Reveal because Noctis and Phe both have an allergy to this one very specific, weirdly uncommon thing. In fact, most LC have this allergy.
His best friend isn’t always smiling or anything, but it’s still weird to walk into class and see him scowling down at a sheet of paper. Phe is the most laidback guy Noctis knows - though maybe that isn’t hard, when his competition is Gladio and Iggy who are intense on a good day - and to see him visibly frustrated rather than just shrugging it off because things happen has him pausing for a heartbeat.
Then, because this is his best friend, Noct slips into the seat beside him with a nudge of their shoulders and a: “You alright?”
“I lost my medic alert tag.”
He blinks. “Your what?” He asks stupidly, even though he knows what a medic alert tag is. Why did Phe need a medic alert tag? Why didn’t he know? Fuck he’s a bad friend what if Phe had had an accident or there had been an emergency and-
“It’s my own fault; I probably should have checked the bracelet before I went swimming in that lake with Aunt Lena but I forgot and it broke. Now I have to get a new one.”
“Makes sense,” Noct says slowly, glancing between Phe and the sheet of paper in front of him. “Is the form complicated or something?” His own tags are Citadel issued, after all, and have been for as long as he can remember. He has no idea how other people even get them.
“Nah, the thing I’m allergic to is just- complicated as anything to spell and it doesn’t even look like a real word. look at this thing, Noct!”
A piece of paper is shoved under his nose.
Noct bites back the urge to sneeze, the edge tickling at his skin, and grabs it to pull it away from his face and-
He freezes.
“Are you sure that’s what you’re allergic to?” The words taste like mud on his tongue as he stares at the complicated string of letters printed carefully on the page.
The very familiar string of letters.
Phe rolls his eyes, a grin flashing across his lips. “I know, right! It doesn’t even sound like a real thing, but apparently it’s a sedative of some kind? My dad’s allergic real bad to it so they tested me when I was a baby and ta-da!”
Huh, he thinks.
“Meds always have annoying names like that,” he says, still staring at the string of letters on the page.
If he pulled his own alert tag out from underneath his shirt, he’d see the same word, etched into the metal. It’s not that weird. It can’t be. Loads of people share allergies.
It doesn’t mean anything.
Just- Noct remembers his doctors talking about how rare being allergic to this specific medication is. So rare there’s not even any numbers on it.
He’s never even heard of anyone being allergic to it outside him and his dad, and even with them the doctors don’t think it’s a true allergy. More… their magic reacting badly to it.
“Noct?”
What are the odds of Phe and his father both being allergic to that one specific medication?
“Noct, you alright?”
A hand lands on his arm.
He blinks.
Phe stares at him, a frown on his lips, blue eyes dark with concern and-
Oh.
I need to speak to dad.
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i find it so strange. i've grown a lot as a person, especially in the past year and I'm having to readjust how I see myself.
I think the reason why its hard is that I still mostly think the same. Have the same anxious thoughts, feel the same frustrations and all that. but externally I am confident, I take initiative, I'm a lot more resiliant. I had my confidence knocked a little bit the other day when the GP running a training afternoon overwhelmed me but honestly that wasnt my fault I was fine.
I'm not sure what its supposed to feel like though.. maybe i'm still in the "faking it" stage before I can actually "make it". My overthinking will always be with my though but maybe itll be quieter.
It is a little sad that being able to talk to doctors, talk to patients, talk to fucking anyone in public without panicking or stumbling, without terrible heart palpitations is such an achievement for me. but honestly i dont really care.
wish there were little achievements in life
Social anxiety cured
Would make it clear to me how ive changed. but unfortunately not. Change also happens so slowly, you dont even realise how far youve come until you look back. Im still stuck with the autism though so itll never be easy. but it certainly is easier.
also honestly hate that exposure therapy works >:') rude and cruel and unfair. why were they right.
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Dunno, but I sort of want to change my URL... I still love Ollie Reeder very much and will always do so, but I feel like it's time for a change? Also, the last change was almost three years ago...
Problem is, I can't think of anything, so...I'd appreciate it if someone could help with an idea (not like anyone will actually do this and I should be able to come up with something by myself lol)
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Idk about anyone else’s experiences but I never dreamed of marrying or holding hands with a guy even as a kid, like??? The thought disgusted me as a child. When I was 11, I was making my Barbie dolls lay on top of each other and also the first time I pictured my teacher topless I felt so horrified and disgusted I literally shut down and a few years later identified as asexual so! That’s my lesbian experience! A lot of guilt and shame, but I never imagined myself with a male character or anything like that even despite it all.
I get some lesbians try to overcorrect and force themselves into a hetero relationship or life, but also I don’t think a woman who pictures a life with a man and has crushes on male celebrities or characters is a lesbian. Idk! Don’t want to gatekeep but I do not relate at ALL to women who are attracted to any man - real or fictional.
i never fantasised about doing that w real or fictional guys but i did TRY to make myself visualise & fantasise about these things but it would just.. never work out how its intended. id just fantasise about a woman in a wedding dress who looks nothing like me (and would imagine her in detail w a clear face n everything) and then like. the man would be in the background like this
if i tried to make myself imagine an actual man (which i did try doing as a teenager bc i was starting to wonder why i could never actually imagine a man), i would just imagine shit like this:
and id end up crying and having a mental crisis over why they always look so ugly and why i cant imagine anything positive about it fhdshfsdh.
but also i was extremely stupid and unaware of my feelings.. i used to write my teacher ms rita poems all the time (when i was 5) and drew myself naked go-karting with my female arch nemesis (when i was 6) and wrote weird homoerotic stories when i was like 9 but i simply explained all of that stuff away to myself until i was in my teen years
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