Tumgik
#The Avengers fanfic
lis-likes-fics · 1 year
Text
Never Knew You Needed Me
Pairings: Dark!Wanda Maximoff x Reader Word Count: 18.4k words Warnings: NSFW, smut, stalking, masturbation, voyeurism, kidnapping, stockholm syndrome, obsessive/possessive behavior, lesbian sex, strap-on use, somnophilia (so technically dub con), dacryphilia, oral (f receiving), overstim, multiple orgasms, fingering, degradation (name calling), praise kink, scratching, language... A/N: I got a little carried away with this fic but I finally finished and now it is ready for all of you to enjoy! It's been a while since I've written for Wanda, so this has been a joy to work on. I also tried writing in a new perspective, which was really fun! Thank you and happy reading! <3
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My beautiful zajačik.
If only you knew how much you need me.
A new employee at the little café around the block, you were a sweet thing. Every morning, when I come in for my Chai or salted caramel latte, you greet me with a kind smile and kind eyes.
"Welcome back," you'd say. "What am I getting you today, Wanda?"
And I would smile back, memorize the sweetness in your face before replying with my order. Oh, you are beautiful. Your eyes, your lips, your nose, your hair—you are the picture of perfection. My perfect zajačik.
From the first moment I saw you, I knew you were meant to be mine, all mine. You're a little clumsy, nearly dropping the cup in your hand as you pluck it from the stack to write my name along the side. But you are smiley, giggling here and there at your little mishap and apologizing gently as you go along.
Poor thing, I had thought to myself.
I know you love me—or you will. You will love me, crave to be in my protection, held in my arms, close to my heart like some cherished little thing.
You will feel the heat of my love for you, the warmth of my soul protecting your own. You will be mine. As soon as I heard my name fall from your sweet lips, I knew you would be mine.
As I walk up to the little counter where you wait with a black apron and a smile, I feel my heart clenching in my chest. You mutter those same words to me, affection licking each one and drenching it in a saccharine endearment.
"I think I'll have my latte today," I reply warmly, my eyes assessing every inch of what was new.
You wear a new blouse today, one I had watched you buy from the expensive store around the corner. A gift to yourself. Curious that you decided to wear it this Tuesday, your first workday of the week, the first day you would be seeing me again.
Aww, precious thing, I think. She wants to impress me.
"I love your new blouse," I smile, deciding to give you what you want since you have been so sweet as to think of me.
Your smile spreads wider as you grab my cup to write my name on. "Thank you," you chuckle. "I'm glad you like it."
"I love it," I reinforce, almost a correction. Your smile widens. "Anything coming up this week?" I don't want you to stop talking. The sound of your voice is a salve to the noise of humanity around us.
You shrug adorably. "Not that I can think of. Wake up, work, go home, sleep. That's about my schedule for the week. What about you?"
What about me? I stifle my laugh, glancing at my shoes and shaking my head as I bite my lip. I look back up at your sweet gaze. "Entirely uneventful."
You chuckle, looking at me with that hopeful gaze of yours. "Well, then, maybe you and I could figure something out, hm?"
I could kiss you, those pillowy lips which taste of fruit flavored chapstick.
"Maybe," I agree, stepping away from the counter to finally relent to the impatient woman I can feel burning holes into the back of my head. I have no care for her, she is not important, but if I must, I will.
My eyes stay glued to your face as I shift off to the side to allow you your next customer. From where I stand in the little café, waiting for my order, I continue to watch you. So beautiful, so perfect.
You treat everyone with such kindness, so impartial to the follies of man in order to rely on whatever good you can pull from them when they choose to offer it. Do you not get tired? Hungry for more of that virtue held so tightly in the palm of everyone's greedy hands, only to be given in scarcity at exclusively the most necessary times?
If you do, you don't show it. So trusting of humanity. My perfect, foolish zajačik.
But it's okay. Soon, you will not need to worry about such things. Your mind will be put to rest from the horrors of man. I will take you in my arms and give you the only world you will ever need.
But for now, you hand me my latte and a kind farewell, smiling at me all the way out of the door and some time after as well.
~
You roam the aisle, your delicate fingers skimming the spines of a variety of library books. One book is clenched in one hand, held to your chest as you look for another. Pretty and Reckless, a book you picked up last week in search of a good read.
I try not to pull myself away from the bookmark rack too quickly, but you're so pretty. I can't help but to want to hear your precious voice.
"Whatcha reading?" I finally ask as I approach you with just as warm a smile.
You turn to me, and your eyes are as bright as the stars that shine over your apartment in the dead of night. "Wanda!" you exclaim quietly, respectful of the peace of the library. "What are you doing here?"
So precious.
"Well, it is a library. Pretty sure it's public domain," I nearly coo, entranced in the cute little look on your face, the blush rising on your cheeks.
"Right. Um, yeah," you stumble over your words, nervous and awkward and mesmerized by me. Me. The woman I know you love, will love. Soon. "I just finished this book by Charity Ferrel," you shake your head, clearing your thoughts, "it's called Pretty and Reckless."
"Sounds interesting."
You nod excitedly, "It's about this girl named Elise who basically falls for her polar opposite: he's cool and collected, she's fiery and reckless. In the description it says, like, 'He tried to save her. She tried to ruin him.'"
I hum, nodding gently as I cling to every word that falls from your lips. "I might have to check that one out sometime."
You nod again, shifting the book to your other hand. "You should; it's a good read," you smile. You tuck some hair behind your ear, and my fingers itch to do the same, to touch your smooth skin, to caress you. "What about you?" you ask, gesturing toward my own book. "What were you reading?"
"Tell Me to Stop."
"Oh," you hold your breath, so delicate and small. For a moment, I thought I startled you. But, now I see in the darkening of your cheeks, you're enticed by the title.
I knew you would be.
"Charlotte Byrd," I smile. "She owes a debt. He decides she can settle it with a deal: he gets her for a year and she has to do basically anything he tells her to. But," you hang onto my every word like I've put a spell on you, "she refuses to sleep with him. So he promises that, by the end of the year, she'd be begging for it."
Perhaps I got lost in the description a little as I stare at your beautiful face, soft lips parted and eyes focused on me. Either way, you're not affected in any way that tells me to stop.
You breathe a gentle sigh. "Sounds like Stockholm Syndrome."
I raise a brow. "You don't like it?"
"On the contrary," you shift. You recover your smile and shake your head, glancing back and forth between me and your shoes. "You're so much better at descriptions than me."
I shrug my shoulder. "No worries. You're cute." I probably say it with too much fondness, but you shudder at the gentle compliment.
You clear your throat. "Why don't we switch? Read and reconvene?"
I lean forward slightly, just to be a little closer to you as I charm you with a grin. "That sounds like a beautiful idea."
"Great!" you beam. "So…" You struggle to come up with something else to say, to propose a meeting.
That's okay. Once you're officially mine, you'll never have to worry about such things.
"Come back in a week?" I suggest. "Or we could get coffee sometime before then?" I reach out, my movements out of your line of view, and you shudder when my tender touch grazes your wrist.
"Oh," you breathe, "sure!" You think for a moment before reluctantly moving from my embrace in favor of reaching into your purse. You pull out a pen and a crumpled up receipt and write down your number.
"Just…" you finish writing and look up with a smile to offer up the receipt, "feel free to call me anytime?"
I take it, despite the fact that I already have your number memorized.
"Will do," I promise. I hand my book to you, and you take it with a lingering gaze. "Let's go check out."
You agree, beginning to walk at my side. You stiff and lean into my hand when I set it on the small of your back. You're so responsive to my touch, you always have been.
When we gather outside of the library, our new books in our arms, you shuffle in your spot and I watch you with my adoring gaze. "I hope you enjoy the book," you smile sincerely.
"I'm sure I will. You suggested it. I trust your taste."
"Oh, uh, thanks." You lick your bottom lip and roll it between your teeth. You look at me again, a twinge of regret lingering in your gaze as you offer a gentler grin. "I should probably go."
Aww, you don't want to leave me. But that's okay. It will always be okay. I'll never leave you.
"Okay," I reach out and grab your hand. It's so soft, I can't help but to glide my thumb over the back of your palm. You shudder at my touch as your smile falters.
"I'll be seeing you around, sweetheart."
Your breath trembles and your lips curve up once more. "See you."
I linger there a moment longer than I should before I separate from you and turn on my heel to walk down the street. I feel your eyes gaze after me, and I smile to know you want me so badly to be next to you.
~
This night is still and silent. The stars glint off of your windows and the full moon in the sky gleams with a beauty you easily trump. It is your last day at work for the week, and you had a tendency to stay up a little longer on such nights.
You're so pretty, laying in front of the window just wide enough to showcase your bed, your feet kicked up behind you. Your curtains are wide open, unafraid of the eyes that may wonder into your home. It's like you know I'm here, like you can feel the heat of my gaze over your skin and you crave more. You're reading the book I suggested to you, and you have been reading it for nearly an hour now.
I'm distracted from you as a set of bright headlights shine down the road and onto my car. My smile falls a little when I see it slowing to a stop in front of your home before I realize just what it is: a delivery truck. The man steps out of his truck with a small package, making his way up to your door where he knocks.
You perk up, excited for the expected delivery as you rush out of your room. You disappear from my view for too long before reappearing at the door with one of your kind smiles.
You thank him kindly as he hands you your package before he retreats from the door with the wish of "have a good night". You close the door and disappear for longer than you had before.
When you get back to your room, you turn off the main light and replace it with the gentle glow of your lamp. Your gaze lingered on your package for a moment before you set it on your nightstand. Grabbing your book, you venture to your tiny desk and set it down, gliding your hand over the cover.
You let a gentle sigh pass through your lips, and I watch you sit on your bed and lay back on your sheets. You don't cover yourself with your blanket, and my breath stalls as I watch you brush your hands over the skin of your bare legs uncovered by your tiny shorts. Your palms knead your flesh, dipping in the valley of your thighs and just rubbing the skin as you breathe.
Your hand rubs along the clothed junction of your thighs. Your fingers tease the band before you dip your hand underneath to feel yourself. You're so beautiful, touching yourself with your closed eyes and open curtains.
Your hips shift slightly against your own touch before your relenting, pulling your shorts down your legs and leaving you in nothing but those sweet panties of yours. Your fingertips graze over the fabric, and your legs twitch at the sensations. I watch as your other hand glides along your belly before dipping underneath your shirt and cupping your breast. You grab and grope and flick at your nipple under the shirt as the movements relay to your other hand.
"My sweet girl needs me," I whisper to myself, but I make no move to get out of my car. No, it isn't time yet.
I reach into the glove department, wrapping my hand around the fabric neatly folded in its place. I bring it to my face, inhaling a deep breath as the scent of you fills my brain. On a long exhale, I open my eyes again and raise my hand. The scarlet flicks of my fingers twirls in the air and seeps through your window. "Take your clothes off for me, baby."
My magic reaches you, soaking into your skin and filling you with my will, the will you so desperately need. Like the obedient little toy you are, you obey me and strip down until you are bare for me.
Fuck, you're so pretty. My pretty zajačik.
Your finger glides through your folds before you're circling your little clit. Your body squirms, arching into your hands as your peaked nipples keen to your touch. I want so badly to touch you, to do as you do as you finally press your finger into your little hole.
Immediately, your mouth falls open and a tiny moan leaves from your throat. You grind your hips into your hand and you grab your breast roughly.
I can't help myself, watching your fingers sink in and out of your squelching pussy is like a drug to me. Slipping my hand under the waistband of my jeans, my finger meets my own throbbing clit. I rub gentle circles on it, enough to calm my burning ache for you.
You fuck yourself with your fingers, and the sound of your wetness dripping from your cunt is hypnotic.
But then you stop, and you pull your fingers from yourself. I watch, curious as to what has pushed you to stop granting yourself the pleasure you so desperately deserve.
And then she sees you reach for your nightstand, grabbing the package you'd just received. Opening it with trembling hands, you slowly reveal the new toy you'd gotten. It's crude, a red dildo of no impressive size, but nothing particularly disappointing. My lips quirk into a smirk and I lean forward toward my window to watch you.
You stare at it for a moment, catching your breath as you stroke it in the palm of your wet hand. With bated breath, you position the thing between your legs, gliding it through your soaking folds to lather it in your arousal.
And when you poke it inside of you, you stifle a moan. I watch with vivid fascination as you take it inside of you, inch by inch, until it is sheathed all the way to the hilt. You let out a breath, breaking off into a moan.
My finger digs inside of me, pressing through my wet folds and filling me as I curl and pump it in and out of my hole in rhythm with the dildo inside of your own. You're reduced to gasps and moans, whimpering around the length that fills you.
"Oh, baby," I moan. My sweet little zajačik just needs someone to fuck her, doesn't she?
As if you can hear me all the way from where I watch, you moan and gasp out a chant of yes, yes, yes. Your finger keeps circling your clit, bringing you closer and closer to that explosive release you so crave.
My fingers curl and I clench around them, sucking them in as I ride my hand like you ride your new toy. I can feel myself getting closer, and closer, and closer. I need you, just like you need me.
Your gasps are short and rough, your hips are stuttering, your back is arching. You're so close now. So close.
"Cum for me, my love, my zajačik. Cum for me," I sigh out, breathless.
And like the good girl you are, you obey. You suck in a deep breath, closing your eyes and moaning as a pathetic whimper rises within you. You cum hard, riding the wave to the very end as I follow behind in just as powerful a release.
Fuck, you're perfect. You need me so much. You need me to fuck you like you deserve, my good girl.
You lay limp on your sheets for a while, coming back to yourself before you pull the dildo from your spent cunt. You stand on trembling thighs, retreating into your bathroom to clean yourself up before you crawl into your sheets after turning off your lamp and allow yourself to succumb to sleep.
You're asleep in no time, so tired, so precious. I stare for a while longer before I'm looking back through my windshield and then down at my wet fingers. I smile, chuckling a little as I shake my hand. "You've made such a mess of me, baby," I whisper, bringing my finger to my lips and sucking on them absent-mindedly before I'm collecting myself again.
I let out a gentle breath before glancing at your window again, your sleeping body at peaceful rest. "I love you," I promise.
Starting the car again, I pull out of my spot and drive away from your house, excited to see you again tomorrow.
~
"How's the reading going?"
The question falls easily from my lips as I see her once again at the café.
"Actually," you smile almost bashfully, shrugging a shoulder cutely. "I finished the book. It was really good."
I smile wide, "Yeah?"
"Yes," you bite your lip. "Thanks for recommending it."
"Of course."
You sigh, "What about you?"
I scoff lightly. "Oh, I'm almost finished. I've been so busy lately," I smile gently to myself, "I haven't been able to read as much."
"I get it," you chuckle. You become bashful again, licking your bottom lip and glancing down at the counter. "Hey, so I was thinking. Wanna, like—I mean, if you're not busy… We could get lunch? Or even just coffee if you don't have a lot of time."
My sweet girl, finally working up the nerve to ask me out yourself. The pride swells inside of me as I nod and smile. "That sounds amazing."
Your face lights up with pure jubilation, eyes flashing with light and smile full of joy. "Okay, good!" you exclaim softly. "Um, I'll text you."
"Alright," I agree, reaching over to pluck the marker from your fingers to write my number on a small cup for you. "In the meantime," I hand the cup to you, "I'll have my Chai."
"No problem," your grin is so sweet. I fawn over your beauty as you ring up my order and finally force yourself to tend to the next customer.
And when we finally go on that date, stealing your lunch hour away to sit in the café with our books in hand, I know now more than ever that we were meant to be together. You laugh and talk and express every feeling you have about your book. Then you talk about how pretty you think I am, and I tell you how beautiful you are in return. You reach out to caress my fingers across the table, and I reach over and take your hands in mine to finally stop this teasing wandering of touches. You brush hair out of my face, you tell me I'm lovely, and when your lunch break ends, I depart reluctantly from the table and let you get back to work with the promise of seeing you again.
Sooner than expected.
For that night, when you're sound asleep in your bed, your front door opens with a gentle swing. I walk into the house, closing the door gently behind me as I venture through the house. I wander into your little kitchen, opening the fridge and cabinets to see the food not entirely stocked. Your other cabinets are full of paper plates, a few glass dishes for guests, and mix-matched plastic dishes.
I tut gently, shaking my head with a gentle sigh before heading over to the tiny living room. There's one small sofa, big enough for three people at most. The television is just as small, but it's hardly ever used due to work and reading. There's a small blue ceramic dolphin on the coffee table. Picking it up, I chuckle at the little tape note hidden on the bottom that reads "demon". This, I will bring with me. I put it in my pocket, patting it twice for safekeeping.
I walk down the slim hall to your room, opening the door as silently as I can as my eyes fall on your sleeping form. So peaceful.
I glance around the room, content with being in this cozy space again. My fingers graze the top of the dresser, opening the top drawer as they feel the soft fabric of underwear messily tossed in the space. I grab one—for safekeeping—and wrap it around the dolphin.
Bending down to my knees in front of your bed, I lift the covers spilling over the edge and reach underneath the frame for the little box waiting there. As I pull it from under its hiding place, I open it up to be sure and smile at the sight of the new toy I've watched you use a number of times now. Yes, I would keep this, too.
I flick my wrist and the box shifts out of view with red dust drifting around the space it once occupied. As I stand to my feet, I join you at the side of your bed and kneel once more just to see your pretty face as you sleep.
I linger there a moment. You're so pretty, I want to kiss those soft lips of yours. I could do more. You usually slept so heavily, you would only awaken if I spoke to you…
I could graze my hand along your side, I could spread your pretty thighs, I could let my hand slip under those shorts where you wore no panties and do what I wanted with you until the touch became too obviously real for your little mind to dismiss it as part of a dream sequence. You would wake up to my lips wrapped around that pretty cunt of yours, and you would moan and gasp my name.
How I wanted to do it… I wanted it so badly…
But I would not. Not yet. You needed to know you were mine first.
So I leaned down and I pressed my lips upon your own until I was satisfied with the tingle of my bitten flesh and pulled away. Placing a hand on your cheek, my thumb stroked your cheek as I smiled warmly.
"Hey," I whisper, brushing my hair away from my face so you would be able to see me. "Hey, sweetheart."
The way you awake, soft at first before the shock of it all startled you, is hypnotic. A flash of urgency strikes through you until you are rushing to get up. But I don't let you, holding you down gently by your shoulders.
"Wanda?" you suddenly recognize me. "What are you doing here?" Your voice is heavy with sleep, but frantic with what is probably fear. You don't need to be afraid.
"I came to get you," I smile, trying to ease your nerves. It's just me. You can trust me.
But you're just a little slow, my slow little zajačik.
"What? Why?" you stutter in a hurry to get the words out.
I shake my head as my smile widens. "Don't worry about that," I coo softly. "I've got you, baby."
It feels so nice to be able to call you that: baby, my baby, my precious little thing. Because now you would know, you could know, how much I love you.
Tears begin to sting your eyes. How sweet. You must be so happy to see me, you can't keep it in. You close your eyes as my thumb swipes under them and wipes your tears away. You don't miss the way I bring my thumb to my lips and taste the salty taste of your tears for me.
"Please," your voice trembles and I smile. "Just let me go, please."
My smile falters. Let you go? Why would I do that? You must be so confused, just waking up and finding me here. Silly little thing. Not to worry, everything would be okay.
My hand strokes your cheek, and I reassure you in a gentle tone to accommodate for my lack of a smile. Your breath shudders, your lips tremble. You're so pretty.
"Shh…" I whisper as another tear slips down your cheek. "It's okay. It's okay. Just breathe. Everything will be okay."
You shake your head, your voice squeaking on an inhale. "Wan–"
You don't get to finish my name, for my magic has already seeped into your skull and willed your mind to relax. You fall limp into your bed, your face returning to that peaceful rest that I love to see on you. I smile, stroking your cheek again and kissing your forehead before wrapping my arms around your body.
I pull you into me, your unconscious body allowing me to hold you like I've never been able to do better. You feel amazing, heavenly. I crave more of your touch, but I mustn't get sidetracked. I glance at your sleeping face and trail my hand through your hair.
"Everything is okay, zajačik."
~
"Hey, hey, hey," I bid softly as you slowly stir, finally coming to after being asleep for so long. Poor thing, you were passed out.
That same startled expression from the night before springs you awake as you shoot up and out of the bed. I hold you down to prevent your little head from spinning.
"Calm down," I whisper. "You're safe."
"Where am I?"
You precious thing. You don't have to worry, you don't have anything to be afraid of. This is a new place, you're going to be a little disoriented. But that's okay. Nothing a little bit of food can't fix.
I smile wide, in awe of the truth I get to tell. "You're home." Home at last.
But you shake your head, looking around frantically. Your breath is so quick, you'll start hyperventilating if you don't calm down.
"This isn't my home." Your voice is trembling. You're adorable when you're scared. You're not adorable when you deny my love.
But you're just a little scared. You don't mean it.
I sigh and tilt my head. I raise my hand to your cheek, my thumb stroking down the length of it as I keep my smile. "It is now."
There's silence where you absorb what you've just been told. You stare at me with wide eyes, and I can't help but admire just how pretty you really are.
I pull away and clap my hands lightly. You flinch at the sudden movement, your eyes frantic again. "I'm making breakfast." I stand to my feet and venture toward the door. "I hope you're hungry."
As my hand touches the handle, your words stop me in my tracks.
"Wanda, you kidnapped me."
They hit my chest and my head at the same time. My fists clench, my lip twitches, and I must calm myself before I do something we'll both regret.
I turn slowly, clenching my jaw as I look at you. The fear in your face has only grown and I force myself to smile to ease your nerves. From what I see, it does not work well.
"I…" I sigh and my wavering smile struggles to stay. "I brought you home."
You continue to oppose.
"You took me from my home." Tears are falling again, streaming down your cheeks and reddening your eyes. You're shaking.
My patience is wearing thin, but I try to keep it for you. "You should be grateful," I say, the irritation clear in my voice, though I try to hide it. "You'll never have to worry about anything anymore." I take a step closer, reaching out to you. "I'll keep you safe, and I'll take care of you, and I'll make sure you're never alone." I sigh and tilt my head, smiling wide. "You need me."
You speak so fast that you stumble over your words, silly girl. This is why you need me–
"No, I don't need you. I need to go home."
"You are home."
"No, I'm not!"
"Enough!"
You jolt, looking away from my reddening gaze and down to your lap as my command frightens you. You tremble and shake as you hide away from me.
Oh, my sweet girl, my darling. It hurts to see you like this, to see you cower because of my harsh words. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you.
The silence thickens and the air feels sticky with fear, which, to my discomfort, smells sweet as sugar. I had hoped your fear wouldn't stick to my fingers like syrup, saccharine and honeyed.
"I'm so sorry," I sigh, the sorrow clinging to my stomach as I walk toward you. I fall to my knees before the bed, taking your face in my hands so you can see my remorse. "I'm so sorry. You'll never have to worry again." I pull you close, resting my forehead against yours. Your breath shakes and your body is still quivering.
"I've got you," I assure you, pulling away to gaze at you. You're so pretty.
Your voice is so small as a mouse, a tiny little squeak. "I wanna go home."
I smile gently, stroking your cheeks again to let you feel the warmth of my palms. "Oh…my love," I whisper. I bring your face closer, barely a distance away from my own. "You are home."
You don't respond. Perhaps you've finally accepted me.
I press my lips to your forehead, leaving a lingering kiss that I feel you need as much as I. I sigh, granting you another smile before standing to my feet.
"Now go get cleaned up." I walk toward the door once more. This time, you do not stop me. I glance over my shoulder before leaving the room. "I want to show you around."
~
Wanda gives you a small tour of her home. It's bigger than your own, but it still looks cozy and lived in.
The experience is so surreal. She smiles at you, holds your hand, tells you anything you need to know so you're not blindsided. She tells you which rooms are where, where to find this and that and those, what to do if x, y, and z, and about the fact that she is a powerful witch who has the whole place spell protected so no one could ever dare threaten to harm either of you—which means you likely couldn’t escape if you tried (and even if you did, she would be able to find you). She would always be able to find you.
The clothes she had laid out for you were new but it fit to a T. It would have been enduring, had it not been so creepy due to the whole fact that you've been kidnapped by this deranged woman.
"If you need anything," Wanda smiles, turning toward you in the hall, "you are more than welcome to ask." She sighs and sets her hand on your cheek. "I'll be right back."
Then she's walking away, descending down the hall and leaving you alone in this unfamiliar place.
You watch her leave, still not coming to full terms that this would be your life now. What was even going on? It didn't make sense.
Wanda is sweet and gentle. She's kind and thoughtful and loves complimenting you. But now you're a prisoner in her house, stuck here because she thinks you need her.
Nothing made sense.
You glance around the hall, spotting a few paintings and pictures and nothing much else—although some of them look eerily similar to the ones in your own home.
Then you see a door. It looks plain and unimportant, but you're curious. It's probably just a broom closet—but it might not hurt to look.
You place a trembling hand on the knob, turning it slowly before pushing it open with a tiny creak.
This isn't a broom closet.
As the door opens, you're met with an unexpected scene. It’s a small space—bigger than a closet but barely a room—but it’s filled to the brim with possessions and items that have only one thing in common: you.
Covering every inch of this space were pictures of you, trinkets belonging to you, clothes, recipes, books, movies, candles—you are overwhelmed by the amount of things here that are associated with you. Your wide eyes stare and stare at everything in this room. Reaching a shaking hand out, your fingers brush a photo pinned to the wall of you at a strange angle, just walking down the street on your way home from work. Next to it, there’s another picture of you talking with a tiny group of friends when you’d gone to a birthday party. Another is a photo of you behind the counter at the café handing a coffee to a customer, a large and unsuspecting grin on your face. They’re all taken from angles that only supported your worry: that Wanda is even more deranged than you assumed, she was stalking you.
From photos of you at the café, at the library, at home on the phone or on the tiny sofa in the living room or in your fucking bed with your hand between your legs. Your face pales, your fingers twitch, frightened tears sting at your eyes. You were never alone. She was always there.
She was always watching you.
Ice shocks your skin at this realization, and you stare in horror at what you’ve found. What were you supposed to do? How were you supposed to respond? Why are you even here? Why has she done anything of this? Why you?
The ice is replaced with fire. You tense as heat burns at your back, at the base of your skull, rushing through your spine and making you tremble as you feel it—her gaze, her red-hot gaze surveillancing you as it always has.
You don’t turn around, shocked still as you stand like a frozen relic of the past. When you feel her hand rest on your shoulder, you close your eyes and try not to startle as you catch your breath and ease your tears before she sees you like this. You feel her move closer to you, stepping right behind you as her face inches closer to your own. Her breath fans over your skin, her lips right next to your ear and her smile clear in her voice as she whispers, “Do you like it?”
You swallow hard, inhaling a trembling breath as your legs threaten to give out at the cutting edge of your terror. As calmly as you can, you breathe out your response, quiet and rushed. “Yeah.”
Wanda’s lips curl at your ear and she fights her urge to take your soft lobe between her teeth. “Good,” she responds, proud of her good work here. Taking in a breath far steadier than her own, she wraps her arms around your body until they’re circled around your waist, pulling you in with a tiny giggle. Your body stiffens and you swallow your urge to fight her, anxious and trembling.
“Come on,” she chirps, “I have something to show you.”
She pulls you from the room, closing the door securely behind her before unraveling herself from you and taking your hand to guide you with her. She takes you through the house where you pass doors she’s shown to you and a couple others she didn’t mention. She brings you to stand in front of one, letting you go and standing next to the door with a grin.
Wanda’s calculating eyes watch you as she crosses her arms over her chest. She tilts her head toward the door, inviting you to open it with a burning excitement behind her eyes. You carefully reach out, setting your fingers on the chilly handle before allowing yourself to twist it open.
When you open the door, you do not expect to be greeted with a grand library. The room is bigger on the inside, likely bigger than the size of the house she had stolen you from. It’s huge, each bookshelf stocked to the brim with books you have read, would read, and wouldn’t even know existed if they had not been shown to you now.
Wanda walks in behind you, a face-splitting grin painting her face as she looks around with you, watching you stare in unexpected awe at the sight before you. When she takes your hand, you’re stiff again, but you don’t think she notices much (or maybe she simply dismisses it entirely as irrelevant). “I know you like reading,” she says. “So do I.” She gestures toward the library, taking a step forward to encourage you to look around.
You swallow hard, thinking carefully about every word that ever leaves your lips around her. “I don’t read…this much.”
Her smile widens, unbelievably proud of herself. “Now you can,” she says. When she leans into your ear again, you do startle this time as she whispers a few words that chill you to the bone: “You’ve got nothing but time.”
~
As the sun finally sets, you and I sit in the kitchen. The steam bellowing off of your plate is slowly becoming thinner and thinner as the heat leaves your untouched food. You sit and stare at it, your face fallen as you frown.
I watch you sit there, my head tilted and my brows furrowed in concern. I set down my fork and extend my hand toward you across the table. "What's wrong, sweetheart?"
You glance at me for half a second, but you don't respond for much longer. When you do, it's in a low, monotonous voice that does nothing to convince me of your well-being. "Nothing."
I sigh, trying to reach out again, though your hands are hidden under the table and away from my view. "Come on," I mutter, offering a gentle smile to ease her nerves. "You can talk to me. Anything you want, I'll give it to you."
You finally allow your eyes to meet mine, though yours are pleading and scared and a concoction of anxiety to my steady gaze.
"I want to go ho–"
Don't say it.
You cut off, catching yourself before you can make the mistake of doubting me again as my eyes pierce through you with an intensity I do not intend. I watch you shift, closing your eyes and taking in a steady enough breath before rephrasing your unreasonable demand.
"I want to go back to my old house."
I sigh, pulling my hand back and lifting my fork once more, shifting food around my plate. "Except that." How I wish you would ask me for anything else, something I could safely give you. I want to spoil you, I want to give you anything you want, but such a request that could risk me losing you after I only just got you? How could I ever allow that?
You huff out a breath, one that shakes at the end like the beginning of a sob. "Why can't I leave?" you ask, helplessness clear in your voice. My heart aches and I want to hold you, but something cold and dirty in me tells me that you would not let me. "Am I your prisoner now?"
I shake my head, dropping my fork with a clatter as I move to dismiss such hateful thoughts. "You're not my prisoner, or my hostage, or whatever word you would use to describe yourself like that," I assure her, finally just shoving my plate away in favor of reaching out toward her. My magic surrounds her hands in red fog before pulling them into my sight over the table. From there, I simply hold your hands in mind and stroke my thumbs over your palms. You stiffen at my touch and my heart crumbles.
She just hasn't settled yet, I must remind myself.
I sigh and turn my gaze toward you again, my pleading eyes mirroring your own. "I'm… I'm scared that if I let you go back…" I close my eyes, breathing once more before I continue, "you'll run away from me, and…and I'll never see you again."
Being this vulnerable so soon feels wrong… I'm supposed to protect you. How are you supposed to trust me to protect you if I admit such fears to you so meekly?
You stare at me for a moment in silence and consideration before your lips press in a fine line and you straighten your spine again, shaking your head as your eyes well with tears and you pull your hands away. The slip of your touch against mine has a variety of emotions swelling in my chest, none of them good.
"So is this going to be like the book?" You demand, recalling the one I had suggested to you before, the one you'd finished within less than a week and had been all too eager to share your experience with. "Do I do whatever you want?" There's a pause. "You gonna make me sleep with you?"
I shake my head and scoff. "Of course not," I insist. I lean back in my seat, shrugging a little as I glance at you with a ghost of a smile at the ideas flooding my brain. "But, eventually… you'll crave that just as much as I do."
You shake your head furiously, though you look more like you're denying a truth than you do turning down a ridiculous offer. "I won't," you say, convincing yourself. "I really won't."
I look at you through my lashes, and the smile on my face looks sinister for a half a second as the images of your naked body arching into mine flash behind my eyes.
"You will."
You shudder, but you try not to make it obvious.
Shaking off the goosebumps, you begin again in another attempt at denying my love for you. "What about the title, hm?" you ask. "Tell Me to Stop."
You reach across the table and take my hands. My fingers twitch, aching to grab you and pull you close. Your eyes plead to me, begging me to heed your senseless words.
But still… the gleam in your eyes threatens to break my resolve.
"Stop, Wanda," you whimper. "Just stop, let me go."
I let one of your soft hands go, raising my palm to your cheek and sighing as you lean into it, your eyes closing gently. I shake my head and you let out a helpless breath. "No," I whisper. "No, not yet."
You pull away from me and my shoulders sag. I'm shaking my head quickly now, trying to make you understand and frustrated that you don't. "You don't know how good I am," I whisper, my voice breaking when a tear slips down your cheek. "You don't know how good we could be together."
You wipe your face. "This is sick, Wanda."
"No, it's not," I smile. "Maybe it's a little…unorthodox, but this is love."
Your entire face shifts, almost horrified. Why are you still afraid of me? "Love?" you pale, leaning back again.
I smile, nodding as I reach out to her. "I love you, my zajacik."
The confession flies from my lips, rushing out of me quicker than I can even stop to think about how much I love you. My perfect, perfect girl.
But you shake your head and my smile shakes. "You don't know me." You stand to put more distance between us. I do not follow, though I know you will not make me.
"Yes, I do." I state it as a fact, tilting my head slowly as my gaze never falters from your own. "I know everything about you."
You hold your breath, anticipating.
"You're an only child. Your mother died when you were ten, your father raised you until you moved out here for college. You have a good relationship with him, but you're not immediately close—mostly because of how long you have been separated from each other. You love romance novels that border on thrillers, you have a handful of friends who you hardly ever hang out with because they make you feel like you have to compete to stay important. When you were sixteen, you had a dog named Rango after that chameleon from Rango. You got your first job when you were seventeen, and–"
"Okay."
I stop. You stare at your feet, unmoving as we both just breathe. I stand and walk over to you, slowly and silently. When I step in front of you, I take one hand in mine and set the other on your cheek, lifting your face to look at me. You don't fight me, and I smile.
"You'll see, baby," I whisper. "You need me. You don't know it yet, but you do." You stare at me, searching my eyes for something as your own well with another set of tears. I wipe them away briefly before pressing a kiss to your forehead. "Just let me show you how great we are. Okay?"
You don't respond. You just stare at me, your beautiful, glittering eyes watching me. I brush my thumb over the apple of your cheek and sigh gently. I squeeze your hand once, "I am going to take that as yes," I smile. I linger there for a moment, enjoying our closeness before I pull away and lead you back to the table. I lower you into your seat and set my hands on your shoulders, leaning forward to set my chin in the crook of your neck.
"Finish your food," I say. "You're probably exhausted."
I tilt my face and press a kiss against your neck. Your shoulder closes at the contact, flinching away from my affection because of the unfamiliarity.
Another reason you need me: affection. It's not often you receive it, and no one could ever give affection to you the way I could.
I take my plate back into the kitchen to leave you to eat while I clean. By the time I finish, so have you. So I wash your plate and lead you to the bathroom to shower before bed. You take a while, probably just standing under the water to enjoy the heat, to savor the tension leaving your body.
When you come out, you're wearing the clothes I gave you, and you look so pretty in them. I beckon you with open arms to the bed, and you hesitate for a moment before finally walking over. You just stand there as I wrap my arms around you, submitting to me and my embrace as I hold you for a moment, just a moment to really appreciate the fact that I have you now. I have you all to myself, and there is no power on this Earth that could tear you away from me.
~
The only light in the room is whatever slips through the blinds from the gleaming moon outside. By now, your eyes have adjusted to the lack of light as you lay in bed, covers pulled up to your chin to wrap you in warmth.
But it isn't the only thing wrapped around you.
Wanda lays at your back, sleeping peacefully as her steady breaths ease in and out of her, lifting her chest in a gentle rhythm. You have it memorized at this point, breathe in…and out, in…and out, in…out.
Her arms are secure around your midsection, and sometimes her fingers twitch against you. Sometime in her sleep, her hand had wandered underneath your shirt, splayed across the expanse of your belly. She keeps you in place, and you dare not squirm in fear of disturbing her as she slumbers on without you.
You're definitely not asleep. It's your first night here—your first night knowing you were here at least—and the day you'd just had, all the emotions that had run through you were swarming in your belly and making you uneasy.
But that isn't really why you aren't asleep.
You're afraid to sleep, but not because you feel she may do something to you while you aren't aware of what it was. You know—deep down, you know—that Wanda would never hurt you on purpose. You're afraid to sleep because of what that might mean.
You're forcing yourself to stay awake because the feel of her body against yours is one of the best feelings you've experienced in a very long time. You feel safe and secure, you feel at ease with the thought of someone wanting you. You want to be here, you want to be wrapped up in her, with her gentle breaths on your shoulder and her hand on your belly.
And you're terrified because that means you're probably just as messed up as she is to feel so safe with a person who stole you in the night to keep you captive in her own home, separated from anyone and anything that was not her. What if you are twisted because she's making you feel so secure?
You want to go home.
But this is your home.
And you are twisted because you want to be here.
And you have already given in to the temptations of sleep as Wanda's fingers stroke the skin of your belly in her sleep.
~
That day was the last day we fought.
The weeks that follow run as smoothly as silk. You…cooperate. From sunup to sundown, you allow me to take care of you—to cook for you, clean for you, read with you, spoil you rotten with gifts and praises to make you feel better. There's never a day that passes that I don't shower you with compliments, there's never a moment that I ever have to raise my voice or convince you that I love you.
It's like you've submitted to me.
You're not as lively as you were before, however, the light in your eyes is not as bright as it was. You move and speak like you're on autopilot. You say please and thank you, you do whatever I ask of you whenever I ask it, you smile when you think it's appropriate to smile, and you don't oppose me.
You just obey.
Part of me wants to fix it. This isn't the you I've come to know and love: something is different. I miss your real smile, your contagious joy, your bubbly giggles. You've been holding back from me. But I have to keep reminding myself that you're adjusting. It takes time, but you'll come around.
Slowly, we'll return to normal. Slowly, you'll feel my love just as much as you've accepted it now. Slowly, I will feel your love. We can be happy. We will be happy.
And today feels like the start of it all.
"Happy birthday, my zajačik," I smile as I step into our bedroom, a cupcake in hand with the tiny candle flickering away.
There's something different in your eyes as I slowly approach you, the smile on my face spreading over your lips with half as much joy as my own. But it's a smile, a genuine smile, and I'd do anything to keep that happiness in your eyes.
"How did you kno–" You stop yourself, mentally kicking yourself as you remember that little thing about me. You just nod once, your smile becomes a little smaller. "Right."
I sit on the bed next to you, handing the cupcake over for you to cradle in your hands. "Come on, make a wish," I gently encourage, "before the wax gets on the icing."
You stare at the candle for a moment, forming your desire in your mind before you lean forward and blow out the small flame with a single little breath.
I smile, "What did you wish for?"
You shrug a shoulder, still smiling at me with a tiny grin that still holds some truth to it. "If I tell you, it won't come true."
I chuckle, scooting a little closer until our shoulders touch. "You know… I could always just read your mind."
You become slightly playful, that glint of mischief in your eyes that I have missed. "Would you deny me my wishes?"
A slightly solemnity strikes your eyes again at your words, but you cover it well. You just keep smiling, and I hopelessly watch the truth slip from your gaze. "You got me," I answer.
Then a sigh passes my lips and I flick my wrist as your present appears in my hands. "I got you a birthday gift." I present it to you.
"Oh, yeah?" You take it, looking over the red wrapping paper with a curious glance. Some of the joy has returned, albeit only a little at the prospect that I was so thoughtful as to get you a gift and make cupcakes.
"Yep," I nod once. "Open it."
You hesitate a moment before your fingernails dig into the wrapping paper and tear it away to reveal a small box. You remove the lid and hold your breath as you stare at the pendent laying inside. It's gold with a dainty chain and a small medallion of my own making. You set it in the palm of your hand and brush your fingers over the front to feel the textures. When you flip it over, I watch you pause to read what is engraved on the back.
"What does it mean?" you ask suddenly, your voice nearly a whisper.
"What does what mean?"
"That thing you keep calling me," you answer, attempting it yourself in a whisper, probably afraid you'll say it wrong.
I smile, chuckling a little to myself at how adorable you are. "Zajačik? It means 'bunny'."
"Oh."
"What did you think it meant?" I wonder as I tilt my head.
You shrug, looking at me again as you carefully pass it to me, turning your back to me and pulling your hair out of the way so that I could fasten it around your neck. My heart swells in my chest, warmed by the thought of you wishing to wear my gift to you.
"I dunno," you say. "That's why I asked."
I clasp the necklace and set it down at the back of your neck, smoothing my hands over your shoulder before setting your hair back into place.
You pick up the necklace and stare at it once more, biting your lip in thought. Then you're speaking again, at first to yourself. "Do you think…"
You stop yourself, but I place my hand on your shoulder and lean closer. "What is it?"
You look at me, still chewing on your bottom lip. "Do you think I could…call my dad today?"
I hesitate a moment, thinking of everything that could go wrong. I should say no. I should tell you that it could risk everything or that you don't need to because you got me—anything to dissuade you from having a chance to leave me.
But the look in your eyes makes me weak and reminds me that I would do anything for you. I sigh and allow myself to smile, reassuring myself that everything would be okay. "Sure," I nod slowly. "Call it another present."
The joy that lights up on your face is worth it.
You smile wide, you even launch yourself forward and wrap your arms around me. I'm surprised at first—you hadn't been so readily affectionate until now—and it should be a sign… but all I can do is hug you back, pull you into my body, and nuzzle my face into your hair at the warmth of your amazing hugs.
I could do this more often.
"Thank you, Wanda," you whisper, oh-so genuine and heartwarming.
I smile. I love you.
"Of course, my beautiful girl," I whisper into your hairline.
You pull away enough to look at me, your eyes big with a silent plea. "Your beautiful…bunny?"
I could cry from how much I adore you. I want to scoop you up into my arms and smother you in kisses.
"Môj krásny zajačik."
~
The call lasts a little longer than I thought it would. Listening in, I can hear your light laugh, your gentle words. You seem to be enjoying yourself.
The rest of the day moves softly, a gentle transition from the bedroom to the library. You're curled against the couch, a pillow and book in your lap as you read your book.
If We Were Villains by M. L. Rio. You'd been reading it over the past few days, and you've been invested since you began. It is part of the new collection of books I'd just brought into the library.
"How's your day going?" I question gently as I walk up to you.
You look up, offering a small smile as you nod. You'd become comfortable recently, adjusting to everything now that you've been here long enough. "It's good," you reply warmly.
I sit next to you. "Are you terribly lonely from the lack of participants?" I chuckle lightly, covering the concern within me that it'll be true.
But you shake your head. "No, I…" you sigh, shrugging a little before looking at me. "I didn't grow up with siblings. My birthday was usually just me and my dad. As I got older, I'd go out with a couple friends, but that was it." You take in a slow breath, "This is…cozy."
My worries are put at ease. "I'm glad you're enjoying yourself."
You close your book, setting it to the side to pull the pillow to your chest, your feet pulled under you. "I've been thinking," you mumble. "You know…way more about me than I know about you."
I laugh to myself, licking my lips. "Well, what do you want to know? I'll tell you anything."
You think for a moment before shrugging. "Do you have siblings?"
My smile falters, and I blink too many times as my frown settles over my lips. The tears sting behind my eyes quicker than I can realize them, but I don't let them fall as I just glance down at my hands.
"I had a brother."
You hesitate for a moment, your curious smile gone as well as you go quiet. "Had?"
I glance at you, but I find it hard to keep your gaze as you stare back at me, bewildered. "He died," I confess, before my expression sours, bitterness nipping at my next words, "or… he was killed."
You swallow hard, holding the pillow closer. "I'm sorry," you whisper.
"Don't be," I sigh and look at you again. "His name was Pietro." My voice slips then as I speak his name for the first time in a long time. "He was…" a tiny chuckle rocks through me, and I shake my head, "he was twelve minutes older than me, we were twins."
You turn away for a moment, running a hand along the side of your face and nuzzling your mouth into your palm. When you look back at me, your expression is soft. "When did he die?"
"A few years ago. We got mixed up in the wrong crowd… we got out, but not for long. He was the one who paid the price." I take in another breath, readjusting myself as I clear my throat to keep going, ignoring the ache in my throat and the sting in my eyes. "We were orphaned at ten, so we were all each other had. And he was taken from me, just like our parents."
You wipe your eyes, sniffling gently. "I'm sorry," you whisper, your voice breaking.
I turn to you, taking your face in my hands. "It's okay," I try to smile, to reassure you. I swipe my thumbs under your eyes to slow your tears. The look in my eyes shifts ever-so-slightly, and you stop breathing for a moment. My voice is slow, hitting every word to ensure you hear what I'm saying. "Because no one will ever be taken from me again."
You're stiff as a board as you stare at me, but you don't fight me, you don't betray any fear, you just watch. "Is that why I'm here?"
I sigh and close my eyes, shaking my head. I lick my lips. "You're here because I love you. And you're mine. And I'm yours," I reassure you. "I will always protect you, my zajačik."
You don't speak. I stare at you, and the anxiety of the alternative to this moment rolls in my chest and captures my throat. I try to swallow the lump away, to be rid of my tears and let us enjoy the rest of this moment, but the tears spill and my lip trembles. I can't keep it away anymore as I set my hands on your shoulders and hold you.
"Please don't leave me."
A hiccup startles my chest as I duck my head. You surprise me. You lean into me and rest your head against my chest, and your arms come to wrap around my waist.
I pull you into me, wrapping you in a hug as I hold you. You allow me to cry into your shoulder, rocking me gently to offer your comfort.
Something in me is put at ease, that writhing feeling often curled in my chest calmed and reduced to a dull churn. A trembling breath passes out of me.
"I love you," I whisper to you.
Your hand rubs my back for a moment and you nod.
"I know."
~
Wanda is gone today, off running some errand. You were watching the news—nothing else was on—and it was really just all things terrible. There was a robbery at the bank, an accident somewhere downtown, an entire building burnt to the ground and a lot of people were hurt, some died.
You turned it off before long.
Then you were walking through the house in search of something to do, and that's when you passed by the room from your first day.
You push the door open, once again met with the shrine painted with your life. You just sit there, looking around at everything around you.
There's so much here you recognize. Your favorite hoodie that you'd lost is neatly folded in a small stack of clothes she'd smuggled. You would put it on, but you don't want to take it from her.
The pictures pinned to the bulletboard are like little memories. Some of them, you couldn't recall the day, date, or relative month. Others, you could pinpoint time of and recall each event that preceded and followed it.
You recognize your dolphin figurine, and you pick it up to see the little note on the bottom reading "demon". When you set it back in place, you notice the delicate fabric it was perched on.
You take it in your hands and quickly realize what it is: a pair of panties, pink with a tiny bow on the front. You should be scared, you should be absolutely freaked out, but you aren't, and you can't be. You smooth the fabric on your hands and a quick thought flashes behind your eyes about "at least this one is clean".
You fold it again and return it to its rightful place. There's so much here, a story of the life you lead that makes you realize just how lonely you really are.
But you were never alone—and you're not alone now.
She was always there. Whether you knew it or not, she was there. She loved you on your way to the library to return a stack of books. She loved you at work, serving rude customers and having shitty days. She loved you on nights when you're left to your own devices with your hands between your legs and your back arched into your pillows.
Every chilling photo, every stolen relic, every folded pair of clothes or underwear is laid out and idolized by this woman. A woman who loves you. A woman who adores you.
She thinks you're beautiful, and you think that's beautiful. She cherishes every good or bad memory, she worships every little breath, every tear, every laugh. She fucking loves you.
And you were ungrateful.
All the crap on the news, everything going wrong, you could have been caught up in that at any moment. You could have been back at the café, hiding behind the counter from some thief trying to rob the shop. You could have been trapped in a burning building or hit in an accident. You could have been hurt, killed at any moment and your left would end right there. No apologies, no warnings, just done.
But you aren't done. You're here, being protected by Wanda, who loves you and wants to keep you safe. All she's wanted to do was keep you safe, prove to you that she loves you, prove that she cares.
And you've just pushed her away.
You fought and you argued that first day. You called her sick, you called her crazy. She fed you, housed you, protected you, assured you that you were loved and wanted. And you tried to push her away, rejecting her by closing yourself off to her love.
How could you do that to her?
She has no one. Her family is gone, she lives in her home alone. She's been so alone for so long, and you are the only thing she cares about now. What kind of person rejects someone like that?
Your chest aches as the realization crashes down on you. Your breath trembles as you shake your head. What kind of person are you to deny her, someone as kind and as caring as her?
But she loves you—she loves you so much—and you need to show her that it isn't for nothing. You need to show her that you're grateful, that you care about her. You need to show her that you won't desert her because she needs you, and you need her.
~
I open the door to our home, immediately stopping as the savory scent of a meal in the air fills my nose. I furrow my brow, my lips tugging in a little grin as I step further into the house. I walk along the tiny hall to the living room, laying eyes on your back through the arch view in the wall displaying the kitchen.
"What's all this?" I ask as I step past the threshold, walking into the kitchen where you're working. You look over your shoulder at me, and your smile is wide, the sparkle in your eyes I have not seen in a while shining at me in a more open display. You really have been holding back from me.
"I wanted to cook for you," you say, stirring the pot for a moment before setting the wooden spoon down and running your hands down my apron on your body. You walk over to me and take my hands, squeezing them gently before leaning forward and touching your cheek to mine. It was so fluid, like we'd had this set in a routine. I do not shy away from it.
"Why?" I chuckle lightly, a little confused by the sudden change, however welcome it is.
"Well," you shrug your shoulders, pulling your hands back to your sides. "You've been cooking so much for me, and I used to be so ungrateful for it…" Your expression shifts, replaced with that same look as before—only, now it seems to hold a little more regret than it had been. Poor thing.
You shake your head, your face unburdening again as you look at me with an apologetic grin. "I wanted to finally return the favor. I've got your favorite." You take a step to the side and motion to the pot of goulash stew, hot and bubbling and absolutely mouthwatering.
My heart warms at the sight as I look back at you. Your smile looks nearly triumphant now at having gained such a reaction from me. "How did you know this was my favorite?" I wonder, reaching forward to grab your hands again.
You smirk mischievously. "You're not the only one who does her research." I can't help my chuckle at that, your light-heartedness rubbing off on me. You let go of me, clapping your hands together to dust them off before shuffling behind me. You press your hands into my shoulder blades, guiding me out of the kitchen and into the living room. "Why don't you sit? I'm almost finished."
I laugh to myself, giddy with my love for you. "Okay."
This is the happiest I've seen you in the weeks that you've been here. I'd been slowly regaining more and more of the old you over the course of our time together, but today was such a huge flip. What's changed?
Was it my opening up to you about my family on your birthday? Was it the gift I'd given you? The phone call to your father?
What could possibly have happened to speed along this process, to make you care so openly for me again?
Whatever it was, I find myself thinking about how happy I am that it happened. To see you smile so much fills my heart, reducing me to a pile of satisfaction.
Finally, I've got my girl back.
~
"I've been thinking," you say suddenly, setting your spoon down. You reach across the table and, taking one of my hands in yours, you graze your thumb over my knuckles as you look at me.
"About?" I inquire, setting my own spoon down to do the same to you. We're connected across the table, and there's far too much space between us, even with our hands joined as they are.
You breathe in slowly, thinking before you answer me. "About you and me–us," you smile, glancing up and down between me and your bowl with a shyness I can't help but fawn over. "I decided, you're right."
Finally.
"About?" I chuckle gently.
"About…" you sigh, "about how good we are together."
"Oh?" My thumb swipes along your knuckles, and you shift your gaze to watch it. You pull your lip between your teeth for just a moment, as if it is something meant to go unnoticed by me.
But it doesn't, because you don't.
"Yeah…" You're looking at me again, though your mind looks like it's lost to something else. I tilt my head to draw your attention again, but you just smile gently as you continue to allow yourself to be distracted by something. A simple glance into your mind, just one little peek and I could see what it is that has your mind so preoccupied. But before I could do such a thing, you're speaking again, so fondly, so gently.
"I…I like when you take care of me. You know just what to say and what to do," you shake your head, struggling to come up with the right words to describe what you're thinking. One glimpse and I could see it all. Just one–
"You're so…good."
Good.
I'm so good.
Now you see, you understand. After all this time, the plotting, planning, waiting—the waiting. After everything, it finally paid off. It was worth it all to see you finally realizing just how perfect we really are, how much better we can be still.
I smile, it's a large smile that makes your own spread along your pretty lips. Oh, my lovely.
"The stew is amazing," I say, my voice barely above a whisper.
You breathe gently, clinging to my gratification like cellophane. You glance down at our hands, a poor attempt to hide your beautiful smile. "Thank you."
I reach out and brush my finger under your chin, tilting your head up. You gaze into my eyes, your own sparkling with the adoration I had been dreaming of seeing reflected into my eyes.
"And so are you," I promise, brushing my knuckles up to the apple of your cheek, which darkens under my touch as you try to hide the blush that has spread over your skin.
~
That isn't to say I do not still have my doubts.
A couple of days have passed by us since you confessed how much you enjoy my presence in your life, and things have shifted (for the better). We spend a lot of time together, mostly in the library, even if not to read. Sometimes it’s like a game of Hide and Seek, where you rush around the shelves and I come after you like some predator out for blood. Other times, it’s just you and I on a sofa together with a book in our laps as we read silently, letting the time tick by. You sit a little closer, a little more relaxed. You’re far more at ease than you’d ever been since you arrived.
But sometimes…it feels like it was too easy.
Were you actually happy here, or were you playing along to make the passage of time a little easier? I want to believe you want this just as much as I do, but it’s hard to put my worries to rest when I look at you and see a woman meant to stay in my dreams. I feel like there’s the slightest possibility that, maybe, I’m messing with a fate that even I should not try to reckon with.
I just want you to be happy—and I want to be happy. Don’t I deserve happiness? After everything I’ve lost, don’t I deserve to have something so precious to me that I can keep, forever? What is so wrong about that?
But I do not want to keep a bird caged if she longs for the skies. How would I be able to live with myself if I destroyed your life for the sake of my own?
“Do you like it here?” The question is blurted over the silence of the library as I stand between two tall shelves. You look up suddenly from the sofa, tilting your head as you tear your focus away from your book.
“Hm?” you mumble.
I clear my throat in an attempt to gather myself, bringing my hands together to twiddle my fingers to try and ease the nerves playing in the back of my brain and clawing its way to the surface. “Do you like being here?”
“I…” you hesitate at first, and I hold my breath. You close the pages and set it aside to give me your full attention, furrowing your brow to think. You speak slowly to clearly articulate your words, “I didn’t at first. I felt trapped.” My heart aches, and I want to drop to my knees and cry. But then you look at me with those wide eyes, pupils blown with adoration and care. “But now…” you smile delicately, “now I don’t know if I could leave.” You shake your head, rephrasing your words to more accurately state, “I don’t know if I could leave you.”
I was so close to shattering, and with a few words, you’re holding together the pieces again. “Really? Because…” I clear my throat, “if you wanted to…to go—if you still want to go, I’ll let you.” I have to force the words out in a rush, lest they never see the light of day. I don’t want you to go, I don’t want you to leave me here all by myself, but I can’t trap you more than I already have.
You stare at me for a long time, and I watch the layers peel back into something so small and vulnerable. “I can’t leave you,” you whisper, your voice breaking with another confession. You shake your head, slowly standing to your feet to be closer to me. You speak so quickly, just as nerve-wrecked as me now. “You take such good care of me. You’re so kind and–and gentle. You’ve never done anything to actually hurt me. You keep me safe and…and you love me.” Tears begin to gather in your eyes, and I want to take you in my arms and hold you. Don’t cry, darling.
You shake your head and sniffle, “I’ve never had anyone love me the way you do. You helped me see. I need that—I need you.” Your lip curls and trembles, and you move closer to me as the tears fall. You reach forward and take my hand. Unexpectedly, you fall to your knees and bow your head to me as though I am royalty, keeping my hand in a desperate hold. “Please don’t make me leave.”
I melt and I fall to my knees, joining you on the floor as I set my hands on your face, lifting you to see mine again as I gaze into your tear-filled eyes. My eyes are just as wet as yours, though the tears had not fallen until now as I smile through it all. “I would never make you do anything,” I promise, shaking my head and swallowing hard. “Especially not that.”
You drop your head onto my shoulder, nuzzling into my neck in search of comfort as you smile and reassure yourself with my words. Your hands hold onto me as I keep you close. And then you’re whispering in my ear, “Can you say it again?”
“Say what?” I ask, rocking the both of us gently as the tears slow and the swells in our hearts grow.
“That you…” you sniffle, “that you love me?”
I smile wide, wiping my face. “Môj krásny zajačik,” I rasp into your ear. “I love you. I love you. I love you so much, you have no idea what limits I’d go to prove that to you.”
Your breath catches as you struggle to control yourself, another round of sobs forcing its way from your body as you pull me closer. “I love you more than the earth. I love you more than all the life on it. I love you more than the very air we breathe. I would sacrifice everything for you.”
“I love you, too.”
I pause, stilling completely as your words wash over me like scorching water. “What?” I whisper breathlessly.
You pull away from me just enough to take my face in your own hands. Your face is tear-stained, but you smile at me like I am the universe. “I love you, too,” I confess again, stroking your thumbs over the apple of my cheeks. “I’m so sorry it took so long for me to see.”
Our foreheads press together for a long moment as we enjoy each other’s closeness. You shudder and I hear a tiny hiccup. “It’s okay—hey, it’s okay. It’s you and me,” I whisper, stroking my hand through your hair and soothing you with shushes and promises and little rubs of my hand along your back. I smile, making you look at my face to show that there is no lie in what I’m about to tell you.
“We’ll never be alone again.”
You stare at me, a slow grin beginning to spread over your lips as you take my words to heart. My perfect, special, darling little zajačik. I wipe your tears away and bring the both of us to stand. I kiss your forehead. My lips tingle with the contact of your skin, and I wonder if you can feel it, too.
“Come,” I bid softly. “Let’s get you ready for bed.”
~
You look so peaceful.
The moonlight shining down on your face casts you in a gentle gleam that makes you look like a mythical creature.
Perhaps you are a siren: meant to lure me with your sweet song, only to drag me down, down, down to the deepest depths of the ocean where I would breathe my last breath and make you the last thing I see before death took me.
Or perhaps you are an angel: beautiful and powerful but capable of merciless blows that I could never withstand, yearning to redeem my soul but more than willing to damn it to Hell instead.
Whichever you are, you're enchanting.
Standing at the end of the bed, I watch as you rest. There's no worry in your face, no fear or shame, nor care or desire. Just…peaceful. Your breaths are slow and paced, allowing your chest to rise and fall in a steady motion. There's no other sound that comes from you, and no other sound outside of this room to disturb that.
Until that changes with the tiniest hum.
I tilt my head as I watch, listening closely for the next little whimper to escape from your lips as you shift in the covers, your limbs tangled in the sheets and spreading you wide. It's like you're begging for me to do something to you, to take you where you lie and claim you as mine forever.
Just one glimpse into your mind, and I would see everything. I would see what you're dreaming about to make you react in such a way. I could see–
Me.
My body and yours, grinding and moaning and begging for the other's touch. It's passion and lust, blood and sweat, whispers and screams.
I gasp as my mind retreats from your own, and I'm hot all over just recalling what your filthy mind has drawn up.
If you wanted me so badly, all you had to do was ask.
You are already spread wide for me, so all I have to do is crawl into bed, my body towering over yours. I brush some hair off your forehead, tucking it behind your ear as I lean down and nuzzle my face into your neck. I inhale your scent, sweet and light, intoxicating.
Your breath hitches when my knee rises up to meet the dip of your thighs, pressing into your heat. My hand smooths down your side before dipping under your shirt and grazing the bare skin there. I tiny whimper slips through your lips, and I moan with you. Your soft skin under my touch is maddening.
I take the skin of your neck between my lips, kissing you, touching you, embedding my love into your flesh. My lips trace you all the way down until I reach your cute little shorts, pinching the waistband between my fingers and pulling them down your legs slowly, careful not to disturb your slumber.
I stare at your panties, my fingers whispering at the band of the fabric. I dip down, closing my eyes as my lips brush against you. Again, I take a deep breath and your scent swirls around my senses and makes me weak. My tongue darts out and licks a long strip up your clothed pussy, tasting your sweetness firsthand.
A moan hums out of me again as my lashes flutter, before I'm pulling your panties off and ravaging you. You're hot and sweet and a taste that coats my tongue in love. You writhe beneath me, moaning and grinding your hips to seek me out.
I grasp your hips to keep you still, dipping my tongue into your hole, pressing the tip of it into your clit. Your breaths become faster, louder, until your whimpers are desperate moans.
When the sounds stop and your body stills, I look up at you to see what has changed. You stare back at me, your eyes wide and your face flushed. "Wanda?" you breathe.
I suck on your clit and your body kickstarts. Your shock and confusion is overwhelmed by the pleasure I send rushing through you. You try to stifle a moan as you grip at the sheets, but that just won't do. I wrap my arms around your thighs as they set over my shoulders. They push toward you when I reach up to your chest, my hands sliding under your shirt to feel your bare breasts as I squeeze them.
You gasp, your thighs tightening around me. "That's it," I whisper into you. "That's it, baby, let it out for me." A louder moan rises out of you, unrestricted by closed lips as your hands fly to my hair and pull.
"Wanda," you squeak. "Wanda, yes, I'm gonna cum!"
I moan into you, feeding off your pleasure as it rises within you. "Go ahead. Cum for me. Let it out for me."
Your body seizes and your jaw clenches as you curl into me. I take your hands, intertwining our fingers as you cum hard right onto my tongue as I suck and lick at your clit.
You curse loudly, holding tighter. "Wanda, fuck! Mmph, yes."
You grind against my face until you come down, easing from your high as you fall limp against the sheets. But I don't stop. My hands find your hole, pushing inside and feeling your heat around my fingers. You bite your lip hard, clenching down on me and letting out a strained whimper.
I give you no time to adjust, already chasing your next high as I pump my fingers in and out of you, creating a steady rhythm that has you bucking your hips into my hand. "That's it, baby," I coo. "Ride yourself on my hand."
You begin to chant my name alongside breathy moans as your pussy flutters around me. I curl my fingers in a come hither motion, pulling your hips further before pumping then faster. Your moans pick up, louder and higher. "I'm gonna cum, Wanda! You're gonna make me cum!" you exclaim, gripping the sheets so hard I hear a rip.
The tip of my tongue flicks your clit. "Already? Do I make you feel so good, my bunny?" I lick my lips, squeezing your upper thigh as my nails dig into your flesh.
You're a mess as you nod, forcing yourself to look at me. "Yes. Fuck, yes, make me feel so good."
A shudder rushes through my spine and a wicked smile spreads across my lips. I don't stop, even when I move up to loom over your body. My face is inches from yours, and you stare at me with wide, wet eyes. "If you want to cum this time," I whisper, "you're going to have to beg me for it."
You mewl, raising your hand to touch my side, eager to pull me closer. "Please, Wanda," you say quietly, barely a whisper as your shyness sinks into your skin.
But that just won't do.
"You can do better than that," I bid, grazing my lips along the shell of your ear. "Tell me how much you want it, and I'll give it to you."
You move your hand from my waist to my neck, slinging your arm around me to pull me closer. "Please, Wanda, can I cum?" you sigh breathlessly. "I need it so bad, please."
I hum, curling my fingers deep inside you. You whimper, tilting your head up. "I love it when you moan my name, zajačik."
I flick my wrist, and you gasp as I shower you in a mist of my magic. I circle my thumb on your clit, fast and rough as I attune quickly to your body. Your body writhes, legs twitching and fingers flexing. It's not long before you're squeezing my fingers, cumming hard with another desperate moan of my name.
Again, I don't stop, not for a moment. You moan and gasp through your release, you scream my name and grind on my hand, your hold onto me as you ride your high. I pump my fingers in and out, curling and spreading and stroking your pussy as my magic plays with your little clit, keeping you worked up to give you the pleasure you deserve.
You whine and you whine and you whine, and you don't stop as the pleasure keeps building. With my insistence, you don't get a chance to come down. Not when I make you cum a third time, or a fourth, or a fifth as tears build in your eyes and slip down your pretty cheeks, choked sobs tearing your throat with how good you feel—how good I make you feel.
"Wanda," you gasp. "I can't—I can't take it. 'S too much, I can't."
I flick my wrist again and increase your pleasure, pulling another choppy heave from your throat. "D'you want me to stop?" I question, my own breath much quicker as I watch you come undone over and over again. You've made a mess of me, and I haven't even been touched yet. My hips brush against your leg, eager for some sort of friction as I clench around nothing and my clit throbs, in need of attention.
You don't answer me, too busy with the intoxicating pleasure blinding you. I bend down to your ear, taking the soft lobe between my teeth. "Do you want me to stop?" My voice is rough in your ear, and it sends a tremble down your spine.
You finally answer me, shaking your head and fluttering around my fingers still shoved deep within you. "No," you whimper. "Please, don't stop."
I smile wickedly. "Good girl."
But, either way, I do stop. You mewl, your hands flying to your face to wipe the sweat and tears from your skin. I pull your hands away, cupping your chin with my crooked fingers to make you look at me.
I stroke your cheek. "You're so precious crying for me like this," I breathe, pressing my lips to your cheek. "Fuck, you look so perfect crying for me, my little bunny."
Your hands fly to my face, pulling me over so our foreheads touch as you stare at my lips. "Please kiss me, Wanda," you mumble, caressing the corner of my lips with your fingers.
I don't waste anymore time. I dip down and press my lips against yours in a rough kiss, finally tasting you properly after waiting for so long. You taste perfect. Like love and passion, all sweetness like honey and sugar. I'm quickly drunk on you, rejecting breath in favor of kissing you. I moan into your mouth, and you pull me closer, biting my bottom lip hard enough to draw blood, which paints your lips red.
When I pull away from you, I'm messy and breathless, already aching to have more of you. "Fuck, I'm gonna make you feel so good, my little fuck bunny," I promise, a little whine to my voice.
I force myself to pull away from you, reaching under the bed to pull out a little box kept nice and safe there. I open it and pull out the little red toy you'd bought yourself, back before you were truly mine. It feels so long ago now.
I show it to you, take it between my hands, stroke it, make you blush adorably. "I saved it," I smile. Your breath hitches when I regain my place over you, one hand brushing your dripping cunt again to coat my fingers. I place my fingers in your mouth, pushing down on your tongue to make you suck on them. Your eyes flutter, tiny moans slipping past your lips, which have been wet and messy.
"I also made a little improvement," I breathe, flicking my wrist again. You watch the red tendrils of magic summon the strap-on I'd created just for us. Your eyes widen and you stop suckling on my fingers. Pushing down again on your tongue, you get back to work as you flush a darker red. The squelching of your tongue as I push my fingers back even further makes a dirty sound that has me moaning a little more.
You reach up to grab my wrist, keeping me where I am. Little indents of your nails in my flesh begin to dig in, and I smile at the sight. "Would you like me to use it?" I whisper into your ear. "Just nod for me." You nod your head, all too eager to be satisfied by me. "Good girl."
I toy with the hem of your shirt before I remove it from your body, finally leaving you bare to me. You're too distracted to be shy, otherwise I know you would try to shield yourself from me. I pull away from you, standing in front of the bed as I begin to strip myself of the constricting fabric still wrapped around my own body. They fall in a puddle to the floor, piece by piece, until I'm just as bare as you.
You stare at me, body limp and fucked out but not nearly fucked enough to deny the growing lust rising within you at the anticipation of the pleasure to come. The strap fits perfectly as I put it on, and you watch every move I make to do it.
I take hold of your thighs, pulling you closer to the edge of the bed as I wrap your legs around me. I bend over you, our faces hovering between one another with an intimacy unmatched by anything I'd ever experienced before.
"Are you ready, my little fuck bunny?" I rasp into your ear, my lips ghosting over your cheek. You nod, raising your arms to wrap around my neck.
I raise my hand next to your cheek, and you marvel at the way my fingers twirl around my red enchantment. Your breath hitches when it disappears. "What did you do?" you whisper.
I don't answer your question. Instead, I line the strap with your glistening cunt and push it through your folds, slowly filling your sweet little hole with the toy. Your head falls back and your eyes flutter shut as you feel the stretch of my cock inside of you.
My breath shudders as I push fully inside you, feeling the tightness of your cunt through the enchantment of my spell. You clench around me, losing your breath to take a moment to adjust. But I don't give you long.
Before you have time to get used to the size filling you up, I'm pulling out again to the very tip, forcing myself back into you with a guttural moan tearing from my throat. "Fuck," my voice is rough from the lust welling inside us. "Are you always so fucking tight, honey?"
You don't reply, preoccupied with your nails digging into my back. I don't mind—I crave it, want to feel your love tearing into my skin.
I chuckle a little, thrusting roughly into you again to pull another whimper from your preciously pathetic little throat. I shake my head, taking in a breath through my teeth as I stare at your face, screwed up in pleasure. "Of course you are. There's no one else to stretch you out. Perfect for me."
A whine draws from you and I can't help the bubbling giggle in my throat. "Wanda," you breathe. "Fuck, so big." You hum, biting your bottom lip as I push back inside again. "Please, please, Wanda. I need you," you mewl, holding me tighter.
"'Please, Wanda. I need you,'" I mock, pitching my voice and whining back at you with a little frown on my lips. You pull me in tighter, despite my taunting. "Look at you. Such a pathetic little whore for me, right, bunny?"
You nod, a meek little thing begging me to go faster. "Yes!" you breathe. "All for you."
I take one of my hands around your throat, holding you there as my teeth graze the skin of your collarbone. "You want more of me, pretty girl?"
You nod woefully, grinding your hips against me. "Yes, yes, yes," you whisper in a little chant made of a desperate plea.
I don't make you wait any longer. Gripping the headboard with one hand, I steady myself before I'm moving again. A shriek erupts from you when my hips snap into your own, shoving the cock inside of your tight pussy in an unrelenting rhythm.
Quick and hard, I build the pleasure within you as I thrust and thrust and thrust. I'm breathless as the shockwaves tingle at the bottom of my spine and work their way to the top while my hand tightly grips the wood of the headboard.
A growl seizes my throat when your nails in my back dig deeper, raking down to leave angry red scratches to cover the expanse of skin.
You're sobbing my name, the pleasure becoming too much for you as you break down into a mess of cries. You claw and scream and clench, pleading and erratic. It's empowering to watch you beg for me, to see you so small and aching for what I—and only I—can give to you.
Oh, my darling girl. I love you so much. I love it when you smile. I love it when you laugh. I love when you scream my name, when you sob the words out in a barely coherent plea for more. I love watching you mewl like a desperate little whore, squirming like a pathetic slut for me and my hands and my cock.
"Do you know how long I waited for you?" I husk, leaning down a little so your face is closer. I move my hand from your throat to your face, gripping your cheeks and puckering your lips. "Do you know how many nights I spent touching myself to the thought of you—watching you touch yourself in your little bed with your little fingers? I fucking needed you, baby." A rough thrust inside of you has me crumbling for a moment, burying my face in the crook of your neck with a short whimper in your ear. "Fuck, I knew you felt me. Those nights while you touched yourself, I knew you could feel me there, watching you, protecting you. Couldn't you?"
You can barely think about it the way you want to. Lost in the pleasure, you agree with everything I say as you rake a new trail down my back. "I knew you could," I rasp a laugh. "But now I fucking have you. You're fucking mine. I'm never letting you go."
Another round of sobs escapes you at my declaration. "Never let me go," you cry, begging me. "Please don't let me go."
I can feel the sparks of my release bursting within me and I know you're close, too. Reaching down to your little clit, I circle my thumb around it, a steady rhythm that instantly has your moans climbing higher.
"You want to cum, bunny? You needa cum for me?" You nod your head, tears streaming down your cheeks again. I bend down to kiss them away, drunk on the taste of them, the taste of you as I whisper into your ear. "Go on then. Cum for me, honey. Let it all out for me." I slam my hips into yours, the wet squelching of the impact continuing to echo in the room and fill the pit of my lust.
You throw your head back and scream, rooting your nails once more at my shoulder blades and clawing angry red lines so deep that blood begins to dribble from the scratches. It's too much for me to hold on any longer and I let go of the headboard in favor of wrapping my arms around you and pulling you into my chest, my hips grinding as far as I can go inside of you with a shuddering moan, a thick whimper just as pathetic as your own.
"Yeah, baby, fucking squeeze my cock. Milk me, bunny, take it all," I ramble through my release as I fill you up full of my hot, sticky love for you and what you do to me.
My thrusts slow until they're tiny ruts inside of you meant to draw out the last sparks of pleasure. You're whispering my name under your breath, small and repetitive, a tiny little chant that keeps you reminded of me.
I release the longer, trembling breath that had been pent up within me as I finally pull out of you. The strap disappears in the same stroke, and I grab the headboard again to hold myself up so I do not collapse on top of you.
I stare at your pretty face, coated in sweat and tears, still teased with the little pained expression painted on by your pleasure. Your lips are still forming my name, mouthing the word as you daze in and out of consciousness, your eyes nearly closed and blurry.
I place my hand on your cheek, bending down to you to kiss your precious lips and silence your whispers. I kiss you long and slow, completely different from the urgent, hungry kiss I'd devoured you with before. It brings you back to reality, gently pulls you back down to the ground after you were left floating in the clouds of sweet bliss.
When I pull away, your eyes are still closed and your breath is still unsteady. I shift to lay back down, hissing lightly at the stings of your claws in my back. Seeking my comfort, you move to lay your head on my chest and let me trace circles into your shoulders, along your collarbone. Your legs entwine with mine, and I can feel some of the wetness from your pussy of our mixed releases smear of my thigh.
Now you're mine. Forever claimed by my cum inside of you. No one else can have you.
We lay there in silence for a while. I thought you were asleep until you whispered in the faintest breath, "I'm sorry about your back."
I look down at you, smiling as I shake my head. "Don't be. Just means I'm yours forever."
You smile fondly at my response, "And I'm yours." I pull you closer.
You close your eyes to finally succumb to sleep, but it seems something has been eating away at your conscience, sticking to your brain like honey on your fingers.
"Was there someone else before me?" you whisper your eager question.
Where did this come from? The smallest flare of pain and nostalgia rises within me as I'm forced to think about such a time. I sigh gently, pulling you closer in an attempt at comforting myself. It takes me a moment to respond, uneasiness licking at my insides. "Yes."
You nod gently to yourself. "Who was she?"
I chuckle lightly before shrugging. "He was…everything to me." I sigh, staring at the ceiling through the dark space around us as I think. "We were going to have a life together."
You reach across my body and hold my side, stroking my bare skin with your thumb. You're trying to comfort me, make me feel better with the reminder of your presence. My heart swells. "What happened?" you whisper, your voice sticky with sleep.
I shrug once more. "What always happens… He was taken from me."
When you speak again, you're barely audible as the tiny mumble leaves you. "'M sorry, sweetheart."
Sweetheart. My perfect girl.
I shake my head gently. "Don't be sorry. It's okay." I glance down at you. "Do you know why?"
You peer up at me, a tiny smile on your sluggish face as your hazy gaze meets mine. "...Me?"
I smile wide and nod, reaching down to grab your chin as I pull you in another slow kiss. I hum into your mouth, stroking your cheek.
"Yes. You." I cup your cheek. "You are my everything now. And I am never letting you go." I pull you closer. "Ever."
You lick your lips. "Promise?"
I nod, "Promise."
You reach up to grab the back of my neck so you can kiss me again. Your lips are tired but insistent. "I love you, Wanda," you vow, pressing our foreheads together.
I feel a tear wet my cheek as my love for you wells up. I don't bother with wiping it away. "I love you, too, my zajačik."
~
Your hand is wrapped tightly in mine as we walk into the retail store you told me you wanted to go to. It had been weeks since you stepped out of the house, and you're still adjusting to seeing so many people around again as we step inside. You walk closely next to me, never once straying too far and pulling me with you whenever you are changing course too suddenly.
Bouncing from rack to rack, you pull clothes out and put some back, holding them up to yours and my body to get a visual of the style. You huff as you hold two hangers in your grip, trying to weigh the pros and cons as you struggle to choose.
You whine, "I want to get this jacket because it has deeper pockets, but I also want this jacket because of the zipper." You hold up both jackets: one is two sizes bigger than your own and would sag adorably off your shoulders (another reason you want it), the other is a biker jacket that can switch styles depending on how you choose to wear it.
"Get both," I shrug.
You drop your arms and make a pouting face. "I don't want to get both because it would be really expensive."
I laugh lightly, shrugging indifferently to your dilemma. "Get whatever you want. I will pay for it."
You sigh but still refuse to relent. "I'll get this one." You set the biker jacket on the handbasket on my arm, turning to put the other away.
"Then I will get this one." I grab it before you can put it up, adding it to the basket with a smile. You begin to argue before shaking your head, letting me do what I want.
"You spoil me," you mumble under your breath, failing at hiding your grin.
I chuckle, "I'm allowed to spoil you."
You shame your head again and look away to find something else. Your attention is violently gripped by a poster somewhere in the store advertising a sale. You take my hand and pull me behind you, bringing me to the undergarment section of the store.
"Mine keep disappearing," you comment, glancing slyly at me as I look away and pretend I don't see the look on your face.
You start picking through the folded pile of underwear with different colors and styles and sizes. I just watch you, lost in the way your face scrunches when you focus on something, the way your pretty eyes zero in to figure out what you want.
You notice me after a moment, glancing over my way before taking a double take as your eyes glue to mine. You chuckle, setting your options down again. "What?"
I don't move, humming as I keep looking over your face.
"Why are you smiling at me like that?" you ask, moving to take my hands to give yourself something to do as you stroke the backs of them fondly.
I shrug my shoulders. "You look so happy. I can't help it."
You breathe a laugh, leaning forward to place a quick kiss on my lips. "I'm happy when I'm with you," you confess lightly.
I raise a brow, leaning forward so you can hear my whisper. "You sure it's not because you're finally out of the house after being locked up for the past few weeks?"
You snort, "I would never leave that house again if it meant I got to keep you all to myself." You set your crooked finger under my chin, a quick tap, "You've got nothing to worry about, sweetheart."
Such a sweet little thing.
You move to step away from me, but my hands grip you a little tighter. "Wait, don't pull away… Not yet."
You step closer to me again, lingering there as I stroke the backs of your hands. I take in a deep breath, "I'm glad you're here."
You smile, wrapping your arms around my neck to pull me into a tight hug, my own arms falling to your waist. You kiss my cheek as you hold me for a little while longer.
"I'm glad you know I needed you."
You pull away as I chuckle, squeezing my hands before turning back to the piles in front of you and grabbing five pairs to put in the basket. "I saw some really nice dresses over here. We could get some and go get ice cream after?"
I smile fondly, finding your side and wrapping an arm around your waist. "Whatever you want, my zajačik."
You shudder at my name for you, leaning into my side for a moment before walking again.
There is no way I could ever let you go, my zajačik. I fought so hard to get you and now, here we are, walking around the store with our hands intertwined, smiling and laughing and enjoying the other's presence with an affection that warms my heart enough to light a fire.
I love you so much. I will always love you, my sweet girl.
And I will never let you go.
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blac-ivy · 4 months
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You know what I love? A break from the monotony of regular fics where the reader mc is a victim.
I love when the reader is the unhinged one. I love it when they're so deluded, so far gone that you as sane as you are (which can't be alot if you're on tumblr lol), that you start to see their point and even root for them.
It's like the ultimate girl power thing for me in like a screwed up way, to have the reader be the pursuer, the predator. It's so rare to see Yandere! Or obsessive! dark fics from that perspective.
I love seeing the common themes in dark fics, with a female reader as the instigator,
like the misogynistic "you're going to be my housewife and have my kids whether you like it or not" thing turned to " I'm just trying to be a good housewife for you and give you a family, I promise you'll love it" or " just let me make you feel good, I know you need it even if you don't know it yet" vibes
I love that. I'm going to eat it up everytime
If y'all know of any go ahead and comment. And to any writers who come across this don't be shy to self promote.
My preferred fandoms the MCU : the avengers, Captain America, TFAWS.Harry Potter, Twilight (which is dead as fuck)
Any C. Evans works, or S. Stan
250 notes · View notes
dbnightingale24 · 7 days
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My Little Decoy
A StevexReaderxBucky Messy Triangle
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Another story for Patreon! So, for this one, I'm a bit anxious (when am I not?), because this definitely took off in the complete opposite direction of what I initially planned. That being said, I hope you all enjoy it!
Thank you as always to @fuckingbye for the amazing moodboard, I love you to bits for literally everything you do! I was in the middle of updating three other stories when this idea came to me, so please just work with me! (I'm so sorry I'm like this.)
Anywho, here we go!
Word Count: 34,776 (I'm not even gonna apologize anymore)
Warnings: Honestly, this entire fucking story. SMUT (MINORS DNI 18+ ONLY), Threesome, Lying, Infidelity, Emotional Cheating, Swearing, Drinking, Infertility, Family Drama, Angst, Lusting, Daddy Kink, Running Away, Tie Play, Cuff Play, Crying, Fluff, Best friends to lovers...that's all I can think of? They're honestly so many.
Song(s) That Inspired This Chapter: Don't Look So Blue, You Should've Seen Right Thru, I'm Using You, My Little Decoy
Summary: You truly do have the best intentions when you try to move on and suppress your feelings for your best friend Steve, and try to move on with Bucky. Unfortunately, life doesn't give a damn about intentions. Neither does love.
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I do not give consent/permission for my stories/works to get posted elsewhere. I do not condone this type of behavior, this is for entertainment purposes only.
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You wonder how the hell it got to this point in the first place as you lay in Steve’s soft bed sheets. What feels like it should be a quiet moment of peace is juxtaposed with your current reality; Bucky pounding on the front door and you and Steve conspiring to think of some kind- any kind- of excuse.
You truly don’t understand how it got to this. 
It all feels like it started so long ago. You didn’t even know 6 years could feel so fast, much less pass so quickly. You look around at where you are now, at Steve, as you listen to the shaking of the front door against Bucky’s fist as he continues thumping away. Fuck. What if memories lie? Maybe it is that long ago.
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6 Years Earlier...
“Babe, you ever had a night out in the city?” Bucky asked as you took off your gear.
Training was brutal and everyone was looking for a way to relieve stress. You knew The Avengers were all planning to meet up at some club downtown, but you had other plans. 
“I have, and as much fun as it can be, I have other plans,” you laugh as you take your hair out of the tightest ponytail you’d ever had it in. 
“Oh? What are you getting into?” Natasha laughs, making her way over with Bruce holding onto her as if he’d lose her.
“My friend’s band is playing tonight. I promised her I’d go if we finished up early enough.”
“Oh, this I gotta see!” Bruce chimes in as you laugh and shake your head. “You never let us have a peak into your personal life!”
“God, I haven’t been to a show in forever,” Natasha chimes in with raised eyebrows.
He wasn’t wrong. You played everything so close to the chest; wanting to keep those you love and care for the most safe...wanting to keep yourself safe. Since none of them were relenting (not to mention they’re the damn Avengers), you finally agreed and told them to meet you outside of your room at the compound in about two hours.
“Is it too late for me to get in on this?” Steve asks just as the group was about to disperse.
“There you are!” Bucky interjects before anyone has a chance to say anything. “Y/N is giving us a peak into her personal life! We’re all meeting at her place in two hours and going from there,” he laughs patting his best friend on the back. 
Steve looked at you with a cocked eyebrow and you just laugh and nod, giving him the ‘OK’ to tag along. Unbeknownst to the others, you and Steve hung out the most. No, he’d never been privy to your personal life, but you two spent a lot of time watching movies and listening to music together on the weekends. Occasionally, Bucky would get in on the action, but it was mainly you and Steve. You and Steve had a certain level of comfort that you didn’t have with the rest of them. It was more of an unspoken, private thing and that’s how the both of you preferred it. You both understood each other, and neither of you ever made the other feel sad or out of place for things that had gone wrong in each other’s past. You both had wounds you were still healing from, and you gave each other the space needed for that to happen. 
You’d always had a thing for Steve. He kept himself at a distance, so it was difficult for you to tell if he ever felt the same. After a while, you’d stopped trying and just accepted him as a friend. He told you that he’d wanted to go back and stay with Peggy, but he was too afraid to leave Bucky on his own again, so he’d come back instead. He wasn’t even sure if Bucky would ever be okay with being alone; Steve just stayed without asking him. It seemed like the right thing to do, and he didn’t hate the current timeline too much.
Soon enough, everyone is in your small little complex, drinking and laughing as you put together the last bit of your outfit. The thought of Steve joining all of you had you more anxious than you cared to admit, so you chalked it up to the normal anxiety of inviting your work colleagues into your personal life.
Which was more than fair.
“I’m sure you look amazing, lets go! I’m too excited for this!” Natasha hollers as she makes her way into your bedroom.
“Nat!”
“Oh, they’re all in there drinking away! You’re fine,” she laughs, closing the door behind her. “Well shit!”
“I swear to God, I’ll change right now!”
“No! You look amazing!” she promised as her hands covered her mouth. “None of us have ever seen you out of work clothes, and babe...you look amazing,” she laughs in shock. 
“Should I change? I don’t want to give anyone the wrong idea-”
“If you’re comfortable, who cares. No one wants to interfere with your personal life. I think we’re all more afraid of pushing you away,” she laughs.
“You really think it’s okay?”
“I mean, I think you’re hot as fuck,” she laughed as you rolled your eyes, “but I think you look amazing.”
“You sure?”
“Get enough alcohol in them , they won’t even notice when you leave for the bathroom,” she laughed.
Even though you laughed along with her, you knew better. James Buchanan Barnes kept his attention on you almost as well as Steve, but you never thought anything of it. It always had a more platonic feeling than with Steve, almost more familial.   
When you came out, Steve was the first to look at you. His mouth slightly agape was enough to make you wanna go back, but Bucky was quick to chime in-
“Someone is ready for a night out,” he laughed.
That’s all it took. 
Soon enough, you were taking shots and laughing with everyone else. Even Pepper and Tony were excited and joined you all. Your life was something so foreign to them, and you could tell that they all felt extremely excited that you trusted them enough. 
In all honesty, you felt more comfortable because Steve was there. You knew he’d never let anything happen to you, and you’d never let anything happen to him. If you were being completely honest, you’d only wanted to invite him out. How it spiraled, you’re still not sure but it did. It The only thing that felt off was letting him see you dressed as you were. It was weird for all of them to see you dressed as you were, but Steve couldn’t take his eyes off you.
You were in red plaid crop top, with tight fighting black jeans that hugged your hips in just the right way, and black low top heels. You put your hair in loose curls, and finished it off with eyeliner and mascara. After a brutal day of training, you really didn’t wanna spend forever doing your makeup, because you knew you’d wanna come home after everything was over and go right back to sleep. Yeah, everything was hugging your body in just the right way, but you weren’t about to change. 
You were introducing them to your life.
Before you all left, Thor filled three flasks with his mead from Asgard for himself, Steve, and Bucky and you laughed pretty damn hard.
“We wanna enjoy this night too,” he winked at you as you rolled your eyes. 
The walk was easy enough, but it felt like it took forever. People kept asking for pictures with the OG Avengers, they had a million questions, and of course they were all happy to be as kind as possible. It’s not that you minded all that much, but you really missed your best friend. Work had been kicking your ass, she had been extremely busy, and was in the middle of planning her wedding. Nights off were extremely rare, but actually getting to see her and her friends perform? It had been forever.
“You made it!” she squealed once you were finally inside the club with everyone, almost knocking you over with how hard she hugged you.
“I told you I’d show! Even if I would’ve only caught the last song,” you laughed as you hugged her back just as tight. “We still on for drinks after?”
“Fuck yes! Your tits look amazing in this top, we’re definitely getting free drinks out of it,” she beamed with a wink and you burst out laughing. “Okay, I’ve seen all of you on TV, but I still wanna officially meet everyone,” she smiled at everyone. “I’m Meg.”
As everyone went around introduced themselves, you made your way to the bar, to grab your signature Jack and Coke.
“Hell yes! You made it!” Meg’s finance, Paul, beamed as he made your drink.
“Why is everyone so shocked that I’m here?!”
“You haven’t been to a show in years!”
“Blah, blah, blah,” you muttered as you reached behind the bar and grabbed his pack of cigarettes.
“You bring the Avengers with you and you dare to steal from me?” he sneered sarcastically as he handed you your drink.
You laughed as you reached across the bar and kissed his cheek, “I’m sure our friendship will survive it.”
“Yeah, I guess you’re right. Dude, I had no idea the place would be so packed tonight.”
“I have a feeling everyone here had a long ass Friday.” “Yeah, well they better treat my baby right.” “You two!”
He rolled his eyes as he flipped you off, “enjoy the show!”
“Thank you, Paaauuullll,” you sang out as everyone joined you.
You looked up to see Steve staring at you intently, and he quickly turned towards the stage when he realized he was caught. Before you could allow yourself to think on it or feel flattered, you heard your best friend yell from the stage as she started to make her guitar scream.
“We’re ‘Flowers of Cinnamon’, and thanks for spending your Friday night with us!”
From that moment on, you were barely paying attention to your surroundings. With the exception of your drink, you didn’t focus on anything other than your best friend rocking the fuck out. It had always just been a hobby for her, but she had always been so damn good at it. You envied how effortlessly performing came to her. The band was a cross between Paramore, The Bangles, and All Time Low, and they were just as amazing as you remembered. You wouldn’t have been able to stay still even if you’d wanted to. You sang and danced along to every song, bouncing around, and screaming your head off. You had no clue that Steve had been watching you with the biggest grin on his face, Bucky had been watching your chest bounce up and down, or that Tony had been recording your reaction to your best friend’s music, smiling so hard at your happiness.
Every other song, your best friend made eye contact with you and laughed, and nothing else seemed to matter. Thinking back on it, you wished it had, because maybe things wouldn’t have gotten so fucked up, but you were just so damn happy. The more drinks got, the more you danced and sang around, finally feeling comfortable and happy, even with your new set of friends watching you.
“Okay, this is gonna be our last song for the night,” Meg smiled into the microphone and she laughed at amount of “boos” they received. “Listen, I wanna get fucked up too!” she joked, gaining laughs from the crowd. “Okay, so tonight is extremely special because my best friend on the entire planet is here and brought her friends with her! Thanks babe! So, our last song is gonna be a cover of one of her favorite songs ever,” she winked at you as you cocked an eyebrow.
As soon as you heard the first cord of ‘Decoy’ by Paramore hum out of the speakers, you screamed so loud that everyone in your group (and Paul) started laughing. 
‘Close your eyes and make believe that this is where you wanna be
Forgetting all the memories, try to forget love cause love’s forgotten me
Well hey, hey baby, it’s never too late
Pretty soon you won’t remember a thing
All I’ll be distant, the stars reminiscing
Your heart’s been wasted on me’
You sang along so effortlessly as you started to jump up and down.
‘You’ve never been so used as I’m using you, abusing you
My little decoy
Don’t look so blue, you should’ve seen right through
I’m using you, my little decoy
My little decoy’
You linked arms with Nat, who clearly didn’t know the song, but was more than happy to sing and dance along with you. You glanced around and it made you so happy to see everyone else happy and having a good time. It’s not like you were a stick in the mud at work but, you never let loose. Even when it came to holiday and birthday parties, you were pretty damn reserved. The only person who can claim that they’ve seen you fucked up is Steve, and even then it was just you being wine drunk on the sofa while you two listened to albums and discussed work.
No, this was you letting lose and everyone accepting it. Accepting you. You looked over at Steve and he a look of pure love and adoration in his eyes, and it made your heart swell. 
God, you wished you would’ve paid more attention to the way both he and Bucky looked at you that night, but you were just so damn happy and having so much fun.
If you could turn back time...
“Am I still okay at singing?” Meg asked once she finally made her way over to all of you.
“Dude, you’re still fucking amazing!” you beamed as you wrapped her in a tight hug and she laughed. “That was so good! Thank you for playing ‘Decoy’, almost making me cry!”
“Aha!” she teased before she looked at everyone else. “What about Earth’s mightiest heroes? Were you all able to tolerate it?”
“That was amazing,” Tony laughed, Pepper nodding in agreement.
“Why don’t you do this full time?” Nat asked as you waived Paul down and got another drink for both you and Meg.
“If I did this full time, I’d be so stressed all the damn time,” Meg laughed, “I’m much happier painting.”
“What do you paint? Do you have a studio?” Clint inquired and a smile came to your face.
Things were going better than you could have ever imagined. 
As everyone got acquainted, you snuck to have a smoke. A few moments later, a smile came to your face when you saw Steve come out after you.
“You said you’re quitting those,” he nodded towards the cigarette in your hand. 
“I stole Paul’s,” you laughed, standing a little further from him so as to not get the smoke in his face. 
“I can handle it,” he laughed as he placed his black leather jacket on you. “You’re pretty...exposed and I don’t want you getting cold.”
“Well, aren’t you just the sweetest man?” you teased before you inhaled your cancer stick. “Who else knows about this? I’ll call the ‘New York Times’” He snickered as he shook his head, “quiet you.”
“Are you having fun tonight?”
“I am, I like you seeing like this.”
You scoffed, “crazy?” “Happy...content. Secure.”
You felt your cheeks heat up at his words, and the look he gave you along with it, had butterflies appearing in your stomach.
“We should get back inside,” you smiled at up at him as you ashed the last of your cigarette and threw it in the nearby trash bin. 
And maybe that’s when it started.
You just missed all the signs that night, because you were convinced Steve didn’t want you.
He convinced you he didn’t want you. 
When the two of you got back inside, Paul had just finished up his shift and the guys had finished helping Meg back up her equipment which she had decided to lock up in the manager’s office for the night. 
“Dancing! We need dancing!” she whined once her eyes landed on you.
“Hell yeah we do,” you laughed as you linked arms with both her and Nat.
Once again, you didn’t notice the way Bucky ogled you or the way Steve kept a close eye on you. When you all reached the next bar, you instantly ordered more drinks and pulled Nat and Meg onto the dance floor with you, still wearing Steve’s coat. He leaned against the bar, talking with Tony and Pepper, but still kept an eye on you. As Janet Jackson’s voiced filled the giant building, you danced around with the biggest smile on your face (at some point Meg had put her sunglasses on your face), smiling and waiving at Bucky when you saw his eyes glued to you.
Well, glues to your ass.
By the time everyone was ready to call it a night, you were drunk as shit.
“You’re not coming back to the compound?” Nat asked as she stumbled out after you.
“Nah, I wanna sleep in my own space tonight. It’s closer,” you giggled as you started giving out hugs.
“I can take you,” Bucky offered with a slick grin.
“I can take her, she’s on the way to my house,” Steve countered, and Meg cocked an eyebrow at you.
You just started dancing and walking. 
“Goodnight everyone! Get home safe! I love you all!”
You were drunk, tired, and in no mood to figure out whatever that was about. You just wanted to go home and get in your bed. You honestly don’t know why you didn’t go back to the compound that night, but it just felt right to go to your own home. You already spent so little time there to begin with. A few moments later, you heard the hurried footsteps of someone behind you, but you kept looking ahead.
“You’re impatient when you’re drunk,” Steve laughed as he came up beside you.
A small smile came to your face at the fact that Steve was the one to walk you home.
You giggled as you leaned into him, “my feet hurt.”
No sooner than you said it, he scooped you up.
“Steve!”
“You weigh nothing, don’t worry about it, darlin.” “It’s a 30 minute walk!” 
“I’m very well aware of where your apartment is.” “Steve-”
“Hush.”
You pouted but did as you were told, leaned into him, and took in the scent that was all his own. Something between woodsy and fresh cut grass. In your drunken state, he felt like home.
“Why didn’t you want Bucky to take me home?” you asked after a few moments, not missing the way he stiffened a bit.
“He’s a little buzzed and he gets a little handsy and flirty at times. I didn’t want him to bother you.” You giggled as you took in more of his scent, “you’re literally carrying me, Steve.” “You said your feet hurt.” “Are you a little buzzed?”
“I definitely don’t feel sober,” he chuckled softly and you softly sighed at the comfort of rumble in his chest.
“Do you wanna sleepover?”
“I’ll order a car service once I drop you off.”
“Why not order one now?”
“It was weird...everyone hanging out tonight. I feel like we haven’t hung out alone together in a while.” “Then why not sleepover?”
“Cause I should go home. I don’t wanna accidentally wake you up or something. You worked hard today and you need rest.” “So did you.” “Y/N.” “You’re so weird sometimes, Steve,” you huffed as you laced your hand with his.
“What are you doing?”
“Holding your hand like I’ve done a million times before. What’s wrong?” “Nothing.”
You rolled your eyes and mumbled, “alright weirdo.” “I’m not being weird.”
“You’re not being normal.”
He let out a frustrated huff, “did you have fun tonight?”
“So much fun, I’m so happy you came out.”
“I’ve missed you, darlin.” “I’ve missed you too. Steve?”
“Hmm?”
“Sleepover.”
“Y/N-” “See? You are being weird. You’ve slept over my place a ton before, in my bed, and it wasn’t weird. What’s so different about tonight?”
He muttered, “so many things.” “Like what?”
“It’s just been a long night.”
“Fine, whatever. Go home, see if I give a fuck.” “Hey!”
“You’re being weird and you won’t tell me why. You know I hate when you do that shit.”
“I just think I should sleep in my own bed, darlin’. I’m not trying to be weird or make you upset.”
He sounded so strained and you couldn’t read his facial expression, so you couldn’t see how torn up he was. You couldn’t tell how much he was at war with himself.
You couldn’t tell how much he wanted you.
He chuckled when you didn’t say anything, “don’t get quiet on me now.”
“Can you at least stay until I fall asleep? It won’t take long.” “Everything okay, darlin’?”
“Yeah Steve, I just miss you,” you confessed softly. 
“We’ll do a sleepover tomorrow, alright? We’ll have it at my house.” “Fine.” “Don’t be upset.” “I don’t care.” “You’re also a giant brat when you’re drunk.” “You’re saying that you miss me, but won’t spend time with me!”
God, you sounded like a brat to your own ears. That was a huge part as to why you’d never let him see you so inebriated. It’s why you never wanted anyone from The Avengers (or S.H.I.E.L.D for that matter) to see you so drunk. It became harder for you to suppress your feelings for Steve, and he’s all you wanted when you were drunk. For reasons unknown to you (at the time), Steve wanted to go home. That should’ve been enough, but your drunk wanted to hold him all night. 
You were going out of your way to start an argument. 
He let out a heavy sigh as he reached your complex, “I’ll stay-”
“Don’t do me any fucking favors-” “Will stop arguing with me? And stop with swearing, you know I hate it.” “Well maybe I hate you.”
He scoffed hard at that, “no you don’t.”
“You don’t know that-”
“Yes I do, so stop saying it. I’ll stay, okay?”
“And you’ll sleep next to me?”
“Yes darlin’, I will sleep next to you.”
You pressed a soft kiss to his neck and you felt his grip on you get tighter, “thank you, Steve!”
“Anything for you, sweetheart.”
That night, he was good to his word and slept next to you, letting use his chest as a pillow and you were asleep almost instantly. The next day, he was back to normal and you didn’t think anything of his behavior from the previous night. You had no reason to. However, from that day on, things did slowly start to change more. 
It started with Bucky coming around more, especially when Steve was with you. You couldn’t sense it, because has always been entirely too good at hiding his emotions, but he slowly became frustrated. So much that he basically stopped coming around all together. 
“Hey, are you busy?” you asked timidly as you approached his office one day.
“Yeah, unfortunately.” “Oh...okay then-”
“What’s wrong?”
“No, you’re busy and I don’t wanna take up your time...”
You could feel your eyes welling up and didn’t know why. Steve always had a way of making you so damn soft and vulnerable, and you truly hated it.
You still hate it. 
“Darlin’-” “Please stop calling me that. The guy who started calling me that doesn’t seem to exist anymore. If he does, he’s making sure to stay away from me.”
“He still exists-” “Then what’s going on? Why are you staying away from me?”
He sighed as he threw down his pen, “nothing-”
“Alright, if you’re just gonna lie to me-” “I’m not lying!”
“Steve, you saw me walking with Bucky yesterday and literally turned in the other direction and walked away.” “You guys are just hanging out a lot now and I don’t wanna third wheel-” “You wouldn’t third wheeling! We’re just friends!”
“Y/N...” “Steve, why are you just abandoning me? You’re the one I’m closest to and you know that. You’ve always known that,” you sobbed as you closed the door behind you.
“Please don’t cry-” “Then why are you abandoning me?! What did I do wrong?!”
“Nothing-”
“Then what the fuck?! You’ve been acting so strange, but you’re saying I haven’t done anything! If I didn’t do anything, what the fuck is going on with you?!”
He let out another frustrated sigh and just stared at you, clearly at war with himself.
“Fuck this and fuck you, I give up,” you sobbed as you dried your eyes. 
“Darlin’”
“Stop calling me that! I’m just Y/N and you’re just Steve. I can’t do this with you anymore!”
After you stormed out, things only got worse, because you’d never felt so low and alone in your life. Unless it had to do with a mission or training, you barely even looked his way. The farther you got away from Steve, the more Bucky swooped in. In fact, the more you look at how everything happened, you realize that things wouldn’t have gotten so bad if you’d just shut things down with the both of them. 
However, it’s not as if thinking with a broken heart ever lead to a good thing. 
You cried a lot and Bucky was just there for you. He was sweet, he listened, and let you keep your secrets. Sure, he asked what happened between you and Steve (everyone was), but he dropped it when you told him you wouldn’t be talking about it.
You can’t explain what you don’t know. 
“Hey doll, we’re goin’ out tonight. You wanna come? Invite Meg!” Bucky asked one night after you let him in your apartment on the compound.
“Nah, I’ve got a hot date with a black and white French film and a few glasses of wine,” you smiled weakly.
“You can’t stay in here forever.”
“I don’t. Sometimes I go home.” “Babe-”
“I just wanna stay in, Buck,” you sighed as someone else knocked on your door. “I guess I’m just the most popular girl in the world.”
When you opened it the second time, Steve stood there looking just as upset as you felt. Instead of even trying to attempt to hear him out, a rage flared up inside you and you had to force yourself to not shove him. As far as you were concerned, he had a lot of fucking nerve to show up at your place after all the shit that happened in his office. 
“What?”
“I wanted to know if you’re coming out tonight-”
“No.”
“Well, can I come in and we can talk? I know I owe you an explanation-”
“I don’t want an explanation anymore, Steve,” you lied harshly, “I just want you to leave me alone. I stood in your office and cried like a fucking dumbass...that was a month ago. Now you wanna talk? Just leave things as they are.”
You truly wish you hadn’t spoken out of anger because none of it was true. You cried over him whenever you were alone, you missed hanging out with him, you missed falling asleep next to him...you missed Steve. Your Steve.
You’ve always been a hot head. 
“Darlin-” “What have I told you about that?” “Y/N, just give me a few minutes-”
“No, go away. Unless it has to do with work, we don’t have anything to talk about.” “You don’t mean that,” he more pleaded than told you.
“I’ve never meant it more!”
“Y/N-”
Bucky sighed as he came up behind you, “she just needs to cool off, Pal.”
If you hadn’t been so upset and hurt you would’ve laughed at how wide Steve’s eyes got.
“We’ll talk to you tomorrow, okay?”
“I thought you were coming out. It was your idea in the first damn place,” Steve snapped.
“I don’t wanna leave Y/N while she’s this upset. She shouldn’t be alone right now.”
Steve opened his mouth to say something, but all that happened was he clenched his jaw and looked away before he stormed off, punching the wall on his way out.
You should’ve spoken to him. You should’ve gone after him. Instead you pushed past Bucky and made yourself your first glass of wine of the night.
“Babe-”
“Buck, if you’re gonna stay here tonight, please no lectures. I just wanna be upset, okay?”
He just nodded solemnly, “I get it. No lectures, just drinks and weird French movies,” he smirked and you quietly laughed. 
Here’s the thing: it’s not that you never found Bucky attractive, you just never thought about him. You were always thinking about Steve. However, at that time, thinking about Steve brought you too much pain and you didn’t want to feel anymore pain for a while. You just wanted to feel numb. You’d rather have nothing, the void, than hold onto the pain Steve’s brought on. 
You rested your legs on him when he sat next to you, not thinking anything of it. When he started stroking your leg after the third glass of wine, you still didn’t think anything of it. You only started to pick up on his actions when he squeezed your thigh a little.
“Buck?”
“Yeah doll?” “What are you doing?”
“Trying to help you relax and feel better.”
“Buck-”
“I’ve never seen you this upset, babe. I just wanna help.”
The thought and the offer were tempting. You couldn’t remember the last time you had gotten off to something other than your vibrator. Of course you’d made subtle advances towards Steve, but he’d clearly turned you down. Plus, the women around the compound did talk. While Bucky had a reputation for being a skirt chaser, he also had a reputation for wearing women out in the best way.
It’s not like you were looking for anything. You just wanted to forget for awhile. 
He tested the waters a bit more by sliding his hand further up your leg, waiting to see how you’d respond. 
You placed your wine glass on the ground and opened your legs for him a bit, “you just wanna make me feel better?”
“So fuckin’ good, doll,” he husked, as he reached between your legs and easily ripped your panties off, “just lay back and enjoy, baby.”
His movements were slow, but his kisses were desperate. It felt good, but off. Not to mention you felt more guilty with every kiss he gave you, like you were betraying Steve.
‘Fuck Steve,’ you told yourself mentally, ‘he had his chance and he clearly didn’t want it.’
You closed your eyes in a vain attempt to shut out any thoughts of Steve, but that only made his face come to mind. You let out a sound between a moan and a frustrated grunt as you pulled Bucky’s hair.
“Please!”
“Tell me how bad you want it,” he smirked, his hot breath lapped at your pussy.
“So fucking bad, please! Need it!”
“Love seeing you like this,” he cooed, before he dipped down and dove in and his lewd moans filled the room.
This was the moment Bucky became your “decoy”. You didn’t want him in the same way he wanted you, but part of you felt like he didn’t actually give a shit. Since he’d lost Nat to Bruce, Bucky wasn’t ever really looking for a relationship. He liked to play around, entertain a woman (or two) for a few months, then he’d move on. As far as you were concerned, that night was only supposed to be a one time thing. 
“F-fuck!” you moaned, doing your best to be in the moment as you lulled your head back while he fucked you with his tongue and massaged your clit with his thumb. “Feels so good, Buck!”
You weren’t lying completely. It’s not as if Bucky was bad at eating you out, he just wasn’t the one you wanted doing it. 
You felt him smirk against your folds, and started to grind your pussy against his face, forcing yourself to focus on all the pleasure you felt instead of everything else.
‘Steve doesn’t want you. Steve doesn’t want you. Stop thinking about Steve!’ you told yourself mentally.
When he switched up and started sucking on your clit, he easily pressed two fingers into your soaked folds. You felt the knot in your core tighten and snap.
“FUCK!” you cried out as you came hard and a few tears escaped your eyes.
You hated how the tears weren’t from pleasure, but you masked it well enough as he fucked you through your high.
“Take off that fuckin’ shirt, baby. Let me fuckin’ see you,” he husked as he took off his own shirt and started to undo his jeans. 
You were quick to do as he said, taking all of him as you ignored how uncomfortable you felt being so bare beneath him as his mouth glistened with your juices.
You were doing this to feel better, so why weren’t you feeling any better?
“Waited so fuckin’ long, baby,” he groaned as he dipped down and worshiped each of your breasts while his thumb made little circles on your clit.
“Bucky!”
“I know baby, I’m gonna take care of you, gonna take such good care of you,” he moaned before you felt his tongue on the side of your neck, licking up little beads of sweat. 
You took a deep breath and told yourself you wanted it as you felt him at your entrance. You wanted Bucky. You just needed to let yourself relax.
“Jesus, you’re fuckin’ tight!” he grunted as he pushed into you.
“Oh fuck!”
“I know you can take me, baby! Your wet little pussy is squeezing me so tight, baby!” “Please don’t stop,” you whimpered as you wrapped a leg around his waist, trying to hang on to him as he fucked into you hard and fast.
You wanted this. You agreed to this.
He pushed himself up with his metal arm and looked down at you adoringly, “wanted you for so long, doll. Waited for...ah fuck!”
To avoid feeling anymore guilt, you wrapped an arm around him to pull him close and kissed him passionately, moaning into his mouth when you felt him fill you to the brim. He rode out both your highs before he rested his forehead against yours.
“So good, baby. You tired?” he asked, breath still coming heavy.
You just closed your eyes and shook your head no.
“Good girl.”
Bucky kept at it for a while, not feeling any real pleasure until he brought you off (which you had to fake half the time). There was nothing wrong with him. You found him attractive, and you knew that he wanted you, but it just wasn’t what you wanted. All of it felt so hollow and emotionless on your end. You felt like you were acting and Bucky was working his ass off to please you; to make matters worse, your phone kept going off and you knew who it was.
Steve would’ve hated you if he knew what you were doing and who with, but a part of you felt like he already did. When you both were done, Bucky was a gentleman. He pulled your shirt over your head, carried you to bed, and held you close until you both fell asleep.
You didn’t cry until the next day when you woke up alone in an empty apartment. You ignored calls from both Bucky and Steve, and eventually Bucky was the only one texting you.
Something in you knew that Bucky had confirmed his suspicions, and you just knew he was furious. You and Steve both knew Bucky wasn’t a bad guy, he was just a player and Steve never wanted that for you. 
Eventually you cracked and called Meg, and cried while you told her everything. 
“Well...fuck,” she muttered once you finally got everything out. “Are you sure Steve knows?”
“His calls and texts were incessant until they weren’t. He hasn’t done either in the last 3 hours.”
“Oh yeah no, he definitely fucking knows. Bucky?”
“Bucky went from every 30 minutes to every other hour.”
“Well, what’s wrong with him?” “Nothing...”
“Except?” 
“He’s not Steve.”
“Yeah, but Steve passed up on you, and he was kind of a dick about it. He waited a month until after the office situation? You’ve been showing him your available for how many years? I know you love him, but-”
“I don’t love him.”
“Yeah, cause that’s you’re crying to me about him instead of the skirt chaser that fucked your brains out?”
“Meg.”
“I’m not being insensitive, I’m being honest. Bucky was there last night, clearly wanted you, was with you all night, and all you could think about was Steve. Today, even though Bucky is still texting you, you’re more upset that Steve isn’t because you know he knows. If I were you, I’d be more worried about the guy that’s used to fucking around breaking my heart, than the guy who isn’t,” she sighed.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
“Steve had his chance, I need to let him go. I’ve been in my room crying all day...I have to stop.”
“Can you?”
“I don’t have much of a choice do I?”
“Babe, if you could end up with Steve, I’d prefer that, but that’s not really an option. Even if he came back, he gave you the run around for a bit. Just focus on you for now and what you want. You always want to make others happy, and you need to focus on you.”
“You’re right. I know you’re right.”
“Do you need me to come over?”
“No, being alone is good for me right now.”
“Alright, I love you, Y/N. It’s gonna be okay.”
You let out a heavy sigh as you sobbed, “I love you,” and hung up.
You ignored Bucky for the rest of the day, feeling guilty about it, but knowing it was for the best. You’d done enough wrong and you truly did need to focus on you and what you wanted.
However, before you fell asleep, you broke down and checked all your texts from Steve.
O Captain, My Captain: Darlin, please just talk to me. I’m so sorry.
O Captain, My Captain: I’m not going out tonight, please just answer me.
O Captain, My Captain: Don’t do anything with Bucky. He’s my best friend, but he’s not worthy of you. He won’t treat you right and you know that.
O Captain, My Captain: Please just answer me.
O Captain, My Captain: If I could take back my actions, I would. I’m so sorry. If you’d just talk to me, I’d be able to make you understand.
O Captain, My Captain: Please talk to me. I miss you so much.
O Captain, My Captain: I’m going to sleep, but give me a call whenever.
O Captain, My Captain: Seriously? All night and you’re still not talking to me?
O Captain, My Captain: Baby, please just talk to me. We’ve never gone this long without talking, and I fucking hate it.
O Captain, My Captain: Y/N...please.
O Captain, My Captain: Bucky just left. You’ve made yourself loud and clear, and fine. I got it.
O Captain, My Captain: Do whatever the fuck you want.
When you woke up the following day, you had the biggest headache from crying, and the last thing you felt like doing was facing either of them. You had a job to do though, and criminals didn’t stop being criminals just because you had a broken heart. Even though you were slower to dress than usual, you were still on time for training, and God, it was brutal.
Bucky kept looking at you, Steve wouldn’t even look your way, and you couldn’t focus. You’d never had a day so bad, and all you wanted was to crawl back into bed. During the meeting after, you just leaned against the wall, barely listening to anything Nick had to say. The one time you bothered to look up, you looked over at Steve and was glaring at you. 
God, you really fucking hated yourself. 
“Doll, wait up!” Bucky called after you once the meeting was over.
You’d practically run out of the room.
“Bucky, I really just want-”
“What did I do wrong?” he breathed once he caught up to you. “Everything seemed fine on Saturday, I thought we both enjoyed it.”
You didn’t miss the way Steve quietly scoffed as he walked past the both of you.
“Bucky, I just-”
“Did I hurt you? What...I really like you, Y/N. I have for a while and I just...was I too eager?”
You honestly hadn’t expected that.
“Wait...what?”
“I never said anything, because I thought you and Steve had a thing going, but that’s clearly not happening. You were just so upset on Saturday and I wanted to make you happy, and I’ve wanted you for so long...what did I do?”
Trash. You felt like absolute trash.
“I need to get to my room.” “Y/N-”
“Just...I’ll talk to you later, okay? You didn’t do anything wrong, I promise. I just have a lot going on in my head. I just need to be by myself for a while.”
“Please just-”
“I’ll talk to you later, okay? I’m sorry.”
~~
You can read the rest here.
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pietrotheavenger · 2 months
Text
learn to love
chapter 14 - how to breathe
summary: steve and y/n don’t get along. now, they have to.
pairings: au!steve rogers x fem!reader
warnings: alcohol
a/n: two years later LMFAO dedicated to anon. proofread once and did not edit. there will be another chapter!
series masterlist
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steve did not text y/n when he got home. she stayed up an hour, waiting for her phone to light up with his text, but it never did. she didn’t know when she fell asleep that night, but when it came it was restless and absent of any dreams.
the following day was a rinse and repeat of her daily life; wake up, get ready for work, take the subway, and pretend to be busy for eight hours. when she got home and kicked her shoes off, all she wanted was a glass of wine. she paused at the fridge and she checked her phone for what felt like the millionth time that day. no new texts. she sighed, poured herself a glass, and sat down at the dining table. she looked around the empty apartment, her thoughts naturally drifting to steve as they usually did.
what was he doing? was he thinking about her? why hadn’t he texted her?
she pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed again. then, she stood up with a start. since when did she sit around feeling sorry for herself? since when? she felt a bit of anger bubble up inside of her. all of this melancholy over a man? god, if she was one of her friends, she would’ve told herself to get a grip. well, she thought, nothing a good shower can’t fix. she pushed her thoughts of steve and his pink lips to the side, and took her glass of wine with her to the bathroom.
an hour later, while y/n was moisturizing her freshly shaved legs, her phone chirped. she looked over, absentmindedly singing along to the music she had put on for her shower. a text. she looked closer. from natasha. she finished applying the cream, then picked her phone up.
nat: will be home from work late tonight. don’t watch love island without me!
she smiled briefly, and shot back a reply.
y/n: wouldn’t dream of it! i don’t feel like cooking so i’ll order a pizza
she set her phone back on the counter, her gaze falling on natasha’s organizer filled with hair accessories. she looked up at the mirror, at her wet hair. she picked up her phone and sent another text to natasha.
y/n: can i borrow your hair pins?
a moment later:
nat: go for it
she quickly set to work blow drying her hair. natasha’s hair was always perfectly curled, and y/n had watched her on multiple occasions use pins to keep the curls in their shape and she had always wanted to try it herself, and see if her hair could be just as bouncy, or if the red head was just using sorcery. before she began curling her hair, she ordered the pizza so that it would arrive around the same time she was done. she also needed to refill her glass.
30 minutes later, she heard a knock at the door. “just a second!” she called out, as she carefully rolled up the last curl and clipped it into place. she paused to admire her handiwork. there was a couple stray pieces of hair sticking out, but overall not bad for her first time trying. she ran out of the bathroom and stopped in the hallway to rummage through her purse for cash. “one second, sorry!” she called out again, hoping the delivery person wouldn’t be annoyed with her. she barely missed stumbling over her shoes before she finally reached the door and opened it.
standing in front of her was six feet and two inches of man. of a man that was quite familiar to her. steve, to be specific. in his hand, in place of the box of pizza that she was expecting, was a bouquet of daffodils wrapped together with light blue cellophane and a bow.
“y/n,” he exhaled, seeming as if he had forgotten what he was going to say.
“steve,” she said, surprise equally evident in her voice and her face.
“i want you,” he rushed out so fast that it seemed that it was all one word. “i want you,” he repeated, slower. the second his eyes had fallen on her, all of the things he had planned to say to her flew out of his head. in their place, all that remained was one thing. one person, to be specific. her.
“steve,” she whispered.
he took a step closer. “i want you,” he said again, his voice low. she wordlessly stepped aside and allowed him to enter the apartment. she closed the door and turned around to face him and pressed her hands together to keep them from shaking. she didn’t meet his eyes, instead looking down at the shoes she had almost tripped over just a minute earlier. he sighed her name and reached for her hand, placing it on his chest, over his heart. she finally looked up at him, eyes searching his expression. “these past months without you,” he began, “have been the most agonizing of my life. i never realized that i need you the way i need air. when i saw you last night, it was like i remembered how to breathe again.
“i can’t lose you. i don’t care about all your stupid worries, i don’t care what my family would think about all of this. all i care is that i have you. i need you, i need to be able to breathe,” he said. “i can’t spend another moment of my life without you, y/n. i’ll do whatever i can to make this work, i’ll do whatever i can to make you happy, i promise. i just need you.”
her lips parted but she did not reply. they stared at each other for a full minute. he waited for an answer from her, anything. even a, “no steve.” but she said nothing. his heart was beating fast and he knew she could feel it. his hand fell from hers, and he broke eye contact.
her heart dropped, and she instantly knew that she shared the same madness as him. “steve,” she murmured, her hand trailing up to his face. her fingers carefully traced over his jawline, his stubble tickling her fingers. his blue eyes lifted to meet hers again. there was a small brown mole on his cheek. she had never noticed it. she wrapped both of her arms around his neck and pulled him in for an embrace. he wrapped his arms around her waist, holding her tight. the flowers became slightly crushed in the process, but he didn’t noticed. he buried his face in her neck, savoring her sweet, clean scent. one of the metal pins in her hair poked the side of his head, and she gasped, “oh my god,” and pulled back, her hand flying up to touch her hair.
“what?” he snapped, feeling a flash of agitation at the interruption of their hug. though she hadn’t escaped from his arms quite yet.
“my hair,” she gawked, as if it should have been obvious to him. he let himself take a good look at her. she was dressed in pajama pants and a college t-shirt, and her hair was pinned up like a woman out of a 1950’s fashion magazine. he smiled to himself. she looked ethereal. the annoyed look on her face quickly brought him back down to reality.
he fought the urge to roll his eyes and said instead, “it doesn’t matter.” how could it matter, when she was here with him? he swore his heart skipped a beat. she hadn’t said much, but she didn’t need to. this had to happen. he needed her and he would do whatever he possibly could for her to be his.
“it matters to me! i look ridiculous!” she cried, turning her head to look in the mirror on the wall next to the front door. she reached up and pulled a pin out, the curl falling down in a perfect spiral, mesmerizing steve.
he touched the piece of hair, making her hand stop mid air as she went to unfasten another curl. he wrapped the strand around his finger and released it, watching it bounce. “you’re so beautiful,” he whispered, repeating the motion, “every single part of you. i want it all.” his hand moved up to cup her face and tilt it up towards his. he closed the distance between them until they were barely separated by an inch. his eyes fell to her lips. “please, be mine,” he exhaled, his eyes fluttering closed.
she leaned in, her lips meeting his in a kiss.
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river13245 · 5 months
Text
The Last time (Tony Stark x Reader)
Angst, no happy ending
Warning: Alcohol and Tony being an ass kinda
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This was not part of the plan, nor the agenda for the night. You hadnt planned on going out and getting drunk. However when Thor and Natasha both came up to you telling you that you should go with them to the bar, you couldn't just say no.
What you didn't expect was Natasha to participate in a drinking game with Thor. The both of them had a much higher tolerance than you, since Natasha drinks more than you do. Then with Thor being an actual god his tolerance is so high that you think he will drink up the whole supply. But when they started asking you to join the game and taunting who were you to say no. If you were anything...its competitive.
Thor and Natasha both had a higher tolerance than you since you didn't drink much. It also doesn't help that Thor was a literal god and Natasha drank at every party Tony threw..which was quite often.
So after an hour or two you were drunk while they were only tipsy.
Even in your drunk state you knew this was a bad idea but before you could stop what you were doing you had knocked on Tony's front door. Tony and you had an off and on relationship. The problem was he couldn't ever just commit to you.
Before you could turn to leave, the door opened and their stood tony wiping off his hands with a wrag and wearing his sweatpants and a tank top. He then looks at you "y/n"
"Tony" you said softly, Your eyes were red and wer leaning against the doorframe. "are you drunk" he asks and you shake your head but instantly regret it
He sighs "I thought we both said that we wouldnt see each other anymore." You steady yourself against the door and cross your arms glaring at him. "Yes I know that you said that..i just..I know this is a bad idea but can you please just hold me for a minute."
He nods and wraps his arms around your waist pulling you close to him. Your face rests against his neck and arms wrap around his torso. This is all you have ever wanted, all you have ever wanted was him.
You were getting lost into the moment that when he pulled away you had to force yourself not to frown. He pulls his phone out "im calling you a cab so you get home safe" you nod
Once you got home you climbed into bed and thought about all the times you would go back to each other. You always knew it would end the same way but it was like routine. It wasn't ideal but you get used to it after a while
-----
A month or so goes by and you had promised yourself you wouldn't go back to Tony. You had been able to keep things professional between the both of you. Everything seemed to be going fine until one night you heard a knock on your door.
You were in your pajamas watching a Disney movie when you heard the knock. The only people who ever came to your place was Natasha or Thor so when you opened the door you didn't expect to see Tony.
Especially the state he was in. Tony looked as if he had been crying, his hair was a mess and you could smell the alcohol he had been drinking. "Tony" you said in a soft voice not wanting to speak to loudly.
He placed his hands on your upper arms and looks at you "y/n I am so sorry for the way our relationship is. You mean the world to me and I don't know why I cant change for you. But I want to, I really do."
As he speaks you smell the alcohol and you know this isn't really him talking. This is how it always goes, you let him into your heart over and over again just to watch him go again. It never gets easier. He never sees the way you ache for him to love you for longer than a few days before he leaves again.
Placing my hands on the sides of your face I kiss your cheek and I repeat the words I always tell him. "its always been you Tony, I wish you would see that"
He looks at me and nods but I say something else. Something new that I haven't said before. "this is the last time I let you through my door" He kisses my lips before pulling away "this is the last time, I wont hurt you anymore."
You knew how this was going to end. But you figured why not one more time. A little love now is better than none at all right?
-----
How wrong you were, you had told yourself you wouldn't let it hurt you. Not anymore but when you woke one morning to find Tony packing his bag and grabbing his keys it still hurt just like all those times before. "Tony"
He freezes before turning to look at you. "y/n". Looking at him as tears fill your eyes you nod "There's someone else isn't there?" Tony refuses to look at you for a moment and that's all the confirmation you needed.
"I'm tired of asking to be the one you want. When time and time again you leave and break my heart in a blink of an eye" The hurt in your voice is very noticeable and he walks closer to you and says "I wont hurt you anymore" before placing a kiss to your cheek and walks out of the house. Leaving you behind for the last time.
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jackiequick · 20 days
Text
That’s Would Be Enough | Marvel Fanfic 🖋
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Summary: Elizabeth wants to be the best inventor and aunt. She’s overworked herself late into the night, but what she needs a break. And to be reminded that she is enough. And who other to do it than her own favorite blonde, aside from Captain America.
Pairing: Jason Grey Underwood & Elizabeth Stark
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe—> Agent Carter, Iron Man 1-2, The Avengers
Marvel timeline: Pre/During—Avengers 2012 (Phase 1)
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Characters mentioned: Tony Stark, The Young Avengers, Howard Stark and Jarvis
Song inspired fic: That Would Be Enough from Hamilton
A/N: I know it’s a simple fic but I was listening to this song and just had to write it.
Ship Name: JALIZZY
Sidenote: Jason’s nickname is JJ meanwhile Elizabeth is Liz
Click here to see the latest fanfic featuring this family
——
It’s been a few short weeks, Stark Tower was running high and low with noise.
New York City lights in contacts to the skyline views that the home brought to the world. Voices from the young heroes were softly heard. You could hear Liane and her friends screaming over the sound of the tv wired up in the living room and the hallways were being used as a reminder of how huge the building truly was.
But underneath the main lounge floor, past the elevator doors and across the narrow halls stood the tapping of nails against a keyboard humming a soft tune, that was played earlier from the afternoon radio. Files surrounding her desk as she spun in the chair for a while, as it reminded her of older memories at The Mansion’s lab.
The laughs and the louder bickering over bullshit that didn’t matter but it did at the time. Trinkets and posters surrounded the lab back then, it still does now but as many as Stark Tower.
She missed it, weather she liked to admit it or not.
And she wasn’t the only one.
Her thoughts were interrupted by a soft knocking that belonged to a tall blonde with fluffy hair, sweatpants and a baby blue t-shirt, carrying two mugs of warm hot chocolate. She nodded, inviting him into the room as he took a seat near the empty chair, gently placing the mug into her palms as she took a peek noticing a few tiny marshmallows.
She hummed as she took a delightful sip of the warm drink.
He noticed she wasn’t upstairs for a while now. Something that never bothered him, he’s used to his creative minds spending longer than expected in the lab tinkering. However having seen what he would assume the worse of it from Tony in 2010, noticing his eyes bloodshot and the lights making his body appear weak, he made it a promise to watch the time to bring whoever was in the lab to bed.
Tonight it was Elizabeth.
She’s a Stark. So he can’t stop her being in a lab to invent something, since that’s one of places she shined. Aside from the stage of course. He have noticed her getting a new scope of the world, having been gone under the ice for a while now. He knew she had her own ways of doing things, as she handled the transition better than expected but it had him worried.
Does she believe that she’s not doing enough?
He has been there himself plenty of times, where he feels useless and annoyed around everyone but he never showed it. Everything phases him, just not exactly his face. With one swift look at her vulnerable face, the tired eyes and gentle smile that could light up the stars, he knew.
He has been around theses people long enough to not know. Especially since JARVIS tend to be the house’s eyes and ears, it all added up to this point and he wasn’t upset about it
Elizabeth’s eyes analyzed his facial expressions, noticing the small bags under his eyes and the way his shoulders dropped ever so slightly. He smiled softly at her, placing the mug of hot chocolate that was in his hand onto the desk. All she wanted was to rest her head on his shoulder and hear his smooth southern drawl as he hummed a old song while she drifted to sleep.
But she wonder, if she left asleep and let herself take a breath, then that would mean her inventions would be unfinished. Her work would’ve not been done and the studies she has been doing lately would have left aside. It was silly to think she was putting all this unnecessary work onto herself when she doesn’t need it but it made her feel like she was doing something.
Then it clicked.
“How long have you know?” She asked, running her fingers crossed the side of the mug
“A month or so.” He replied, playing with the fabric of his sweatpants.
“I never told you.”
“Jarvis told me a less than month ago.”
“No…”
“We all just wanted you home.”
She sighed, “You should have told me.”
“I’m not sorry.” He added, with a honest smile.
He smiled placing a hand on her knee and said, “I knew you’ll work until the idea was done.”
“The idea’s not done.” She replied, placing a hand over his and sighed.
“But you’re tired and deserve a chance to be with our son.”
“He’s Howard’s son, I’m just his overprotective aunt.”
“We both know your more than that to him. You don’t need to prove anything, you said it yourself years ago.”
“I know…um but still my work, my life. I just want to make sure I’m worth all of it and I’m leaving a legacy behind..”
He sighs and smiled, “Just look around and you’ll see the difference you made.”
“We made.” She corrected him with a smile.
The two chuckled soft at that.
Nonetheless, Jason continued, “Look around at how lucky we are, just to be alive right now is a miracle. And that’s saying a lot knowing what we’ve been through.”
“Will you relish being a silly inventor’s spouse?” She added, as it sounded like a question, “Somewhat dependent, not about to provide for our life? It’s stupid I know, we’re in a good place but it feels like the roles are reversed and i don’t know why..I don’t feel as independent yet. I mean, we used to have Jarvis and Ana to help us. Peggy too! And now we’re sorta alone at this..”
“It’s not easy, it never was but we can handle it. And that not true, you’re more than confident and independent. Give it time.”
“How much time? How did you do it? Let’s face it, I’m here now, I have been awaken from the ice for a considerable period of time, but it still feels odd. We both has been working for a long time and sometimes it felt like we can’t breath again because of it. The world is changing a lot more than expected…so do you still relish all of this?”
“Your just tired and a little vulnerable right now, honey. It’s okay, no rush here. But to answer your question, yes, I do. I also relish you someday being my wife. Just look around, look at where you are. Look at where you started..the fact that you’re alive is a miracle. Just stay alive, that would be enough.”
She smiled hearing those words, “Yeah. I guess I am tired…and a little worried, I just want to be the best version I can be.”
“You already you.” He added with a chuckle, “Our child shares a fraction of your smile and dare I say, a fragment of your mind just as much as he does Howard!”
“Oh good god he’s smarter than I thought!”
“And his ego too. I love him but damn, it’s wild.”
“Oh yeah, he’s more than enough to make a difference in the world. We’re safe then.”
They both smiled and laughed harder than expected knowing how many godchildren Tony gave them. So look out world, that would be enough.
He looped a finger underneath her chin, “Look, I don’t pretend to know the challenges you’re facing. The worlds you keep erasing and creating in your mind. Your reading more than i do when it comes to understand everything we can.”
“Mhmm! It’s hard moving from one era to another.” She admits with a light chuckle, “..sometimes I don’t know how we’ve done it for so long and haven’t driven ourselves mad.”
“I know...but I’m not as afraid as I should. I know who I married. So long as we all come home at the end of the day..”
“That would be enough. Uh, about our legacy and the money?”
“Liz.”
“Jason. I’m serious.”
“We already are creating one and we already have money. If I could grant you peace of mind, let us inside your heart…”
Those words shut her up, as her eyes watered a bit understanding everything he meant. That they are supposed to be made of steel but it takes the people you love to make it a strong material.
And truth be told, she told him those same words years ago. It wasn’t as gentle, heartfelt and darling as she said in her own way, but it was a similar format as theses line meant the same thing. She remembers telling him in a charming yet sweet manner.
“Just let us be apart of that narrative, in the story we are watching today.” He continued, with a gentle grin, “Let this be a new chapter where I hope we stay..”
“And I could be more than enough.” She finished for him with a gentle grin, “We could be enough…since that would be enough.”
“Took you long enough to get it.”
“I should’ve known by now, I just need the reminder...I’m sorry for worrying you.”
“It’s alright, you didn’t mean it. Now, can we please go to bed?”
She smiled breathlessly and softly replied, “Yes please!”
He stood up, and walked away to the doorway thinking he was following her. But she wasn’t. He looked over his shoulder to to find her holding out her hands at arms length with a cheeky little smile that resulted him to snicker.
“Carry me?” She asked with a soft chuckle, tiredness laced in her voice.
“You’re so dramatic.” He replied with a similar tone as he walked over and picked her up bridal style.
“Shhhhhh babe, there are people trying to sleep here.”
“Oh my god.”
“Hey.”
“Hm?”
“I think I love you.”
“I know.”
The pair smiled as he carried her to bed, as she nuzzled her face into the crook of his neck. She hummed a few words and cracking a couple of jokes while he rolled his eyes dropping her onto the bed. She swiftly crawled under the warm covers and laying her head on the pillow, smiling at the blonde who treated her well.
Sometimes she wonders how exactly did she deserve such a man? Guess she will never actually get that solid answer.
She reached for his hand, giving it a small squeeze as if to know she was real and not at all in that icey cold apartment she once placed into. He smiled in return and winked, as there was an unspoken feeling of love in the air.
He left her side and stepped over to the doorframe. He looked over his shoulder and whispered, “Night Liz.”
She yawned, about to ask, more like suggest something but choice against it. Save it for another night as she replied, “Night Jason.”
Just as Jason turned off the lights and leading himself towards the hallway, Elizabeth bite the bullet with a soft grin. She decided to go for it and muttered, “Grey?”
She wondered if he heard it but he did. It cause Jason to pause and turn around to face Elizabeth, because it was a rare but somewhat made common sense that he would hear his middle name being used. Not everyone called him that unless necessary and he secretly preferred it being used among certain people.
Usually it was a way to get his attention in an endearing manner, when it came to his plenty of nicknames over the years.
His mind was fighting off a nerve of worry, as he met her eyesight, and hummed, “Yeah?”
“C-can you stay with me tonight? In bed like old times…” She replied almost shyly, pushing away her curls. It was a rare moment for a woman as bold as she might be. Yet, there was gentle tired smile that tugged her lips.
“Y-you sure?”
“I wouldn’t be sure if I didn’t ask, would I?”
“Fair point. Uh, left side of the bed?”
“A-and you on right.”
“You’re positive about this?”
“Mhm, I am. If not, I can always buy a dog to keep me company instead. I heard Sal’s shelter is open this time and hour.”
“Elizabeth.”
“I’m kidding! But not about the dog thing.”
“Liz.”
“Come on, I know you can’t resist waking up the next morning to a nice view.”
“You talking about yourself or the city’s morning skyline?”
“Both. We’re such amazing views, just sayin’.”
With a chuckle and a little eye roll, Jason climbed into bed and nuzzled himself underneath the covers next to her. Elizabeth’s giggles could be softly heard from her own cocky comments from earlier, as she rested against his shoulder blade humming gently.
She pressed a tiny kiss onto his cheek, as her eyes slowly dropped muttering a few words as she did. He wouldn’t admit it but he missed this, as he pressed a light kiss onto the top of head. With a swig of his arm, he reached forward and turned off the lamp that rested on the nightstand as the soft night sky peeked through the windowsill.
~~~
~~~
Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoy the fic
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siconetribal · 9 months
Note
Hey!! I have a request for you!
So I'm thinking you work at shield and have to show Loki and Thor around since they are new. You always crack terrible jokes when you are nervous but Thor finds you hilarious and even Loki admits some of them are fairly clever (high praise coming from him). You realize they've never heard most of the recycled jokes or puns you used and decide to take advantage of that.
Tower Tour for Two
Pairing: None
Warning: Puns, word play, wit, shenanigans, dad jokes, and all around foolery
Summary:
All new personnel to SHIELD need to know where to go from day one. The best way to do that is through a tour. The Asgardian princes were no exception. With no crisis in need of their participation, the two are set up with a guide that keeps them on their toes.
Author Note:
I am so sorry for the delay in answering this request! I wanted it to be absolutely perfect! Furthermore, I do hope you like this, and it lives up to what you were expecting from the shenanigans between a punderful Y/N and the two austere princes of Asgard! Also, I completely made up the floors and numbers based off an image @vbecker10 showed me.
__________________________________________________________
“Tell me again why we are being subjected to this ridiculous obligation of needing some nanny around the compound?” Loki let out an exasperated sigh as he pinched the bridge of his nose. None of this seemed to quite add up to him. Thor has been part of this team for some time now, and they had never thought of something so trivial. However, when they decide to accept me this is suddenly something mandatory? I find that highly suspicious.
“It is because they wish to give us a proper introduction. With all the emergencies that happened and my frequent leaving to Asgard, there was no real time for this to come about. With you being newly accepted, they thought it wise that the two of us go through it together. Better than having to waste time setting up two separate sessions.” Thor chuckled at his fifth repetition. He knew his brother was not forgetful, he was simply trying to find a loophole out of this. “It is a simple tour, Loki. It will be done sooner than you’re making it out to be. It is not like they are giving the grand tour of the Asgardian castle.”
“If this place were remotely as big, I would have done everything in my power to make sure this never came to pass.” Loki scowled. “It is not the size of the facility that concerns me, it is the ridiculous notion that they think we are incapable of learning where to go.”
“Ah, but they are taking efficiency into consideration. The time it takes for us to learn our way around will be drastically cut if we are given this tour. Which will increase the overall efficiency of how SHIELD and the Avengers will run. Precious time needed for missions and planning would not be lost on someone unsure of where to find the proper meeting room or attend some training session. You, above all else, know how important it is to be efficient.” The God of Thunder smiled at his brother, clapping a firm hand against his back. “You will see, this will be highly useful. The fact that they even are allowing you to know where everything is a huge sign of their trust as well! If they did not trust you, they would not take the time to teach you where everything is.”
That or they want to make sure I know where everything is. So that if I were to ever use the reasoning of being lost, they can remind me of this dreadful waste of time and accuse me of something sinister. The God of Mischief kept his skepticism to himself, not wanting to dampen his brother’s mood. Though, he did wonder if there was something that could do such a thing. The thought of his feigned deaths suddenly came to mind, but he quickly pushed them aside.
“Well hello, hello!” A chipper voice greeted the two Asgardian princes from behind, the two towering royals turning to see a singular female SHIELD employee who was clearly far too excited to be here. The sunny disposition seemed almost illegal compared to the rigid and professional demeanor that were standard with all other SHIELD personnel. Perhaps this person was lost and was actually an experiment on happiness? Thor looked towards Loki with a raised brow, who raised both of his in response and shrugged, removing the burden of possibly knowing anything about this odd human. He was just as clueless, if not more so for actually being new, than his elder brother.
“Don’t everyone all talk at once now! Sheesh, have you never been greeted before? Talk about needing a lesson in manners.” She frowned.
“Pardon our rudeness, but are we acquainted?” Thor took the lead after another lengthy pause.
“Ah, the lord doth speaketh!” She gasped, the corner of Loki’s lip twitching as Thor slightly lowered his head as a sign of apologies. “We weren’t formally introduced, but you were both instructed to come here for the tour of the tower with me.”
“So you are Y/N?” Loki questioned, his intense gaze carefully observing to see if this was some sort of trap or test. 
“Well, last I checked it was.” She glanced down at her name tag that was hung from the lanyard around her neck, a variety of novelty pins decorating the fabric. “Yup, still is.” He scowled at her attitude. “Do not worry, I understand, I am used to rendering people speechless.” She boasted with pride.
“Is that so,” Loki felt the prick of unease at the back of his mind.
“Yes, we have heard you are quite the guide.” Thor elbowed his brother at the look of mistrust that was on his face. “Rogers and the others have had nothing but positive things to say about you. However, we have jumped ahead without proper introductions. My name,” he tried to correct their rude beginning but stopped at her raised hand.
“No need, there’s nothing Loki about either of you, aside from his name anyway. I made sure to do a Thor-ough look into whom I would be guiding this morning.” As she grinned, Loki grimaced. That feeling of unease was not to be ignored.
“Clever,” the elder prince laughed at her wordplay. “Very well, by your lead, then.”
“Thank you,” she gave a small bow before stretching her arms out wide. “Foyer information, this is the foyer. To our left, through those double doors, is where SHIELD holds most, if not all, press hearings. Sadly, there’s no let-go room. I keep telling them we need it, how else is there going to be a release? Makes you think, what good is a hearing when they aren’t even listening.” She sighed.
“So that is why they are called as such? I always wondered why. They really should invest in such things, to hold on for too long is never healthy.” Thor nodded his head in agreement, while Loki felt his left eyebrow twitch. That feeling of unease had grown. Was it too late to turn back now? He eyed the front door behind them, measuring the distance and how long it would take him if he made a run for it.
“Aside from that room, there isn’t much else aside from the desk. The decor isn’t the greatest, but the reception is phenomenal.” She pointed to the reception desk as she walked towards the elevators. “Come along, we’ve gotta head to the next floor. Don’t mind the elevators, they have their ups and downs. I think we caught them in a good mood today.”
Dammit, I should’ve sent an image of myself. Loki clicked his tongue before straightening his back and turning to join the two. Thor was wrong, this was going to be a very long day. A tour of the castle would have been shorter.  He feared for his sanity as they stepped out onto the second floor
“It’s pretty quiet right now, but it’s usually pretty busy. The second floor, here, up until the fifth floor, are all human relations. Though sometimes it can be a bit alien at times, they’re all definitely human and are pretty relatable for the most part. Though I don’t recommend them for any dating advice, they like to keep it professional.”
“As they should,” Thor once again agreed, and Loki’s eye began to twitch.
“And right you are, thunder boy!” She grinned, turning them back to the elevator as skipping straight to the sixth floor. Stepping out, this floor looked almost identical to the second one. The two looked around curiously for any differences before shifting their attention to Y/N who stepped forward and turned to face them. “So, as you can see, we’re all pretty square here with all these cubicles. Sixth floor to the tenth floor is where you’ll find the work stations of the agents and the offices for higher ranking staff. The agents are great and all, but some of these big wigs are walking economy lessons.”
“What do you mean?” The elder Asgardian asked before the younger could stop him. She was leading them in more ways than one, and he was not enjoying either direction.
“Well, you didn’t hear it from me, but their hairline is in a recession, their stomachs are always inflated like their egos, and the two together leaves everyone in a great depression.” She whispered, and Loki actually smirked. Perhaps she had some things of value to say. “I can’t really let you into anything here, private stuff and all that, so up we go!” She motioned them back to the elevators, where they went straight to the eleventh floor. “Alright, so here you might find things to be a little dull…because here until the twenty-first floor is none other than the boardrooms!”
I take back what I said, it was a rare moment of entertainment. Loki sighed as they followed her down a few halls, and she opened one of the doors.
“This is one of the larger ones, but each room is equipped with state-of-the-art technology. Holograms, interactive models, surround sound, and HD screenings! Sadly, the seating isn’t the best and only reclines so much. But other than that, you’ve got one fancy theater experience every time.” She grinned, Thor taking a seat in one of the chairs.
“They are quite nice though. But why are the tables bolted down?”
“So they can be well grounded.” She answered far too quickly, and Loki shook his head. “In all seriousness, it’s to avoid trouble. Tables are normally supposed to be movable furniture, but after the last few issues here with explosions and infighting, it was deemed safer to have them bolted to avoid anyone possibly getting hit by them. The chairs do move around, but when you tuck them in under the table, the arms magnetize to the table with a force that is fairly difficult to break if the room is not unlocked properly. If you noticed, when we entered I lingered at the entryway, that’s because I needed to let the room know it was in use, so the table would release the chairs.” She walked back towards the door and motioned for Thor to stand. He did as told, and she punched in a code where the lights shut off and the chair chairs all jerked up and a series of clicks were heard. “Now the room is set to lock when we leave.” She pushed the door open wider, Loki having noticed that she had cracked it open prior to punching in the code. “The other meeting room floors are similar to this one. The designs may be different from floor to floor in the sense that some have round tables while others have rectangular and possibly minor changes in screen size, but overall they are the same.”
“Things are quite secure here.” Loki noted aloud, curiosity about this strange SHIELD employee starting to grow in the back of his mind.
“I would hope so, they’re supposed to be the guardians of Earth. They’d be nothing but insecurities otherwise.”
“Well said, Y/N. You are quick-witted with your words, just like Hawkeye and Black Widow mentioned.” Thor praised her.
“Don’t encourage her,” Loki hissed at him as they got back onto the elevator. It was obvious he was clearly taken by her little tricks.
“Come now, brother, there is nothing wrong with giving due praise to a job well done. Perhaps if you were more forthcoming with your compliments as you are with your snide remarks, you would not be seen as such a cruel person, and they would finally see the brother I adore.” He implored, earning yet another scoffing eye roll. Y/N watched the two silently, pressing the button for the twenty-second floor. It was painfully obvious that Thor adored Loki openly, while Loki was more reticent in his affections.
The tale of the two mythological deities was known far and wide since their first arrival, and even more so since the infamous incident in New York. Much like the majority of Earthlings, she initially hated the younger prince for all the harm he had caused. The damage, despair, and devastation he wrought on them was nothing small and unforgivable. She never wanted to be left so powerless ever again, incapable of helping anyone. Thus, she embarked on climbing her way and successfully joining SHIELD. She was not able to work on the field as an agent, but she managed to secure a rather unique position where only a few were capable of managing. It was through this training and top level clearance that she became aware of many things, like the Mind Stone and how it perverted and polluted Loki’s insecurities and anguish. None of it justified his actions, but he became someone understandable. They were less out of reach, more relatable. They two were living and breathing with emotions like anyone else, not something above them. 
I know they’re stronger than the average human, but they’re brothers like any other. Bickering siblings with opposite dispositions that adore one another. She smiled to herself as she stepped out before them. “Alright. From here up to the thirtieth floor is where the fun starts. You could say Stark was raving mad when he funded so much of the things here, but he’s lab hatter. All the tech and research goes on here. It’s a little sad that physicists and biologists don’t get along so well.” She let out a heavy sigh, Thor and Loki around before settling their eyes on here.
“And why is that? Trouble in paradise?” The second prince raised a well manicured brow. Y/N could only imagine the two were into grooming routines, and they were professionally done, otherwise it was cruel to every average woman out there just how perfect these two were.
“You could say that they lack chemistry.” She smirked at the slight scowl she earned from him. He had made such a big deal about feeding into her little games and walked right into one himself. He could see the shine of victory in her eyes, and he had to admit, it was well played. Not only that, but he would never admit to it aloud, of course.
“And what would be the importance of chemistry?” Thor wondered, not sure how that played between the two types of scientists.
“Well, it has all the solutions, and It is fairly good at bonding.” She added matter-of-factory, Thor nodding his head in agreement. “Yes, Jane and Dr. Erik did have trouble relating with others from time to time, perhaps chemistry was lacking.”
“No comet on astrophysicists,” she snickered as they walked through the halls and peered in through the windows. “All the glass here is highly reinforced,” she lightly knocked on one as they stopped at a random door. “I can’t let you in due to the nature of what’s inside and any experiments that may currently be in progress, but you can take a swing at the glass to test it out. Stark has made sure to improve after learning from any prior mistakes to minimize casualties. It’s Avenger and danger proof.”
“If Stark is involved, then there is no doubt that he has extensively worked on it for it to be so.” Thor proudly spoke of his companion, Loki curiously observing the window. He stepped closer, tapping on the glass and listening to the vibrations. It was a rather dull sound. It was a very dense and thick sheet.
The metal midgardian certainly enjoys his little trinkets and toys. I could simply use my magic to conjure myself into the room, however. What good is this resilience, then? He smirked, feeling that he may have bested the genius playboy philanthropist.
“You could try,” Y/N’s voice broke through his thoughts. “But that’s at your own risk. Like the other rooms here, you need to engage the room prior to entering, and these rooms are only allowed entry through specific key cards. If anyone were to find a way without this channel, they would have to deal with the security that would automatically be triggered. So, unless you have dreams of being Swiss cheese, I would disa-brie on any attempts of just appearing inside. Come along, up we go!” She turned on her heel and led them back up to their rectangular chariot. “Any questions so far? Comments, concerns, suggestions are all welcomed.”
“Nothing,” Thor shook his head.  “You are going excellently and answer any of the questions before we even have time to even think of them. I can see why they praise you so highly among the other members.” He gave her a broad grin, and she smiled in kind.
“Well, I’m glad you’re enjoying it. This ain’t the most exciting thing you could be doing, believe me, I get it. So, I try to keep it short, sweet, and fun.”
“Fun for whom?” Loki muttered.
“Myself, I’m the one guiding you after all. Gotta help myself get through this just as much as you do.” She gave him a wink and laughed as he scowled. It was obvious they were both enjoying this for various reasons, so she chose not to tell him, she could tell this scowl was more forced than the others so far.
“Now, here are the floors that are worth the weight, the next five floors are about two floors each in height, they’re the gyms and rec rooms. From battle simulations in the VR to real word pumping iron, there is no bar too high in this place…well for you anyway.” She looked up at Thor and Loki. “For me, there are quite a few out of my reach. I won’t go into too much detail here, you’ll be scheduled for a fitness and analysis exam, so they’ll run you through the various simulations and fancy gizmos and gadgets then.” There was obvious excitement and interest in both the brothers' eyes, and she could not help the small snicker that came out as she led them up to the thirty-sixth floor. “We’ll keep it short here, mission briefs and observations happen on deck here. And you can look out the windows and observe a lovely view of the compound and city as well while you’re at it. This is one very wide floor.” She explained as they went to the far end where there was a lovely view of the city before heading up to the next floor.
“This is the not so common choice of a common area. Usually these types of floors are near the ground floor if not the ground floor itself. But, what’s common about superheroes and aliens as a whole?” She shrugged. “Here is where you’ll be able to relax between missions and training or simply don’t want to be in your room. The best part of this floor is actually over here.’ She grinned, a little speed in her steps as she led them to two rather ornate double doors. “This is a place you can always check out,” she slid her key through the reader and turned the knobs. Pushing the two doors open with great flourish to reveal a very grand library with a glass dome like ceiling, stairs leading to the four floors above and one below. “This is a place where I can't help my shelf and spend hours. But personal interest aside, you can bring beverages into the library, you just can't pour milk over the serials here. They’ve got all sorts of books here now that we know some myths are not so fictitious.” She pointedly looked at the two of them. “I know it’s pretty booked, but you can always leaf through as needed.
“And why would they have such a place at SHIELD?” Loki asked, taking a step forward, followed by another, and several more until he was in front of a shelf and pulling one of the leather-bound pages from it.
“Knowledge is key, and sometimes the old-fashioned way is the best way or only way. Like I said, things of lore are no more and not everything is metadata. Also, this is part of the floors where one can simply step out of the digital world and unwind. Can you imagine what the public would do if one of the eligible bachelors or bachelorettes of the Avengers was seen in the public library? We’d have mobs of paparazzi and feral fans trying to get their chance to be seen with them. There’d be no peace and quiet. Having our own mini library was the best solution. It does not have everything, but it helps minimize the need to go out and be seen frequenting a location. Villains and mosey people alike won’t set their sights on a place where the public is free to come and go.”
Thor walked over to his brother, pulling out another book and quickly skimmed through it. He was not as avid of a reader as his brother, but he knew and respected the importance of knowledge. This place would be very useful to the two who were not as technologically savvy as the Midgardians. Y/N watched as Loki slowly read the first few pages of the book he chose, while Thor skimmed through several books. He did linger on a few, looking at the title twice before returning it to its spot.
“Reading time will have to be another time. Once you get your key card, you have free access to the books here, and you can check them out with the librarians as needed. Come along, only a few more floors to go.” She promised, Thor grabbed Loki by the back of his jacket and forcibly dragged him a few steps before he replaced the book and reluctantly followed them out back to the elevators. 
The brothers watched as she slid her card into a slot next to two rows of buttons and selected the number eight button in the second row of the two rows labeled as LQ. “This is where only certain personnel can enter. You both, other avengers, and some agents will be living here on the compound. As you can see, there are not that many floors, but each floor is similar to the gym and rec room floors in that each floor is two floors in height from eight to fourteen. The reason being is that eight upwards is where you and any other members of the Avengers will have a penthouse style apartment. Each is designed and decorated according to the specifications or desires of the occupant. No two rooms are going to be alike in details, but the basic blueprint will be the same for safety exits and code regulations. Floors one to four is where the agents that live here, guests, important visitors, and some time overtime employees will be residing. Floors five to seven is where their dining and entertainment will be. There is a mini theater, a large dining room kitchen with staff, and a mini library for them to spend their time. Their key cards will not allow them into your floor, but you will be allowed on their floors if you so wish. “ 
The doors of the elevator opened up to reveal a rather large hallway with only a few doors on either side. Floors eight to twelve will resemble this. As you can see, none of the doors look the same and have been customized to the comfort of the resident who stays in that space while here. The two of you will have your own apartments on the twelfth floor. On the thirteenth and fourteenth floor you will find similar amenities; a large state-of-the-art kitchen, fully staffed on request; a large dining area, personal theater, recreational activities such a bowling alley, billiards, and a private bar that has its own balcony facing the city. The last floor, the HQ floor, is where the leaders of SHIELD convene for their meetings and have their offices. I cannot allow you entry on that floor, so I will be leading you back down to the ground floor from here. And that is there is to say about this tower. Though we do have everything indoors, there are still many outside facilities on the grounds for certain activities. For example, large scale training or ability practice will take place in one of the various hangars and fields that are readily equipped and shielded from causing too much disruption in the building. Sometimes you may be flown out to more discrete locations to avoid unwanted attention as well.”
“They really have thought of everything.” Loki finally admitted to being somewhat impressed, mostly for the library. He and Thor silently mulled over all the information that was given to them. It was certainly a lot, and it became clear as to why they were put through the task. It was needed information, but also a warning that they would always be watched. Not just them as outsiders, but the Avengers as a whole were to be watched because they were a collective of beings that could single-handedly cause more trouble than any large scale militant group.
“Yes, they have, and that’s it for this personal tour. I do hope you enjoy your stay here at SHIELD. I wish you the best of luck always and success in your missions moving forward. Thank you for your time, enjoy the rest of your day.” She led them to the front doors and stepped out into the crisp air, the sun still in the sky. There was one fact that had consistently nagged at the back of their minds. A question they intended to ask, and yet never thought or had the chance to. Loki looked to Thor, who silently nodded his head.
“Y/N, what exactly is your position here at SHIELD?” She had access to every floor, detailed information, and knew where to say what and when. Only someone of high level clearance and trust would be privy to such, and she purposefully and expertly avoided the topic with thought-provoking information and clever words of misdirection. However, now was their chance. The two turned to face her. They would get their answers, but she was no longer there. In fact, there was no sign of her anywhere. Who exactly was Y/N.  It was clear now, this was only the beginning for the two of them at the mysterious organization known as SHIELD.
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rissararity · 25 days
Text
The Lockpick - (Bucky/oc)
By RissaRarity
(Omegaverse, fingering, mild sexual content)
Summary: Bucky and the most aggressive omega Avenger Aela get stuck in a trap. To escape and get a signal for rescue, they need to pick a lock that the lockpick can't get into. so they need to use a natural lubricant to get out. Luckily, as an Alpha/Omega partnership, they are uniquely qualified to find a supply of lubricant to get the job done.
One shot.
1595 words
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"That went well." She hissed as she and Bucky fell into the little trap door. "Just had to insist on sticking together, huh?"
Aela looked up at the metal hole they now stood in. Luckily there were no spikes or anything, hell it might have been intended for storage. It was a long, narrow box that forced them to stand close enough to touch constantly - something she despised.
He's let her go first so she was stuck in front of him with her back to his front, the hole was about ten feet deep and neither had a hope of climbing out. They'd have to wait for a rescue party and a rope.
So there they stood.
"I didn't expect any traps to still be live. This base has been abandoned for fifty years!" his voice echoed.
She growled in annoyance and took a deep breath to calm herself. "Maybe I can climb out and get a signal." She looked at the little computer on her wrist to see she had zero chance of radioing for rescue.
"How are gonna do that, short stuff?"
The blonde, 5'2 woman sighed and awkwardly turned around to face him, making him press against the wall a little.
"I'm gonna climb you like a tree, Buck."
He blushed, "Y-you what?!"
"Well, you can't reach, and obviously neither can I. But if you can get me up there I might be able to contact Steve."
He blinked down at her a couple of times before nodding. "Good point. Can you get around me to my back?"
After some awkward shuffling and accidental rubbing they gave up.
"That's a no."
"Now what?" he asked, looking up.
After a moment she bit her lip as she followed his gaze. "Now we have to decide if we want to get real close or die in a hole."
His head dropped to meet her eyes quickly, a questioning look on his face.
For the first time ever, he saw her blush.
"I can't get around to your back...but I can still climb."
It took him a moment but he blushed too when he realized what she was implying.
"Better than dying in a hole."
"Agreed. So...uh..." she looked down at his chest for a moment before getting on her toes and putting her hands on his shoulders.
Bucky looked her in the eye for a moment before he touched her at all - everyone knows The Lioness liked her space -especially from Alphas.
"Better than dying in a hole." She reaffirmed.
He gave a short nod and grasped her dainty waist, lifting her with ease and helping her wrap her legs around his trunk. "I can lift you a little higher but I need to-" cheeks on fire, she cut him off, "Let's just assume all touching is better than dying in a hole. I appreciate your concern but...kind of high steaks right now."
"Got it."
Still, she gasped a little when his arms shifted to support her butt and he did, in fact, lift her higher up his body. They managed to get her straddling his shoulder, Bucky trying desperately to ignore the scent right beside his face as her Omega hormones reacted unexpectedly.
Painfully aware of how her body was reacting to his touch and proximity, she tugged at his hair a little to get him to look up at her face- unintentionally turning him on a little. "If you ever tell anyone you got to scent my Omega pheromones I will end you." She glared.
He smirked a little, "Understood."
Aela reached up to touch the rim of the hole, accidently touching the button on the floor that made a sheet of metal close again, she yelped and pulled her hands back.
He looked up, for a moment enjoying the view of her from underneath before his blue eyes settled on the now ceiling.
"Did you just-" "Shut up." She face palmed.
They were quiet for a long moment.
"I think I can pick this." She said, inspecting the lock mechanism on the wall near the edge. She fiddled with her utility belt and pulled put some tools.
After some tinkering she got annoyed, "Old lock super stiff. I can't get the pick to go in far enough" she grunted a little as she pushed but got no where.
"What do you need?"
That was something she liked about working with Bucky. He was always open to suggestions, advice and ready to help with her plans.
"I need lube."
He wasn't expecting that. "I don't exactly carry around KY jelly in my vest."
She slammed her forehead against the cold metal wall. "Fucking kill me now." The blonde muttered. "I have an idea and we've got to keep this between us, Barnes I swear to God."
"Scouts honor."
That was something Bucky liked about working with Aela. She was clever, resourceful and creative with her solutions.
She sighed, "Get me back around your torso."
He grunted and maneuvered the tiny woman to do so, supporting her butt to keep her away from the errection he'd been unable to keep back after being so close to her...personal area for so long -feeling the heat of it near his face and unintentionally getting omega hormones shoved at him.
She grabbed his jaw. "This is gonna get weird but we're talking survival here, got it?"
He nodded, confusion in his eyes.
"We have to use...nature's lube."
He furrowed his brows. "Spit?"
She groaned and shook her head, "No, that's too liquidy and not slippy enough. Can you think of something else that's viscous and slippery that one of us might have? Come on, Buck you're an alpha. Shouldn't you have been thinking about this in secret for at least ten minutes now?"
He blushed, "Would you be mad if I said I was and it's been twenty minutes?"
She looked taken off guard, hands clenching around the back of his neck for a moment. "I guess not...in this situation."
The scent intensified, exposing her for being flattered.
"What do you need me to do?" he asked, still blushing.
"What's the one thing that is the biggest no-no with me?"
He answered immediately, "No touching your neck."
She nodded, "Well, Bucky...I need you to touch my neck."
The man made an amused face but nodded, "How?"
Aela shyly looked around at the metal walls, "Like...at all."
He chuckled, "That's why you put Loki in a headlock when he poked your neck? Even your gear, casual clothes...you don't even wear necklaces because...?"
She grumbled in response.
His torso shook as he laughed again, "Well, I'm honored to be the first person to be given permission to touch your neck, Sugar."
"Fuck off, Barnes."
He gave another chuckle and shifted to support her with his vibranium arm and unzip her tactical vest, pushing it down to her arms to bare her neck.
Bucky lifted leaned down a little and nuzzled into her throat, breathing shaking a little against her skin as her head lulled to the side and she shivered. He scented her deeply, scruff on his face scratching her a little as his lips pressed firmly against her.
She whimpered, legs tightening around him as his kisses wandered up behind her ear, "F-fuck." She panted as he nibbled at her skin there.
Her hands flew up to cradle the back of his head and encourage him as if the flooding of her scent of arousal in the enclosed space wasn't enough.
"Mmm you smell so good." He said into her ear, making her shutter, "You smell like a good little omega. Pheromones are perfect."
She let herself inwardly preen at his words, letting down the alpha walls she'd been forced to build to let herself submit for once.
Bucky used his flesh hand to tilt her head to the other side, surprised when she held his hand low on her throat and made him squeeze.
He kept the pressure she set and began to assault the other side of her neck, nipping more with his teeth as his own alpha pheromones made the needy omega almost dizzy.
Aela groaned when he pushed her back against the cool steel wall. He dragged his nose up her neck to behind her ear where he pressed more kisses there, earning a purr only an Omega could give that went straight to his dick.
The warmth between her legs was intensified by her still having her legs wrapped around him, making her rub against him a bit during this.
Soon, she pushed him away weakly and he let her.
"E-enough. That's gotta be enough. W-we need to stop..." she panted, looking at him through lidded eyes.
Immediately, he agreed and gulped, helping her back up to his shoulder. He kept a tight grip on himself while he did this, holding his breath while she returned to the lock, shyly sliding her fingers into her pants to gather the slick she used to lube her lockpicking tools- her body jolted a little as her fingers came into contact, a small whine came from her throat, face crumbling for a moment.
His chest rumbled in response before he could stop it, "...sorry..." he grunted.
"Not a word to anyone, Buck." She growled afterward, slightly teary with embarrassment as the tools easily slid into the mechanisim- soon making it click and the hatch opening again.
After sliding her lockpick back into her belt, she reached up again and was able to climb out- getting out a -somewhat redacted- report and evac request.
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endlesstwanted · 27 days
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Out Of Control, Everything Happens So Fast
Fic written for @ironstrangebingo prompt — Hands, @fluffbruary — engagement & @sweetspicybingo — Marry me.
Fandom: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Rating: General Audiences
Pairing: Tony Stark/Stephen Strange
Tags: Lazy Mornings, Marriage Proposal, Cuddling & Snuggling
Summary: Tony wakes up engaged for the first time.
Wordcount: 379
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Excerpt:
Tony woke up, and the only thing he could focus on was the golden ring wrapping his fourth finger.
It wasn’t for its colour or its shine, since the room was sunk in darkness sheltered from the first lights of dawn at the other side of their penthouse’s windows. He just felt its weight, and closed his fist to open it again, finding out that it was still there.
It hadn’t all been a dream he had not totally woken up from. It would have been one hell of a dream, anyway.
Continue reading on Ao3!
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selcouthialt · 5 days
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SEA, SWALLOW ME | masterlist
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– playlist
– characters
– chapters
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This is not my main blog so I cannot respond to comments, unfortunately! (@selcouthial is my main.)
Set in The Avengers (2012)
Divider by @cafekitsune
No Y/N mentioned. The main character is one of my OC's. If you don't like, don't read!
She/Her pronouns for OC. I pictured her as Lana Del Rey whilst writing and I have that as her official faceclaim but you can always change that when reading!
Very self-indulgent and most likely will not be proofread.
If you have an idea for a filler chapter or scene then please put it in my request box. I'll credit you in the chapter aswell!
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writingfanficsfan · 1 month
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Summary:
“Tony.” “Tony. Wake up.” “Wake up, Tony. Wake up!” Tony gasps, clutching at his chest when he bolts up from the sofa, almost falling off of it and down on the ground. A pair of warm hands prevents it, the grip firm but gentle. Tony pants, his chest hurting, throat closed off and it feels like he’s dying. “Tony? Tony, look at me. You’ve having a panic attack, I need you to open your eyes and look at me!”
I watched The Avengers recently while I had the flu. It inspired me to write something.
@27dragons
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𝒜 𝒩𝐸𝒲 𝐿𝐼𝐹𝐸
𝑵𝒐𝒘 𝒍𝒐𝒂𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈...
SUMMARY: You just moved to New York City after you’ve been offered a somehwat peculiar job. Finally, you feel that this is the right occasion to change your life and move on, but soon you will realize that your ghosts of the past never really disappeared as you thought. 
PAIRINGS: The Avengers x F!reader - Bucky Barnes x F!Reader - Matt Murdock x F! Reader 
WORD COUNT: 1000
WARNINGS: just some cursing...for now👀 (yes bestie, I’m writing this mainly for you; don't worry, you'll see some smut in the future *wink wink*)
𝑷𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒊𝒕...
AUTHOR’S NOTE: hi guys! So, to make it short, this is my first time writing something like this, and I literally wrote the story while listening to Lana Del Rey and the Euphoria soundtrack, lmao. I apologize in advance if while reading you’ll find some mistakes, unfortunately English is not my first language, but I’ll still do my best to write this as clear and comprehensible as possible. i know it’s very short, but first I wanted to have a feedback from someone before really putting myself into it. I just hope you’ll like it and...let me know what you think. Enjoy! 
CHAPTER 2 HERE!
𝑫𝑶𝑾𝑵𝑳𝑶𝑨𝑫 𝑪𝑶𝑴𝑷𝑳𝑬𝑻𝑬! 100%
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You didn’t sleep that night. Of course you didn’t. How could you? You were too excited - and to be honest also a bit scared - to meet your new colleagues the next day to even TRY to sleep. After all, you’ve always admired them: The Avengers.
Exactly. The Avengers. The team of superheroes where a Russian spy, a Germanic god, a man with anger issues, Robin Hood, a man with a flying armor, the most patriotic thing you’ve ever seen, and their friends, were protecting the world from any danger. You couldn’t understand how Tony Stark, the Iron Man himself, noticed and picked YOU to become a new member of the group, but obviously you would have never been against all of that. On the contrary, you had hoped for a quite long time to be seen from at least one of the members, but you still were too confused to figure out how he discovered you. 
4.00 AM
You raised your head to look at the bright red time that your alarm clock was projecting onto the ceiling.
‘‘Fffuuuuck’’ you yelled exasperated into the pillow. You perfectly knew how big and dark your eye bags would have been for the rest of the day, but for as much as you tried, you simply couldn’t sleep. ‘‘Ok, screw it. I give up’’. With all the energy you had in your body, you jumped up from the double bed. You put your phone on charge - since you used it all night ‘‘to try to sleep’’ - took a bunch of beauty products such as body lotion, and some face masks, you undressed, and entered the shower. At that moment, you just wanted to take care of yourself, something you hadn’t done in months, after what happened.
‘‘Y/n?’’
‘‘Y/n, is that you?’’
‘‘Y/n!’’
You immediately opened your eyes, finding yourself sitting in the shower, shivering and breathing as if you had been forced to hold your breath for your entire life. You sighed. ‘‘It was a dream...just...a fucking dream’’. The water flowing over your tense body and its temperature relaxed you; it made you feel pampered as if wrapped in a warm hug, and you fell asleep for about fifteen or twenty minutes.
You showered as fast as possible. The silence of the night and the sound of the water echoing in that small room were killing you. That damned feeling reminded you of him... Out of the tub, you looked at yourself in the mirror. You tried to hold your breath to avoid crying, but it was stronger than you expected, and finally, you broke out.
‘‘I’m sorry...’’ you said sobbing and crouching in front of the sink. Hot tears running down your cheeks and falling to the floor.
‘‘I am so sorry...’’ 
After what you thought would have been an eternity spent crying, you washed your face. For some strange reason, you loved the feeling of hot - almost boiling - water on your face. You looked once again at yourself in the mirror and smiled. You realized you were finally ready to move on. You knew you were finally ready to start a new life.
7.00 AM
You were trembling, sitting on the couch waiting. You didn’t know exactly what you were waiting for, but you were there. First, looking at your phone; then at the door; then out the window and your phone again. You almost had a heart attack when you heard the ringtone. You panicked. ‘‘SHIT- oh my god, oh my god, OH MY GOD!’’ Running towards the table you picked up the phone and answered the call.
‘‘Y-yes?’’
‘‘Good morning kiddo! Already awake?’’
‘‘Uuhm...who- who is this?’’
‘‘Oh c’mon! You’re telling me you never saved my number?’’
‘‘You never gave her your number Tony..’’ continued a feminine voice.
‘‘Hm, you’re right...WELL, it doesn’t matter. Let’s start again. Hi kiddo, I’m the genius, billionaire, playboy, and philanthropist Tony Stark, also known as Iron Man. Do you remember?’’ Fuck. It was him.
‘‘Oh crap- y-yeah! Of course I do! Uuhm, h-hi sir Stark!’’ you said with a shaking voice. 
‘‘Ahahahaha ‘sir Stark’, I kinda like that... Wow, you really are a genius kid. You could be an example for the others. Hey guys! Have you heard it? You should start to call me ‘Sir Stark’ too! After all, you need to show me some respect! I sacrificed myself to save the world from a bunch of intergalactic aliens, y’know!’’
‘‘Oh my- TONY! Just- gimme the phone’’ the same feminine voice of before interrupted him. ‘‘Hi darling, how are you? I’m Natasha, but you can just call me Nat, nice to meet you. Well, since we have no time, I just wanted to inform you: around 8:30 a black car will park right in front of your condominium. Don’t worry, it will just be our agent Phil ready to pick you up and bring you here! When you will arrive we’ll just finish the introductions. See you later then!’’ and she hanged up.
You looked at the clock. You had an hour to calm yourself down and rehearse your speech. Perfect.
‘‘Ok, so..*cough cough* Hi guys! I’m y/n, nice to meet you!’’
...
‘‘Oh my fucking god, NO, what the fuck is this!?! What am I?? A fucking toddler?? Man, this will be more difficult than I expected. Pleeeease dear god, I need your help!’’ you said throwing your head back and shutting your eyes, when suddenly, an idea flashed into your head. You slowly reopened your eyes and ran to your bedroom. Standing in front of the night table, you bent down and opened its third drawer just to take out a pair of reddish, round sunglasses. You looked out the window. It was a sunny hot day. You gave them another look.
‘‘Perfect’’ you said smiling.
You put the glasses on and walked over to the large mirror in the corner of the room.
‘‘These will surely bring me some luck. Thank you babe, I love you’’
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brightnote · 7 months
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Chapters: 5/? Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Captain America (Movies) Characters: Maria Hill, Natasha Romanov (Marvel), Tony Stark, Pepper Potts, Steve Rogers, Melinda May, Phil Coulson, Nick Fury, Original Characters, Jimmy Woo, Matt Murdock, James "Rhodey" Rhodes, Elizabeth | Maria Hill's Mother, Hydra Agents, Mallory Book Additional Tags: BAMF Maria Hill, Awesome Maria Hill, Maria Hill-centric, Action, pre age of ultron era, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Interrogation, mostly platonic action story, Humor, SHIELD skills, Stalking, Harassment, Trust Issues, Loyalty, Paranoia Chapter Summary: Tony makes amends with Maria and the two prepare to talk to the FBI. 
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danddymaro · 2 years
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Worth It | Steve Rogers x Reader
Reader is a little angsty / Former Hydra
same boat as Bucky basically
feel good stuff / Happy ending
Warning, it’s quite long my bbys.
Word count: 3615
Worth It
It was still early morning, just seconds before the hour hand had just touched the roman numeral 10 on her watch’s small oval face. 
Simultaneously, the heavens cried with loud, roaring thunder, soon letting falling droplets rain down to the surface of the earth without any reluctance.
When she had felt the first splash of liquid caress the tip of her nose, she came to a standstill, not moving an inch from the stop she had stood at.
 Stunned, she stayed motionless, slowly processing what had happened, because she hadn't really expected it.
“Rain…” She murmured almost dumbly, looking down at her upturned palms as they collected bits of water, the action performed subconsciously in response to the precipitation.
It was then that a placid smile slowly found its way over her features, the soft expression replacing the brooding one that had previously etched itself over her.
 She'd been caught by the downpour just like the rest of the unsuspecting population, however, as the rest of the world chose to bolt, she stayed to enjoy it, allowing herself to become kissed by every tiny speck of precipitation the sky could offer her, all with widespread arms of welcome. 
Feeling the water now cascade down her face in thin streams, she turned her head upwards to watch it all come down on her, the woman showered with cold splashes of affection without a single qualm.  
The murky sky continued to echo with heavy clapping sounds, ringing throughout the area with a grand, booming voice that demanded to be heard.
 It was a sound that some people would have found terrifying, more than likely bringing memories of childhood terrors, but in her case, it was just the contrary.  A soothing comfort washed forth, the sound serving as an earthy lullaby that brought  calmness to the (h/c) haired young woman, making her feel eased enough to unwind.
'It's chilly,' She thought to herself, finding peace in the sensation because the cold touch that graced her reminded her that she was alive. 
It reminded her that she was awake and no longer viewing the world behind a foggy screen door. 
The loud crashes and cold splashes reminded her of freedom and free will, no matter how chaotic and uncertain they were for everyone else.
 Another clash soon echoed, and the heavy sound stayed ringing in her ears, making her body shiver with the boom. 
She was well aware that she could simply walk away and seek refuge elsewhere. 
After all, she had the will to do so. Yet, all the same, she also had the same liberty to stay.
“I chose to stay,” she murmured, bathing beneath the grey skies.
‘My hands… my very soul and body...’ she thought with a small smile. ‘They are all mine,’ She mused.
A single tear strayed from her (e/c) eyes, melding with the sky's own sorrow, the sole droplet masked beneath the rain to the rest of the world. 
- And that's where he found her, standing alone, and gazing up at the sky with a strange, yet prepossessing expression look he couldn't quite place. 
He didn't know what to say to her, or where to begin,
 ‘What could I say?’ Moreover, ‘What haven't I already said?’ he wondered exasperated. 
'I just want you to be happy. 
- I just want you to come home.' he went on.
The closer he stepped towards her, the harder his heart worked, the accelerated pace nearly unbearable.
He went near, but was always stopped by an invisible wall, one she set up for anyone that tried to touch her, and it frustrated him to no end.
It hurt to come so close, yet be so far all the same.
Mutely, he stood just a few feet away, staring at her with tender blue eyes, not knowing what to do or say, but knowing well enough that he had to be there. 
And there was another thing he was certain of, and it was that it hurt him. 
The bared, melancholic sight of her hurt him in a way that left a burning pain.
Meanwhile, she'd known that eventually he'd follow her route, doing just as he'd done in the past. 
It hadn’t been an If, just when.
Occupied with the murky sky that had been riddled with heavy, thick clouds, her eyes did not stray from above.
“- I like the rain,” she said softly, trying to comfort his worry, attempting to convince him that everything was indeed fine. However, there was a falter in her voice that sounded of sorrow and stillness within. 
Her own voice had betrayed her, the tone of it recreating the tune of heartsick song that was nearly drowned out by the loud sound of downpour.
It could have been a simple breath that extended too much, or even a single eye bat that carried one, single dinky tear. 
It could have been something that meant nothing to someone else.
- But to him, it was a reason, A reason to persist.
He always found a reason to worry, an excuse to pave his way inside her heart and life despite the fair warnings he'd been given from just about every other person in his life that insisted that there was no reaching her.
Throughout it all, she tried hard to ignore it all, doing so to keep him at arm’s length, but as time passed, she began to let loose of her barriers, slowly give in to him. 
Truthfully, within her, there was a hidden hope buried deep within the depths of her being that urged him to reach out more. It begged him to take hold of her and make reason with the lingering memories of void and darkness she had been chucked through. 
'Just understand me. ' She sometimes thought to herself, 'Please...just wait for me,' she often thought, swallowing down the pleas instead, and attempting to drown them out with other voices that told her that she wasn't worth it. 
- That she'd hurt him. 
That she, as much as she could try, would never be happy or deserving of anything gracious that could come to her.
She’d come a long way from her initial perception of him.
It didn’t happen all at once, especially not when at first, it wasn’t easy to trust him. It wasn’t easy to simply give herself in to anybody, especially not when she’d smelt a hidden motive.
She had seen him as a selfish man at first, convinced that his motives weren't for her better being, but for his own gain.
 At first, she had come to the conclusion that she reminded him of his lost friend much more than he had first realized. 
Because they both were lost souls, Void vessels once harbored by human beings that had felt hope, that had felt joy and happiness alike. 
They were stripped of humanity, stripped of choices and will, and used like cold weapons.
‘It’s not you that he cares about,’ a little viscous voice would persist. ‘It’s not you that he wants to save,’ It would add, the thought one day coming out during an argument between the two.
Perhaps that was what it started out as; a way to rectify his shortcomings with Bucky. 
Admittedly, She was like a reminder of him, always guilting him for not finding a way to save him from the tortures he had endured. She was always there reminding Steve that he hadn't been there when Bucky needed him.
Perhaps, in some way, if he could find a way to save her, to bring light into her life, he could do the same for him. 
He could save them both.
Unknowingly he’d moved with his own motives, his own self satisfaction, and it had taken one argument for him to realize just what he was doing. 
And in that same conversation he’d realized that while it had started that way, his reason had changed.
Because it wasn’t about just Bucky.
It wasn’t about himself either. It wasn’t about his own shortcoming, or even the growing feeling he’d start to have for her, but rather, her, herself.
It was about (f/n).
It had just been her and the happiness he knew she deserved. 
She was an independent person wedged in his mind, also infecting his heart. 
And she meant much more than what she believed. 
She wasn't a way for him to feel better about his failures, instead, she was someone he had fallen for and was willing to give everything to.
He felt it in his heart.
It was like a silent calling that reeled him in.
During that same argument he'd taken her back when he told her that he loved her.
With a single breath he’d fought back with a confession that stunned them both.
He'd slipped up badly, and it even took him a moment to process what he'd said, and afterward he didn't try to explain himself or deny it.
"(f/n), " he merely said, and it wasn't the way he said it that caused her to shiver, but the idea that someone used the name to address her.
She had a name; her name.
It gave her individuality and personified her.
“You soaking wet,” he halfheartedly chided, stepping out close to her, offering her refuge under his umbrella to her. 
He wanted to share the space beneath it with her, just like he wanted to share so many other things with her, from the good to the bad, and that included everything in between.
He wanted to secure her and make the rain stop; reach her at any cost it took.
But as she stood there in her same misery, she had already become drenched and found it silly.
What good was it to shield her now that she had become soiled and filthy? 
Why would he try to save something already damaged? 
She always wondered why? 
‘Why me?’ 
when she finally faced him, she offered him a long glance with nothing written on her face, still devoid of joy, and even sadness.
And she was in a sense, she was a reminiscence of her old self, the one that had once been just an empty husk. And just when it seemed like an eternity had passed, she smiled broadly, hoping to fool him. 
During then a burning trail seeped down her face, her own rain silently descending.
 With her eyes becoming reddened with the sting of the salty trails mixing with the precipitation, there wasn't a way for her to hide the obvious pain crawling over her heavy heart from him again even if he couldn't see her tears flow.
- Even if he couldn't feel her same pain.
“You're so kind.” She commented, looking straight into his clear-colored eyes as she ignored his offer.
The loveliness of his pure blue's caused her heart to perform a rather involuntary jump that happened every so often in his presence, and she knew it meant that somehow, he'd managed to slip his way through to her.
Somewhere along the way she'd fallen in love too.
“...But I don't need it.” She continued, observing his fingers as they tightly clutched the holder, knowing he must have been frustrated by her refusal.
His fingers twitched slightly as they stayed curled on the umbrella's holder, and his face became stern because it was the only mask he had to hide what he truly felt. After all, it was the only way to hide how much it pained him to know she was all by herself, and much more, that she made sure to keep it that way.  
“Like I said… I like the rain.” She repeated, trying to dismiss him, hoping to push him away once again.
 Steve bit his lip uncomfortably because he desperately wanted to say something, but instead stepped back as he sighed, defeated.  
His shoulders dropped as he seemed to come to acceptance and defeat. 
- but it was only for that day. 
The next he’d start with another open slate, offering an open shelter again, repeating the process again and again until there was a different outcome. 
“I’ll go,” he told her, “But, please, just take this.” He said to her, pushing the umbrella holder in her face.
With doing that, the rain began to fall on him instead, saving her from the shower. 
Under the safe canopy the umbrella created for her, he could see streams still running down her (e/c) colored eyes even as she tried to glare at him, the woman retaining an expression that was akin to rage.
“ (f/n)” he said tenderly, grazing her wet cheek with his warm, large hand, the touch brief.
And for just a moment her eyes closed, her breath hitched at the warmth of his palm on her icy cheek, the rueful expression washed away with the simple touch.
 There was so much he wanted to say to her, but instead, he withdrew, leaving her under the safety of the umbrella, well with just that. 
‘One step at a time…
Little by little….’
He’d break those walls, waiting however long it took for her to truly realize that's all he wanted. 
She wasn't inclined to take him as anything more than a friend. if it made her happy, he was willing to offer her a more silent, and reserved form of love.
‘All I want is for you to be happy (f/n),’ and with that warm thought he left, willing to comply, drawing back again.
“You shouldn't have bothered, ” she said to herself, watching as he began to further himself from her before turning a corner that hid his retreating form from her.
 It wasn't his responsibility to save her, in fact, it wasn't anyone's duty but her own cross to bear.
‘Why does he make this hard,’ she wondered while gritting her teeth. 
She hated the way he made her feel. 
She despised how light her usually heavy heart felt when he spoke to her, much more when he paid attention to her. 
Especially when he sought her because he'd come far past a point where almost everyone else had long lost their interest in her.
They'd realized she wasn't worth it, so why won't he?
“Why do you keep trying?” She uttered, feeling a pestering clench in her chest that left her withering as she recalled how bold he'd been when he'd told her he loved her.
Was love really that stupid?
Enough to ignore such bright, burning red flags?
 For a few silent minutes, she stayed still, alone.
She recalled how his large muscled back had been clothed by a thin, wet t-shirt, a plain off white he'd worn the day before.
He was still wearing his pajama sweats, walking on the wet, concrete ground barefooted, and it was then that she realized just how urgent he'd been to get to her. 
‘He ran out here for me.’ she thought with a sniffle, the realization dawning upon her slowly.
"You idiot...You probably ran out here without even thinking about it." She said with an airy chuckle, just imagining the panic he wore as he made his way through the filled streets. 
'I worry you so much.'
The holder had been warm after he released it to her, so, she could still feel the aftermath of his touch to it on her own wet, cold palm, and at that, she tightly closed her eyes, focusing on the soft heat that slowly melted with her resurfacing one.
'Because I mean so much to you...' she mused.
 “You're such an idiot,” she muttered, taking a deep, steadied breath, soon releasing it in a shaky shutter that ended with an airy chuckle. 
 She then brushed away the last of her tears with her free hand, looking down at the puddled ground with upturned brows. 
Her mouth itched to quirk up, but all the same, she struggled to stop her tears. 
Her breathing continued to fasten until she was left with hard pants that quickly formed into sobs she just couldn't control.
Wobbly legs nearly caved, and she heard the two voices argue.
One side was crying for him to come back, begging him to return as the other was nearly a snarl, bitterness laced in the words that would proceed it as it reminded her of all the horrible things she'd done, and how she would never rectify them.
She didn't deserve him one bit, and he sure as hell didn't deserve all of the trouble she was worth.
She then fell to her knees, and alone, she hugged herself, miserable under the same loneliness and cold rain she'd claimed to love.
━━━━━━━━━━━━━
His name was just a whisper at first, a weak and frail sound that struggled to leave her, but soon it grew in volume as well as in urgency.
In need, and in true want, she repeated his name, wanting him to stop, waiting for him to just stay for her.
Startled, he turned around to the sound of quick steps in the water, splashes of puddles caused by running legs and stomping feet.
She headed straight towards him in a heated run, heavy heaves lifting her chest as she forced herself to push forward. 
All the while, she tightly clutched the umbrella's rod within two tightly wrung hands, holding it upright as she dashed through the emptied city in search of the endearing man.
As she neared him, she slowed down, soon coming to an abrupt stop that almost toppled her over. 
She then stood a few feet away from him, just barely out of arm's reach from him. 
If she chose to try and grasp him, her fingertips would definitely graze him, and that's where they'd stood for so long that it should have felt natural if not for the nagging pain in her chest that told her it wasn't. 
She stared back at him, looking like a completely different person altogether, one that seemed new but certainly wasn't a stranger because It was only her without a mask. 
Her, truly bared.
Her eyes shone with hope she’d always swallow, and much more swirling emotions she usually hid beneath a layer of jaded stone that had seemed unbreakable. And it was the first time he could read the two (e/c) colored eyes clearly, no undertones, no hidden messages, just (f/n) in her raw state. 
It was the girl that had been too weak to break through the barriers she incased herself in before.
 It was the same broken person that had been in there, stuck behind the thick walls, always hoping he’d burst his way through, wishing he wouldn't come to the same defeat everyone else had accepted. 
' I'm not like you.' She silently lamented. ' I've done more bad than good. 
Even if you keep assuring me it wasn't me. 
The thing is, even if you keep telling me it wasn't my fault...I remember it from the perspective of a monster. 
I remember it all...
I remember them all.'
“Steve...don’t go,” she pleaded with him. "Not yet."
Altogether it winded him, and as he took that first breath of anticipation, she offered him a shaky smile, not quite remembering how to truly form the expression, and instead, letting the beautiful feeling that he caused finally take over. 
It wasn’t the same false upturn she’d offer everyone else when she wanted to be left alone, but rather, one true to her heart.
 “ Can…. Can we just walk together?” she asked struggling to say the words, each syllable struggled through.
She swallowed a thick lump as he stayed silent, the man still stunned.
It was then that an existing fear took a clutch of her stilled heart, as she realized that perhaps she might have been too late. 
‘ Have you already had enough?' She wondered, 'Did I end up ruining everything?'
Was this all just punishment?
- All she should expect.
  Mustering up a smile meant just for her, he approached the shivering young woman, taking refuge with her under the large, black umbrella. 
"Of course," he answered her, answering her in a tone that spoke for itself, assuring her there was no reason to think otherwise.
The man soon grazed his fingers over her small, tightly wound hand, taking the holder back into his hold, the Large coverage hovering above them both as he lifted it. 
 All the while he looked down at her, studying the sweet exposure of her (e/c) colored orbs, taking in the sight with glowing soft blues. 
 With falling rain still coming down in heavy waves, he made sure to keep her tucked safely under his arm, holding her near, and willingly she allowed him closer, the woman going as far as to cuddle closer. 
She felt oddly safe while exposed and it was a feeling that was nearly addicting. 
Was this what love was?
Stupid...vulnerable, but safe?
The uncertainty and insecurity that came with coming closer was battled and being conquered by the warmth he ignited in her. 
'It's ok if I'm afraid... right?'
He would show her she was worthy of a chance, worthy of life, deserving of both care and attention. Even if it’d take him all the time in the world he had left, he'd find a way to show her, and it was a silent oath he took. 
'Show me the way back,' She pleaded, ' And Please stay by me,' She went on, 
'I don't think I'm worth it.
I don't think I deserve it.
…But please change my mind. 
Please show me something different
Steve Stay with me.
Even if I’m afraid...I want to be afraid in your arms.'
A/N: A Long time ago I made one for Bucky with the focus being an umbrella and this was supposed to be Steve’s version. This has been in my drafts since then, which is sad. I know, I suck.
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The right universe.
Summary: After Y/N's life turns upside down, she's full of grief. Somehow, one day, she manages to travel to the MCU, where she meets her favorite characters, including a certain god who seems willing to establish a friendship with her. Suddenly she's enwrapped in this new world, where everything she loved in a screen is now reality. How will she react? Will she be able to deal with the ghosts that haunt her? Or will she let them consume her? Will she be open to accept the love she is offered? Read to find out!
Read this on AO3! 
Category: F/M.
Relationships: Loki/reader. 
Characters: Wanda Maximoff, Pietro Maximoff, Sam Wilson (Marvel), James "Bucky" Barnes, Vision (Marvel), Tony Stark, Natasha Romanov (Marvel), Stephen Strange, Nick Fury, Maria Hill, Bruce Banner, Thor (Marvel), Clint Barton, Steve Rogers, Peter Parker, other minor appearances of other characters but these are the main ones, Pepper Potts, Loki (Marvel). 
Additional tags: Loki/reader - Freeform, Avenger Loki (Marvel), Loki & Tony Stark Friendship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Fluffyfest, Slow Burn, Friends to Lovers, Mutual Pining, Pining a lot because we love to suffer, Domestic Avengers, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark is a parental figure, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Everyone is a good bro, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, y/n, After Infinity War but no one died and the purple bitch was defeated, Missions, Y/N is a universe traveller, Grief, Therapy, Protective Loki (Marvel), Loki in love.
MASTERLIST OF THE STORY
Chapter 38: The solution. 
“Okay, spit it out.” Steve told the redheads as everyone gathered in the sanctum.
“So, we were thinking,” Wanda began, “that Loki can sense Y/N's magic.”
“And Wakanda has the space stone, which can open a portal through space, time and, probably, universes.” Natasha finished. Everyone stayed silent, thinking.
“So the plan would be to use the tesseract to open a portal to wherever Loki senses Y/N's magic?” He asked.
“Pretty much, yeah.” The spy told him. Steve nodded.
“It's simple but it could work. Alright,” he paused, “Tony, Bruce and I are going to Wakanda to retrieve it. Loki,”
The god looked up.
“Rest a bit, you're gonna need a lot of energy.”
                                          -------------------------
“Hey, how are you?” Wanda asked Nat, who seemed sorrowful thinking about something. They were currently in the sanctum, waiting for the three men to come back with the stone, until then, they couldn't do much more than wait, which drove Natasha insane.
“Hey,” she told her and shrugged. “Been better. I'm gonna kill her once she comes back.” The witch laughed.
“Normally I would be against violence but, yeah, me too.” She sighed. “I really hope the plan works, for the sake of everyone here.”
“Yeah,” the spy let out a breathy chuckle. “Everyone here would go insane without Y/N, they all adore her.”
They stayed silent for a while after that, thinking about the weight of the next few hours, the possibility of never seeing her again, which tore their hearts out of their chests in pain, until Wanda let out a giggle. Nat looked at her.
“Remember the first time she tried to conjure a glass of milk with her powers?”
“Yeah,” the other redhead laughed. “She ended up conjuring a chicken.”
“Yeah,” she giggled. “Always so graceful…” They both burst out laughing.
“What are you two laughing about?” Strange's voice rang out in the room. They both looked at him.
“We were sharing funny stories about Y/N.” Wanda told him.
“I think she'll love to hear them,” he said. “Come on, the three of them are back.”
They both widened their eyes and scrambled up from their seats, following the sorcerer into a hall leading to where the others were.
                                            ----------------------------
“Alright,” Tony said, “so you grab the tesseract, turn on your magic thingy and try to feel where Y/N is, got it?” Loki rolled his eyes but nodded nonetheless.
“Okay,” Steve said. “Are you ready Loki?”
The god looked at him, positioned himself in the middle of the room and turned on his “magic thingy”.
“As ready as I'll ever be.”
~taglist~ @mischief2sarawr @midnights-ramblings @paetonnn @tohellwiththedevill 
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yeehawpim · 7 months
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a comic about fix-it fanfics
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