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#The handler
Roxana: please explain to me why we're here.
John Juniper: on my birthday, Phoenix took me to the theater to see a show I had been dying to see. They worked overtime and even spent less on cigars and the like to save for it.
Roxana: *looking around at the McDonald's play place John rented out for a night* so... Does that mean the one thing Phoenix wanted was-
John Juniper: yep. And you better get comfortable because their specific words were "LOCKED in the play place with my favourite people."
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Phoenix: Prism won't come out of her lab.
Reginald: Just tell her I said something.
Phoenix: Said what?
Reginald: Anything factually incorrect.
Phoenix: *shrugs* Okay.
*five minutes later*
Prism running in with Right Robot behind her: DID YOU JUST SAY THE SUN IS A PLANET?!?
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anime093se · 1 day
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momokodaisy · 6 months
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Extremely Late Umbrella Academy Textposts That Have Definitely Been Done Before (3/?) Pt1 Pt2 Pt4 Pt5
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royalbabble · 3 months
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This is a Handler Appreciation Space. If you think the Handler is criminally overhated, please stand up!
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pikinanouart · 3 months
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Because everybody appreciate a dress with pockets!
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hihomeghere · 6 months
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Unspoken thing | Five Hargreeves / Reader
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Word count : 1.7k Summary : Part 2 of One Bed, after that fateful night in the hotel room. Five has been avoiding you and now you're called into the Handler's office to take responsibility for the delay in exterminating the target. After a minor injury caused by the Handler, Five patches you up. You can no longer take the tension of the unspoken thing between the two of you. ( I do not own The Umbrella Academy or any of it's characters) Warnings / Tags : Allusions to smut, cursing, mentions of blood and surgery equipment, tension, use of y/n, Aged up!Five. Not requested. Part one here
“Impressive work, Y/n.” The handler said with a sickly sweet tone. She flipped through your completed files. You watched as she licked her finger before turning a page. You swallowed, fighting the urge to cower before her. “I see here that you suffered from a headache during your mission, is that correct?” She asked, cocking her head in false concern. It wasn’t just a headache. 
“Yes.” You answered, not daring to say anything more. Anything you said could and most likely would be held against you. She read the paper, her eyes flying from left to right.
“Hmm, yes it seems that this delayed your extermination of the target?” She phrased the statement as more of a question. Treating you as a child instead of an employee. She clicked her tongue leaning forward, clasping her hands. You bit the inside of your cheek. 
“No.” You tried to keep your voice steady, with no discernible tone. She raised her eyebrows, her fake smile falling.
What delayed the job was unforeseen circumstances, Five was looking for you instead of the target. You had split up, and he couldn’t find his way back to you. Which had then led to a very interesting night in a hotel room. 
You should have known that you would get called in for this instead of Five. Even though it had been both of your responsibilities to eliminate the target. But Five was one of the handlers favorites. 
“Hm.” She hummed, clicking her tongue, “You know Y/n if you let any of our trained scientists here poke around in that little brain of yours. We could figure out why you’re getting those headaches.” She pointed to your head with a well manicured red nail. You froze, all the air seemed to be sucked out of the room. You were transported back to that lab. The sounds of drilling, cold sterile instruments, the excruciating pain. Your screams echoing off the walls. The scientists with bloody gloves and masks.
“No. No one is going to ‘poke’ around anywhere.” You said quickly, shaking your head, wiping your sweaty palms on your pants. The handler smiled, pleased by your reaction. You sighed looking down at your lap. In for 4, hold for 7, out for 8. 
“Well, the offer remains if you change your mind.” She said standing up, you stood up as well. Glad this interrogation was over. “Although if you wish to stay Number Five’s partner, you’ll need to start pushing through your headaches to complete the mission.” She said false encouragement in her voice. Her hand gripped your shoulder as she led you out of her office, her sharp nails digging into your skin. You winced, pulling away from her. She cocked her head as though she was surprised by your reaction.
“You won’t have to worry about finding him a new partner.” You said through gritted teeth, “We’ll manage just fine.” You turned on your heel, striding towards the stairs. Once you were sure you were out of her view you let out a shaky breath. In for 4, hold for 7- Tears started to prick your eyes. You took in a shuddery breath, your hand coming to your heart. You rushed down the stairs, a stabilizing hand on the railing. Your other hand moved from your heart to cover your shoulder. You started breathing rapidly, your heart pounding in your ears. You turned down an empty hallway, leaning up against the wall. A cool hand wrapped around your wrist, Five blinked you both into his office. You would never get used to that, like someone was injecting ice into your veins.
He led you to one of his office chairs, the same one you had sat in when you first met him. He squatted in front of you, inspecting you for any injuries. His cold fingertips landed on your shoulder, he stopped, his eyes meeting yours.
“Who did this to you?” He asked his jaw clenching, you lowered your gaze. He tilted your chin up with his hand, forcing you to look at him. His gaze was deadly, calculated, ready to strike whoever did this to you.
“The handler.” You whispered, biting your lip. Five clicked his tongue, a scowl on his face.
“Of course, I assume this after the mission debrief?” He stood up walking around to the other side of his desk, rifling through his drawers.
“Yes, Five it’s fine-” You said, picking at the skin on your hands. 
“Fine? That bitch dug her claws into you.” He scoffed, shaking his head behind his desk. He stalked around his desk to kneel in front of you again. He rolled up his sleeves to his elbows, his forearms bare except for the umbrella tattoo. Part of you wanted to trace the veins on his arms, to touch him in any way. You thought that being with him physically would have scratched the itch, instead it only fed the fire inside you. You missed his touch, most of all you missed him. You could count on your hands the number of words he had said to you since that night. He opened up his first aid kit, pulling out a small bottle of hydrogen peroxide. He carefully poured a small bit onto a cotton ball gently dabbing it against the bleeding crescent marks in your shoulder. You flinched but prided yourself on keeping quiet as he pressed the cotton ball onto the wound. You felt the prick of new tears in your eyes, you raised your gaze to the ceiling. Your vision clouding with unshed tears, you sniffled as quietly as you could. Although every sound seemed amplified in the tiny office.
You watched Five work, this wasn’t some gaping wound he had to patch up by himself. It was a scratch, but you could tell he had a system, doing this many times before. His jaw was set with an unreadable expression. He moved like a machine, programmed only to do this task. He opened up a bandaid, covering the wound on your shoulder. 
“Done.” He said, rising to his feet.
“Thank you.” You said slowly getting to your feet. He walked back to his desk, opening the drawer and setting the first aid kit back in its normal spot. Now to leave, he had only done his duty as your partner. Nothing more. He had made it clear he didn’t love you, and made it clear that you were only partners. You were ready to go home, curl up in your bed with a good book. You walked to the door, your hand settling on the door knob.
“Leaving so soon?” He questioned, you looked back at him. He was pulling out a bottle of scotch, two glasses balanced in his hands.
“What?” You asked, your brows pinching together. 
“Can I not ask my partner to share a nightcap?” He asked, recoiling, a teasing smile tugging on his lips. Your heart thumped in your ears, you longed to be close to him again. Longed to be back in his corner where you belonged.
But he wasn’t yours.
“No.” You bit your cheek, avoiding his gaze as you looked away from him. Unspoken things always seemed so romantic, full of tension, the will-they-won't-they of it all. It didn’t feel romantic  right now, full of tension yes. This tension that made you want to tear your skin off, instead of your clothes.
“No?” He raised his brows, setting down the glasses on this desk before loosening his tie. 
“Is that what I am to you? Just your partner?” The words slipped out before you could think to bite your tongue. You clench your fists, grounding yourself with the dull pain in your palms. He scoffed, pouring the golden liquid into his glass. 
“You should know what you mean to me.” He turned his eyebrows pinched together, “I’m not some womanizer.” He knocked back the glass, hissing as the alcohol ran down his throat. Your face burned, shame creeping up your neck.
“Well I don’t know, so what am I to you?” You asked. His chest rose and fell rapidly, he hung his head bracing himself on his desk. 
“Fine.” He said standing to his full height, “You want to know what you are to me?” his lip twitched as he waited for your response. You nodded, crossing your arms. “You’re my everything.” It was like someone had dumped a bucket of water over you. He walked around the desk, you were frozen like a deer in the headlights. He stalked towards you, “I can’t think when you’re around- you-” he huffed clenching and unclenching his fists. “You drive me crazy.” he said softly, his eyes meeting  yours. 
“I-” You began when the door opened, pushing you forward into Five’s arms.
“Oh! So sorry Y/n!” Herb squeaked, pulling the case file close to his chest. You looked up, directly into Five’s face. His jaw was clenched, his stern gaze turned on Herb now.
“No worries.” You breathed, holding onto Five’s arms for balance as you got back on your feet. Once you were able to support yourself again, Five reached out and snatched the file from Herb’s hands. He began to thumb through it, “You’ll be leaving immediately.” Herb clasped his hands together, “Handler’s orders.” You internally groaned, what a fucking cock block. 
“Thank you Herb.” You said walking up beside Five, “We’ll take it from here.” You said with a reassuring smile. He nodded before closing the door behind him. Once Herb had walked down the hallway you put your hand on Five’s shoulder. He turned his head to look at you, his eyes full of emotion. “Let’s get the job done, and once we are back we can pick up where we left off.” You smiled softly, moving to stand in front of him. You reached up and straightened his tie, he relaxed under your touch. 
“Alright, tesoro.” He smiled, the corner of his lip pulling up. You pulled him forward by his tie, softly kissing his cheek. You’d have to thank the Handler for her hand in all of this, maybe an edible arrangement? You chuckled to yourself as you walked toward the briefcase department, Five’s hand resting on your lower back.
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c0ffeeb1ack · 5 months
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[the handler voice] going insane in the apocalypse for forty years all by yourself, handsome?
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thehandl3r · 2 years
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The Handler: I’m writing my autobiography. Any tips?
Five: Kill off the main character.
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rubysunnday · 9 months
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TOP TEN TELEVISiON SHOWS (as chosen by me) 5) The Umbrella Academy (2019 - ) ↳ “You are depriving some village of their idiot.”
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icecreampizzer · 4 months
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babygirl who is also a 50 year-old man
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Reginald: and here's our newest intern! Here to make amends for his wrong doings! *Points at Juniper*
Agent Phoenix: it's...
Reginald: be nice!
Agent Phoenix: I'm finding it.
Agent Phoenix: ...
Agent Phoenix: ...
John Juniper: it takes you that long to find it?
Agent Phoenix: it does!
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witchcraftandgeeknes · 7 months
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fivecoffeemugs · 10 months
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My friend @cryptidcave-dweller made a point that The Handler and Yzma from The Emperor's New Groove have the same vibe and I cannot unsee it.
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And as she quoted:
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momokodaisy · 2 months
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Extremely Late Umbrella Academy Textposts That Have Definitely Been Done Before (9/?) prev next
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solobodor · 5 months
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Recently got into the game trilogie "I Expect you to die" and REALLY enjoyed it ehehe, i wanted to doodle design idea for the main cast
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