#WHO NEEDS RELIGION WHEN U CAN DERIVE THE FUCKING NUMBERS!!

[salty-dracon]

small town happenings

a lot of weird things happen in lily’s little town that no one notices until you examine the context

Val’s room, after the kids are finished filming a video

*post video thing that the ace kids think no one will notice* 

Val: Hey, Brid, you doin’ okay?

Lily: Yeah, you don’t look so good. 

Brid: I don’t know. 

(Lily places her hand on her neck) 

Lily: You’ve got a serious fever. You should go home. 

Brid: My mom made me go to school. I have a 2 degree fever, but I  had a test... 

Val: That’s not good. Come on, I’ll- Lily, get some orange juice. I’m gonna get some Advil for her. Come on. 

(They both leave the room, Angel walks in) 

Angel: Heard you had a fever? 

Brid: It’s only two degrees. 

Angel: You’ve been over a hundred degrees all day and you came here anyway? ... Not that the boy couldn’t use some immunity, considering his eating habits... 

Brid: Sorry. 

Angel: You said you went to school too?

Brid: I told my mom I had a fever, our thermometer wasn’t working, she didn’t believe me... *Angel hugs her from behind* Hey, what are you doing? 

Angel: I can kill them for you. 

Brid: That’s nice, Mr. Perch, but-

Angel: No, really. I can. If things ever get bad... you let me know. I’ll take care of them, and I’d be happy to take you in one the deed’s done.

Brid: Not now. Can you let go of me?

Angel: Sorry. *lets go of her* I’ll call your mum. And don’t hesitate to talk to Val, either. He’s not as fundamentally lacking as he looks. 

(Val and Lily burst back in with orange juice and Advil)

Val: We got the sip!

----------------------------------

Julie’s backyard, and their chickens

Julien: So here’s Athena, enjoying her lunch- come here, darling- *hugs chicken* The whole flock’s been doing pretty well, I think. *footsteps* Oh, uh-

(Brooke stomps in and sits down on her back porch)

Julien: Hey, Brooke. 

Brooke: ... I just made. The fucking stupidest bet. 

Julien: What’s wrong? 

Brooke: So you know how Grey wants to introduce me to the pastor at the Rastafarianism Something-or-other?

Julien: Rastafarianism is an African religion, I thought you told me he was-

Brooke: So, I was complaining to him about how my stupid fucking precalc teacher wants to give a stupid fucking test about stupid fucking derivatives, even though she hasn’t taught shit. So I was complaining about that shit to Grey, and he was like, ‘so you’ll be studying on Monday’ and I was like, yeah! It wasn’t going to be fun, but yeah!

Julien: Fuckin’ hate precalc. 

Brooke: So then, I start yelling about how fucking stupid the test was going to be, and then he was like, “the Lord can’t get you out of your contractual obligations” and I was like “well I sure as hell would like to hang out with a lord that COULD”-

Julien: Oh dear. 

Brooke: -and then he said, “Then I’ll let him know, in exchange for you meeting him if the test is cancelled or postponed.” which is basically code for him taking me to his Proletarian church to meet his pastor because I’m a good girl or something-

Julien: Proletarian is a reference to Marxism. I think you’re trying to say-

Brooke: I’m a BAD GIRL! I’m a BAD ASS BITCH! 

Julien: We know, Brooke. We know. 

Brooke: So I walk into class today, and my teacher fucking tells me that the test has been postponed. Because she accidentally scheduled a date on the same day and had no time to make questions. So she held a review session. 

Julien: Holy shit. 

Brooke: And I’m like, great, how am I gonna weasel my way outta this one? And I get home, and Grey already knows. Like, he’s like, ‘hey I heard from a friend that your test got postponed looks like we can go after all and you still get to do your test’ and then like ‘the lord is happy and so am i’ and I was like no fuck you and I left. 

Julien: And now you’re here. 

Brooke: And now I’m here. 

Julien: Some lord, huh? 

Brooke: No, I refuse to fucking believe that. That ASSHOLE somehow knew that I’d get that test postponed. Like, he’s famous, okay? He must have made a call or something. 

Julien: Did you jump out the window again? 

Brooke: .... No. 

Julien: Wanna help me feed the chickens?

Brooke: ... Yes please. 

------------------------------

Adrian is hanging outside with Larkspur

Adrian: Okay, this fucker, who’s basically my cousin’s beta, thinks he’s a real fucking vampire. 

Larkspur: And this child, who still lives in his mother’s basement and forgot to apply to college twice, thinks he is also a real vampire. 

Adrian: I haven’t aged since 16, I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about. 

Larkspur: Mentally, maybe. 

Adrian: Fuck you. 

Larkspur: I do age, Adrian, but I maintain my youth. Plus I’ve nearly got my degree. 

Adrian: In what? Bottoming? 

Larkspur: Accounting.

Adrian: Fucking boring. 

Larkspur: Well, at I’ll never be unemployed. Unlike someone. And the world needs good accountants. When the Nazis take over again they’ll need good accountants, and I’ll already be long dead by the time Star Trek happens, so... 

Adrian: ... what the fuck. Okay fine what’s the integral of 2x+5 from 0 to 1?

Larkspur: Six. 

Adrian: Shit. Okay, what’s the integral of 1/x from 3 to 5?

Larkspur: Log of 5/3. 

Adrian: What the fuck? 

Larkspur: Hit me with something harder

Adrian: Intregral of x^3 + x from 6 to 2! 

Larkspur: ....

Adrian: See, that one’s-

Larkspur: -336. You said 6 to 2, so the correct answer’s negative, just so you know. 

Adrian: ... are you shitting me

Larkspur: Accounting just requires adding numbers and memorizing rules and formulas, not integrals. 

(edit: fixed a lot of math)

-----------------------

(Lily is eating cookies with young Ares and Venus)

Lily: God I wish I was you.

Ares: Why? High school’s fun, right? 

Lily: Well... yeah, I guess... 

Venus: Do you wish you were me too, Lily?

Lily: .... Sure? 

Venus: Yay! I wish I was you!

Lily: No, kid, no you don’t... 

Val: You say you hate kids, and then you get along so well with them. 

Lily: Nah, you can just talk to kids, and they’ll give you wisdom. They’re pretty smart in some ways. 

Ares: She’s right. 

Val: What the frick. 

Angel: No swearing around the boys. Alright, the four of you can enjoy some fruit punch-

Ares: It’ll be three if you’re not careful.  

(Everyone drops dead silent) 

Angel: Three? 

Ares: Because everyone dies, right? 

Lily: Damn, he’s a baby goth. 

Ares: But you won’t die. 

Val: ... what do you mean

Angel: ... yeah what do you mean

Ares: They’ll find you someday.

Lily: I am going to... turn off this recording now... 

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(Tommy and Narin are hanging out near a pool at nighttime)

Narin: We’re going skinny dipping! 

Tommy: And no one’s stopping us!

Narin: And I invited friends! 

Tommy: Wait, what friends? 

Narin: Mai-Mai, Adri, Tawny, and Drake!

Tommy: ... the monster hunting club?

Narin: They’re not real monster hunters-

(They turn around, there’s a set of glowing eyes behind the chain link fence)

Narin: What is that. 

Tommy: R U N

--------------

(AN: Angel has killed and is currently looking for an excuse to kill again, Grey has the ability to chat with the heavens, Larkspur is a real fucking vampire but Adrian isn’t, Ares has the ability to read minds and knows that Angel wants to kill Val even though he can’t quite put it into words, and one of Narin’s friends is a werewolf)

#life as an aj #secretagents #halfwaydead #tmx #weareanml

[fantroll-purgatory]

@tuesdaney

Info!! (rip this got super long). also image uploader within this is being weird so image is coming as a separate submission. or maybe it’s in the post three times and i just can’t see it, in which case i am so sorry

We can fix every formatting problem behind the scenes. Shh, no one even needs to know anything went wrong. 

Alternian, AU since she eventually joins a session.

Age: 7 sweeps

Name: Januss Celera. Januss from Janus, in reference to both the Roman god of time and Janus particles (specifically particles which are half hydrophilic and half hydrophobic). Celera from Acceleration.

Janus is also a god of transitions and duality, so I think it makes sense for this switching-up thing you’ve given her. He is also associated a lot with travel and journey and so forth. It’s ALSO speculated that his name could’ve been derived from the Latin verb ‘to go’, which fits her speed theme. What I’m saying is Januss Celera is a great name.

Strife Specibus: vehicular manslaughterkind i don’t actually know. she’s not really one for combat, which is to say she’ll murder anyone clearly weaker than her no problem but if it looks like anything close to a fair fight she’s going to be a coward and run away. at a loss for something that fits

She has a really rough and tumble vibe. I think for a regular weapon you could give her maybe a tireironkind? Something that’s functionally related to her interests but that she can also grab and wail on someone with if she needs to. 

Or you could reference her excessive need to win by giving her trophykind. If someone beats her in a race, she can just grab the trophy they won and bash them with that. Seems fitting for her personality.

You could give her vehiclekind as a secondary weapon, though! Weaponize those cars, Januss.  

Fetch Modus: also not too sure. I like the idea of a modus where she has to be traveling at least a certain speed to get items out, so at walking pace she could only get out little things but if shes flooring it in some kinda vehicle she can take out whatever she wants

Velocity Modus sounds like a good idea. Gotta speed up to eject things. 

Or you could do like a Time Challenge Modus. When she wants to eject something from the modus, it’s split into ‘components’ that are scattered across an area and she has a time limit to collect them all. If she fails the time challenge, the item gets locked down for a time proportionate to how important the item is. She could use such a particularly annoying modus because she feels confident in her ability to Always Succeed.

Blood Color: ok hoooo boy here’s where we get to the Whole Idea behind Januss and its going to take a second of explaining my personal speculations on troll genetics and biology, so:

There’s a specific part of the troll genome that goes “hey! this troll is a seadweller” which triggers the development of gills and fins in a grub-to-be, and the violet blood. It’s actually present in the genes of every troll, but is only able to switch on in purplebloods, and only in specific circumstances. basically, all violetbloods are technically mutant purplebloods (and fuchsia blooded trolls are like. an even rarer “hyper mutation” of purplebloods but thats not relevant here) uh. I hope that makes sense? I like speculating how blood color works in trolls and seadwellers in particular are weird. Anyway,

Januss is a violetblood, or at least appears to be one when she’s a grub. She has a mutation in the protein responsible for “switching on” the seadweller gene, though, and it basically switches back off after 4 or so sweeps. As a result, her blood color has shifted from violet to purple and her fins and gills are stunted. On the surface she just looks like a violetblood with kinda small fins, on the inside her gills barely work and are getting worse, and she probably has a few other odd symptoms from her body suddenly changing its mind about blood color. (she’ll probably live to some weird age inbetween what’s expected of violet and purple, for example. if no one finds out and culls her.)

I like this explanation of her state a lot. Something like her having an enzyme/growth hormone that has a visible effect on the blood color and results in the development of particular features. And then her body just says Oops and stops producing that hormone and so her blood goes back to the basic state… It’s really interesting. I think it works, especially because there’s some speculation on the bridge between purples and violets anyways, considering the purple association with aquatic mammals. They’re Close to the seadweller without actually Being the seadweller and I think that provides some definitely reasonable room for mutation and weird halfway development. 

All of that is to say- your theory tracks well enough to justify the theme of your character.

Symbol and meaning: Aquaries is what she’s grown up under and goes by, but technically she’d be Capries, which is somewhat reflected in her horns. When she winds up playing Sgrub and eventually stops hiding her mutation, she makes a new (non canon) symbol for herself by taking Aquaries and making it fit the purpleblood sign language. (caus like, I doubt she’d automatically know “oh yes my actual sign is capries” but she does want to reflect her real blood color)

I like that a lot! Figuring out and working things out for herself is great. And not to spoil what we talk about during the land/title/moon section, but I do agree with these assignments. So I’ll be keeping this in mind when working w/ her design!

Trolltag: agileTraverse. caus she’s fast and can do some sick stunts and she knows it

Might I recommend supersonicAstrobatic[SA]? Just to REALLY push her speed theme and at least pay reference to the fact that she wants to race spaceships. Or astrobaticTerminality[AT] if you want to keep the same abbreviation. It keeps the spaceship reference. Terminality pays reference to the god Janus’ theme of End Points, meaning here the Extreme, The Most. Also a good reference to the fact that she’s ruthless and will, in fact, do a kill. She’s a terminal astrobatic.

Quirk: ^she encloses her words like this to resemble her symbol. she types fairly normally, no capitalization unLESS/SHE/GETS/EXCITED/OR/ANGRY/IN/WHICH/CASE/SHES/FAST/AND/LOUD/AND/EVERYONE/KNOWS/IT!!!!!!!!!!!!^

Not sure how she’d change that after changing her symbol, maybe by swapping the ^ for a u.

Honestly I think just keeping it around would be acceptable? It’s the way she’s talked for a lot of years, so you could make the argument that the habit is hard to break and just sticks around. It’s implied that it reflects a real manner of speaking, too, since Sollux’s changes upon blindness. So unless you think she would change some of her vocal mannerisms or would undergo some physical impact (like losing her front teeth, to return to the Sollux example), there’s no Real need to adjust her quirk. 

Special Abilities: nothing beyond standard highblood stuff, and the aforementioned mutation. It’s worth mentioning that she can’t do chucklevoodos though. I figure her seadweller upbringing keeps her distanced from the whole juggalo religion thing, even after she “shows her true colors”, as it were.

Makes sense, since she didn’t fall back into purpleblood until she hit, what, ~8 years old? I think you could probably make a case for her not having psychic abilities but still having just the subtle passive influence of chucklevoodoos. Because I think the implication is that it’s a natural ability meant to Keep Lowbloods In Check that is cultivated by the church for a specific purpose/aesthetic. 

What I’m saying is that you could give her some really weak chaotic auras that make her slightly more naturally intimidating.

Lusus: Sailfishmom! A large sailfish with some froggy qualities, like bug eyes and fins that are more like a tadpole’s tail. Sailfish caus they’re fast and frog caus they start in the water but do land stuff later in life. She has a pretty ok relationship with her lusus, who helped her through the rough patch that was “oh fuck im a mutant”.

Love the idea of this! Really clever. The transition of the tadpole combined with the speed of the sailfish fit her image very well! Do they breathe through their skin?

Personality/interests: Januss is constantly impatient and constantly moving. Part of this is just the way she is, part of it is her anxiety to grow up and leave the planet as soon as possible so she can claim governorship over some backwater colony where no one higher up than her can figure out her secret. her passion is vehicle racing, be it ships or cars or spaceships (well, she wants to race spaceships, anyway. when she’s actually off planet.) She has an enormous garage of assorted vehicles in her hive, which is a gargantuan decommissioned spacefighter carrier, half sunk near a sandbar as the dying wish of the former captain.

Sorry to interject. There’s just something very, very funny to me about the idea of a Carpenter Drone just placing a child in a half-sunken spaceship and being like Good Luck. It’s also a great hive location thematically, so good on ya.

She loves giving custom paintjobs and shady modifications to her rides, the latter giving her a nice edge in the less respectable races she participates in (which is all of them.) Her trophies and her killcount on the tracks are both formidable in number, but out of the drivers seat she tends to be a coward. She has few friends, and barely filled quadrants, managing to escape culling only by pulling some strings with her royal status. This isn’t because she’s antisocial, rather she’s terrified someone will figure out her secret. All of her friends are land dwellers because of this, since hanging out underwater for long would probably drown her.

I like the idea of her giving some really wild paintjobs to her rides. Violets are described as the eccentrics, so her reflecting just a little bit of that seadweller tendency could be fun. The shady modifications are also interesting. Does she purchase them on the black market? Have a supplier? Or does she fiddle with them herself? All of the above could be interesting. 

Like she could start off buying from a shady person and then move into tinkering with them herself, to… mixed results.

I like the idea of her being a coward, too- it makes sense! If there’s a fair fight on the horizon, she runs the risk of bleeding. And running the risk of bleeding is something she’d never want to do. 

I have to point out that she’s not really Currently at risk of being culled for being partnerless. At 7 sweeps, she’d be sitting comfortably at about 15. Though we don’t Really have confirmation of about when the Imperial Drones come knocking, it’s safe to assume it’d be closer to when the trolls are About To Leave Planet, since that’s when they’d be adults. Which  means she’s got a little over one sweep to sort her shit out or run. …Or pull some nobility strings, as you’ve mentioned. 

I feel like it’s worth noting at this point that Janus is heavily associated with Auspices. So giving her a more firm relationship in that regard might be a good idea just to draw the link. 

Despite her cowardice she has a definite ruthless streak even when off the track, it just tends to only be aimed at lowbloods who she’s sure she can take on. While racing she’s even more brutal, and her general cockiness and arrogance combine with this to make her a terrible sport. If you win against her you’re dead as soon as the race is over if she thinks she can take you.

I like this a lot. Especially because it shines a light on a very Purpleblood habit of hers. Purplebloods are said to take their work very seriously (even if their work isn’t often… conventional, by our standards) and to desire to be the Foremost in their field, plus they’re known for being very violent. 

Also I hope her underestimating lowbloods comes back to bite her in the ass.

Title: Something of time, for sure, since the whole theme I’m trying to run with Januss is well, literally running. Trying to get into her adult life and away from what she’s afraid of, trying to always be the fastest on the track, her mutation making her a seadweller for only a limited time, et cetera. I don’t have a concrete plot planned for her but you can bet her need to hurry everything will Absolutely Ruin her life bigtime at some point and she’ll have to dig her way out of that. That being said, I can’t decide what class fits her.

I agree with her time assignation so much. The valuing of action, the refusal of passivity even if it’s reckless, the Very strong struggle against fate, the focus on the destination, her restlessness, her ruthlessness… It all checks out! 

Now on to her class:

Prince of Time, Prince of Time, Prince of Time, Prince of Time-

Sorry, got excited about that one. I just think with her general ruthless nature and her impatience, prince of time is a Very fitting role for her. She’s someone very active and someone who seems very focused on her own goals. And this title suits that, but in the worst possible ways. 

Basically speaking, a Prince of Time is able to destroy time or destroy With time. 

Given her impatience and her desire to progress, I can easily see her just destroying segments of time. Deleting them. Poof. Trying to get to where she wants to be as fast as possible. Of course, this would fragment the universe and cause great harm. Skipping out on major segments and very important events could easily distort the timeline. Since inevitability is tied so strongly with the time aspect, Inevitability Itself could be destroyed, which could severely hurt the Alpha Timeline and splinter things to the point of incomprehensibility. Using her time travel in this way could really damage her life and like the lives of everyone across multiple different versions of reality. 

She could also destroy through time, like making things experience decay and destruction at a further rate, or bringing about their inevitable demise sooner than expected. 

Her inverse, Sylph of Space, would allow her to passively create Space. As she fragments and chews up timelines, more and more Boundless Space is able to exist. Each time she uses this power, she creates another timeline, more theoretical Room in which to operate. Which could lead to some grand ‘working with yourself from another dimension’ fun! 

The development needed for this title comes with this: She would have to undergo some major character development to stop from ruining everything. She would have to learn to reign herself in and get herself under control and learn to appreciate the moment before she Destroyed All. 

Land: Not sure? I like the idea of a water covered planet where she has to figure out how to lower the water level to properly traverse it, and even after figuring it out the water will only recede very slowly, making her wait. Sort of both a lesson in patience and an acceptance of her mutation? idk

I love this idea. The fact that it would seem like a mockery of her condition at first but it would allow her to slowly come to terms with it. And the teaching her to slow down and smell the roses. Maybe she could stumble upon mysteries and treasures, things she absolutely would’ve missed if she’d been able to rush through the planet. 

Dream Planet: Derse for sure.

Wow this is very long. I’ll send over the picture in another submission.

Here’s Januss! Left is living that highblood life, right is in session after she’s become comfortable letting that go. She wears the goggles during her races as her highblood self, and more or less all the time later, since she’s found that when she dosen’t have to keep up an elaborate lie around water, she likes it a lot better.

I’ll be honest there’s not much I had to edit for her. 

LEFT SIDE-

Horns and hair: I kept them the same. But let me tell you spriting that hair wasn’t easy! Very fun, though. 

Fins: I edited them to be slightly smaller than the traditional seadweller fins! 

Eyes: I wanted to make them nicely sharp and with some dark lines to make sure they looked defined and dangerous. I also had to give her some eyelashes because of troll rules. 

Mouth: I loved it so it gets to stick how it was. 

Clothes: I took John’s ectobiologist jacket and edited it so thoroughly I almost considered skipping on mentioning it, but that’d be rude. Either way, I liked most of the detail and really liked how it looks kind of like an admiral’s jacket. I decided to take the jacket and extend it down into the pants, though. For two reasons, really:

1. The original pants color looked too much like purpleblood and I thought it’d be antithetical to her trying to hide her blood condition to wear such a large amount of it on her clothes. 

2. Combining them together reminded me of racecar driver jumpers! 

Shoes: They’re just some pretty simple and straightforward boots.

RIGHT SIDE-

Horns, hair, fins, eyes: See above. 

Goggles: I liked them a lot, so I kept them around. I just took the outline of her shirt and created an overlay with it, and then put a screen for reflective light. 

Mouth: Purpleblood lipstick, like in your original art. 

Symbol: I couldn’t really see the detail of the symbol really well on your original drawing, so I tried to create what I could tell of it as best as I could. It looks a liiittle similar to Capripia, but that’s fine. I think the straight edge ends and the curled wings as well as the rounded diamond set it apart enough and I think it takes enough notes from her Aquaries symbol to be at least recognizable in context! 

Pants: Because she’s a purpleblood I didn’t want to leave her without some neat patterned flourish. So I added a checker pattern to one leg. Mostly because I’ve seen a lot of motorcycle racers with those kinds of patterns on their legs. And it makes her look edgy.

Boots: The same but edited to have more gold and purple. 

Thank you so much for sharing her, I absolutely loved her and loved working on her!

-CD

#tuesdaney #januss celera #januss #celera #violetblood #purpleblood #mutantblood #(technically?) #seadweller #(kind of?) #submission #review #redesign #cd review