I lost it at the first few pages already I decided that I couldn’t suffer through this perfection alone and started texting quotes and comments to @schaloime (mainly KRENNIC ALL THE WAY)... And, well. I don’t want to lose this list of hilarity and heartbreak, so I’m posting it now for everyone’s amusement. :D (Comments are of course translated from a wild English/German mix and a bit edited, but convey the fun we’ve had really well. X’D)

This book gets a very high recommendation from me, just saying before the cut! I love it to pieces, it even made my second trip to the cinema a lot better and gave me so much! 11/10 pathetic wine mom Orsons, would (and will) read again

(Come yell with me about it, please!)

He had killed a city. He could kill a world.

Boy, Krennic is such a pathetic squabbling schoolboy X'D lots of fun when he’s pleased about something he did well, like "I AM THE MASTER OF THE UNIVERSE fuck off Tarkin noooo" When they’re in the same room he’s always THIS CLOSE to stomping his foot, crossing his arms and whining

He felt like he finally deserved some attention from the emperor.

What is this book. Help.

[insert a lot of fangirling about the way the characters are written, how you’re in a different head with each part/chapter and how they all have clearly different ways of thinking and decision-making]

He’d settled himself in his seat with a glass of wine and a datapad by the time they’d left the docking bay.

Already the second scene in which Krennic lounges around and drinks wine. (This time the flight to Eadu, first time was after work on the Death Star. He also apparently likes to walk miles and miles through the construction and is quite pleased about having built all this and knowing every lil detail.)

Galen Erso, whom he’d given every chance. Galen Erso, whom he’d nearly died for once on that sad scrap of farmland. “I thought we were past this,” Krennic murmured to himself, with a bitter smile."

Just in - Krennic’s fuckin’ gay for Galen (as if we didn’t know that) and ALWAYS thinks about either him or Tarkin.

He’s really like HALF OF THE FANON!HUX headcanons I’ve encountered in fics. [slime and I began to flail helplessly because we can’t handle him. spoiler: we didn’t really stop screaming until the end.]

During the flight to Eadu, Krennic had stoked the fury in his heart. Fueled by outrage and humiliation, its fire burned bright enough to warm him in the chill that swept through the shuttle.

... Am I reading fanfic for real now or what.

Krennic smiled acidly and said the words he had selected with care aboard the shuttle:

Also just in: Krennic spent the trip to Eadu drinking wine and writing a speech. An epic speech:

“Gentlemen. One of you has betrayed the Empire. One of you conspired with a pilot to send messages to the Rebellion. I urge that traitor to step forward.”

Krennic. How often did you practice that in front of a mirror until you made sure you won’t forget a single word of it?

If by some miracle Cassian got off a second shot, he decided Krennic would make an excellent target. The Empire could only be improved by the loss of another high-ranking blowhard.

GOOD BOY. (Cassian’s thoughts are really interesting in general.)

“Very well,” Krennic said. “I’ll consider it a group effort, then.” The words were cruel and sweet. Krennic felt no shame in deriving satisfaction from justice ruthlessly applied.

PLEASE. slime: gaaaaaaaaay

He looked down at himself and straightened his uniform with a tug. He noted black smudges from smoke and charred metal, a patch of red where someone—probably him—had bled. He wondered if he would have time to clean up before arriving. Or maybe Lord Vader would respect a man who’d seen combat.

Or: Krennic fainted right after entering the shuttle for departure from Eadu, got the order to go to Mustafar upon waking and dives headfirst into the REALLY IMPORTANT QUESTIONS. I wish I were kidding.

Was Vader mad? Was this his homeworld? Perhaps he wasn’t human beneath his armor; perhaps that forbidding black suit did more than replace lungs and limbs damaged in battle, and instead allowed a creature born in magma to survive the chill of space. Or maybe he lived on Mustafar because he enjoyed burning his victims alive.

... Krennic lands on Mustafar and has some thoughts about how Extra™ Vader is.

Vader had let him live. Vader had judged him too valuable to kill—and by extension, the Emperor recognized his value as well. Tarkin’s mutiny, his seizure of the Death Star, had been forestalled. And Krennic had yet to reveal Tarkin’s greatest error—how in destroying Jedha City, Tarkin had failed to blockade the moon, failed to ensure against survivors. For how else could the rebels have infiltrated Eadu? The traitorous pilot had come from Eadu and fled to Jedha; his message had escaped. Only Tarkin could be held responsible for that.

Oh BOY. Hubris much? slime: “ "Look at me, Look at me!" me: Everyone else in this book has thoughts that are more than that pathetic blubbering. Even JYN, who’s at war with her hatred for everyone who’s ever left her, EVEN HER WHO HAS BEEN A REAL EGOIST UP UNTIL NOW. But nooooo, Krennic is the only Special Snowflake™ in the universe. At least in his own head.

He was ready to leave the madhouse that was Mustafar, but he was suddenly uncertain he could ever escape Vader’s shadow.

How about you don't even try.

She held back a laugh and looked to Cassian. The man who’d betrayed her. The man who’d admitted his guilt and decided to fight for her. He saw her staring and looked back at her quizzically. It wasn’t how betrayals were supposed to go.

U don't say.

It was a bad plan. It had all been a bad plan, of course, starting with Galen’s message and ending with this unauthorized raid on Scarif. Now he was, what—defecting from his defection? If he survived, he’d be an Imperial traitor and a rebel mutineer. He’d be lucky to see the inside of a Yavin prison cell.

Bodhi, talking a mile a minute even in his thoughts. But he’s happy that there are most likely no mind-reading tentactle monsters on Yavin... At least something.

She almost winced when she looked at Cassian, wearing an officer’s suit and cap like they were perfectly tailored. Even the code cylinder in his pocket was at a regulation angle.

Jyn has her priorities straight. Always get a look while you can.

He stood at a metaphorical cliff’s edge, stamping his foot in an effort to cause an avalanche. With Galen Erso’s treachery undone, he would gain the allegiance of Vader. With Vader’s backing, he would expose the incompetence of Tarkin—the revelation of rebel survivors from Jedha. With Tarkin humiliated, Krennic’s command of the Death Star would be uncontested, and he would confer with the Emperor himself as to how it might best be used. Krennic would be, in every way that mattered, the most powerful and decorated man in the Empire.

I... Wait, what. Krennic, daydreaming.

Grand Moff Wilhuff Tarkin made it a point not to dwell on the flamboyant ambitions of Orson Krennic. Over the course of more than a decade, the director had gone from a nuisance to a genuine threat and back again, all the while demanding far more attention than Tarkin was prepared to grant him.

Thoughts from Tarkin! As if Krennic was a lousy annoying little fly.

Cassian had denied him that exquisite sense of purpose and replaced it with individuality. With individuality came doubt and cynicism: an awareness not only of the odds of success or failure but of those outcomes’ repercussions.

Individuality creates cynism. Now I have feels for a droid, thx Kaytoo.

With one second left until total shutdown, K-2SO chose to mentally simulate an impossible scenario in which Cassian Andor escaped alive. The simulation pleased him.

KAY. T___T

[everyone’s last sentence in their last part is amazing tbh]

As he emerged from the command center, two death troopers fell into step behind him and he thought of another day long before: another planetfall; another squad of troopers; and another danger to his life spawned by Galen. That day on Lah’mu had ended in victory, too. Orson Krennic was going to war.

Drama much! Firm belief now: He has that cape only to imagine himself in such a moment, with that last sentence as caption, for the epic picture he strikes in his own imagination...

But before Baze could fire, Chirrut rose from the bunker and stepped into sunlight.

First thought: oooh why do scenes with those two always feature such impressive pictures in my head Second thought, because the part was over and another person took over: FUCK YOU ALEXANDER FREED FUCK YOU SIDEWAYS I waited the WHOLE DAMN BOOK for a scene from Chirrut’s POV and just accepted that I won’t get one AND YOU DROP THE PART AT THE MAIN SWITCH ON ME FUCK YOU FUCK YOU HARD

[This was also when I started crying. I cried during three books my whole life (I cry frequently at movies, and I read a lot, so it takes a special something for that to happen). Be proud of yourself, Alexander Freed. You wrote *bawled her eyes out*-book #4.)

(...) without the temple he could not truly be a Guardian of the Whills; without joy and frivolity he could not be a clown and jokester among sober peers; without the Holy City he could not be a protector of his beloved world (...)

Fuuuuuck youuuuuu. T____T

He was dying, of course. He felt Baze’s heavy, familiar tread pound the ground, smelled his brother’s sweat as he leaned close. He wanted to say, Baze! My eyes—I can’t see! but Baze Malbus had always needed comfort more than humor.

THIS GUY I S2G.

But of course the Force had reunited them before the end.

Alright, I died, see you on the other side.

At last report, the data vault itself had been breached. It was a show of incompetence so great that Tarkin was almost curious to know how Krennic might explain it away.

Tarkin is a lil bitch sometimes. It’s great.

He was not the Empire—not every moment of oppression and indignity and torment she had ever suffered. He was an Imperial, a petty, spiteful, scared little man who’d forgotten his own atrocities. And he didn’t know her at all. She decided to make him remember.

Jyn can’t read a lot of people, but it seems to be easy for her with Krennic. X’D He only ever was “the man in white from her nightmares” until they finally meet. And up until his death she does know who he is and what role he had in her life - but never his name. Well, Orson. Sucks to be you. No immortal name.

He could follow Galen Erso’s thread through his life. He could see the full extent of the tragedy, the waste of effort on a wasted man. But what about before? He sought refuge in his childhood, tried to recall an Orson whose hopes had not yet been cast in shadow…

KRENNIC. Can’t you even in your LAST SECONDS stop thinking about how deeply ingrained Galen was into your life and how pathetic you were??? THIS GUY.

Orson Krennic, advanced weapons research director and father of the Death Star, died alone on Scarif, screaming in fury at Galen Erso, at Jyn Erso, at Wilhuff Tarkin, and at all the galaxy.

... In his very last moments he imagined himself in full glory on the Death Star, his triumph, and in the middle of those cozy thoughts about his creation, the one thing he knows in and out, he finally noticed what Galen sabotaged. Ooops. Sucks, right?

I cried a lot. Slime cried a lot. And I’ll end this with the one sentence that really stuck with me and won’t leave my head for a long time...

Like a pilot should, he died with his ship.

Goodbye, Bodhi. Not all alone after all.

#Rogue One #rogue one: a star wars story #rogue one novelization #Orson Krennic #Star Wars #I wish I were sorry #not really but yeah #it was a wild ride and I enjoyed every second of it!#book rec #not a review #but a lot of fun #my stuff #friends #thx slime for letting me text you all the screaming :D #you deserved to suffer with me #I still blame you for everything

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kristinsimmons · 6 years

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Nutty Crusted Butternut Squash Bowl with 10-Spice Roasted Chickpeas

I was recently asked by Terra (OSG’s editor extraordinaire) how I came up with this recipe, and after explaining my process to her we both agreed I should share my fun little kitchen story with you on the blog! I often think this stuff is going to be boring so I don’t tend to get into the behind-the-scenes details too often, but I’d love to hear what you think!

This recipe actually began as something totally different. I’d been working on a simplified butternut risotto and, despite a few attempts, it just wasn’t impressing me (okay, I totally have Shania Twain in my head right now). I had planned on trying that recipe one more time before moving on, but just couldn’t shake the feeling of DOOM I had about it. Whenever I’m clouded by this “feeling of doom” and try to force a recipe (ignoring the voices in my head screaming “noooo don’t do it!”), I find it usually winds up being a waste of time anyway. I have to say that the results are almost always still edible and often quite tasty…just not quite good enough to share!

So, putting the risotto aside, I brainstormed something in a totally new direction! I couldn’t get crusted butternut squash out of my head (#weirdo), and thought it would be absolutely amazing to create a nut-and-seed coating for one of my favourite sweet, hearty winter veggies. I thought about my popular eggplant parmesan recipe from Oh She Glows Every Day (page 173) and used that as a jumping off point to get the wheels turning.

But I didn’t want to share the crusted squash recipe on its own as I had a hunch many of you would ask me how to turn these crunchy beauties into a complete meal. I checked my fridge and saw that I had some kale on hand, so I decided to marinate the greens in a creamy dressing for a hearty base. Now what about adding more protein in addition to what the nuts and seeds provide? I’ve been wanting to make spicy roasted chickpeas using my 10-Spice Mix for a while, and thought the pop of heat they bring would be a nice contrast to the the sweet, nutty squash. Bingo!!

Let’s recap: crunchy crusted squash, marinated kale, and 10-Spice roasted chickpeas. Yes, this could be AMAZING!!! Soon enough, a meal was born! This is when I start to get really excited, if you can’t already tell. But then I realize that I have to write up that dang recipe…

After I come up with the complete recipe idea, I type the recipe out in its entirety, visualizing each step as I go along. (This is something I’ve gotten better at as the years have gone by, but I still think it’s probably the most difficult part of the process!) Then I use this detailed recipe draft as as a guide for my first test and any trials thereafter. Each time my recipe tester Nicole and I test the recipe, I make live edits into the working draft on my laptop. (Live editing sounds way more exciting than it is…hah.) Once we both approve of the recipe (Nicole owns her own daycare, so other testers often include children and parents too…score!), I make final recipe edits before Terra and I begin the back and forth of our editing process. I’ve been creating recipes for almost 10 years now, and I find this system helps me deliver consistent and high-quality recipes.

Okay, if you skip right over this and go straight to the recipe, I won’t blame you. It’s all about the food, after all! This recipe is a big one, so reading it over before you begin is especially important. Also, you’ll see it contains a few “mini” recipes within—nutty topping, 10-Spice Roasted Chickpeas, marinated kale, etc.—feel free to make individual components (like the roasted chickpeas or marinated kale) on their own when you’re not up for preparing the full dish. A little mix-and-match, if you will! I don’t want to gush too much, but I really hope you make the whole thing…everyone who tried this recipe RAVED about it (one tester even said it’s possibly her favourite OSG recipe ever!). I could eat it every day, personally. :)

Nutty Crusted Butternut Squash Bowl

Vegan, gluten-free, grain-free, refined sugar-free, soy-free

This hearty dish is filled with so many amazing crunchy, chewy textures—the crispy roasted chickpeas and nutty butternut coating are a delightful contrast to the soft squash and chewy kale. The flavours are out of this world: there’s sweetness from the squash and pure maple syrup, pops of tangy lemon and savoury garlic, and smokiness from the spiced chickpeas. Because there are a few components, this recipe is perfect for the weekend when you have a bit of extra time on your hands. If you’re like me, you’ll find yourself dreaming about these nutty crusted butternut squash wedges and wanting to put them on just about everything!

Yield 4 generous servings

Prep time 25 Minutes

Cook time 50 Minutes

Total time 1 Hour, 15 Minutes

Ingredients:

For the nutty crust topping:

1 large garlic clove

6 tablespoons (53 g) hemp hearts

6 tablespoons (50 g) raw hazelnuts

3/4 cup (57 g) raw cashews

3/4 cup (38 g) raw walnuts

3 tablespoons (15 g) nutritional yeast

1 1/4 teaspoons fine sea salt

For the butternut squash:

1 small/medium (2 to 2 1/2 pound) butternut squash*

1 1/2 tablespoons arrowroot powder**

6 tablespoons (90 mL) extra-virgin olive oil

For the 10-Spice Roasted Chickpeas:

1 (14-ounce/398 mL) can chickpeas, drained and rinsed

1/2 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil

1 tablespoon 10-Spice Mix***

For the marinated kale:

1 medium (300 to 350 g) bunch curly kale

1 small garlic clove, finely grated on a microplane

1 tablespoon (15 mL) extra-virgin olive oil

1 teaspoon (5 mL) pure maple syrup, or to taste

1/4 teaspoon fine sea salt

3 tablespoons (45 mL) fresh lemon juice, plus lemon wedges for serving

1 tablespoon (15 mL) tahini, plus more for serving

Directions:

Position two oven racks near the middle of the oven and preheat oven to 375°F (190°C). Line two large baking sheets with parchment paper and set aside.

Prepare the nutty crust topping: Add the garlic clove to a food processor and process until minced. Now add the hemp hearts, hazelnuts (no need to remove skins!), cashews, walnuts, nutritional yeast, and salt to the processor and pulse the mixture until coarsely ground with some larger chunks of nuts (the mixture should be the texture of large-flake sea salt). Be careful not to overprocess the nuts as you want the topping to be crunchy. Spoon all of the mixture into a large shallow bowl.

Peel the squash and halve it lengthwise. Use a spoon to remove and discard the seeds inside. Slice each half into thin 3/4-inch wedges.

Now we’re going to coat the wedges in the nutty crust topping, and I’ll warn you in advance that this is a messy, imperfect process...but the result is delicious, so don’t sweat it! To start, in a shallow bowl, whisk the arrowroot powder and oil together until smooth. Use a pastry brush to generously brush the oil mixture onto a single squash wedge until it’s completely coated in oil (or simply dip the wedge into the oil and toss to coat). Immediately transfer the oil-coated wedge to the bowl of nutty crust topping. Using your fingers, heap the mixture onto the top and sides of the wedge until it’s covered completely. Be generous! Press the topping into the wedge so that there’s a thick coating. (And it’s totally normal for some topping to fall off in spots.) If you find your fingers covered in the topping, rinse and dry them as needed.

Repeat this process for all of the wedges, placing each one gently on the baking sheet as you go and leaving about 2 inches of space between. If you run out of topping, you can reserve leftover wedges for another use or coat them in oil and roast them alongside the topping-coated wedges as directed.

Prepare the 10-Spice Roasted Chickpeas: Place the drained and rinsed chickpeas onto a tea towel and roll the chickpeas around until they’re dry. Spread the chickpeas onto the second baking sheet and toss with the oil. Sprinkle on the 10-Spice Mix and toss the chickpeas again until coated evenly.

Place both baking sheets into the oven. Roast the chickpeas for about 30 to 35 minutes until lightly golden and then remove them from the oven. Roast the squash for a total of 40 to 55 minutes (I bake for about 50 minutes), until fork tender and lightly golden. I suggest testing the squash around the 40-minute mark and keeping a close eye on it thereafter.

While the chickpeas and squash are roasting, prepare the marinated kale. Rinse the kale leaves and use absorbent tea towels to pat dry. Separate the stems from the kale and discard. Tear the kale into bite-sized pieces and transfer to a very large mixing bowl. In a small bowl, whisk the garlic, olive oil, maple syrup, salt, lemon, and tahini until smooth. Pour the dressing over the kale and “massage” until fully coated. Feel free to enjoy the marinated kale raw or use a skillet to heat it up. (I like to sauté mine if I have time!) Set aside.

For serving: Divide the marinated kale into 4 large shallow bowls and top each with a few squash wedges along with a large spoonful of roasted chickpeas. Drizzle a tablespoon of tahini onto each bowl and top with a few generous squeezes of lemon juice too. You can serve the bowls with lemon wedges on the side if preferred. Oh, and if there is nutty topping remaining on the baking sheet, feel free to sprinkle it over the bowls so nothing goes to waste.

Tips:

* I recommend using a butternut squash on the smaller side here because a large squash (2 1/2 pounds or more) won’t leave enough nutty crust topping to go around.

** Cornstarch should work as an alternative to arrowroot powder.

*** For the 10-Spice Mix, use this recipe from the blog or on page 284 of The Oh She Glows Cookbook. Feel free to omit the white pepper for a slightly less spicy version.

If you’re not including the roasted chickpeas, please note that the squash will bake more quickly in the oven alone.

Have leftover roasted squash? It’s great thrown into a wrap the next day!

As always, you can find this recipe in The Oh She Glows Recipe App as well! The app is available on iOS and Android.

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susantregre · 6 years

Text

Nutty Crusted Butternut Squash Bowl with 10-Spice Roasted Chickpeas

I was recently asked by Terra (OSG’s editor extraordinaire) how I came up with this recipe and after explaining my process to her, we both agreed I should share my fun little kitchen story with you on the blog! I often think this stuff is going to be boring so I don’t tend to get into the behind-the-scenes details too often, but I’d love to hear what you think!

Nutty Crusted Butternut Squash Bowl

Vegan, gluten-free, grain-free, refined sugar-free, soy-free

Yield 4 generous servings

Prep time 25 Minutes

Cook time 50 Minutes

Total time 1 Hour, 15 Minutes

Ingredients:

For the nutty crust topping:

1 large garlic clove

6 tablespoons (53 g) hemp hearts

6 tablespoons (50 g) raw hazelnuts

3/4 cup (57 g) raw cashews

3/4 cup (38 g) raw walnuts

3 tablespoons (15 g) nutritional yeast

1 1/4 teaspoons fine sea salt

For the butternut squash:

1 small/medium (2 to 2 1/2 pound) butternut squash*

1 1/2 tablespoons arrowroot powder**

6 tablespoons (90 mL) extra-virgin olive oil

For the 10-Spice Roasted Chickpeas:

1 (14-ounce/398 mL) can chickpeas, drained and rinsed

1/2 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil

1 tablespoon 10-Spice Mix***

For the marinated kale:

1 medium (300 to 350 g) bunch curly kale

1 small garlic clove, finely grated on a microplane

1 tablespoon (15 mL) extra-virgin olive oil

1 teaspoon (5 mL) pure maple syrup, or to taste

1/4 teaspoon fine sea salt

3 tablespoons (45 mL) fresh lemon juice, plus lemon wedges for serving

1 tablespoon (15 mL) tahini, plus more for serving

Directions:

Position two oven racks near the middle of the oven and preheat oven to 375°F (190°C). Line two large baking sheets with parchment paper and set aside.

Peel the squash and halve it lengthwise. Use a spoon to remove and discard the seeds inside. Slice each half into thin 3/4-inch wedges.

Tips:

* I recommend using a butternut squash on the smaller side here because a large squash (2 1/2 pounds or more) won’t leave enough nutty crust topping to go around.

** Cornstarch should work as an alternative to arrowroot powder.

*** For the 10-Spice Mix, use this recipe from the blog or on page 284 of The Oh She Glows Cookbook. Feel free to omit the white pepper for a slightly less spicy version.

If you’re not including the roasted chickpeas, please note that the squash will bake more quickly in the oven alone.

Have leftover roasted squash? It’s great thrown into a wrap the next day!

As always, you can find this recipe in The Oh She Glows Recipe App as well! The app is available on iOS and Android.

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