Natasha: I'm so sorry we put you in the middle of this Carol. But I'm also glad you were here.
Carol: It was one of the most frustrating days of my entire life. I'm exhausted. I feel like a single mom in a mop commercial.
Rhodes: Welcome to the Avengers compound.
Tony: [pops champagne]
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Texts From Superheroes
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tony: why do people believe i’m incapable of doing anything nice ever?
rhodey: experience
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rhodeytony morning cuddles for @shanastoryteller, thank you for your support ♡
buy me a ko-fi and get a sketch!
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Iron Man 15 (2024) by Kael Ngu
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Clint: What's going on?
Rhodes: Tony wouldn't drink his water.
Clint: ...And?
Rhodes: I asked him how fast he could chug an entire bottle.
Tony: 16 OUNCES IN 10 SECONDS, BITCHES!
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Undead war beetle, raised from the hollowed-out body of a rezhatta or watroach (by Brom, from The City-State of Nibenay, in the Dark Sun World boxed set The Ivory Triangle for AD&D 2e, TSR, 1993)
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tony, loudly clearing his throat and shaking out a VERY long sheet of paper: my dearest rhodes
rhodey, glancing up: yes?
tony, assuming a strong stance like he’s about to serenade him: my dearest platypus, words cannot express my adoration for you, nor my dedication to your side. nay, but I shall attempt anyways. your hair is silky like a really nice pillow, your eyes as deep as a river. your nose was drawn by the gods, and your mouth was painted with a rose.
rhodey, turning to tony’s literal girlfriend, eyes wide: you aren’t going to stop him???
pepper, tony’s aforementioned literal girlfriend, turning the page in her book: if I stop him now, he’ll just start over
tony, getting louder: YOUR HANDS-
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